All language subtitles for According to Jim S07E07 - Period Peace (2008) WEB-DL 1080p.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,701 --> 00:00:03,703 (whirring) 2 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:05,205 COME ON. 3 00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:06,706 WHAT THE HELL? 4 00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,208 (turns vacuum off) 5 00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:12,212 HEY, WHEN YOU'RE DONE OVER HERE, MY PLACE IS A MESS. 6 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:15,315 VERY FUNNY. THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS THING. 7 00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:17,317 IT WON'T SUCK ANYTHING UP. 8 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:20,320 AH, COULD BE A COUPLE THINGS. IT'S PROBABLY THE BAG. 9 00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,292 YEAH, WHEN IT FILLS UP, 10 00:00:22,293 --> 00:00:23,793 THE SUCKING CAPACITY'S DIMINISHED. 11 00:00:23,794 --> 00:00:25,455 THAT'S JUST BASIC VACUUM SCIENCE. 12 00:00:25,456 --> 00:00:28,458 LET ME TAKE A LOOK. WHAT, YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS STUFF? 13 00:00:28,459 --> 00:00:31,030 AH, YEAH, I READ A LOT OF MANUALS... 14 00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:34,134 VACUUM CLEANERS, PHONE CHARGERS, D.V.R.s... KIND OF A HOBBY. 15 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:37,067 YOU'RE AN ODD LITTLE GUY, AREN'T YOU? 16 00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:39,069 I'VE BEEN TOLD SO. OH, ALL RIGHT. 17 00:00:39,070 --> 00:00:41,272 JUST PRESS THAT BUTTON. SHOULD POP RIGHT OPEN. 18 00:00:48,819 --> 00:00:52,182 OH. 19 00:00:52,183 --> 00:00:54,124 YEAH. 20 00:00:54,125 --> 00:00:56,627 (clears throat) 21 00:01:00,091 --> 00:01:03,833 YOU HAVE THE M-5 BAGLESS WITH THE EXPULSION CARTRIDGE. 22 00:01:03,834 --> 00:01:06,497 I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT TO HAPPEN. (laughs) 23 00:01:07,798 --> 00:01:11,671 (whirring) 24 00:01:11,672 --> 00:01:13,173 (gasps) 25 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:16,846 OH! AH! AH! 26 00:01:16,847 --> 00:01:19,179 DID YOU EXPECT THAT? 27 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,810 AAH! 28 00:01:20,811 --> 00:01:23,814 ♪♪♪ 29 00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:31,821 HI, HONEY. YEAH, IT'S ME. 30 00:01:31,822 --> 00:01:34,524 WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WHAT IS IT NOW?" 31 00:01:34,525 --> 00:01:36,526 I AM REALLY HURT BY THAT. 32 00:01:36,527 --> 00:01:38,528 I WAS CALLING JUST TO SAY THAT... 33 00:01:38,529 --> 00:01:41,701 THAT I LOVE YOU, BABY. 34 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:44,674 YEAH, AND I WANTED TO KNOW, H-HOW'S YOUR MOM DOING? 35 00:01:44,675 --> 00:01:46,176 YEAH, YEAH, GREAT. 36 00:01:46,177 --> 00:01:49,179 LISTEN, WHILE I GOT YOU ON THE PHONE, I-I-I, UH... 37 00:01:49,180 --> 00:01:52,182 IT OCCURS TO ME THAT I JUST CAN'T FIND THE WAFFLE IRON. 38 00:01:52,183 --> 00:01:54,514 FINE, I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW. 39 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,815 HOW COULD SHE SAY, 40 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:59,450 "'WHERE'S THE WAFFLE IRON' IS A STUPID QUESTION?" 41 00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:07,257 HERE IT IS. 42 00:02:07,258 --> 00:02:09,259 ALL RIGHT, KIDS, COME ON DOWN. 43 00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:11,401 (Ruby) I HATE YOU, GRACIE! (door slams) 44 00:02:11,402 --> 00:02:13,263 (Gracie) YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS! (door slams) 45 00:02:13,264 --> 00:02:15,265 YOU KNOW WHAT? 46 00:02:15,266 --> 00:02:17,767 THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR THE LAST THREE DAYS. 47 00:02:17,768 --> 00:02:19,909 THESE TWO ARE SO CRABBY, IT'S LIKE HAVING 48 00:02:19,910 --> 00:02:22,912 ONE ADULT WOMAN HERE. JIM, COME ON. I GREW UP WITH TWO SISTERS. 49 00:02:22,913 --> 00:02:25,415 ONE PROBABLY SLEPT WITH THE OTHER ONE'S BOYFRIEND. 