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The following
presentation is rated 18A.
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This presentation deals
with mature subject matter
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00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:12,364
and contains scenes
with coarse language,
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nudity, sexuality, and violence.
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Viewer discretion is advised.
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00:00:21,195 --> 00:00:21,755
What Would Sal do? [CAR HONKING]
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00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:22,757
[TIRES SCREECHING]
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00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:25,502
Fuck, Vince!
9
00:00:25,590 --> 00:00:27,070
There was some
nerve damage.
10
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,197
So you may never
be able to achieve
erection again.
11
00:00:28,289 --> 00:00:28,849
Thanks a lot.
12
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:30,856
I wanted to be
a painter.
13
00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:34,298
Boom!
14
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:38,208
They found a
lump on my breast.
15
00:00:38,299 --> 00:00:40,779
This is the chance for
Sal to perform the
miracle of miracles.
16
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,216
It's a sign.
17
00:00:42,303 --> 00:00:44,223
You need to pray.
Now more than ever.
18
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:47,533
I'm not perfect and
I'm human, right?
19
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:49,272
That's right.
And so is Jesus. Come on!
20
00:00:49,919 --> 00:00:51,659
Heal me
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00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:54,137
with your hands.Oh, my God.
22
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:55,358
Touch your
mother's breast, Sal.What are you talking about?
23
00:00:55,446 --> 00:00:56,446
This is nuts, and...
24
00:00:57,274 --> 00:00:58,624
I'm done.
25
00:00:58,710 --> 00:00:59,450
Right,
I'm fucking done.
26
00:01:01,496 --> 00:01:02,756
[POURS DRINK]
27
00:01:14,335 --> 00:01:15,765
YOUNG MARIA: Pregnant?
28
00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,818
That's impossible.What?
29
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:18,993
Well it is, Maria,
isn't it?
30
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,249
Well, of course, Luke, but...
31
00:01:20,341 --> 00:01:23,821
It's definitely weird.
32
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:24,609
How so? Do you mind if I ask
the questions?
33
00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:25,563
Yeah, of course.
34
00:01:27,043 --> 00:01:27,743
How so?
35
00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:31,349
Your hymen is
completely intact.
36
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,310
It's like the Berlin Wall.
37
00:01:34,485 --> 00:01:36,225
If I didn't know better,
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00:01:36,313 --> 00:01:36,973
I'd say you were
still a virgin.
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00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,522
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
40
00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,024
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
41
00:03:02,617 --> 00:03:06,097
Come on, baby. I need you
to touch my breasts.
42
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,406
What are you waiting for?
Touch my titties, honey.
43
00:03:10,625 --> 00:03:12,365
Uh, no. Do it, Sal.
44
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:13,983
Touch my breasts.
45
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:15,633
Okay. Thank you,
I'm all done.
46
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:16,757
Lovely, excellent.
47
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:23,940
You get anything, Vince?
48
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,377
No, no. Nothing?
49
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,557
No, not even a semi.
50
00:03:28,643 --> 00:03:30,213
I just feel bad after
all the shit I put you
through, you know.
51
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,167
I don't want you to
be mad at me anymore.
52
00:03:31,254 --> 00:03:32,174
I know you're
making an effort.
53
00:03:32,255 --> 00:03:32,945
I'm trying. Yeah.
54
00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:45,234
[SNORING]
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00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:48,272
Wakey, wakey.
Eggs and bakey
and pear slices.
56
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:50,488
They help
keep you regular.
57
00:03:50,578 --> 00:03:51,188
I haven't heard you poop
in a while.
You need more fiber.
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00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,461
[GROANING] Come on, Sal. You need
to eat something.
59
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,203
I'm not hungry, Ma.
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00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:04,025
Plus, I need you to
go to the church today
61
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,593
to take some food
for a bake sale.
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00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,900
I told ya. I'm done
with all that.
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00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:10,376
It's not about that, Sal.
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00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,637
It's about raising funds
for a leaky pipe
65
00:04:12,730 --> 00:04:14,730
that caused damage
to a statue of Mary
at the church.
66
00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:17,739
[SLURPING]
67
00:04:19,868 --> 00:04:21,828
How can you cook today?
68
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:24,133
Same as I cook every day.
69
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:25,180
Yeah, but every day
you're not waiting to hear
about a lump in your...
70
00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,089
It's all I can
think about, Ma.
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00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:32,181
If I let worry
ruin my life...
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00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,532
Look, it's better to
keep busy.
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00:04:34,491 --> 00:04:35,231
Sal,
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00:04:37,494 --> 00:04:39,804
you remember how
I said that I
never had sex?
75
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,538
Yeah.
76
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,550
Well, I did.
77
00:04:45,937 --> 00:04:46,807
With your ZioJoe.
78
00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,033
ZioJoe's my dad?
79
00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:52,285
No. No, this is
a new thing.
