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1
00:00:01,072 --> 00:00:02,372
(tapping)
2
00:00:02,373 --> 00:00:05,035
WELL, TOP OF THE MORNIN'
TO YOU, SIR.
3
00:00:05,036 --> 00:00:07,737
WHAT THE HELL?
WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT?
4
00:00:07,738 --> 00:00:11,111
WHAT, CAN'T A MAN CLASS UP
HIS BREAKFAST A LITTLE BIT?
5
00:00:11,112 --> 00:00:14,044
A MAN CAN, BUT NOT YOU.
6
00:00:14,045 --> 00:00:16,046
THE TRUTH IS,
I'VE, UH... (sighs)
7
00:00:16,047 --> 00:00:19,049
GOTTEN A LITTLE BEHIND
ON THE LAUNDRY AND DRY CLEANING.
8
00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:21,391
THIS MONKEY SUIT'S
THE ONLY CLEAN CLOTHES
9
00:00:21,392 --> 00:00:24,124
I COULD FIND IN THE HOUSE.
(laughs)
10
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:28,027
DAD, I DON'T THINK THEY'RE GONNA
LET ME WEAR THIS TO SCHOOL.
11
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,800
WELL, TELL 'EM
IT'S A RELIGIOUS THING.
12
00:00:30,801 --> 00:00:33,233
I'LL WRITE YOU A NOTE.
13
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:35,536
UH, BETTER MAKE IT
TWO NOTES.
14
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:40,710
ALL I DID
WAS WALK DOWN THE STAIRS,
15
00:00:40,711 --> 00:00:42,212
AND I'M SWEATING.
16
00:00:42,213 --> 00:00:46,146
ALL RIGHT, HERE.
TRY THIS.
17
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,147
YEAH.
18
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:50,150
THERE YOU GO.
THAT'LL COOL YOU DOWN.
19
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:52,482
AHH. THANKS, DAD.
20
00:00:52,483 --> 00:00:54,684
YOU'RE WELCOME.
21
00:00:54,685 --> 00:00:56,356
YOU SEE THAT?
22
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:59,129
EVERYTHING IS FINE.
HMM.
23
00:00:59,130 --> 00:01:02,133
MORNING.
24
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:07,767
THE SAD THING IS,
I DID HIS LAUNDRY.
25
00:01:07,768 --> 00:01:11,071
FRANKLY, DAD,
I DON'T GIVE A DARN.
26
00:01:12,603 --> 00:01:15,606
♪♪♪
27
00:01:21,482 --> 00:01:24,384
ALL RIGHT,
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, SWEETIE.
28
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:27,717
SO? SO? SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF HER, HUH?
29
00:01:27,718 --> 00:01:29,519
SHE'S CUTE, RIGHT?
YEAH, SHE'S CUTE.
30
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,821
OH, DAMN IT,
SHE'S TOO GOOD FOR ME.
31
00:01:31,822 --> 00:01:34,524
OH, COME ON. ALL WOMEN
ARE TOO GOOD FOR YOU.
32
00:01:34,525 --> 00:01:37,127
ANDY, JUST RELAX, ALL RIGHT?
SHE'S A NICE GIRL.
33
00:01:37,128 --> 00:01:40,130
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A VERY
NICE COUPLE. OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
34
00:01:40,131 --> 00:01:43,133
ANOTHER HOUR OR SO,
AND I CAN GET HER OUT THE DOOR
35
00:01:43,134 --> 00:01:45,405
WITHOUT YOU DOING ANY DAMAGE.
WHAT? DAMAGE?
36
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:48,107
COME ON, MAN.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
37
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,480
I TUCKED IN MY SHIRT,
ZIPPED UP MY FLY.
38
00:01:50,481 --> 00:01:53,683
AND THIS IS THE FIRST BEER
I'VE HAD ALL DAY...
39
00:01:53,684 --> 00:01:55,346
SINCE LUNCH.
40
00:01:57,288 --> 00:01:58,818
DON'T JUDGE ME.
41
00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,350
OH, MAN.
42
00:02:00,351 --> 00:02:02,852
I JUST WISH CHERYL
WEREN'T UPSTAIRS ON BED REST
43
00:02:02,853 --> 00:02:05,855
SO SHE COULD BE DOWN HERE
TO KEEP AN EYE ON YOU.
44
00:02:05,856 --> 00:02:08,358
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
SHE TOOK CARE OF EVERYTHING.
45
00:02:08,359 --> 00:02:10,860
SHE KNOWS I'M NOT SO GOOD
WITH THE NICETIES,
46
00:02:10,861 --> 00:02:13,863
SO SHE MADE ME A
CONVERSATIONAL CHEAT SHEET. OH.
47
00:02:13,864 --> 00:02:15,865
CHECK IT OUT, HUH?
48
00:02:15,866 --> 00:02:18,369
"DON'T TELL THEM
YOU HAVE A CHEAT SHEET."
49
00:02:41,832 --> 00:02:44,864
SO, EMILY...
50
00:02:44,865 --> 00:02:47,367
I WOULD LIKE
TO TAKE THIS MOMENT
51
00:02:47,368 --> 00:02:50,201
TO COMPLIMENT
SOMETHING YOU'RE WEARING.