50 00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:26,876 (Gracie) MOVE! 51 00:02:26,877 --> 00:02:29,879 (Ruby) WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME DOWN THE STAIRS? COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 52 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:33,152 KNOCK IT OFF. COME UP HERE. (Gracie) BECAUSE I WANT TO GET DOWN! 53 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,884 WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THE TWO OF YOU? 54 00:02:34,885 --> 00:02:36,886 NOTHING. NOTHING, AND SHE STARTED IT. 55 00:02:36,887 --> 00:02:39,759 I DID NOT! YES, YOU DID! 56 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,261 HEY, HEY, HEY... 57 00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:43,263 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE NICE ONE, RIGHT? 58 00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,695 OKAY, JIM, UNLESS THOSE "AFTER SCHOOL SPECIALS" 59 00:02:45,696 --> 00:02:47,697 LIED TO ME WHEN I WAS A KID, 60 00:02:47,698 --> 00:02:50,200 I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THIS IS ABOUT. 61 00:02:50,201 --> 00:02:51,671 WHAT? 62 00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,574 DRUGS OR BULIMIA. 63 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:57,677 I DON'T KNOW, ANDY, THIS SOUNDS PRETTY SERIOUS. 64 00:02:57,678 --> 00:02:59,679 I-I GOTTA FIX THIS THING. 65 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,681 YEAH, GOOD IDEA. CALL CHERYL. 66 00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:03,713 NO, I'M NOT GONNA CALL CHERYL. 67 00:03:03,714 --> 00:03:06,185 COME ON, I CAN FIX TWO GIRLS FIGHTING. 68 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:09,188 I MEAN, I FOUND THE WAFFLE IRON, DIDN'T I? 69 00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,190 GOOD POINT, BUT THEY'RE NOT TALKING TO YOU. 70 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:14,524 HOW ARE YOU GONNA FIGURE OUT WHAT THEY'RE FIGHTING ABOUT? 71 00:03:14,525 --> 00:03:15,825 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 72 00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:18,428 SANTA GAVE THEM DIARIES FOR A REASON. 73 00:03:18,429 --> 00:03:20,199 I LIKE SANTA. 74 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,403 YEAH, YOU DO. 75 00:03:25,736 --> 00:03:28,238 ALL RIGHT, ANDY, IF WE WERE GIRLS, 76 00:03:28,239 --> 00:03:30,280 WHERE WOULD WE HIDE OUR DIARIES? 77 00:03:30,281 --> 00:03:33,283 JIM, IF YOU WANT TO GET INSIDE THE MIND OF A YOUNG GIRL, 78 00:03:33,284 --> 00:03:36,215 YOU HAVE TO BECOME ONE, SO LET'S ROLE-PLAY. 79 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:39,218 NOW, ANDY... I'LL BE MARCI... NO, NO, NO, NO... MARCIELLA... 80 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,720 ALL RIGHT. 81 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,722 THE SWEET BUT SHY SEVENTH GRADER 82 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,224 WHO LIKES TO SET THINGS ON FIRE. 83 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:49,499 AND YOU, YOU, YOU'RE ELEANORE, THE GIRL EVERYONE HATES. 84 00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:53,564 LOOK! JUST LOOK FOR IT. 85 00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:59,008 VOILá. 86 00:03:59,009 --> 00:04:00,910 OH. RIGHT HERE. 87 00:04:00,911 --> 00:04:02,872 ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO YOU WANT... 88 00:04:02,873 --> 00:04:04,874 TALL AND SULLEN OR SHORT AND SASSY? 89 00:04:04,875 --> 00:04:06,376 GIVE ME RUBY. 90 00:04:06,377 --> 00:04:08,878 I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW GRACIE'S MIND WORKS. 91 00:04:08,879 --> 00:04:10,380 ALL RIGHT. 92 00:04:10,381 --> 00:04:13,383 HEY-OH, I GOT A SHOUT-OUT. 93 00:04:13,384 --> 00:04:16,886 "THIS AFTERNOON, UNCLE ANDY CAME OVER." 94 00:04:16,887 --> 00:04:19,729 THAT'S ME. I DID THAT. YEAH, I KNOW WHO IT IS. 95 00:04:19,730 --> 00:04:22,031 "HE ATE A WHOLE BAG OF JELLY BEANS, 96 00:04:22,032 --> 00:04:24,734 "THEN PASSED OUT ON OUR COUCH. 97 00:04:24,735 --> 00:04:27,538 HE SMELLS LIKE A STRIP CLUB AND SADNESS." 