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1
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♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪
2
00:00:04,842 --> 00:00:09,380
♪ How I wonder what you are ♪
3
00:00:09,413 --> 00:00:13,351
♪ Something, something, up so high ♪
4
00:00:13,384 --> 00:00:18,422
- # Kicking, screaming, burned alive... #
- Goddamn it, Cheryl,
5
00:00:18,522 --> 00:00:20,324
are you gonna shoot
this goddamn thing or what?
6
00:00:20,358 --> 00:00:24,062
Well, it's hard for me
to make a decision
7
00:00:24,095 --> 00:00:27,764
without knowing what this
"or what" option is. Duh.
8
00:00:27,885 --> 00:00:33,324
For God's sakes, Lana,
do you literally want to become lunch?
9
00:00:33,357 --> 00:00:34,824
The gas pedal
is the one on the right.
10
00:00:34,825 --> 00:00:38,028
I'm trying.
I can't get any power.
11
00:00:38,061 --> 00:00:40,698
Why are these
guns so freaking loud?
12
00:00:40,731 --> 00:00:43,133
My earballs are on fire!
13
00:00:44,748 --> 00:00:49,386
- Shoot him in the dick!
- Space snails don't have dicks.
14
00:00:49,387 --> 00:00:52,190
Technically, they have both male
and female reproductive organs,
15
00:00:52,223 --> 00:00:54,392
so they can inseminate
and be inseminated.
16
00:00:54,425 --> 00:00:56,527
Cyril's definitely been
to those kind of parties.
17
00:00:56,560 --> 00:00:58,228
- Space burn.
- Would you idiots
18
00:00:58,229 --> 00:01:00,698
mind focusing on the
problem at hand, please?
19
00:01:00,731 --> 00:01:04,034
Krieger, why can't I get
any power from the boosters?
20
00:01:04,068 --> 00:01:06,804
What the hell is going on
with the power supply?
21
00:01:06,904 --> 00:01:09,906
Goddamn it! Something must be
depleting power from the ship.
22
00:01:09,907 --> 00:01:11,909
Did someone leave the fan on
in the bathroom again?
23
00:01:11,942 --> 00:01:13,977
- Not me.
- And why not?
24
00:01:14,078 --> 00:01:16,747
What is with all the banging
and the shouting?
25
00:01:16,780 --> 00:01:19,363
Are we hosting a quinceañera?
26
00:01:22,986 --> 00:01:26,224
Oh, shiiit!
27
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Nooo!
28
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I left my purse in there!
29
00:02:06,616 --> 00:02:09,655
sync & correction by f1nc0
~ Addic7ed.com ~
30
00:02:20,721 --> 00:02:23,858
- That was awesome.
- Awesome?
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00:02:23,891 --> 00:02:25,424
We're stuck inside a space nautilus
32
00:02:25,425 --> 00:02:27,394
somewhere between his colon
and his cloaca.
33
00:02:27,427 --> 00:02:30,104
- What's a cloaca?
- It's an organ that's used
34
00:02:30,105 --> 00:02:32,065
for excretion and also intercourse.
35
00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:34,901
- Smart.
- Pam, shut up.
36
00:02:34,902 --> 00:02:36,602
You know, for the person
who got us into this mess,
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00:02:36,603 --> 00:02:39,239
you certainly are yelling
at people a lot.
38
00:02:39,273 --> 00:02:41,541
- You got us into this mess.
- Hey, let's not point fingers.
39
00:02:41,575 --> 00:02:44,811
Especially yours, Lana.
Those things are like cricket bats.
40
00:02:44,912 --> 00:02:46,646
You're the one
who wouldn't listen to me
41
00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:48,181
and set our course for a galaxy
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00:02:48,182 --> 00:02:50,250
to which we've never been
before, and, as we can now see,
43
00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:53,387
is a ship-eating cosmo crustacean.
44
00:02:53,420 --> 00:02:55,555
Well, you were the one
making the flight super boring,
45
00:02:55,589 --> 00:02:58,724
so I started punching colored
buttons on the navigation panel,
46
00:02:58,725 --> 00:03:02,362
building to a loud,
yelly, final last point!
47
00:03:02,396 --> 00:03:04,364
Can we please figure out
how the hell
48
00:03:04,398 --> 00:03:05,698
we're getting out of here?
49
00:03:05,699 --> 00:03:06,900
- Yeah!
- We are totally boned.
50
00:03:06,901 --> 00:03:10,270
Would everyone relax.
We'll just fire up the old plasma torch,
51
00:03:10,370 --> 00:03:13,607
cut an ulcer in this thing,
and zorp our way out of here.
52
00:03:17,377 --> 00:03:19,446
Okay.
Don't waste any more power.
53
00:03:19,546 --> 00:03:22,749
- It'll work.
- No, it will not.
54
00:03:22,782 --> 00:03:25,718
- Well, not with that attitude.
