All language subtitles for Schitts Creek - 05x04 - The Dress.WEB-TBS.English.C.orig.Addic7ed.com

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,662 --> 00:00:05,629 Johnny: Moira! The water's ice cold! 2 00:00:05,730 --> 00:00:07,666 How long were you in here?! 3 00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:09,864 John, you know my ritual! 4 00:00:10,007 --> 00:00:12,609 Five to ten minutes to let the water warm, 5 00:00:12,634 --> 00:00:13,820 there's the initial scrub, 6 00:00:13,845 --> 00:00:15,125 followed by the deep conditioner, 7 00:00:15,150 --> 00:00:16,850 which must set for 20 minutes, 8 00:00:17,015 --> 00:00:18,916 and finally, the double rinse cycle. 9 00:00:19,092 --> 00:00:21,126 Well, we can't be doing that anymore, sweetheart! 10 00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:23,353 Our water bill is going through the roof! 11 00:00:23,454 --> 00:00:26,789 Yes, painfully aware of our budgetary constraints, John. 12 00:00:26,890 --> 00:00:30,503 I'm currently reading a magazine from July, 1987. 13 00:00:30,527 --> 00:00:32,362 Where do you even find these? 14 00:00:32,463 --> 00:00:33,640 Alexis: So I just signed for this, 15 00:00:33,664 --> 00:00:35,164 so does that mean I get to keep it? 16 00:00:35,189 --> 00:00:37,658 - Also, what is it? - Oh my God, it's here. 17 00:00:37,835 --> 00:00:39,921 - Give it some room, Alexis! - Give what some room? 18 00:00:39,947 --> 00:00:41,680 What exactly are you getting 19 00:00:41,706 --> 00:00:44,040 shipped from "Harrod's of London?" 20 00:00:44,142 --> 00:00:46,170 Family, I'd like to you to meet a dear friend 21 00:00:46,203 --> 00:00:48,154 whom I've yet to meet. 22 00:00:48,179 --> 00:00:52,015 Give a warm dobrodosli to my red carpet gown 23 00:00:52,040 --> 00:00:53,774 for the "Crows" premiere. 24 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,429 Moira, you didn't tell me they'd set a date 25 00:00:56,454 --> 00:00:58,255 - for the premiere! - Yes! 26 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,076 I've been told definitively it will happen, 27 00:01:01,100 --> 00:01:03,802 and I quote, "ideally sometime this year." 28 00:01:03,828 --> 00:01:05,373 Okay, there must be some mistake here. 29 00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:07,798 This is valued at $3,700. 30 00:01:07,823 --> 00:01:11,176 What?! $3,700? 31 00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:13,302 What designer gave you that kind of discount? 32 00:01:13,405 --> 00:01:15,805 Sadly, it's not custom this time around, Alexis. 33 00:01:15,906 --> 00:01:18,075 Mommy had to shop off the rack. 34 00:01:18,176 --> 00:01:19,843 Fortunately, I discovered something called 35 00:01:19,867 --> 00:01:23,256 - a "promo code." - This is a reduced price? 36 00:01:23,281 --> 00:01:25,367 Yes. Discount couture, do you believe it? 37 00:01:25,391 --> 00:01:27,626 I'm surprised she made it through customs. 38 00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,763 I once passed off a mini horse and three Guinea pigs 39 00:01:29,787 --> 00:01:32,256 as service animals, so anything is possible. 40 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,078 Perfect a spot of tea for the unveiling. 41 00:01:35,103 --> 00:01:37,918 I was actually just boiling water for my bath. 42 00:01:37,942 --> 00:01:39,573 Does this mean I should start thinking about my look 43 00:01:39,597 --> 00:01:40,798 for the premiere? 44 00:01:40,823 --> 00:01:42,876 TBD on the guest list, Alexis, 45 00:01:42,901 --> 00:01:45,069 but I love your enthusiasm. 46 00:01:45,093 --> 00:01:46,828 Box? Box. 47 00:01:48,466 --> 00:01:53,069 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com -- 48 00:01:54,846 --> 00:01:56,222 David: I'm so glad we're doing this. 49 00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,525 We never get to spend quality time together. 50 00:01:58,549 --> 00:02:00,760 Also, I've been neglecting my wellness journey, 51 00:02:00,784 --> 00:02:03,025 so the cherry blossoms opening when we both have time off 52 00:02:03,049 --> 00:02:04,683 is really ticking a lot of boxes for me. 53 00:02:04,789 --> 00:02:06,634 Are you sure the cherry blossoms are even open now? 54 00:02:06,658 --> 00:02:09,044 I mean, I thought that wasn't for another couple weeks. 55 00:02:09,068 --> 00:02:10,937 Mm, no, no, I called the botanical gardens, 56 00:02:10,961 --> 00:02:12,528 and had the girl send me a photo. 57 00:02:12,629 --> 00:02:14,865 I learned the hard way from my last trip to Japan. 58 00:02:14,889 --> 00:02:17,811 Showed up, no cherry blossoms, turned right back around, 59 00:02:17,836 --> 00:02:19,169 it was such a waste. 60 00:02:19,193 --> 00:02:22,181 Wow, that's a lot of pressure to put on cherry blossoms. 61 00:02:22,206 --> 00:02:24,408 Well, why else would we be driving to Elm Valley? 