98 00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:31,571 MAYBE READING THESE ISN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA, JIM. 99 00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:33,573 ANDY, DON'T THROW OUT THIS DIARY. 100 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:36,906 HOW AM I GONNA FIND OUT WHAT MY KIDS ARE UP TO? UH, YOU COULD TALK TO HER. 101 00:04:36,907 --> 00:04:39,879 YEAH, BUT SHE GOES ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON. 102 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,713 (draws in deep breath) 103 00:04:43,714 --> 00:04:45,485 OH, MY GOD. 104 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,517 WHAT IS IT? 105 00:04:47,518 --> 00:04:51,361 IT'S A... WRAPPER... 106 00:04:51,362 --> 00:04:53,023 OF A MAXI PAD. 107 00:04:55,025 --> 00:04:57,667 MY LITTLE RUBY IS BECOMING A WOMAN. 108 00:04:57,668 --> 00:04:59,969 JIM, JIM, CALM DOWN. 109 00:04:59,970 --> 00:05:03,973 THIS IS A WRAPPER FOR AN ICE CREAM SANDWICH. 110 00:05:03,974 --> 00:05:06,506 THANK GOD. YEAH. 111 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,979 THIS IS A MAXI PAD WRAPPER. 112 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,987 CHERYL, CHERYL, CHERYL, 113 00:05:17,988 --> 00:05:20,690 CHERYL, CHERYL, I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. 114 00:05:20,691 --> 00:05:23,723 UH, UH... I NEED TO TALK YOU ABOUT SOME, UH... STUFF, 115 00:05:23,724 --> 00:05:28,698 SOME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE, EMBARRASSING STUFF. 116 00:05:28,699 --> 00:05:30,730 UH, JIM, THE PLUNGER'S UNDER THE SINK. 117 00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:32,862 NO, CHERYL, IT'S NOT THAT. 118 00:05:32,863 --> 00:05:35,004 ALTHOUGH THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW. 119 00:05:35,005 --> 00:05:37,707 LOOK, HONEY, YOU TOLD ME IF I CAME DOWN HERE 120 00:05:37,708 --> 00:05:40,009 TO TAKE CARE OF MY MOM, YOU COULD HANDLE THE HOUSE. 121 00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:42,872 I CAN'T DEAL WITH EVERY LITTLE PROBLEM THAT COMES UP. 122 00:05:42,873 --> 00:05:44,874 CHERYL, THIS IS NOT A LITTLE PROBLEM! 123 00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:48,047 THIS IS BIG. THIS IS HUGE. THIS IS HONKING. 124 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,019 YOU'RE A GROWN MAN. HANDLE IT. 125 00:05:50,020 --> 00:05:52,882 LOOK, I'VE REALLY GOT TO GO GET MY MOM TO THE DOCTOR. 126 00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:54,884 I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW, OKAY? I LOVE YOU. 127 00:05:54,885 --> 00:05:57,427 CHERYL, DON'T HANG UP ON ME! 128 00:05:57,428 --> 00:05:59,659 (grunts) 129 00:05:59,660 --> 00:06:03,633 SO DID SHE TELL YOU HOW TO PUT THE KIBOSH ON RUBY'S PERIOD? 130 00:06:03,634 --> 00:06:06,496 WE ARE ON OUR OWN, MY FRIEND. 131 00:06:06,497 --> 00:06:08,868 OH, HOW WE HANDLE THIS, JIM, 132 00:06:08,869 --> 00:06:12,442 WILL AFFECT RUBY FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE. 133 00:06:12,443 --> 00:06:15,405 YEAH. 134 00:06:15,406 --> 00:06:17,408 (slurps) 135 00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:20,880 AHH. 136 00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:22,882 BUT LUCKILY FOR HER, 137 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,915 SHE'S GOT TWO KNOWLEDGEABLE MEN OF THE WORLD 138 00:06:25,916 --> 00:06:29,118 HERE TO HELP HER. 139 00:06:29,119 --> 00:06:32,763 SHE'S GONNA NEED MORE THAN ONE OF THESE, RIGHT? 140 00:06:36,727 --> 00:06:39,899 THERE IT IS. AISLE NINE. 141 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,031 NO-MAN'S-LAND. 142 00:06:42,032 --> 00:06:45,404 OH, NO... AISLE NINE. 143 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,138 NO! LET'S GO, LET'S GO. 144 00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:55,585 (sighs) 145 00:06:55,586 --> 00:06:56,886 ALL RIGHT. 146 00:06:56,887 --> 00:06:58,588 WELL, CHERYL'S NOT HERE, 147 00:06:58,589 --> 00:07:03,052 SO I JUST HAVE TO... MAN UP AND BE A WOMAN. 148 00:07:03,053 --> 00:07:04,994 AFTER YOU, MY FRIEND. 