- That wasn't me, idiot.
55
00:03:25,719 --> 00:03:27,922
- I tried that, too, when I got here.
- Wha...
56
00:03:27,955 --> 00:03:29,924
Can't you go anywhere these days
57
00:03:29,957 --> 00:03:32,459
without being accosted by the homeless?
58
00:03:32,559 --> 00:03:35,229
Um, so I guess I'll
just wait out here, then,
59
00:03:35,262 --> 00:03:38,234
like some space-flunky.
60
00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:44,904
This is so stupid.
"Lead us into battle, Cheryl."
61
00:03:44,905 --> 00:03:47,074
"Rescue the ship from
certain doom, Carol."
62
00:03:47,107 --> 00:03:50,644
Who am I, Artemisia I of Caria?
63
00:03:53,413 --> 00:03:56,083
You know what I mean.
64
00:03:58,255 --> 00:04:00,090
Oh, God!
65
00:04:00,124 --> 00:04:03,127
- Is it... a human?
- Of sorts.
66
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,962
Smells like a diaper's coffin in here.
67
00:04:04,995 --> 00:04:07,597
This is why you don't invite them in.
68
00:04:07,631 --> 00:04:09,599
- She's a vampire?
- Everyone shut up.
69
00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:11,969
Who are you
and what are you doing here?
70
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:16,173
My name is Glenda Price, captain
of the starship Tristan of Coralia.
71
00:04:18,542 --> 00:04:20,978
I also commanded
the CoreStart mission.
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00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:24,381
Wrote a book about it.
"Space Me, Space You."
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00:04:26,450 --> 00:04:27,716
About all the good we did
74
00:04:27,717 --> 00:04:30,054
and the lives we saved
throughout the universe?
75
00:04:30,154 --> 00:04:32,990
The cover art is my
Intergalactic Peace Prize medal?
76
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:34,157
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember that.
- I love Space Me, Space You.
77
00:04:34,158 --> 00:04:35,191
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, space.
78
00:04:35,192 --> 00:04:38,011
Anyway, the Tristan was on
an intergalactic
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00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:40,729
humanitarian mission
when we ran into the Zarglorp.
80
00:04:40,730 --> 00:04:43,016
- What's the Zarglorp?
- Seriously?
81
00:04:43,017 --> 00:04:45,569
- Come on!
- Even I know that was stupid.
82
00:04:45,669 --> 00:04:47,371
The creature that ate us, dummy.
83
00:04:47,404 --> 00:04:50,040
- Jesus, all right, sorry.
- We were delivering
84
00:04:50,074 --> 00:04:53,477
medical supplies to poor
children and burn victims
85
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:56,413
when an asteroid storm
forced us off course
86
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,248
into the Targluk Galaxy.
87
00:04:58,348 --> 00:05:02,018
- Is that how you all ended up there?
- Uh... uh, y-yup.
88
00:05:02,019 --> 00:05:05,053
Asteroid storm.
Size of eggs.
89
00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:08,225
Ah, yes. We got dragged in
and swallowed whole.
90
00:05:08,258 --> 00:05:11,528
The Tristan is still wedged
nearby in the digestive canal.
91
00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:14,498
- And your crew?
- Oh, we made do at first.
92
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:17,367
We played softball,
taught ourselves piano.
93
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,937
But then the rations ran out
and, one by one,
94
00:05:20,037 --> 00:05:21,604
they killed themselves.
95
00:05:21,605 --> 00:05:23,039
- Wow.
- Cheesy Petes.
96
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:24,707
Captain, I am so sorry to hear that.
97
00:05:24,708 --> 00:05:27,945
Me too. We lived in
our own little utopia.
98
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:32,182
They were my best friends.
99
00:05:32,216 --> 00:05:34,684
Best friends?
But they work for you.
100
00:05:34,718 --> 00:05:37,521
Anyhow, then, as they died,
we'd eat them.
101
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,055
Smart.
102
00:05:39,056 --> 00:05:40,958
Unfortunately,
there's no way out of here.
103
00:05:41,058 --> 00:05:43,961
We'll slowly be digested over
the next hundred years or so.
104
00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:46,294
A hundred years?
That's, like, forever!
105
00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:48,632
- Nobody lives that long, idiot.
- You definitely won't
106
00:05:48,732 --> 00:05:50,432
if you don't keep your mouth shut.
107
00:05:52,302 --> 00:05:54,704
All right, calm down. We aren't
spending the rest of our lives
108
00:05:54,738 --> 00:05:58,042
in some space prawn's shit
factory. Krieger, figure out
109
00:05:58,075 --> 00:06:00,144
why there's no power
to the boosters and fix it.
110
00:06:00,244 --> 00:06:03,313
- Yep, yep, yep.
- Ray, fix anything damaged in the crash.