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00:04:53,423 --> 00:04:54,863
How new?
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00:04:54,946 --> 00:04:56,816
Like in the
last few weeks.
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00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,515
You had sex with
your sister's husband?
83
00:04:58,602 --> 00:05:00,822
Ha! Her husband.
[SCOFFS]
84
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:01,649
What d'you mean, "Ha"?
85
00:05:04,782 --> 00:05:06,132
ZioJoe and I used to date.
86
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,957
We were in love.
87
00:05:09,047 --> 00:05:10,827
But we were
saving ourselves.
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00:05:10,919 --> 00:05:12,919
And then when I got
pregnant with you,
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00:05:13,008 --> 00:05:13,968
he thought that
I cheated on him.
90
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,266
And so then ZiaLeena,
she just...
91
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,280
Yeah, just swooped in
and stole him from me.
92
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,021
Aw, Ma.
93
00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:24,405
I'm sorry.
94
00:05:24,498 --> 00:05:25,278
Yeah. Me, too.
95
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,890
So, will you go to the
church later today?
96
00:05:31,461 --> 00:05:33,721
Yeah.
97
00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:36,161
Oh, and I'll need a ride
to my doctor's
appointment later on, too.
98
00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:38,685
Sure.
99
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:43,562
Could you do me
a favor though?
100
00:05:43,647 --> 00:05:46,297
Can you ask ZioJoe if
he ever jerked off into
your underwear?
101
00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:48,295
Oh, Jesus. No.
102
00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:51,656
Like when you were
dating, Ma.
103
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:53,525
Just ask him.
104
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,267
FATHER LUKE: [CHUCKLING] No.
105
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,486
No. God's not
punishing you, Sal.
106
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:02,096
No, he's punishing the ones
I love, because I actually
went along with this bullshit.
107
00:06:02,187 --> 00:06:04,407
My mother's lump,
Vince's thingy.
108
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:06,324
Me not getting
the Bishop's job. Huh?
109
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:08,719
The Bishop's job...
Ah, never mind.
110
00:06:10,892 --> 00:06:11,892
Sal...Yeah?
111
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,636
What's going on
with Vince?
112
00:06:15,723 --> 00:06:16,383
His dick doesn't
work anymore.
113
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:18,330
Thank you.
114
00:06:20,075 --> 00:06:22,945
But what if God isn't
punishing you,
115
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:25,914
but instead, he's
testing your faith like
he did with Abraham?
116
00:06:25,994 --> 00:06:27,784
Lincoln? No, the other Abraham.
117
00:06:27,865 --> 00:06:29,735
I only know one.
118
00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:32,094
God asked Abraham to
sacrifice his son, Isaac,
to prove his faith.
119
00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:34,524
Whoa! So, just as he was
about to,
120
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:37,351
an Angel of God came
down and stopped him,
121
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:39,270
because he had proven
his faith in the Lord.
122
00:06:41,183 --> 00:06:41,843
Wow.
123
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:45,581
The Almighty sounds
like a fuckin' asshole.
124
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,886
Nope. Yeah.
125
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:50,322
Yeah, I mean this is just
more proof that I'm not
the Second Coming, okay?
126
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,500
I mean, I'm not perfect,
but that guy?
127
00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:54,937
Sounds like a
fuckin' cock knocker.
128
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:59,459
Point is he
tests people.
129
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:01,679
Okay, so what do you want me
to do with this test? Huh?
What do you want me to do?
130
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:04,769
The one thing you
refuse to. Pray.
131
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,769
What if God knows
you don't believe,
so he's challenging you?
132
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,389
He's challenging all of us.
133
00:07:13,607 --> 00:07:15,127
[MACHINES BEEPING]
134
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:26,972
You're awake. What do you remember?
135
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,842
I don't... What happened?
136
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,668
You were in a car crash.
137
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:33,836
Oh, my Gosh.
Did I hurt anybody?
138
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,541
Am I okay?
139
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:36,759
You... You have some
facial lacerations
140
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:39,457
and possibly whiplash.
What do you remember?
141
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:41,066
Nothing. Like, nothing nothing?
142
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:44,376
The last thing I remember is
leaving my house this morning.
143
00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,944
DOCTOR:
You took quite a bump.
144
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:47,770
You might have
some brain trauma.
145
00:07:47,858 --> 00:07:49,688
Memory loss
is not unusual.
146
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,383
Is it permanent?
147
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,431
Uh, only time
will tell.
148
00:08:01,785 --> 00:08:02,865
Okay, fine.
Let's give it a shot.
149
00:08:05,049 --> 00:08:06,309
This is weird.
150
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:08,711
What do I even do?
151
00:08:10,315 --> 00:08:13,835
Do I got to
talk out loud, or...
152
00:08:13,928 --> 00:08:15,838
I mean, you can probably
hear my thoughts
though, right? So...
