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1
00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:04,134
I'M THIRSTY. WOULD YOU
LOAN ME A BEER? SHH!
2
00:00:04,135 --> 00:00:05,635
(whispers) OH, RIGHT.
3
00:00:05,636 --> 00:00:09,139
IF THE BEERS KNOW WE'RE COMING,
THEY'LL TRY TO HIDE.
4
00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:11,641
(lowered voice) NO,
I JUST WANT TO HAVE A BEER
5
00:00:11,642 --> 00:00:13,713
BEFORE THE SCREAMING STARTS.
WHAT SCREAMING?
6
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:15,685
CHERYL'S RESTING UPSTAIRS,
7
00:00:15,686 --> 00:00:18,688
AND YOU KNOW HOW SHE GETS CRAZY
EVERY PREGNANCY?
8
00:00:18,689 --> 00:00:21,591
WELL, IT'S DOUBLE THIS TIME
BECAUSE SHE'S HAVING TWINS.
9
00:00:21,592 --> 00:00:25,755
PLUS THOSE HORMONES GO NUTS
WHEN YOU'RE OLDER.
10
00:00:25,756 --> 00:00:28,098
DON'T SAY THAT WORD
IN THIS HOUSE.
11
00:00:28,099 --> 00:00:31,101
WHICH WORD...
"HORMONES" OR "OLDER"?
12
00:00:31,102 --> 00:00:33,303
DON'T DO THAT.
13
00:00:33,304 --> 00:00:35,765
BE QUIET.
YOU KNOW CHERYL.
14
00:00:35,766 --> 00:00:38,308
DURING EVERY PREGNANCY
THERE'S ONE POINT
15
00:00:38,309 --> 00:00:40,810
WHERE SHE GOES OVER
TO THE DARK SIDE.
16
00:00:40,811 --> 00:00:42,812
SHE'S RIGHT ON THE EDGE,
17
00:00:42,813 --> 00:00:45,446
AND I DON'T WANT HER
TO GO OVER IT.
18
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:03,463
WELL DONE.
19
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,465
BOTTOMS UP.
20
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,597
(clinks loudly)
OH, ANDY, DAMN IT!
21
00:01:07,598 --> 00:01:10,600
(Cheryl) WHAT ARE
YOU MONKEYS DOING DOWN THERE?!
22
00:01:10,601 --> 00:01:12,742
ARE YOU WITH YOUR WHORES?!
23
00:01:12,743 --> 00:01:16,606
(normal voice)
NO, BABY!
24
00:01:16,607 --> 00:01:20,611
DON'T YOU "NO, BABY" ME!
GET UP HERE!
25
00:01:22,483 --> 00:01:25,316
WOW, SHE HAS GREAT HEARING
FOR AN OLDER WOMAN.
26
00:01:27,618 --> 00:01:30,621
♪♪♪
27
00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:39,430
(sobbing)
28
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:49,479
HELLO,
MY YOUNG, SKINNY BRIDE.
29
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,712
MY LIFE IS OVER.
30
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,415
OH, COME ON, HONEY.
DON'T BE SILLY.
31
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:58,748
YOU GOT SO MUCH IN LIFE
TO LOOK FORWARD TO. NO.
32
00:01:58,749 --> 00:02:02,822
FOR EXAMPLE, ISN'T IT TIME
TO START MAKING DINNER?
33
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:06,856
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
I SAW THE DOCTOR TODAY.
34
00:02:06,857 --> 00:02:08,498
AND?
35
00:02:08,499 --> 00:02:10,600
NO, THE TWINS ARE FINE.
36
00:02:10,601 --> 00:02:11,901
AS A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE,
37
00:02:11,902 --> 00:02:14,904
HE WANTS TO PUT ME
ON BED REST.
38
00:02:14,905 --> 00:02:17,737
ALL NIGHT?
39
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:21,511
UNTIL THE BABIES ARE BORN.
40
00:02:21,512 --> 00:02:24,714
DOES THIS HAVE TO START
BEFORE DINNER?
41
00:02:24,715 --> 00:02:27,177
OH, JIM.
42
00:02:27,178 --> 00:02:30,220
I-I... IT'S A LOT
TO ABSORB HERE.
43
00:02:30,221 --> 00:02:31,681
GIVE ME A MINUTE.
44
00:02:31,682 --> 00:02:33,383
(sighs)
45
00:02:33,384 --> 00:02:37,327
I MEAN, IT'S GONNA BE
REALLY HARD ON ME.
46
00:02:37,328 --> 00:02:39,689
WHAT ABOUT ME?
47
00:02:39,690 --> 00:02:42,932
WELL,
WON'T YOU BE LYING DOWN?
48
00:02:42,933 --> 00:02:45,295
IT'S NOT FUNNY!
49
00:02:45,296 --> 00:02:48,238
I HAVE BEEN AWAY
FROM MY FAMILY FOR MONTHS.
