All language subtitles for The Detour 4x01 - The Search (English)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,033 --> 00:00:02,486 Baby it's fine, okay? She left her stupid alpaca. 2 00:00:02,488 --> 00:00:03,888 She doesn't go anywhere without this thing. 3 00:00:03,889 --> 00:00:05,755 - Where are you going? - Got to go get my alpaca. 4 00:00:05,757 --> 00:00:07,090 Oh, my God, you're 14. 5 00:00:07,092 --> 00:00:08,092 We need to chat. 6 00:00:08,313 --> 00:00:10,389 Mom, Dad, it's me. 7 00:00:10,463 --> 00:00:12,530 I guess by now you've figured out that I've run away. 8 00:00:12,532 --> 00:00:14,401 When I'm gone, I'm gonna miss you most of all. 9 00:00:14,402 --> 00:00:16,906 - Where am I going? - I'm going far away. 10 00:00:16,907 --> 00:00:18,536 It wasn't an easy decision to make, 11 00:00:18,538 --> 00:00:20,738 but it was one I made a long time ago. 12 00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:22,740 God, I'm sick of being on this loser team. 13 00:00:22,742 --> 00:00:24,275 Hey, we're not down by that much, okay? 14 00:00:24,277 --> 00:00:26,293 - Stay positive. - I'm talking about our family! 15 00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:28,680 - You're still a bitch! - Do not talk to your mother that way! 16 00:00:28,681 --> 00:00:31,282 And who are you? Are you this bitch's friend? 17 00:00:31,284 --> 00:00:33,484 I just want you to know that I love you all, 18 00:00:33,486 --> 00:00:35,254 but I can probably do better on my own. 19 00:00:35,255 --> 00:00:36,876 - That's the guy you like? - Mm-hmm. 20 00:00:36,877 --> 00:00:38,702 But mostly I'm just using him for his car. 21 00:00:39,559 --> 00:00:41,616 Please, don't come looking for me. 22 00:00:42,162 --> 00:00:43,655 I don't want to be found. 23 00:00:44,023 --> 00:00:47,057 So believe me when I tell you you'll never find me. 24 00:00:48,907 --> 00:00:51,729 _ 25 00:01:08,188 --> 00:01:10,361 _ 26 00:01:15,327 --> 00:01:16,794 Wait, hold on. What's going on? 27 00:01:16,796 --> 00:01:17,796 Why are you turning back? 28 00:01:17,797 --> 00:01:19,169 _ 29 00:01:19,170 --> 00:01:21,170 _ 30 00:01:21,201 --> 00:01:22,602 They seem a little freaked out, don't they? 31 00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:23,863 _ 32 00:01:24,057 --> 00:01:25,332 _ 33 00:01:25,552 --> 00:01:27,498 _ 34 00:01:27,499 --> 00:01:28,587 _ 35 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:29,593 _ 36 00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,038 He's just talking about my hat. 37 00:01:31,356 --> 00:01:32,833 _ 38 00:01:32,835 --> 00:01:34,188 _ 39 00:01:34,189 --> 00:01:35,814 _ 40 00:01:35,815 --> 00:01:37,515 Merci. 41 00:01:38,418 --> 00:01:40,150 - Whoa! Guys! - Wait! 42 00:01:40,152 --> 00:01:41,484 - Hey! - Guys, where you going? 43 00:01:41,485 --> 00:01:43,128 Nate, I'm a little scared. I think we should go with them. 44 00:01:43,129 --> 00:01:44,822 What are you talking about? 45 00:01:44,824 --> 00:01:46,557 The village is only a mile away from here. 46 00:01:46,559 --> 00:01:48,427 Yeah, but based on their reaction and the smell of things, 47 00:01:48,428 --> 00:01:50,294 I-I think maybe we should just go with them. 48 00:01:50,295 --> 00:01:52,177 It smells like dead skunks. So what? 49 00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:53,628 Yeah, what plant that smells like dead skunks 50 00:01:53,629 --> 00:01:54,832 would freak the police out? 51 00:01:54,834 --> 00:01:56,234 - Raisins. - God, it's weed. 52 00:01:56,236 --> 00:01:57,635 Weed's not a plant. 53 00:01:57,637 --> 00:01:58,818 Come on, Nate. Let's just go. 54 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:01,039 Absolutely not! Okay? 55 00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:03,774 We have been searching for our daughter for months, 56 00:02:03,776 --> 00:02:06,711 and this is the closest lead that we've had, okay? 57 00:02:06,713 --> 00:02:09,179 We know for a fact that she was in Machu Picchu. 