All language subtitles for Playing House S01E03 1080p Amazon WEB-DL DD+ 5.1 x264-TrollHD_track3_eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,266 --> 00:00:05,633 DO I HAVE TO WATCH THIS? - MM-HMM. YEAH. 2 00:00:05,667 --> 00:00:07,200 - WHY? WHY? - 'CAUSE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS 3 00:00:07,233 --> 00:00:08,700 IS MY FAVORITE, AND IT HURTS ME 4 00:00:08,734 --> 00:00:10,367 THAT YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ALL OF IT, OKAY? 5 00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:13,200 - WHY, MAGGIE, WHY DO YOU TAKE PLEASURE IN MY PAIN? 6 00:00:13,233 --> 00:00:15,600 - BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS ALL ABOUT, SWEETHEART-- 7 00:00:15,633 --> 00:00:18,000 FACING YOUR FEARS, GROWING UP. 8 00:00:18,033 --> 00:00:19,767 WATCHING A MAN CHEW ANOTHER MAN'S FACE OFF-- 9 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,033 - IS THAT WHAT HAPPENS? WHEN DOES THAT HAPPEN? 10 00:00:22,066 --> 00:00:23,333 - JUST--WELL, WAIT FOR IT. 11 00:00:23,367 --> 00:00:26,300 I DON'T WANNA SPOIL IT FOR YOU, OKAY? 12 00:00:27,533 --> 00:00:29,200 - THERE'S SOMEBODY IN THIS HOUSE. 13 00:00:29,233 --> 00:00:31,367 - OH, THAT'S JUST BRUCE. HE'S GRABBING HIS STICKS. 14 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,433 - HE'S JUST GRABBING HIS STICKS? 15 00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:35,033 - HE PLAYS HOCKEY ON WEDNESDAY NIGHTS 16 00:00:35,066 --> 00:00:37,033 WITH SCOOTER AND THE BOYS, AND HE DOESN'T HAVE ANYWHERE 17 00:00:37,066 --> 00:00:39,467 AT SCOOTER'S TO KEEP IT, SO I SAID HE COULD LEAVE IT HERE. 18 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,300 - MAGGIE, HE CHEATED ON YOU. HE SHOULD NOT BE STORING 19 00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:42,533 HIS SPORTS EQUIPMENT IN HERE. 20 00:00:42,567 --> 00:00:44,367 YOU NEED TO SET SOME BOUNDARIES. - OKAY, FINE. 21 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:45,734 - I'LL TELL YOU THAT. - WILL YOU RELAX 22 00:00:45,734 --> 00:00:47,633 FOR A HOT SECOND? BECAUSE HE'S COMING 23 00:00:47,667 --> 00:00:50,133 TOMORROW MORNING TO GET ALL HIS STUFF OUT, OKAY? 24 00:00:50,166 --> 00:00:51,533 - OKAY. - THANK YOU. 25 00:00:51,567 --> 00:00:54,700 NOW CAN WE JUST FINISH WATCHING BUFFALO BILL'S JOURNEY? 26 00:00:56,600 --> 00:00:58,200 WILL YOU HELP ME? 27 00:00:58,200 --> 00:00:59,600 I HURT MY ARM-- - DON'T YOU DARE! 28 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,000 DON'T DO THAT VOICE. STOP IT! 29 00:01:01,033 --> 00:01:03,000 - WHAT? HE NEEDS HELP WITH HIS FAN. 30 00:01:03,033 --> 00:01:05,266 AND HIS SOFA. HIS ARM IS HURT. 31 00:01:05,300 --> 00:01:06,266 - NEED HELP WITH YOUR SOFA? 32 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,533 - AAH! AAH! - AAH! 33 00:01:08,567 --> 00:01:10,767 - WHY ARE WE SCREAMING? 34 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,233 - BRUCE! - BRUCE! 35 00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:13,633 - BAD BRUCE! - NO, SIR! 36 00:01:13,667 --> 00:01:15,000 NOT OKAY! - NO! 37 00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:37,033 - I THINK THIS IS THE LAST OF IT. 38 00:01:37,066 --> 00:01:38,467 - YES. - HOW DID A GROWN MAN 39 00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:40,333 ACCUMULATE SO MUCH CRAP? 40 00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,266 - HIS EX-WIFE GAVE HIM MOST OF IT. 41 00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:43,700 - OH... - THAT'S ME. 42 00:01:43,734 --> 00:01:45,433 - WELL, ALL THAT'S LEFT TO DO IS TO CALL HIM... 43 00:01:45,467 --> 00:01:46,767 - MM-HMM. - AND TELL HIM 44 00:01:46,767 --> 00:01:49,233 TO GET HIS STUFF OUTTA HERE. 45 00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:51,367 YOU CAN DO IT! 46 00:01:51,367 --> 00:01:54,367 ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT IT. 47 00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:56,467 HEY, BRUCE, IT'S MAGGIE... 48 00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,200 - NO, NO, NO-- - UM... 49 00:01:58,233 --> 00:01:59,633 HEY. HOW ARE YOU? 50 00:01:59,633 --> 00:02:02,000 - MM-HMM. - AND, UH, WHAT'S GOING ON? 51 00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,333 - YEP. - AND ALSO... 52 00:02:03,367 --> 00:02:04,700 - COME AND GET YOUR STUFF. 53 00:02:04,734 --> 00:02:06,166 - COME AND GET YOUR STUFF. 54 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,734 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING TODAY-- 55 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,367 - SO I GUESS IF YOU COULD SWING BY 56 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,133 AT YOUR EARLIEST CONVENIENCE, THAT WOULD BE AMAZING. 57 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,367 - AND IF YOU DON'T, 58 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,300 I'M GONNA PUT CHARDONNAY IN YOUR BEER HAT, SO... 59 00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:16,734 - SHE'S GONNA CONTAMINATE... - SUCK ON THAT! 60 00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:18,333 - YOUR BEER HAT. 61 00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:20,333 UM, ANYWAY, UM... 62 00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:22,100 GOD, WHENEVER YOU CAN, 63 00:02:22,133 --> 00:02:24,100 JUST COME AND GET YOUR STUFF 64 00:02:24,133 --> 00:02:26,133 SO THAT WE CAN JUST, YOU KNOW, BE DONE WITH IT. 65 00:02:26,166 --> 00:02:28,133 THAT WOULD BE GREAT. AND, UM, THAT'S IT. 66 00:02:28,166 --> 00:02:30,734 AND WE'LL TAKE CARE, AND I HOPE YOU'RE WELL 67 00:02:30,767 --> 00:02:34,166 AND THANK YOU, AND THAT'S, UM...AMAZING. 68 00:02:34,200 --> 00:02:36,066 OKAY? WHAT? BYE. 69 00:02:36,100 --> 00:02:37,533 OH! WHY--UGH! 70 00:02:37,533 --> 00:02:40,233 WHY AM I SO BAD AT IT? - NO, LISTEN, 71 00:02:40,266 --> 00:02:41,567 I KNOW IT IS NOT USUAL 72 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,300 FOR YOU TO LAY DOWN THE LAW WITH BRUCE, BUT THIS IS GOOD. 73 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:46,000 AND AFTER THIS, ALL THE UNPLEASANTNESS 74 00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,700 IS GONNA BE HANDLED BY LAWYERS. 