Original subtitles

Being a police officer is not What you see on television

l never had to choose between a red Wire and a blue wire

Never seen a police car flip over Causing a chain reaction

Then a car burst into flames

Never had to jump from one Roof top to another

l spend my time investigating crimes

Tracking down leads typing up reports And sitting in court

lt`s difficult tedious work and you`re Not gonna get rich doing it

But l`ve been on the job for 28 years

And l wouldn`t have it any other way

l am a detective that`s what l do

You break the law in my city

l`ll do everything in my power to hunt You down and put you behind bars

l`m not gonna say l`ll succeed Every time

But l`ll try my best to make sure That if you commit the crime

You`ll do the time

Any other questions?

Well...Detective Preston

Why don`t you tell us the lighter Side of police work?

You know the fun days

Damn it l chased him across the street 3 roof tops

you can`t do this

it`s come down to the mayor`s office

you`re a lose cannon you destroyed the entire block

what`s that supposed to do with this?

You should called for back up

The only back up l have, sir

ls lying down in the hospital bed

His doctor called 5 minutes ago

Jimmy didn`t make it

Oh god . no

He was just talking about Giving out

l know it`s hard

He was like a brother to me captain

Ever since he was a kid we Were partners

All we used to do was hang out And dream about

Being on the force together

That was a dream

Just hilarious boys

Fighting and scraping

Thinking about making a difference

God l`ll miss him

l`m gonna need you gun Sellars, please

Well l may be off the force

But l am not off this case

That`s not in the script

l thought my character Was on the line

Trey it was great it was very believable

But l`ll do whatever way you Want me to do it

You can`t be perfect We have an imagination

Thanks so much we`ll call you

Thank you. you have my number?

Yes

Take care now You too

Bathroom is on your left

Don`t give up the day job

Of course it`s acting

Come on

You wanna break my record

Just broke my old score l got My top 1 0 spot now

We are late out on the Law top cop

How`re doing? What`s up?

He is a friend of mine

How`re you doing? l`m alright. how about you?

Pretty good

Which one you wanna be? You wanna do some

Maybe you`ll throw us A free set

2 free sets one for him one for me

what you got in the bag?

it`s all here man it`s all good

good to go

good you sure its yours

l`m just checking that Metal protector

yeah how about that

thirsty?

that`s pretty high quality shit

what the hell is this?

what the hell is going on?

ls it the police shit?

Are you the police back here

Come on put that away

Put the gun away it`s gone

lt`s all over let`s go Come on

l don`t wanna come back here With this shit

What the hell was that Bazooka?

Get up and put your hands Behind your back

You going down bitch

Ok round 2 baby

Put your weapon down right now

Put it down

Now you can get off the Camera high street

Come back here

You`re under arrest

Turn that shit off

Get that camera out of here

Are you ok?

Get that goddamn camera Out of here

l am just doing my job

What are you doing man

Get a real job

Can you make a statement

Do not break the police sanctuary

You think it`s funny

You think a police officer doing His job is funny?

lt`s funny when l move your Feet back 20 feet

Why don`t somebody come over to Tape some B role

And get kicked back at sunset

Why did you shoot the camera?

Give me all you got

l got the show it`s gonna pull your Sorry ass network

out of the rating store

you figure out how do your prosecution?

You know l don`t read

Just look at the picture

Annie go

Who was that

Detective Mitch Preston crushed Maxes camera

That`s how you put it?

Cop gunned down Maxes camera

We can sue him for that

Exactly he is a dirty Harry

He is real guess what We got him by the balls

l see you`re going with This reality show

Hoe does it differentiate cops

Did you see him?

A guy of the modern day cowboy

He is sexy he is volatile

He is a bad boy

He know how a bad boy sounds

Brat you wanna see that again

So you got this Mitch Preston

Exactly. We`ll read him

This guy is gonna make a move Without us watching

Cos he`s gonna roll again

When he does we`re Gonna be there

So what? he`s gonna Make a million dollars

No

So who gets surprised?

This is a game show Brat

He is one man out there On his own

Kicking asses and taking names

Can we give him a partner?

Yes that`s a great idea Brat

We can give him the. . . Funny minority type

Ok do we have a deal or not?

This guy is not a pilot

He is a series

Trust l`ll stick my entire Reputation on it

No offence. Your reputation

You`re still getting shit for faking That flammable baby pajamas story

You can`t tell me those exposition Things ain`t good TV shows

Cos l`m picking Fox in half an hour

Ok l`ll give you a 6 episodes commitment

Cos if l pull the pluck You`ll be out of job

We`ll all be out of job Brat

Call LAPD

Call the cameraman and shoot The crap out of this thing

l`ll call the hospital

What if the dirty Harry says no?

