All language subtitles for Broad City 5x02 - Shework and Shit Bucket (English)

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,527 --> 00:00:08,735 Since consciously uncoupling from Deals, Deals, Deals, 2 00:00:08,746 --> 00:00:11,608 I've been catering regularly and babysitting whenever I need dat cash. 3 00:00:11,619 --> 00:00:13,880 Although I was making an ass-load of money at 4 00:00:13,891 --> 00:00:16,165 Sushi Mambeaux until they got shut the eff down 5 00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:18,407 for a gnarly bed bugs infestation. 6 00:00:18,408 --> 00:00:19,890 I'm clean now. I'm... I'm fully clean. 7 00:00:19,891 --> 00:00:21,821 Uh, wow, uh, usually, we don't get 8 00:00:21,822 --> 00:00:23,484 everybody's back story. 9 00:00:23,495 --> 00:00:25,855 That's, uh, surprising. 10 00:00:25,856 --> 00:00:28,096 Living on the edge. 11 00:00:32,063 --> 00:00:33,200 To circle back... 12 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:37,524 We have medium-speed Wi-Fi, draft beer on tap... 13 00:00:37,535 --> 00:00:38,786 Okay, what? 14 00:00:38,787 --> 00:00:40,924 Girl, I hope I get to work here! 15 00:00:40,925 --> 00:00:42,372 So do we! 16 00:00:42,373 --> 00:00:44,131 It'd be $500 a month. 17 00:00:44,132 --> 00:00:47,131 Okay, I was thinking more like $1,000. 18 00:00:47,132 --> 00:00:49,545 Whoa, that would get you a way bigger office. 19 00:00:49,546 --> 00:00:50,924 All right, I'm just gonna say it. 20 00:00:50,925 --> 00:00:53,200 Does this mean I'm freakin' hired? 21 00:00:54,373 --> 00:00:56,165 Hired? 22 00:00:56,166 --> 00:00:58,131 Aren't you renting an office space? 23 00:00:58,132 --> 00:01:01,407 I thought I was interviewing for the office manager position? 24 00:01:01,408 --> 00:01:03,580 We're the office manager. 25 00:01:05,339 --> 00:01:07,234 Is this... 26 00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:08,890 Yeah, 495 Broadway. 27 00:01:08,891 --> 00:01:10,269 490. 28 00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:12,648 Pffft! 29 00:01:13,753 --> 00:01:15,579 Classic me. 30 00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:16,959 Whoop! Sorry! 31 00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:19,131 Also, got to say... what an hysterical 32 00:01:19,132 --> 00:01:20,959 business model to brand this as, like, 33 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:24,007 a shared co-working space when really you're 34 00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:25,833 storing people in what are essentially closets 35 00:01:25,844 --> 00:01:27,407 after luring them in with these, like, 36 00:01:27,408 --> 00:01:29,476 seemingly high-end perks, but it's also, like, 37 00:01:29,477 --> 00:01:32,614 a bag of beer in a trash can under a counter. 38 00:01:32,615 --> 00:01:36,131 YouWork is a multi- billion-dollar corporation. 39 00:01:38,787 --> 00:01:40,614 That is fucking genius. 40 00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:45,821 Guys, don't waste my time like this again. 41 00:01:46,925 --> 00:01:48,786 Nice meeting you. 42 00:02:00,613 --> 00:02:03,206 - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com - 43 00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:10,993 Uh, okay, Fernando, I swear I don't know 44 00:02:10,994 --> 00:02:12,365 why it keeps getting clogged. 45 00:02:12,376 --> 00:02:14,717 Listen, lady, toilet paper's not gonna make it through 46 00:02:14,718 --> 00:02:16,821 these old pipes, much less your tampons 47 00:02:16,822 --> 00:02:19,200 and maxi pads with wings for heavy flow. 48 00:02:19,201 --> 00:02:22,131 Okay, first of all, I have an extra-heavy flow. 49 00:02:22,132 --> 00:02:24,855 Second of all, I don't flush my tampons 50 00:02:24,856 --> 00:02:26,476 and pads down the toilet. 51 00:02:26,477 --> 00:02:28,924 Third of all, you're saying I can't flush toilet paper? 52 00:02:28,925 --> 00:02:31,338 Well, if you must wipe, well, the other residents 53 00:02:31,339 --> 00:02:34,165 use a separate garbage can for their used toilet paper, 54 00:02:34,166 --> 00:02:35,855 and they don't make a stink about it. 55 00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,717 Stink. 