153
00:08:16,844 --> 00:08:17,804
Okay, let's do it.
154
00:08:25,592 --> 00:08:29,332
Hey, sorry, buddy.
Place is taken, champ.
155
00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:32,561
But...
Just came in here
to use the church.
156
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,382
Well, I was here first,
buddy. So, out!
157
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:39,044
Can't I sit
somewhere else?
158
00:08:39,127 --> 00:08:40,077
[IMITATING MAN]
"Can't I sit somewhere else?"
159
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:40,961
No, you can't.
160
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:45,264
All right. Fine, buddy.
You know what?
161
00:08:45,350 --> 00:08:46,870
You want the place.
You can have it.
I'm done with it.
162
00:08:47,439 --> 00:08:48,219
Sal?
163
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:51,013
Sal, it is you!
164
00:08:51,095 --> 00:08:51,835
Hey. It's Peter.
165
00:08:54,098 --> 00:08:55,538
The, Peter...
I'm the homeless guy.
166
00:08:56,884 --> 00:08:57,364
You were with
your friend.
167
00:08:59,930 --> 00:09:02,280
I tried to angrily
suck your cock in
front of the Luxe Burger
168
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:03,627
and then you bought me
a club sandwich?
169
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:04,237
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
170
00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:08,203
Hey, man. What're you
doing here, huh?
171
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:10,066
I came in here to pray
that I would find you.
172
00:09:11,115 --> 00:09:11,935
Here you are.
173
00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:13,864
Really?
174
00:09:13,944 --> 00:09:15,294
I've come
a long way, Sal.
175
00:09:15,380 --> 00:09:17,820
I moved back to chemmi...
176
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:19,815
I, uh, reconnected
with my family,
I got a job,
177
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,557
and an apartment.
178
00:09:21,648 --> 00:09:24,298
All thanks to you. Come on.
179
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,259
You did what no one
else could.
180
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:28,178
You know, lots of people
bought me lunch,
181
00:09:28,263 --> 00:09:30,443
or gave me money, or
182
00:09:30,526 --> 00:09:33,306
purchased sexual
favors off me, but
183
00:09:33,398 --> 00:09:35,098
you're the only one
who jerked me off.
184
00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:37,403
Well, I didn't
jerk you off. No, you didn't jerk me.
185
00:09:37,489 --> 00:09:39,489
You facilitated,
so I'm very nervous.
186
00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:42,021
Just so excited
to see you.
187
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:45,981
It made me feel
like a human again.
188
00:09:46,063 --> 00:09:48,413
Getting jerked off and...
189
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,330
It was fun.
You know, it...
190
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,026
Made me realize
life was worth
living again.
191
00:09:55,029 --> 00:09:55,989
It was a miracle.
192
00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:00,733
No. [CLEARING THROAT]
193
00:10:00,817 --> 00:10:01,907
No. There's no
such things as miracles.
194
00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:03,776
Sal, where are you going?
195
00:10:05,343 --> 00:10:06,873
I wanted to thank you.Well, you just did.
196
00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:07,874
No.
197
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:09,865
Not like that.
198
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,697
I really wanted
to thank you.
199
00:10:15,789 --> 00:10:17,489
Wanted to show you how much
you changed my life.
200
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:20,319
Please...
201
00:10:21,446 --> 00:10:22,096
Just...
202
00:10:23,753 --> 00:10:24,973
Let me have this moment.
203
00:10:33,328 --> 00:10:35,068
What happened to
the other place?
Did it close down?
204
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:37,326
'Cause I was hoping we could
go there for old times sake.
205
00:10:37,419 --> 00:10:39,029
No, I can't, uh, get
serviced there
anymore. It's uh...
206
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:42,474
It's complicated.
207
00:10:42,554 --> 00:10:44,564
Okay. You know what? I'm not really
in the mood today, man.
208
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,384
I just, I'm not. So...
209
00:10:46,471 --> 00:10:47,651
Thank you, though.
But I'm gonna take off.
210
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:50,394
Hey, come on.
211
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:53,035
How often do you
get the chance to thank the
guy that saved your life?
212
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:53,830
To complete that circle.
213
00:10:56,568 --> 00:10:57,868
This... This'll mean
the world to me.
214
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,880
What a difference
a couple of
months makes, huh?
215
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:08,229
Remember the first time
we did this? [CHUCKLING]
216
00:11:08,319 --> 00:11:10,279
I was so nervous.
217
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:11,925
I had no idea
what to do.
218
00:11:12,019 --> 00:11:13,849
Now look at me.
Like an old pro.
219
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:16,554
Yeah, except
for the talking. Sorry. Right.
220
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,112
Not enjoying yourself.
Something wrong?
221
00:11:19,809 --> 00:11:20,549
Just a little distracted,
that's all.
222
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:22,331
By what?