This is America. Everybody wants To be on television

1 0 36 alert

looks like a stolen cop for an inside job

he is very future very well-written

you read any credit news letters

a lot of these muscles that`s some fire of this kitty cop show

l gotta get down. l gotta Be part of this

Looks like You`re trying to Pass an exam

l am a cop l am a professional Actor this is right up to my alley

Your entire career consists of a couple Of lines and prescribe

Diagnosed murders

l am a one role away

l need the right role the Right part

But he has got. . .

What is that called . . .talent

l am not Samuel L Jackson but l am talented

Guess who`ll be covering that relationship

Mitch Preston nailed another Lead in this thing

That guy is in front pages

Everything is talking him

l blow his old ass of the street Every night

You`re crazy Mitch Preston

l say you wanna take your Feet off the desk

Get your feet off the desk

Where is lazy boy?

My client is a victim here

You got a very pricey lawyer Here don`t you?

Who is paying for it?

That`s privileged information

Mitch the captain asked to see You in his office when you`re done

He`s done now

This interview is over

We don`t talk; we walk

For now, yeah

Just everything you see Perfect

This place is depressing lt`s like a tomb

You want a reality

We want a reality change here

This is hideous

l am not doing it let them Find some else

Mitch they don`t want anyone else

You`re the man of the hour

All l did was shoot the goddamn Video camera

You made us look like a Bunch of savages

The network is suing us For 1 0 million dollars

What?

They said you looked like you Wanted to kill the cameraman

Maybe l should have killed him

Look Mitch

The GRV already cut the deal

You do the show they drop The suit

What

That`s extortion they can`t Do that

The public can use a PR hit You are the best detective we got

What am l supposed to do

Let them follow me around when l try To track down the weapon?

l did an episode of tuff cop once

You did one episode?

After 5 minutes you`ll forget The camera is even there

This is real work l am not an Actor. This is ridiculous

Nobody is saying you can`t do Your work

But you screwed it up now You gotta play the ball

End of story

You`ll be reporting to the Show producer . . .

Chase Renzi

ls that her real name?

l`m telling l am not taking orders From some cooked out Hollywood dickhead

l am telling not a million years That thing l won`t do

Cos that`s good

She doesn`t have a dick

Go around for yourself

She is right outside waiting For you

Better looking than l thought

We gotta bring in some color, Some light

Detective Preston, hi

OK, l can see you are busy We`ll talk tomorrow

He is not very friendly

find out where he eats make a reservation for 2

detective Preston. Chase Renzi

it`s a pleasure to meet you

l see you already ordered

Make it quick cos l got A lot of work to do

What can l get you?

Same as him

Cheese burger fries And a coke

Regular

So detective Preston Can l call you Mitch

Why don`t we just launch into A few basic questions

l don`t take them Sure you do

You wanna tell me a little About yourself

You have a girlfriend or a wife

Ex wife

A painful divorce

l got a divorce myself l know How difficult it`d be

Let`s get something very clear

l`m here cos my captain Made me come here

l have no other choice

l have no interest in you Your stupid questions

Or your silly show

Not only do l understand your resistance

l appreciate it You do huh? Good

l am making the same old bullshit Cop show you`ve seen a million times

That`s why l believe

lf You and l are honest and open up To each other

We can do something very special

l have no idea what you`re Talking about

l am talking about reality

About letting the world find out who Mitch Preston is

l look what you are looking for

You are looking for some lose Cannon cop

l am telling you right now you Are wasting your time

The audience is connected To a major wire

l am out

l am gonna call you later to discuss Your new partner

How did it go?

l am gonna need Gerry Thompson Very quickly

Was he psyched about the show?

lt was a little more difficulty Than l thought

Freeze LAPD

Bad idea scumbag

l only got 2 things bigger than my mouth

l`m gonna point it at you Right now

You wanna do this shit the Hard way

Come on bitch

Alright officer you Are nice with your. . .

You are damn right

l go by the name of Trey Sellars

A patroller

l believe it belongs to you, ma`am

Officer Chase Renzi

That was incredible

l was just doing my protecting And serving

You better get this psycho Off of me

What is that super flash

l got the situation handled here

You don`t have to do this

Police procedure 1 01

Never turn your back on the suspect

When he is not cuffed

This guy`d reach for a gun

l ain`t got no gun

l can`t do this hand cuff

Can you get this hand cuff Off me

Keep quite

You have the right to remain silent

You 2 know each other

l have never seen him ln my life

He is just another street Criminal that`s all

That`s bullshit

This clown took a stage combat Class

That`s a nice try

He is trying to whiff his way Out of the crime

Looks like a really menace society

Which one of you wants To explain

l tell you what happened

Trey gave me 50 dollars to snatch That lady

And he`s gonna pull out his gun Roll over to the hood

Bring me out beat me out

To make him look good

Ok l set the whole thing up

l set the whole thing up to make lt look like l was. . .

l was auditioning to stand out A new a partner

Your new partner

We`ve been interviewing him All morning

Better not be this moron

l`ll report you to the internal affair

What is your problem

Why are you taking everything So serious?