62 00:02:24,432 --> 00:02:25,900 Ooh! 63 00:02:28,909 --> 00:02:31,841 Why else would we be driving to Elm Valley, Stevie? 64 00:02:32,661 --> 00:02:35,728 The only other reason I can think of is that... 65 00:02:35,753 --> 00:02:37,587 Emir might be there. 66 00:02:37,764 --> 00:02:39,966 The hotel reviewer that... 67 00:02:39,990 --> 00:02:41,792 You had the dirty motel sex with? 68 00:02:41,893 --> 00:02:44,161 Well, when you put it that way it sorta cheapens it, 69 00:02:44,186 --> 00:02:47,206 but yes, he might also be there, 70 00:02:47,231 --> 00:02:49,098 reviewing a hotel. 71 00:02:49,668 --> 00:02:51,478 But not the hotel that we're going to, 72 00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:53,503 because that would be a crazy coincidence. 73 00:02:56,699 --> 00:02:58,709 Sorry, I knew you wouldn't come 74 00:02:58,734 --> 00:03:00,687 if you thought you were gonna be a third wheel. 75 00:03:00,718 --> 00:03:01,985 Okay well, sucks for him, 76 00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:03,990 because I only booked the private garden tour 77 00:03:04,014 --> 00:03:05,270 for two people. 78 00:03:05,304 --> 00:03:07,224 - Okay, I'm just gonna say it. - Please don't. 79 00:03:07,394 --> 00:03:09,361 I don't think we're gonna go... 80 00:03:09,387 --> 00:03:11,087 - No! - To the botanical gardens. 81 00:03:11,188 --> 00:03:13,189 Wow! So this is an abduction, then. 82 00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:17,503 I am a single woman driving way out of town 83 00:03:17,528 --> 00:03:20,216 to meet a guy I don't know very well! 84 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:21,373 Well... 85 00:03:21,399 --> 00:03:23,466 Once he shows up I'm sure you can still go 86 00:03:23,491 --> 00:03:25,126 to the botanical gardens! 87 00:03:25,151 --> 00:03:28,004 I'm not going to the botanical gardens by myself! 88 00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:30,431 What, am I gonna walk around, and admire the cherry blossoms 89 00:03:30,455 --> 00:03:32,591 alone, like some pervert?! 90 00:03:33,153 --> 00:03:34,653 So if you're gonna meet this guy there, 91 00:03:34,679 --> 00:03:36,438 there where am I staying? I don't do couches! 92 00:03:36,463 --> 00:03:38,031 I got you a separate room. 93 00:03:38,224 --> 00:03:39,859 A separate room, okay. 94 00:03:39,884 --> 00:03:41,617 So this has all been premeditated, then. 95 00:03:41,795 --> 00:03:43,663 You know what, I hope for your sake, 96 00:03:43,687 --> 00:03:45,168 that they have cherry blossoms in prison. 97 00:03:49,426 --> 00:03:50,961 Hey Shannon, what's up? 98 00:03:51,062 --> 00:03:53,563 Ted's in his office, you can just let yourself in. 99 00:03:53,588 --> 00:03:54,788 Yikes. 100 00:03:54,813 --> 00:03:56,747 Okay, thank you. 101 00:04:00,443 --> 00:04:03,539 Hey, I know you're really swamped today, 102 00:04:03,564 --> 00:04:05,098 so I brought you this. 103 00:04:05,276 --> 00:04:06,877 - You can thank me later. - Oh! 104 00:04:06,901 --> 00:04:08,436 That's decaf, right? 105 00:04:08,612 --> 00:04:11,024 No, that detail actually slipped my mind, 106 00:04:11,049 --> 00:04:12,915 so maybe I'll just take it. 107 00:04:13,093 --> 00:04:15,512 Oh, almost a sweet gesture, Alexis, thank you. 108 00:04:15,537 --> 00:04:17,096 You know who's not sweet? 109 00:04:17,668 --> 00:04:19,165 Old Shan out there. 110 00:04:19,266 --> 00:04:21,668 Okay, first of all Alexis, she's not old, 111 00:04:21,692 --> 00:04:22,932 we went to vet school together. 112 00:04:22,957 --> 00:04:24,702 And she's actually been really helpful this week. 113 00:04:25,106 --> 00:04:26,338 To you. 114 00:04:26,896 --> 00:04:29,442 I'm just gonna say it, Ted. Most people are a fan. 115 00:04:29,466 --> 00:04:31,920 So when someone's not, it's usually on them. 116 00:04:31,946 --> 00:04:34,447 All right, fine, I, I didn't wanna bring this up, 117 00:04:34,471 --> 00:04:37,661 because it is so not a thing. 118 00:04:38,146 --> 00:04:41,153 But well, when you and I were broken up, 119 00:04:41,178 --> 00:04:44,615 there was... one night where Shannon and I... 120 00:04:44,716 --> 00:04:46,983 Oh my God! Ted! 121 00:04:47,009 --> 00:04:48,442 We hooked up. 122 00:04:48,466 --> 00:04:50,492 Yes you did, you little smooch monster! 123 00:04:50,521 --> 00:04:52,088 Well, we did a lot more than that. 124 00:04:52,113 --> 00:04:53,832 I'm sorry, should I be jealous? 125 00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:55,935 No! No, no, no, no, no. It was just a one-time thing. 126 00:04:55,959 --> 00:04:59,028 - Oh, no. - No, not "oh no," 127 00:04:59,053 --> 00:05:01,708 No, I stopped it from going any further. 128 00:05:01,733 --> 00:05:03,744 Because I thought we were just better off as friends. 129 00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:05,310 Beep, beep! 130 00:05:05,336 --> 00:05:07,822 Paging Dr. Casanova J. Heartbreaker. 