52
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,309
WHAT YOU GOT THERE, HOSE?
53
00:03:00,551 --> 00:03:01,851
THEY'RE TIGHTS. (laughs)
54
00:03:01,852 --> 00:03:05,415
AND THEY'RE FANTASTIC!
55
00:03:05,416 --> 00:03:07,917
HE'S NOT NORMALLY LIKE THIS.
(chuckles)
56
00:03:07,918 --> 00:03:11,661
WELL, HE IS, BUT IT'S EASIER WHEN
CHERYL'S AROUND. (mouths words)
57
00:03:11,662 --> 00:03:14,624
(mouths words)
58
00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:18,228
SO, EMILY, UM,
WHERE DO YOU STAND
59
00:03:18,229 --> 00:03:22,533
ON RELIGION AND POLITICS
ARE TOTALLY OFF-LIMITS?
60
00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:30,580
JIM, ARE YOU READING QUESTIONS
OFF OF A CHEAT SHEET?
61
00:03:30,581 --> 00:03:32,712
NO.
62
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:35,445
IT'S OKAY.
WE CAN JUST TALK.
63
00:03:35,446 --> 00:03:38,248
(yawns)
64
00:03:38,249 --> 00:03:40,750
(laughs nervously)
JIM, WOULD YOU...
65
00:03:40,751 --> 00:03:43,923
YOU'RE BEING RIDICULOUS.
(laughs)
66
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:46,396
SPIT... SPIT THAT OUT, HUH?
67
00:03:46,397 --> 00:03:49,860
(clenches teeth)
SPIT IT OUT!
68
00:03:57,268 --> 00:03:59,369
CHERYL THOUGHT THAT...
69
00:03:59,370 --> 00:04:02,672
HAVING THAT WOULD HELP
DURING AWKWARD MOMENTS.
70
00:04:02,673 --> 00:04:05,575
THAT'S IT. I'M GOING UPSTAIRS
AND I'M CARRYING HER BACK DOWN.
71
00:04:05,576 --> 00:04:07,577
NO, ANDY, NO.
IT'S... IT'S FINE.
72
00:04:07,578 --> 00:04:09,879
JIM, I REALLY APPRECIATE
THE EFFORT,
73
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,782
AND WHEN I MEET CHERYL,
I'LL TELL HER
74
00:04:12,783 --> 00:04:15,785
THAT THIS WENT MUCH BETTER
THAN IT ACTUALLY DID.
75
00:04:15,786 --> 00:04:18,257
OH, THAT IS GREAT.
THAT IS SO GREAT.
76
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:20,760
NOW I CAN JUST RELAX
AND BE MYSELF.
77
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,862
HERE,
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHIN'.
78
00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:25,365
NOW... NOW YOU'RE A... YOU'RE
A SINGLE MOTHER, RIGHT? YEAH.
79
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:28,267
IS IT AS AWFUL AS THEY SAY?
80
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:30,870
I THINK I CAN DRY THIS OFF
PRETTY EASY.
81
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:34,374
YEAH, GIVE IT TO ME. I WANT
THAT. I WANT IT. I'D BE HAPPY TO...
82
00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:37,647
HEY, MOM, MOM, GUESS WHAT? RUBY AND
GRACIE LISTEN TO THE GLITTER POPS, TOO.
83
00:04:37,648 --> 00:04:40,950
THEY WANT TO GO TO THE CONCERT
TOMORROW. THAT WOULD BE SO TIGHT.
84
00:04:40,951 --> 00:04:43,953
OH, I'M SO SORRY, GIRLS.
I CAN'T TAKE YOU TOMORROW.
85
00:04:43,954 --> 00:04:46,386
ANDY AND I ARE GOING
TO AN AWARDS BANQUET.
86
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,418
YEAH, EMILY'S BEING HONORED
87
00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:50,420
BY THE COUNTY ORTHODONTISTS
ASSOCIATION.
88
00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:52,662
IT'S THE OSCARS OF TEETH.
(chuckles)
89
00:04:52,663 --> 00:04:54,665
(clenches teeth)
ISN'T THAT GREAT, JIM?
90
00:04:56,567 --> 00:04:57,867
YES!
91
00:04:57,868 --> 00:05:02,071
CONGRATULATIONS
ON YOUR HONOR/AWARD.
92
00:05:02,072 --> 00:05:04,904
THANK YOU.
93
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,936
THAT'S
VERY KIND/THOUGHTFUL.
94
00:05:06,937 --> 00:05:09,639
(laughs) HEY, LISTEN,
YOU KNOW WHAT?
95
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:12,742
WHY DON'T I TAKE THE GIRLS?
I MEAN, I'M GOING ANYWAY.
96
00:05:12,743 --> 00:05:15,515
WHAT'S TWO MORE HYSTERICAL GIRLS
IN THE MINIVAN?
97
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:19,088
WOW, YOU WOULD REALLY DO THAT? SURE,
AND THAT'S ME TALKING, NOT THE CHEAT SHEET.
98
00:05:19,089 --> 00:05:22,091
YOU... I-I DON'T THINK EMILY
REALLY WANTS YOU TO DO S...
99
00:05:22,092 --> 00:05:24,724
THAT REALLY SOUNDS LIKE FUN.