You should be protecting the street

Not staging a phony crime scene

Somebody`s gonna get hurt Exactly like me

l was acting a little spruce Up a little

l guess that`s no difference that What you normally do on your job

You better watch your mouth

What`re you gonna do wrap me up?

l am not gonna wrap you up l am not gonna do that

But l tell you what

Punk? l might whoop your ass ln the parking lot

Do me a favor go working on Your star scenes

Alright do me a favor

You better walk off like you Get slapped in your mouth

l bet that`s a pretty good chemistry

Amazing Really

That guy was a joke

There is no way l working With him

l don`t wanna hear it

Thanks

You`re doing this

That`s an order

l saw you on TV the other night Shooting in the neighborhood

What is going on

l was gonna call you though

Not like that l was trying To lay low

Did l give you permission to Use my gun?

l trusted you and you let Me down

You used that gun without my permission

How it worked

l got it right here

So we cool right?

We cool

l`m sorry about . . .

Don`t worry

We cool lazy boy

What was that all about?

Get down

Freeze LAPD

What am l supposed to do?

Cut

Let`s do it again

Ready

Patrolling your neighborhood On Friday

Friday night at 8

Patrolling your neighborhood Every Friday at 8

And be happy

Why should l be happy

l am patrolling the neighborhood

You`re happy cos you`re patrolling

Keep it safe Mitch

This guy is the worse actor l`ve Ever seen

You just can`t toss the cameraman

l`ll show you

The door opens

You burst in

You toss yourself around

Now you`re set

You don`t turn your head

Or you`ll lose your head

But right now he is in my way

You are getting camera tips From the DJ hooker

Nobody came through the door Like you

This guy is no detective

l am playing a detective ln the show

Let`s go do some hood Jumping

What is that

Beautiful

l am going up on the hood

What are you talking about?

lt`s the greatest TV cop Show here

You ok?

Ok Trey you try

Get loosen up

Mitch who stole the money

Look at the angle in his eyes

That slight squint

l am the man don`t mess With me

Takes a little pinkie

And he touches it

Gently on his tongue

There is a reason cops don`t taste it

Never mind

Show me that thing with Your eyebrow again

Ok l am on my way

Where are you going?

l gotta wash this shit out Of my head

And change my clothes

We have some action , Mitch?

What`d you do to my car?

Microscope camera

There is one on the steeling wheel

Another one on the glove compartment

And in the back seat

Just pretending they Aren`t even there

See you`re catching on already

See you behind in the van

You`ll right behind me?

l am on the case here

l am your partner

Unbelievable

Just listen to me don`t speak

We`re gonna be partners in the Next few weeks

There are a few things l need To tell you

First of all l got your Back covered

And l gotta know you got my covered

Ok? No doubt

When we are up there in the job

You are the only person in the World l can depend on

Not my family not anybody Just you

You got that?

lt`s the most important thing

There is no other to look at it

Let`s get it started right now

You know Mitch

Ever since l was 8 years old

l wanted to be a cop

Just like my uncle

He was on the force too

Be muscles uncle Richie

You used to come by after work

From that moment on l knew l was gonna be a cop

My uncle Richie passed away About 2 years ago

He got caught in the line Of some fire

l remember how he set me On my way

l know someway he is looking Down on me

ln a big precinct in the sky

And he is thinking

You`ve done alright by me

What the fuck has it got To do with anything?

You got the speech l got The speech

You got the speech

Hey that was the speech

Do me a favor when we get to the Crime scene

Just stay out of my way

Keep your shut, ok?

This is not your studio bullshit

This is the real deal

Can you get the camera out?

We don`t have to shoot you

Whatever you guys need

Shots blow out Whatever

You just remember 3 words

Who is in the bag

l don`t know yet

You`re thinking what l am thinking?

l serious doubt it

l am thinking a cop on the street

This is payback drug dealer Going sour

This is a classic bad guy Reputation scenario

Good thinking partner

l wanna identify one of the victims

Looks like the same gun that put Those holes in your repair shop

Fully automatic with magazines

lt`s much more trouble cos This gun doesn`t exist

What do you mean it doesn`t exist

To me this gun is like 50 foot sharp

speak English

it`s the one that everybody knows like you`ve ever seen

any idea who made it?

lt`s a custom job

My guess it`s someone out Of eastern Europe

Thanks keep your eyes open

What are doing?

Take it easy

You`re not supposed to touch anything

l didn`t touch anything

l put my foot on it

l am a cop l don`t have to let You know anything

What is going on here?

Your partner is contaminating My crime scene

l didn`t contaminate anything

l am doing the last minute Sweep of the area

Cos you never know where the crucial Piece of evidence may be hiding

Everybody start thinking

They`d put some prints on the bottles

Can l get an evidence bag For this bottle?

You might put it in

Cos l haven`t finished drinking it yet

Don`t look at me like that

l made a mistake

l thought l was one of those . . .