111
00:06:03,413 --> 00:06:05,715
Pam, Lana, and I will go back
to the Tristan
112
00:06:05,749 --> 00:06:08,085
and collect anything that might
help us get out of here.
113
00:06:08,118 --> 00:06:10,620
Cyril, I guess
just keep being useless.
114
00:06:10,654 --> 00:06:12,255
- Captain?
- What do you need?
115
00:06:12,256 --> 00:06:13,991
I want to help you all get to safety,
116
00:06:14,091 --> 00:06:16,060
like when I rescued
the Vantaurians
117
00:06:16,093 --> 00:06:18,295
from that ELE on Vantaur Five,
118
00:06:18,328 --> 00:06:23,333
then used all my money to get
them all universal health care.
119
00:06:23,433 --> 00:06:26,002
That's insurance that is accepted
throughout the universe.
120
00:06:26,003 --> 00:06:28,338
Wow, what a goddamn saint you are.
121
00:06:28,438 --> 00:06:30,140
Do you have any blast charges
on your ship?
122
00:06:30,174 --> 00:06:34,344
- Yes, but do not use them, because...
- Great. Okay, Pam, this is crucial.
123
00:06:34,444 --> 00:06:36,246
Once we're out there,
look for anything we can use
124
00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,015
to make me a drink.
125
00:06:38,115 --> 00:06:41,085
We're in the middle
of a space creature's stomach.
126
00:06:41,118 --> 00:06:43,787
There's always something
that can be a mixer, Lana.
127
00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:46,090
I made a drink once
out of Barbicide and hair gel.
128
00:06:46,123 --> 00:06:48,158
It's called a Moscow Mousse.
129
00:06:48,192 --> 00:06:51,294
Well, it seems like you all have
this situation under control.
130
00:06:51,295 --> 00:06:54,031
Under control?
We're currently food.
131
00:06:54,131 --> 00:06:57,601
Well, you know me.
Always "glass half full."
132
00:06:57,634 --> 00:07:00,437
♪ Ta-ta. ♪
133
00:07:03,974 --> 00:07:06,276
Okay, pro:
all my stuff is on board,
134
00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:07,810
including that kick-ass purse
135
00:07:07,811 --> 00:07:09,312
that has metal studs on the bottom
136
00:07:09,313 --> 00:07:11,448
so it doesn't touch
gross restaurant floors.
137
00:07:11,481 --> 00:07:14,151
Con.
I'm gonna have to keep doing
138
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:18,222
stupid fighter pilot missions, and
they're so boring 'cause I'm so good.
139
00:07:18,322 --> 00:07:19,655
Pro: I'm here.
140
00:07:19,656 --> 00:07:22,126
Is that you, voice in my head?
141
00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:24,894
You sound so much older.
And drunker.
142
00:07:24,995 --> 00:07:26,997
Look at the screen,
you glue-eating pinhead.
143
00:07:27,031 --> 00:07:29,833
Oh! I've seen this show!
With the mean lady!
144
00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:32,402
- Um... Matlock!
- Listen to me.
145
00:07:32,502 --> 00:07:35,972
We have to fly down
into that monster this instant.
146
00:07:36,006 --> 00:07:37,741
For my purse?
I know, right?
147
00:07:37,841 --> 00:07:39,843
It matches literally everything.
148
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:42,012
No, you clod.
To pick up Sterling,
149
00:07:42,046 --> 00:07:43,747
then get the hell out of here.
150
00:07:43,847 --> 00:07:45,514
Mm, no, thanks.
151
00:07:45,515 --> 00:07:47,651
What do you mean,
"No, thanks"?
152
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:50,853
I'm probably just better off
leaving and starting a new life.
153
00:07:50,854 --> 00:07:52,188
Hey, you want to come?
154
00:07:52,189 --> 00:07:54,224
- Gals' trip!
- Absolutely not!
155
00:07:54,258 --> 00:07:56,893
Now listen to me. We are
flying back down there and...
156
00:07:56,926 --> 00:07:59,663
You're not my space supervisor!
157
00:08:07,798 --> 00:08:09,966
All right,
Cyril, while we're gone,
158
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,700
keep Captain Price company.
159
00:08:11,702 --> 00:08:13,035
She's been through a lot.
160
00:08:13,036 --> 00:08:14,905
Maybe you'll learn
a thing or two from her.
161
00:08:15,005 --> 00:08:16,538
Oh, from the woman
who got her ship eaten
162
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:18,040
and her whole crew killed?
163
00:08:18,041 --> 00:08:20,210
That's still more than you've
ever accomplished, Cyril.
164
00:08:20,243 --> 00:08:23,046
Keep her company.
165
00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:25,515
Cyril, right?
Come over here.
166
00:08:25,548 --> 00:08:28,418
Sit down.
Let's have a chat, just you and I.
