All language subtitles for Search Party (2016) - S03E06 - In God We Trust (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 Ghost)_track3_[eng]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,260 --> 00:00:07,494 Hey, guys. It's me. 2 00:00:07,494 --> 00:00:09,862 So, tomorrow begins the trial of the millennium. 3 00:00:09,862 --> 00:00:12,865 It's pretty obvious that Gory Dory is guilty, 4 00:00:12,865 --> 00:00:15,368 so why are we even having this trial? 5 00:00:15,368 --> 00:00:16,736 She should be in jail! 6 00:00:16,736 --> 00:00:20,039 And not to be sexist, but she's pretty ugly, 7 00:00:20,039 --> 00:00:21,975 and she looks like a liberal. 8 00:00:21,975 --> 00:00:25,378 And I'll be interested to see if she ever shuts up! 9 00:00:40,126 --> 00:00:43,896 ♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪ 10 00:00:43,896 --> 00:00:47,066 So, this is what I was thinking for the first day. 11 00:00:47,066 --> 00:00:50,570 It's super professional, and it matches 12 00:00:50,570 --> 00:00:54,073 with this suit for Drew! 13 00:00:54,073 --> 00:00:56,442 Yeah, I just feel like, you know, we're gonna look like 14 00:00:56,442 --> 00:00:59,946 some sort of brother-sister cartoon freaks if we match. 15 00:00:59,946 --> 00:01:02,114 You know what, Cassidy? Why don't we take 16 00:01:02,114 --> 00:01:04,083 the responsibility off your shoulders 17 00:01:04,083 --> 00:01:06,052 of dressing us up like little dolls 18 00:01:06,052 --> 00:01:09,256 and focus on your opening statement, 19 00:01:09,256 --> 00:01:11,791 which I, for one, would love to hear. 20 00:01:11,791 --> 00:01:13,227 Mm. 21 00:01:13,227 --> 00:01:16,429 Well, this is about us coaching you, 22 00:01:16,429 --> 00:01:18,864 not the other way around. 23 00:01:18,864 --> 00:01:21,100 What's the big deal? 24 00:01:21,100 --> 00:01:23,036 Let's just hear your statement. 25 00:01:23,036 --> 00:01:24,871 Are you not prepared? 26 00:01:24,871 --> 00:01:27,107 Maybe I just don't like being put on the spot. 27 00:01:27,107 --> 00:01:28,608 Well, that's what court is. 28 00:01:28,608 --> 00:01:29,775 Right? 29 00:01:29,775 --> 00:01:32,046 So, come on. 30 00:01:32,046 --> 00:01:34,580 Practice. 31 00:01:34,580 --> 00:01:36,716 Fine. 32 00:01:36,716 --> 00:01:39,319 Okay. Oh, God. 33 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:43,489 So, imagine, if you will, 34 00:01:43,489 --> 00:01:46,893 a little girl on a playground... 35 00:01:46,893 --> 00:01:48,661 swinging on a swing. 36 00:01:48,661 --> 00:01:51,497 Okay, um, I'm sorry, I hate this. 37 00:01:51,497 --> 00:01:53,933 It's not cheesy, but it just feels like it is, 38 00:01:53,933 --> 00:01:55,903 because I feel like I'm under a microscope, 39 00:01:55,903 --> 00:01:57,939 in my own home. 40 00:01:59,205 --> 00:02:04,243 Um, and then there were these small changes in her persona-- 41 00:02:04,243 --> 00:02:06,613 Sorry, I'm just gonna take that line again. 42 00:02:06,613 --> 00:02:10,817 Um, and after that, I noticed changes in her person-- 43 00:02:10,817 --> 00:02:12,486 I'm sorry. I'm just in my head. 44 00:02:12,486 --> 00:02:14,353 I'm usually so amazing at learning lines. 45 00:02:14,353 --> 00:02:17,456 I just-- It's just very weird playing myself. 46 00:02:17,456 --> 00:02:20,294 Totally. But remember, you don't have to be perfect up there. 47 00:02:20,294 --> 00:02:21,327 You're a human being. 48 00:02:21,327 --> 00:02:23,095 You have every right to be nervous. 49 00:02:23,095 --> 00:02:26,333 Well, it kind of does have to be perfect, alright? 50 00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:28,468 So, you know, I guess I would just ask 51 00:02:28,468 --> 00:02:32,372 for you to just deal with the pressure. 52 00:02:32,372 --> 00:02:34,876 Okay. 53 00:02:35,943 --> 00:02:37,810 Hey, gang. 54 00:02:37,810 --> 00:02:41,014 We're gearing up for a long, hard battle, 55 00:02:41,014 --> 00:02:44,818 and the one gift we can give ourselves is sleep. 56 00:02:44,818 --> 00:02:46,386 Sleep. 57 00:02:46,386 --> 00:02:49,188 Uh, thanks, Bob. Have a good night. 