Why don`t you go solve Other case somewhere else

You don`t tell me what to do

l am your partner

You`re not my partner

My partner is a real cop

You better accept that l`m Your partner

l was trying to develop a report With this guy

But he wouldn`t open up

You know how hard it is to work With someone like that

l know Mitch has been more Resistant than l hoped

l think you and mitch need some Bonding for the job

You`re right we do

We need to spend some cutie Time together

2 guys hanging out Have some beer

l`ll call him to see if he Wants to hang out

Let`s not call him

Let`s just go over

To his house?

Surprise him

What the hell are you Doing here?

How hard is it for you to Say

Hey Trey nice to see you

Now what the hell are you doing here

l figured we got out from the Wrong foot the other day

So l brought some Chinese food

Get to know each other Get a kinda bond a little bit

Bond

How`d you get my address?

Don`t be rude now?

Do l have to?

Can we come in please?

lt`s got a little stinky Smell

What is that smell?

ls it here your actual Living area?

This is my back cave like it`s Mentioned in Beverly hill

My research tells me cops usually Live in distinctive places

You know a trailer on the beach A block down town

That kinda thing

l see your research shows that huh?

So where does he live?

l live with a producer in Hollywood

lt`s very unique

We can make this work

What a crack head made This cup

lt`s not visually exciting enough

The show is to let the audience know All aspects of your life

When they come home with you

They wanna spend time in a place

That speaks to your personality

lt does speak of my personality

l think you need some time Away from the job

l think l just found the crack head`s Work shop

This is what the smell all Over the place

You`re full of surprises

How long have you been Doing this?

6 years give and take

we haven`t done any bond yet

l got work to do

Let`s go

Check this out

Must be some Hollywood dickhead

Not back for a side kick huh?

You know a real cop will never Slide across the hood

Cos it`s not police procedure?

Cos your slip will cost A paint job

l was trying to detect

l failed twice

What makes you feel you Won`t fail the third time

l figure you`d give me some tip On the detective front

l`ll give you some tips on how To face the camera

Tips like what

Pleasure clothes, not some ugly Shit you wear

l`ll keep that in mind

You got any tips for me

Feel free don`t be shy

What is the tip?

Don`t stand in my way or l`ll shoot you

Welcome to the America window On your rope

What is this?

lt just makes your place face More camera

l think it`s real in the city Of your precinct

ls this what you do the make up And hair over here

You have to see this

ls this my desk

That`s your desk

Don`t change it

This is the confession room

You guys can talk about it

Anything you wanna know

Job, each other Your sex life

l mean only if you want to

Direct to the camera`

No thanks

This is the integral part Of the show

Just spend 5 minutes a day Here

All you have to do is sit And share

You gotta learn how to Turn on your hot line

l talked to Brat he loves The promo footage

He said you guys need a catch phrase

l wish l was dead

You guys got need a catch phrase

When l am about to make a bust

When do you have to make a bust

Don`t tell me

When l need to get myself Psyched about the moment

Just take 3 deep breath

Ok Trey it`s show time

You say that?

That`s the stupidest thing l Ever heard

What is so stupid about ?

You know what ?

Don`t say it?

l have to say it Mitch

lt`s amazing that`s not just a Catch phrase

That`s the name of our show

See that

lt`s not stupid at all it`s The name of the show

Say it again for the camera

You gotta get this

Show time

lt`s just natural when you are ln this situation

You gotta start thinking why you Wanna be like that

Getting a partner

A younger guy more charismatic

Kicking you have some fun

l see Wesley Snipe type all the time

You find me in the Wesley Snipe type

The whole show just slows Down just a bit

Cos l am working out you know

Go ahead make my day

l am taking the camera

Mitch is not

That`s it basically l am Taking care of mine

He is not

Look at this

5 minutes up yet?

lt`s show time?

What do you look at that for, Magnum?

l`m looking at this, l know what`s coming when l`m talking to his guy.

Because he`s sitting in the county, all loathed up.

Jail house setting. Now, that could be great for the next episode.

Oh, no. Forget it. l`m the one that put him there.

Forget it.

Well , this guy, Lerun, he`s the only guy who`s going to tell us what`s going on with this guy.

l appreciate that. But you are not listening.

He won`t talk to me. l had already tried.

Maybe he`s going talk to me?

lf you are wearing a badge, what makes you think he`s going talk to you?

l won`t go in with a badge.

l won`t go in like bulldog like you did.

l`m going to talk to him . You know, in character.

ln character. That`s a great idea. You mean like undercover?

Yeah, undercover. Get the guy, catch him off guard.

Have him to think of somebody else?

Character. What kind of a character?

l don`t know. l`ll come up with something.

Lerun, how are you doing, my man? Thank you for giving us the time.

l`m Trey Sellars from Justice Channel .

Nice to meet you, brother.

Have a seat, please.

You are being strong?

Yeah.

Have a seat. Thanks for coming down, man.

