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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,845 --> 00:00:04,369 - Torvald Utne. The Olympic shot-putter? 2 00:00:04,547 --> 00:00:07,107 The chairman of the UN Intelligence Committee. 3 00:00:07,283 --> 00:00:10,046 Do you not even skim the briefings in your inbox? 4 00:00:10,218 --> 00:00:13,584 - I have an inbox? - Utne decides which spy agency... 5 00:00:13,754 --> 00:00:16,620 gets the insanely lucrative UN contract. 6 00:00:16,789 --> 00:00:19,121 And as you may or... 7 00:00:20,093 --> 00:00:22,492 - probably don't know, for six years running... 8 00:00:22,661 --> 00:00:25,128 the contract has gone to ODIN. 9 00:00:25,296 --> 00:00:27,958 Ugh. The Organization of Douche bags In... In... 10 00:00:28,132 --> 00:00:30,793 - Wait, I had something. - Douche-baggery notwithstanding... 11 00:00:30,967 --> 00:00:33,628 - Nowheresville. ...their ground floor isn't a laundromat. 12 00:00:33,802 --> 00:00:36,929 - Wash-and-fold, technically. - ISIS needs that UN contract. 13 00:00:37,105 --> 00:00:40,404 So I am going to woo Mr. Torvald Utne... 14 00:00:40,575 --> 00:00:44,010 - Gross. ...with a dinner party. Tonight. 15 00:00:44,177 --> 00:00:46,872 - And you're uninviting me in advance. - Normally, yes. 16 00:00:47,046 --> 00:00:50,208 But this party is different. And very important... 17 00:00:50,382 --> 00:00:52,816 so absolutely nothing can go wrong. 18 00:00:52,983 --> 00:00:55,474 Then we better keep Dr. Bellows away from Jeannie... 19 00:00:55,652 --> 00:00:57,243 - No, no dates. - I Dream of Jeannie. 20 00:00:57,420 --> 00:00:59,945 No one is bringing a date, so don't you bring a date. 21 00:01:00,123 --> 00:01:02,818 I don't wanna get there and be the only one without a date. 22 00:01:02,991 --> 00:01:06,756 And I don't want another one of your sullen whores using my medicine cabinet... 23 00:01:06,927 --> 00:01:09,759 like a Pez dispenser. 24 00:01:09,929 --> 00:01:12,625 Peggy, you will probably kill me for this... 25 00:01:12,799 --> 00:01:15,631 but Senator, we now have a subway museum... 26 00:01:17,668 --> 00:01:20,796 If... Are you still big into trains? 27 00:01:20,972 --> 00:01:24,532 That wasn't her fault. Who puts OxyContin in a Xanax bottle? 28 00:01:24,708 --> 00:01:27,232 - People with servants, idiot. - Lf they steal pills... 29 00:01:27,410 --> 00:01:31,641 how does it help to switch the labels? - Because they can't read English. 30 00:01:31,813 --> 00:01:35,304 Ha, ha. I'm gonna leave you to think about that whole line of reasoning... 31 00:01:35,482 --> 00:01:37,609 - You think. - And what scheme you're hatching... 32 00:01:37,785 --> 00:01:40,651 for this dinner party. - There's no scheme-hatchery. 33 00:01:40,820 --> 00:01:42,014 Hello? 34 00:01:44,122 --> 00:01:47,852 - Do you mind? It's the caterer. Right. Okay, sure. 35 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,118 Your instructions are clear? - Ja. No problem. 36 00:01:51,661 --> 00:01:53,891 Oh, I have other call. Yeah, okay. 37 00:01:54,064 --> 00:01:55,553 - Hello? Oh. Hello? 38 00:01:55,731 --> 00:01:58,665 - Da, da. - So your instructions are clear? 39 00:01:58,833 --> 00:02:01,393 - Da. - Excellent. 40 00:02:01,569 --> 00:02:05,504 - Uta, get dressed, we work tonight. But Mani, what about The Fantasticks? 41 00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:07,764 Tomorrow, liebchen, I promise, but to... 42 00:02:09,175 --> 00:02:12,371 - You brought this ridiculous thing. - Is it so ridiculous... 43 00:02:12,544 --> 00:02:17,378 to ready my body for the baby? - Uta. Please do not start this. 44 00:02:17,548 --> 00:02:19,708 Just ready your body for work, hmm? 45 00:02:19,882 --> 00:02:21,747 Fine. What is the job? 46 00:02:21,918 --> 00:02:25,284 Two jobs. The first, we make a big phony attempt... 47 00:02:25,454 --> 00:02:29,355 to kill Torvald Utne. - Okay. And the second? 48 00:02:30,391 --> 00:02:32,017 We kill Torvald Utne. 49 00:03:04,049 --> 00:03:06,142 So your instructions are clear? 