58 00:02:09,181 --> 00:02:10,581 - In Peru. - And that guy there... 59 00:02:10,583 --> 00:02:11,662 That you paid money to. 60 00:02:11,663 --> 00:02:14,019 Who very reliably told me 61 00:02:14,020 --> 00:02:16,897 that in that village just over that fence 62 00:02:16,898 --> 00:02:20,124 there is a little blond girl who ran away from America... 63 00:02:20,126 --> 00:02:21,525 - Turn around. - a mile away from here! 64 00:02:21,527 --> 00:02:24,395 - Nate, turn around. - No! Never! All right? 65 00:02:24,397 --> 00:02:27,398 Turning around is giving up, and I don't give up on family. 66 00:02:27,399 --> 00:02:28,969 Oh, you don't? You gave up on Vanessa. 67 00:02:28,970 --> 00:02:30,241 She's not fam... 68 00:02:30,656 --> 00:02:32,189 She framed you twice. 69 00:02:32,272 --> 00:02:33,471 What about Edie? 70 00:02:33,473 --> 00:02:35,539 She stole my sperm, 71 00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:38,344 shoved it up her vagina, and made a baby with it, okay? 72 00:02:38,345 --> 00:02:39,413 That's an insane woman. 73 00:02:39,414 --> 00:02:41,279 I don't give up on family that I like. 74 00:02:41,281 --> 00:02:42,860 One, two, three. 75 00:02:42,861 --> 00:02:44,391 All right, I don't want to give up either 76 00:02:44,392 --> 00:02:45,925 but I'm very concerned about our safety. 77 00:02:45,927 --> 00:02:47,727 Babe, nothing's gonna happen. 78 00:02:47,729 --> 00:02:50,129 Have you forgotten who I am? 79 00:02:50,131 --> 00:02:52,732 I'm a dad with a particular set of skills. 80 00:02:52,734 --> 00:02:54,067 Let's ride! 81 00:02:54,069 --> 00:02:55,401 Hyah! 82 00:02:55,403 --> 00:02:57,737 Come on! Whoo! Let's go! 83 00:02:57,739 --> 00:02:59,472 Hyah! Hyah! 84 00:02:59,474 --> 00:03:02,275 Whoo! Come on! Yeah! Get some! 85 00:03:02,277 --> 00:03:03,409 Whoo! Go! 86 00:03:07,749 --> 00:03:09,215 - Oh! - Ooh. 87 00:03:10,972 --> 00:03:12,904 Oh. 88 00:03:12,959 --> 00:03:14,411 Oh, you okay, babe? 89 00:03:15,509 --> 00:03:17,182 I'm going to find my daughter. 90 00:03:17,707 --> 00:03:19,365 With or without this lazy asshole. 91 00:03:39,981 --> 00:03:42,248 That's... 92 00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:43,750 That's a dead head. 93 00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:46,653 It's a dead head. 94 00:03:48,916 --> 00:03:50,453 These are real human heads. 95 00:03:50,858 --> 00:03:53,326 They couldn't say "dead head" in English?! 96 00:03:55,463 --> 00:03:57,062 Go! 97 00:03:57,064 --> 00:03:58,932 Go! Run! 98 00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,199 Fast! Go! 99 00:04:02,604 --> 00:04:05,739 Wait for me, you [bleep] idiot! 100 00:04:05,741 --> 00:04:07,072 Now you run! 101 00:04:07,074 --> 00:04:08,742 Oh, now you run! 102 00:04:08,744 --> 00:04:10,810 You stupid idiot! 103 00:04:10,812 --> 00:04:12,479 Get back here! 104 00:04:25,097 --> 00:04:28,963 _ 105 00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:32,870 _ 106 00:04:42,444 --> 00:04:45,911 They say a storm's coming in. 107 00:04:45,913 --> 00:04:47,681 - Who's they? - The locals. 108 00:04:49,317 --> 00:04:51,050 What the hell do they know? 109 00:04:51,052 --> 00:04:52,509 The weather pattern of the mountain 110 00:04:52,510 --> 00:04:54,520 they've spent their entire lives living in the shadow of. 111 00:04:54,522 --> 00:04:56,255 Okay, well, then it's the perfect storm. 112 00:04:56,257 --> 00:04:58,458 No, please don't invoke a trip where everybody dies. 113 00:04:58,460 --> 00:05:01,795 It was a movie. No one really died, okay? 114 00:05:01,797 --> 00:05:03,262 And besides, it's the perfect storm 115 00:05:03,264 --> 00:05:05,064 because she's gonna be trapped up there, 116 00:05:05,066 --> 00:05:06,932 nowhere to go, terrified. 117 00:05:06,934 --> 00:05:08,334 - It's great. - I don't know, Nate. 118 00:05:08,336 --> 00:05:09,669 This lead is really thin. 119 00:05:09,671 --> 00:05:12,205 All we know is that she's in Tibet... somewhere. 