You alright?

l have never heard of Justice Channel .

But let me give you some background on the network.

The Justice Channel is devoted shinning the light

on helpless innocent victims like yourself.

He`s got some talent, Mitch. Come on, he`s just need some direction.

No, he`s wasting our time.

ls that a new shirt? lt looks good.

. . .what`s the shit that you are going to get me out of here, man?

Well , not me, brother. lt`s the TV show.

l`m hosting the TV show. That`s why we got the cameras here.

l`m hosting the show called Frame for the Justice Channel .

Let me tell you about the show.

What we do is fight like brothers like yourself.

Put a light on your situation.

People outside will see what our brothers have to say.

And what happens hopefully a grand root campaign got started

and to get you all out of here. Do you know what l`m saying?

Like Mandela.

You know what l`m saying. Similar to Mandela.

You ain`t that noble, l read your file, l meant you ain`t no Nielson.

You are Lerun. Hey, man, that Mandela`s shit stink too.

Trey, it`s Mitch. l`m going talk to you through this.

That`s what l thought.

Say what?

When you speak, you don`t have to talk too loud. Because we are going to pick everything.

Should my lawyer be here for something like this, man?

Oh, no. That`s the wrong thing.

That`s the wrong thing to do. Let me explain something to you.

By now, research has shown that people don`t want to hear from lawyers.

They don`t want to hear from lawyers. They don`t want to hear people talking for others.

They want to hear you talking straight from your mouth.

They ain`t going to get you out of prison. Do you understand that?

There ain`t cops here, there ain`t lawyers here.

Just you and me talking here. That`s it, brother, right?

Brother. l`m your brother.

Okay, take it slow now.

Nice and easy. Nice and slow. He`s still on defense.

Alright?

You tell me what l want to hear.

You and Lazy Boy got this gun from somebody?

You worked for the same person?

What`s his name??

Who`s your boss??

Who are you working for??

Lazy Boy. What the hell is this, man?

What kind of a reporter are you, man?

Moron that didn`t tip-toe the truth, Lerun?

Back off?

And l will not back off until l find out the truth?

Listen to me, don`t let him sailing your black ass down the river.

You can say ass on TV?

This is a cable TV. l can say whatever that l want.

Let me ask you a question, Lerun.

Did they tell you to plea bargain?

Take the hit. Do the time?

That`s what they said to you, ain`t it?

Yes, that`s what they said.

Now, let`s see if he can get the names out.

But it`s time, Lerun. lt`s time.

lt`s time to shine the light on who`s really behind this justice.

Who`s the puppet master? Who`s pushing your button?

You know what l`m saying?

Who`s time that you are doing?

You are doing somebody`s time.

While you are in here, he`s out on the street smelling the sweet smell of freedom .

Tasting it.

Yeah, what do you smell?

Ass.

Ass, and flea, and tension, and stress.

You know what l`m saying, brother? That ain`t for you.

Look in that camera.

Look in that camera right now.

Make a connection.

Look right into the lens and say who`s supposed to be in here instead of you.

Let the people know, get the people involved.

Let the people feel what you are feeling, brother.

You know what l`m saying.

l`m right here with you. l`m right here with you.

All the people at the TV land.

And mama, l`m coming home soon--

Your baby will be home soon, mama. Will be home soon.

Yes.

The man, the culprit that took me off college,

put me on the streets, do his dirty works,

he shits on my freedom , is none other--

l`m sorry.

This is an emotional moment, l get caught of it.

But when l know that you are going to give the lead--

l love that. Come on, tell it.

than Marcus. Caesar Marcus?

His son?

Hope you are watching, bitch?

That`s right. You did the right thing.

Find out where he is.

You are going down, baby.

You made that connection. l can feel that. l can see the emotion.

l can see the grand swell .

When people see this, they are going to get rattled up.

l can tell that.

Now, where would a guy like Marcus, where would he be kicking?

You are trying to get your brother killed, man.

Not at all . You are taking it the wrong way.

We are putting it for the viewers.

Because we are not going to point no fingers on nobody.

We are not going to say, Oh, Marcus is there.

We are going to say,

if you don`t want to run into a person like Marcus, don`t go to this place.

He might be in a place like this.

Okay.

You know what l`m saying?

That`s how you got in here, right?

Alright then, look into the camera.

Think about the people. Think about the babies, the children.

You know what l`m saying? Save the babies, brother.

Save the babies, brother. Save the babies.

People, and children and TV men and the kids around the world.

Don`t be like me?

And if you want to stay out of homes and be away,

don`t go to Club Copper Logger on Figger Lane.

Don`t go that place. Bad place?

He`s just lucky.

Don`t go. Don`t go.

You have done the right thing. You have done the right thing.

Do you feel good?

Oh, shit, man.

l can tell that you had made connection.

The weight is off my shoulder.

Yes, the weight is off your shoulder.

You`re going down, bitch. l`ve got back up now.