50 00:03:06,318 --> 00:03:10,048 Drinks and fish balls. You ring first bell for dinner. 51 00:03:10,221 --> 00:03:14,452 And on second bell, I come out, all John Wooey... 52 00:03:14,624 --> 00:03:17,251 screaming crazy and shooting blanks. 53 00:03:17,426 --> 00:03:20,986 Then I throw myself in front of Utne, shielding him with my supple body... 54 00:03:21,162 --> 00:03:23,960 as you're gunned down by ISIS agents. 55 00:03:24,132 --> 00:03:26,463 Who are also shooting blanks. 56 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,694 Mm-hm. - And loud ones. 57 00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:32,860 Because for Utne to buy it, everyone must act surprised. 58 00:03:33,037 --> 00:03:35,767 - Oh, I'm sure they will. - Yeah, me too. 59 00:03:35,940 --> 00:03:38,464 Mani, I have a bad feeling for this. 60 00:03:38,642 --> 00:03:41,371 Why? Only I will have real bullets. 61 00:03:41,544 --> 00:03:43,876 This is taking chocolate from a baby. 62 00:03:44,046 --> 00:03:46,275 Oh, no, we won't give our baby chocolate. 63 00:03:46,448 --> 00:03:49,041 - Ugh. - He can have carob. 64 00:03:49,216 --> 00:03:52,083 Thanks for inviting us to your swanky dinner party, Ms. Archer. 65 00:03:52,253 --> 00:03:54,550 - Yeah, I could get used to this. - Don't. 66 00:03:54,721 --> 00:03:58,656 You're only here because I may need you to take one for the team. 67 00:03:58,824 --> 00:04:02,589 - Torvald is an incorrigible poon hound. Ha, ha. 68 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,751 - Those are enormous in size. Oh, well... 69 00:04:05,929 --> 00:04:10,160 - Uh, thank you. Kind of. - May I please cup one in my hand? 70 00:04:10,332 --> 00:04:12,892 - Ooh. See, here's the thing... - We're actually together. 71 00:04:13,068 --> 00:04:15,262 Cyril, go get some gravlax. 72 00:04:15,436 --> 00:04:18,165 Torvald, feel free to cup anything in the room. 73 00:04:18,338 --> 00:04:21,398 Uh... Oh, you were talking about my guns. 74 00:04:21,575 --> 00:04:23,337 Strange that you wear them to a party. 75 00:04:23,509 --> 00:04:26,272 - Normally I wouldn't, but Malory... - But that's ISIS for you. 76 00:04:26,444 --> 00:04:28,139 Always primed and ready for action. 77 00:04:30,414 --> 00:04:33,349 This is good to know. - Yeah, how about that? 78 00:04:33,517 --> 00:04:37,680 Which is why you should consider ISIS for the UN contract. 79 00:04:37,854 --> 00:04:40,913 Our agents are highly-trained in many disciplines. 80 00:04:42,957 --> 00:04:45,255 - Like Krav Maga, for instance. - My arm, my arm. 81 00:04:45,426 --> 00:04:47,188 - You're breaking my arm. - Lana. 82 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:51,159 - Oh, I'm sorry. Did that hurt? - Yes, it hurt. What is wrong with you? 83 00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:55,163 Nothing but too much enthusiasm for the opportunity to serve the UN. 84 00:04:55,333 --> 00:04:57,301 - Oh, and hands like the Truckasaurus. - Hey. 85 00:04:57,468 --> 00:05:01,198 - Gravlax, anyone? - No. No gravlax. I need painkillers. 86 00:05:01,371 --> 00:05:03,565 - Cyril, in my medicine cabinet... Wait, no. - Aah. 87 00:05:05,374 --> 00:05:08,171 I have to get it myself, just right after I get that. 88 00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,711 - Hello. - You're late. 89 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:14,507 - What is that smell? - Gravlax and failure. 90 00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,672 I think Lana just broke Torvald's hand. 91 00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:19,942 - Truckasaurus. Ha, ha! - And we won't win that contract if... 92 00:05:20,118 --> 00:05:22,712 Who on God's green earth dressed you? 93 00:05:22,888 --> 00:05:26,254 Nobody, that's why I'm late. Woodhouse just disappeared. 94 00:05:26,424 --> 00:05:27,720 Only temporarily, sir. 95 00:05:27,891 --> 00:05:31,121 Why are you here? - Actually sir, I'm with Carina. 