75 00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:49,533 - OH, I SHOULD PROBABLY GET ONE OF THOSE, HUH? 76 00:02:49,567 --> 00:02:51,066 - MAGGIE! - WHAT? 77 00:02:51,100 --> 00:02:53,033 - COME ON. - RIGHT NOW? 78 00:02:53,066 --> 00:02:54,734 - RIGHT NOW. 79 00:02:56,333 --> 00:02:58,066 - BLAAAAH! 80 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:00,166 - "IN COURT OR GONE FISHIN'"? 81 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:01,500 OH, GREAT. 82 00:03:01,533 --> 00:03:03,600 I LOVE A LAWYER WHO'S NOT AFRAID TO GET CUTE. 83 00:03:03,633 --> 00:03:05,700 - OH, THEY'RE NOT BEING CUTE. THEY'RE ACTUALLY FISHING. 84 00:03:05,734 --> 00:03:08,166 JOHN RITCHIE JUST STOCKED HIS POND WITH LARGEMOUTH BASS. 85 00:03:08,200 --> 00:03:10,166 - I HATE THIS TOWN. - YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S FINE. 86 00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:12,734 IT'LL GIVE ME A CHANCE TO TELL BRUCE THAT I'M FILING, SO-- 87 00:03:12,767 --> 00:03:14,367 - LISTEN, MAGS, I KNOW THIS IS HARD... 88 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:15,667 - YEAH. - BUT IT IS ALWAYS BEST FOR US 89 00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:17,200 TO FACE OUR FEARS HEAD-ON. 90 00:03:17,233 --> 00:03:19,300 JUST--OH, MY GOD, IT'S MY MOTHER--HIDE ME! 91 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:20,467 HIDE ME, HIDE ME! SHH! 92 00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,200 - YOU DID NOT TELL HER-- - SHUT UP! 93 00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:23,567 YOU DIDN'T TELL HER 94 00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,066 THAT YOU WERE HOME? 95 00:03:25,066 --> 00:03:27,533 I HAVE ISSUES WITH HER, OKAY? 96 00:03:27,567 --> 00:03:29,200 AND I'M VERY FRAGILE RIGHT NOW. 97 00:03:29,200 --> 00:03:31,333 - OH, MY GOD. IT'S BEEN THREE WEEKS. 98 00:03:34,233 --> 00:03:36,200 - WAIT. WHAT IS SHE DOING? 99 00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:38,667 - OH, I THINK SHE'S HIDING FROM YOU. 100 00:03:38,700 --> 00:03:40,600 - MOM? 101 00:03:40,633 --> 00:03:41,767 MOM! 102 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,100 MOM! 103 00:03:43,133 --> 00:03:45,200 - AH. WELL, YOU CAUGHT ME. 104 00:03:45,233 --> 00:03:47,400 - I-I CAUGHT YOU? NO, I WAS HIDING FROM YOU. 105 00:03:47,433 --> 00:03:49,000 - OH, I'M SORRY. I WAS THE ORIGINAL HIDER. 106 00:03:49,033 --> 00:03:50,500 - NO, NO, NO. I WAS HIDING... - NO, NO, I-- 107 00:03:50,533 --> 00:03:52,033 - BEHIND THAT BIRD CAGE THERE-- 108 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,233 NO. WE CAN-- - OKAY, WELL-- 109 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,533 GOOD DAY TO YOU, DAUGHTER. 110 00:03:55,567 --> 00:03:57,333 - "GOOD DAY TO YOU"? MOM! 111 00:03:57,367 --> 00:03:58,734 WHAT ARE YOU DO-- HEY, MOM, STOP! 112 00:03:58,734 --> 00:04:01,200 WHY ARE YOU--HEY! WHY ARE YOU AVOIDING ME? 113 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,767 - WHEN YOU STOPPED CALLING ME ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, 114 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,467 I WILL ADMIT, I WAS HURT. 115 00:04:05,467 --> 00:04:09,233 AND THEN I EXPERIENCED... A PEACE 116 00:04:09,233 --> 00:04:11,066 UNLIKE ANY I'D EVER KNOWN. 117 00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,667 I'VE ENTERED INTO A BIT OF REN-AY-SANCE. 118 00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:15,633 - IT'S RENAISSANCE. - I EAT FRO-YO. 119 00:04:15,667 --> 00:04:18,000 I WEAR OPEN-TOED SANDALS. 120 00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:21,367 I DANCE AS IF NO ONE'S WATCHING. 121 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:23,233 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME... 122 00:04:23,233 --> 00:04:25,433 - OKAY. SO YOU'VE GOT NOTHING TO SAY ABOUT THE FACT 123 00:04:25,467 --> 00:04:27,033 THAT I GAVE UP MY CAREER 124 00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:29,166 AND I'M HELPING MAGGIE RAISE A BABY? 125 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,166 - OH! MAZELS TO BOTH OF YOU. - OH! 126 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,533 I'M 36. I'M STILL UNMARRIED. 127 00:04:33,567 --> 00:04:36,400 SO...THIS IS DRYIN' UP AS WE SPEAK. 128 00:04:36,433 --> 00:04:37,433 NO COMMENT? 129 00:04:37,467 --> 00:04:39,200 - NO, I'M GOOD. RIGHT AS RAIN. 130 00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:44,233 - I'M WEARING A THONG RIGHT NOW. 131 00:04:44,266 --> 00:04:45,767 HOW DOES THAT FEEL? 132 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,567 - I DON'T KNOW. 133 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,300 ASK YOUR BUTT CRACK. 134 00:04:51,567 --> 00:04:53,133 - 'K... 135 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,300 I WILL. 136 00:04:57,333 --> 00:04:59,500 - I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR MOM SAID "BUTT CRACK." 137 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,266 - I KNOW. WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID, 138 00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:03,266 WE HAD TO CALL THE WHOLE AREA OUR COOKIE. 139 00:05:03,266 --> 00:05:05,266 - OUR MOM MADE US CALL IT OUR ANUS. 140 00:05:05,266 --> 00:05:07,367 - UGH! THAT'S EVEN WORSE! - WHY? THAT'S WHAT IT'S CALLED. 141 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:08,533 - ANUS. - OKAY. 142 00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:09,734 - ANUS. - STOP IT! 143 00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:11,133 - IT'S ANUS. 144 00:05:11,133 --> 00:05:13,133 - LISTEN, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE SO UPSET. 145 00:05:13,166 --> 00:05:15,600 ALL YOU'VE EVER WANTED IS TO NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP 146 00:05:15,633 --> 00:05:17,300 WITH YOUR MOM. - NO. I DON'T WANT 147 00:05:17,333 --> 00:05:19,166 A RELATIONSHIP WITH HER, BUT I WANT HER TO WANT ONE WITH ME. 148 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:20,333 - YOU GUYS ARE TOO SIMILAR, 149 00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:21,467 AND THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T GET ALONG. 150 00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:24,200 - RUDE! SHE IS HYPER-CRITICAL AND JUDGEY. 151 00:05:24,233 --> 00:05:27,200 - AND YOU FIRED YOUR ASSISTANT BECAUSE HE HAD TINY TEETH. 152 00:05:27,233 --> 00:05:29,400 - YEAH! TINY TEETH ARE A DEAL BREAKER. 