56 00:02:37,718 --> 00:02:41,717 So I can't poop, wipe, and flush in my own apartment? 57 00:02:41,718 --> 00:02:43,510 I mean, that's some third-world shit. 58 00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,062 You mean developing nation. 59 00:02:45,063 --> 00:02:46,855 I-I-I did mean that. 60 00:02:46,856 --> 00:02:48,165 That is... That is right. 61 00:02:48,166 --> 00:02:50,752 Well, I grew up using a shit bucket. 62 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:54,234 And I did not mean that in a bad way. 63 00:02:54,235 --> 00:02:55,372 I meant it in a great way. 64 00:02:55,373 --> 00:02:56,993 Growing up like that is dope. 65 00:02:56,994 --> 00:02:58,338 You know what? I'm gonna get one. 66 00:02:58,339 --> 00:02:59,476 I'm just gonna get one. 67 00:02:59,477 --> 00:03:01,303 I'll get a shit bucket. 68 00:03:05,580 --> 00:03:08,924 All right, got some snacks, dawg, yeah. 69 00:03:10,132 --> 00:03:11,441 All right, where the fuck 70 00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,028 was this interview supposed to be? 71 00:03:13,029 --> 00:03:15,855 Shit, phone... 72 00:03:17,787 --> 00:03:19,752 I love this city. 73 00:03:59,063 --> 00:04:00,234 Sorry. 74 00:04:00,235 --> 00:04:01,476 Oh, shit. 75 00:04:01,477 --> 00:04:03,476 Sorry. 76 00:04:04,856 --> 00:04:07,029 Oh, no. 77 00:04:09,270 --> 00:04:10,441 I just moved here. 78 00:04:10,442 --> 00:04:12,752 Cool. 79 00:04:26,925 --> 00:04:29,614 All right, all right, all right! 80 00:04:30,822 --> 00:04:31,959 All right. 81 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,304 Geez. 82 00:04:35,546 --> 00:04:37,131 Linda freakin' Lodi? 83 00:04:37,132 --> 00:04:39,269 Linda! 84 00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:40,821 Linda, hey! 85 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:42,441 Hey, It's Ilana Wexler! 86 00:04:42,442 --> 00:04:44,269 I used to work for you at your temp agency! 87 00:04:44,270 --> 00:04:46,200 - Ilana? - Come on over! 88 00:04:46,201 --> 00:04:47,683 That's so crazy. 89 00:04:47,684 --> 00:04:49,200 - Hey! - Ilana, hi! 90 00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:50,372 Oh, my gosh. 91 00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,614 So, how are you? 92 00:04:51,615 --> 00:04:54,303 Good, good. I'm just, uh, working over there in that coffee shop. 93 00:04:54,304 --> 00:04:55,648 What are you working on? 94 00:04:55,649 --> 00:04:57,855 Oh, well, I'm working on my screenplay. 95 00:04:57,856 --> 00:04:59,545 "We Lost Grandma at the Water Park." 96 00:04:59,546 --> 00:05:01,786 That sounds hilarious. 97 00:05:01,787 --> 00:05:03,821 Oh, well, it's a... it's a drama, actually. 98 00:05:03,822 --> 00:05:05,441 Dope. Dope. 99 00:05:05,442 --> 00:05:06,959 But, uh, it's good. It's good. 100 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,028 I just... the only thing is I have to keep an eye on 101 00:05:09,029 --> 00:05:11,718 my stuff and my son every time I want to take a smoke break. 102 00:05:11,729 --> 00:05:13,676 I mean, they didn't used to kick us out of places 103 00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:16,924 for smoking in the '90s, right? 104 00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,752 You know, I never thought about it like that. 105 00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:20,752 Anti-smoking is discriminatory. 106 00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:23,580 I just want a place where I can work and smoke. 107 00:05:25,718 --> 00:05:29,545 You know, Linda, today might be your lucky day 108 00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:33,407 because I have a situation starting up here where you can 109 00:05:33,408 --> 00:05:36,717 sit and smoke and charge your phone and your devices and work, 110 00:05:36,718 --> 00:05:39,441 and you never have to let your belongings leave your sight. 111 00:05:39,442 --> 00:05:41,683 Whoa, that actually sounds kind of perfect. 