149 00:07:04,995 --> 00:07:07,697 NO... OH, HELL, NO. I'M NOT GOING IN THERE. 150 00:07:07,698 --> 00:07:10,700 WELL, COME ON... NO, THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT DARKNESS LURKS 151 00:07:10,701 --> 00:07:12,732 AT THE HEART OF AISLE NINE. COME ON, GROW UP. 152 00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:15,004 NO, NOT MOVING. COME ON, GET IN TOUCH WITH YOUR FEMININE SIDE. 153 00:07:15,005 --> 00:07:17,006 NO. JIM! COME ON, GET IN THERE. GET... 154 00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:18,708 (both grunting) 155 00:07:18,709 --> 00:07:20,710 COME ON, COME ON! GET IN THERE! 156 00:07:20,711 --> 00:07:22,011 I'M SICK OF THIS! 157 00:07:22,012 --> 00:07:24,915 I'M SICK OF... I'M SICK OF YOU! 158 00:07:27,878 --> 00:07:29,178 (laughs) HEY. HI. 159 00:07:29,179 --> 00:07:30,650 HI. 160 00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:33,924 SO, UH, THAT TIME OF THE MONTH, HUH? 161 00:07:38,989 --> 00:07:40,690 OW. WHAT? 162 00:07:40,691 --> 00:07:42,992 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 163 00:07:42,993 --> 00:07:45,665 WOW. 164 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,897 I CAN'T PRONOUNCE HALF THESE WORDS. 165 00:07:47,898 --> 00:07:49,599 WELL, TURN THE BOX. 166 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,601 IT GOES FROM SPANISH TO ENGLISH. 167 00:07:51,602 --> 00:07:53,042 OH. 168 00:07:53,043 --> 00:07:56,105 SO, WH-WHAT DO WE DO? WHICH ONE DO WE PICK? 169 00:07:56,106 --> 00:07:57,807 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 170 00:07:57,808 --> 00:08:00,110 YOU CAN'T BE TOO SAFE. 171 00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:23,833 WE MAY HAVE GONE A LITTLE OVERBOARD. 172 00:08:23,834 --> 00:08:25,835 WELL, I JUST WANT RUBY TO KNOW 173 00:08:25,836 --> 00:08:27,837 THAT I CARE ABOUT HER, YOU KNOW? 174 00:08:27,838 --> 00:08:30,610 AND IF THESE THINGS ARE ANYTHING LIKE SHOES, 175 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,612 SHE'S GONNA WANT A VARIETY. 176 00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:35,585 OH, LOOK AT THIS... IT SAYS HERE THAT IN MANY CULTURES, 177 00:08:35,586 --> 00:08:38,818 YOU THROW A YOUNG LADY A PARTY TO WELCOME HER INTO WOMANHOOD. 178 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,950 OH, KIND OF LIKE A FRATERNITY INITIATION, HUH? 179 00:08:40,951 --> 00:08:43,923 OH, HEY, THIS COMPANY SELLS A CEREMONIAL KIT 180 00:08:43,924 --> 00:08:46,255 WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO... AND I QUOTE... 181 00:08:46,256 --> 00:08:49,659 "EASE THE TRANSITION FROM GIRL TO WOMAN." 182 00:08:49,660 --> 00:08:51,661 ANDY, THAT SOUNDS PERFECT. 183 00:08:51,662 --> 00:08:54,163 HEY, SEE IF THEY GOT ONE THERE FOR BOYS. 184 00:08:54,164 --> 00:08:57,267 I NEED ONE FOR KYLE... "WHY DOES MY WINKY TINGLE?" 185 00:08:58,809 --> 00:09:00,810 (Ruby) QUIT BEING SUCH A JERK! 186 00:09:00,811 --> 00:09:02,572 (Gracie) YOU'RE THE JERK! 187 00:09:02,573 --> 00:09:04,073 (door slams) 188 00:09:04,074 --> 00:09:06,576 OH, IF SOMEONE TALKED TO MARCIELLA LIKE THAT, 189 00:09:06,577 --> 00:09:08,318 SHE'D BURN 'EM DOWN. 190 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,881 I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF THIS. 191 00:09:11,882 --> 00:09:14,323 I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN! YEAH, WELL, GUESS WHAT? I WAS. 192 00:09:14,324 --> 00:09:17,857 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. NOW JUST HOLD UP HERE. 193 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,559 I THINK I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON. 194 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,633 WHATEVER. YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. 195 00:09:24,595 --> 00:09:28,037 GRACIE, YOU GOTTA CUT YOUR SISTER A LITTLE BREAK. 196 00:09:28,038 --> 00:09:30,199 WHY? 197 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:31,701 COME HERE. 198 00:09:31,702 --> 00:09:35,304 YOU KNOW... WELL, IT'S LIKE THIS. 199 00:09:35,305 --> 00:09:37,306 UM, THERE'S A REASON 200 00:09:37,307 --> 00:09:40,279 THAT YOUR SISTER'S BEEN IMPOSSIBLE TO DEAL WITH LATELY. 