50
00:02:48,239 --> 00:02:50,240
GIVING MY MOM SPONGE BATHS
51
00:02:50,241 --> 00:02:53,743
BECAUSE... BOO-HOO...
SHE BROKE HER HIP.
52
00:02:53,744 --> 00:02:54,844
AND THEN YOU...
53
00:02:54,845 --> 00:02:56,646
HONEY... HONEY...
54
00:02:56,647 --> 00:02:59,649
YOU DID YOUR FILTHY BUSINESS
ON ME ON AN AIRPLANE
55
00:02:59,650 --> 00:03:01,781
AND GOT ME ALL KNOCKED UP...
HONEY, HONEY...
56
00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:05,415
WHILE YOU BRING YOUR WHORES
AROUND AND FORGET ALL ABOUT ME!
57
00:03:05,416 --> 00:03:06,656
HONEY, COME ON!
58
00:03:06,657 --> 00:03:09,819
EASY, BABY, EASY.
59
00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:12,422
IT'S NOT GONNA BE THAT BAD.
60
00:03:12,423 --> 00:03:14,494
HONEST.
61
00:03:14,495 --> 00:03:17,827
LOOK, WHILE YOU WERE IN FLORIDA
TAKING CARE OF YOUR MOM,
62
00:03:17,828 --> 00:03:20,530
I TOOK CARE
OF THE HOUSE, RIGHT?
63
00:03:20,531 --> 00:03:24,534
YEAH.
I WILL CONTINUE TO DO SO.
64
00:03:24,535 --> 00:03:25,835
ALL RIGHT?
65
00:03:25,836 --> 00:03:29,539
ALL I WANT YOU TO DO
IS RELAX
66
00:03:29,540 --> 00:03:33,813
AND CONCENTRATE ON MAKING
THESE BABIES BEAUTIFUL.
67
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,685
WHAT ABOUT GRACIE'S PARTY?
68
00:03:35,686 --> 00:03:37,387
HER BIRTHDAY PARTY?
69
00:03:37,388 --> 00:03:39,389
YES! I RESERVED
THE COTILLION ROOM
70
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:41,452
AT THE NATIONAL GIRL
DOLL STORE.
71
00:03:44,395 --> 00:03:45,695
NOT A PROBLEM.
72
00:03:45,696 --> 00:03:47,627
IS COTILLION
MORE THAN A BILLION?
73
00:03:47,628 --> 00:03:49,629
OH!
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
74
00:03:49,630 --> 00:03:51,801
(sighs) NATIONAL GIRL DOLLS
HAVE ONLY BEEN
75
00:03:51,802 --> 00:03:54,804
YOUR DAUGHTER'S FAVORITE THING
FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS.
76
00:03:54,805 --> 00:03:56,806
PERHAPS YOU REMEMBER
A FEW DINNERS
77
00:03:56,807 --> 00:03:59,669
WITH A LITTLE DOLL
NAMED CONSTANCE HIGGENBOTTOM?
78
00:03:59,670 --> 00:04:02,672
OH, THAT QUIET GIRL
WHO DIDN'T TALK?
79
00:04:02,673 --> 00:04:03,973
YEAH, I LIKED HER.
80
00:04:03,974 --> 00:04:07,677
SHE WAS POLITE AND LET ME
TAKE FOOD OFF HER PLATE.
81
00:04:07,678 --> 00:04:10,680
(scoffs) THE COTILLION ROOM
IS A VERY BIG DEAL. ALL RIGHT.
82
00:04:10,681 --> 00:04:12,982
WE'VE BEEN ON THE WAITING LIST
FOR OVER A YEAR.
83
00:04:12,983 --> 00:04:14,984
AND NOW
I'M GONNA HAVE TO CANCEL,
84
00:04:14,985 --> 00:04:17,727
AND IT'S GONNA BREAK
LITTLE GRACIE'S HEART.
85
00:04:17,728 --> 00:04:20,690
HONEY, PLEASE.
86
00:04:20,691 --> 00:04:22,692
WE'RE NOT GONNA CANCEL.
87
00:04:22,693 --> 00:04:24,764
I WILL HANDLE IT.
88
00:04:24,765 --> 00:04:26,265
OH, YEAH, RIGHT.
89
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:30,340
IT'S TEN LITTLE GIRLS
AND THEIR DOLLS HAVING HIGH TEA.
90
00:04:30,341 --> 00:04:32,772
NOT A PROBLEM.
91
00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,674
I'LL HANDLE IT.
92
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:37,507
DO YOU MEAN IT?
93
00:04:37,508 --> 00:04:40,650
YES, I DO.
94
00:04:40,651 --> 00:04:44,614
THEN I LOVE YOU.
95
00:04:44,615 --> 00:04:46,386
DO YOU?
96
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:49,319
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THINKING
THAT MAYBE THERE'S AN UPSIDE
97
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,791
TO YOU BEING IN BED
ALL THE TIME.