120 00:05:12,207 --> 00:05:15,408 Yeah, and a guy, who I did not pay money to this time, 121 00:05:15,410 --> 00:05:16,942 said there's a little ninja starfish 122 00:05:16,944 --> 00:05:18,678 entertaining monks in an ancient temple 123 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,213 singing a song called "It's Fun Being Weird." 124 00:05:20,215 --> 00:05:21,280 How is that not her? 125 00:05:21,282 --> 00:05:22,548 Hey, was this the same guy who said 126 00:05:22,550 --> 00:05:24,484 that there was a young taekwondo master at the Taj Mahal? 127 00:05:24,486 --> 00:05:26,085 - Different guy. - Oh, then maybe it was the... 128 00:05:26,087 --> 00:05:27,687 No, no, no, ba-da-da. 129 00:05:27,689 --> 00:05:31,090 Do not bring up Japan, okay? No Japan. 130 00:05:31,092 --> 00:05:32,425 Good. 131 00:05:32,853 --> 00:05:33,959 I don't know. 132 00:05:33,961 --> 00:05:35,830 Did you ever think maybe she just doesn't want to be found? 133 00:05:35,831 --> 00:05:37,963 She sends us videos every month, right? 134 00:05:37,965 --> 00:05:39,699 - Yeah. - They're a cry for help. 135 00:05:39,701 --> 00:05:42,301 They're saying, "Mommy, Daddy, please come find me." 136 00:05:42,303 --> 00:05:43,636 Do not come find me. 137 00:05:44,103 --> 00:05:45,704 - Can't listen to her words. - Oh, okay. 138 00:05:46,469 --> 00:05:50,443 Listen to my words... Do not come find me. 139 00:05:50,445 --> 00:05:51,718 She's a child. 140 00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,979 She still needs us to teach her things. 141 00:05:53,981 --> 00:05:55,581 I taught myself how to swim. 142 00:05:55,583 --> 00:05:56,982 I even learned the breaststroke. 143 00:05:56,984 --> 00:05:59,052 - It's the easiest to learn. - It's not. 144 00:05:59,187 --> 00:06:00,252 Okay. 145 00:06:00,321 --> 00:06:02,255 Check out the ninja starfish! 146 00:06:02,625 --> 00:06:04,773 She taught herself how to play guitar! 147 00:06:05,393 --> 00:06:06,660 ? It's fun being weird ? 148 00:06:06,662 --> 00:06:07,861 Okay, just shut it off, all right? 149 00:06:07,863 --> 00:06:09,262 She needs her parents. Period. 150 00:06:09,264 --> 00:06:11,598 - So does Jared. - Oh, he's fine. He's a boy. 151 00:06:12,668 --> 00:06:14,133 No. No. 152 00:06:14,135 --> 00:06:16,202 _ 153 00:06:16,203 --> 00:06:18,335 _ 154 00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,336 _ 155 00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:22,920 No! No. We're moving too fast. 156 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,598 I don't even know your name. 157 00:06:26,147 --> 00:06:30,534 Hey, phone, how do you say, "what is your name" in Chinese? 158 00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,188 _ 159 00:06:34,289 --> 00:06:35,289 No h-way. 160 00:06:35,290 --> 00:06:36,417 _ 161 00:06:36,418 --> 00:06:37,623 No h-way! 162 00:06:37,625 --> 00:06:39,158 Yeah! 163 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,493 This is so cool. 164 00:06:40,495 --> 00:06:42,050 Now we're connecting. All right. 165 00:06:42,051 --> 00:06:45,698 Hey, phone, how do you say, "What is your age?" in Chinese? 166 00:06:48,636 --> 00:06:50,187 No, that's only 10. 167 00:06:50,188 --> 00:06:53,521 _ 168 00:06:54,628 --> 00:06:58,411 Okay, 10 in China years, but, uh, how many in American? 169 00:07:03,585 --> 00:07:05,518 Geez. 170 00:07:15,731 --> 00:07:17,263 Ready for a hike? 171 00:07:20,201 --> 00:07:21,467 Hey! There he is. 172 00:07:21,469 --> 00:07:23,068 Whoa, geez. You all right? 173 00:07:23,070 --> 00:07:24,605 Yeah. Yeah, we got to get out of here right now. 174 00:07:24,606 --> 00:07:26,539 - We got to get out of here. - Yeah, absolutely. 175 00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:28,211 See, that's my un-stunted boy. 176 00:07:28,212 --> 00:07:29,908 When it comes to family, he knows how to get some. 177 00:07:29,909 --> 00:07:31,544 Yeah, just got some, and she was 10. 