223
00:11:25,597 --> 00:11:26,947
Would you mind turning
around, maybe?
224
00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:29,044
Whatever gets
the job done.
225
00:11:29,123 --> 00:11:31,213
Um, actually I'm not sure that
I'm comfortable with that.
226
00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:34,822
Why? Well,
227
00:11:34,911 --> 00:11:36,651
if she turns around,
then the hand on you
228
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:37,999
is gonna be on me
and the hand on me
229
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:40,348
is gonna be on you and...
230
00:11:40,438 --> 00:11:41,048
You see what
I'm saying?
231
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:43,436
No, I don't see
what you're saying.
232
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:47,053
Gonna be like our
dicks are touching.
233
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:49,531
Are you...
Are you kidding me?
234
00:11:49,621 --> 00:11:51,621
Not long ago, you were
fully fuckin' homeless
235
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,451
ready to suck my
dick for a sandwich,
236
00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,578
now you're worried
about her switching hands
during a hand job?
237
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:02,551
I'm... I'm sorry.
238
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,330
Forget about it.
239
00:12:06,421 --> 00:12:08,121
I don't know why
I make things so weird.
240
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:10,600
Guess I just wanted
everything to be perfect.
241
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,210
I mean, what's
a little penis touch
between friends, right?
242
00:12:16,300 --> 00:12:17,430
We weren't gonna
touch penises.
243
00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:21,567
Yeah, we were. No, we fuckin' weren't!
244
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:22,263
That's really
not important.
245
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,137
Let me make it
up to you.
246
00:12:28,225 --> 00:12:29,655
No, no.
I'm not gonna... No, I don't want...
247
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,139
I'm not gonna take
no for an answer.
248
00:12:33,535 --> 00:12:34,965
I know the perfect way
I can make this up to you.
249
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:36,058
No, I don't...
250
00:12:36,146 --> 00:12:38,186
[WOMAN JERKING]
251
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,239
Life's funny,
isn't it, Sal?
252
00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:42,594
One minute you're
down in the dumps,
253
00:12:42,674 --> 00:12:43,764
next minute, you're
king of mountain.
254
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,550
Mmm-hmm.
255
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,585
You know, I owe you
a lot, Sal, but
256
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:50,290
I also owe
a lot to prayer.
257
00:12:50,378 --> 00:12:51,378
Peter, could you
not talk about...
258
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:52,766
You really
helped me out.
259
00:12:52,859 --> 00:12:54,639
You got my engines
revving again.
260
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:56,430
But it's not till
I sat down and
261
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,174
really talked to
God that I
262
00:12:58,255 --> 00:12:59,555
started to turn
my life around.
263
00:12:59,648 --> 00:13:01,218
Peter, just...Now look at me.
264
00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:03,352
Here, about to spray
potential mes
265
00:13:03,434 --> 00:13:05,354
all over this lovely
angel's hand.
266
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,566
Just watch the bracelet.
My kid made it for me.
267
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:09,136
Okay, could you both
stop talking, please?
268
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:11,013
Right. Quiet.
269
00:13:11,094 --> 00:13:12,574
[KNOCKING AT DOOR] POLICEMAN: Hands up,
dicks down!
270
00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:13,751
Ah, fuck!
271
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,186
Hey, Sal.
272
00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,492
Hey, what's going on?
273
00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:18,278
Okay, wait.
One second.
274
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:20,282
Almost there, almost.
275
00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:23,064
Boom goes the dynamite.
That was it.
276
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:24,720
What's with you and
the fucking cops, man?
277
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,244
I don't know.
I don't know.
278
00:13:34,422 --> 00:13:36,822
So, how'd we do?
279
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,513
There's not enough money
to fix the leaky pipe.
280
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,910
Oh.
281
00:13:39,993 --> 00:13:41,343
I'm sure things
will turn around.
282
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:43,389
Does it say that
in the Bible?
283
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:44,784
Because that's how
bad things are.
284
00:13:44,867 --> 00:13:47,647
[CLEARING THROAT] Well,
aren't we a negative Nancy?
285
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:48,739
I don't know what
you're losing faster,
286
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:49,698
money or parishioners.
287
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:53,475
Do you know what the heart
of the Catholic church is?
288
00:13:54,181 --> 00:13:55,751
Faith.
289
00:13:55,835 --> 00:13:57,655
Realism has no place
in the Catholic church.
290
00:13:57,749 --> 00:13:58,529
I'll say.
291
00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:01,927
That's not what I meant.
292
00:14:02,015 --> 00:14:04,145
What I meant was, our God
is the God of the impossible.
293
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:05,668
You must have faith.
294
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,114
Speaking of faith,
295
00:14:09,196 --> 00:14:10,976
a letter from
the Archbishop's
office came today.
296
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:13,547
What? Today?
Why didn't you tell me?