131 00:05:07,848 --> 00:05:09,983 Anyway, that's probably why she seems like 132 00:05:10,007 --> 00:05:12,309 she's a little unsure about where she stands with you. 133 00:05:12,410 --> 00:05:13,920 Well, thank you for telling me that, Ted. 134 00:05:13,944 --> 00:05:16,130 That makes so much more sense than her not liking me. 135 00:05:16,156 --> 00:05:18,024 Well, I'm glad that we could clear that up. 136 00:05:18,125 --> 00:05:21,461 Okay, well, I will see you for lunch then, 137 00:05:21,485 --> 00:05:22,754 "Doctor". 138 00:05:22,779 --> 00:05:25,456 Yeah, it's funny because I actually am a doctor. 139 00:05:25,481 --> 00:05:26,832 So am I... 140 00:05:27,098 --> 00:05:29,867 No, you're not. Just-just Ted. 141 00:05:30,694 --> 00:05:32,495 Roland: Hey, Johnny! 142 00:05:32,521 --> 00:05:36,018 Johnny! I have some good news for you, my friend. 143 00:05:36,043 --> 00:05:37,843 Well, I could use some good news, 144 00:05:37,869 --> 00:05:40,002 I might have to take out a mortgage on the dress 145 00:05:40,028 --> 00:05:42,447 - my wife just bought. - Well, uh... 146 00:05:42,473 --> 00:05:44,518 you know that little hot water problem you're having? 147 00:05:44,543 --> 00:05:45,543 Yeah? 148 00:05:45,569 --> 00:05:47,545 Well, I've come up with the perfect excuse for you 149 00:05:47,571 --> 00:05:50,223 to buy yourself a brand new hot water heater! 150 00:05:50,661 --> 00:05:52,391 Still waiting for the good news. 151 00:05:52,417 --> 00:05:54,418 Well, the good news is that my friend Terry 152 00:05:54,442 --> 00:05:56,409 can replace the whole thing for you. 153 00:05:56,454 --> 00:05:57,822 - Replace it? - Mhmm. 154 00:05:58,055 --> 00:05:59,588 Well, how much is that gonna cost? 155 00:05:59,613 --> 00:06:02,100 I did a little negotiating with Terry, 156 00:06:02,125 --> 00:06:04,560 and he says you can have it for $4,200. 157 00:06:04,737 --> 00:06:06,505 - $4200?! - Right. 158 00:06:06,531 --> 00:06:08,165 Unless you want it installed. 159 00:06:08,341 --> 00:06:11,110 Well, of course I want it installed, Roland! 160 00:06:11,134 --> 00:06:12,869 Okay, well, that's gonna be $5,500. 161 00:06:12,894 --> 00:06:14,293 Okay, you know what? 162 00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:17,016 I can't afford to throw away money like that. 163 00:06:17,136 --> 00:06:19,386 Oh, come on, this coming from the guy who was just bragging 164 00:06:19,410 --> 00:06:22,079 about taking out a mortgage to pay for his wife's dress! 165 00:06:22,103 --> 00:06:23,956 - I wasn't bragging! - Ohhh... 166 00:06:23,981 --> 00:06:25,415 Moira: Well, hello! 167 00:06:25,439 --> 00:06:27,660 Is it just me, or is there a faint scent of honeysuckle 168 00:06:27,685 --> 00:06:28,918 in the air? 169 00:06:29,096 --> 00:06:31,396 Yeah, it might be Johnny's aftershave. 170 00:06:31,422 --> 00:06:34,057 I'm-I'm sorry, it is pungent. 171 00:06:34,550 --> 00:06:37,036 And John, I tried to hang up my gown, 172 00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:39,562 and thank God I caught it before that silly curtain rod 173 00:06:39,588 --> 00:06:41,355 came crashing down! 174 00:06:41,379 --> 00:06:43,209 Don't worry about it, we'll get you a new one. 175 00:06:43,233 --> 00:06:45,369 As soon we get uh, "El Tightwad" here 176 00:06:45,394 --> 00:06:47,093 to loosen up the purse strings. 177 00:06:47,119 --> 00:06:49,081 John, give this man a raise! 178 00:06:49,106 --> 00:06:52,466 And when dear, did our room become so moist? 179 00:06:52,776 --> 00:06:55,894 I'm off to get a dehumidifier, but I will see you at lunch. 180 00:07:06,689 --> 00:07:07,980 Oh, is that him? 181 00:07:09,127 --> 00:07:11,327 - No. - Okay. 182 00:07:12,329 --> 00:07:14,173 - What about the person... - David, I would tell you 183 00:07:14,197 --> 00:07:15,531 if I saw him! 184 00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,204 Also, that's rude! 185 00:07:19,228 --> 00:07:21,348 Okay, it's just that your type is very inconsistent. 186 00:07:22,209 --> 00:07:24,442 What time was he supposed to show up, anyway? 187 00:07:26,288 --> 00:07:27,822 Two hours ago. 188 00:07:27,913 --> 00:07:29,814 And we're sure this is the right hotel? 189 00:07:31,393 --> 00:07:33,612 He's not coming. I'm an idiot. 190 00:07:34,728 --> 00:07:38,072 Well, I guess the good thing to come out of this abduction 191 00:07:38,098 --> 00:07:40,600 is that if anyone knows how to crawl out from under 192 00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:43,560 an embarrassing romantic failure, it's me. 193 00:07:43,661 --> 00:07:46,396 So I say we drop our bags, 194 00:07:46,572 --> 00:07:48,307 go straight to the botanical gardens, 195 00:07:48,331 --> 00:07:50,100 take in some cherry blossoms, 196 00:07:50,125 --> 00:07:52,278 then sleep it off, and go home fresh tomorrow. 