178 00:07:31,946 --> 00:07:33,212 10? She was... 179 00:07:33,214 --> 00:07:34,814 - Nice. - No. Don't. 180 00:07:34,816 --> 00:07:36,616 Don't condone him rating women numerically. 181 00:07:36,618 --> 00:07:38,217 - Gross. - Yeah, it's gross, man. 182 00:07:38,219 --> 00:07:39,953 It's what's on the inside that counts. Right. 183 00:07:39,955 --> 00:07:41,621 Okay, and I betcha she's a 10 in there too. 184 00:07:41,623 --> 00:07:43,056 I didn't know! 185 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:47,092 All right. He wants to find his sister. 186 00:07:47,094 --> 00:07:48,962 - So weird. - Let's get some. 187 00:07:48,964 --> 00:07:50,209 Whoo! 188 00:07:51,185 --> 00:07:52,785 - Race you up the mountain! - I'm not doing that. 189 00:07:53,835 --> 00:07:55,468 Why are we going down? 190 00:07:57,038 --> 00:07:59,111 Jared, wait up! Come on! 191 00:07:59,775 --> 00:08:01,574 Save some energy. 192 00:08:01,576 --> 00:08:03,007 Come on, get in. 193 00:08:03,008 --> 00:08:04,778 Get in what? That's not ours. It's my girlfriend's. 194 00:08:04,780 --> 00:08:06,245 She said we can use it to go upriver. 195 00:08:06,247 --> 00:08:07,647 - Up to where? - The temple! 196 00:08:07,649 --> 00:08:09,248 - Let's go! - The temple's up the mountain. 197 00:08:09,250 --> 00:08:11,184 She told me about a secret Chinese entrance. 198 00:08:11,436 --> 00:08:13,238 Dad, please! Just trust me. 199 00:08:13,789 --> 00:08:15,188 - Okay. - What? 200 00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:16,990 Okay. What's the worst that could happen 201 00:08:16,992 --> 00:08:18,257 if we're going the wrong way? 202 00:08:18,259 --> 00:08:20,460 - You sure about this? - Yes, yes! 203 00:08:20,462 --> 00:08:21,511 Okay. 204 00:08:21,663 --> 00:08:23,596 You're lucky I'm a boat guy. 205 00:08:23,598 --> 00:08:24,864 Load up. 206 00:08:27,669 --> 00:08:30,570 Ancient Chinese shortcut, my... Ow! 207 00:08:56,798 --> 00:08:57,930 How'd you find me? 208 00:08:57,932 --> 00:08:59,132 We looked all over the world for you. 209 00:08:59,133 --> 00:09:01,133 Did you ever think maybe I didn't want to be found? 210 00:09:01,135 --> 00:09:02,668 Why'd you do it? Why'd you leave? 211 00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:04,871 So many different reasons. None of which were you. 212 00:09:04,873 --> 00:09:06,038 That's good to know. 213 00:09:06,039 --> 00:09:07,659 It's been a really rough year for me. 214 00:09:08,610 --> 00:09:10,993 - Um, what the... - Oh, this is Lupe. 215 00:09:10,994 --> 00:09:12,812 I met her in Peru at that Pikachu temple. 216 00:09:12,814 --> 00:09:15,348 Mm. Mmm. 217 00:09:15,350 --> 00:09:16,616 Gracias. 218 00:09:16,618 --> 00:09:18,218 Dear God. 219 00:09:18,220 --> 00:09:19,886 I don't know what it is. 220 00:09:19,888 --> 00:09:21,554 Maybe I've just missed you so much 221 00:09:21,556 --> 00:09:23,423 that I'm just replacing you with random girls 222 00:09:23,425 --> 00:09:25,758 or you really were just the biggest cock bock in the world 223 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,960 and things are finally just working out great for me. 224 00:09:35,237 --> 00:09:37,687 _ 225 00:09:37,688 --> 00:09:40,432 _ 226 00:09:40,508 --> 00:09:42,708 I sure hope you're being a gentleman with all these girls. 227 00:09:42,909 --> 00:09:45,110 Of course. This chick, Sunitha, I met her in India. 228 00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:46,979 Her boobs were completely different sizes. 229 00:09:46,981 --> 00:09:49,482 I didn't say anything. Did not even mention it to her. 230 00:09:49,879 --> 00:09:51,584 _ 231 00:09:57,182 --> 00:09:58,390 I think he's warming up. 232 00:09:58,392 --> 00:09:59,992 I'm just really worried that he's... 233 00:09:59,994 --> 00:10:01,861 he's leaving a trail of chaos behind him 234 00:10:01,863 --> 00:10:03,397 because we've been on the road this whole time. 235 00:10:03,398 --> 00:10:05,265 You know, he never has to face any of the consequences. 236 00:10:05,267 --> 00:10:06,799 He was making out with a child. 