96 00:05:31,293 --> 00:05:32,692 - Who? - Carina. 97 00:05:32,861 --> 00:05:34,488 - Ugh. - I changed it again. 98 00:05:34,663 --> 00:05:37,529 I feel that Carina better captures my sensual womanhood. 99 00:05:37,699 --> 00:05:39,757 Yeah, she so totally does. 100 00:05:39,933 --> 00:05:41,924 - You said no dates. - I said no such thing. 101 00:05:42,102 --> 00:05:45,002 - Well, your mouth did. - Well, your mouth better get over there... 102 00:05:45,171 --> 00:05:46,900 and make Torvald happy. - Um, phrasing? 103 00:05:47,073 --> 00:05:50,633 Regale him with exciting tales of ISIS exploits. 104 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:54,369 Take his mind off Lana's huge, Johnny Benchian fingers. 105 00:05:54,545 --> 00:05:57,069 - Can we get off my fingers? - Yeah, they are pretty big. 106 00:05:57,247 --> 00:05:59,238 - First time I've heard you complain. - Hi-ho! Ha, ha. 107 00:05:59,415 --> 00:06:02,247 - Seriously, who wants gravlax? - Sterling, go. Regale him. 108 00:06:02,417 --> 00:06:04,782 - I think he's already being regaled. Meatballs! 109 00:06:04,952 --> 00:06:08,478 - Oh, for... Torvald. - Bet you get that a lot, huh, Torvie? 110 00:06:08,655 --> 00:06:10,782 Swedish meatballs. 111 00:06:10,957 --> 00:06:13,015 Get away from me, you disgusting woman. 112 00:06:13,192 --> 00:06:16,025 - Wow. So even Pam got a date. - A man, even. 113 00:06:16,194 --> 00:06:19,322 But suave master-spy, Sterling Archer, stands alone. 114 00:06:19,497 --> 00:06:21,088 Just like the cheese. 115 00:06:21,265 --> 00:06:24,324 - I have a... - And a very handsome cheese, at that. 116 00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,263 I don't even know how you got out, Woodhouse. 117 00:06:26,435 --> 00:06:28,096 - Alone. - And I do have a date. 118 00:06:28,271 --> 00:06:30,830 - You do? Where is she? - She is parking. 119 00:06:31,006 --> 00:06:32,939 Oh, yeah? What's she driving? A Snuffleupagus? 120 00:06:34,541 --> 00:06:36,099 Uh, oh, wait. Uh, with all that... 121 00:06:36,277 --> 00:06:38,767 sexy European lingerie modeling... Mm-hm? 122 00:06:38,945 --> 00:06:42,402 To pay for her European med school that she's going to... 123 00:06:42,581 --> 00:06:44,844 she probably never had time to learn to drive. 124 00:06:45,016 --> 00:06:47,177 She sounds fabulous. 125 00:06:47,351 --> 00:06:50,842 - Gravlax? - Thanks, no. I'm allergic to cat piss. 126 00:06:51,021 --> 00:06:52,420 Go away. 127 00:06:52,689 --> 00:06:55,282 So your instructions are clear? - Oh. 128 00:06:55,457 --> 00:06:59,119 Why must you micromanage everything? Yeah, yeah, okay. 129 00:07:01,495 --> 00:07:03,827 You know what second-hand smoke does to a fetus. 130 00:07:03,997 --> 00:07:06,362 Uta, after we kill Utne... 131 00:07:06,532 --> 00:07:10,365 we need to have a very long and serious talk. 132 00:07:10,535 --> 00:07:12,765 No. I need a painkiller, not a... 133 00:07:12,937 --> 00:07:15,370 - Torvald. - What is that? A calcium supplement? 134 00:07:15,539 --> 00:07:19,099 - Trust me, dear, these work wonders. - Okay. 135 00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:20,708 But what I have seen... 136 00:07:20,877 --> 00:07:24,209 ISIS is a distant second to ODIN. Very distant. 137 00:07:24,379 --> 00:07:26,039 What about the groundbreaking work... 138 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:29,307 Dr. Krieger is doing for ISIS in our Applied Research Division? 139 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:32,076 - Yeah, tell him about the sex-robot. - The what? 140 00:07:32,252 --> 00:07:34,947 - Yes... The what? - I call him Fister Roboto. 141 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:37,486 - But it doesn't just fist. Tell him. - Pam! 142 00:07:37,656 --> 00:07:41,250 He's a fully-integrated multi-fetish artificial being. 