58 00:02:49,188 --> 00:02:54,026 You know, my best friend died five years ago and... 59 00:02:54,026 --> 00:02:57,196 changed the course of my life. 60 00:02:57,196 --> 00:03:00,734 I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Bob. 61 00:03:00,734 --> 00:03:03,536 Life. Live it. 62 00:03:03,536 --> 00:03:05,238 Exploit it. 63 00:03:05,238 --> 00:03:07,707 Take it by the neck and choke it. 64 00:03:07,707 --> 00:03:11,211 You get out of this mess, you guys are gonna be so lucky. 65 00:03:11,211 --> 00:03:13,914 And when you are, do something. 66 00:03:13,914 --> 00:03:16,349 Change the world. 67 00:03:16,349 --> 00:03:22,422 Or just, you know, sit back and make some cash, at least. 68 00:03:22,422 --> 00:03:24,592 Good night. 69 00:03:32,265 --> 00:03:34,567 Charlie! Hi! 70 00:03:34,567 --> 00:03:35,835 Oh, I'm so sorry. 71 00:03:35,835 --> 00:03:37,371 Um, I'm a guest on Charlie Reeny's show. 72 00:03:37,371 --> 00:03:39,073 Do you know where I can find her? 73 00:03:39,073 --> 00:03:41,008 Elliott Goss. 74 00:03:41,008 --> 00:03:43,710 Hi! 75 00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:45,178 Oh, my goodness! 76 00:03:45,178 --> 00:03:46,579 Hello! 77 00:03:46,579 --> 00:03:48,047 How are you?! 78 00:03:48,047 --> 00:03:50,417 I'm glad you finally decided to come on my show. 79 00:03:50,417 --> 00:03:52,418 Oh, well, thank you so much for having me. 80 00:03:52,418 --> 00:03:54,186 I've seen enough clips of your show to know 81 00:03:54,186 --> 00:03:57,091 that you don't often have the gay coastal elite 82 00:03:57,091 --> 00:03:59,259 on as guests, so... 83 00:03:59,259 --> 00:04:00,893 I always like to ask before we start, 84 00:04:00,893 --> 00:04:02,462 are there any no-fly zones? 85 00:04:02,462 --> 00:04:04,263 I try and respect my guests' privacy. 86 00:04:04,263 --> 00:04:07,734 Yes. Um, I tend to be very quiet about my failures, 87 00:04:07,734 --> 00:04:10,603 so if you don't mind, please don't mention my book deal, 88 00:04:10,603 --> 00:04:11,938 which recently crumbled. 89 00:04:11,938 --> 00:04:14,074 I'm just here to discuss my friends, so... 90 00:04:14,074 --> 00:04:15,608 - Loud and clear. - Cool. 91 00:04:15,608 --> 00:04:17,710 Well, I haven't gotten into hair and makeup yet, 92 00:04:17,710 --> 00:04:19,612 so I'll see you on set. 93 00:04:19,612 --> 00:04:20,613 Okay. 94 00:04:20,613 --> 00:04:22,282 This is so fun! 95 00:04:22,282 --> 00:04:24,384 Thank y-- 96 00:04:24,384 --> 00:04:25,785 Where do I go? 97 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:29,389 Oh, my God. 98 00:04:29,389 --> 00:04:32,126 Gory Dory, are you a cold-blooded killer?! 99 00:04:32,126 --> 00:04:34,094 Drew, did she make you do it?! 100 00:04:34,094 --> 00:04:36,296 Get back! Nothing, nothing! 101 00:04:38,831 --> 00:04:40,935 Get away from me, you animals! 102 00:04:40,935 --> 00:04:42,336 Get back! 103 00:04:42,336 --> 00:04:45,605 I love you, Drew! 104 00:04:45,605 --> 00:04:48,974 Please rise. 105 00:04:48,974 --> 00:04:50,509 The United States District Court 106 00:04:50,509 --> 00:04:53,112 for the Southern District of New York is now in session. 107 00:04:53,112 --> 00:04:56,183 The Honorable Judge Xavier Hellerman presiding. 108 00:05:03,890 --> 00:05:07,493 Please be seated. 109 00:05:07,493 --> 00:05:09,296 This is the United States 110 00:05:09,296 --> 00:05:12,965 vs. Dory Sief and Drew Gardner. 111 00:05:12,965 --> 00:05:15,502 Counsel, are you ready to proceed? 112 00:05:15,502 --> 00:05:17,303 - Yes. - Yes. 113 00:05:17,303 --> 00:05:20,007 Deputy, let's invite the jury. 114 00:05:30,184 --> 00:05:32,052 Dory... 115 00:05:32,052 --> 00:05:34,355 I'm really scared. 116 00:05:41,194 --> 00:05:43,463 Before we begin, may I just relay to the court 117 00:05:43,463 --> 00:05:45,899 that I was recently diagnosed 118 00:05:45,899 --> 00:05:49,135 with a very rare autoimmune condition 119 00:05:49,135 --> 00:05:51,699 called Poppy Gillies disease, 120 00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:54,641 which gravely affects my metabolism. 121 00:05:54,641 --> 00:05:57,043 There may be times in this courtroom 122 00:05:57,043 --> 00:05:59,912 when I may be continuously snacking, 123 00:05:59,912 --> 00:06:02,584 as my life depends on it. 124 00:06:05,551 --> 00:06:09,591 I now ask the prosecution to give their opening statement. 