112 00:05:41,684 --> 00:05:43,993 Um, well, uh, how much do you charge? 113 00:05:43,994 --> 00:05:47,062 We are charging... 114 00:05:47,063 --> 00:05:49,993 50 cents a minute. 115 00:05:49,994 --> 00:05:51,683 You know what? I'll take it. 116 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,510 Here. 117 00:05:54,511 --> 00:05:56,717 40 minutes... 45, I'll give ya. 118 00:05:56,718 --> 00:05:58,890 All right, awesome. I'll go get my stuff. 119 00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:02,924 Yes, awesome, get your stuff, and then come back. 120 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:15,338 Abbi! 121 00:06:15,339 --> 00:06:17,407 - Man, I got you again! - Every time, man. 122 00:06:17,408 --> 00:06:20,269 Come on, girl. Bring it in. 123 00:06:37,132 --> 00:06:38,925 Hoo! 124 00:06:40,787 --> 00:06:42,648 Doo, doo, doo. Doo, doo, doo. 125 00:06:42,649 --> 00:06:44,338 Doo, doo, doo. Doo, doo, doo. 126 00:06:44,339 --> 00:06:46,029 Pshh! 127 00:06:52,925 --> 00:06:54,476 So, what you looking for, Abb? 128 00:06:54,477 --> 00:06:57,476 Okay, so, this is a little bit embarrassing, 129 00:06:57,477 --> 00:06:58,993 but my building's pre-World War I 130 00:06:58,994 --> 00:07:00,316 in the plumbing, and it's, like, really... 131 00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:03,993 Say no more. Bath accessories. 132 00:07:03,994 --> 00:07:05,372 Dope, dude, thanks. 133 00:07:05,373 --> 00:07:06,648 Great seeing you. 134 00:07:06,649 --> 00:07:09,063 You too. Holla at me, Abb! 135 00:07:13,822 --> 00:07:15,648 Hey, dude, I'm in the middle of trying to find 136 00:07:15,649 --> 00:07:16,821 this thing at BB&B. 137 00:07:16,822 --> 00:07:18,338 Hold up, you're at BB&B, Abbi? 138 00:07:18,339 --> 00:07:19,821 Can you grab me six power strips 139 00:07:19,822 --> 00:07:21,200 and six extension cords and meet me at that place 140 00:07:21,201 --> 00:07:23,372 where that dude gave you that condom stat? 141 00:07:23,373 --> 00:07:26,062 Well, I was gonna say stuff, too. 142 00:07:29,822 --> 00:07:32,407 Holy shit bucket. 143 00:07:38,339 --> 00:07:40,717 Dude, what is all of this? 144 00:07:40,718 --> 00:07:42,062 Welcome to SheWork. 145 00:07:42,063 --> 00:07:44,303 We are officially open for shiz-ness. 146 00:07:44,304 --> 00:07:45,752 What is SheWork? 147 00:07:45,753 --> 00:07:47,338 SheWork is an inclusive work environment 148 00:07:47,339 --> 00:07:48,959 that caters to smokers. 149 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,821 I see a bunch of... no offense... 150 00:07:50,822 --> 00:07:54,096 trash furniture and two people smoking cigarettes. 151 00:07:54,097 --> 00:07:55,614 Walk with me. 152 00:07:55,615 --> 00:07:58,028 So, SheWork uses the urban landscape for 153 00:07:58,029 --> 00:08:00,510 a fast-paced work space with no boundaries. 154 00:08:00,511 --> 00:08:02,234 Huh. If parkour is using the city 155 00:08:02,235 --> 00:08:05,234 as your gym, SheWork is using the city as your office. 156 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:06,407 So, correct me if I'm wrong. 157 00:08:06,408 --> 00:08:07,821 People are paying you 158 00:08:07,822 --> 00:08:10,407 to use the free public charging stations? 159 00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:13,303 So what? All the great male entrepreneurs do it, okay? 160 00:08:13,304 --> 00:08:15,303 They take something that already exists, 161 00:08:15,304 --> 00:08:17,717 claim it was their idea, throw in some fancy furniture, 162 00:08:17,718 --> 00:08:19,165 and charge double for it. 163 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,062 For letting people sit on your junk and smoke? 164 00:08:21,063 --> 00:08:23,028 Exactly. 165 00:08:23,029 --> 00:08:25,165 Wait, Ilana, hold on, hold on, hold on. 166 00:08:25,166 --> 00:08:26,752 I'm... I'm sorry. 167 00:08:26,753 --> 00:08:28,303 Smoking cigarettes is disgusting. 168 00:08:28,304 --> 00:08:31,993 Okay, smoking is obvs heinous... 169 00:08:31,994 --> 00:08:33,821 But who am I to judge a nicotine addiction? 