143 00:07:41,426 --> 00:07:46,055 - That is the most disgusting... - Shut up. Shut, shut. And the best part... 144 00:07:46,228 --> 00:07:50,664 is that he's learning. - ISIS clearly is not the agency for us. 145 00:07:50,832 --> 00:07:52,993 Rotten gravlax, sex-bots, and, uh... 146 00:07:53,168 --> 00:07:55,601 except for the Negress, the women are... 147 00:07:55,769 --> 00:07:58,737 Willing to do whatever it takes. 148 00:07:58,905 --> 00:08:01,465 - Still gross. - And such rudeness. 149 00:08:01,641 --> 00:08:05,337 - Fister Roboto wouldn't take that. - He's just too damn sensitive. 150 00:08:05,510 --> 00:08:08,808 As also am I. So if you will excuse... 151 00:08:08,979 --> 00:08:13,745 There, there. Let that calcium citrate seep into your bones. 152 00:08:13,917 --> 00:08:15,611 What about Trinette? She said that? 153 00:08:15,784 --> 00:08:18,776 How about Jade? Oh, no, never mind. 154 00:08:18,953 --> 00:08:22,445 Destiny? No, she's not passable. With that Adam's apple... 155 00:08:22,623 --> 00:08:24,749 she looks like she swallowed a Rubik's Cube. 156 00:08:24,925 --> 00:08:26,187 Excuse me, sir. - L... 157 00:08:29,829 --> 00:08:32,695 - You are looking for a date? - Are you working? 158 00:08:32,864 --> 00:08:35,354 Mm. You could say that, yes. 159 00:08:35,532 --> 00:08:39,490 Then we need to lock down your cover story. And, uh... 160 00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:41,967 I need to hit an ATM. 161 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:46,774 Torvald, please, don't go yet. 162 00:08:46,942 --> 00:08:49,466 - You haven't even tried the fish balls. - No need. 163 00:08:49,643 --> 00:08:53,373 There is plenty of fishiness going on at ISIS without your balls. 164 00:08:53,546 --> 00:08:55,207 Maybe I should go say something. 165 00:08:55,382 --> 00:08:58,373 Where's the damn fish balls, already? I could kill for some food. 166 00:08:58,550 --> 00:09:00,517 - Sure it wouldn't be the first time. - Lana. 167 00:09:00,685 --> 00:09:03,245 No, I just meant like she literally killed somebody. 168 00:09:03,421 --> 00:09:05,684 Then ate their corpse. I saw where you were going. 169 00:09:05,856 --> 00:09:09,655 - You know... - When I served in the King's African Rifles... 170 00:09:09,825 --> 00:09:13,282 the local Zambezi tribesmen called human flesh... 171 00:09:13,461 --> 00:09:15,861 "long pig." 172 00:09:17,197 --> 00:09:18,494 Never much cared for it. 173 00:09:18,665 --> 00:09:20,393 Torvald, at least stay for dinner. 174 00:09:20,566 --> 00:09:23,899 - I think you'll be very surprised by... - I detest surprises. 175 00:09:24,070 --> 00:09:26,970 Which is why the contract will remain with ODIN. 176 00:09:27,139 --> 00:09:30,301 Mani, do something. Utne is leaving. 177 00:09:30,474 --> 00:09:32,907 Okay, okay, we go ahead of schedule. 178 00:09:33,076 --> 00:09:35,010 Find some Tupperware, we take food to go. 179 00:09:35,178 --> 00:09:37,236 But you promised me Ruby Foo's. 180 00:09:37,413 --> 00:09:40,904 Yeah, I also promised you a baby. How's that working out for you? 181 00:09:41,082 --> 00:09:44,677 - Hey, does that cook seem weird? - Normal-weird or German-weird? 182 00:09:44,851 --> 00:09:46,842 Now, good night, and good... 183 00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:51,217 Evening, you beautiful girl. 184 00:09:51,390 --> 00:09:53,755 - Hello. - You're not, um, leaving, are you? 185 00:09:53,925 --> 00:09:57,485 No, not if you are staying, Miss? 186 00:09:57,661 --> 00:10:00,221 - Oh, um... Yup. - H�bsch. 187 00:10:00,397 --> 00:10:03,126 - Elke H�bsch. - A pleasure, my dear. 188 00:10:03,299 --> 00:10:06,825 - I am Torvald... - Utne, I know. 189 00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:10,266 - I am a great admirer. - You know he's not the shot-putter, right? 190 00:10:10,438 --> 00:10:13,236 Of course he is not the shot-putter. 191 00:10:13,406 --> 00:10:15,499 But I am sure he is very strong. 192 00:10:15,675 --> 00:10:18,734 Ha, ha. Unlike these drinks. Come, my dear... 193 00:10:18,911 --> 00:10:21,505 let us find something potable. 