98
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:56,626
ACTUALLY, HONEY,
I TALKED TO MY O.B.
99
00:04:56,627 --> 00:04:59,729
HE SAID I CAN'T HAVE SEX
TILL AFTER THE BABIES ARE BORN.
100
00:04:59,730 --> 00:05:01,332
WOW.
101
00:05:03,334 --> 00:05:06,076
DID YOU TALK
TO THE EAR, NOSE, THROAT GUY?
102
00:05:16,787 --> 00:05:19,489
(lowered voice) ALL RIGHT,
WE'RE GONNA GO IN THERE,
103
00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:20,790
GIVE YOUR MOTHER LUNCH,
104
00:05:20,791 --> 00:05:24,053
AND THEN WE'RE GONNA
GO TO THE PARTY.
105
00:05:24,054 --> 00:05:27,927
REMEMBER, THAT'S NOT
YOUR MOTHER IN THERE.
106
00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:30,701
THAT'S THE HORMONES.
107
00:05:32,403 --> 00:05:34,464
SO DON'T GET TOO CLOSE...
108
00:05:34,465 --> 00:05:37,437
AND DON'T LOOK HER
IN THE EYE.
109
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,969
SO... SO IT'S LIKE
THE MONKEYS AT THE ZOO.
110
00:05:39,970 --> 00:05:43,873
EXCEPT FOR WE DON'T HAVE GLASS
TO PROTECT US HERE.
111
00:05:43,874 --> 00:05:45,645
DADDY, I'M SCARED.
112
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:49,749
IF SHE SAYS ANYTHING,
JUST SAY, "YES, MOMMY."
113
00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:51,651
YES, MOMMY.
114
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:54,685
TO MOMMY, KYLE.
115
00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,560
(gasps) HELLO!
116
00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:02,061
HI.
117
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:05,435
HOW ARE
MY LITTLE DARLINGS?
118
00:06:05,436 --> 00:06:07,638
YES, MOMMY.
119
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:14,144
THERE'S MY BIRTHDAY GIRL.
COME HERE, GRACIE.
120
00:06:17,948 --> 00:06:19,979
IT'S OKAY, HONEY.
121
00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,482
OKAY, DAD.
122
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:26,416
HONEY, I MADE YOU
AND YOUR SISTER TEA COZIES
123
00:06:26,417 --> 00:06:29,759
FOR YOUR PARTY.
124
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:32,522
(sobbing)
OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE
125
00:06:32,523 --> 00:06:38,397
MY LITTLE GIRL IS GONNA TURN 12,
AND I WON'T EVEN BE THERE.
126
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:42,031
I'M THE WORST MOMMY
IN THE WORLD, AREN'T I?
127
00:06:42,032 --> 00:06:45,134
YES, MO...
128
00:06:45,135 --> 00:06:49,408
(crying)
129
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,081
UM, THANK YOU
FOR THE TEA COZIES, MOMMY.
130
00:06:52,082 --> 00:06:54,544
OH, AND IT MATCHES
MY DOLL'S DRESS.
131
00:06:54,545 --> 00:06:56,886
(gasps) YOU NOTICED!
132
00:06:56,887 --> 00:06:59,118
WHERE'S MY COZIES?
133
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,621
UH, WELL, UH, YOU'RE NOT
GONNA GET A COZY,
134
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,623
BECAUSE YOU GET
A BIG SURPRISE.
135
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,596
YOU GET TO STAY HOME
WITH MOMMY ALL DAY LONG!
136
00:07:06,597 --> 00:07:08,899
WHAT THE CRAP?!
137
00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:17,137
(indistinct conversations)
138
00:07:29,179 --> 00:07:33,122
(bell ringing)
139
00:07:33,123 --> 00:07:36,826
NATIONAL GIRLS,
ATTENTION, PLEASE.
140
00:07:36,827 --> 00:07:39,659
ORDER. ORDER!
141
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:43,763
MRS. WHITNEY, CAN I HELP?
142
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:47,237
ALL RIGHT,
ZIP IT AND PARK IT!
143
00:07:48,669 --> 00:07:50,940
IT'S ALL YOUR, TOOTS.
144
00:07:50,941 --> 00:07:52,942
THANK YOU.
145
00:07:52,943 --> 00:07:54,804
AND WELCOME.
146
00:07:54,805 --> 00:07:59,108
AND A SPECIAL WELCOME
TO THE BIRTHDAY GIRL... GRACIE.
147
00:07:59,109 --> 00:08:01,110
(girls cheering)
148
00:08:01,111 --> 00:08:05,484
GIRLS, PLEASE! SCREAMING IS
NEITHER FETCHING NOR WINSOME.
149
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:09,188
WE USE INDOOR VOICES,
OR NO ONE GETS CRUMPETS.
150
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:12,592
(cheering softly)
151
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,494
I MUST HAVE HER.