YEAH. YEAH. GOOD. ALL RIGHT.
100
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:27,697
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL SEE
IF I CAN GET TICKETS. OKAY.
101
00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:30,099
MOM, CAN WE GO LISTEN
TO THE CD? OH, SURE.
102
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:31,801
YES!
YEAH, WOW.
103
00:05:31,802 --> 00:05:33,102
YEAH.
WOW.
104
00:05:33,103 --> 00:05:34,804
WOW.
GREAT.
105
00:05:34,805 --> 00:05:36,105
(chuckles nervously)
106
00:05:36,106 --> 00:05:38,738
HA HA HA HA HA.
107
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,039
(sighs)
108
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,742
WELL...
109
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,649
SO ARE WE DONE HERE?
110
00:05:49,650 --> 00:05:51,881
JIM, WE HAVEN'T HAD
DINNER YET.
111
00:05:51,882 --> 00:05:53,583
YEAH.
112
00:05:53,584 --> 00:05:55,825
"MAKE DINNER."
113
00:05:55,826 --> 00:05:58,087
OH, I THINK THIS PART
IS FOR YOU.
114
00:05:58,088 --> 00:05:59,790
OH.
115
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,800
SO ALL THE POTS AND PANS
ARE IN THERE.
116
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:17,677
OH, HEY, KYLE, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I DIDN'T EVEN THINK TO ASK
117
00:06:17,678 --> 00:06:20,650
IF YOU WANTED TO GO TO THAT
GLITTER POPS CONCERT TONIGHT.
118
00:06:20,651 --> 00:06:22,652
RIDE IN A CAR
FULL OF SCREAMING GIRLS
119
00:06:22,653 --> 00:06:25,785
TO SEE A CONCERT FULL OF
SCREAMING GIRLS? PASS. YEAH.
120
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:29,559
OH, HEY, JIM, I, UH...
121
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,561
KYLE, YOU KNOW WHAT I SAW?
122
00:06:31,562 --> 00:06:35,164
THERE'S A CUPCAKE TREE
OUT IN THE BACKYARD.
123
00:06:35,165 --> 00:06:38,929
I'M NOT A MORON.
CUPCAKES GROW ON BUSHES.
124
00:06:42,172 --> 00:06:45,936
BUT... JUST TO BE SAFE...
125
00:06:48,939 --> 00:06:50,940
WELL, WHAT'S GOING ON?
WHAT...
126
00:06:50,941 --> 00:06:52,442
WHAT'S UP?
127
00:06:52,443 --> 00:06:53,943
IT'S ABOUT THE CONCERT.
128
00:06:53,944 --> 00:06:56,986
I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH
EMILY'S GIRLS GOING TONIGHT.
129
00:06:56,987 --> 00:07:00,720
WHY? IF THERE'S A PROBLEM,
I'LL BE THERE LOOKING AFTER 'EM.
130
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:03,022
YEAH.
131
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:05,655
THAT'S PART OF THE PROBLEM.
132
00:07:05,656 --> 00:07:07,196
WHAT PART?
133
00:07:07,197 --> 00:07:09,098
THE PART THAT'S YOU.
134
00:07:09,099 --> 00:07:10,630
WHAT?!
135
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:13,102
GREAT TALK. SEE YOU
AT WORK. WHA... ANDY.
136
00:07:13,103 --> 00:07:18,008
NOT RIPE YET,
BUT STILL PRETTY GOOD.
137
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:26,116
MAYBE I'LL GO AND PLANT
SOME CUPCAKE SEEDS OUTSIDE.
138
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,529
I JUST THINK IT'S A BAD IDEA
FOR YOU TO TAKE EMILY'S GIRLS
139
00:07:39,530 --> 00:07:42,762
TO THE CONCERT. BAD IDEA?
COME ON. I'M A GOOD PARENT.
140
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,164
I TOOK CARE OF MY TWO KIDS
141
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,768
WHILE CHERYL'S BEEN ON BED REST
THIS WHOLE TIME. YOU HAVE THREE KIDS.
142
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:51,941
THAT'S EVEN HARDER.
143
00:07:51,942 --> 00:07:54,904
JIM, THERE'LL BE
A LOT OF PEOPLE THERE.
144
00:07:54,905 --> 00:07:57,907
IT'S A PUBLIC PLACE.
WE BOTH KNOW HOW YOU ARE.
145
00:07:57,908 --> 00:08:00,910
HOW I AM?
146
00:08:00,911 --> 00:08:03,913
HOW I AM?
147
00:08:03,914 --> 00:08:07,216
HOW I AM?
148
00:08:07,217 --> 00:08:10,920
NO, ANDY,
I DON'T KNOW HOW I AM.
149
00:08:10,921 --> 00:08:12,562
HOW AM I?!
150
00:08:12,563 --> 00:08:15,064
YOU TOOK YOUR KIDS
TO A BEARS GAME
151
00:08:15,065 --> 00:08:16,796
AND PUNCHED A PACKERS FAN.
152
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:20,169
IF PUNCHING A PACKERS FAN
IS A CRIMINAL OFFENSE,
153
00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:21,871
HAVE ME ARRESTED.
154
00:08:21,872 --> 00:08:24,503
YOU WERE ARRESTED!