237 00:10:06,801 --> 00:10:08,734 Okay, in his defense, she did not look 10. 238 00:10:08,736 --> 00:10:10,403 What are you t... We were all wearing snowsuits. 239 00:10:10,405 --> 00:10:12,805 How do you know? I'm amazing at guessing ages. 240 00:10:12,807 --> 00:10:14,540 - Oh, my God. - I could've worked at a carnival. 241 00:10:14,542 --> 00:10:15,875 I'm not great at guessing weight 242 00:10:15,877 --> 00:10:18,078 'cause I always think people are fatter than they are. 243 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:19,413 - Nate. Nate. - You know, for me, it's... 244 00:10:19,414 --> 00:10:20,547 Nate, we... we... we got to flip him. 245 00:10:20,548 --> 00:10:21,948 - What? - Just... 246 00:10:21,950 --> 00:10:23,416 - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yep, yep. 247 00:10:23,418 --> 00:10:25,151 Yeah, yeah, sure. Come here, pal. 248 00:10:25,764 --> 00:10:27,019 That's it. 249 00:10:27,021 --> 00:10:29,422 No, listen, I'm not condoning what he did, okay? 250 00:10:29,781 --> 00:10:31,423 - But he didn't... Oh! - Yeah. 251 00:10:31,425 --> 00:10:32,398 - No! - Yes. 252 00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:34,027 - No! Take him back. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 253 00:10:34,028 --> 00:10:35,296 - It's too weird. It's too weird. - Take him back! Take him back! 254 00:10:35,297 --> 00:10:36,696 - It's too weird. - It's not weird for me? 255 00:10:36,698 --> 00:10:38,364 - It's not sexual. - Ew! Gross! 256 00:10:38,366 --> 00:10:39,767 Why would you even say that?! Of course it's not! 257 00:10:39,768 --> 00:10:41,302 You didn't have a problem with it when he was a baby. 258 00:10:41,303 --> 00:10:42,568 You used to laugh at it. 259 00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:43,971 Yeah, 'cause it was half the size of my pinkie 260 00:10:43,972 --> 00:10:45,371 when he was a baby, and it was funny 261 00:10:45,373 --> 00:10:46,840 because no one ever tells you babies can do that. 262 00:10:46,841 --> 00:10:48,441 - Now take it back! - No! No! 263 00:10:48,443 --> 00:10:49,510 You have more experience with this. 264 00:10:49,511 --> 00:10:50,843 It should be pointing at you. 265 00:10:50,845 --> 00:10:52,578 My experience with it is pointing away from me. 266 00:10:52,580 --> 00:10:54,380 Well, is there anything we can do to get rid of it? 267 00:10:54,382 --> 00:10:56,649 - Oh, my God! No! - I don't... I mean, I don't know! 268 00:10:56,651 --> 00:10:57,683 - Gross! - What do you mean? 269 00:10:57,697 --> 00:10:58,785 Why would you want me to... 270 00:10:58,787 --> 00:11:00,052 Absolutely not! 271 00:11:00,054 --> 00:11:02,427 It's not a stiff neck. It's a stiff... 272 00:11:02,857 --> 00:11:05,057 Sweetie, he's shivering. Please. 273 00:11:05,059 --> 00:11:07,059 Okay, fine. Fine. Fine. 274 00:11:07,061 --> 00:11:09,061 There's nothing weird about this, okay? 275 00:11:09,063 --> 00:11:11,864 It's just a... father and mother 276 00:11:11,866 --> 00:11:13,866 trying to warm up their son with a big... 277 00:11:13,868 --> 00:11:15,068 You're doing great. You're doing great. 278 00:11:15,069 --> 00:11:16,336 It's not... It's not... I can't do it. 279 00:11:16,338 --> 00:11:17,603 I can't do it. I can't do it! 280 00:11:17,605 --> 00:11:18,739 It's too weird! I'm going to get our daughter. 281 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:19,739 Nate, no! 282 00:11:19,741 --> 00:11:21,674 - No. No, I'm going. Sorry. - Nate! 283 00:11:21,676 --> 00:11:24,744 I'm sick of waiting around for a storm that's not coming. 284 00:11:24,746 --> 00:11:26,346 I'm going to get her myself. 285 00:11:56,667 --> 00:11:57,744 Hey! 286 00:11:58,214 --> 00:11:59,646 Hey, buddy! You okay? 287 00:12:01,115 --> 00:12:03,153 Buddy! Can you hear me? 288 00:12:04,398 --> 00:12:05,979 You're gonna be all right! 289 00:12:06,641 --> 00:12:08,188 I could've been a doctor! 