167
00:08:28,518 --> 00:08:31,570
Would you like to hear the story
of how I saved
168
00:08:31,571 --> 00:08:34,288
the Drang population after the
Great Flood of the Mupak Valley?
169
00:08:34,357 --> 00:08:37,360
You know what?
Yes, I would.
170
00:08:37,393 --> 00:08:38,861
Screw it, if we're dying in here,
171
00:08:38,862 --> 00:08:40,697
I'm gonna go ahead
and finish that cake.
172
00:08:40,731 --> 00:08:43,476
I mean, I don't even care.
173
00:08:45,601 --> 00:08:47,035
- Krieger?
- Still looking
174
00:08:47,036 --> 00:08:48,470
for the source of the power loss.
175
00:08:48,505 --> 00:08:50,340
Seems like it's been
getting sucked all night.
176
00:08:50,373 --> 00:08:52,575
Space phrasing.
All right, find it and fix it.
177
00:08:52,608 --> 00:08:54,209
Once this thing pukes us out,
178
00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:57,180
we're gonna need those boosters
to get out of this galaxy.
179
00:09:00,717 --> 00:09:05,606
Don't worry, my child.
Daddy's here.
180
00:09:05,641 --> 00:09:10,293
More... power.
181
00:09:19,402 --> 00:09:22,072
What was that bullshit
back there with Cyril?
182
00:09:22,105 --> 00:09:23,739
"Keep Captain Price company"?
183
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:25,976
Since when do you care
about other people's feelings?
184
00:09:26,076 --> 00:09:28,278
Well, unlike you, Lana,
I have empathy.
185
00:09:28,311 --> 00:09:31,914
- Oh, wait. Uh, sympathy?
- I think it's "symphony."
186
00:09:31,915 --> 00:09:33,984
I can put myself
in Price's shoes, okay?
187
00:09:34,084 --> 00:09:37,788
I know I'm gonna be the last
survivor, resorting to cannibalism.
188
00:09:37,821 --> 00:09:40,991
Stuck here to die alone,
literally eating dicks.
189
00:09:41,091 --> 00:09:44,093
- Oh, come on.
- Or, you know, whatever Pam has.
190
00:09:44,094 --> 00:09:45,627
I hesitate
to call that thing a dick.
191
00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:47,497
It's more like a garbage claw.
192
00:09:47,597 --> 00:09:50,332
Oh, pfft. Give me a break.
You don't want to die alone?
193
00:09:50,333 --> 00:09:52,335
You were always gonna die alone.
194
00:09:52,435 --> 00:09:55,838
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Archer, be honest.
195
00:09:55,839 --> 00:09:57,774
You're not close to anyone
because you don't care.
196
00:09:57,808 --> 00:09:59,810
You don't even bother
to listen to people,
197
00:09:59,843 --> 00:10:02,344
- especially me.
- That's not true, Lana.
198
00:10:02,345 --> 00:10:04,045
I just listened
to that entire sentence,
199
00:10:04,114 --> 00:10:07,482
- and it was excruciating.
- Up top.
200
00:10:09,119 --> 00:10:11,654
Holy shitsnacks.
201
00:10:11,687 --> 00:10:13,523
These must be
the suicidal crew members
202
00:10:13,623 --> 00:10:15,124
Price was talking about.
203
00:10:15,125 --> 00:10:17,660
Uh, you ever hear about
someone committing suicide
204
00:10:17,693 --> 00:10:20,301
by bludgeoning themselves
in the back of the head?
205
00:10:20,336 --> 00:10:22,132
Hey, the blast charges!
206
00:10:22,165 --> 00:10:25,969
Weren't you listening when Price
said not to set those charges off?
207
00:10:26,002 --> 00:10:29,138
- I actually wasn't. What did she say?
- Not to.
208
00:10:29,139 --> 00:10:30,974
Don't make things worse
than they already are.
209
00:10:31,007 --> 00:10:33,476
Worse?
We're in a monster's colon.
210
00:10:33,509 --> 00:10:35,778
We'll be safe here
behind this big fleshy...
211
00:10:35,812 --> 00:10:39,515
- What is this, a tumor?
- Aw, poor guy.
212
00:10:47,123 --> 00:10:48,859
Okay, now get back to the ship.
213
00:10:48,892 --> 00:10:50,626
Hey, what's that?
214
00:10:50,660 --> 00:10:56,199
Ugh. Some sort of parasites that
live in this thing's digestive system.
215
00:10:56,232 --> 00:10:57,968
Yeah, I get those sometimes
216
00:10:58,001 --> 00:10:59,668
if I've been
nosing through the trash.
217
00:10:59,669 --> 00:11:02,288
Ugh. Remember me saying
218
00:11:02,289 --> 00:11:04,506
something about
not wanting things to get worse?
219
00:11:04,507 --> 00:11:07,243
I actually was listening then.
220
00:11:07,343 --> 00:11:09,812
Will you shut up
and help me think of a plan?