194 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:25,581 - Whoa. Wait a minute. Hey, Utne. Utne! - Would you shut up? 195 00:10:25,749 --> 00:10:27,478 We just need to keep Torvald happy... 196 00:10:27,651 --> 00:10:31,017 until dinner. - And what about my happiness, Mother? 197 00:10:31,187 --> 00:10:33,747 - Well? - Oh, was that not rhetorical? 198 00:10:38,625 --> 00:10:40,525 The Needle? Why is she here? 199 00:10:40,694 --> 00:10:44,322 Oh, that Russian prick. He sent two teams again. 200 00:10:44,497 --> 00:10:48,091 And if the Needle kills Utne, we won't even get our per diem. 201 00:10:48,266 --> 00:10:50,256 But what if you kill them both? 202 00:10:50,434 --> 00:10:52,800 Oh. Yeah, I could do this. 203 00:10:52,970 --> 00:10:55,028 Hey, help. - Ah! Help with what, sir? 204 00:10:55,205 --> 00:10:58,867 No, I was addressing you as "help." What's the story on those fish balls? 205 00:10:59,041 --> 00:11:02,204 - Coming right out. - Hurry it up. All I've had today is, like... 206 00:11:02,377 --> 00:11:04,606 six gummy bears and some Scotch. 207 00:11:06,113 --> 00:11:09,548 - This is why I don't get you nice things. - Not that. Him. Uta, that was Duchess. 208 00:11:09,716 --> 00:11:13,583 - That was Duchess? - Yeah, the deadliest agent there is. 209 00:11:14,420 --> 00:11:16,011 Oh, my God. 210 00:11:16,187 --> 00:11:17,882 I can't believe they fell for that. 211 00:11:18,056 --> 00:11:20,489 But if he's on the plan of Frau Archer... 212 00:11:20,657 --> 00:11:24,956 What if her plan is a big fat set-up? What if they mean to kill us? 213 00:11:25,127 --> 00:11:27,720 - Oh! Mani, the baby. - Ah. 214 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,729 Okay. So now we go to Plan Manfred. 215 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:33,924 - And then Ruby Foo's. - Well, we will see. 216 00:11:34,101 --> 00:11:37,729 Really? A European lingerie model. 217 00:11:37,904 --> 00:11:41,066 Only to pay for European med school. Ha, ha. 218 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,731 - Like to get a physical from her. - Or with her. Ha, ha. 219 00:11:44,909 --> 00:11:47,173 - Ow, ow, ow! - I wonder if Dr. Panty Model knows... 220 00:11:47,345 --> 00:11:49,744 how many pounds it takes to snap a collarbone? 221 00:11:49,913 --> 00:11:53,678 - She probably uses the metric system. - Yeah, what do they use? Kilowatts? 222 00:11:53,849 --> 00:11:58,046 - No, in this case it would be pascals. - Ugh. Hey, Europe, be gayer. 223 00:11:58,219 --> 00:12:00,914 - Lana. Release him. - As you wish. 224 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:05,148 - I find your lack of faith disturbing. - I find your mannish hands disturbing. 225 00:12:05,324 --> 00:12:06,814 I think they're kinda sexy. 226 00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:09,984 - Excuse me? - They're fingers, Pam, not kielbasas. 227 00:12:10,161 --> 00:12:13,823 But keep them limbered up. I have a big surprise planned for dinner... 228 00:12:13,998 --> 00:12:16,898 and I need you ready, locked, and loaded. 229 00:12:17,066 --> 00:12:21,866 Yeah so, do you maybe want to let us in on your little scheme-hatchery? 230 00:12:22,804 --> 00:12:26,102 - No. - Oh, if I were 20 years younger. 231 00:12:26,274 --> 00:12:28,571 - I can make you feel like you are. - Mm. 232 00:12:28,742 --> 00:12:31,643 I would like I think that very much. 233 00:12:31,811 --> 00:12:34,108 - Well then go find an ATM, - I'm sorry? 234 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:36,941 Oh, me too. I must leave for a moment. 235 00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:40,214 - Excuse me. - Yeah, sorry, don't mind me. 236 00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:43,820 - Hey, are you having a good time? - Oh, I am. Ha, ha. 237 00:12:43,987 --> 00:12:47,854 Good to hear. Please excuse us. Mm-hm. 238 00:12:48,024 --> 00:12:49,957 Keep her out of the medicine cabinet. 239 00:12:50,125 --> 00:12:52,821 One more dead body in here, and that bitch Trudy Beekman... 