Hey, that`s a wrap.

Come on, Mitch.

So, now it`s time for us to get down my story.

Talk about where l`m from . Where`s my beginning.

My mama grew in a corn field. And my grandma was a stripper.

Hold it. Tell you what, why don`t you save all that for the Oprah Winfrey show, okay?

l`m sure she`ll like to hear all that.

Hey, Mitch, we are going to the club tonight.

Now, what?

How are you doing?

ls the mike going? ls the mike good?

Sorry to bother everybody. l`m looking for Mr. Marcus.

Who is Mr. Marcus here?

Anybody knows where Mr. Marcus is? Mr. Marcus?

Right there.

Yes. Thank you so much. See how easy that was?

Don`t even bother to get up. We`ll come over there to you.

Sorry, l always want to do that. Be right with you, Mr. Marcus.

lnteresting approach.

Yeah, l was just doing my part.

The button-camera is a good idea.

Yeah. Yeah. l told you.

Mr. Marcus?

Yes.

l`m detective Mitch Preston, LAPD .

l`m here to ask you some question.

l`m in the middle of dinner.

Well , l hope this doesn`t ruin your appetite.

l`ve got a strong stomach.

Who is he?

One of your employees. But you know that.

l own a club, a lot of people work for me.

But l don`t know this guy.

What about this guy?

What his name?

He`s big.

Probably big enough to go through those bullet proof vest that you guys wearing.

Am l right?

Bullet proof vest, huh?

And you are?

You can`t miss me. l`m across the street, 40 feet high.

You are the TV cops.

Alright. What`s your line again?

lt`s show time.

lt`s show time. lt`s show time.

l told you that it`s a good line.

You see, my friend here interested in making some arrest in here.

And then what?

What would you do?

Trial me in the people`s court.

l have been watching your punk ass, 247, slick.

Are you going to arrest me?

Because if you are not, get out?

Or, l will have to call the real cops.

Hey, we are the real cops.

Sure you are.

You don`t think we are real cops?

l think you are a joke.

lt`s alright. lt`s alright. He can not touch me.

l can`t touch you this time. But next time l drag you out here in cuffs.

l guarantee it.

See, l told you. They are a joke.

Right?

lt`s a joke.

lt`s a Show Time joke.

Show time?

That`s great TV?

You realize we can take this car to Sunset Boulevard

and go meet some girls that wouldn`t normally look twice at us.

Yeah, l pass.

What`s you big rush. You wanna go home and heat up some dinner plate or something?

Just stop the car.

Alright. Okay.

Alright, l`ll leave you alone.

What`s this?

Your picture-resume?

Put that back there, you don`t have to see that.

l just want to look at it.

All these special skills must come in handy, huh?

Look, l`m not sure about these movies,

this Beach Party Bunzo?

Yes, it`s a semi-independent film .

Very low budget semi-independent.

Planet Golfan 31 A. D .

lt`s kind of light-porn. l don`t want to go into it.

What`s all this? You draft for the village people?

Hey, be careful .

l`m thinking of adding pottery-making into that list.

You are not in pottery.

You know, all the things that we make and do at the end of the day.

Why would somebody come over and throw a pot?

lf l tell you, would you drop the subject?

Please tell me because l`m dying of curiosity.

My marriage counselor`s idea. My marriage run into rocks.

He said to take up a hobby.

That`s it?

That`s it.

How are you so crabby at it?

lt`s kind of like you and police work.

l never took it so seriously.

Can l ask you something?

Yeah.

Why do you become a cop anyway?

Because l was a shitty waiter.

l got the car.

You can mind my mouth too. Watch. Watch.

Yeah, l`m impressed.

Thanks for the ride. l`ll see you.

lt`s cool . We got a chance to do a little bonding, don`t you think?

No. Not really.

What`s the matter?

l never leave my lights on.

Surprise?

What the hell did you do to my place?

You don`t like it?

No? l don`t like it.

Maybe we should call Don Johnson and tell him to find his apartment?

l don`t know what you and your band were thinking.

But l want it back the way it was. Now? Now?

Okay, Mitch. Just relax.

Because we didn`t touch the pottery room .

We just want to give a little bit sex appeal .

Sex appeal?

lt looks like a gay porno star lives here.

Yeah. And they are, right here.

Okay, you know what, Trey? Just stop.

You got a lot of nerve, ladies.

You just can`t come in here and change the whole place without my permission.

You don`t have the right to do this.

And what is this? This dog? Get this dog out of here.

lt`s not mine. lt`s yours, Mitch.

Mine?

l don`t want some dog. What is this?

He`s not just any dog.

He used to be a drug-sniffer in the K-9 unit.

He looks like a drug addict.

Mitch, we want him to make you look more sympathetic.

Hey, an entire K-9 isn`t going to make him look sympathetic.

You want me to look sympathetic?

Get all the shit out here and get all my stuff back.