125 00:06:11,758 --> 00:06:13,393 Good morning. 126 00:06:13,393 --> 00:06:15,662 Day one... 127 00:06:15,662 --> 00:06:19,399 of many, of many. 128 00:06:19,399 --> 00:06:21,201 Well, you know what? I'd like to start 129 00:06:21,201 --> 00:06:24,538 by painting you a little picture. 130 00:06:24,538 --> 00:06:26,673 It's a cool... 131 00:06:26,673 --> 00:06:30,610 breezy May afternoon. 132 00:06:30,610 --> 00:06:35,348 And a little girl sits on the swings, on the playground. 133 00:06:35,348 --> 00:06:38,751 Only this little girl doesn't feel like playing today. 134 00:06:38,751 --> 00:06:42,055 Something inside of her knows... 135 00:06:42,055 --> 00:06:44,257 that somewhere in Montreal, 136 00:06:44,257 --> 00:06:47,961 just five hours north of where she sits, 137 00:06:47,961 --> 00:06:51,398 her father, Keith Isaac Powell, 138 00:06:51,398 --> 00:06:53,766 is being violently murdered 139 00:06:53,766 --> 00:06:59,439 by a young, attractive, privileged couple. 140 00:06:59,439 --> 00:07:03,943 This man did not deserve to die, 141 00:07:03,943 --> 00:07:07,947 especially at the hands of a couple of Millennials 142 00:07:07,947 --> 00:07:11,117 looking for a thrill-kill! 143 00:07:11,117 --> 00:07:13,720 Dory Sief is an attractive woman, all right? 144 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:18,225 But with that attractiveness came sexual confidence. 145 00:07:18,225 --> 00:07:20,960 Mm. Sounds good. 146 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:25,164 But that turned into sexual deviance. 147 00:07:25,164 --> 00:07:30,002 She revealed to her... submissive boyfriend 148 00:07:30,002 --> 00:07:32,405 that she was having an affair 149 00:07:32,405 --> 00:07:36,143 and then coerced him to just dutifully abandon all morality 150 00:07:36,143 --> 00:07:38,645 just to satisfy her. 151 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,817 And we have undeniable proof 152 00:07:43,817 --> 00:07:47,019 against that privileged couple. 153 00:07:47,019 --> 00:07:49,154 Proof that they were in Montreal 154 00:07:49,154 --> 00:07:52,325 on the grounds where Keith was murdered. 155 00:07:52,325 --> 00:07:54,861 Hair samples, fingerprints, 156 00:07:54,861 --> 00:07:57,963 such extensive DNA from the crime scene. 157 00:07:57,963 --> 00:07:59,464 We have so much evidence, 158 00:07:59,464 --> 00:08:04,304 that, frankly, you're gonna get real tired of it. 159 00:08:04,304 --> 00:08:06,340 If we allow these two 160 00:08:06,340 --> 00:08:09,642 morally repugnant abusers of privilege off, 161 00:08:09,642 --> 00:08:11,210 well, you know what you're doing? 162 00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:14,347 You're letting an entire generation off. 163 00:08:14,347 --> 00:08:17,850 If we enable this entitlement 164 00:08:17,850 --> 00:08:20,788 to the degree of murder, 165 00:08:20,788 --> 00:08:23,055 I ask you, 166 00:08:23,055 --> 00:08:25,892 what kind of world are our children growing up in? 167 00:08:27,894 --> 00:08:29,863 And, more importantly... 168 00:08:31,665 --> 00:08:34,835 ...what kind of world do you want to live in? 169 00:08:34,835 --> 00:08:37,369 Oh, my God! 170 00:08:37,369 --> 00:08:40,441 - Can we get some paper towels! 171 00:08:42,776 --> 00:08:45,011 Mm-hmm. 172 00:08:45,011 --> 00:08:47,915 I, too, feel sick. 173 00:08:47,915 --> 00:08:48,982 - Oh. - Here. 174 00:08:48,982 --> 00:08:50,183 This is bad. 175 00:08:50,183 --> 00:08:52,519 This is so bad. 176 00:08:52,519 --> 00:08:53,987 - All right. - Ugh! 177 00:08:53,987 --> 00:08:55,990 Oh, God. I'm so sorry. 178 00:08:55,990 --> 00:08:57,892 Yeah, I'm so sorry. 179 00:08:57,892 --> 00:08:59,727 I'm so sorry. 180 00:09:02,095 --> 00:09:04,730 Uh, just want to say sorry. 181 00:09:04,730 --> 00:09:06,994 I'm so sorry. 182 00:09:06,994 --> 00:09:11,305 Now for the defense's opening statements. 183 00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,544 Okay. 184 00:09:25,285 --> 00:09:28,255 Good afternoon, everyone. 