201 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:43,282 I MEAN, SHE'S JUST A LITTLE BIT OLDER THAN YOU, 202 00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:49,258 AND SHE'S STARTING HER... UH... 203 00:09:49,259 --> 00:09:50,820 UH... 204 00:09:50,821 --> 00:09:53,923 THING. 205 00:09:53,924 --> 00:09:56,225 HER PERIOD. 206 00:09:56,226 --> 00:09:59,098 (breathes in sharply) 207 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,599 ALL RIGHT, 208 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,602 IF YOU WANT TO BE TECHNICAL AND ICKY ABOUT IT, YEAH. 209 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,274 NOW YOUR MOM'S ON VACATION, 210 00:10:05,275 --> 00:10:08,277 AND SO YOUR UNCLE ANDY AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE NICE 211 00:10:08,278 --> 00:10:10,640 IF WE THREW HER A LITTLE PARTY, YOU KNOW, 212 00:10:10,641 --> 00:10:13,142 A NICE LITTLE PARTY, YOU KNOW, AS KIND OF A... 213 00:10:13,143 --> 00:10:14,644 THE FRATERNITY OF... 214 00:10:14,645 --> 00:10:19,318 OF GIRLS BECOMING WOMEN PARTY. 215 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:23,252 DAD, RUBY DIDN'T GET HER PERIOD. 216 00:10:23,253 --> 00:10:24,925 I DID. 217 00:10:36,266 --> 00:10:39,409 OH. 218 00:10:41,271 --> 00:10:44,244 HA HA. 219 00:10:47,117 --> 00:10:50,349 I WASN'T PREPARED FOR THIS. 220 00:10:50,350 --> 00:10:52,351 (Ruby) GRACIE, GET YOUR STUPID SHOES 221 00:10:52,352 --> 00:10:55,254 OFF MY SIDE OF THE STUPID ROOM! 222 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,256 YOU'RE STUPID! DON'T YOU TALK... WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, 223 00:10:57,257 --> 00:11:00,760 WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. 224 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,762 WAIT A MINUTE. I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS, OKAY? 225 00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,263 I'M GONNA TELL RUBY 226 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,295 WHY YOU'VE BEEN SO IMPOSSIBLE TO DEAL WITH LATELY, ALL RIGHT? 227 00:11:06,296 --> 00:11:08,998 AND... AND MEANWHILE, YOU GO IN THE KITCHEN, 228 00:11:08,999 --> 00:11:12,001 AND UNCLE ANDY, UH, IS GONNA HELP YOU KICK SOME TIRES 229 00:11:12,002 --> 00:11:14,303 ON SOME BRANDS... OF... STUFF, 230 00:11:14,304 --> 00:11:16,675 BECAUSE... 231 00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:20,880 YOU KNOW, YOU'RE STARTING YOUR, UH... THING. 232 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:21,951 PERIOD. 233 00:11:21,952 --> 00:11:25,284 I CAN SAY IT! 234 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,887 PERIOD, PERIOD, PERIOD, PERIOD! 235 00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:31,120 THING, THING, THING! 236 00:11:31,121 --> 00:11:35,065 OH, YOU GOT IT, ALL RIGHT. 237 00:11:40,430 --> 00:11:42,131 HEY, RUBY. 238 00:11:42,132 --> 00:11:43,803 WHAT DO YOU WANT? 239 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:47,306 WELL, I-I THINK I KNOW WHY YOU'RE MAD. 240 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:48,808 NO, YOU DON'T. 241 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,810 YEAH, YEAH, I KNOW WHY 242 00:11:50,811 --> 00:11:53,112 YOUR SISTER HAS BEEN DRIVING YOU CRAZY, 243 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,114 YOU WANT TO TEAR HER HEAD OFF. 244 00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,485 I GET IT, BELIEVE ME. 245 00:11:56,486 --> 00:11:59,488 I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH IT WITH YOUR MOTHER FOR YEARS. 246 00:11:59,489 --> 00:12:01,450 BUT YOU CAN'T BLAME IT ON HER, 247 00:12:01,451 --> 00:12:03,452 'CAUSE SHE'S... YOU KNOW, 248 00:12:03,453 --> 00:12:06,155 SHE STARTED HER... HER THING. 249 00:12:06,156 --> 00:12:08,328 YOU MEAN HER PERIOD. 250 00:12:12,302 --> 00:12:15,304 IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR IT? 251 00:12:15,305 --> 00:12:17,967 PERIOD. YES, SHE STARTED HER PERIOD. 252 00:12:17,968 --> 00:12:21,170 COME ON, YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. 