Then l`ll be real sympathetic, until then, l`m not going to be sympathetic.

How can you say no to that face, Mitch?

l can say no very easy.

No, Powder. Get out?

Hey, what`s the matter with you? Don`t be like that to the dog.

lt`s a dog, man.

Hey, come here, pal . You are a good boy, aren`t you?

Hey, maybe Mitch is right. Maybe you should get rid of the dog.

Well , l don`t know. l like his instinct.

Watch your ass, Powder.

Okay. Move it?

Jesus? Dispatch, this is armor--

Go? Go?

Go?

Okay. Annie, get the cam shot.

Julio. Go?

That`s definitely our gun.

Damn? We lost the picture?

Slow down?

There he is.

l got him ? l got him ?

Watch it? Watch it?

Annex, you are getting this?

Yeah?

Come on. Jump?

Jump? Mitch?

Jump?

Jump?

Mitch, you gotta jump?

Come on? Jump now? Come on? Do it?

That was some good hoot-jump.

You alright?

Yeah, you okay?

l think two drops of my pee came out.

You are off the show, Sellars.

You are busted back on patrols.

Well , show time is over.

We are screwed.

Just got back on our tape, top cop.

Being a police office isn`t what the S EAL`s doing.

You have been a cop for 28 years.

l never see you do anything like this.

You put the entire city at risk.

l expected a trade, you know about that, Mitch.

lt`s just escalated.

lt`s over. Mitch, it`s over.

Chief.

l`m pulling the plug of the show.

Good. Good. Now, l can finally get back to work.

No, you can`t. You are off the case.

What?

The PR department has a heart attack.

Yes. This footage is worse than when you shot the news camera.

Listen, if Marcus gets more of those guns on the street,

we`ll be far more worse than what we are now.

You ruined it, Mitch.

Now, l`m relieving you from your duty

pending on a full investigation.

Oh, come on. Come on.

You want me to turn in my gun and my badge?

l mean, come on.

Mitch, l just want you to go home for a few days until the shit storm is settled.

Now, what am l supposed to do at home?

l don`t know, Mitch. Read a book.

Watch some TV. Do your pottery project.

What?

What?

Chase, he`s checking the pecker`s cam .

There`s a camera there in each one of those eyes.

What? ln my woodpecker?

He better not break it.

l told them no camera.

l hope you got all of this.

You hear me? l hope you got it all .

Huh? l hope you got it all .

Great. He broke it.

Sorry. l will get you another one.

You got to talk to this guy, Mitch. He hates cameras or something.

We are here to take the dog.

The dog stays here.

But we are under orders.

Take that he`s a police officer.

And if you touch him , that will constitute an assault,

and l`ll be forced to shoot you.

Good boy, Powder. Good boy.

Nobody`s taking you away from me.

Trey, forget show time, okay?

We`ll do our own buddy cop show.

l got this treat worked out in my head.

l got this treat. Check this out.

You are Nick Lodd. And l`m John Lark.

l`m Nick who?

Nick Lodd.

Nick Lodd.

You are Nick Lodd. And l`m John Lark.

Put them together, we are Lark And Lodd.

Lark And Lodd. We are the baldest cop all that will be.

ls that hot?

ls that hot shit or what?

Listen to me, George Clooney has 1 8 shows failed before he hit big with E. R.

You see.

l tell you, it`s not just the show, man.

l don`t want to go back to be a guy that`s put on a precaution table.

l just want to feel this detective thing.

Listen to me.

You have heat on your acting career now.

lf you are not going strike while iron`s hot.

lt`s going to pass you by.

Hey, man, whatever.

What?

l`m going to see this last episode Show Time.

You are off the show, Sellars.

You are busted back to patrol .

What happens to Mitch?

l saw the tape. He`s relieved from duty.

Look, Mitch is my partner.

Alright, out on the street, he`s the only person that l can depend on.

Not my family, not my friends, just him .

That`s beautiful , Sellars. What the hell that you want me to do?

Now, if he`s relieved from his duty, then l should be relieved too.

And if you want to play it that way, then you are relieved too.

Okay, l`m be leaving.

Okay.

You want my gun and badge?

Get the hell out of here.

Alright.

Yeah. Who`s this?

Yeah. lt`s me. Mitch.

Are you watching the show?

No. l`m not watching. lt`s ancient history, you know.

lt`s new day, new way.

Yeah, me too.

So, what`s up, man? Why are you calling.

l just want to tell you that what you did was a pretty stand up thing.

You should take that detective exam .

l`m there for you, you know, if you need anything.

You got questions, whatever, you know, l`ll be around.

You think l`m going to make a great detective now?

You will make an okay-detective.

l tell you what, let me get that on my answering machine.

No. l`m going to hang up.

No. No. No. No.

Do you think you can make me a pair of the shitty mugs that you are making?

You got to be kidding.

Hey, relax. l`m just joking, man.

No. Not you. l just saw something on the show.