185 00:09:28,255 --> 00:09:31,291 Members of the jury... 186 00:09:31,291 --> 00:09:35,228 fellow attorneys, et al. Umm... 187 00:09:35,228 --> 00:09:38,965 In an unpredictable coincidence, 188 00:09:38,965 --> 00:09:41,868 my opening statement also began 189 00:09:41,868 --> 00:09:44,604 with imagery of a young girl on a playground. 190 00:09:44,604 --> 00:09:47,807 It was different, but not different enough 191 00:09:47,807 --> 00:09:52,379 for me to want to still do it, so... 192 00:09:52,379 --> 00:09:55,982 Um, here comes some improvisation, 193 00:09:55,982 --> 00:09:57,818 so... 194 00:09:57,818 --> 00:10:00,653 Hmph. 195 00:10:00,653 --> 00:10:06,793 This question is for the ladies in the room! 196 00:10:06,793 --> 00:10:08,794 Have you ever felt, 197 00:10:08,794 --> 00:10:11,465 while walking down the street at night, 198 00:10:11,465 --> 00:10:16,436 that there was someone behind you, watching you? 199 00:10:16,436 --> 00:10:19,105 I'm sure you've had this experience. 200 00:10:19,105 --> 00:10:25,579 And I know for a fact that my client Dory Sief has. 201 00:10:25,579 --> 00:10:28,582 She was trying to make the world a better place. 202 00:10:28,582 --> 00:10:31,078 She was trying to be a good person. 203 00:10:31,078 --> 00:10:33,920 She was actually trying to save her friend 204 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,455 Chantal Witherbottom, 205 00:10:35,455 --> 00:10:39,693 who, to her knowledge, was in serious trouble. 206 00:10:39,693 --> 00:10:42,795 Now, along the way, she met a man, 207 00:10:42,795 --> 00:10:46,432 "Keith Powell," whom she befriended. 208 00:10:46,432 --> 00:10:51,104 Mr. Powell developed feelings for my client, 209 00:10:51,104 --> 00:10:52,639 which she indulged 210 00:10:52,639 --> 00:10:56,443 with the permission of her understanding boyfriend. 211 00:10:56,443 --> 00:10:59,346 However, when the time came 212 00:10:59,346 --> 00:11:03,516 for Dory to end things with Keith, 213 00:11:03,516 --> 00:11:05,885 he did not take it well. 214 00:11:05,885 --> 00:11:09,021 He put a tracking device on her phone 215 00:11:09,021 --> 00:11:11,191 and followed her to Montreal 216 00:11:11,191 --> 00:11:14,861 in a dangerous fit. 217 00:11:14,861 --> 00:11:18,631 So it's obvious that the question then becomes 218 00:11:18,631 --> 00:11:21,835 who followed Keith to Montreal 219 00:11:21,835 --> 00:11:25,172 and committed this terrible crime? 220 00:11:25,172 --> 00:11:29,076 My client is not a murderer. 221 00:11:29,076 --> 00:11:31,344 She is a victim. 222 00:11:31,344 --> 00:11:33,513 She is a victim of circumstance, 223 00:11:33,513 --> 00:11:35,850 and she is a victim of the patriarchy, 224 00:11:35,850 --> 00:11:38,552 as are we all. 225 00:11:38,552 --> 00:11:41,821 Mr. Powell was an immoral predator 226 00:11:41,821 --> 00:11:44,391 who wanted to harass my client. 227 00:11:44,391 --> 00:11:47,527 And I'm proud of her for not retaliating 228 00:11:47,527 --> 00:11:50,229 in the face of that harassment. 229 00:11:50,229 --> 00:11:52,665 I'm proud of her for not even being aware 230 00:11:52,665 --> 00:11:54,434 of his murder at all. 231 00:11:54,434 --> 00:11:58,571 And I am proud of her 232 00:11:58,571 --> 00:12:02,442 for being a resilient, brave, 233 00:12:02,442 --> 00:12:05,412 modern woman. 234 00:12:05,412 --> 00:12:08,515 Thank you. 235 00:12:08,515 --> 00:12:13,120 And thank you... all. 236 00:12:22,830 --> 00:12:24,096 What? 237 00:12:24,096 --> 00:12:26,299 Camera. And we're back from commercial 238 00:12:26,299 --> 00:12:29,101 in 3, 2, 1. 239 00:12:29,101 --> 00:12:32,272 Hi. You're watching "Open Fire with Charlie Reeny." 240 00:12:32,272 --> 00:12:33,573 My name is Charlie Reeny, 241 00:12:33,573 --> 00:12:35,709 and I have a hot show for you today. 