197 00:07:52,442 --> 00:07:54,577 What time was the tour again? 198 00:07:58,975 --> 00:08:01,310 Oh, David, I'm so sorry. 199 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:03,814 If this wasn't so humiliating for you, 200 00:08:03,915 --> 00:08:06,283 I think I'd be in a darker headspace right now, 201 00:08:06,384 --> 00:08:08,250 but since it is... 202 00:08:08,886 --> 00:08:10,930 the hotel bar has karaoke, 203 00:08:10,954 --> 00:08:13,442 I say we get several rounds of polar bear shots, 204 00:08:13,466 --> 00:08:15,334 load up some Mariah, 205 00:08:15,358 --> 00:08:16,838 and I will spend the rest of the night 206 00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,430 pretending not to resent you. 207 00:08:18,596 --> 00:08:19,855 Okay. 208 00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:21,466 I'll get the first round. 209 00:08:21,492 --> 00:08:22,891 Oh, you'll be getting every round. 210 00:08:28,026 --> 00:08:30,268 Alexis: Oh my God, Shan! You still here? 211 00:08:30,293 --> 00:08:32,184 Have you not taken lunch? 212 00:08:32,210 --> 00:08:33,509 I've just been pretty busy. 213 00:08:33,534 --> 00:08:34,902 Ugh, same. 214 00:08:35,078 --> 00:08:37,047 Can I get a "hell yeah" for two hard-working women 215 00:08:37,072 --> 00:08:38,639 in the 21st Century? 216 00:08:40,782 --> 00:08:44,152 Anyway, I think that we both know 217 00:08:44,177 --> 00:08:45,976 that things are a bit off between us, 218 00:08:46,001 --> 00:08:47,701 and I understand why. 219 00:08:48,001 --> 00:08:49,836 Ted told me all about your little... 220 00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,480 Mmm! Muah! Muah! 221 00:08:51,557 --> 00:08:54,125 And it's like... not a big deal. 222 00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:56,408 Okay. 223 00:08:56,956 --> 00:08:59,010 Alexis, that's-that's such a relief. 224 00:08:59,036 --> 00:09:01,303 And oh! Honestly, between us, 225 00:09:01,404 --> 00:09:03,340 it was just a drunken one-time thing, 226 00:09:03,365 --> 00:09:05,365 and I told him we'd be better off as friends. 227 00:09:05,543 --> 00:09:07,076 Oh. 228 00:09:07,101 --> 00:09:09,738 Did you tell him that after he told you that? 229 00:09:09,813 --> 00:09:11,014 Sorry? 230 00:09:11,038 --> 00:09:12,807 Ted: Alexis. Right on time. 231 00:09:13,059 --> 00:09:15,794 You're telling me, I was just having a chat with Shan. 232 00:09:16,441 --> 00:09:18,130 Clearing the air about that little trip 233 00:09:18,155 --> 00:09:19,908 you two took to pound town. 234 00:09:19,932 --> 00:09:21,433 - Alexis! - Whoa! 235 00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,336 Okay, let's remember this is still a place of work. 236 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:24,770 Look, I don't know about you, Shannon, 237 00:09:24,794 --> 00:09:26,730 but I am so glad we did this. 238 00:09:26,754 --> 00:09:28,732 Had I not talked to her, I never would've found out 239 00:09:28,758 --> 00:09:30,591 that she called it off. 240 00:09:30,768 --> 00:09:34,440 - Maybe I will go for lunch. - Well, just, um, one minute. 241 00:09:34,465 --> 00:09:36,548 Again, not that it matters, 242 00:09:36,573 --> 00:09:39,576 you know, but uh, the day after we... 243 00:09:40,448 --> 00:09:44,181 um, we were supposed to meet up at the 5k for Feral Cats, 244 00:09:44,206 --> 00:09:47,527 and... I never followed up so. 245 00:09:47,558 --> 00:09:51,861 - Oh! Yeah, it totally doesn't matter. - No. 246 00:09:52,032 --> 00:09:54,562 But I also never followed up. 247 00:09:54,587 --> 00:09:56,993 So when we saw each other the next weekend 248 00:09:57,018 --> 00:09:59,286 at the opening of Bronwyn's Exotic Animal Clinic, 249 00:09:59,311 --> 00:10:02,140 I assumed... you'd gotten the hint. 250 00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:04,100 Okay, well, that's what I assumed, so... 251 00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:06,058 Okay, not to interject, but I assumed 252 00:10:06,083 --> 00:10:08,346 that this would play out in a much more interesting way. 253 00:10:08,381 --> 00:10:10,349 So for the sake of time, 254 00:10:10,374 --> 00:10:12,883 um, I'm just gonna go with Shannon's version of things. 255 00:10:12,908 --> 00:10:15,000 Shannon, can we get you anything while we're out? 256 00:10:15,024 --> 00:10:16,389 Uh, I'm not sure that we actually quite finished 257 00:10:16,413 --> 00:10:17,933 - the conversation. - Oh, it's okay, Ted. 258 00:10:18,014 --> 00:10:19,416 Because the important thing is, 259 00:10:19,441 --> 00:10:20,678 that Shannon and I had a breakthrough. 260 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,821 Yeah, but I'm just not really sure where we landed on... 261 00:10:22,846 --> 00:10:24,080 - Mhmm, yeah. - On the whole... 