290 00:12:14,996 --> 00:12:18,398 Aw, shit. You're dead, aren't you? 291 00:12:18,755 --> 00:12:19,785 Hey! 292 00:12:20,511 --> 00:12:22,802 Hey! This guy's dead! 293 00:12:22,804 --> 00:12:24,670 _ 294 00:12:24,672 --> 00:12:25,672 We can't leave him here! 295 00:12:25,674 --> 00:12:27,140 We got to get him off this mountain! 296 00:12:27,469 --> 00:12:29,892 _ 297 00:12:30,011 --> 00:12:32,351 No man left behind. You ever heard the expression? 298 00:12:32,558 --> 00:12:35,261 _ 299 00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:36,854 1982? 300 00:12:37,151 --> 00:12:38,585 Well, that explains the neon. 301 00:12:40,222 --> 00:12:41,982 I'm gonna get you out of here! 302 00:12:42,224 --> 00:12:44,547 I just got to find my daughter first. 303 00:13:19,127 --> 00:13:21,861 Ah! What's up, man? 304 00:13:22,776 --> 00:13:25,331 Whew! That is a hell of a climb. 305 00:13:25,333 --> 00:13:28,068 I'm assuming by the getup that, uh, this is the ancient temple. 306 00:13:29,058 --> 00:13:30,470 Yeah, that's what I thought. 307 00:13:33,341 --> 00:13:34,541 Whew! 308 00:13:37,232 --> 00:13:38,364 Oh, come on, man. 309 00:13:38,432 --> 00:13:40,518 I just climbed through a crippling snowstorm. 310 00:13:40,791 --> 00:13:42,960 You don't think I can make it up another 3 feet 311 00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:45,771 without being attached to a child safety string? 312 00:13:45,773 --> 00:13:47,439 Come on. I'm a pro. 313 00:13:47,441 --> 00:13:49,342 Shit. Shit. 314 00:13:50,771 --> 00:13:51,871 Aw, shit! 315 00:14:10,591 --> 00:14:12,998 Aaaah! 316 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,333 Oh, shit! 317 00:14:16,003 --> 00:14:17,869 Oh, shit. 318 00:14:26,814 --> 00:14:28,414 Aaaah! 319 00:14:28,416 --> 00:14:29,982 Oh, I got you. 320 00:14:31,753 --> 00:14:34,219 I told you I'd come back for you! 321 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,241 Yeah! I'm riding you like a motherf... 322 00:14:37,691 --> 00:14:38,917 Aah! 323 00:14:41,717 --> 00:14:42,795 Aw, shit! 324 00:14:42,832 --> 00:14:44,832 Oh my God! Aah! 325 00:14:52,974 --> 00:14:54,974 Aw, shit! Aah! 326 00:15:07,855 --> 00:15:09,355 Aah! 327 00:15:15,129 --> 00:15:16,687 Oh! Babe! 328 00:15:16,944 --> 00:15:18,204 I'm so glad you stayed. 329 00:15:18,205 --> 00:15:20,543 I think we should all really be together as a family 330 00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,038 to greet her, you know? 331 00:15:22,629 --> 00:15:24,836 All right, let's go on. The storm's passed. 332 00:15:27,074 --> 00:15:28,443 I fell down a mountain. 333 00:15:30,937 --> 00:15:33,967 _ 334 00:15:55,230 --> 00:15:56,498 Oh, hey. 335 00:15:57,032 --> 00:15:58,880 How are you? Good to see you again. 336 00:15:59,368 --> 00:16:01,250 I was the guy that... fell. 337 00:16:01,770 --> 00:16:03,504 Oh! You got my backpack! 338 00:16:03,506 --> 00:16:05,105 I thought I lost it. 339 00:16:05,107 --> 00:16:06,106 Ah, bless your heart. 340 00:16:06,108 --> 00:16:08,342 So, is our daughter here? 341 00:16:11,847 --> 00:16:13,981 Oh, yeah. Uh, do you have any cash? 342 00:16:13,983 --> 00:16:15,316 - Oh, yeah. - This is karma, right? 343 00:16:15,318 --> 00:16:16,517 That's what we're doing? 344 00:16:16,519 --> 00:16:18,273 - What does he need money for? - I don't know. 345 00:16:18,274 --> 00:16:20,453 Beads? Tea? Haircuts aren't free. 346 00:16:20,455 --> 00:16:22,056 Also, what do you care? I just don't want to hear anymore 347 00:16:22,057 --> 00:16:23,056 that Buddhists are the good ones. 348 00:16:23,057 --> 00:16:24,097 They all take your money. 349 00:16:24,098 --> 00:16:25,660 Hey, can you do me a favor? Be like the Buddhists 350 00:16:25,661 --> 00:16:27,194 and take a vow of silence for a few minutes? 351 00:16:27,196 --> 00:16:28,462 Sorry. 352 00:16:30,132 --> 00:16:32,666 [Chanting] ? It's fun being weird ? 353 00:16:32,668 --> 00:16:35,135 ? It's fun being weird ? 354 00:16:35,137 --> 00:16:37,338 ? It's fun being weird ? 355 00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:40,407 ? You should try it sometime ? 