152
00:08:19,530 --> 00:08:23,833
WE BEGIN
WITH THE NATIONAL GIRL PLEDGE,
153
00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:26,976
TRADITIONALLY READ BY THE MOTHER
OF THE BIRTHDAY GIRL.
154
00:08:26,977 --> 00:08:28,978
BUT DUE TO HER BEING...
155
00:08:28,979 --> 00:08:30,509
KNOCKED UP?
156
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,642
AS I WAS SAYING,
157
00:08:32,643 --> 00:08:34,644
SINCE THE MOTHER ISN'T HERE,
158
00:08:34,645 --> 00:08:36,946
PERHAPS THE FATHER
WOULD LIKE TO READ.
159
00:08:36,947 --> 00:08:40,721
(girls cheer)
160
00:08:43,253 --> 00:08:46,956
(bell rings)
161
00:08:46,957 --> 00:08:52,261
"I, AS A NATIONAL GIRL...
OF AMERICA...
162
00:08:52,262 --> 00:08:54,964
"PLEDGE TO PROUDLY
AND LOVINGLY CARE
163
00:08:54,965 --> 00:09:00,810
"FOR MY DOLL...
AND MYSELF.
164
00:09:00,811 --> 00:09:03,813
"MY OUTFIT
WILL ALWAYS BE CLEAN,
165
00:09:03,814 --> 00:09:06,045
AND MY HAIR
WILL ALWAYS BE BRAIDED."
166
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:08,217
(girls laugh)
167
00:09:08,218 --> 00:09:10,620
ZIP IT!
168
00:09:10,621 --> 00:09:14,984
"AND I PROMISE
TO ALWAYS BE A GOOD GIRL,
169
00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:17,156
"A GREAT GIRL...
170
00:09:17,157 --> 00:09:19,629
A NATIONAL GIRL."
171
00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:21,260
(laughing)
172
00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,263
SHH.
173
00:09:28,599 --> 00:09:30,670
CAN I HELP YOU?
174
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,774
YOU'RE THE UGLIEST LADY
I'VE EVER SEEN.
175
00:09:37,778 --> 00:09:39,649
THANK YOU.
176
00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:42,953
YOU'RE WELCOME.
177
00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,088
BOO!
178
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:54,323
GO ON!
179
00:09:54,324 --> 00:09:55,325
SCAT!
180
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,872
HER NAME
IS PRISCILLA EVERSON FEENEY.
181
00:10:02,873 --> 00:10:06,035
TODAY HER HAIR IS BRAIDED
IN A DOUBLE FLIP TWIST.
182
00:10:06,036 --> 00:10:07,807
YEAH.
183
00:10:07,808 --> 00:10:10,279
BORN INTO THE MERCHANT CLASS,
184
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,012
PRISCILLA CAME OVER
ON THE "MAYFLOWER,"
185
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,915
AND AFTER
A STORMY 6-MONTH COURTSHIP,
186
00:10:15,916 --> 00:10:17,848
MARRIED AN APOTHECARY.
187
00:10:19,890 --> 00:10:23,953
THOSE APOTHECARIES
GOT ALL THE TAIL.
188
00:10:23,954 --> 00:10:26,255
HOW LONG DO YOU THINK
IT WOULD TAKE
189
00:10:26,256 --> 00:10:29,899
TO BEAT ME UNCONSCIOUS
WITH ONE OF THESE DOLLS?
190
00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:31,360
GRACIE, IT'S YOUR TURN.
191
00:10:31,361 --> 00:10:34,403
I'LL BE BACK LATER WITH CAKE.
192
00:10:34,404 --> 00:10:36,635
MAKE HER SAY "CAKE" AGAIN.
193
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:39,168
I'M SORRY, UH, WHAT IS THAT
YOU'RE BRINGING BACK?
194
00:10:39,169 --> 00:10:40,941
(enunciating) CAKE.
195
00:10:46,917 --> 00:10:48,678
(Jim) HERE SHE IS.
HERE SHE IS.
196
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:50,680
(flat voice)
THIS IS CONSTANCE HIGGENBOTTOM.
197
00:10:50,681 --> 00:10:53,122
SHE DOES STUFF.
I LOST HER ONCE.
198
00:10:53,123 --> 00:10:55,856
WE FOUND HER BEHIND THE FRIDGE.
THE END.
199
00:10:57,187 --> 00:10:59,059
WHAT THE...
200
00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,764
EXCUSE ME.
201
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,068
HEY.
202
00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:10,940
HAVING A GOOD TIME?
203
00:11:10,941 --> 00:11:13,272
NO. THIS PARTY'S STUPID.
204
00:11:13,273 --> 00:11:15,244
YOU WISH YOU WERE HERE
WITH YOUR MOMMY.
205
00:11:15,245 --> 00:11:17,947
NO. I WISH I WASN'T HERE.
206
00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:19,909
WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
207
00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:22,051
I THOUGHT THIS IS
WHAT YOU WANTED.
208
00:11:22,052 --> 00:11:25,254
YEAH, A YEAR AGO.