155
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,636
COME ON.
THAT WAS STADIUM JAIL.
156
00:08:26,637 --> 00:08:29,909
I MISSED THE FOURTH QUARTER.
I PAID MY DEBT TO SOCIETY.
157
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:33,242
YOU LOST THEM FOR SIX HOURS
AT THE DOG TRACK.
158
00:08:33,243 --> 00:08:35,244
AND RUBY HIT THE TRIFECTA.
159
00:08:35,245 --> 00:08:38,087
AND WE'RE STILL IN TOUCH
WITH THAT FAMILY
160
00:08:38,088 --> 00:08:41,290
THAT FOUND HER AND BOUGHT HER
LUNCH. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.
161
00:08:41,291 --> 00:08:43,292
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
RIGHT THERE, MAN.
162
00:08:43,293 --> 00:08:45,955
WHERE? I CAN'T HAVE
EMILY'S KIDS COME HOME
163
00:08:45,956 --> 00:08:48,928
TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY GOT
IN A HIGH-SPEED CHASE
164
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:50,059
ON THE EXPRESSWAY
165
00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:52,762
BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT
YOU SAW COACH DITKA!
166
00:08:52,763 --> 00:08:54,764
THAT IS NOT MY FAULT!
167
00:08:54,765 --> 00:08:56,966
THAT WOMAN HAD
A VERY THICK MOUSTACHE!
168
00:08:56,967 --> 00:09:00,309
HAVE I PROVED MY POINT?
169
00:09:00,310 --> 00:09:03,242
COME ON, MAN.
170
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:07,046
YOU KNOW WHAT, ANDY?
YOU HAVE PROVED YOUR POINT.
171
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:10,920
YOU BEING MY BEST FRIEND,
I-I'M GONNA DO THE RIGHT THING.
172
00:09:10,921 --> 00:09:13,923
(sighs) OH, THANK YOU.
173
00:09:13,924 --> 00:09:15,925
(laughs)
RUBY!
174
00:09:15,926 --> 00:09:17,987
HEY, I APPRECIATE THIS.
AW!
175
00:09:17,988 --> 00:09:20,990
(laughs)
WHAT'S UP?
176
00:09:20,991 --> 00:09:23,993
LISTEN, I WANT YOU TO GET
REBECCA AND LAUREN ON THE PHONE.
177
00:09:23,994 --> 00:09:25,965
TELL 'EM
WE'RE GOING TO THE CONCERT,
178
00:09:25,966 --> 00:09:28,137
AND WE'RE PICKING
THEM UP AT 7:00. SWEET!
179
00:09:28,138 --> 00:09:31,000
GET OFF OF ME! WHAT ARE YOU
DOIN'?! I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'M DOIN'.
180
00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:33,002
I'M SAVING YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
181
00:09:33,003 --> 00:09:36,646
IF YOU'RE AFRAID OF YOUR WOMAN,
IT'S NEVER GONNA LAST.
182
00:09:36,647 --> 00:09:38,648
OH, GOD!
183
00:09:38,649 --> 00:09:41,150
(sobbing)
OH, GOD, OH, GOD, OH, GOD!
184
00:09:41,151 --> 00:09:44,053
YOU KNOW WHAT? I TAKE CARE
OF OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS
185
00:09:44,054 --> 00:09:46,916
BETTER THAN I TAKE CARE
OF MY OWN.
186
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:49,258
I CAN'T SUE ME.
187
00:09:49,259 --> 00:09:51,260
OH, MY GOD!
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!
188
00:09:51,261 --> 00:09:52,962
ANDY, RELAX.
189
00:09:52,963 --> 00:09:55,765
IT'S THREE LITTLE GIRLS.
WHAT CAN HAPPEN? FOUR!
190
00:09:55,766 --> 00:09:57,197
FOUR, FOUR, FOUR, FOUR.
191
00:10:02,973 --> 00:10:05,274
(Jim) OKAY, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
192
00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:08,908
ARE WE ALL STILL HERE? RIGHT?
ALL RIGHT, COUNT OFF. COUNT OFF.
193
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,609
DAD, WE'RE ALL HERE,
194
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:12,912
AND WE'RE LATE BECAUSE
YOU WOULDN'T PAY FOR PARKING.
195
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,915
WELL, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
10 BUCKS FOR 3 HOURS?
196
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:18,918
WHEN THERE WAS A PERFECTLY GOOD
VACANT LOT 12 BLOCKS AWAY?
197
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,920
THERE WERE RATS THERE.
198
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:23,953
THERE WERE SQUIRRELS THERE.
199
00:10:23,954 --> 00:10:25,995
OKAY, NOW LET'S GO OVER
200
00:10:25,996 --> 00:10:28,327
JIM'S MASTER PLAN
ONE MORE TIME. GO.
201
00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,329
WE'RE WEARING ORANGE T-SHIRTS
202
00:10:30,330 --> 00:10:32,932
SO YOU CAN PICK US OUT
OF THE CROWD. GOOD. GO.
203
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:35,935
WE EACH HAVE GLOW STICKS SO YOU
CAN SEE US IN THE DARK. GOOD. GO.
204
00:10:35,936 --> 00:10:38,938
IF WE NEED YOU, WE WAVE
THEM IN THE AIR. GOOD. GO.