262 00:10:24,105 --> 00:10:26,173 Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh! Okay. 263 00:10:28,993 --> 00:10:30,594 When it comes to water heater repairs, 264 00:10:30,770 --> 00:10:33,038 you don't need electrical experience to check, 265 00:10:33,063 --> 00:10:34,931 or replace the heating elements. 266 00:10:35,107 --> 00:10:36,375 Great. 267 00:10:36,399 --> 00:10:38,067 The only thing you need to do... 268 00:10:38,577 --> 00:10:41,270 is make sure the power is off before you perform any tests... 269 00:10:41,296 --> 00:10:42,996 Okay, where's the power switch? 270 00:10:43,173 --> 00:10:44,984 I need the power switch, okay, hold on, hold on. 271 00:10:45,009 --> 00:10:46,509 - Find the circuit breaker... - Power? 272 00:10:46,533 --> 00:10:48,988 I can't get to the circuit breaker until-hold on! 273 00:10:49,013 --> 00:10:51,548 Slow... slow-hold on! 274 00:10:51,572 --> 00:10:53,515 Hold-st-stop! 275 00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:55,307 Rewind! How do you rewind?! 276 00:10:55,332 --> 00:10:56,834 Where's the manual?! 277 00:10:56,859 --> 00:10:58,756 Oh Johnny, there you are! 278 00:10:58,782 --> 00:11:00,216 I've been looking all over for you. 279 00:11:00,357 --> 00:11:02,325 Urgent question. Um... 280 00:11:02,350 --> 00:11:04,884 what's our policy on smoke breaks? 281 00:11:04,909 --> 00:11:07,005 - Who's taking a smoke break? - I am. 282 00:11:07,030 --> 00:11:08,932 - You don't smoke. - Yeah, I know. 283 00:11:08,956 --> 00:11:11,091 And I don't think I should be penalized for that. 284 00:11:11,663 --> 00:11:13,980 Roland, I'm kinda busy right now with the water heater. 285 00:11:14,004 --> 00:11:15,538 Johnny, I don't think kicking 286 00:11:15,562 --> 00:11:17,297 that thing is really gonna help. 287 00:11:17,475 --> 00:11:18,707 LOL. 288 00:11:18,732 --> 00:11:20,952 Okay, I'm trying to follow the video here, 289 00:11:20,977 --> 00:11:22,445 it says it's for beginners. 290 00:11:22,470 --> 00:11:24,347 Yeah well, I think you got the right video there. 291 00:11:24,447 --> 00:11:26,393 But don't you think something like that should be handled 292 00:11:26,417 --> 00:11:29,052 by professionals, Johnny? Like, maybe... Terry? 293 00:11:29,153 --> 00:11:31,086 Roland, you know something? 294 00:11:31,187 --> 00:11:33,033 There's a lot going on with the family right now, 295 00:11:33,057 --> 00:11:36,326 and if there's an economical way for me to deal with this, 296 00:11:36,350 --> 00:11:38,128 without pumping more money into it, 297 00:11:38,229 --> 00:11:39,596 then that's what I'm gonna do! 298 00:11:39,620 --> 00:11:40,725 Johnny, let me tell you something. 299 00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:42,966 That is not the place to cut corners. 300 00:11:42,991 --> 00:11:45,149 Okay? What you need to do is re-examine 301 00:11:45,173 --> 00:11:47,046 your extravagant lifestyle. 302 00:11:47,071 --> 00:11:48,312 What are you talking about? 303 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,827 Well, not all of us can drive around in an 8 cylinder car. 304 00:11:51,852 --> 00:11:55,381 It's a '78 Lincoln, and it's all we could afford! 305 00:11:55,407 --> 00:11:57,445 - Right, '78. Vintage. - Okay! 306 00:11:57,470 --> 00:11:59,375 Roland, do you mind if I get back to work?! 307 00:11:59,399 --> 00:12:01,835 Yeah, no problem, I've got to go on my smoke break. 308 00:12:10,501 --> 00:12:14,970 ♪ As time goes on... 309 00:12:18,845 --> 00:12:21,274 Wow, for someone who can barely stand, 310 00:12:21,298 --> 00:12:23,067 she sounds good. 311 00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:25,125 How are we feeling? 312 00:12:25,181 --> 00:12:28,256 All things considered, I'm feeling better. 313 00:12:28,282 --> 00:12:30,248 Good. I'm gonna see if they have more Mariah, 314 00:12:30,273 --> 00:12:32,106 the first three songs were just a warm-up. 315 00:12:40,345 --> 00:12:42,440 Oh. Hi. 316 00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:44,142 I'm so sorry. 317 00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:45,977 A student driver rear-ended me on the way over here, 318 00:12:46,001 --> 00:12:47,745 it was a whole thing. He started crying. 319 00:12:47,769 --> 00:12:49,456 We had to exchange insurance information. 320 00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:51,133 His mom was there. 321 00:12:51,158 --> 00:12:52,759 You couldn'tve called? 322 00:12:52,936 --> 00:12:54,403 I thought I was stood up. 323 00:12:54,427 --> 00:12:56,388 The student driver has my phone, and I have his. 324 00:12:56,429 --> 00:12:57,931 We didn't give them back to each other 325 00:12:57,956 --> 00:12:59,274 after we exchanged info. 326 00:12:59,313 --> 00:13:01,091 So if you wanna know what's on a 16 year old's smartphone, 327 00:13:01,115 --> 00:13:02,482 I could offer you that. 328 00:13:02,660 --> 00:13:03,994 No, thank you. 329 00:13:04,019 --> 00:13:05,785 Yeah, that's probably for the best. 330 00:13:06,328 --> 00:13:08,431 Okay, good news, they have "Fantasy," 331 00:13:08,456 --> 00:13:11,375 which means that you get to play Ol' Dirty Bastard. 