253 00:12:21,171 --> 00:12:24,314 ACTUALLY, I DON'T. I HAVEN'T GOTTEN MINE YET. 254 00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:28,818 OH. 255 00:12:28,819 --> 00:12:31,150 HUH. 256 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,453 WELL, I WASN'T PREPARED FOR THAT. 257 00:12:36,326 --> 00:12:39,328 HEY, RUBY, YOU... YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY 258 00:12:39,329 --> 00:12:42,261 ABOUT NOT GETTING YOUR... YOUR THING YET. 259 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,795 I MEAN, IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU ANY LESS OF A WOMAN. 260 00:12:45,796 --> 00:12:48,799 IT ACTUALLY MAKES YOU MORE OF A LITTLE GIRL. 261 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,272 COME ON, HONEY. YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT? 262 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:57,947 WITH YOU? GOD, NO. 263 00:12:57,948 --> 00:12:59,979 ARE YOU SURE? 264 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,981 BECAUSE MAYBE WE CAN FIGURE SOMETHING OUT 265 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:04,283 TO KINDA HELP IT ALONG, YOU KNOW, 266 00:13:04,284 --> 00:13:07,316 LIKE YOU DO WITH PREGNANT WOMEN. 267 00:13:07,317 --> 00:13:10,820 HAVE YOU TRIED EATING STEAK? 268 00:13:10,821 --> 00:13:12,822 JUMPING ROPE? 269 00:13:12,823 --> 00:13:14,323 HANGING OUT WITH OLDER GIRLS? 270 00:13:14,324 --> 00:13:16,325 YOU... YOU CAN DRINK FROM THEIR CUP 271 00:13:16,326 --> 00:13:19,068 AND MAYBE THEIR HORMONES'LL RUB OFF ON YOU. 272 00:13:19,069 --> 00:13:22,501 I WILL DO ANYTHING TO STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW. 273 00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,203 WELL... (laughs) 274 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,206 MY CAR'S PRETTY DIRTY. 275 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,813 ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE NOT STARTING IT? 276 00:13:41,391 --> 00:13:44,153 SO, UH, YOU GOT THIS STUFF HERE. 277 00:13:44,154 --> 00:13:46,455 UM, AND, UM... 278 00:13:46,456 --> 00:13:48,457 I THINK THIS THING, UH, 279 00:13:48,458 --> 00:13:50,359 OKAY, IT GOES LIKE THAT. 280 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,361 AND, UM, WHOO... 281 00:13:52,362 --> 00:13:55,304 OKAY, THIS MUST GO OVER THE SHOULDER. 282 00:13:55,305 --> 00:13:57,006 MAYBE, UH... 283 00:13:57,007 --> 00:14:00,309 HEY, CAN YOU JUST... SNAP AT THE BOTTOM LIKE A BODICE. 284 00:14:00,310 --> 00:14:03,012 OKAY, STOP. CAN YOU JUST PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE? 285 00:14:03,013 --> 00:14:05,514 THEY SHOWED US HOW TO USE THIS STUFF AT SCHOOL. 286 00:14:05,515 --> 00:14:07,476 CAN YOU TEACH IT TO ME, THEN? 287 00:14:07,477 --> 00:14:11,620 HEY. SO, UH... 288 00:14:11,621 --> 00:14:13,852 HOW'S IT GOING? 289 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,354 DAD? YES. 290 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,986 I'VE BEEN THINKING. MM-HMM. 291 00:14:16,987 --> 00:14:19,288 I WANT A PARTY. WHAT? 292 00:14:19,289 --> 00:14:22,331 WELL, YOU WERE GOING TO GIVE RUBY ONE, SO I WANT ONE. 293 00:14:22,332 --> 00:14:24,633 HONEY, I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 294 00:14:24,634 --> 00:14:26,635 I MEAN, RUBY'S GONNA GET REALLY UPSET. 295 00:14:26,636 --> 00:14:30,069 DO YOU WANT TO SEE UPSET? 296 00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:34,343 DO YOU WANT TO SEE UPSET?! 297 00:14:34,344 --> 00:14:38,007 OH, NO, JIM, SHE'S HULKING OUT. 298 00:14:38,008 --> 00:14:40,009 I WILL SHOW YOU UPSET! 299 00:14:40,010 --> 00:14:42,011 GIVE HER SOME CHOCOLATE. GIVE HER SOME CHOCOLATE. 300 00:14:42,012 --> 00:14:44,313 I ATE IT IN THE CAR. 301 00:14:44,314 --> 00:14:45,584 RUN. DO YOU WANT... (screams) 302 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,586 OW! OKAY, OKAY, OKAY. WE'RE GONNA HAVE A PARTY. 303 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:49,588 WE'RE GONNA HAVE THE PARTY. I WANT THAT PARTY NOW! 304 00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,962 YOU'RE GONNA HAVE IT! WE'RE GONNA HAVE IT! 305 00:14:57,667 --> 00:15:02,031 WELCOME TO GRACIE'S FIRST MOON PARTY. 