240 00:12:52,993 --> 00:12:55,518 will have me right back in front of the co-op board. 241 00:12:55,696 --> 00:12:57,959 You don't get along with your neighbors anywhere. 242 00:12:58,131 --> 00:13:00,964 Who could with a woman who wallpapered her guest bathroom... 243 00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:02,896 with vintage New Yorker covers? 244 00:13:03,569 --> 00:13:05,627 Yes, Major. I am in position... 245 00:13:05,803 --> 00:13:08,237 and ready to eliminate the target. 246 00:13:08,406 --> 00:13:10,965 Excellent. ODIN will find it much harder... 247 00:13:11,141 --> 00:13:13,734 ... to bribe a dead man for the UN contract. 248 00:13:14,343 --> 00:13:16,937 And I will find it much more enjoyable... 249 00:13:17,112 --> 00:13:19,136 to work with the woman who runs ISIS. 250 00:13:19,314 --> 00:13:23,647 - What do you mean "with?" - Against. Obviously. Duh. 251 00:13:23,817 --> 00:13:26,512 Obviously. And so I still think... 252 00:13:26,686 --> 00:13:28,347 you should let me kill everybody here. 253 00:13:28,521 --> 00:13:33,786 Nyet. Under no circumstances are you to harm the hostess. Who, um... 254 00:13:33,958 --> 00:13:37,052 - Whose name I have no way of knowing. Hey. What the hell are you doing? 255 00:13:37,227 --> 00:13:41,060 - Uh, Botox. - Not from the medicine cabinet. No. 256 00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:44,130 Don't use this. She switches all the labels on her medicine. 257 00:13:44,299 --> 00:13:48,291 - Why? - I think there's, like, a racial component. 258 00:13:48,469 --> 00:13:50,527 But for all we know, this could be insulin. 259 00:13:50,704 --> 00:13:53,400 - Oh, your mother is a diabetic? - How should I know? 260 00:13:53,573 --> 00:13:56,097 Why don't you just pour it on everybody's? 261 00:13:56,275 --> 00:14:00,335 Because our employer was very clear: We are not to harm the hostess. 262 00:14:00,511 --> 00:14:02,274 But her I want to poison most of all. 263 00:14:02,446 --> 00:14:05,745 - Are you lazy Huns ready, or what? Oh. Ha, ha. Hello, yep. 264 00:14:05,916 --> 00:14:09,817 - Good. So on the second bell... - I come out shooting blanks. See? 265 00:14:09,986 --> 00:14:12,351 Uta is just, uh, polishing the gun. 266 00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:16,785 Give me that. Some idiot dropped a fish ball on my Azerbaijani rug. 267 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,691 - I am that idiot. - Ach. 268 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,760 Why are you so immature? 269 00:14:24,096 --> 00:14:25,427 I'm 19. 270 00:14:25,597 --> 00:14:27,587 Elke? Is everything all right? 271 00:14:27,765 --> 00:14:29,460 Wunderbar, Tovald. 272 00:14:29,634 --> 00:14:32,227 - How are you? - I am fantastic, my dear. 273 00:14:32,402 --> 00:14:35,734 Those calcium supplements are amazing. 274 00:14:35,904 --> 00:14:38,202 You're gonna need some calcium, after I... 275 00:14:38,374 --> 00:14:40,671 do something bad to your bones. 276 00:14:40,842 --> 00:14:42,173 Hello? - Hello? 277 00:14:42,343 --> 00:14:44,708 - Can you hear me? Come in. - What? Wait. 278 00:14:44,878 --> 00:14:46,641 - What the hell? - What is the frequency? 279 00:14:46,813 --> 00:14:49,610 Kenneth? - Turn off. Turn off. Turn off. 280 00:14:49,782 --> 00:14:52,875 What? I can't hear you, tiny man. 281 00:14:53,051 --> 00:14:57,180 Oh, great. Thanks, Mother, for replacing the baby aspirin with LSD. 282 00:14:57,354 --> 00:14:58,753 God, that is just... 283 00:14:58,922 --> 00:15:01,082 hmm, classic her. 284 00:15:03,092 --> 00:15:04,683 Places, everyone. 285 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,885 - Is everyone comfy? Relatively. 286 00:15:07,062 --> 00:15:08,255 Sterling and Lana? 287 00:15:08,429 --> 00:15:10,056 You both have a clear line of... 288 00:15:10,231 --> 00:15:11,858 sight to the kitchen? - Yes? 289 00:15:12,032 --> 00:15:15,263 - Sure, I think so. - Well then let's eat. First bell. 290 00:15:15,435 --> 00:15:19,837 - Wow. Forgot how much I hated that. - Oh, that's right. 