332 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,504 Oh, are-are you here with someone? 333 00:13:13,528 --> 00:13:16,062 - Uh, no. - Oh! Ohhh... 334 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,041 Oh um, no. 335 00:13:18,066 --> 00:13:19,899 We just ran into each other at the bar. 336 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,336 Um, long story short, I took a pottery class with this one. 337 00:13:24,259 --> 00:13:25,815 Oh, uh, I'm Emir. 338 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,159 - Oh, Dane... a. Dana. - Dana? 339 00:13:28,184 --> 00:13:31,421 Yeah, so I run-I run the karaoke at the hotel. 340 00:13:31,446 --> 00:13:33,500 - Hmm. - Yeah. 341 00:13:33,774 --> 00:13:36,470 Uh, Stevie, I know I'm two hours late, 342 00:13:36,495 --> 00:13:38,294 but can I still take you to dinner, 343 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:39,452 or have I blown it? 344 00:13:39,629 --> 00:13:41,530 Oh, you've blown it. 345 00:13:41,631 --> 00:13:43,099 But I'll still take a free dinner. 346 00:13:43,711 --> 00:13:45,067 - I can work with that, okay. - Okay. 347 00:13:45,092 --> 00:13:46,711 - Mhmm. - Okay! 348 00:13:46,736 --> 00:13:49,072 Um, I'm just gonna settle up my tab, 349 00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:51,323 - I'll meet you outside. - Okay, yeah. 350 00:13:51,349 --> 00:13:52,816 Uh, nice to meet you, Dana. 351 00:13:53,221 --> 00:13:55,022 Yes, thanks. 352 00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,749 Why don't you just come with us? 353 00:14:00,328 --> 00:14:02,018 I already made you miss the botanical gardens. 354 00:14:02,043 --> 00:14:03,344 I can't leave you here. 355 00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:05,120 Okay, honestly, I'm gonna be really exhausted 356 00:14:05,145 --> 00:14:06,613 after my set anyways, so... 357 00:14:06,791 --> 00:14:09,091 I'll probably just go to bed. 358 00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:10,927 Are you sure? 359 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:13,721 No, so get outta here before I change my mind. 360 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,722 - Thank you. - Okay. 361 00:14:15,748 --> 00:14:17,581 Unnecessary, but... 362 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,048 Keep the mics hot, I'm comin' in! 363 00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,437 Moira? We need to talk, sweetheart. 364 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:33,706 I'm sorry dear, is your mouth moving? 365 00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:37,378 Could you uh, turn off the dehumidifier for a second? 366 00:14:37,479 --> 00:14:39,011 Because I can't possibly 367 00:14:39,114 --> 00:14:41,347 hear you over the sound of the dehumidifier! 368 00:14:41,373 --> 00:14:43,498 Oh, just-just turn off... 369 00:14:47,067 --> 00:14:49,966 So, it looks like in addition to the water heater, 370 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:52,778 we're gonna have to replace some of the plumbing. 371 00:14:53,136 --> 00:14:55,138 And the water is so hard, 372 00:14:55,163 --> 00:14:58,676 that Terry said that it's likely in the next little while 373 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,989 we might also need a new... 374 00:15:01,014 --> 00:15:02,445 water softener. 375 00:15:02,546 --> 00:15:04,714 John, I'm sorry you've had such a hard day. 376 00:15:04,739 --> 00:15:07,144 - Yeah... - On the upside, 377 00:15:07,169 --> 00:15:10,927 this gown has exceeded all expectations. 378 00:15:11,264 --> 00:15:12,764 Yeah, well that's good, sweetheart, 379 00:15:12,789 --> 00:15:15,134 that's... that's good. It's just that um, 380 00:15:15,158 --> 00:15:17,570 you know, with all these costs piling up, 381 00:15:17,595 --> 00:15:19,962 we might need to take a hard look at uh, 382 00:15:19,988 --> 00:15:23,355 some of our recent uh... purchases. 383 00:15:23,380 --> 00:15:25,649 I told Alexis now is not the time 384 00:15:25,673 --> 00:15:27,059 to expand that home office. 385 00:15:27,085 --> 00:15:29,452 Not with the price of ink today. 386 00:15:29,477 --> 00:15:32,365 Yeah... Moira, look. 387 00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:35,301 The last thing I want to do is uh... 388 00:15:35,326 --> 00:15:37,494 rain on your parade, 389 00:15:37,595 --> 00:15:39,196 but I think for the next little while, 390 00:15:39,221 --> 00:15:42,040 any money coming in should probably... 391 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,933 be for the family. 392 00:15:43,959 --> 00:15:45,993 This dress is for the family. 