297
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:14,235
I've been
waiting for this.
298
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:16,771
See? You must
have faith.
299
00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:35,792
Shit.
300
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,565
[PHONE RINGING]
301
00:14:39,748 --> 00:14:41,658
Hello? SAL: Yeah. Hey, Ma, hey.
302
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,010
Sal, where are you?
303
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,669
Um...
304
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,234
You, uh, you remember
that homeless guy?
305
00:14:48,322 --> 00:14:49,802
Yeah.
The first guy I helped.
306
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,799
Yeah. Yeah, well his name is Peter
307
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:52,941
I ran into him today at
the church today and
guess what, Ma?
308
00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:55,682
This is amazing, okay?
The guy...
309
00:14:55,764 --> 00:14:57,114
Has turned his
whole life around.
310
00:14:57,200 --> 00:14:59,460
That's great.
311
00:14:59,550 --> 00:15:01,730
Yeah.
The best part is he says
it's all because of me.
312
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:03,253
Oh, wow.
I am so proud of you.
313
00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,375
So proud.
314
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,430
Okay. Well, I'm gonna
need you to remember,
315
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:09,426
you know,
how proud you are
for a minute here, okay?
316
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:12,088
Where are you?
317
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,224
Well, he insisted
on thanking me, Ma.
318
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:16,605
He insisted
on thanking me.
319
00:15:16,698 --> 00:15:19,528
What was I supposed
to do? All right?
320
00:15:19,614 --> 00:15:20,834
Please tell me
you're not in jail again.
321
00:15:24,619 --> 00:15:26,709
Vince is on his way
to pick you up, okay?
322
00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:27,445
He's gonna come take
you to the doctor.
323
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:29,710
And everything's
gonna be okay, Ma.
324
00:15:31,104 --> 00:15:32,934
Yeah.
325
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,499
You'll come by and
see me right after?
326
00:15:35,456 --> 00:15:36,146
Right away.
327
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:37,629
I love you.
328
00:15:41,853 --> 00:15:42,463
[SIGHING]
329
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,170
FATHER LUKE:
You guys want a reading?
330
00:15:52,255 --> 00:15:54,515
Put away your Bibles.
331
00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:56,345
'Cause I got an original
and it's a doosy.
332
00:15:57,913 --> 00:15:59,613
And it goes
something like this.
333
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:02,437
It's a letter from the
Archbishop to this guy.
334
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:05,489
Goes something like this.
335
00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:10,527
"Dear Father Luke Gornsley.
336
00:16:10,621 --> 00:16:14,671
"Due to the struggling nature
of the Holy Family church,
337
00:16:14,756 --> 00:16:18,926
"we feel it is in the best
interest of the church
338
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:21,721
"that you assume
the role of Deacon
339
00:16:21,806 --> 00:16:23,326
"to make room for
a new parish priest."
340
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,420
Well, I've been demoted.
341
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:32,601
Well, that's certainly
not how I saw
my life working out.
342
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:41,385
We're all just trying
to do our best, right?
343
00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,607
And isn't that what
it's all about?
344
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:48,831
Why are we so hard
on ourselves?
345
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:53,580
We're all just
trying to be good.
346
00:16:53,664 --> 00:16:55,104
But that's not what
it's about.
347
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,018
It's not about being good.
348
00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:59,983
It's about trying
to be good
349
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:00,982
and failing
350
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,405
but try again, and failing.
351
00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:09,769
And try again, and failing.
352
00:17:09,854 --> 00:17:13,344
And trying again and failing
again and again and again.
353
00:17:14,250 --> 00:17:15,730
[PEOPLE APPLAUDING]
354
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:21,781
You like that? Okay.
355
00:17:21,866 --> 00:17:22,556
Thank you.
356
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:24,997
Thank you, thank you.
357
00:17:29,396 --> 00:17:30,306
Ooh.
358
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:34,577
[EXHALING DEEPLY]
359
00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:46,938
What...
What are those?
360
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:47,812
It's for the pain.
361
00:17:50,243 --> 00:17:51,423
From the accident.
362
00:17:53,289 --> 00:17:54,249
Pretty strong actually.
363
00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:00,298
[CLEARING THROAT]
364
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:01,603
Um, could you
drive home?
365
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:05,610
Oh. Yeah, sure. Thank you.
366
00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:08,394
Thank you.
367
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:15,088
So which breast is it in?
368
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:17,712
What? The lump,
369
00:18:17,792 --> 00:18:18,792
MAN: Maria Camilucci? Never mind.
370
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:25,451
[EXHALING]
371
00:18:37,551 --> 00:18:39,121
What the fuck is that?
372
00:18:39,205 --> 00:18:40,985
No, no, no. No, no.
No, no, no.
373
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:43,602
Oh, Jesus.
374
00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:50,389
[PHONE RINGING]
375
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:55,401
All right...