153 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,400 - "SMALL HANDS REFUSE TO WOUND 154 00:05:31,433 --> 00:05:34,700 THE KNOWING SCENT HIDDEN IN EACH BLOOM." 155 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,333 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL. 156 00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:38,333 IS THAT ONE OF YOURS? - I WISH. 157 00:05:38,367 --> 00:05:39,667 IT'S YUSEF KOMUNYAKAA 158 00:05:39,700 --> 00:05:42,567 FROM HIS DELICATE AND HEART-WRENCHING POEM JASMINE. 159 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,066 - MM. 160 00:05:44,100 --> 00:05:46,033 ZACH'S LEADING A POETRY GROUP. 161 00:05:46,033 --> 00:05:47,567 - SO YOU TEACH POETRY NOW? - TEACH 162 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,367 IS AN AGGRESSIVE WORD. 163 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:52,700 WHAT I DO IS I ASSEMBLE A COLLECTIVE OF LOCAL WORDSMITHS 164 00:05:52,734 --> 00:05:55,667 THE THEME OF OUR READING THIS WEEK IS "UNFINISHED BUSINESS." 165 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,033 YOU SHOULD COME. 166 00:05:57,033 --> 00:05:58,567 - I PROBABLY WON'T. - WELL, YOU SHOULD, 167 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:00,767 BECAUSE IT'S A SAFE AND NURTURING ENVIRONMENT 168 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,166 TO WORK THROUGH YOUR ISSUES. 169 00:06:02,166 --> 00:06:04,367 YOUR MOM IS MY BEST STUDENT. 170 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,300 - WAIT! MY MOM IS IN THIS POETRY CLASS? 171 00:06:06,333 --> 00:06:10,066 - SHE'S BEEN DOING SOME VERY DEEP, EMOTIONAL EXCAVATION. 172 00:06:10,100 --> 00:06:12,233 VERY, VERY COLD ARE HER WORDS ABOUT YOU. 173 00:06:12,266 --> 00:06:14,266 - OKAY, WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. 174 00:06:14,300 --> 00:06:15,767 HER NAME ISN'T ON THIS FLYER, SO... 175 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,100 - OH, THAT'S BECAUSE SHE WRITES UNDER A NOM DE PLUME-- 176 00:06:18,133 --> 00:06:19,100 PHYLICIA RASHAD. 177 00:06:19,133 --> 00:06:20,600 - PHYLICIA RASHAD? 178 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:22,500 THAT'S THE MOM FROM THE COSBY SHOW. 179 00:06:22,533 --> 00:06:24,333 - PERHAPS. OR MAYBE... 180 00:06:24,333 --> 00:06:25,734 THE MOM FROM THE COSBY SHOW 181 00:06:25,767 --> 00:06:27,200 WAS NAMED AFTER YOUR MOTHER. 182 00:06:27,233 --> 00:06:28,200 - NO, THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 183 00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:29,633 - OR IS IT? - YEAH. NO, IT IS. 184 00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:30,734 - I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL 185 00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:32,200 WITH A KID NAMED ANDY MCDOWELL-- 186 00:06:32,233 --> 00:06:33,667 - I'M REALLY NOT INTERESTED. - AND HE WAS BORN 187 00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:35,333 ON GROUNDHOG DAY, SO ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. 188 00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:36,500 - O...KAY! 189 00:06:36,533 --> 00:06:38,266 - THANK YOU, MR. NANJIANI. 190 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,367 THAT WASN'T TECHNICALLY A POEM. 191 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,133 THAT WAS ANOTHER GHOST STORY. BUT... 192 00:06:43,166 --> 00:06:44,600 CHARACTERS WELCOME. 193 00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:46,066 I WANNA THANK EVERYONE FOR SHARING. 194 00:06:46,066 --> 00:06:48,600 THERE IS SUCH A PLETHORA OF UNFINISHED BUSINESS 195 00:06:48,633 --> 00:06:50,333 IN THE ROOM TONIGHT. 196 00:06:50,333 --> 00:06:52,467 KEVIN, YOUR BRAVE ACCOUNT 197 00:06:52,500 --> 00:06:55,367 OF YOUR BATTLE WITH DISFIGURING POISON OAK-- 198 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,266 BEAUTIFUL. 199 00:06:57,300 --> 00:06:59,500 MRS. JOHANNSEN, YOUR DESCRIPTION 200 00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:01,400 OF YOUR DECEASED HUSBAND'S PENIS-- 201 00:07:01,433 --> 00:07:03,100 TERRIFYING. 202 00:07:03,133 --> 00:07:05,266 SNAPS FOR THE CREATORS. 203 00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,533 NOW I'D LIKE TO BRING UP OUR NEXT POET, 204 00:07:07,567 --> 00:07:09,767 A SCRIBE, A TRUTH TELLER. 205 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,567 NEXT TO HER, WILLIAM BUTLER YEATS 206 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,533 SEEMS LIKE A BENT-OVER SIMPLETON. 207 00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:18,133 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PHYLICIA RASHAD! 208 00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:24,000 - THIS IS GONNA BE RICH. 209 00:07:29,300 --> 00:07:30,700 - "THE CHINESE DUMPLING-- 210 00:07:30,734 --> 00:07:32,600 "PARENTHESIS-- 211 00:07:32,633 --> 00:07:35,000 ". 212 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,133 "MY BOWL IS EMPTY. 213 00:07:38,133 --> 00:07:40,400 "MY BROTH IS COLD. 214 00:07:40,433 --> 00:07:44,667 "MORNINGS SPENT CRAFTING A DUMPLING, 215 00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:47,633 "WORKING IT WITH MY HANDS 216 00:07:47,667 --> 00:07:52,033 "FILLING IT WITH MY TENDER MEATS. 217 00:07:52,066 --> 00:07:56,166 "YOU ARE A TOUGH DUMPLING. 218 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:59,000 "TOUGH... 219 00:07:59,033 --> 00:08:00,300 TO THE TOUCH." 220 00:08:00,333 --> 00:08:02,166 - I'M NOT TOUGH TO THE TOUCH, AM I? 221 00:08:02,200 --> 00:08:05,700 - NO. UH-UH. - "I DRINK THE BROTH ALONE. 222 00:08:05,734 --> 00:08:08,467 I DRINK THE BROTH ALONE." 223 00:08:08,500 --> 00:08:09,700 - OKAY. 224 00:08:09,734 --> 00:08:13,333 I DRINK THE BROTH... 225 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:16,266 ALONE!" 226 00:08:16,266 --> 00:08:18,333 - PHYLICIA RASHAD. 227 00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:21,200 - SANGAR, YOUR DESCRIPTION OF THAT RAILROAD HOBO-- 228 00:08:21,233 --> 00:08:22,700 HAUNTING. - BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. 229 00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:24,333 IT'S ALL TRUE. 230 00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:26,567 - EXCUSE ME, PHYLICIA? - JUST A MOMENT. 231 00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:28,367 SNAPS. 