205
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:42,141
THERE ISN'T ANY MORE.
206
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,113
VERY GOOD.
207
00:10:44,114 --> 00:10:46,115
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!
COME BACK HERE.
208
00:10:46,116 --> 00:10:49,949
COME BACK HERE.
ONE MORE THING.
209
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,922
ALL RIGHT, YOU SEE
THAT CONCESSION STAND OVER THERE
210
00:10:52,923 --> 00:10:56,225
WHERE THE IRRESPONSIBLE FATHERS
ARE DRINKING BEER?
211
00:10:56,226 --> 00:10:59,759
WELL, IF WE SHOULD GET
SEPARATED, WE SHOULD MEET...
212
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,990
MEET...
213
00:11:00,991 --> 00:11:02,692
HEY!
214
00:11:02,693 --> 00:11:05,966
(crowd speaking indistinctly)
215
00:11:09,099 --> 00:11:12,101
(exhales deeply) MY GOD,
I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MUCH ORANGE
216
00:11:12,102 --> 00:11:14,705
SINCE I DID
MY COMMUNITY SERVICE.
217
00:11:17,908 --> 00:11:19,909
(whispers) CRAP.
218
00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:21,210
(normal voice) GIRLS!
219
00:11:21,211 --> 00:11:25,886
GIRLS, HOLD UP YOUR GLOW STICKS
SO I CAN SEE YOU!
220
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,419
I CAN SEE YOU!
221
00:11:30,420 --> 00:11:33,022
(crowd screaming)
222
00:11:33,023 --> 00:11:36,726
AND NOW I CAN'T SEE YOU.
223
00:11:36,727 --> 00:11:39,730
(pop music playing)
224
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:49,909
♪ WE CAN DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪
225
00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:53,042
♪ YOU GOT ME FEELING SO RIGHT ♪
226
00:11:53,043 --> 00:11:55,945
♪ WE CAN DANCE ALL NIGHT ♪
227
00:11:55,946 --> 00:11:58,017
♪ TONIGHT ♪
228
00:11:58,018 --> 00:12:00,320
♪ I SAY WE DANCE ALL NIGHT
TONIGHT ♪
229
00:12:04,955 --> 00:12:06,255
ANDY, ARE YOU OKAY?
230
00:12:06,256 --> 00:12:09,128
I TOLD YOU
THAT WAS TOO MUCH HAM.
231
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:11,831
OH. NO, NO, I'M... I'M FINE.
I'M JUST NERVOUS.
232
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,804
WHAT IF YOU DON'T WIN?
WHAT IF YOUR SPEECH IS BAD?
233
00:12:14,805 --> 00:12:18,067
WHAT IF THE KIDS AREN'T
SAFE WITH JIM? WHAT?
234
00:12:18,068 --> 00:12:21,070
I MEAN... (laughs)
THEY'RE TOTALLY SAFE. YEAH.
235
00:12:21,071 --> 00:12:23,342
RELAX. WORRY ABOUT
YOUR CRAPPY SPEECH.
236
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:26,015
OH, DON'T TRY TO BE FUNNY.
IT'S NOT YOUR THING.
237
00:12:26,016 --> 00:12:28,017
UM,
CAN I GET SOME MORE HAM?
238
00:12:28,018 --> 00:12:30,319
(man, voice amplified) AND NOW
PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE
239
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,022
TONIGHT'S GUEST OF HONOR...
DR. EMILY COLGAN.
240
00:12:33,023 --> 00:12:35,454
(wheezes) YEAH!
241
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:38,287
RIGHT? THAT'S MY GIRL!
(laughs)
242
00:12:38,288 --> 00:12:41,290
BEST ORTHODONTIST IN TOWN,
MAN!
243
00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:43,532
(laughs)
HER KIDS ARE TOTALLY FINE!
244
00:12:43,533 --> 00:12:46,535
(Emily, voice amplified)
THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
245
00:12:46,536 --> 00:12:48,137
I REALLY APPRECIATE THIS
SO MUCH.
246
00:12:48,138 --> 00:12:49,839
(cell phone rings)
247
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,040
(ring)
248
00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:53,042
HI, ANDY.
THE GIRLS ARE FINE.
249
00:12:53,043 --> 00:12:56,005
THEY'RE STANDING RIGHT NEXT
TO ME. I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.
250
00:12:56,006 --> 00:12:59,048
YOU ARE A LIAR,
A THUG AND A DRUNK.
251
00:12:59,049 --> 00:13:00,349
WHAT HAPPENED?
252
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:02,351
NOTHING HAPPENED.
253
00:13:02,352 --> 00:13:05,184
I-I WANT TO HEAR IT
FROM REBECCA OR LAUREN.
254
00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:07,957
PUT 'EM ON THE PHONE. (imitates
static) I'M GOING THROUGH A TUNNEL.
255
00:13:07,958 --> 00:13:10,459
YOU'RE AT A CONCERT!
TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED...
256
00:13:10,460 --> 00:13:12,791
(gasps) DID YOU LOSE THEM?
257
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,094
I DID NOT LOSE THEM.
258
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,497
I JUST DON'T REMEMBER
WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE.