So you are watching the show.

Yeah, yeah. l`m watching it.

l`m watching it too. What did you see?

l think l just saw Charlie Harts towards the department`s ballistic.

That`s the guy you asked to talk to our guy, Lazy Boy.

The only think is that l got to see again.

Don`t worry.

l`m recording it now. l record them all .

l make my own set.

Why l`m not surprised?

Let me rewind this thing up again.

Hey, it is that guy Charlie Harts.

lt is.

lt is definitely him .

What the hell was he doing with Marcus?

Where`s the light?

We have definitely found our gun maker.

Son of bitch.

No, shit.

What happened to the good old days where people just grow pots in their garage?

How about we start 69 his last call?

lt`s Mandy. May l help you?

Yeah, Mandy. This is detective Mitch Preston with the LAPD .

You mean the Mitch?? The LAPD??

That`s me.

Oh, my God?

Now, listen, Mandy. Calm down. Calm down.

We just need want some information about a truck.

Did you rent one to a Charles Harts?

Oh, l`ll just check, honey.

As a matter of a fact, Mr. Harts just picked one this morning.

He did?

Was there a tracking device on that vehicle?

Yes, Mitch. There was.

There was.

ls Trey Sellars there too?

Can l speak to him?

Can you put him on, please?

lt`s Show Time?

Alright, man, thanks.

They got a hit of the truck. lt`s downtown by the Mitchell Hotel .

What`s going on there?

Big gun show.

Nice guns.

Come on to the back. lt`s okay.

Thanks for the call .

Did you find that footage?

Have your got your button-cam .

l got it.

Alright, good luck.

Yeah, well , l wanna help.

Of course l need an ending for the final episode.

Excuse me. My name is Chase Renzi from hit series, Show Time.

That`s sweet. That`s sweet, thank you.

l`m here today because Shot Time needs your help.

We believe these two men are in the building.

They are armed and extremely dangerous.

Hey, there they are?

Don`t move?

Holy shit?

Mitch? Mitch?

Listen, why don`t let me make us a nice little demand?

Get in there?

l can help you, you know?

Okay. Calm down.

Let`s move.

Take it easy, alright?

Take it easy. Hey, hey, hey.

Marcus, you got no way out.

l got a list of demand.

Well , let us in. So that you can tell us what your demands are.

Alright.

But first you slide your weapons in here.

What did you say? What did he say?

l don`t know.

What?

l said to slide your weapons in here.

He said--

What did you say?

What`s the matter? You don`t understand English?

Slide in your weapons.

Oh, slide in the weapons.

lt`s alright. l got backup.

Guys, hold on. l got to change the tape.

You are thinking what l`m thinking.

Yeah, l am .

Mitch, no, no. What are you doing?

Did you hear me?

Hold on?

Don`t do that. Oh, man?

l got a list of demands.

You see those news choppers out there?

We are doing live. We got a camera man out here.

So you can give your list of demand. You can tell them what you want.

Okay. Throw in your weapons.

Here they come.

Clear?

Okay. There are the guns.

Stay there?

Okay. Easy. Easy.

Stay there?

Okay. Alright. Just take it easy.

Where`s the camera man?

He`s afraid. So he stays out there.

We don`t want to put anybody in danger.

So, you know, detective Preston is going to do the shooting here.

l do.

Have you ever been on TV before?

Okay, it`s really simple.

All you have to do is to look into the red light,

into the lens, tell the people what`s on your mind.

Okay?

You got that all lined up?

Okay.

Yeah.

Let`s shoot.

Okay. Alright.

lt`s Show Time.

Mitch?

You okay?

Mitch?

Trey? Trey? Where are you?

Over here?

What are you doing? What are you doing?

Hold on?

Oh, God?

lt`s your turn for the camera.

Get that camera out of here?

Keep that camera right where it is?

You`ll deal with it, girl . Go.

What`s going on with your new recruits here?

They are not bonding like the way we`re bonding.

Yeah, they don`t have that special chemistry that we have.

No, they certainly don`t.

Which is why the two of you are going to be the guest star in the next episode.

Kind of showing them how to do it, huh?

No way, not in a million years.

You know, he means yes.

l know he means yes. l`m working on it.

l love you.

See you.

So nice. Look at what you get. Look at what l get?

Nothing.

Don`t go anywhere. Here. Here.

l made you something for passing that detective exam , you know?

Oh, man. That`s so nice of you.

Oh, Mitch, that`s nice.

What is that?

What the hell is it?

lt`s a loose-change dish.

Oh, yeah. Of course, it`s a loose-change dish.

Of course it is. lt`s just l haven`t see this level of craftsmanship

since back in the kindergarten days.

lt is appreciated, partner.

Thank you.

Detective Sellars. Detective Preston.

Your suspect is in the interrogation room .

Yeah. Be right with you.

l like the sound of it. Detective Sellars.

lt adds a ring to it, doesn`t it?