242 00:12:35,709 --> 00:12:38,611 It's the first day of trial in the Gory Dory murder case, 243 00:12:38,611 --> 00:12:40,580 and joining me today is lifelong friend 244 00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:42,815 of the murderous couple, defense witness 245 00:12:42,815 --> 00:12:45,585 and gay rights activist Elliott Goss. 246 00:12:45,585 --> 00:12:48,621 Uh, I wouldn't necessarily call myself that. 247 00:12:48,621 --> 00:12:50,557 I'm certainly a friend of the movement, 248 00:12:50,557 --> 00:12:52,792 but I've never been to a march in my life. 249 00:12:52,792 --> 00:12:55,462 So, Elliott, before we get into how you and your friends 250 00:12:55,462 --> 00:12:57,631 represent absolutely everything that's wrong 251 00:12:57,631 --> 00:12:59,098 - with young liberals... - Mm. 252 00:12:59,098 --> 00:13:02,604 ...I wanted to give you a chance to plug your book. 253 00:13:09,642 --> 00:13:11,144 Okay. 254 00:13:11,144 --> 00:13:12,645 What's shocking? 255 00:13:12,645 --> 00:13:14,481 The fact that you squandered the only chance you had 256 00:13:14,481 --> 00:13:17,016 at a real career by having writer's block, 257 00:13:17,016 --> 00:13:21,687 or the fact that my producer's niece can draw this well? 258 00:13:21,687 --> 00:13:22,822 I know what I was trying to say, 259 00:13:22,822 --> 00:13:25,458 and it's that that is not my book. 260 00:13:25,458 --> 00:13:27,594 - It looks just like you. - Well, it's not my book. 261 00:13:27,594 --> 00:13:29,696 And I didn't write-- It's-- It's-- 262 00:13:29,696 --> 00:13:31,733 Blond hair, blue eyes? 263 00:13:33,901 --> 00:13:34,768 My turn. 264 00:13:34,768 --> 00:13:38,105 Help me up, please. 265 00:13:38,105 --> 00:13:41,507 Ohh! Whew! 266 00:13:41,507 --> 00:13:44,444 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. 267 00:13:44,444 --> 00:13:46,846 Your Honor. 268 00:13:46,846 --> 00:13:51,118 Cassidy brought up some very interesting points 269 00:13:51,118 --> 00:13:52,952 that I'm sure resonate 270 00:13:52,952 --> 00:13:56,856 with many people around the world. 271 00:13:56,856 --> 00:14:01,294 The prosecution, well, what was she talking about? 272 00:14:01,294 --> 00:14:02,862 I tried to follow it. 273 00:14:02,862 --> 00:14:05,498 I don't know what she was saying. 274 00:14:05,498 --> 00:14:07,801 They both told stories, 275 00:14:07,801 --> 00:14:11,070 but I am gonna talk about the evidence, 276 00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:15,040 because if there's one thing I'm completely confident of 277 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:19,813 is that my client, Eddie, is innocent. 278 00:14:19,813 --> 00:14:22,215 Eddie?! Who's Eddie? 279 00:14:22,215 --> 00:14:23,549 Oh, uh-- 280 00:14:23,549 --> 00:14:25,485 It's-- Bob, it's Drew. 281 00:14:25,485 --> 00:14:27,154 Drew! Drew! 282 00:14:27,154 --> 00:14:29,389 Drew is innocent. 283 00:14:31,691 --> 00:14:33,928 Do you ever have one of those days? 284 00:15:10,831 --> 00:15:12,098 You cannot hire any women taller than me. 285 00:15:12,098 --> 00:15:14,268 End of discussion. She's 5'7". I'm 5'6". 286 00:15:14,268 --> 00:15:16,070 Do the fuckin' work. 287 00:15:16,070 --> 00:15:17,437 Are you okay? 288 00:15:17,437 --> 00:15:19,271 You look beat up. 289 00:15:19,271 --> 00:15:21,941 I'm sorry. I just didn't quite expect this from you, 290 00:15:21,941 --> 00:15:24,078 not as a guest in your own house. 291 00:15:24,078 --> 00:15:25,978 Babe, that's the game. 292 00:15:25,978 --> 00:15:27,781 Do you like watching polite TV? No. 293 00:15:27,781 --> 00:15:29,982 You like watching good TV. 294 00:15:29,982 --> 00:15:33,953 And we're back in 3, 2, 1. 295 00:15:33,953 --> 00:15:36,789 Welcome back to "Open Fire with Charlie Reeny." 296 00:15:36,789 --> 00:15:39,224 I'm your host, Charlie Reeny. And joining me today 297 00:15:39,224 --> 00:15:42,395 is the man who helped his friends bury a body, 298 00:15:42,395 --> 00:15:43,496 Elliott Goss. 299 00:15:44,965 --> 00:15:46,266 I'm sorry. 300 00:15:46,266 --> 00:15:49,069 - Did you fart? - What? 301 00:15:49,069 --> 00:15:51,104 Oh, my God! 302 00:15:51,104 --> 00:15:53,639 I can't believe that much smell came out of you. 303 00:15:53,639 --> 00:15:55,976 I mean, you are too tiny to make that much smell. 304 00:15:55,976 --> 00:15:56,909 It's sick! 305 00:15:56,909 --> 00:15:58,578 People, I didn't fart. 306 00:15:58,578 --> 00:16:00,746 Oh, God. Oh, God. 307 00:16:00,746 --> 00:16:03,016 Yeah, you guys-- Right? You, too? 308 00:16:03,016 --> 00:16:04,851 Yeah, even the producers can smell it. 309 00:16:04,851 --> 00:16:06,953 It's that disgusting. 