259
00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:22,131
I MEAN, IT'S NOTHING
BUT A SEA OF HAIR AND BRACES.
260
00:13:22,132 --> 00:13:24,834
(high-pitched voice)
OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOD!
261
00:13:24,835 --> 00:13:27,837
Relax. Don't worry.
They're here.
262
00:13:27,838 --> 00:13:29,208
I know they're here.
263
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,842
I MEAN,
I GUESS THEY COULD BE GONE.
264
00:13:32,843 --> 00:13:34,844
OH, MY GOD!
265
00:13:34,845 --> 00:13:36,585
OKAY.
DON'T... DON'T DO ANYTHING.
266
00:13:36,586 --> 00:13:38,047
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
267
00:13:38,048 --> 00:13:40,049
(Emily) ...OVER THE YEARS...
(continues indistinctly)
268
00:13:40,050 --> 00:13:42,421
WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT?
THE SHOW'S ONSTAGE.
269
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:45,424
OH, HEY, HEY, HEY, BY THE WAY,
BY THE WAY, MY FRIEND,
270
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,426
UM, IF SHE ASKS WHERE I WENT,
271
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:50,429
UM, WILL YOU JUST TELL HER
THAT I HAD AN EMERGENCY
272
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:53,533
THAT HAD NOTHING
TO DO WITH HER KIDS?
273
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:03,442
♪ I HAD TO TELL SOMEONE ♪
274
00:14:03,443 --> 00:14:06,575
♪ I COULD BE WRONG,
AND I'VE SAID IT BEFORE ♪
275
00:14:06,576 --> 00:14:11,280
REBECCA!
276
00:14:11,281 --> 00:14:16,126
JIM!
277
00:14:18,188 --> 00:14:21,230
♪ HE LOOKS MY WAY ♪
278
00:14:21,231 --> 00:14:23,963
♪ AND I FORGET THE WORDS... ♪
279
00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,035
ARE YOU... YOU'RE NOT LAUREN?
280
00:14:26,036 --> 00:14:29,068
OH... YOU ARE THE
WORST FRIEND EVER!
281
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,971
WILL YOU RELAX?
THEY'RE OUT HERE SOMEWHERE.
282
00:14:31,972 --> 00:14:34,073
"OUT HERE SOMEWHERE"
ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH, JIM!
283
00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,075
I KNEW
YOU WOULD SCREW THIS UP!
284
00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,077
LOOK, YOU WANNA SAY,
"I TOLD YOU SO,"
285
00:14:38,078 --> 00:14:40,879
OR DO YOU WANT TO SAY
TO EMILY,
286
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:45,214
"I FOUND YOUR KIDS. THEY'RE SAFE AND SOUND"? I WANNA
DO BOTH, AND I WANT SOME POST-AWARD CEREMONY LOVIN'.
287
00:14:45,215 --> 00:14:47,957
♪ HAD TO TELL SOMEONE ♪
288
00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:49,258
♪ I COULD BE WRONG ♪
289
00:14:49,259 --> 00:14:51,320
HEY,
THIS BAND'S PRETTY GOOD.
290
00:14:51,321 --> 00:14:53,522
OH! COME ON, COME ON.
291
00:14:53,523 --> 00:14:56,325
(Jim) LOOK FOR 'EM.
(Andy) UH-HUH.
292
00:14:56,326 --> 00:14:58,027
THIS ONE HERE. HERE.
293
00:14:58,028 --> 00:14:59,328
NO.
294
00:14:59,329 --> 00:15:01,000
THIS ONE HERE?
295
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:02,671
NO.
296
00:15:02,672 --> 00:15:05,634
OH, THIS... THIS IS
NEVER GONNA WORK, JIM.
297
00:15:05,635 --> 00:15:08,907
WE GOTTA BE SOMEPLACE
WHERE WE CAN SEE EVERYBODY.
298
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:12,211
♪ WE FINALLY TAKE OUR CHANCE ♪
299
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:14,143
♪ I MAY BE TOO YOUNG ♪
300
00:15:14,144 --> 00:15:15,644
COME ON.
301
00:15:15,645 --> 00:15:18,017
WHERE... WHERE ARE WE GOING?
COME ON.
302
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:20,950
(crowd screaming)
303
00:15:20,951 --> 00:15:23,052
HOW ARE WE DOING TONIGHT,
CHICAGO?
304
00:15:23,053 --> 00:15:26,195
(screaming continues)
305
00:15:26,196 --> 00:15:27,696
THAT'S GREAT.
306
00:15:27,697 --> 00:15:30,699
THIS NEXT SONG WE'RE GONNA PLAY
IS OUR LAST SONG,
307
00:15:30,700 --> 00:15:33,202
BUT IT'S OUR FAVORITE SONG
TO PLAY LIVE,
308
00:15:33,203 --> 00:15:35,204
CALLED
"WHY WON'T HE TALK TO ME?"
309
00:15:35,205 --> 00:15:38,137
ONE, TWO,
ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!
310
00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:41,411
(blues harmonica playing)
311
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:56,485
UH, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
PLEASE WELCOME SPECIAL GUESTS...
312
00:15:56,486 --> 00:15:59,228
BIG DADDY JIM
AND THE ANDYMAN!
313
00:15:59,229 --> 00:16:03,062
HEY, CHICAGO,
HOW YOU DOIN'?!