232 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,300 FOR YOUR HONESTY AND FOR YOUR BRAVERY. 233 00:08:30,333 --> 00:08:33,567 - YOU MADE MY DAY. 234 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,166 - YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAD SOMETHING TO SAY TO ME, 235 00:08:36,166 --> 00:08:37,266 YOU COULD JUST TALK TO ME. 236 00:08:37,300 --> 00:08:38,633 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WRITE A POEM ABOUT IT. 237 00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:41,066 - THAT POEM WASN'T ABOUT YOU. - REALLY? 238 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,734 "THE CHINESE DUMPLING THAT LEFT THE BOWL"? 239 00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:43,767 I'M THE DUMPLING. 240 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,367 - OKAY. IT WAS ABOUT YOU. 241 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,700 BUT... IT WASN'T ABOUT YOU. 242 00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:49,033 - WELL, IT WAS VERY HURTFUL. 243 00:08:49,066 --> 00:08:50,500 - I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE GONNA BE HERE. 244 00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:52,633 I NEVER INTENDED FOR YOU TO HEAR IT! 245 00:08:52,667 --> 00:08:54,467 THIS IS MY JOURNEY. - OKAY. WELL... 246 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:57,300 JUST SO YOU KNOW, PHYLICIA RASHAD IS A REAL PERSON. 247 00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:59,133 - WHAT? - SHE'S THE VERY ATTRACTIVE 248 00:08:59,166 --> 00:09:01,066 AFRICAN-AMERICAN MOTHER ON THE COSBY SHOW. 249 00:09:01,100 --> 00:09:03,600 - WELL, DOES SHE SPELL HER NAME WITH AN "F" OR A "PH"? 250 00:09:03,633 --> 00:09:05,066 - "PH." - GODDAMN IT! 251 00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:07,233 THAT'S HOW I SPELL IT ! 252 00:09:07,266 --> 00:09:09,467 - NO, BUT I REALLY NAILED HER WITH THAT PHYLICIA RASHAD STUFF. 253 00:09:09,467 --> 00:09:11,600 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HER FACE. - YEAH. SHE DIDN'T KNOW 254 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,066 SHE WAS DOING THAT? - NO. APPARENTLY NOT. 255 00:09:14,066 --> 00:09:15,600 BUT THAT'S MY MOTHER FOR YOU, SO--AAH! 256 00:09:15,633 --> 00:09:17,500 - WHAT IS IT? 257 00:09:17,533 --> 00:09:19,734 - I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WELL! 258 00:09:19,734 --> 00:09:21,533 I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WELL! 259 00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:23,467 - HEY, HEY, IT'S JUST-- - WITH MY DOG. 260 00:09:23,467 --> 00:09:25,266 I DON'T WANNA DO IT. 261 00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:27,000 - IT'S JUST BRUCE'S DUMMY, OKAY? 262 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,000 WAIT. WHY IS ALL HIS STUFF STILL HERE? 263 00:09:29,033 --> 00:09:30,400 - YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS CLASSIC. 264 00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:32,567 YOU SET BOUNDARIES, AND HE IGNORES THEM. 265 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,066 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? FRANKLY, I'M SICK OF IT. 266 00:09:35,066 --> 00:09:37,233 - OKAY, THIS--I'M STARTING TO GET REALLY WORRIED. 267 00:09:37,266 --> 00:09:40,367 I KNOW THIS IS CRAZY, BUT HE'S NEVER NOT CALLED ME BACK. 268 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,500 - OH, NO, I WOULDN'T WORRY. HE AND HIS COUSIN TONY JOES 269 00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:43,734 PROBABLY FELL THROUGH THE ICE. 270 00:09:43,767 --> 00:09:45,367 - I WOULD HONESTLY CALL THE COPS 271 00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:47,500 IF HE HADN'T BEEN HERE TO PICK UP HIS CHEESE-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB. 272 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,233 - COME AGAIN? - WELL, WHEN WE CAME IN, 273 00:09:49,233 --> 00:09:50,300 I SAW HIS CHEESE-OF-THE-MONTH CLUB BASKET-- 274 00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:51,700 IT'S GONE FROM THE PORCH. 275 00:09:51,734 --> 00:09:54,367 HE OBVIOUSLY CAME TO GET IT. - WHAT--WHAT'S THAT INVOLVE? 276 00:09:54,367 --> 00:09:55,500 THE CHEESE OF THE MONTH? 277 00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,734 - I GOT IT FOR HIM FOR CHRISTMAS. 278 00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:58,433 HE LOVES IT. HE NEVER MISSES A DELIVERY. 279 00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:00,000 - WOULD THAT, PERHAPS, INCLUDE 280 00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,633 LIKE FOUR WHEELS OF SPANISH MANCHEGO 281 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:04,500 AND LIKE A... LIKE A REALLY LITTLE BABY 282 00:10:04,533 --> 00:10:06,100 THING OF CHUTNEY? 283 00:10:06,133 --> 00:10:07,367 - DID YOU EAT THE CHEESES? 284 00:10:07,367 --> 00:10:09,500 UM... 285 00:10:09,533 --> 00:10:11,033 - I NEED TO HEAR YOU SAY IT. 286 00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:13,433 I DON'T WANT TO. 287 00:10:13,467 --> 00:10:15,233 I ATE THEM. 288 00:10:15,233 --> 00:10:17,767 - EMMA, THAT WAS 4 POUNDS OF ARTISANAL CHEESES. 289 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,500 - YEAH. - THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. 290 00:10:19,533 --> 00:10:21,633 - IS IT IMPOSSIBLE? THE FRENCH DO IT. 291 00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:24,333 - OKAY, SO IF... YOU ATE HIS CHEESES, 292 00:10:24,367 --> 00:10:27,433 THEN BRUCE HASN'T BEEN HERE. 293 00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:30,333 EMMA, I THINK BRUCE MIGHT BE MISSING. 294 00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:32,300 - OKAY. JUST TO CLARIFY, ARE WE MORE WORRIED 295 00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:33,333 THAT BRUCE IS MISSING 296 00:10:33,367 --> 00:10:35,667 OR THAT I ATE 4 POUNDS OF CHEESE? 297 00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:37,700 'CAUSE THAT SEEMS LIKE A CRY FOR HELP. 298 00:10:37,734 --> 00:10:39,400 - I'M GONNA CALL SOMEBODY. - LIKE ON A REAL TIP. 299 00:10:45,166 --> 00:10:46,734 - LIKE 36 HOURS AGO. 300 00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:49,000 HE CAME ON WEDNESDAY NIGHT TO PICK UP HIS HOCKEY STICKS. 