221
00:11:09,846 --> 00:11:11,546
She said, while both talking
222
00:11:11,547 --> 00:11:14,112
- and not coming up with a plan.
- Archer...
223
00:11:14,147 --> 00:11:15,718
Wait.
I just came up with a plan.
224
00:11:15,751 --> 00:11:17,252
It's kind of complex.
225
00:11:17,253 --> 00:11:18,520
Run!
226
00:11:23,193 --> 00:11:25,896
I sliced the Florglap
right in his face
227
00:11:25,929 --> 00:11:27,629
and I never looked back.
228
00:11:27,697 --> 00:11:31,734
And because of my heroism,
they made a holiday in my honor.
229
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:34,270
I mean, not a bank holiday,
but still.
230
00:11:34,370 --> 00:11:36,706
Wow, what a rewarding life.
231
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:40,109
- So, tell me about your life, Cyril.
- Oh, me?
232
00:11:40,110 --> 00:11:41,776
I've had a rough go of it.
You don't want to hear it.
233
00:11:41,777 --> 00:11:44,347
Son, nothing matters to me more.
234
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:46,716
A captain cares about her crew
more than herself.
235
00:11:46,749 --> 00:11:48,417
That's the captain's code.
236
00:11:48,418 --> 00:11:51,955
Well, okay,
if it's the captain's code.
237
00:11:52,055 --> 00:11:55,025
Uh, I guess it all started
when I was about five...
238
00:11:55,058 --> 00:11:59,729
I never wanted to be a fighter pilot.
I wanted to work in fashion.
239
00:11:59,762 --> 00:12:01,396
Wouldn't that be a sight to see?
240
00:12:01,397 --> 00:12:03,566
Totally. You see these outfits
we're wearing, right?
241
00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:05,100
Who came up with this?
242
00:12:05,101 --> 00:12:07,303
Does anybody's ass look good
in a flight suit?
243
00:12:07,403 --> 00:12:08,938
- No!
- Well, you know,
244
00:12:08,939 --> 00:12:11,774
I have some friends
in the design world.
245
00:12:11,807 --> 00:12:15,578
Hey!
I just had a great idea.
246
00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:19,215
- You know what we should do?
- Yes! We should rob them!
247
00:12:19,249 --> 00:12:21,084
No! We should fly down
248
00:12:21,117 --> 00:12:23,386
into that monster
to get Sterling, then...
249
00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:26,156
I love it! You and me
can be space pirates!
250
00:12:26,256 --> 00:12:28,992
With my fighter pilot skills
and your "zerp-zerp" thing,
251
00:12:29,092 --> 00:12:31,394
we could run this galaxy!
252
00:12:31,427 --> 00:12:34,430
Ooh, let's plan
our pirate outfits!
253
00:12:34,464 --> 00:12:36,232
And it turns out
254
00:12:36,266 --> 00:12:38,334
everyone did know
it was my birthday
255
00:12:38,434 --> 00:12:41,171
and they skipped it
just to hurt my feelings.
256
00:12:41,271 --> 00:12:44,640
To this day, I've never got
to play spin the bottle!
257
00:12:44,674 --> 00:12:48,611
Wow.
Life, she is a bitch.
258
00:12:48,644 --> 00:12:50,145
But you know what people say?
259
00:12:50,146 --> 00:12:53,816
- When things seem darkest...
- What, Captain?
260
00:12:53,849 --> 00:12:56,276
Kill yourself.
261
00:12:58,654 --> 00:13:01,991
Oh, my dear boy,
look at you.
262
00:13:01,992 --> 00:13:04,694
You're an exact replica of me.
263
00:13:04,794 --> 00:13:07,163
Though that hairline
could use a little work.
264
00:13:07,197 --> 00:13:10,300
M-more power!
265
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:14,037
- Shh, okay, okay.
- More, more, more...
266
00:13:23,813 --> 00:13:25,347
Oh, no, I've killed him!
267
00:13:25,348 --> 00:13:29,852
Oh, God, no!
Son, I didn't mean to kill you.
268
00:13:29,885 --> 00:13:32,622
M-Murder!
269
00:13:32,655 --> 00:13:34,991
- Murderer!
- No, no, shh!
270
00:13:35,025 --> 00:13:36,559
- Murderer! Murderer!
- No, no, shut up, shut up.
271
00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:37,327
No, no, no, you're fine.
272
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,962
- Murderer!
- You're fine. You're alive! Shh, shh, shh!
273
00:13:39,996 --> 00:13:44,867
- You are mur...
- No, no! I am not a murderer,
274
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:47,237
you stupid head!
275
00:13:49,872 --> 00:13:53,008
- Figured out the power problem!
- Okay, now,
276
00:13:53,009 --> 00:13:57,547
the rabbit goes around the tree
and back into the hole.