I WAS A KID THEN.
209
00:11:25,255 --> 00:11:27,216
WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU
SAY SOMETHIN'?
210
00:11:27,217 --> 00:11:29,218
MOM WAS SO EXCITED
ABOUT THIS,
211
00:11:29,219 --> 00:11:31,360
AND YOU SAID
WE SHOULDN'T UPSET HER.
212
00:11:31,361 --> 00:11:34,423
(sighs) CRAP.
213
00:11:34,424 --> 00:11:36,365
THERE'S A LESSON IN THIS.
214
00:11:36,366 --> 00:11:37,867
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS
215
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:41,030
WHEN YOU THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE
BEFORE YOURSELF.
216
00:11:41,031 --> 00:11:43,032
I GUESS I JUST WANTED
TO MAKE SURE
217
00:11:43,033 --> 00:11:45,835
MOMMY GOT THE PARTY
SHE WANTED.
218
00:11:45,836 --> 00:11:48,377
AH, YOU'RE A SWEET KID.
219
00:11:48,378 --> 00:11:51,010
YOU GET THAT FROM ME,
YOU KNOW.
220
00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:54,414
BUT I'M GONNA
LOOK LIKE HER, RIGHT?
221
00:11:57,087 --> 00:11:58,988
WELL, LET'S HOPE SO.
222
00:11:58,989 --> 00:12:02,792
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
223
00:12:02,793 --> 00:12:04,794
WHY DON'T WE
GIVE YOUR MOTHER
224
00:12:04,795 --> 00:12:07,757
THE TEA PARTY
THAT SHE WANTED FOR YOU?
225
00:12:07,758 --> 00:12:11,861
HERE.
PICK UP THAT TEACUP.
226
00:12:11,862 --> 00:12:13,933
OKAY, SMILE.
227
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,234
(shutter clicks)
228
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,936
THERE. LOOK AT THAT.
229
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:18,167
THERE'S A TEA PARTY.
230
00:12:18,168 --> 00:12:20,870
NOW LET'S THROW THE PARTY
THAT YOU WANTED.
231
00:12:20,871 --> 00:12:23,442
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
WE CAN DO ANYTHING.
232
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:26,115
CAN WE GO PLAY LASER TAG
OR PAINTBALL?
233
00:12:26,116 --> 00:12:28,918
WE CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT
AT A PLACE
234
00:12:28,919 --> 00:12:32,952
WE'VE ALREADY PUT A DEPOSIT
DOWN ON, LIKE HERE.
235
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:34,884
THERE'S NOTHING HERE
BUT STUPID DOLLS.
236
00:12:34,885 --> 00:12:38,287
YOU SEE STUPID DOLLS.
237
00:12:38,288 --> 00:12:43,432
I SEE BRAIDED TARGETS.
238
00:12:43,433 --> 00:12:45,865
THIS IS
CONSTANCE HIGGENBOTTOM,
239
00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:49,368
CHARGED WITH BEING STUPID
AND BETRAYING HER COUNTRY.
240
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:51,400
COMMENCE FIRING!
241
00:12:51,401 --> 00:12:54,004
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GRACIE!
242
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,146
THANKS, DAD.
243
00:12:57,147 --> 00:12:59,979
CAN I GO SHOOT UNCLE ANDY
IN HIS BIG, FAT HEAD?
244
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,550
IT'S YOUR DAY.
245
00:13:01,551 --> 00:13:03,853
AAH!
246
00:13:03,854 --> 00:13:07,417
AAH! OH, OH!
(laughs maniacally)
247
00:13:08,418 --> 00:13:11,160
COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!
248
00:13:11,161 --> 00:13:13,223
COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON! AAH!
249
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,897
I'M OUTTA AMMO!
I'M OUTTA AMMO! AAH!
250
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:26,836
(all shouting)
251
00:13:26,837 --> 00:13:31,280
AAH! OH, GRACIE, GRACIE,
WE'RE PINNED DOWN.
252
00:13:31,281 --> 00:13:32,842
I KNOW! IT'S AWESOME!
253
00:13:32,843 --> 00:13:33,983
OW! OW!
254
00:13:33,984 --> 00:13:36,115
HOW ARE YOU ON AMMO?
255
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:38,587
I'M DOWN TO ONE DART
AND ONE CUPCAKE,
256
00:13:38,588 --> 00:13:41,290
AND YOU KNOW I'M NOT
GONNA THROW THE CUPCAKE.
257
00:13:41,291 --> 00:13:43,292
THIS IS THE BEST
PARTY EVER. YEAH.
258
00:13:43,293 --> 00:13:44,593
WELL, THE PARTY'S OVER.
259
00:13:44,594 --> 00:13:47,326
NOW GIVE ME THE CUPCAKE
NICE AND EASY,
260
00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:50,599
OR I SWEAR TO GOD
I'LL DO THIS DOLL RIGHT NOW.
261
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,562
THE LAST THING YOU NEED
IS A CUPCAKE.