170 00:08:33,822 --> 00:08:36,200 I mean, I'm... fully addicted to weed. 171 00:08:36,201 --> 00:08:37,959 True. Okay, you got the stuff. 172 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,510 I thank you, bitch. Oh, yeah. 173 00:08:39,511 --> 00:08:41,131 Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. 174 00:08:41,132 --> 00:08:43,234 Great, thank you so much. 175 00:08:43,235 --> 00:08:45,028 And, actually, a trash can is the only thing 176 00:08:45,029 --> 00:08:46,510 we don't need here at SheWork. 177 00:08:46,511 --> 00:08:48,200 No, no, no. This is actually mine, 178 00:08:48,201 --> 00:08:49,648 uh, my shit bucket, so... 179 00:08:49,649 --> 00:08:50,752 Come again? 180 00:08:50,753 --> 00:08:53,407 It... It's my shit bucket. 181 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:54,683 Pardon me? 182 00:08:54,684 --> 00:08:56,372 My... I had to get a shit bucket. 183 00:08:56,373 --> 00:08:57,855 Okay, um... 184 00:08:57,856 --> 00:09:00,028 Who, what, how, when, where, and why? 185 00:09:00,029 --> 00:09:01,163 Okay, it's a funny story. 186 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,579 Uh, you know how my toilet is always getting clogged. 187 00:09:03,580 --> 00:09:06,522 Pfft. Yeah. 188 00:09:06,533 --> 00:09:09,372 Um, so, Fernando actually let me know that I can't 189 00:09:09,373 --> 00:09:11,821 flush toilet paper anymore, and actually I have to 190 00:09:11,822 --> 00:09:14,234 discard it in a separate bin right next to the toilet. 191 00:09:14,235 --> 00:09:15,407 So what'd you say to him? 192 00:09:15,408 --> 00:09:18,752 So, then I said... I said... 193 00:09:18,753 --> 00:09:21,821 I said, "Fernando, I will get that shit bucket." 194 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:24,096 That's what I said, and I got... I got one. 195 00:09:24,097 --> 00:09:25,545 Oh, Abbi. Dude, I was, like... 196 00:09:25,546 --> 00:09:26,924 I was standing there, and I was just, 197 00:09:26,925 --> 00:09:28,441 like, so stunned by what was going on, 198 00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,959 I got bullied into buying a shit bucket. 199 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,648 You know, and I think we should take this issue 200 00:09:31,649 --> 00:09:32,993 into the community-action wing of SheWork. 201 00:09:32,994 --> 00:09:35,269 - Oh, wow, is there whole other...? - Come on. 202 00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:36,614 Okay. Oh. 203 00:09:36,615 --> 00:09:38,717 So, we have to review our resources. 204 00:09:38,718 --> 00:09:39,831 Okay. 205 00:09:39,842 --> 00:09:42,108 - The printer/scanner. - So, there's a scanning function. 206 00:09:42,119 --> 00:09:44,234 What you're gonna do is scan your tits, or your ass. 207 00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:45,568 Make a shit ton of copies. 208 00:09:45,579 --> 00:09:48,545 Disseminate them to all your neighbors but get this... anonymously. 209 00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:50,441 Everybody's like, "What's going on?" 210 00:09:50,442 --> 00:09:51,605 Whose tits are these? 211 00:09:51,616 --> 00:09:53,545 Meanwhile, you've planted a stack of the tits 212 00:09:53,546 --> 00:09:55,890 in Fernando's office, and you pipe up, and you say, 213 00:09:55,891 --> 00:09:58,441 "You know, I-I think it might be Fernando, 214 00:09:58,442 --> 00:10:00,924 and while we're on the topic, why are we shitting in buckets?" 215 00:10:00,925 --> 00:10:02,407 SheWork... boosh! 216 00:10:02,408 --> 00:10:03,959 Dude, you are so close on that. 217 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:06,062 Okay, what if I print out a petition, okay? 218 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,479 Uh-huh. I go around to my neighbors, 219 00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:09,096 and I'm like, "Guys, this is an important issue." 220 00:10:09,097 --> 00:10:10,579 We shouldn't be shitting in shit buckets, okay?" 221 00:10:10,580 --> 00:10:12,821 I get the full signed petition, take it back to Fernando, 222 00:10:12,822 --> 00:10:15,441 and I'm like, "Majority rules, man. Change is coming." 