301 00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:51,233 - COME ON, THE DUDE'S STILL GOT HIS HOCKEY STICKS HERE? 302 00:10:51,266 --> 00:10:52,734 - THAT'S WHAT I SAID. HEY. 303 00:10:52,767 --> 00:10:55,066 CAUTION TAPE? SERIOUSLY? 304 00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,033 - THIS IS THE SCENE OF A CRIME. WE GOTTA DUST FOR PRINTS. 305 00:10:57,066 --> 00:10:58,533 - DUST FOR PRINTS? IT'S BRUCE'S STUFF. 306 00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,000 WHO ELSE WOULD HAVE TOUCHED IT? - I DON'T KNOW. 307 00:11:00,033 --> 00:11:01,300 AN UNKNOWN ASSAILANT OR SOMETHING. 308 00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:03,166 - OKAY, YOU HAVE WATCHED SILENCE OF THE LAMBS 309 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:05,066 WAY TOO MANY TIMES. AND FYI... 310 00:11:05,100 --> 00:11:07,200 YOU TWO NEED MORE GOING ON IN YOUR LIVES. 311 00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:09,166 - YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S WALKING AROUND THIS HOUSE 312 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:10,767 IN FULL PAJAMAS 30 A.M. 313 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,600 - I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I WAS UP ALL NIGHT 314 00:11:12,633 --> 00:11:14,400 JOURNALING ABOUT THE COMPLEX FEELINGS 315 00:11:14,433 --> 00:11:16,000 I'M HAVING ABOUT MY MOTHER, 316 00:11:16,033 --> 00:11:18,000 AND I CAME TO SOME STARTLING CONCLUSIONS, 317 00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:19,467 WHICH I WOULD LOVE TO SHARE WITH YOU TWO. 318 00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:21,233 - NO, THAT'S OKAY. - IF YOU GUYS ARE GAME-- 319 00:11:21,266 --> 00:11:23,433 - WE CAN'T--MAGS AND I HAVE TO GO TALK TO PEOPLE. 320 00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,567 - YEAH. - ALL RIGHT, WELL, 321 00:11:24,567 --> 00:11:25,700 I WANNA COME, GUYS. 322 00:11:25,734 --> 00:11:27,433 DO YOU GUYS WANT ME TO COME MAYBE? 323 00:11:27,433 --> 00:11:29,400 - WE DO NOT. - I'LL PUT ON PANTS. 324 00:11:29,433 --> 00:11:31,700 I'LL PUT ON REAL PANTS THAT HAVE ZIPPERS AND A BUTTON. 325 00:11:31,700 --> 00:11:33,467 COULD YOU GUYS GET ME SOME KRAFT SINGLES, THOUGH, 326 00:11:33,500 --> 00:11:35,000 WHILE YOU'RE OUT? OHH... 327 00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:39,533 - HEY, MAGGIE. 328 00:11:39,567 --> 00:11:40,700 HEY, OFFICER MARK. - HEY. 329 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,233 - WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU TWO? 330 00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,166 - OH, NOT TOO MUCH. WE JUST HAD TO ASK YOU 331 00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:46,200 A COUPLE QUESTIONS ABOUT BRUCE CARUSO'S WHEREABOUTS. 332 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:48,066 - OH. WELL, I DON'T REALLY GOT TIME FOR IT. 333 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:49,200 THE UNION GUYS ARE COMING IN, 334 00:11:49,233 --> 00:11:50,600 AND THEY NEED THEIR PATTY MELTS. 335 00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,600 - ALL RIGHT, SHE'S NOT JUST GONNA GIVE IT TO US. 336 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:54,734 WE GOTTA BREAK HER DOWN SO SHE'LL GIVE US THE INFO. 337 00:11:54,734 --> 00:11:57,400 - NO. ACTUALLY DON'T NEED TO DO THAT. 338 00:11:57,433 --> 00:12:00,667 - DID YOU ALWAYS WANNA BE A...WAITRESS, CANDY? 339 00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:03,033 - OH, GOD NO. I WANTED TO BE A LOUNGE SINGER. 340 00:12:03,066 --> 00:12:04,567 - HMM. - MY MOM SAID THAT I HAD 341 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,467 THE PIPES FOR IT, BUT-- - OH. 342 00:12:06,467 --> 00:12:08,667 THAT'S INTERESTING. 343 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:10,767 MOST PARENTS DON'T SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN'S CHOICES 344 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:12,467 TO GO INTO THE PERFORMING ARTS. 345 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:14,467 - WELL, SHE REALLY LIKED MUSIC--COUNTRY MUSIC. 346 00:12:14,500 --> 00:12:16,333 SHE LOVED DOLLY PARTON. 347 00:12:16,367 --> 00:12:18,233 - OH, DID SHE LIKE BLONDES WITH BIG BOOBS? 348 00:12:18,266 --> 00:12:20,033 - OKAY, WHAT ARE WE-- - 'CAUSE THAT'S THE OPPOSITE 349 00:12:20,066 --> 00:12:21,367 OF YOU. - WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? 350 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,734 - I GOT THE BOOBS. 351 00:12:22,734 --> 00:12:24,367 - YEAH, BUT THEY'RE NOT REAL, ARE THEY, CANDY? 352 00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:26,233 - YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION, CANDY. 353 00:12:26,266 --> 00:12:27,633 - WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JUST PARADING YOUR BOOBS AROUND 354 00:12:27,633 --> 00:12:29,100 FOR EVERYONE TO SEE? - MAGGIE! 355 00:12:29,133 --> 00:12:30,667 - JUST TRYING TO CURRY THE FAVOR 356 00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,300 THAT YOUR MOTHER NEVER GAVE YOU, HUH? 357 00:12:32,333 --> 00:12:34,133 - MAGGIE! - IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING? 358 00:12:34,166 --> 00:12:36,667 - ALL RIGHT! FINE! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? 359 00:12:36,700 --> 00:12:38,100 I'LL TELL YA. BRUCE CAME IN, 360 00:12:38,100 --> 00:12:39,467 AND HE WAS DRINKING COKE FLOAT AFTER COKE FLOAT. 361 00:12:39,500 --> 00:12:41,367 I RAN OUT OF ICE CREAM, SO I WENT IN THE BACK, 362 00:12:41,367 --> 00:12:43,500 AND I LET TYLER MOTORBOAT ME IN THE WALK-IN CLOSET. 363 00:12:43,533 --> 00:12:44,700 - ALL RIGHT. - TERRIF. 364 00:12:44,734 --> 00:12:47,133 - OKAY? BY THE TIME I CAME OUT, BRUCE WAS GONE. 365 00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:49,233 HE WAS WITH SOME WEIRD GUY WITH DREADS. 366 00:12:49,266 --> 00:12:51,600 - THAT'S HIS FRIEND SCOOTER. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. 367 00:12:51,633 --> 00:12:54,233 - OH, MY GOD, I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THAT JUST WORKED. 368 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,400 - CANDY. 369 00:12:57,433 --> 00:12:59,667 THEY'RE HAVING AUDITIONS THIS WEEKEND FOR HAIRSPRAY 370 00:12:59,700 --> 00:13:01,767 AT THE JCC. I THINK YOU SHOULD GO OUT FOR IT. 371 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,500 - YOU THINK I GOT WHAT IT TAKES? 