262
00:13:53,563 --> 00:13:56,035
GET HIM!
263
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:58,537
(screaming)
264
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,310
OHH!
265
00:14:01,311 --> 00:14:04,313
(screaming)
266
00:14:04,314 --> 00:14:06,315
GET HIM! GET HIM!
267
00:14:06,316 --> 00:14:09,379
(groaning)
268
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:15,624
(laughing maniacally)
269
00:14:15,625 --> 00:14:17,556
(Jim) OH, GET THE ENEMY!
270
00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:20,890
(cell phone rings)
271
00:14:20,891 --> 00:14:22,431
OH, WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT.
272
00:14:22,432 --> 00:14:24,333
WAIT, WAIT. OH, MY GOD.
(ring)
273
00:14:24,334 --> 00:14:26,435
(ring)
274
00:14:26,436 --> 00:14:29,598
IT'S CHERYL! CEASE FIRE!
275
00:14:29,599 --> 00:14:31,640
TEA PARTY NOISES,
TEA PARTY NOISES!
276
00:14:31,641 --> 00:14:33,342
(ring)
277
00:14:33,343 --> 00:14:35,474
(brightly) YELL-OH?
278
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:38,948
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
279
00:14:38,949 --> 00:14:40,649
UH, DELIGHTFUL, CHERYL.
280
00:14:40,650 --> 00:14:43,953
NOT A WORD I USE OFTEN,
BUT IT FITS PERFECTLY.
281
00:14:43,954 --> 00:14:45,154
HEY!
282
00:14:45,155 --> 00:14:46,916
YOU'RE GOING DOWN, LADY!
283
00:14:46,917 --> 00:14:48,257
HEY!
284
00:14:48,258 --> 00:14:49,888
WHAT WAS THAT?
285
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,121
OH, THAT?
THAT WAS A CRUMPET.
286
00:14:52,122 --> 00:14:54,123
YEAH, THEY'RE RUNNING
ALL OVER THE PLACE.
287
00:14:54,124 --> 00:14:56,125
IT'S LIKE
A PETTING ZOO HERE.
288
00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:58,267
HOW ARE THINGS AT HOME?
289
00:14:58,268 --> 00:15:01,530
OKAY. I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
I MISS YOU GUYS,
290
00:15:01,531 --> 00:15:04,903
BUT KYLE'S HAVING FUN.
291
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,405
RIGHT, KYLE?
292
00:15:06,406 --> 00:15:10,940
(clenching teeth)
YES, MOMMY.
293
00:15:10,941 --> 00:15:13,612
WELL, UH, THAT'S GREAT.
I GOTTA GET GOING, HONEY.
294
00:15:13,613 --> 00:15:18,087
NO, WAIT. UM, UM...
295
00:15:18,088 --> 00:15:20,489
M-MY FEET ARE REALLY COLD.
296
00:15:20,490 --> 00:15:23,422
OH, I'M SO SORRY, HONEY,
BUT I'M GETTING MY HAIR BRAIDED.
297
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,095
BYE.
298
00:15:26,556 --> 00:15:28,027
HOW'S MOMMY?
299
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:31,100
OH, SHE'S GREAT.
SHE WANTED ME TO SAY,
300
00:15:31,101 --> 00:15:32,701
"YOU'RE ALL GOING DOWN!"
301
00:15:32,702 --> 00:15:35,164
(screams)
302
00:15:35,165 --> 00:15:36,665
(bell ringing)
303
00:15:36,666 --> 00:15:40,109
GIRLS, GIRLS!
ORDER, ORDER, ORDER!
304
00:15:40,110 --> 00:15:42,141
GET HER!
305
00:15:42,142 --> 00:15:44,544
(screaming)
306
00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:51,550
HELLO, MRS. WHITNEY.
YOU'LL BE SAFE HERE.
307
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:54,553
THE QUESTION IS,
WILL I BE?
308
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:57,557
(screaming)
309
00:16:24,414 --> 00:16:26,415
ALL RIGHT,
WE'LL SHOW MOMMY
310
00:16:26,416 --> 00:16:28,457
THE PICTURES
OF THE FAKE PARTY,
311
00:16:28,458 --> 00:16:31,460
TELL HER HOW GREAT IT WAS,
AND THEN WE'RE OUTTA THERE.
312
00:16:31,461 --> 00:16:34,623
(Cheryl) JIM, IS THAT YOU?
313
00:16:34,624 --> 00:16:37,727
(all) YES, MOMMY.
314
00:16:39,729 --> 00:16:41,070
HEY!
315
00:16:41,071 --> 00:16:42,231
HI!
316
00:16:42,232 --> 00:16:45,074
HEY, GUYS.
SO HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
317
00:16:45,075 --> 00:16:48,737
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HORMONES ARE,
BUT I'M NEVER GETTING PREGNANT.
318
00:16:48,738 --> 00:16:52,712
OH. HOW WAS YOUR PARTY?