306 00:15:02,032 --> 00:15:03,332 WELCOME, SISTERS, WELCOME. 307 00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:05,674 (strums) 308 00:15:05,675 --> 00:15:07,506 THANK YOU, ANDY. 309 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:10,009 WELL, TYPICALLY, THE ONLY GUESTS THAT ARE INVITED 310 00:15:10,010 --> 00:15:12,011 TO A CELEBRATION LIKE THIS 311 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:17,016 ARE WOMEN WHO'VE ALREADY... HAD THEIR... THING. 312 00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:20,549 BUT THIS WAS SUCH SHORT NOTICE THAT I HAD TO IMPROVISE. 313 00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:27,556 SO LYNN HERE IS GRACIE'S GYM TEACHER. 314 00:15:27,557 --> 00:15:29,058 A GUY. 315 00:15:29,059 --> 00:15:30,559 YEAH. 316 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:34,403 WHICH I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN I EVITED YOU. 317 00:15:34,404 --> 00:15:36,105 WELCOME, LYNN. 318 00:15:36,106 --> 00:15:39,038 YES, WELCOME, SISTER, WELCOME. (Jim) YES. 319 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,669 (strums) 320 00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:43,172 I'D LIKE TO WELCOME, UH, SOME OF GRACIE'S FRIENDS 321 00:15:43,173 --> 00:15:47,576 WHO'VE ALREADY GONE THROUGH THE CHANGE. 322 00:15:47,577 --> 00:15:50,280 IT'S NOT A BIG LIST. 323 00:15:52,182 --> 00:15:56,085 JUST MIRIAM HERE. 324 00:15:56,086 --> 00:15:57,956 IT TURNS OUT THAT... 325 00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:01,031 MAYBE SHE JUST WAS INJURED DURING GYMNASTICS. 326 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,263 DAD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 327 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:05,964 WHEN YOU SAID "PARTY," 328 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,737 I THOUGHT THERE WAS GONNA BE PRESENTS AND A CAKE. 329 00:16:08,738 --> 00:16:11,740 NOW THIS IS JUST WEIRD. NO, THIS IS NOT WEIRD, HONEY. 330 00:16:11,741 --> 00:16:14,743 THIS IS THE CELEBRATION OF YOU BECOMING A WOMAN. 331 00:16:14,744 --> 00:16:19,048 ANDY, RELEASE THE THOUSAND WHITE BUTTERFLIES. 332 00:16:19,049 --> 00:16:22,052 ONE, TWO, THREE. 333 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:27,716 OH, HOW CUTE. THEY MUST BE ASLEEP. 334 00:16:27,717 --> 00:16:29,058 (chuckles) 335 00:16:29,059 --> 00:16:30,720 COME ON. COME ON. 336 00:16:34,024 --> 00:16:37,026 I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT 'EM IN MY CAR. 337 00:16:37,027 --> 00:16:38,697 STUPID! 338 00:16:38,698 --> 00:16:42,001 I'M OUTTA HERE. 339 00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:50,779 ♪ THERE ARE LOTS OF WORDS OF WISDOM ♪ 340 00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:54,044 ♪ IN "THE ILIAD" ♪ 341 00:16:56,086 --> 00:16:58,487 ♪ BUT NOTHING IN THERE ♪ 342 00:16:58,488 --> 00:17:00,789 ♪ ABOUT GETTING YOUR PERIOD ♪ 343 00:17:00,790 --> 00:17:02,321 LET'S GO. THANKS, MAN. 344 00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,022 I... NO, NO, NO. 345 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,595 THERE'S MORE. 346 00:17:08,328 --> 00:17:10,659 IS YOUR STUPID PARTY OVER YET? 347 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:13,031 YEAH, IT WAS AWESOME. 348 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:15,033 LIAR. I WATCHED IT THROUGH THE WINDOW. 349 00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:17,766 UNCLE ANDY THREW DEAD BUGS ALL OVER THE PLACE. 350 00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:20,038 OKAY, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS 351 00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,810 BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR PERIOD. 352 00:17:21,811 --> 00:17:24,273 WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A JERK ABOUT THIS? 353 00:17:24,274 --> 00:17:26,445 OKAY, YOU ARE BEING A JERK! DON'T CALL ME NAMES! 