223 00:10:15,442 --> 00:10:17,303 Ooh, you are full-blown grassroots. 224 00:10:17,304 --> 00:10:19,867 You are the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of Astoria. 225 00:10:19,878 --> 00:10:22,096 You're the Jewish Shirley Chisholm of toilets. 226 00:10:22,097 --> 00:10:24,786 Yes, I am gonna shit in my toilet and flush. 227 00:10:24,787 --> 00:10:26,855 Yes. Go get your bucket and take care of your shit. 228 00:10:26,856 --> 00:10:28,648 Come on. 229 00:10:28,649 --> 00:10:30,407 Take care of your shit. 230 00:10:30,408 --> 00:10:31,441 I love you, Abb. 231 00:10:31,442 --> 00:10:33,786 Ah, and I love SheWork. 232 00:10:33,787 --> 00:10:34,941 Miss, hi. 233 00:10:34,952 --> 00:10:37,269 Are you sick of being treated like a filthy outsider 234 00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:39,545 at work because of your tragic smoking habit? 235 00:10:45,477 --> 00:10:47,993 How's that Wi-Fi working, L.L.? 236 00:10:47,994 --> 00:10:52,303 Ha, ha. Charging Station-Guest is coming in clear as day. 237 00:10:52,304 --> 00:10:55,096 You know, we are growing rapidly, and I'm starting to 238 00:10:55,097 --> 00:10:58,614 have to focus on expansion, so would you feel comfortable 239 00:10:58,615 --> 00:10:59,890 watching the fort? 240 00:10:59,891 --> 00:11:02,096 Would I? 241 00:11:04,097 --> 00:11:06,855 No, I-I was asking... 242 00:11:20,891 --> 00:11:23,648 Hello, um, my name is Abbi Abrams, and... 243 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:27,441 I don't want to buy any Girl Scout Cookies. 244 00:11:27,442 --> 00:11:31,338 No, no, no. I-I'm not a Girl Scout anymore. 245 00:11:31,339 --> 00:11:32,527 I'm a grown... 246 00:11:32,538 --> 00:11:34,400 I-I'm actually your neighbor. 247 00:11:34,411 --> 00:11:36,372 I'm just going around letting everyone know 248 00:11:36,373 --> 00:11:39,855 that I'm having a tenant meeting today in the lobby... 249 00:11:39,856 --> 00:11:43,683 I have lived in this building for 31 years, 250 00:11:43,684 --> 00:11:46,200 and I've never seen you. 251 00:11:46,201 --> 00:11:47,717 Well... 252 00:11:47,718 --> 00:11:50,545 Wait, are you Melody's roommate? 253 00:11:50,546 --> 00:11:52,441 You know Melody? Yes. 254 00:11:52,442 --> 00:11:55,028 She dates that wonderful young man 255 00:11:55,029 --> 00:11:58,165 who always brings me delicious cheeses. 256 00:11:58,166 --> 00:12:01,028 That's, um... That's Bevers. 257 00:12:01,029 --> 00:12:03,441 They're the loveliest. I love them, as well. 258 00:12:03,442 --> 00:12:05,717 Um, and I'm actually walking around today 259 00:12:05,718 --> 00:12:07,579 to talk about the shit... to talk about 260 00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:09,924 the plumbing problem in the building. 261 00:12:09,925 --> 00:12:11,683 How old are you? 262 00:12:11,684 --> 00:12:13,096 I'm newly... 263 00:12:13,097 --> 00:12:16,717 You hippies are the reason that sandwiches 264 00:12:16,718 --> 00:12:20,200 in this neighborhood cost $16 265 00:12:20,201 --> 00:12:23,165 with your Sriracha and your oat milk. 266 00:12:23,166 --> 00:12:26,717 What's wrong with cow milk?! 267 00:12:26,718 --> 00:12:28,510 Well... Sheesh! 268 00:12:28,521 --> 00:12:31,165 Cow's milk makes me have to shit! 269 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:35,096 Which is what I came here to talk to you about in the first place. 270 00:12:59,753 --> 00:13:02,096 Ooh, God, I'm rich. 271 00:13:02,097 --> 00:13:04,063 This city's full of trash. 272 00:13:05,373 --> 00:13:08,924 This is a very important meeting of the building, 273 00:13:08,925 --> 00:13:13,614 and I know you're looking at me like I'm the hot, young 274 00:13:13,615 --> 00:13:14,786 new kid on the block. 275 00:13:14,787 --> 00:13:15,959 You're young? 276 00:13:15,960 --> 00:13:17,752 I'm... I'm 30. 277 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:18,959 I've never seen her before. 278 00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:20,648 Who buzzed her into the building? 279 00:13:20,649 --> 00:13:22,579 I know you. 4H, right? 