291 00:15:20,005 --> 00:15:23,565 I kept it on the nightstand to wake Nanny whenever Sterling wet the bed. 292 00:15:23,741 --> 00:15:26,038 Ha-ha-ha! - L... Mother! 293 00:15:26,777 --> 00:15:28,244 Sissy bed-wetter. 294 00:15:28,411 --> 00:15:32,040 - Wait, whose bed? - It was always "don't ask, don't tell." 295 00:15:32,214 --> 00:15:34,977 Woodhouse. What are you doing? - Uh, sitting down, sir. 296 00:15:35,150 --> 00:15:37,242 - What, at the table? Like people? Sterling. 297 00:15:37,418 --> 00:15:39,909 - Sterling. - What? Look, he thinks he's people. 298 00:15:40,087 --> 00:15:43,180 This Archer is a gigantic douche bag. 299 00:15:43,356 --> 00:15:44,913 Oh, Torvald. 300 00:15:45,857 --> 00:15:48,348 - Who cares about him? - Oh. 301 00:15:48,527 --> 00:15:50,426 Woodhouse, dear, please have a seat. 302 00:15:50,594 --> 00:15:52,425 - Very kind of you, ma'am. Shut up. 303 00:15:52,596 --> 00:15:55,325 - Torvald, a toast? - Sure, go crazy. 304 00:15:55,498 --> 00:15:57,431 - Oh... Then, um... 305 00:15:58,434 --> 00:16:00,334 - Hooray. Dig in. Wow. 306 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:03,664 - And what is this we're eating? - It smells vaguely poisonous. 307 00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:06,362 It does smell vaguely poisonous. 308 00:16:06,540 --> 00:16:09,702 - Are you sure she has the right plate? - Pretty sure. 309 00:16:09,875 --> 00:16:12,070 - Oh, Uta. - What? I am pretty sure. 310 00:16:13,578 --> 00:16:16,570 Don't worry, this is a normal smell. 311 00:16:16,748 --> 00:16:19,773 - This is called Janssons frestelse. - Frestel? 312 00:16:19,950 --> 00:16:24,010 Yes, frestelse. It means "temptation." 313 00:16:24,187 --> 00:16:27,883 Oh, Torvald. I am very tempted. 314 00:16:28,056 --> 00:16:32,856 Yes, and I am tempted to give ISIS the UN contract, Malory. 315 00:16:33,027 --> 00:16:35,358 Hmm? I mean, you are? 316 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,894 - Well, it depends on your frestelse. Mm. 317 00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:40,622 Tell me, my dear, is it tempting? 318 00:16:42,533 --> 00:16:44,467 Elke, what is the matter? Are you...? 319 00:16:46,470 --> 00:16:48,028 Um... - What? 320 00:16:48,205 --> 00:16:50,468 That's the wrong plate, Uta. 321 00:16:50,639 --> 00:16:51,765 Uta. 322 00:16:51,941 --> 00:16:53,499 That's how you talk. 323 00:16:53,676 --> 00:16:56,075 - Perfidy. - No, Torvald, there's no perfidy. 324 00:16:56,244 --> 00:16:59,872 - You poison my food over a contract? - Torvald, I swear I didn't... 325 00:17:00,047 --> 00:17:03,482 When I am finished with ISIS, you won't be able to get a contract... 326 00:17:03,649 --> 00:17:05,947 for a pre-paid mobile phone. - No, no! 327 00:17:06,119 --> 00:17:10,054 I will tear you down brick by perfidious brick. 328 00:17:12,923 --> 00:17:15,254 - It's okay. - Aah! 329 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,359 It's okay, they're just blanks. 330 00:17:17,527 --> 00:17:19,357 - Oh. - Well, see, you say that. 331 00:17:19,528 --> 00:17:23,224 - But they were blanks. Weren't they? - Uh, only if the back of his skull picked... 332 00:17:23,397 --> 00:17:25,763 that exact moment to explode outwards. - What? 333 00:17:25,933 --> 00:17:27,024 Ugh! - Oh, my God. 334 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,760 - Damn it. Where are those Germans? What? 335 00:17:30,837 --> 00:17:32,599 I should not do this in my condition. 336 00:17:32,772 --> 00:17:36,571 What condition? Your only condition is that you are a stupid crazy girl. 337 00:17:36,741 --> 00:17:40,232 Do not speak to me like a child, Manfred. I hate when you do that. 338 00:17:40,410 --> 00:17:41,672 I think you like it. Ja. 339 00:17:41,845 --> 00:17:45,575 Because I think you have some serious and unresolved issues with your father. 