372 00:13:03,500 --> 00:13:05,133 - I KNOW YOU DO, SWEETHEART. 373 00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,533 - COME ON, LET'S GO, MAG. 374 00:13:06,567 --> 00:13:09,266 - ALL RIGHT. COME ON, LET'S GO! 375 00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:13,033 CREATORS, LET'S GATHER OUR QUILLS. 376 00:13:13,066 --> 00:13:16,000 OKAY, SO DOES EVERYONE FEEL THAT THEIR BUSINESS 377 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,667 WAS FINISHED LAST NIGHT? 378 00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:19,400 - OH. 379 00:13:19,433 --> 00:13:22,633 AFTER I READ MY POEM ABOUT BERNARD'S DING DONG, 380 00:13:22,667 --> 00:13:25,000 I GOT ASKED OUT ON A DATE. 381 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,567 - WHY, YOU LITTLE JEZEBEL! 382 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,734 - AND HE'S FOUR YEARS MY JUNIOR, 383 00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:30,533 SO...HA CHA CHA! 384 00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:31,734 ANYONE ELSE? 385 00:13:31,767 --> 00:13:34,300 PHYLICIA. - WELL, I DON'T WANT TO BRAG, 386 00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:37,367 BUT I'VE BEEN APPROACHED BY THE OWNER OF THE HUNAN PALACE 387 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,400 ABOUT PRINTING MY POEM ON THE BACK OF THE TAKE-OUT MENUS, 388 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,500 SO FINGERS CROSSED. 389 00:13:41,533 --> 00:13:42,734 OH, JESUS CHRIST. 390 00:13:42,767 --> 00:13:45,166 - IS THIS SEAT TAKEN? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 391 00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:48,100 - OH, I JUST--I HAVE SOME UNFINISHED BUSINESS OF MY OWN 392 00:13:48,133 --> 00:13:49,533 I'D LIKE TO SHARE. 393 00:13:49,533 --> 00:13:52,233 - I'M SORRY, BUT WE'RE ACTUALLY GONNA MOVE ON TO OUR NEXT THEME 394 00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:54,033 WHICH IS A CHERISHED RETURN-- 395 00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:55,633 - OKAY. WELL, I'M GONNA READ MY POEM ANYWAY. 396 00:13:56,700 --> 00:14:00,133 IT'S CALLED... 397 00:14:00,166 --> 00:14:02,667 "A DUMPLING'S LAMENT... 398 00:14:02,700 --> 00:14:04,433 "BY TEMPESTT BLEDSOE. 399 00:14:07,133 --> 00:14:10,066 "POPPED COLLAR. PEARLS. 400 00:14:10,100 --> 00:14:12,433 "PEDAL PUSHERS, PUSHING ME? 401 00:14:12,433 --> 00:14:14,467 "PUSHING YOU. 402 00:14:14,500 --> 00:14:16,500 "CALL ME A DUMPLING 403 00:14:16,533 --> 00:14:18,567 "AND SAY I FELL OUT OF THE BOWL? 404 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,433 "WELL, YOUR BOWL WAS COLD, 405 00:14:20,467 --> 00:14:22,133 "FILLED WITH HOLES, 406 00:14:22,166 --> 00:14:25,033 MORE COLANDER THAN BOWL." 407 00:14:25,033 --> 00:14:27,533 ASK ANYONE YOU SEE. 408 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:30,367 MY MEATS ARE SWEET. 409 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,734 TOUGH TO THE TOUCH? TOUCH YOURSELF! 410 00:14:33,734 --> 00:14:37,467 FEEL...HOW ROUGH! 411 00:14:40,433 --> 00:14:41,700 - MAN, THAT WAS RAW! 412 00:14:41,734 --> 00:14:43,333 THAT WAS RAW. 413 00:14:43,367 --> 00:14:45,000 CREATORS, REACTIONS. 414 00:14:45,033 --> 00:14:46,467 - I HATED IT! - OH. 415 00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:48,734 THAT'S HURTFUL. - AND I THINK THE VOICE SHE USED 416 00:14:48,767 --> 00:14:51,467 JUST STOLE FOCUS FROM THE WORDS. 417 00:14:51,500 --> 00:14:54,333 - OKAY. I DON'T... CARE FOR YOU. 418 00:14:54,367 --> 00:14:56,367 AS A PERSON. 419 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,000 MOM, WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT MY POEM? 420 00:14:58,033 --> 00:15:02,066 - WELL, I APPRECIATE CREATIVITY IN ANY FORM. 421 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:05,000 SO...SNAPS TO YOU, FELLOW CREATOR. 422 00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:11,734 - ARE WE JUST GONNA SIT HERE OUTSIDE SCOOTER'S HOUSE 423 00:15:11,734 --> 00:15:13,734 EATING BEEF JERKY ALL DAY? 424 00:15:13,734 --> 00:15:16,000 - YEAH. THAT'S KINDA WHAT YOU DO ON A STAKEOUT-- 425 00:15:16,033 --> 00:15:18,000 - WHY DON'T YOU CALL YOUR SOURCE OR SOMETHING? 426 00:15:18,033 --> 00:15:19,133 - MY SOURCE? - YEAH, THAT GUY 427 00:15:19,166 --> 00:15:20,400 THAT YOU GET BAGELS FROM 428 00:15:20,433 --> 00:15:21,667 THAT YOU ALSO GET INFORMATION? - NO. 429 00:15:21,700 --> 00:15:23,633 HE WAS JUST ASKING ME IF I WANTED CREAM CHEESE ON THAT. 430 00:15:23,667 --> 00:15:25,567 - OKAY, WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE A SOURCE--YOU'RE A COP. 431 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,300 - MAGGIE...Y-YOU KNOW THAT HE'S PROBABLY 432 00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:28,600 JUST FINE, RIGHT? 433 00:15:28,633 --> 00:15:30,367 - YEAH, WELL, HOW WOULD I KNOW THAT? 434 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,600 - BECAUSE HE'S A GROWN-ASS MAN, MARGARET. 435 00:15:32,633 --> 00:15:35,100 HE'S PROBABLY JUST BLOWING OFF SOME STEAM 436 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,500 AT A DAVE & BUSTER'S. 437 00:15:36,533 --> 00:15:38,233 - HE'S NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE. 438 00:15:38,266 --> 00:15:40,033 HE ALWAYS CALLS ME BACK. 439 00:15:40,066 --> 00:15:43,633 - WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN DIVORCED BEFORE. 440 00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:45,500 - I'M STILL NOT TECHNICALLY DIVORCED NOW. 441 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,200 - YEAH. YOU NEED TO GET ON THAT. 442 00:15:47,233 --> 00:15:49,367 - GOD, WHY DOES EVERYBODY KEEP TELLING ME THAT? 443 00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:51,133 - YOU STILL DON'T WANT TO BE MARRIED TO THE GUY, DO YOU? 444 00:15:51,166 --> 00:15:53,100 - NO. OF COURSE NOT. - THEN YOU GOTTA LET HIM GO. 445 00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:55,500 - WELL, I'M JUST SUPPOSED TO DO THAT OVERNIGHT? 446 00:15:55,533 --> 00:15:58,000 I WAS WITH HIM FOR 13 YEARS. IT'S NOT--YOU JUST TURN OFF 447 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,567 CARING ABOUT SOMEBODY LIKE THAT. 448 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,433 - I KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT TAKES... 