376
00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:03,142
Here's the deal. If this
is true, you gotta
give me something.
377
00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:06,843
I've been trying,
378
00:19:09,452 --> 00:19:10,152
but, I'm not feeling it.
379
00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,592
I need signs. Okay?
380
00:19:18,766 --> 00:19:20,676
Real signs, not
381
00:19:22,117 --> 00:19:23,677
bullshit flukes
and coincidences.
382
00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:31,255
So if you're up for it,
tough guy,
this is what I need.
383
00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,044
First and foremost,
384
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:38,658
that lump in my mother's
breast, it's gotta go.
385
00:19:40,875 --> 00:19:43,005
No way around it.
That is a deal breaker.
386
00:19:45,619 --> 00:19:47,139
This is one of the
worst things a doctor
ever has to experience.
387
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:50,617
You don't have a lump.
388
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:54,153
What? There's no lump.
389
00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:57,893
You mean,
it's not cancerous?
390
00:19:57,979 --> 00:19:58,849
The mammogram was
performed incorrectly.
391
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:02,378
But how?
392
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:06,122
Well it seems that your
nipple, uh, kind of got
393
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:07,545
folded over
into the machine.
394
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,301
It's understandable how
we could... [LAUGHING]
395
00:20:09,382 --> 00:20:11,302
DOCTOR: Yay! [LAUGHING]
396
00:20:11,384 --> 00:20:12,084
Then there's Vince.
397
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:15,134
He's a good guy.
398
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:25,050
He's my best friend.
399
00:20:28,401 --> 00:20:29,181
He's my only friend.
400
00:20:32,709 --> 00:20:33,969
I know I'm hard on him,
but that's because I love him.
401
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:39,625
Yeah. He deserves
better though.
402
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:43,456
He deserves better
than how me and
everybody else treats him.
403
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,814
And now, he's walking
around with a broken dick.
404
00:20:46,897 --> 00:20:48,027
So you gotta fix that, too.
405
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:09,180
Excuse me. Um...
406
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:10,138
May I have the key
to your washroom,
please?
407
00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:21,237
That's it, then.
408
00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:24,106
So let's see
what you got.
409
00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:29,715
Or, um...
410
00:21:32,029 --> 00:21:33,119
Guess there's this
one more thing, kind of...
411
00:21:37,818 --> 00:21:38,648
Nicole.
412
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:43,211
Man, I really
like that girl.
413
00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:50,873
I never have felt this way
about a broad before.
414
00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:55,745
She's special, yeah.
415
00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:02,891
So, I mean, if you could
just get that fuck face
Daryl out of the way,
416
00:22:02,973 --> 00:22:04,633
I'm pretty sure I can
take care of the
rest of the problem.
417
00:22:05,454 --> 00:22:06,064
You know it.
418
00:22:10,546 --> 00:22:11,156
[CHUCKLING]
419
00:22:14,637 --> 00:22:15,327
All right...
420
00:22:17,510 --> 00:22:18,030
All right, that's it.
421
00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:22,780
Uh, fuck, amen. Yeah.
422
00:22:24,168 --> 00:22:24,868
Amen.
423
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:31,570
FATHER LUKE:
For those of you who are
ashamed of my words in this
424
00:22:31,654 --> 00:22:33,614
adulterous and
sinful generation,
425
00:22:33,700 --> 00:22:36,920
well, then the Son of God
will be ashamed of them
426
00:22:37,007 --> 00:22:39,707
when He returns in his
Father's glory
427
00:22:39,793 --> 00:22:41,013
amongst the holy angels.
428
00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:48,926
So, what do you think?
429
00:22:49,019 --> 00:22:50,539
Holy shit. [CHUCKLING] Yeah.
430
00:22:50,630 --> 00:22:51,980
That was really good.
431
00:22:52,066 --> 00:22:53,976
Yeah? Yeah.
432
00:22:54,068 --> 00:22:56,198
What about the
scripture choice?
433
00:22:56,287 --> 00:22:58,507
I mean, Mark 8:37
that's a...
434
00:22:58,594 --> 00:23:01,034
I mean that's a
bit risky, but...
435
00:23:01,118 --> 00:23:03,118
I mean I figured this is
my shot, you know, Stop.
436
00:23:03,207 --> 00:23:03,897
I should go for it. I think it's perfect.
437
00:23:05,949 --> 00:23:06,819
Can I tell you something?
438
00:23:09,213 --> 00:23:10,783
Something that I've never
told anybody before?
439
00:23:10,867 --> 00:23:12,217
Yeah, of course.
440
00:23:12,303 --> 00:23:13,963
You're not gonna laugh?No. Never.
441
00:23:14,044 --> 00:23:14,654
Promise? Yeah. [CHUCKLES]
442
00:23:16,525 --> 00:23:19,135
I don't just want to
be a priest,
443
00:23:19,223 --> 00:23:20,363
or a bishop,
or even a cardinal.