277
00:13:57,580 --> 00:14:00,550
Is the dehydrated milk
up here somew...
278
00:14:00,583 --> 00:14:02,251
The hell are you doing?
279
00:14:02,252 --> 00:14:05,055
- Killing myself.
- Why, other than the obvious?
280
00:14:05,088 --> 00:14:07,890
Well, sometimes killing
ourselves is the most
281
00:14:07,891 --> 00:14:10,693
noble thing we can do
for our fellow survivors.
282
00:14:10,726 --> 00:14:12,695
Have you ever thought about it?
283
00:14:12,728 --> 00:14:14,564
Okay, nope,
get that thing off your neck.
284
00:14:14,597 --> 00:14:18,701
Uh-oh. You know what we have
on our hands here, Cyril?
285
00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:21,749
A dirty mutineer.
286
00:14:34,714 --> 00:14:37,249
"And finally, to my crewmates:
287
00:14:37,283 --> 00:14:39,085
I regret leaving this world
so early,
288
00:14:39,118 --> 00:14:42,589
but I shall see you
in the next." Good?
289
00:14:42,622 --> 00:14:46,125
Then maybe something like, um,
"All my love, Cyril.
290
00:14:46,225 --> 00:14:48,227
P.S.: Please eat me."
291
00:14:48,260 --> 00:14:51,130
Hmm. Yeah.
292
00:14:51,230 --> 00:14:53,600
See?
He thinks it's good too.
293
00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:55,902
Now let's find you
a load-bearing pipe.
294
00:15:03,475 --> 00:15:07,246
Hello?
Can anyone hear me?
295
00:15:07,279 --> 00:15:08,647
Over.
296
00:15:08,648 --> 00:15:10,281
Ooh!
What about eye patches?
297
00:15:10,282 --> 00:15:12,952
I mean, we don't actually have
to have our eyes cut out
298
00:15:12,985 --> 00:15:14,954
to wear them...
unless you want to.
299
00:15:14,987 --> 00:15:16,454
Can anyone hear me?
300
00:15:16,455 --> 00:15:19,091
Arr, this is Space
Pirate Cheryl. Go ahead.
301
00:15:19,125 --> 00:15:20,960
There's a psycho loose
on the ship!
302
00:15:20,993 --> 00:15:23,395
She's brainwashing the crew
to kill themselves
303
00:15:23,429 --> 00:15:26,632
- so she can eat us!
- Sterling!
304
00:15:26,633 --> 00:15:29,068
Cheryl, listen to me.
We have to go in there!
305
00:15:29,101 --> 00:15:30,903
Duh, of course
we have to go in there.
306
00:15:30,937 --> 00:15:34,272
There's someone brainwashing
people into killing themselves!
307
00:15:34,273 --> 00:15:35,941
- Hurry up!
- Let's go!
308
00:15:35,942 --> 00:15:37,508
All right, me hearties, open up!
309
00:15:37,509 --> 00:15:39,311
Here be breakfast!
310
00:15:39,345 --> 00:15:43,650
Well, well, well.
Looks like we have
311
00:15:43,683 --> 00:15:46,485
a dirty traitor in our midst.
312
00:15:46,518 --> 00:15:49,138
I think you know
what to do, Cyril.
313
00:15:54,160 --> 00:15:56,495
What the hell is this?
314
00:15:56,528 --> 00:15:59,531
- Cyril's trying to kill me!
- Then I'm gonna kill myself.
315
00:15:59,632 --> 00:16:01,166
Then they want us to eat them.
316
00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:04,704
- Smart.
- Cyril, you idiot, Price is space-mad.
317
00:16:04,804 --> 00:16:06,873
She convinced her crew
to kill themselves
318
00:16:06,973 --> 00:16:09,976
- so she could eat them.
- Wh... Wow.
319
00:16:10,009 --> 00:16:12,278
I... never.
320
00:16:12,311 --> 00:16:15,715
I am Glenda Macmillan Price,
321
00:16:15,815 --> 00:16:17,950
intergalactic hero,
322
00:16:17,984 --> 00:16:21,226
and I'll be damned if
you'll accuse me...
323
00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:26,859
Hey, guys?
We're down to auxiliary power.
324
00:16:26,893 --> 00:16:28,861
No way to know
how that happened.
325
00:16:28,895 --> 00:16:31,530
But I do have an idea.
Captain Price, you said
326
00:16:31,563 --> 00:16:33,966
your ship was lodged
in the digestive tract,
327
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,669
- but it's not out of power, correct?
- That's right.
328
00:16:36,703 --> 00:16:39,487
Well, if the fuel rods are
undamaged, conceivably, we could
329
00:16:39,488 --> 00:16:42,272
hook up our generator to the
Tristan, throw the switch,
330
00:16:42,341 --> 00:16:44,376
and it could
generate enough heat
331
00:16:44,410 --> 00:16:46,813
possibly to induce vomiting.