356 00:16:40,409 --> 00:16:42,809 ? It's fun being weird ? 357 00:16:42,811 --> 00:16:45,278 ? It's fun being weird ? 358 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,548 ? It's fun being weird ? 359 00:16:47,550 --> 00:16:50,483 ? You should try it sometime ? 360 00:16:50,485 --> 00:16:52,886 ? It's fun being weird ? 361 00:16:52,888 --> 00:16:55,356 ? It's fun being weird ? 362 00:16:55,358 --> 00:16:57,624 ? It's fun being weird ? 363 00:16:57,626 --> 00:17:00,694 ? You should try it sometime ? 364 00:17:00,696 --> 00:17:02,896 ? It's fun being weird ? 365 00:17:02,898 --> 00:17:05,432 ? It's fun being weird ? 366 00:17:05,434 --> 00:17:07,701 ? It's fun being weird ? 367 00:17:07,703 --> 00:17:08,902 ? You should try it sometime ? 368 00:17:08,904 --> 00:17:10,904 Ha! I'm the mayor! This thing is fun! 369 00:17:10,906 --> 00:17:13,585 That's factory setting. Sorry, it's... 370 00:17:14,177 --> 00:17:16,643 Delilah, we've been to every corner 371 00:17:16,645 --> 00:17:18,179 of this earth looking for you, 372 00:17:18,181 --> 00:17:19,913 and there's nothing we wouldn't give 373 00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:22,315 to just sit quietly on a beach with you again 374 00:17:22,317 --> 00:17:26,387 and watch your amazing breasts... breasts... breasts... 375 00:17:26,389 --> 00:17:28,589 breasts... br-br-breast... breast... 376 00:17:28,591 --> 00:17:30,391 Stop! Stop! Stop! It's breaststroke! 377 00:17:30,393 --> 00:17:31,593 The swimming move you taught yourself. I'm... 378 00:17:31,594 --> 00:17:33,260 Stop. Stop, please. Please, Nate, stop. 379 00:17:33,262 --> 00:17:36,196 Delilah, honey, we just... we need one minute of your time, 380 00:17:36,198 --> 00:17:38,799 just one minute, to let you know how much we love you. 381 00:17:45,741 --> 00:17:46,861 What the... 382 00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:48,667 Who are you? 383 00:17:49,011 --> 00:17:50,477 Where's my daughter? 384 00:17:51,395 --> 00:17:53,013 W-What have you done with my daughter? 385 00:17:53,015 --> 00:17:55,482 This is her song. How do you know this song? 386 00:17:55,771 --> 00:17:57,618 Where is my daughter?! 387 00:17:57,887 --> 00:17:59,486 How do you know this song?! 388 00:17:59,488 --> 00:18:00,670 YouTube. 389 00:18:01,224 --> 00:18:03,156 ? It's fun being weird ? 390 00:18:03,158 --> 00:18:05,158 ? It's fun being weird ? 391 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:07,027 ? It's fun being weird ? 392 00:18:07,029 --> 00:18:09,630 ? You should try it sometime ? 393 00:18:09,632 --> 00:18:11,698 ? It's fun being weird ? 394 00:18:11,700 --> 00:18:14,367 ? You should try it sometime ? 395 00:18:14,369 --> 00:18:16,531 - I want to go home. - I know, honey. We're going home. 396 00:18:16,532 --> 00:18:18,239 Not like a hotel, like home, home. 397 00:18:18,241 --> 00:18:19,640 I don't want to travel anymore. 398 00:18:19,642 --> 00:18:21,041 I want a full-size toothpaste. 399 00:18:21,043 --> 00:18:22,610 Okay, we'll get you one of those. 400 00:18:33,789 --> 00:18:35,716 I can't go. I need my daughter back. 401 00:18:36,859 --> 00:18:37,877 So do I. 402 00:18:38,127 --> 00:18:39,941 But she doesn't want to come home. 403 00:18:40,129 --> 00:18:41,728 Nate, she's off seeing the world, 404 00:18:41,730 --> 00:18:42,996 and we have to face the fact 405 00:18:42,998 --> 00:18:44,465 that she doesn't want to be found. 406 00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:45,957 I can't live without her, okay? 407 00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:47,290 That means I can't leave without her. 408 00:18:47,291 --> 00:18:48,309 What about us? 409 00:18:48,604 --> 00:18:50,938 I need a husband. Jared needs a father. 410 00:18:50,940 --> 00:18:52,655 And I can't be good at either of those things 411 00:18:52,656 --> 00:18:54,741 - until I have her back. - Listen to me. 412 00:18:54,944 --> 00:18:56,819 If we don't start learning from our mistakes, 413 00:18:56,820 --> 00:18:58,545 we are doomed to repeat them. 414 00:18:58,547 --> 00:19:00,613 - Thought you hated Buddhists. - That's not Buddhism. 