444
00:23:22,531 --> 00:23:23,231
I want to be the Pope.
445
00:23:25,491 --> 00:23:27,231
I want to be the best,
you know?
446
00:23:29,712 --> 00:23:30,192
Make my
mark on the world.
447
00:23:56,870 --> 00:23:57,780
[STARTING ENGINE]
448
00:23:59,568 --> 00:24:00,658
Maria!
449
00:24:00,743 --> 00:24:02,013
[TIRES SCREECHING]
450
00:24:06,706 --> 00:24:07,396
Shit!
451
00:24:17,281 --> 00:24:19,411
Aw, fuck. What are you in for?
452
00:24:19,501 --> 00:24:20,021
Being an idiot, bro.
You?
453
00:24:20,981 --> 00:24:22,421
Could be anything.
454
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:23,854
Probably 'cause I
punched a police horse.
455
00:24:23,940 --> 00:24:25,250
Sal! Oh, Ma.
456
00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:28,078
Ma, what did
the doctor say?
457
00:24:28,162 --> 00:24:30,122
I'm fine, baby.
Totally clear.
458
00:24:30,207 --> 00:24:31,557
You are?I am.
459
00:24:31,644 --> 00:24:33,124
My God. This is
the best news ever.
460
00:24:33,210 --> 00:24:34,120
See, it turns out
my nipple...
461
00:24:34,211 --> 00:24:35,561
Oh, I don't wanna
know about...
462
00:24:35,648 --> 00:24:36,478
My erection came back.
463
00:24:38,085 --> 00:24:38,825
No fucking way. Yeah, it's like...
464
00:24:43,612 --> 00:24:44,352
What?
465
00:24:46,833 --> 00:24:48,403
Ma's breast and
your boner, they're, um...
466
00:24:48,487 --> 00:24:50,137
What?
467
00:24:50,227 --> 00:24:51,317
You prayed for this,
didn't you?
468
00:24:53,100 --> 00:24:55,100
You did, didn't you?
469
00:24:55,189 --> 00:24:55,839
Did you pray
for my dick?
470
00:24:57,452 --> 00:24:59,022
Salvatore Camilucci? Yeah, who are you?
471
00:24:59,106 --> 00:25:00,586
I'm your new lawyer.
472
00:25:00,673 --> 00:25:03,023
What happened to Daryl? He had a bit of an accident.
473
00:25:03,110 --> 00:25:05,680
No shit.Yeah, his car was swallowed
up by a sinkhole.
474
00:25:05,765 --> 00:25:08,065
Is he dead?God knows.
475
00:25:08,158 --> 00:25:11,548
Literally, it's one of
those act of God things
that no one can explain.
476
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:14,640
At least according to
the insurance companies.
477
00:25:14,730 --> 00:25:17,040
Did you pray for
that, too?
478
00:25:17,124 --> 00:25:19,214
JUDGE:
Next up in the docket,
Mr. Salvatore Camilucci.
479
00:25:24,914 --> 00:25:25,704
[EXHALING]
480
00:25:27,613 --> 00:25:28,443
JUDGE: Mr. Camilucci?
481
00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:32,265
Yeah, I just need
a second here, pal.
482
00:25:32,356 --> 00:25:34,446
Mr. Camilucci, you will
address the court
as "Your Worship".
483
00:25:37,231 --> 00:25:38,891
I'm sorry, what's that?
484
00:25:38,972 --> 00:25:41,062
In Commonwealth court,
you refer to the magistrate
485
00:25:41,148 --> 00:25:41,928
as Your Worship.
486
00:25:43,629 --> 00:25:45,369
Uh, that's gonna
be a problem.
487
00:25:45,456 --> 00:25:46,456
MARIA: [WHISPERING]
Just say it. It's okay.
488
00:25:46,545 --> 00:25:49,495
JUDGE: Really?
Why is that?
489
00:25:49,591 --> 00:25:53,121
I'm kind of going through
a thing right now,
and, um...
490
00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:54,163
I just don't
feel comfortable
calling you that.
491
00:25:54,248 --> 00:25:55,468
What are you doing?
492
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:57,294
How does $10,000
sound to you?
493
00:25:57,381 --> 00:25:58,731
For what? For contempt of court.
494
00:25:58,818 --> 00:26:00,248
Next it's jail.
495
00:26:00,341 --> 00:26:01,651
Oh, buddy, if you're gonna
act like a dick,
496
00:26:01,734 --> 00:26:02,744
no one's gonna worship
you, okay? Trust me.
497
00:26:04,432 --> 00:26:05,782
[BANGING GAVEL] Take him away.
498
00:26:05,868 --> 00:26:07,518
What the fuck? Take him away.
499
00:26:07,609 --> 00:26:08,829
Easy with him! Hey, watch it!