314
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:06,735
♪♪♪
315
00:16:06,736 --> 00:16:11,040
♪ IF YOUR NAME IS LAUREN,
RAISE YOUR HAND ♪
316
00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:13,042
YOU HEARD HIM.
RAISE YOUR HAND!
317
00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:17,706
♪ IF YOUR NAME IS LAUREN,
RAISE YOUR HAND ♪
318
00:16:17,707 --> 00:16:20,049
(both) ♪ IF YOUR NAME IS LAUREN,
RAISE YOUR HAND ♪
319
00:16:20,050 --> 00:16:22,011
♪ NOW IF YOU RAISED
YOUR HAND ♪
320
00:16:22,012 --> 00:16:24,013
♪ COME UP HERE AND JOIN
THE BAND ♪ (harmonica plays)
321
00:16:24,014 --> 00:16:27,156
(girls) ♪ RAISE YOUR HAND,
COME UP HERE AND JOIN THE BAND ♪
322
00:16:27,157 --> 00:16:30,059
(Jim) ♪ IF YOUR NAME IS
LAUREN... ♪
323
00:16:30,060 --> 00:16:33,362
COME UP HERE AND JOIN THE BAND, LAUREN. OOH, GOT HER, GOT HER.
♪ IF YOUR NAME IS LAUREN, COME UP HERE AND JOIN THE BAND ♪
324
00:16:33,363 --> 00:16:35,194
♪ IF YOUR NAME IS REBECCA,
COME UP HERE ♪
325
00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:39,128
(girls) ♪ IF YOUR NAME IS REBECCA,
COME UP HERE ♪ (plays harmonica)
326
00:16:39,129 --> 00:16:41,670
♪ IF YOUR NAME IS REBECCA,
COME UP HERE ♪
327
00:16:41,671 --> 00:16:44,473
♪ IF YOUR NAME IS REBECCA,
COME UP HERE ♪
328
00:16:44,474 --> 00:16:47,136
♪ IF YOU COME UP HERE,
I'M IN THE CLEAR ♪
329
00:16:47,137 --> 00:16:49,438
♪ SO IF
YOUR NAME'S REBECCA ♪
330
00:16:49,439 --> 00:16:51,140
♪ COME UP HERE ♪
331
00:16:51,141 --> 00:16:52,441
♪ COME UP HERE ♪
(plays harmonica)
332
00:16:52,442 --> 00:16:55,144
DAD, YOU'RE SO COOL!
YOU'RE SO AWESOME!
333
00:16:55,145 --> 00:16:57,586
(plays harmonica)
334
00:16:57,587 --> 00:17:00,149
♪ AND SCREAM AND DANCE
AND JUMP AROUND ♪
335
00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:03,092
♪ I WON'T GET SUED
NOW THAT THEY'RE FOUND ♪
336
00:17:03,093 --> 00:17:06,095
♪ HE WON'T GET SUED, HE WON'T
GET SUED ♪ ♪ COME ON, REBECCA ♪
337
00:17:06,096 --> 00:17:09,158
(harmonica playing)
338
00:17:09,159 --> 00:17:12,431
OKAY, WE GOT 'EM,
WE GOT 'EM. LET'S GO.
339
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:15,134
WE GOT 'EM! I GOT 'EM!
I GOT 'EM! THEY LOVE ME.
340
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:18,407
THEY LOVE ME!
IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU, JIM!
341
00:17:18,408 --> 00:17:21,440
WHAT IF THERE'S A SCOUT OUT
THERE? EMILY'S WAITING FOR ME.
342
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:24,614
GET AWAY FROM ME!
(resumes playing)
343
00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:31,680
(cheers and applause)
344
00:17:31,681 --> 00:17:33,582
THANK YOU, CHICAGO.
345
00:17:33,583 --> 00:17:37,157
(continues playing)
346
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:43,132
I LOVE YOU, CHICAGO!
347
00:17:43,133 --> 00:17:46,064
(cheers and applause)
348
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:49,067
LET'S HEAR IT
ONE MORE TIME
349
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,839
FOR BIG DADDY JAKE
AND THE FAT MAN!
350
00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:52,241
(cheering)
351
00:17:52,242 --> 00:17:55,244
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
352
00:17:55,245 --> 00:17:58,247
I GET IT, I GET IT.
I'M THE COOLEST FATHER EVER.
353
00:17:58,248 --> 00:18:02,151
PLEASE STOP IT.
IT'S JUST EMBARRASSING ME.
354
00:18:02,152 --> 00:18:05,214
THAT MEANS HE WANTS US TO
TELL HIM MORE. THANK YOU, HONEY.
355
00:18:05,215 --> 00:18:08,117
THAT WAS AWESOME. I CAN'T
BELIEVE WE MET THE BAND.
356
00:18:08,118 --> 00:18:11,690
HEY, AND NOT ONLY THAT,
WE GOT BANNED FROM THE ARENA.
357
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,493
HOW MANY LITTLE GIRLS
CAN BRAG ABOUT THAT?
358
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:17,866
YOU'RE THE GREATEST.
YOU'RE THE WORST!