332
00:16:46,846 --> 00:16:48,715
- What the hell is that sound?
- Those are the giant
333
00:16:48,748 --> 00:16:50,582
man-eating parasites
that have been chasing us
334
00:16:50,683 --> 00:16:54,155
since Archer set off the blast charges
Price told us not to!
335
00:16:54,190 --> 00:16:56,756
I think we all learned
a valuable lesson from that
336
00:16:56,856 --> 00:16:59,225
that we wouldn't
have known otherwise, and...
337
00:16:59,258 --> 00:17:00,692
...now we know.
338
00:17:02,361 --> 00:17:05,030
You idiot!
I've been successfully hiding
339
00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:07,382
- from those things for years!
- Hey, how about this?
340
00:17:07,383 --> 00:17:10,101
I say we try Krieger's idea.
Lana, get behind the wheel
341
00:17:10,102 --> 00:17:11,737
and get this sucker ready
to blow out of here.
342
00:17:11,738 --> 00:17:15,540
- Cyril, stop trying to kill yourself.
- Aw, Archer.
343
00:17:15,541 --> 00:17:18,544
Help Krieger ready the boosters,
then kill yourself if you want.
344
00:17:18,577 --> 00:17:20,412
Captain, you're coming with me
and Pam back to your ship
345
00:17:20,446 --> 00:17:22,181
to show us
where the fuel rods are.
346
00:17:22,214 --> 00:17:25,117
Then we hook them up
and get the hell out.
347
00:17:25,217 --> 00:17:29,756
Whoohoo!
Suicide cult, here I come!
348
00:17:32,424 --> 00:17:34,593
Damn it!
How does this beast stay alive
349
00:17:34,626 --> 00:17:37,763
- with all these parasites?
- Yeah. Plus I think we saw a tumor.
350
00:17:37,764 --> 00:17:39,531
He seems so young, too.
351
00:17:44,070 --> 00:17:47,602
Come on! I was about
to do my finishing move.
352
00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:54,947
Hey, wait a minute,
353
00:17:54,981 --> 00:17:57,449
I thought you said the crew
ran out of rations, Price.
354
00:17:57,483 --> 00:18:00,887
Fine! Yes!
I went space-crazy, okay?
355
00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,223
I killed some of the crew,
some killed each other at my order,
356
00:18:04,256 --> 00:18:07,459
and others killed themselves
to escape my bloodthirsty wrath.
357
00:18:07,493 --> 00:18:09,495
You're like a dog
with a bone about this.
358
00:18:09,595 --> 00:18:12,998
- God!
- All right, here, hook them up.
359
00:18:12,999 --> 00:18:15,434
There's just one problem.
360
00:18:15,467 --> 00:18:17,102
Archer, what the
hell is taking so long?
361
00:18:17,103 --> 00:18:18,636
We have to get moving.
362
00:18:18,637 --> 00:18:20,105
Uh, we've got a little problem.
363
00:18:20,106 --> 00:18:22,973
- What is it?
- When we transfer power between the ships,
364
00:18:22,975 --> 00:18:25,444
the Seamus will immediately
shoot out of this thing...
365
00:18:25,477 --> 00:18:28,029
Hopefully through its mouth
and not its duke chute.
366
00:18:28,064 --> 00:18:30,950
Shut up, Pam.
But in doing so,
367
00:18:30,983 --> 00:18:33,953
whoever powers up the Tristan
will be left behind.
368
00:18:33,986 --> 00:18:36,455
Over?
369
00:18:36,488 --> 00:18:38,757
- Well...
- Wait, what's that?
370
00:18:38,791 --> 00:18:42,128
I-I can barely hear you.
371
00:18:44,363 --> 00:18:47,499
- Price should stay back?
- I didn't hear anything.
372
00:18:48,801 --> 00:18:50,536
Unanimous vote, you say?
373
00:18:50,636 --> 00:18:52,704
Well, looks like
the people have spoken.
374
00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:55,174
So give us, like, to the count
of 60 to get back,
375
00:18:55,207 --> 00:18:58,277
- then juice this baby up.
- The hell I'm staying back!
376
00:18:58,310 --> 00:19:00,379
Glenda Price
didn't eat directly out
377
00:19:00,479 --> 00:19:03,349
of a bridge crewman's
eye socket to die here today.
378
00:19:03,382 --> 00:19:05,818
Price, listen, you're
a self-obsessed megalomaniac
379
00:19:05,852 --> 00:19:08,687
who sacrificed her crew
for her own survival.
380
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,420
You only ever thought of yourself.
381
00:19:10,489 --> 00:19:12,057
- You're a villain.
- Ugh.
382
00:19:12,058 --> 00:19:14,026
But in your final moments,
you can be remembered
383
00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:16,982
for all the good you did
instead of your,
384
00:19:16,983 --> 00:19:20,949
- you know, cannibalism.