280 00:13:22,580 --> 00:13:24,165 Yes. Thank you. 281 00:13:24,166 --> 00:13:26,476 Oh, you're the chick who pegged Jeremy. 282 00:13:26,477 --> 00:13:27,993 Yes, of course. 283 00:13:27,994 --> 00:13:29,234 Okay, well... 284 00:13:29,235 --> 00:13:30,338 I heard the moaning. 285 00:13:30,339 --> 00:13:32,579 You got him good. 286 00:13:32,580 --> 00:13:35,683 Sounded like an Earth-shattering orgasm. 287 00:13:35,684 --> 00:13:37,303 Okay. Fine. 288 00:13:37,304 --> 00:13:39,510 You got me. I... I might've pegged Jeremy. 289 00:13:39,511 --> 00:13:41,269 Okay, great. But, listen, guys. 290 00:13:41,270 --> 00:13:43,234 Let's... Let's focus up, okay? 291 00:13:43,235 --> 00:13:45,683 So, maybe, you know, I'm not young. 292 00:13:45,684 --> 00:13:48,683 Great, I'm getting up there. Great. 293 00:13:48,684 --> 00:13:52,269 And maybe you only know me as the chick who pegged Jeremy. 294 00:13:52,270 --> 00:13:53,959 I'm... I'm fine with that. 295 00:13:55,063 --> 00:13:57,786 But allow me to help you, okay? 296 00:13:57,787 --> 00:14:01,372 There's a better quality of life that we can have, okay? 297 00:14:01,373 --> 00:14:03,200 I-I-I'm in the city. 298 00:14:03,201 --> 00:14:05,062 I'm riding the rails. 299 00:14:05,063 --> 00:14:08,165 There are changes that need to be made, okay? 300 00:14:08,166 --> 00:14:11,993 I-I don't know much, but this is what I do know. 301 00:14:11,994 --> 00:14:14,579 This is what I do know! 302 00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:17,338 We can be the change we wish to see. 303 00:14:17,339 --> 00:14:22,028 Let's say "no" to shit buckets. 304 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:24,096 I love Jeremy. 305 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:28,062 If he let her peg, we can probably trust her. 306 00:14:28,063 --> 00:14:29,510 - All right. - My man. 307 00:14:29,511 --> 00:14:31,579 You are my man. Yes. 308 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,545 Listen, uh, let's take a quick pic, 309 00:14:33,546 --> 00:14:36,717 'cause what is activism without posting it on Instagram, right? 310 00:14:36,718 --> 00:14:38,200 I don't know if it exists. 311 00:14:38,201 --> 00:14:39,925 Yeah, great. 312 00:14:41,063 --> 00:14:42,200 Yes! 313 00:14:42,201 --> 00:14:43,372 Hello, Linda. 314 00:14:43,373 --> 00:14:44,683 Ilana. 315 00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,510 Did you notice I signed a new client? 316 00:14:47,511 --> 00:14:49,372 Linda, you exquisite genius! 317 00:14:49,373 --> 00:14:51,062 May I kiss you? 318 00:14:51,063 --> 00:14:52,718 Y-Yes. 319 00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:56,028 Mm, smoky. 320 00:15:01,132 --> 00:15:02,304 So tender. 321 00:15:05,097 --> 00:15:06,993 Fernando, thanks so much for stopping by. 322 00:15:06,994 --> 00:15:08,718 Why don't you take a seat. 323 00:15:11,925 --> 00:15:13,822 It's good. 324 00:15:26,132 --> 00:15:27,786 I called the city. 325 00:15:27,787 --> 00:15:29,786 I told them everything. 326 00:15:29,787 --> 00:15:31,338 I told them about the plumbing. 327 00:15:31,339 --> 00:15:32,959 I told them about the heat. 328 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,096 I told them about every single thing 329 00:15:35,097 --> 00:15:38,200 that needs fixing in this building. 330 00:15:38,201 --> 00:15:39,993 Okay. 331 00:15:39,994 --> 00:15:42,096 Change is gonna come, my friend. 332 00:15:46,304 --> 00:15:48,856 I think you're gonna want to take a look at this. 333 00:15:52,753 --> 00:15:54,856 There you go. 334 00:15:59,994 --> 00:16:01,717 This is not good. 335 00:16:01,718 --> 00:16:03,269 Look. 336 00:16:03,270 --> 00:16:06,855 Fernando, no disrespect to your country... 337 00:16:06,856 --> 00:16:09,786 I'm from Flushing. 338 00:16:09,787 --> 00:16:11,752 I grew up 10 minutes from here. 339 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:14,407 I apologize. 340 00:16:14,408 --> 00:16:17,545 I'll pass along your demands. 