359
00:18:17,867 --> 00:18:22,771
DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD DITCH ME ON
THE WAY HOME? I WASN'T TRYING TO DITCH YOU.
360
00:18:22,772 --> 00:18:25,674
WE WERE CHASING
COACH DITKA.
361
00:18:25,675 --> 00:18:28,207
GIRLS, WHY DON'T YOU GO
IN THE KITCHEN
362
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:31,210
AND GET SOME ICE CREAM?
THANKS AGAIN, DAD.
363
00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,682
OH, YOU'RE WELCOME.
YOU WERE REALLY FUN,
364
00:18:33,683 --> 00:18:36,185
AND YOU'RE GOOD DANCERS.
(chuckles) YEAH, I-I JUST CAME BACK BY
365
00:18:36,186 --> 00:18:38,887
TO MAKE SURE YOU DIDN'T LOSE 'EM
AGAIN ON THE WAY HOME.
366
00:18:38,888 --> 00:18:42,651
NOW I GOTTA GET BACK TO EMILY'S DINNER.
WELL, WAIT, ISN'T THAT DINNER OVER BY NOW?
367
00:18:42,652 --> 00:18:45,694
OF COURSE IT'S OVER!
HELP ME COME UP WITH A GOOD LIE.
368
00:18:45,695 --> 00:18:49,127
ANDY, HONESTLY, I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M ABOUT TO SAY THIS,
369
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,430
BUT WHY DON'T YOU JUST TELL HER
THE TRUTH? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
370
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:54,563
SHE'LL THINK I'M AN IDIOT
FOR BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU.
371
00:18:54,564 --> 00:18:57,135
YOU ARE AN IDIOT
FOR BEING FRIENDS WITH ME.
372
00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,439
ANDY, WHAT ARE YOU,
AN IDIOT?
373
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,141
I WAS JUST IN THE MIDDLE
OF MY SPEECH,
374
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,344
AND YOU JUST WALKED OUT.
UH... WELL, UM...
375
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:07,346
THE NIGHT MY FATHER DIED,
376
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:11,580
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO RECEIVE
AN AWARD, AND SO I... ANDY!
377
00:19:11,581 --> 00:19:14,923
(gasps) YOU STAY OUT OF THIS. COME
ON. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
378
00:19:14,924 --> 00:19:17,486
IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.
OH, BY THE WAY, EMILY,
379
00:19:17,487 --> 00:19:19,488
I LOST YOUR KIDS BRIEFLY
AT THE CONCERT.
380
00:19:19,489 --> 00:19:22,491
THEN ANDY FREAKED OUT, AND THEN WE
FOUND THEM. OH, THAT HAPPENED TO ME ONCE.
381
00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:26,396
THOSE CONCERTS ARE JUST
A SEA OF HAIR AND BRACES.
382
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,499
HMM.
383
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,871
GO AHEAD, ANDY.
384
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:35,774
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT. WAIT A SECOND.
385
00:19:35,775 --> 00:19:37,946
YOU'RE NOT MAD?
WHY WOULD I BE MAD?
386
00:19:37,947 --> 00:19:40,949
WELL... YOU SEE, ANDY, EMILY
ACCEPTS YOU WARTS AND ALL,
387
00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:43,712
AND I'M WART NUMBER ONE,
388
00:19:43,713 --> 00:19:45,714
BUT SHE CAN GET USED
TO THAT
389
00:19:45,715 --> 00:19:48,217
AND EVENTUALLY,
MAYBE EVEN ENJOY IT.
390
00:19:48,218 --> 00:19:50,389
THANKS, JIM.
391
00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:52,391
I CAN TAKE IT FROM HERE.
392
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:56,425
RIGHT. THIS HAS NOTHING
TO DO... WITH ME.
393
00:19:56,426 --> 00:19:58,827
NO, THIS IS
ABOUT ANDY AND I,
394
00:19:58,828 --> 00:20:01,870
AND THERE'S SOMETHING I REALLY
NEED TO SAY TO YOU, ANDY.
395
00:20:01,871 --> 00:20:05,904
(sighs) I AGREE WITH
EVERYTHING JIM JUST SAID.
396
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:08,777
HMM.
397
00:20:08,778 --> 00:20:10,279
REALLY?
YEAH.
398
00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:14,544
BECAUSE EVERYTHING HE SAID
FOR ME IS EXACTLY WHAT I THINK.
399
00:20:17,947 --> 00:20:22,220
SO SHOULD WE HUG OR KISS
OR SOMETHIN'?
400
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,954
WELL, JIM,
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
401
00:20:26,996 --> 00:20:30,729
WELL, I THINK IT MIGHT MAKE ANDY
A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE,
402
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,831
BUT, OKAY,
I'M READY FOR IT.
403
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,833
AH...
404
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:38,236
JIM, I THINK I GOT THIS ONE.
(sighs)
405
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,709
OH!
406
00:20:41,411 --> 00:20:42,911
ANDY?
407
00:20:42,912 --> 00:20:44,414
JIM...
408
00:20:49,519 --> 00:20:52,322
OH. (laughing)
409
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:57,627
WHOO. (laughs)
410
00:21:03,933 --> 00:21:05,964
SO WE'RE DONE HERE?
411
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:09,038
WELL, WE HAVEN'T HAD
DINNER YET.
29028
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