415 00:19:00,615 --> 00:19:02,290 It's just me calling my shitty parenting a mistake. 416 00:19:02,485 --> 00:19:04,375 I get it. I suck. 417 00:19:04,820 --> 00:19:06,230 But I don't want the same thing to happen to him. 418 00:19:06,231 --> 00:19:08,088 I have like maybe two years left with him, 419 00:19:08,090 --> 00:19:09,290 and I need to make them count. 420 00:19:09,292 --> 00:19:11,867 So please, Nate, let's go home. 421 00:19:12,295 --> 00:19:13,390 Come on. 422 00:19:21,170 --> 00:19:22,235 I love you both. 423 00:19:22,237 --> 00:19:24,305 - Honey, she's not here. - I got to check. 424 00:19:25,574 --> 00:19:27,040 - Okay, they're good. - Nate! No! 425 00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,324 What are you doing? She's not here! 426 00:19:30,245 --> 00:19:31,828 Nate! Come back! 427 00:20:01,149 --> 00:20:03,817 _ 428 00:20:04,605 --> 00:20:07,797 _ 429 00:20:17,975 --> 00:20:19,550 Hey, guys, just checking in from Rome. 430 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:22,029 You know, being weird. Not doing what the Romans do. 431 00:20:22,031 --> 00:20:24,365 Just going for a paddle in New Zealand. 432 00:20:24,367 --> 00:20:25,824 Hut-hut! Hut-hut! 433 00:20:27,094 --> 00:20:30,238 This is my 18th and final video from Egypt. As expected.. 434 00:20:30,239 --> 00:20:33,106 Hey, mate, you said you were gonna help us row. 435 00:20:33,108 --> 00:20:34,575 Oh, sorry, mate. 436 00:20:34,577 --> 00:20:36,109 I'm just exhausted, you know, mentally. 437 00:20:36,111 --> 00:20:37,578 Been looking for my daughter for over a year. 438 00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:39,246 You know, you wouldn't believe how hard it is 439 00:20:39,248 --> 00:20:41,715 to find one person on this tiny globe. 440 00:20:41,717 --> 00:20:43,646 You know, it's like finding a needle in a haystack. 441 00:20:43,919 --> 00:20:45,586 Or more like a corn dog in Egypt. 442 00:20:46,134 --> 00:20:47,588 Is that a Maori phrase? 443 00:20:47,590 --> 00:20:49,256 I like that. I'm gonna use that. 444 00:20:49,258 --> 00:20:52,259 No, man, I'm saying she's eating a corn dog in Egypt. 445 00:20:52,261 --> 00:20:53,530 That's weird. 446 00:20:54,063 --> 00:20:55,624 That is weird. 447 00:20:56,157 --> 00:20:57,888 There's no corn dogs in Egypt. 448 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,859 There's no corn dogs in Egypt! 449 00:21:00,269 --> 00:21:02,469 This is my 18th and final video. 450 00:21:02,471 --> 00:21:04,071 That's just par for the course. 451 00:21:04,073 --> 00:21:06,540 She's eating a corn dog in Egypt. That's weird. 452 00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:08,275 Hut-hut! Hut-hut! 453 00:21:08,277 --> 00:21:09,343 Putt-putt. 454 00:21:14,483 --> 00:21:16,483 Guys, it's putt-putt! 455 00:21:16,485 --> 00:21:17,951 She went to putt-putt! 456 00:21:17,953 --> 00:21:19,609 This is in Syracuse! 457 00:21:19,610 --> 00:21:20,821 She didn't go anywhere! 458 00:21:20,823 --> 00:21:22,546 I used to take her here all the time! 459 00:21:22,547 --> 00:21:24,936 I'd be so mad at myself for being such an idiot 460 00:21:24,937 --> 00:21:26,225 and not realizing this 461 00:21:27,408 --> 00:21:29,363 but I'm so happy right now. 462 00:21:32,235 --> 00:21:33,743 You're a very wise culture. 463 00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:35,266 Cheer up, buddy. 464 00:21:35,310 --> 00:21:37,376 - Te waka. - "Te waka" means "canoe." 465 00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:38,705 Te waka! 466 00:21:38,707 --> 00:21:41,019 Oh, hell! You should probably stay in it! 467 00:21:41,083 --> 00:21:42,796 'Cause that's a long swim, bro! 468 00:21:50,725 --> 00:21:53,240 Synced and corrected by hawken45 for www.addic7ed.com 32674

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