310 00:16:06,953 --> 00:16:08,821 Did you-- Oh, my God. 311 00:16:08,821 --> 00:16:11,491 Did you eat an old ostrich egg? 312 00:16:11,491 --> 00:16:13,126 I don't fart! 313 00:16:13,126 --> 00:16:14,962 I don't fart! 314 00:16:16,896 --> 00:16:20,032 Your Honor, I would like to call the witness 315 00:16:20,032 --> 00:16:23,905 Portia Davenport to the stand, please. 316 00:16:49,263 --> 00:16:50,830 Raise your right hand. 317 00:16:50,830 --> 00:16:52,165 Do you swear or affirm 318 00:16:52,165 --> 00:16:54,200 that the testimony you are about to give 319 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:56,336 will be the truth, the whole truth, 320 00:16:56,336 --> 00:16:57,804 and nothing but the truth? 321 00:16:57,804 --> 00:16:58,905 Yes, I-I do. 322 00:16:58,905 --> 00:17:01,208 - Please be seated. - Okay. 323 00:17:04,110 --> 00:17:05,845 - Good morning. - Good morning. 324 00:17:05,845 --> 00:17:08,715 How is it that you, uh, know 325 00:17:08,715 --> 00:17:11,884 the defendants, Dory Sief and Drew Gardner? 326 00:17:11,884 --> 00:17:14,488 Um, well, I met Dory in college. 327 00:17:14,488 --> 00:17:16,756 And it's actually a funny story. 328 00:17:16,756 --> 00:17:18,190 It always makes me laugh. 329 00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:20,093 It's way too long to tell you guys, 330 00:17:20,093 --> 00:17:21,895 but I'll just say that it involves 331 00:17:21,895 --> 00:17:25,197 me locking myself out of my dorm room totally naked 332 00:17:25,197 --> 00:17:28,000 and then having to wait in Dory's dorm room 333 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,738 until someone unlocked mine. 334 00:17:31,738 --> 00:17:34,407 And, actually, that is the entire story. 335 00:17:34,407 --> 00:17:36,443 And then she met Drew, 336 00:17:36,443 --> 00:17:38,278 and we all became good buds. 337 00:17:38,278 --> 00:17:39,846 But they weren't very good buds 338 00:17:39,846 --> 00:17:44,284 on the night of May 26th, now, were they? 339 00:17:44,284 --> 00:17:45,585 No. 340 00:17:45,585 --> 00:17:48,421 In a testimony that you made to police, 341 00:17:48,421 --> 00:17:49,856 you stated, 342 00:17:49,856 --> 00:17:53,125 "I stopped dry-humping with the Frenchman 343 00:17:53,125 --> 00:17:56,362 and went downstairs to get a glass of water. 344 00:17:56,362 --> 00:17:59,433 When I got to the kitchen, I discovered my friends 345 00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:03,970 stuffing Keith's body into a zebra-print suitcase. 346 00:18:03,970 --> 00:18:07,774 They convinced me to bury the suitcase with them. 347 00:18:07,774 --> 00:18:10,877 I still have nightmares every night." 348 00:18:10,877 --> 00:18:14,381 Do you still stand by this statement, Portia? 349 00:18:14,381 --> 00:18:15,615 Yes, I do. 350 00:18:15,615 --> 00:18:18,151 Now, you've known Dory intimately 351 00:18:18,151 --> 00:18:21,054 for a long time, would you say? 352 00:18:21,054 --> 00:18:23,423 How would you describe her? 353 00:18:23,423 --> 00:18:26,426 Well, my answer is kind of changing lately. 354 00:18:26,426 --> 00:18:31,131 Um, but if you had asked me before all this, 355 00:18:31,131 --> 00:18:32,766 oh, man. 356 00:18:32,766 --> 00:18:35,169 I would say Dory is so nice. 357 00:18:35,169 --> 00:18:37,304 And she's such a good friend 358 00:18:37,304 --> 00:18:40,740 and very creative and introspective. 359 00:18:40,740 --> 00:18:45,010 But how would you describe her now? 360 00:18:45,010 --> 00:18:48,848 I don't really know what's real 361 00:18:48,848 --> 00:18:51,451 and what's not real with her. 362 00:18:51,451 --> 00:18:54,654 After this whole era, it's sort of my opinion 363 00:18:54,654 --> 00:18:56,456 that she really resents 364 00:18:56,456 --> 00:19:00,493 that she just doesn't have a sense of self. 365 00:19:00,493 --> 00:19:02,361 And now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, 366 00:19:02,361 --> 00:19:05,931 I didn't ever want to even look for Chantal. 