TELL ME EVERYTHING.
319
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:59,448
IT WAS GREAT.
HERE'S... HERE'S A PICTURE.
320
00:16:59,449 --> 00:17:01,350
(gasps)
SHE'S KIND OF WORN OUT,
321
00:17:01,351 --> 00:17:04,353
SO WHY DON'T WE JUST
GET HER TO BED NOW?
322
00:17:04,354 --> 00:17:06,355
OH, MY GOD, SO HAPPY.
323
00:17:06,356 --> 00:17:07,426
(Jim) BEDTIME.
324
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:11,160
SO VERY, VERY HAPPY.
(sobbing)
325
00:17:11,161 --> 00:17:13,262
CHERYL, CHERYL,
WHAT'S THE MATTER? CHERYL!
326
00:17:13,263 --> 00:17:18,207
OH, IT WAS THE BEST PARTY EVER,
AND I MISSED IT.
327
00:17:18,208 --> 00:17:20,139
CODE FIVE, CODE FIVE.
GET DOWNSTAIRS.
328
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,811
(sobbing)
329
00:17:22,812 --> 00:17:26,215
CHERYL, CHERYL, CHERYL,
LOOK AT ME. CHERYL, LOOK AT ME.
330
00:17:26,216 --> 00:17:29,818
CHERYL...
IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.
331
00:17:29,819 --> 00:17:33,122
(wails) IT'S NOT OKAY!
332
00:17:33,123 --> 00:17:38,227
IT WAS THE PERFECT PARTY,
AND I WASN'T EVEN THERE.
333
00:17:38,228 --> 00:17:41,790
(sighs) ALL RIGHT, IT WASN'T
THE PERFECT PARTY, ALL RIGHT?
334
00:17:41,791 --> 00:17:43,732
I SWEAR! THE FACT IS,
335
00:17:43,733 --> 00:17:45,734
NATIONAL GIRL STORE
THREW US OUT,
336
00:17:45,735 --> 00:17:49,169
BANNED US FOR LIFE,
AND WE'LL PROBABLY GET SUED!
337
00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:52,402
ISN'T THAT GREAT?
338
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:55,575
WHAT?
339
00:17:56,806 --> 00:17:59,408
WHAT'D YOU DO,
STEAL A CUPCAKE?
340
00:17:59,409 --> 00:18:00,709
NO.
341
00:18:00,710 --> 00:18:03,182
DID YOU SNEAK IN BEER?
OH, MY GOD.
342
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,083
WHAT?
343
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:08,487
YOUR HARMONICA. (gasps)
DID YOU PLAY YOUR HARMONICA?
344
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,659
CHERYL.
345
00:18:10,660 --> 00:18:11,720
POOR GRACIE.
346
00:18:11,721 --> 00:18:13,422
NOT POOR GRACIE!
347
00:18:13,423 --> 00:18:15,724
AND I'M PRETTY HOT
ON THE HARMONICA!
348
00:18:15,725 --> 00:18:20,269
THAT LITTLE GIRL HAS DREAMED
ABOUT THAT PARTY ALL YEAR,
349
00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:22,100
AND YOU RUINED IT!
350
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,832
CHERYL, CHERYL,
HERE'S THE GOOD NEWS.
351
00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:26,335
THE GOOD NEWS IS...
IS SHE DIDN'T WANT THAT PARTY.
352
00:18:26,336 --> 00:18:28,337
I GAVE HER A BETTER ONE.
353
00:18:28,338 --> 00:18:31,109
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT,
SHE DIDN'T WANT THAT PARTY?
354
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,612
SHE DIDN'T WANT THAT PARTY,
HONEST TO GOD.
355
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,615
SHE LIKED THIS PARTY. LOOK,
LOOK, LOOK, LET ME SHOW YOU.
356
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,387
(scoffs)
LOOK, RIGHT HERE. OKAY.
357
00:18:38,388 --> 00:18:41,390
ALL RIGHT, YOU SEE THAT?
358
00:18:41,391 --> 00:18:44,393
OKAY, THAT'S GRACIE
ASSASSINATING PRISCILLA FEENEY.
359
00:18:44,394 --> 00:18:45,694
WHAT?
360
00:18:45,695 --> 00:18:49,698
SHE IS A GREAT SHOT.
SHE GETS THAT FROM YOU, BABY.
361
00:18:49,699 --> 00:18:54,703
AND THERE IS RUBY AND GRACIE
MOWING DOWN TABITHA.
362
00:18:54,704 --> 00:18:56,705
AND THERE IS
TABITHA'S MOTHER
363
00:18:56,706 --> 00:18:59,708
PICKING HER UP EARLY
FROM THE PARTY. (scoffs)
364
00:18:59,709 --> 00:19:02,711
THERE'S ME WITH
TWO CUPCAKES IN MY MOUTH.
365
00:19:02,712 --> 00:19:05,514
SEE, A GOOD TIME
WAS HAD BY ALL.