393 00:15:46,169 --> 00:15:49,405 To remind us that our futures lie outside this town. 394 00:15:49,826 --> 00:15:51,517 It feels these days like I'm the only one 395 00:15:51,542 --> 00:15:53,243 who hasn't veered off course. 396 00:15:53,268 --> 00:15:54,912 Well, no one's veering off course, Moira, 397 00:15:54,937 --> 00:15:58,936 we're all just uh... taking a different approach. 398 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:01,461 The ceremonial purchase of the gown 399 00:16:01,485 --> 00:16:03,352 has always been my good luck charm. 400 00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:06,188 Well, from everything you've told us about this movie, 401 00:16:06,214 --> 00:16:10,647 Moira, it sounds like for the first time in a long time, 402 00:16:10,672 --> 00:16:11,861 you may not need any luck. 403 00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:14,941 Oh, John! Thank you for that. 404 00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,309 And know that you've been heard! 405 00:16:17,335 --> 00:16:18,802 Good. 406 00:16:27,899 --> 00:16:30,023 Ted: You know, Alexis, I've been thinking about it, 407 00:16:30,047 --> 00:16:32,215 and... I'm really glad that you and Shannon 408 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,293 were able to get everything out in the open. 409 00:16:34,868 --> 00:16:37,491 Me too. We're actually grabbing drinks tomorrow. 410 00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:39,384 Great, yeah, you know, and I-I... 411 00:16:39,409 --> 00:16:43,331 I care way more about that than any of the details 412 00:16:43,355 --> 00:16:45,490 of how we ended things, 413 00:16:45,515 --> 00:16:48,250 or even whether they were accurate. 414 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,363 It seems like it was just like a little miscommunication 415 00:16:50,386 --> 00:16:51,921 on your part, is all. 416 00:16:51,946 --> 00:16:54,480 Yeah well, uh, Shannon aside, 417 00:16:54,505 --> 00:16:56,235 I think it's important that I tell you 418 00:16:56,259 --> 00:16:58,403 that there were a few others before Heather. 419 00:16:58,428 --> 00:17:00,462 And there may have been 420 00:17:00,488 --> 00:17:02,589 a couple of broken hearts along the way. 421 00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:05,023 Whatever you say, Ted. 422 00:17:06,406 --> 00:17:08,814 Yeah... it's actually kinda funny, 423 00:17:08,838 --> 00:17:10,740 because I was just going through my phone, 424 00:17:10,765 --> 00:17:12,584 you know, to make some space, and then I came across 425 00:17:12,608 --> 00:17:14,662 this little back and forth from a while ago. 426 00:17:14,686 --> 00:17:16,387 I believe you, Ted. 427 00:17:16,489 --> 00:17:18,532 You're still Dr. Casanova to me. 428 00:17:18,557 --> 00:17:20,224 Okay, well, the tone of your voice 429 00:17:20,250 --> 00:17:21,742 makes it seem like you don't believe a word you're saying. 430 00:17:21,768 --> 00:17:22,977 Okay, Ted! 431 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,795 "Dear Melanie." 432 00:17:28,434 --> 00:17:30,547 Melanie? Is this the girl from the falafel place? 433 00:17:30,571 --> 00:17:32,440 Yeah, I don't think that's relevant. 434 00:17:32,838 --> 00:17:35,374 Ahem. "I've had a lot of fun hanging out with you, 435 00:17:35,398 --> 00:17:37,453 and I really... 436 00:17:37,479 --> 00:17:41,413 fal-awful saying this over text, 437 00:17:41,438 --> 00:17:43,905 but I'm just not feeling strongly enough to take 438 00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:46,766 this to the next level. I'm sorry." 439 00:17:47,019 --> 00:17:49,555 Pretty harsh. But it had to be done. 440 00:17:50,172 --> 00:17:51,824 And then um, she wrote... 441 00:17:51,848 --> 00:17:54,910 - Oh, it doesn't matter what she wrote. - "Cool!" Exclamation mark. 442 00:17:55,201 --> 00:17:58,297 And it looks like you ended up walking her dog for her? 443 00:17:58,322 --> 00:18:00,789 Well, she seemed really upset. 444 00:18:01,145 --> 00:18:02,719 Listen Ted, 445 00:18:03,157 --> 00:18:05,237 I've gone through enough heartbreakers for like, 446 00:18:05,261 --> 00:18:07,262 two people's lifetimes. 447 00:18:07,364 --> 00:18:09,365 And I don't want that anymore. 448 00:18:09,700 --> 00:18:11,500 I want you. 449 00:18:12,269 --> 00:18:14,269 And that cute lil' butt. 450 00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:20,853 David and Tammy: ♪ Ohhhh... 451 00:18:20,877 --> 00:18:22,385 Oh! Oh! 452 00:18:22,413 --> 00:18:24,614 Yes, Tammy! Tammy, everybody! 453 00:18:24,638 --> 00:18:26,339 It's Tammy! Yeah! 454 00:18:26,365 --> 00:18:28,164 Stevie, hi! 455 00:18:28,190 --> 00:18:29,656 Oh... 456 00:18:30,063 --> 00:18:32,663 - Hi! - Hi. 457 00:18:33,094 --> 00:18:37,096 So... Emir asked me if I wanted to stay the night. 458 00:18:37,269 --> 00:18:39,738 Ohhhh! 