367 00:19:05,931 --> 00:19:09,502 I just did it because I loved my friend, 368 00:19:09,502 --> 00:19:14,674 and I was very worried about her mental health, 369 00:19:14,674 --> 00:19:18,512 and I wanted to be a good friend. 370 00:19:18,512 --> 00:19:20,513 But then it kept getting bigger and bigger, 371 00:19:20,513 --> 00:19:23,483 and she just dragged me into these problems 372 00:19:23,483 --> 00:19:27,720 that I don't think I deserved to be dragged into. 373 00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:30,522 And then Keith dies, and it's like 374 00:19:30,522 --> 00:19:33,793 she could have kept me out of it, and she just didn't. 375 00:19:33,793 --> 00:19:37,997 I just think it's horrible of her, and I think that... 376 00:19:37,997 --> 00:19:40,400 she doesn't care about me and she never did, 377 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,735 or something like that. 378 00:19:42,735 --> 00:19:45,205 What a betrayal. 379 00:19:45,205 --> 00:19:47,874 You thin-lipped, baby-killing, 380 00:19:47,874 --> 00:19:49,542 under-funded pride parade! 381 00:19:49,542 --> 00:19:52,878 You book-burning gas chamber with penis envy! 382 00:19:52,878 --> 00:19:54,481 - Commie! - Fascist! 383 00:19:54,481 --> 00:19:56,316 - Faggot!! 384 00:19:56,316 --> 00:19:58,052 Whore! 385 00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:02,689 Well, that's all the time we have today 386 00:20:02,689 --> 00:20:04,891 on "Open Fire with Charlie Reeny." 387 00:20:04,891 --> 00:20:06,492 I'm Charlie Reeny reminding you 388 00:20:06,492 --> 00:20:09,730 that the Second Amendment is never going away. 389 00:20:13,067 --> 00:20:16,035 And we're out. 390 00:20:16,035 --> 00:20:19,038 That was incredible. That's the most fun I've ever had in my life. 391 00:20:19,038 --> 00:20:20,740 - You're a genius. - No, no, no. 392 00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:23,209 You are a genius. 393 00:20:23,209 --> 00:20:26,511 Portia, is there anything that maybe you would like to add 394 00:20:26,511 --> 00:20:31,218 that you think might be helpful for the jury to hear today? 395 00:20:31,218 --> 00:20:33,753 Yes. 396 00:20:33,753 --> 00:20:36,055 I would like to add... 397 00:20:36,055 --> 00:20:38,758 that while I was coerced into burying the body, 398 00:20:38,758 --> 00:20:41,528 I sensed in her no remorse. 399 00:20:41,528 --> 00:20:43,263 She was hostile 400 00:20:43,263 --> 00:20:47,200 and, to be frank, full of vitriol. 401 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,569 Wow. So very traumatic. 402 00:20:49,569 --> 00:20:53,307 Your Honor, I-- I have no further questions. 403 00:20:55,175 --> 00:20:56,742 Miss Davenport. 404 00:20:56,742 --> 00:20:58,644 - Hi. - Hi. 405 00:20:58,644 --> 00:21:00,114 Can I ask you a question? 406 00:21:00,114 --> 00:21:02,415 Do you wear contact lenses? 407 00:21:02,415 --> 00:21:03,449 I do. 408 00:21:03,449 --> 00:21:05,885 And what is your prescription in each eye? 409 00:21:05,885 --> 00:21:09,122 My left eye is a six, 410 00:21:09,122 --> 00:21:11,624 and my right eye, I believe, is a seven. 411 00:21:11,624 --> 00:21:15,327 Well, I'd like to do a little eye test with you. 412 00:21:15,327 --> 00:21:18,632 - You want take me-- these out? - Yeah, take your contacts out. 413 00:21:18,632 --> 00:21:20,733 Take your time. 414 00:21:20,733 --> 00:21:22,302 - Okay. - Excuse me! 415 00:21:22,302 --> 00:21:24,471 - No, shh! - Miss Diamond and Miss Sief, 416 00:21:24,471 --> 00:21:26,906 you're distracting your own defense. 417 00:21:26,906 --> 00:21:29,910 I am so sorry, Your Honor. 418 00:21:29,910 --> 00:21:31,979 Um, Bob? 419 00:21:31,979 --> 00:21:35,482 Oh. What? 420 00:21:35,482 --> 00:21:36,982 I know, but... 421 00:21:36,982 --> 00:21:39,652 I want you to sit down and rest, 422 00:21:39,652 --> 00:21:40,787 and I'm gonna take over. 423 00:21:40,787 --> 00:21:42,522 Okay. 424 00:21:42,522 --> 00:21:47,493 I am so sorry for this disruption, everyone. 425 00:21:47,493 --> 00:21:50,362 But I would just like to ask the court stenographer 426 00:21:50,362 --> 00:21:54,166 if you could please read back Portia's earlier statement 427 00:21:54,166 --> 00:21:57,170 regarding my client's behavior toward her 428 00:21:57,170 --> 00:21:59,504 the night of the alleged burial. 