366
00:19:05,515 --> 00:19:06,875
WHAT'S THAT?
367
00:19:06,876 --> 00:19:08,577
(beeps)
368
00:19:08,578 --> 00:19:11,650
OH, IT LOOKS LIKE
AN UPSKIRT OF MRS. WHITNEY.
369
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,183
DAMN IT, ANDY!
(beeping)
370
00:19:14,184 --> 00:19:17,726
SO THAT... THAT'S REALLY
WHAT GRACIE WANTED?
371
00:19:17,727 --> 00:19:19,358
YES, HONEY.
372
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,190
YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND,
373
00:19:21,191 --> 00:19:23,692
SHE GREW
OUT OF THOSE DOLLS.
374
00:19:23,693 --> 00:19:26,695
SHE SAID THIS WAS
THE BEST PARTY EVER...
375
00:19:26,696 --> 00:19:28,767
A HAPPY DAY.
376
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:29,838
(sobbing)
377
00:19:29,839 --> 00:19:31,800
OH, CHERYL.
378
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:34,343
COME ON, CHERYL.
379
00:19:34,344 --> 00:19:37,175
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
MY OWN DAUGHTER.
380
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:41,380
OH. YOU KNOW WHAT, CHERYL?
381
00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,252
YOU REALLY ARE DOWN.
382
00:19:43,253 --> 00:19:47,956
(playing blues riff)
383
00:19:47,957 --> 00:19:49,958
STOP IT!
384
00:19:49,959 --> 00:19:52,291
AAH!
385
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:54,623
MY FAMILY IS SLIPPING
AWAY FROM ME,
386
00:19:54,624 --> 00:19:56,625
AND IT'S ONLY
GONNA GET WORSE.
387
00:19:56,626 --> 00:19:58,627
CHERYL,
I KNOW YOU FEEL ALONE.
388
00:19:58,628 --> 00:19:59,968
(sighs)
389
00:19:59,969 --> 00:20:02,501
BUT YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND,
390
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:03,802
EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE SWIMMING
391
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:06,635
IN THAT HORMONAL SOUP
IN YOUR HEAD,
392
00:20:06,636 --> 00:20:10,679
YOU GOTTA KNOW THAT YOU ARE
THE CENTER OF THIS FAMILY.
393
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:11,980
I AM?
394
00:20:11,981 --> 00:20:14,483
YES.
395
00:20:14,484 --> 00:20:16,645
CHERYL,
YOU ALWAYS HAVE BEEN,
396
00:20:16,646 --> 00:20:19,418
AND WE'VE ALWAYS
BEEN THERE FOR YOU.
397
00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:23,652
AW. (crying)
398
00:20:23,653 --> 00:20:26,655
CHERYL,
WHY ARE YOU CRYING NOW?
399
00:20:26,656 --> 00:20:30,599
WHAT IS THIS... IS THIS
A HAPPY, SAD OR CRAZY CRY?
400
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:33,602
OH,
IT'S KIND OF A MIXTURE.
401
00:20:33,603 --> 00:20:35,604
YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST...
402
00:20:35,605 --> 00:20:38,307
IT'S ONLY GONNA BE
A FEW MORE MONTHS NOW
403
00:20:38,308 --> 00:20:41,470
THAT THIS FAMILY
IS JUST THE FIVE OF US.
404
00:20:41,471 --> 00:20:44,813
I'M MISSING IT.
405
00:20:44,814 --> 00:20:47,817
(sobbing)
406
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,650
CHERYL MABEL...
407
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,482
(sniffles)
408
00:20:53,483 --> 00:20:55,984
YOU'RE NOT
GONNA MISS ANYTHING.
409
00:20:55,985 --> 00:20:58,927
OKAY.
410
00:20:58,928 --> 00:21:00,629
MAMA'S THE QUEEN,
411
00:21:00,630 --> 00:21:04,663
AND ANDY AND I ARE GONNA
LEAD A CHARGE ON THE CASTLE.
412
00:21:04,664 --> 00:21:07,035
AW, YOU GUYS, THANK YOU.
GOT IT?
413
00:21:07,036 --> 00:21:09,668
IT IS SO NICE
TO NOT FEEL ISOLATED.
414
00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,540
OKAY.
415
00:21:11,541 --> 00:21:12,841
(crying)
416
00:21:12,842 --> 00:21:14,743
CHERYL.
417
00:21:14,744 --> 00:21:18,707
CHERYL, YOU CAN'T CRY
DURING AN ATTACK.
418
00:21:18,708 --> 00:21:19,878
WHAT'S WRONG?
419
00:21:19,879 --> 00:21:22,280
I JUST... I JUST...
420
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,582
I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT...
421
00:21:23,583 --> 00:21:25,684
YOU WOULD FALL FOR THAT.
422
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:30,719
(all screaming
and shouting indistinctly)
423
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,723
OW, OW, OW!
26772
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