459 00:18:39,762 --> 00:18:41,049 That sounds promising. 460 00:18:41,075 --> 00:18:44,000 Yeah. Um, I thought you were gonna go to bed? 461 00:18:44,176 --> 00:18:46,921 Oh no, I was, but then Tammy kept buying shots, 462 00:18:46,945 --> 00:18:49,815 and the whole room got behind me in like, a really big way. 463 00:18:49,839 --> 00:18:51,673 Anyway, I have seven more songs to finish, 464 00:18:51,699 --> 00:18:53,376 and some new fans who would be very disappointed 465 00:18:53,402 --> 00:18:55,036 if I don't close the show. 466 00:18:55,060 --> 00:18:58,089 - Oh, Dana! Or is it David? - Huh? 467 00:18:58,115 --> 00:19:00,059 Listen, I just wanted you to know that Stevie told me 468 00:19:00,084 --> 00:19:01,010 what you did for her tonight. 469 00:19:01,073 --> 00:19:02,213 You know, giving up your evening, 470 00:19:02,239 --> 00:19:03,369 so that we could have some time together. 471 00:19:03,394 --> 00:19:05,296 Anyway, it was really cool of you to do it, 472 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:07,346 is what I'm saying, and not just because um... 473 00:19:07,372 --> 00:19:09,049 we get to have a little sleepover because of it. 474 00:19:11,035 --> 00:19:13,336 So to say thank you, I took care of your room charges. 475 00:19:13,797 --> 00:19:16,237 Oh my God! Hello! 476 00:19:16,261 --> 00:19:18,601 Um, hi! Can I get another drink then, 477 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:19,893 to the room, please? Thanks! 478 00:19:19,917 --> 00:19:21,818 I actually just meant like, your mini-bar. 479 00:19:21,844 --> 00:19:24,211 Oh no, I finished that. Hey, Tam! 480 00:19:24,237 --> 00:19:25,904 You want some zhampagne?! 481 00:19:25,930 --> 00:19:27,564 Yeah, two please, drinks. 482 00:19:27,955 --> 00:19:30,078 Okay, um... what do you say we get up there, 483 00:19:30,104 --> 00:19:32,415 maybe do a little duet? I feel like that's the kind of thing 484 00:19:32,441 --> 00:19:34,259 you'd be totally comfortable with, right? 485 00:19:34,284 --> 00:19:35,617 - Mhmm... - Yeah, love that. 486 00:19:35,719 --> 00:19:37,697 I think it's best if you guys just sat down, and watched. 487 00:19:37,721 --> 00:19:39,096 - Oh, okay. - Next time. 488 00:19:39,122 --> 00:19:40,198 - Yeah. Mhmm. - Off the hook for now. 489 00:19:40,222 --> 00:19:42,534 Uno, Tammy! I think I'm going to do this one by myself. 490 00:19:42,574 --> 00:19:43,596 - Oh! - Thank you so much, though. 491 00:19:43,622 --> 00:19:45,021 - We'll call you back. - Wow. 492 00:19:45,047 --> 00:19:47,213 See you soon. I would like to dedicate this one... 493 00:19:47,239 --> 00:19:49,890 to the lovers right over there! 494 00:19:49,914 --> 00:19:51,148 - Okay... - And, goodnight. 495 00:19:51,173 --> 00:19:53,767 David: The la-la-lovers... Cue it up! 496 00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,826 Okay, are you coming out? 497 00:19:59,927 --> 00:20:01,205 Can you stop yelling, please?! 498 00:20:01,230 --> 00:20:03,330 I had 14 polar bear shots last night. 499 00:20:03,355 --> 00:20:05,824 Moira, do you want us to close our eyes? 500 00:20:13,217 --> 00:20:15,351 Oh my God. 501 00:20:16,644 --> 00:20:20,151 Moira, it's gorgeous. 502 00:20:21,189 --> 00:20:22,859 Wasn't it shown with a veil? 503 00:20:22,884 --> 00:20:24,451 Oh, the veil's on its way. 504 00:20:24,477 --> 00:20:27,346 Well, now that I see it on you, I understand! 505 00:20:27,674 --> 00:20:29,365 I feel like I'm waiting for the limo 506 00:20:29,391 --> 00:20:32,125 to take us to your next red carpet event! 507 00:20:32,788 --> 00:20:34,589 Well, sweetheart, if that's... 508 00:20:34,955 --> 00:20:36,987 if that's the dress you want, then, uh... 509 00:20:37,011 --> 00:20:39,894 It is. But you're right, John, it's not the time. 510 00:20:39,919 --> 00:20:43,471 So before I send her back, take a mental picture. 511 00:20:48,162 --> 00:20:51,221 And perhaps an actual picture as well? 512 00:20:51,246 --> 00:20:53,580 - Anyone have a camera? - Oh. 513 00:20:53,605 --> 00:20:55,606 - Yes, yes. - Oh yes. 514 00:20:55,784 --> 00:20:57,980 - Gimme like, a mm! - Mm! 515 00:20:58,005 --> 00:20:59,797 Like, arm. 516 00:20:59,822 --> 00:21:01,619 - Oh! - Okay. 517 00:21:01,644 --> 00:21:03,378 Yeah, got it? 518 00:21:04,335 --> 00:21:05,701 Okay, that's it. 519 00:21:05,727 --> 00:21:09,006 And if all goes to plan, we'll meet again on the red carpet. 520 00:21:09,182 --> 00:21:11,518 Ideally, sometime this year. 521 00:21:11,542 --> 00:21:13,242 And those are the shoes we're going with? 522 00:21:13,268 --> 00:21:15,269 - What do you think? - No. 523 00:21:15,294 --> 00:21:17,748 Shoes, later. As well as jewels. 524 00:21:17,772 --> 00:21:19,874 What?! 525 00:21:19,897 --> 00:21:24,897 -- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe -- -- www.addic7ed.com -- 39342

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