341 00:16:18,891 --> 00:16:21,683 I'm the Rosa Parks of poop. 342 00:16:21,684 --> 00:16:22,856 What? 343 00:16:26,615 --> 00:16:27,890 How's everybody doing, huh? 344 00:16:27,891 --> 00:16:29,890 Morty, you want a fresh one? 345 00:16:29,891 --> 00:16:31,821 And, Ms. Katherine, anything for you? 346 00:16:31,822 --> 00:16:33,200 Yes, girl. 347 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:34,441 Bev, anything? 348 00:16:34,442 --> 00:16:35,545 She on a diet. I get it. 349 00:16:35,546 --> 00:16:36,579 James, anything? 350 00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:37,890 Got a birthday coming up. 351 00:16:37,891 --> 00:16:40,200 Debbie, snack, smoke? 352 00:16:40,201 --> 00:16:41,752 I'm not a business bitch. 353 00:16:41,753 --> 00:16:44,062 I am a business, bitch! 354 00:16:44,063 --> 00:16:47,683 SheWork, where your lungs are your goddamn business. 355 00:16:47,684 --> 00:16:50,441 Welcome to SheWork, my privileged brothers. 356 00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:51,717 We've already met. 357 00:16:53,063 --> 00:16:55,924 You know, when you're running a company, you meet a lot of people, so... 358 00:16:55,935 --> 00:16:58,441 Listen, we've been watching you all day, and this is getting out of hand. 359 00:16:58,442 --> 00:17:00,028 Afraid we're gonna have to shut you down. 360 00:17:00,029 --> 00:17:02,234 SheWork is a woman-owned business 361 00:17:02,235 --> 00:17:04,993 founded right here in New York City. You can't shut us down. 362 00:17:04,994 --> 00:17:06,683 Okay, yeah, hm, okay, yeah, go for it. 363 00:17:06,684 --> 00:17:09,648 Yeah, let's see... Let's see how it goes. Except I can promise you 364 00:17:09,649 --> 00:17:13,096 that you're gonna see YouWork start to trend hard... 365 00:17:13,097 --> 00:17:15,303 but bad. 366 00:17:15,304 --> 00:17:18,165 Because I hooked up with someone very high up 367 00:17:18,166 --> 00:17:20,821 in the human resources department of Twitter once. 368 00:17:20,822 --> 00:17:22,648 One second to side bar? 369 00:17:22,649 --> 00:17:24,959 Would you like a conference room? 370 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,441 I don't want 371 00:17:26,442 --> 00:17:27,683 to fuck with Twitter again. 372 00:17:27,684 --> 00:17:29,303 I don't like the sound of that. 373 00:17:29,304 --> 00:17:30,924 Plus we have to play them in soccer this weekend. 374 00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:32,338 Oh, my God. We'd never hear the end of it. 375 00:17:32,339 --> 00:17:33,441 Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. 376 00:17:33,442 --> 00:17:34,602 - Let's pay her off. - Cute. 377 00:17:34,613 --> 00:17:35,924 - Make her go away. - Hundred bucks. 378 00:17:35,925 --> 00:17:37,283 - Split it with you. - Yep, I did it. 379 00:17:37,294 --> 00:17:38,407 Hi. 380 00:17:38,408 --> 00:17:39,924 We'll give you 100 bucks to go away. 381 00:17:43,408 --> 00:17:45,717 You're hilarious. What's your real offer? 382 00:17:45,718 --> 00:17:47,579 - $100. - $900. 383 00:17:47,580 --> 00:17:49,131 - $100. - $800. 384 00:17:49,132 --> 00:17:50,786 - $100. - $700. 385 00:17:50,787 --> 00:17:52,131 - $100. - $600. 386 00:17:52,132 --> 00:17:53,407 - $100. - $100. 387 00:17:53,408 --> 00:17:54,579 Is this a... 388 00:17:54,580 --> 00:17:57,821 $500, and that's my final offer. 389 00:17:57,822 --> 00:17:59,753 Fine. 390 00:18:01,132 --> 00:18:03,407 I guess we're not getting a mani-mani-pedi. 391 00:18:03,408 --> 00:18:04,959 Man. Yeah, yeah, mm, mm. 392 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,165 It's Friday. That's our thing. 393 00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:09,062 I know it is, but it's okay. We can skip it this one week. 394 00:18:09,063 --> 00:18:10,546 Okay. 395 00:18:12,201 --> 00:18:14,131 Wow, thank you. 396 00:18:14,132 --> 00:18:15,822 Only in New York. 397 00:18:17,201 --> 00:18:19,132 It is a genius idea, though. 398 00:18:20,339 --> 00:18:22,683 Okay, guys, it's over. 399 00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:26,476 Thank you for believing in me and SheWork. 