340 00:17:45,748 --> 00:17:48,238 Yeah? And maybe that is why I date... 341 00:17:48,416 --> 00:17:50,646 a wrinkled old man like you. 342 00:17:52,853 --> 00:17:54,445 - Wow. - I didn't mean that. 343 00:17:54,622 --> 00:17:57,385 - No, no, it's okay. I think we both knew it. - Oh, Mani. 344 00:17:57,557 --> 00:18:00,389 Just strange to hear it out loud. 345 00:18:02,528 --> 00:18:05,792 - Oh, for shit's sake. - And they didn't do one dish. 346 00:18:05,963 --> 00:18:08,430 - This is funny to you? - I ate a bunch of that LSD... 347 00:18:08,598 --> 00:18:11,362 you had labeled as baby Aspirin. - That was baby Aspirin. 348 00:18:11,535 --> 00:18:12,762 - Oh. Hey, guys? 349 00:18:12,935 --> 00:18:14,197 - Wait, what? - What, uh? 350 00:18:14,370 --> 00:18:16,894 - What's the plan here? - I shall fetch a rug. 351 00:18:17,071 --> 00:18:21,029 No you will not. That rug was a gift from the Azeri Khan himself. 352 00:18:22,409 --> 00:18:25,275 And besides, we're not going far. 353 00:18:26,579 --> 00:18:30,014 Is that hard to do? With those big old ballpark frankenfingers? 354 00:18:30,182 --> 00:18:32,309 Shut up. 355 00:18:32,483 --> 00:18:34,474 Hurry, the Beekmans will be back any time. 356 00:18:34,652 --> 00:18:36,119 And nobody touch anything. 357 00:18:36,287 --> 00:18:38,220 God, Cyril, would you go? 358 00:18:38,388 --> 00:18:42,380 - Unh. I should be carrying her. - Cyril, I paid her, I get to carry her corpse. 359 00:18:42,558 --> 00:18:45,720 See? Just look at this bathroom. I kinda like it. 360 00:18:45,893 --> 00:18:47,884 Exactly. All right, drop them there... 361 00:18:48,062 --> 00:18:50,586 next to that awful Louis Quinze repro. 362 00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:55,858 Now then. We want this to look like a classic hooker-murder-suicide... 363 00:18:56,035 --> 00:18:58,502 so, Cyril. Take Sterling's gun... 364 00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:01,137 and pump a round into his prostitute. Wait, what? 365 00:19:01,305 --> 00:19:04,297 Everyone shoots the chippy. That way, we're all in it together. 366 00:19:04,474 --> 00:19:07,169 Think of it as a team-building exercise. 367 00:19:07,343 --> 00:19:11,210 ODIN gets to go on Outward Bound. ODIN can suck it. Now shoot. 368 00:19:11,379 --> 00:19:12,437 Oh, Jesus. 369 00:19:14,081 --> 00:19:15,912 You're next. Cyril, that was pathetic. 370 00:19:16,083 --> 00:19:19,415 Come on. Everybody shoots. Hey, I wanna go. Bam! 371 00:19:20,153 --> 00:19:22,620 Now, Sterling, drop your gun between the bodies, and... 372 00:19:22,788 --> 00:19:26,086 No. Have you never seen CSI? This is already, like, Clue Town. 373 00:19:26,257 --> 00:19:29,158 Not for long. Dr. Krieger, dear? What? Oh. 374 00:19:29,327 --> 00:19:32,625 Cyril, call 911 from their phone and leave it off the hook... 375 00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:35,559 and Sterling. But this gun, it was a gift. 376 00:19:35,731 --> 00:19:38,358 Oh, please. Nobody gives you gifts. 377 00:19:38,533 --> 00:19:39,966 You don't know. 378 00:19:40,134 --> 00:19:43,000 Whatever you say, dear. Dr. Krieger? 379 00:19:45,939 --> 00:19:48,031 Now, then... Still didn't get the contract. 380 00:19:48,207 --> 00:19:51,972 Oh, but I will. And I'll get to see Trudy Beekman... 381 00:19:52,143 --> 00:19:55,475 try to explain this little barbecue to the co-op board. 382 00:19:55,646 --> 00:19:57,477 That smell takes me back. 383 00:19:57,648 --> 00:20:01,242 - Just like a Zambezi feast. Yeah, I'm kinda hungry. 384 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:05,011 - Is that weird? It would be weirder if you weren't. 385 00:20:05,187 --> 00:20:06,813 Well this torte's a winner, Malory. 386 00:20:06,988 --> 00:20:09,650 - What was the name again? - Kladdkaka. 387 00:20:17,863 --> 00:20:19,454 Stop it. 388 00:20:19,631 --> 00:20:21,997 I'm sorry. That... That's a funny word. 389 00:20:22,166 --> 00:20:25,965 Oh, I thought we were laughing at the dead people we set on fire. 390 00:20:28,938 --> 00:20:30,872 Um, sorry. 32807

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