500
00:26:08,915 --> 00:26:10,255
Hey! [PUNCHING]
501
00:26:10,351 --> 00:26:11,091
Oh!
502
00:26:21,101 --> 00:26:23,491
So, I'll charge about
three cigarettes
for a blowjob,
503
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:24,932
but then when word
gets out I'll bump it
up to four or five.
504
00:26:25,018 --> 00:26:26,718
Four or five.
505
00:26:26,802 --> 00:26:28,542
You guys think that
Sudbury's the type of place
506
00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:30,500
where something big
could happen?
507
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:32,589
You mean like me
kicking that bailiff's ass
for you?
508
00:26:32,678 --> 00:26:34,848
That's five fights since
you turned into Jesus.
509
00:26:34,941 --> 00:26:37,861
No, I mean something
really big.
510
00:26:37,944 --> 00:26:39,734
You guys know this whole
area was formed
by a giant meteorite?
511
00:26:39,815 --> 00:26:41,335
Fuck off. Was it?
512
00:26:41,425 --> 00:26:42,905
Yeah.
It's the world's second
largest impact crater.
513
00:26:42,992 --> 00:26:44,732
And the oldest.
514
00:26:44,820 --> 00:26:46,000
That meteor coulda landed
in a lot of places.
515
00:26:46,082 --> 00:26:47,952
But it landed here.
516
00:26:48,041 --> 00:26:49,131
Yeah, yeah.
That's gotta
mean something.
517
00:26:54,525 --> 00:26:55,875
[BANGING TABLE] Hey!
518
00:26:55,962 --> 00:26:57,882
Oh, fuck!
519
00:27:01,924 --> 00:27:02,934
Luke?
520
00:27:05,972 --> 00:27:07,062
Luke!
521
00:27:09,105 --> 00:27:09,625
Maria? Luke.
522
00:27:10,933 --> 00:27:12,203
Where the hell
have you been?
523
00:27:12,282 --> 00:27:14,112
I've been...
[STAMMERING]
524
00:27:14,197 --> 00:27:15,157
I have something
to tell you.
525
00:27:16,809 --> 00:27:18,029
And I have something
to tell you.
526
00:27:18,114 --> 00:27:18,904
Okay, you first.
527
00:27:20,334 --> 00:27:21,604
This isn't gonna be easy.
528
00:27:21,683 --> 00:27:22,603
Sal did it! What? He did what?
529
00:27:23,337 --> 00:27:25,027
He cured the lump.
530
00:27:25,121 --> 00:27:28,171
He finally prayed
and it's gone.
531
00:27:28,255 --> 00:27:30,385
And he also prayed
for Vince's erection
and it came back.
532
00:27:30,474 --> 00:27:32,354
I saw it.
533
00:27:32,433 --> 00:27:34,573
And he also maybe
killed his lawyer,
534
00:27:34,653 --> 00:27:36,313
also through prayer.
535
00:27:36,393 --> 00:27:37,353
He finally did it.
536
00:27:39,309 --> 00:27:40,139
Holy shit.
537
00:27:42,312 --> 00:27:45,492
Holy, holy, holiest
of shits!
538
00:27:46,621 --> 00:27:49,061
Maria. Oh, Maria.
539
00:27:51,234 --> 00:27:52,024
It is you.
540
00:27:52,714 --> 00:27:53,504
Hey.
541
00:27:54,629 --> 00:27:55,329
Peepers.
542
00:27:57,066 --> 00:27:58,886
Check it out,
I can see again.
543
00:28:00,635 --> 00:28:03,115
Thanks to you
punching me in the face,
544
00:28:03,203 --> 00:28:05,993
the doctors figured out
a way how to fix
my eyes permanently.
545
00:28:06,075 --> 00:28:06,895
Oh, wow.
546
00:28:08,121 --> 00:28:08,641
You're sitting with me.
Come on.
547
00:28:15,389 --> 00:28:16,519
Make room, guys.
Move over.
548
00:28:18,044 --> 00:28:19,054
Sal, get in here. Yeah.
549
00:28:23,614 --> 00:28:26,054
Anybody fucks
with this guy.
550
00:28:27,749 --> 00:28:28,579
I'll kill him.
551
00:28:30,883 --> 00:28:32,063
Good deeds must be repaid.
552
00:28:34,582 --> 00:28:35,412
Did he say "Betray"?
553
00:28:48,683 --> 00:28:49,683
[KNIFE STABS SAL][SAL WINCES]
554
00:28:51,599 --> 00:28:52,909
[ALARM GOES OFF]
555
00:28:52,992 --> 00:28:54,952
[COMMOTION ERUPTS]
556
00:28:55,037 --> 00:28:55,647
Everybody, get on
the ground! Sal!
557
00:29:05,091 --> 00:29:06,571
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
39185
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