400 00:18:26,477 --> 00:18:31,717 You made me realize how beautiful yellow teeth 401 00:18:31,718 --> 00:18:36,821 and brown finger nails and hair that smells like soot can be, 402 00:18:36,822 --> 00:18:38,510 so thank you for that. 403 00:18:38,511 --> 00:18:41,407 All right, pack up and go home. We had a good run. 404 00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:43,476 I paid a week in advance. 405 00:18:43,477 --> 00:18:45,855 You know, the market is just so up and down, brother. 406 00:18:45,856 --> 00:18:48,028 It's, you know, the market. 407 00:18:48,029 --> 00:18:50,234 Bye, Ken. 408 00:18:50,235 --> 00:18:51,407 Where's Ilana? 409 00:18:51,408 --> 00:18:53,683 She's gone. I-It's over. 410 00:18:53,684 --> 00:18:58,545 But I didn't even get to apply for office manager. 411 00:18:58,546 --> 00:19:00,372 Where's my computer? 412 00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,710 Who took my computer? 413 00:19:02,721 --> 00:19:05,134 My screenplay! 414 00:19:07,684 --> 00:19:09,407 Christian? 415 00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:12,477 Where's my kid? 416 00:19:16,166 --> 00:19:19,165 Man, the beauty of that bucket is that I'm squatting 417 00:19:19,166 --> 00:19:21,821 so low to reach it, so I'm, like, in Squatty Potty position. 418 00:19:21,822 --> 00:19:23,683 It's almost like a two-for-one. 419 00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:25,372 Hold on. 420 00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,235 You shit inthe bucket? 421 00:19:28,546 --> 00:19:31,165 You're only supposed to put toilet paper in the bucket. 422 00:19:31,166 --> 00:19:32,822 No, I know. 423 00:19:36,822 --> 00:19:38,338 See... 424 00:19:38,339 --> 00:19:39,959 Okay. Shit. 425 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,338 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 426 00:19:53,994 --> 00:19:55,441 Hey, what's up? 427 00:19:55,442 --> 00:19:58,200 Holy shit, Ilana, look at this. 428 00:19:58,201 --> 00:20:00,855 "YouWork's innovative smoker's rooftop 429 00:20:00,856 --> 00:20:02,924 results in a massive stock hike"? 430 00:20:02,925 --> 00:20:04,441 Those assholes! 431 00:20:04,442 --> 00:20:05,959 They stole my idea. 432 00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,303 I knew I should've done an equity split. 433 00:20:08,304 --> 00:20:10,510 You know what, dude? It's okay. 434 00:20:10,511 --> 00:20:13,786 We are still two badass activated women. 435 00:20:13,787 --> 00:20:19,821 I mean, Ilana, you founded and sold a company in one day. 436 00:20:19,822 --> 00:20:23,614 And I, like, mobilized my people to form a mini, 437 00:20:23,615 --> 00:20:27,200 like... s-small revolution in my building! 438 00:20:27,201 --> 00:20:28,648 That's right. 439 00:20:28,649 --> 00:20:31,096 I mean, we can be the change we wish to see 440 00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,786 in the world if we... if we have a dream 441 00:20:32,787 --> 00:20:34,200 and we rise to meet that dream 442 00:20:34,201 --> 00:20:36,855 and we go high when they go low. 443 00:20:44,822 --> 00:20:46,821 Oh, my God. 444 00:20:46,822 --> 00:20:48,269 Dude, Fernando got fired? 445 00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:50,096 Oh, no! 446 00:20:50,097 --> 00:20:51,683 There's a new building manager? 447 00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:54,477 Raising the rent in three months?! 448 00:20:55,718 --> 00:20:59,304 Oh, what the fuck is this? 449 00:21:08,668 --> 00:21:10,350 You like our sharp cheddar? 450 00:21:10,361 --> 00:21:12,563 - I-I do. - Yeah, who doesn't? It's the best cheese. 451 00:21:12,574 --> 00:21:14,786 I'm... I'm obsessed with sharp cheddar. 452 00:21:14,787 --> 00:21:16,379 So am I... me too. I... 453 00:21:16,390 --> 00:21:18,959 He's taking it out of my... out of my fridge, 454 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:21,683 - and he must be giving it to you. - Well, they're very good. 455 00:21:21,684 --> 00:21:23,597 Great. That's... I'm happy someone's enjoying them. 456 00:21:23,608 --> 00:21:25,679 - Synced and corrected by Shazi89 - - www.addic7ed.com - 32517

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