449 00:16:01,467 --> 00:16:03,533 IT TAKES TIME. IT'S A PROCESS. 450 00:16:03,567 --> 00:16:05,233 IT'S JUST, UH... I DON'T KNOW, 451 00:16:05,266 --> 00:16:07,567 YOU KNOW, LIKE WITH-- WHEN--WHEN EMMA LEFT. 452 00:16:07,600 --> 00:16:09,734 YOU KNOW, THAT WAS-- THAT SUCKED. 453 00:16:09,767 --> 00:16:11,533 BUT, UH, EVENTUALLY, I GOT OVER IT. 454 00:16:11,533 --> 00:16:13,166 - MM-HMM. - WHICH DOESN'T MEAN 455 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,133 YOU STOP CARING, YOU KNOW, IT'S... 456 00:16:15,166 --> 00:16:17,533 YOU JUST GET OVER IT. - SO YOU STILL CARE ABOUT HER? 457 00:16:17,533 --> 00:16:20,033 - OKAY, SLOW YOUR ROLL, CLARICE. 458 00:16:20,066 --> 00:16:22,000 WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME. - YOU SAID YOU ALWAYS 459 00:16:22,033 --> 00:16:23,667 WILL CARE ABOUT HER. - I'M JUST SAYING IN GENERAL 460 00:16:23,667 --> 00:16:25,734 FOR MOST--FOR ALL... HUMANS 461 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,567 THAT WHEN YOU BREAK UP WITH SOME-- 462 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:29,600 NOW, WHY--DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 463 00:16:29,633 --> 00:16:31,166 WE'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU. 464 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,600 - IT'S JUST SO CRAZY HOW WE ENDED UP HERE, YOU KNOW? 465 00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:35,667 WHEN IT WAS STARTING, IT WAS SO GOOD, 466 00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:38,266 AND HE WAS, LIKE, SO SWEET ON OUR FIRST DATE. 467 00:16:38,300 --> 00:16:39,467 - WHAT'D YOU GUYS DO? 468 00:16:39,500 --> 00:16:43,700 - HE MADE ME TILAPIA ROLLED IN CRUSHED PRETZELS. 469 00:16:43,700 --> 00:16:46,533 HE SAID IT WAS LIKE A TAKE FIVE BAR BUT WITH FISH. 470 00:16:50,066 --> 00:16:51,700 AND THEN... HE TOOK ME ON A WALK. 471 00:16:51,700 --> 00:16:54,100 HE SAID HE JUST WANTED TO WALK. 472 00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:56,367 THEN WE STOPPED AND GOT COKE FLOATS, 473 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,767 AND THEN WE JUST SAT IN A-- 474 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:01,033 OH, MY GOD. 475 00:17:01,033 --> 00:17:03,000 I KNOW WHERE HE IS. 476 00:17:03,033 --> 00:17:05,000 - YOU DO? - LET'S GO. YEAH. 477 00:17:05,033 --> 00:17:06,300 LET'S GO. - NO. NO, NO, NO. 478 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:09,066 WE DON'T PUT THAT ON UNLESS IT'S AN EMERGENCY. 479 00:17:09,100 --> 00:17:10,367 - MARK. 480 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,200 - RIGHT. SCREW IT. YEAH. LET'S PUT IT ON. 481 00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:14,133 - FIRE 'EM UP AND TEAR IT OFF AND TEAR IT DOWN! 482 00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:15,467 - WE'RE NOT TEARING 483 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,500 ANYTHING OFF. 484 00:17:25,133 --> 00:17:26,633 - OH, BRUCE. 485 00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:45,000 WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU, BUDDY? 486 00:17:45,033 --> 00:17:47,467 - WHEN YOU CALLED AND SAID FOR ME TO PICK UP MY BOXES, 487 00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,367 I JUST THOUGHT... 488 00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,066 I'M NOT READY FOR THIS TO BE OVER. 489 00:17:51,066 --> 00:17:53,333 - BUT YOU CHEATED ON ME. 490 00:17:53,367 --> 00:17:54,734 - FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, I'M GONNA BE WISHING 491 00:17:54,767 --> 00:17:56,767 I COULD GET IN THAT DELOREAN AND GO BACK IN TIME 492 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,400 JUST BEFORE IT HAPPENED AND THEN NOT DO THAT. 493 00:17:59,433 --> 00:18:01,533 - OKAY, WELL, YOU WOULD HAVE TO TAKE THE DELOREAN 494 00:18:01,567 --> 00:18:03,033 BACK EVEN FURTHER, 495 00:18:03,066 --> 00:18:06,433 BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T BEEN HAPPY FOR, LIKE, A LONG TIME. 496 00:18:06,467 --> 00:18:08,333 RIGHT, MCFLY? 497 00:18:08,367 --> 00:18:10,667 - BUT YOU FOUND ME, SO... 498 00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,633 OBVIOUSLY, THAT MEANS THAT YOU MUST HAVE 499 00:18:12,667 --> 00:18:14,367 SOME FEELINGS LEFT FOR ME. 500 00:18:14,367 --> 00:18:15,767 - YEAH, OF COURSE I DO. 501 00:18:15,767 --> 00:18:17,433 AND I WILL ALWAYS CARE ABOUT YOU, 502 00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:18,500 BUT IT'S REALLY OVER. 503 00:18:18,533 --> 00:18:20,400 AND IT'S GONNA BE HARD AND WEIRD 504 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,700 AND, YOU KNOW, UNCOMFORTABLE 505 00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,500 AND COMPLICATED, 506 00:18:24,533 --> 00:18:27,433 BUT WE NEED TO FIGURE IT OUT, AND WE NEED TO DO IT SOON, 507 00:18:27,467 --> 00:18:29,233 BECAUSE WHEN SHE COMES OUT, 508 00:18:29,266 --> 00:18:31,767 WE GOTTA AT LEAST PRETEND THAT WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING. 509 00:18:31,767 --> 00:18:33,300 - YEAH. - YEAH? 510 00:18:33,333 --> 00:18:34,667 - YEAH. 511 00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,300 'CAUSE I DEFINITELY DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. 512 00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:38,100 - NEITHER DO I. - I'M GONNA SURPRISE YOU 513 00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:39,367 AND BE GREAT AT THAT, THOUGH. 514 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:41,100 - I HOPE YOU ARE. 515 00:18:41,133 --> 00:18:42,667 - I'M A DARK HORSE. 516 00:18:42,700 --> 00:18:44,400 OKAY. 517 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,233 WELL, I WOULD ASK IF YOU WANT A RIDE HOME, BUT, UM... 518 00:18:47,266 --> 00:18:49,133 I'M TRYING TO WORK ON MY BOUNDARIES. 519 00:18:49,133 --> 00:18:51,133 - ME TOO. PLUS I WANNA WALK A LITTLE. 520 00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:52,533 - OKAY. GOOD IDEA. - YEAH. 521 00:18:52,533 --> 00:18:55,033 - ALL RIGHT, COME GET YOUR BOXES AND, UM, 522 00:18:55,066 --> 00:18:57,266 ALSO, EMMA ATE ALL YOUR CHEESE. 523 00:18:57,266 --> 00:19:00,266 - I'M SORRY? - I SAID EMMA ATE YOUR CHEESE. 524 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:01,400 - HA. THAT'S FUNNY. 