- But how would people know
385
00:19:20,950 --> 00:19:22,701
what I did to save you all?
386
00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:26,472
Here, I'll record
your heroic farewell.
387
00:19:26,505 --> 00:19:30,342
And I promise,
the entire galaxy will hear it.
388
00:19:30,376 --> 00:19:34,914
Okay. This is Captain
Glenda Price of the Tristan.
389
00:19:35,014 --> 00:19:38,985
Of all the many humanitarian
missions I've been on,
390
00:19:39,018 --> 00:19:41,153
all the lives I've saved,
391
00:19:41,187 --> 00:19:45,324
this last act of bravery
shall be my greatest.
392
00:19:45,357 --> 00:19:48,827
Sure, there will be songs
of my courage
393
00:19:48,861 --> 00:19:52,531
and statues in my honor.
394
00:19:52,564 --> 00:19:56,235
But know that serving
my fellow man...
395
00:19:58,871 --> 00:20:02,574
...it was my privilege.
396
00:20:02,608 --> 00:20:05,011
Get out of here!
397
00:20:05,677 --> 00:20:09,854
- Captain's orders!
- Aye, aye, Captain.
398
00:20:11,083 --> 00:20:12,851
For what it's worth,
I would have liked being
399
00:20:12,885 --> 00:20:15,387
an outlaw space pirate with you!
400
00:20:15,421 --> 00:20:18,389
Even though you're kind of mean
and mostly electromagnets,
401
00:20:18,390 --> 00:20:20,126
you're still my favorite!
402
00:20:20,226 --> 00:20:24,596
I hope this thing chews you
like gum, you crazy bitch.
403
00:20:24,630 --> 00:20:27,233
- All right, Lana, light it up.
- Krieger, are we ready to go?
404
00:20:27,266 --> 00:20:30,769
- Yep, yep, yep.
- Okay. Captain Price, for the final time,
405
00:20:30,802 --> 00:20:34,440
please power up for liftoff,
you brave, brave soul.
406
00:20:34,473 --> 00:20:36,373
Aye, aye.
407
00:20:38,610 --> 00:20:41,380
Jesus Christ,
it's one goddamn button, Price.
408
00:20:41,413 --> 00:20:43,449
How hard is it not to screw up
the last moment of your life?
409
00:20:48,654 --> 00:20:50,789
It's working!
410
00:20:53,092 --> 00:20:55,494
It's working. Hold on.
Here we go.
411
00:21:00,899 --> 00:21:03,635
That's them!
They got out!
412
00:21:03,669 --> 00:21:09,441
- Fly away, you idiot! Fly away!
- Stop yelling at me!
413
00:21:12,178 --> 00:21:16,482
Is it just me, or
is this literally the best tea
414
00:21:16,515 --> 00:21:19,651
- in the entire galaxy?
- That's probably the opium talking.
415
00:21:19,685 --> 00:21:22,488
Chasing that space dragon.
Rawr!
416
00:21:22,651 --> 00:21:26,922
So now not only am I
not a part of a suicide cult.
417
00:21:26,955 --> 00:21:29,700
I'm never gonna get a chance
to be ever again.
418
00:21:29,735 --> 00:21:30,524
There, there, dear.
419
00:21:30,592 --> 00:21:33,495
You're dead to me.
That must count for something.
420
00:21:33,595 --> 00:21:36,047
Aw, thanks.
Hey, I forgot to ask...
421
00:21:36,048 --> 00:21:39,067
- how did you end up getting out of there?
- We were able to generate
422
00:21:39,101 --> 00:21:41,903
enough heat from the fuel rods
that the Zarglorp spit us out.
423
00:21:41,937 --> 00:21:43,939
Oh, of course...
the extra fuel rods
424
00:21:43,972 --> 00:21:45,741
in the downstairs storage room.
425
00:21:45,774 --> 00:21:48,744
I was hoping you'd find those.
Glad they worked out.
426
00:21:48,777 --> 00:21:51,621
Yeah, worked out for everybody.
427
00:21:52,414 --> 00:21:54,416
So you gonna
upload Price's farewell
428
00:21:54,450 --> 00:21:57,685
- so the entire galaxy can hear it?
- Are you kidding me?
429
00:21:57,686 --> 00:21:59,955
- I wasn't recording that.
- Wait, what?
430
00:21:59,988 --> 00:22:01,923
What about your promise?
431
00:22:01,957 --> 00:22:06,362
- Wow, you really are an asshole.
- Oh, I'm the asshole.
432
00:22:06,462 --> 00:22:09,323
Lana, that lady ate people.
433
00:22:10,098 --> 00:22:13,502
Hey, I could
really go for a Moscow Mousse.
434
00:22:13,535 --> 00:22:15,556
You want one?
435
00:22:16,232 --> 00:22:20,731
sync & correction by f1nc0
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