429 00:21:59,504 --> 00:22:02,141 "While I was coerced into burying the body, 430 00:22:02,141 --> 00:22:05,645 I sensed in her no remorse. She was hostile 431 00:22:05,645 --> 00:22:09,316 and, to be frank, full of vitriol." 432 00:22:09,316 --> 00:22:11,685 Mm. 433 00:22:11,685 --> 00:22:14,021 Mm. 434 00:22:14,021 --> 00:22:17,291 That's-- That's a word. 435 00:22:17,291 --> 00:22:19,125 I need to use that word more often. 436 00:22:19,125 --> 00:22:20,794 Do you use that word a lot? 437 00:22:20,794 --> 00:22:22,361 Yeah, I... 438 00:22:22,361 --> 00:22:24,698 personally feel like it is just very important 439 00:22:24,698 --> 00:22:27,299 as a woman to have a diverse vocabulary. 440 00:22:27,299 --> 00:22:30,337 Would you be a dear and would you define it 441 00:22:30,337 --> 00:22:33,039 for some of the members of the jury 442 00:22:33,039 --> 00:22:37,044 who might not be very familiar with it? 443 00:22:37,044 --> 00:22:39,745 Mm-hmm. I can. 444 00:22:39,745 --> 00:22:41,981 It's, um... 445 00:22:41,981 --> 00:22:44,684 Uh-- Well, it would be, like-- 446 00:22:44,684 --> 00:22:47,219 V-Vitriol, the definition of vitriol. 447 00:22:47,219 --> 00:22:50,223 It is something that you are very full of. 448 00:22:50,223 --> 00:22:51,657 It's a quality. 449 00:22:51,657 --> 00:22:54,193 It's a-- And it's a negative quality. 450 00:22:54,193 --> 00:22:56,930 Wow. Could you put it in a sentence for me? 451 00:22:56,930 --> 00:22:58,031 Mm-hmm. Yes. 452 00:22:58,031 --> 00:22:59,766 Um, let me think. 453 00:22:59,766 --> 00:23:01,868 Uh, I have one. 454 00:23:01,868 --> 00:23:05,205 Um, "Dory was full of vitriol." 455 00:23:05,205 --> 00:23:07,970 Oh, new sentence, please. 456 00:23:10,510 --> 00:23:14,246 Some people are always full of vitriol. 457 00:23:14,246 --> 00:23:19,018 Mm, that's a suspiciously similar sentence. 458 00:23:19,018 --> 00:23:20,587 You know, and it kind of makes me wonder 459 00:23:20,587 --> 00:23:25,358 who would use a word like "vitriol." 460 00:23:25,358 --> 00:23:28,128 Dare I say it was coached into you? 461 00:23:28,128 --> 00:23:29,929 Is that true? 462 00:23:29,929 --> 00:23:32,466 What? No. I don't know. 463 00:23:32,466 --> 00:23:35,134 I didn't, like, come up with that word. 464 00:23:35,134 --> 00:23:37,204 But I could tell you probably what it means. 465 00:23:37,204 --> 00:23:38,571 This feels very mean! 466 00:23:38,571 --> 00:23:41,273 Yeah, I would be interested to go back and see 467 00:23:41,273 --> 00:23:44,578 how often in the transcript of your confession 468 00:23:44,578 --> 00:23:48,281 with the police, did you come up with the details 469 00:23:48,281 --> 00:23:51,151 or did the police get really creative? 470 00:23:51,151 --> 00:23:52,552 Better question, 471 00:23:52,552 --> 00:23:54,454 is your baby-blue existence in this courtroom 472 00:23:54,454 --> 00:23:57,123 due to the fact that you were coerced by the police 473 00:23:57,123 --> 00:23:59,426 into agreeing with the fabricated lies? 474 00:23:59,426 --> 00:24:01,327 - Objection. - Sustained. 475 00:24:01,327 --> 00:24:03,763 That's okay. Don't worry, Polly. 476 00:24:03,763 --> 00:24:07,767 I'm finished, because it's clear to everyone in this courtroom 477 00:24:07,767 --> 00:24:09,136 what's going on right about now. 478 00:24:09,136 --> 00:24:12,138 You coached her. 479 00:24:12,138 --> 00:24:14,475 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 480 00:24:34,027 --> 00:24:35,862 Mom! 481 00:24:35,862 --> 00:24:37,997 Help! Mommy! 482 00:24:42,502 --> 00:24:45,139 ♪ Did I ♪ 483 00:24:45,139 --> 00:24:46,840 ♪ Hear you screaming? ♪ 484 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,310 Mommy, help me, please! Mommy! ♪ Did I see ♪ 485 00:24:50,310 --> 00:24:53,046 ♪ You dancing? ♪ 486 00:24:53,046 --> 00:24:55,482 ♪ Did you see ♪ 487 00:24:55,482 --> 00:24:58,185 ♪ That boy crying? ♪ 488 00:24:58,185 --> 00:25:00,853 ♪ I saw him ♪ 489 00:25:00,853 --> 00:25:03,357 ♪ I'm not laughing ♪ 34844

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