525 00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,400 IT SOUNDED LIKE YOU SAID EMMA ATE ALL MY CHEESE. 526 00:19:03,433 --> 00:19:04,667 - THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 527 00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:08,600 - DID YOU EVER THINK YOU WOULD LIVE TO SEE THE DAY 528 00:19:08,633 --> 00:19:11,000 YOU'D HAVE YOUR OWN CRAFTING CORNER? 529 00:19:11,033 --> 00:19:12,266 - LOOK--I COULD TAKE A MASON JAR, 530 00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:14,266 FILL IT WITH HANDMADE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES, 531 00:19:14,266 --> 00:19:17,300 WRAP IT IN A RAFFIA RIBBON OFF MY RIBBON ORGANIZER, 532 00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:19,100 AND THEN HERE YOU GO-- HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 533 00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:21,133 - I MEAN, SEE? YOU GET RID OF BRUCE'S GARBAGE, 534 00:19:21,133 --> 00:19:22,533 YOU'RE LIVING A GODDAMN DREAM. 535 00:19:22,533 --> 00:19:24,300 - STRAIGHT OUT OF THE PAGES OF PINTEREST. 536 00:19:24,333 --> 00:19:26,133 - YOU KNOW, I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHY IT TOOK YOU SO LONG 537 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:28,266 TO MOVEON.ORG, RIGHT? - WELL, YOU'RE ONE TO TALK. 538 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,667 - WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? - I'M JUST SAYING 539 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,400 I THINK WE CAN BOTH AGREE THAT WE HAVE TROUBLE 540 00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:33,033 MOVING ON FROM OLD RELATIONSHIPS, RIGHT? 541 00:19:33,033 --> 00:19:36,333 - WHAT, ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ME AND MY MOM? 542 00:19:36,367 --> 00:19:38,233 OH! 543 00:19:38,266 --> 00:19:41,100 GREAT! SO NOW YOU HAVE YOUR OWN WRAPPING STATION, 544 00:19:41,133 --> 00:19:42,700 YOU KNOW EVERYTHING? 545 00:19:42,700 --> 00:19:45,000 WELL, I FEEL TERRIBLE. 546 00:19:45,033 --> 00:19:46,633 - HERE YOU GO. 547 00:19:46,667 --> 00:19:48,433 LITTLE SUNSHINE FOR YA. 548 00:19:48,467 --> 00:19:50,567 - DO I HAVE TO GO TALK TO HER NOW? 549 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,166 - NOW. - DO I HAVE TO-- 550 00:19:55,166 --> 00:19:56,500 - YEAH. - BLEHH! 551 00:20:01,433 --> 00:20:03,266 - UM, MOM? 552 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:04,700 - AH, HERE WE GO. - NO, NO. 553 00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:06,467 I'M NOT HERE TO MAKE A SCENE. 554 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:08,633 I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I GET IT. 555 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,633 YOU DON'T WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME. 556 00:20:10,667 --> 00:20:11,767 THAT'S FINE. 557 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,000 SO I'M GONNA STOP PURSUING YOU, ALL RIGHT? 558 00:20:15,033 --> 00:20:16,166 SO... 559 00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:19,200 GOOD DAY TO YOU, MOTHER. 560 00:20:19,233 --> 00:20:22,200 - WHY DO YOU WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH ME AFTER ALL THESE YEARS 561 00:20:22,233 --> 00:20:25,200 WHEN ALL YOU EVER SAID I DID WAS IRRITATE YOU? 562 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,166 - I DON'T KNOW. 'CAUSE YOU'RE MY MOM. 563 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,333 - WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? 564 00:20:30,367 --> 00:20:32,700 THAT YOUR HAIR COULD USE MY LAYERS? 565 00:20:32,734 --> 00:20:35,066 THAT...YOUR SKIN TONE IS ASHY? 566 00:20:35,066 --> 00:20:37,433 GRAY? MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A CORPSE. 567 00:20:37,467 --> 00:20:39,033 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT? 568 00:20:39,066 --> 00:20:42,066 YOU LOOK BETTER IN SATURATED COLORS! 569 00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,734 DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD? 570 00:20:43,767 --> 00:20:47,166 WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE? - I'M HUGGING YOU, MOM. 571 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,467 DO THIS. 572 00:20:54,633 --> 00:20:57,367 - ARE WE SLOW DANCING NOW? - OKAY. 573 00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,767 - ARE YOU REALLY WEARING... 574 00:20:58,767 --> 00:21:00,600 A THONG RIGHT NOW? 575 00:21:00,633 --> 00:21:02,600 BECAUSE IF YOU ARE, YOU'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE. 576 00:21:02,633 --> 00:21:04,367 - GOOD-BYE, MOM. - THAT YEAST 577 00:21:04,367 --> 00:21:06,367 IS MULTIPLYING AS WE SPEAK. 578 00:21:06,367 --> 00:21:09,133 YOU NEED TO LET IT BREATHE! 579 00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:15,300 SILENCE OF THE LAMBS, OR THIS. 580 00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:16,633 - "A 'POME'. 581 00:21:16,633 --> 00:21:19,533 TRANSCENDENTLY CRUSHED BY MALCOLM-JAMAL WARNER. 582 00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:24,000 "THE BONES WITHERED. 583 00:21:24,033 --> 00:21:27,367 THE PRISON IS THE REAL ZOO." 584 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,333 AH! I'M SCARED! 585 00:21:30,367 --> 00:21:34,400 OH! OH, NO! 586 00:21:34,433 --> 00:21:36,567 AH... 587 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:38,033 AH! 588 00:21:38,066 --> 00:21:40,600 - IT'S...WONDERFUL. 589 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,600 - IT'S NOT DONE. - WHAT? OH. 590 00:21:42,633 --> 00:21:44,467 AH... 591 00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:46,000 OH-- - I'D RATHER WATCH A MAN 592 00:21:46,033 --> 00:21:47,500 EAT ANOTHER MAN'S FACE OFF 593 00:21:47,533 --> 00:21:49,533 THAN ENDURE ONE MORE SECOND OF THIS. 594 00:21:49,533 --> 00:21:50,734 - OKAY. - ARE YOU SURE? 595 00:21:50,767 --> 00:21:52,433 - YEAH. - OKAY, THEN, ZACH, 596 00:21:52,467 --> 00:21:54,100 YOUR WORK HERE IS DONE. - WHAT? 597 00:21:54,133 --> 00:21:56,033 NO, NO, WHAT IS HAPPENING? NO, NO, I DON'T WANT TO 598 00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:57,533 DO THIS--PLEASE! - YOU SAID YOU WERE 599 00:21:57,533 --> 00:22:00,600 GONNA WATCH IT. 43834

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