354 00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:29,378 OH, 'CAUSE WE'RE IN PRESCHOOL, RIGHT? HEY, HEY, HEY, NOW COME ON! STOP IT! STOP IT! 355 00:17:29,379 --> 00:17:31,080 I CANNOT HANDLE THIS. 356 00:17:31,081 --> 00:17:33,382 YOU KNOW WHAT? I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING. 357 00:17:33,383 --> 00:17:36,085 I THOUGHT I COULD HANDLE THIS WITHOUT YOUR MOTHER, 358 00:17:36,086 --> 00:17:37,827 BUT I WAS WRONG. 359 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,092 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 360 00:17:43,093 --> 00:17:45,094 WHAT AM I DOING? 361 00:17:45,095 --> 00:17:47,096 I'M PACKING YOUR STUFF. 362 00:17:47,097 --> 00:17:49,238 I CAN'T GET YOU TWO TO STOP FIGHTING, 363 00:17:49,239 --> 00:17:51,170 SO I'M SHIPPING YOU TO FLORIDA. 364 00:17:51,171 --> 00:17:54,343 WHAT? YES, I'M SHIPPING YOU TO FLORIDA. 365 00:17:54,344 --> 00:17:57,106 YOU ARE YOUR MOTHER'S PROBLEM NOW. 366 00:17:57,107 --> 00:17:58,607 OKAY, FINE. FINE. 367 00:17:58,608 --> 00:18:01,650 WAIT, WAIT. YOU'RE GOING? THEN I'M SO NOT GOING. 368 00:18:01,651 --> 00:18:03,812 OKAY, THEN I'M NOT GOING, EITHER. 369 00:18:03,813 --> 00:18:06,855 NO, NO, NO. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA GO. 370 00:18:06,856 --> 00:18:09,688 I'M GONNA GO TO FLORIDA, NOT TO SEE YOUR MOM, 371 00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,660 BUT TO GET DRUNK, STINKING DRUNK, 372 00:18:11,661 --> 00:18:15,794 BECAUSE I HEAR THE CLUBS IN MIAMI ARE REALLY FUN. 373 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:18,096 IS HE OKAY? 374 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,098 YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT? 375 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,801 I TOLD YOUR MOTHER NOT TO FEED YOU, 376 00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:27,576 BECAUSE IF SHE DIDN'T FEED YOU, THEN YOU'D STAY LITTLE GIRLS. 377 00:18:27,577 --> 00:18:31,580 BUT NOW LOOK AT YOU. YOU'RE WOMEN! 378 00:18:31,581 --> 00:18:33,612 WELL, AT LEAST ONE OF US. 379 00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,114 OH, MY GOD, YOU ARE SO NOT A WOMAN. 380 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,248 YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW FRACTIONS. I KNOW YOU'RE HALF THE WOMAN I AM. 381 00:18:39,249 --> 00:18:41,250 OH, MY GOD! OH, MY GOSH! 382 00:18:41,251 --> 00:18:44,253 (Gracie) YOU JUST PUSHED ME! ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 383 00:18:44,254 --> 00:18:46,825 STOP IT! THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT. THAT'S ENOUGH. 384 00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:49,258 NO MORE FIGHTING. NO MORE FIGHTING. 385 00:18:49,259 --> 00:18:50,759 WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL HERE? 386 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:53,162 WHO CARES WHO GETS THEIR PERIOD FIRST? 387 00:18:53,163 --> 00:18:56,165 I DO. RUBY GETS TO DO EVERYTHING FIRST. 388 00:18:56,166 --> 00:18:58,167 OH, SO IT'S MY FAULT I'M OLDER? 389 00:18:58,168 --> 00:19:00,169 I'M NOT SAYING IT'S YOUR FAULT. 390 00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:02,171 IT JUST STINKS ALWAYS BEING SECOND. 391 00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:04,173 YOU KNOW HOW YOU FEEL NOW? 392 00:19:04,174 --> 00:19:06,645 I FEEL LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME. 393 00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,679 REALLY? YOU'VE NEVER TOLD ME THAT BEFORE. 394 00:19:14,524 --> 00:19:16,556 WELL, WH-WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 395 00:19:18,828 --> 00:19:22,861 I MEAN, I-I JUST HEARD A LOT OF YELLING, 396 00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:27,336 AND NOW THERE'S A LOT OF QUIET. 397 00:19:27,337 --> 00:19:29,238 WE'RE MAKING UP. 398 00:19:29,239 --> 00:19:32,571 YOU ARE? WHO WON? 399 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:36,475 NOBODY WON. 400 00:19:36,476 --> 00:19:41,750 WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW IT'S OVER UNLESS SOMEBODY WINS? 401 00:19:41,751 --> 00:19:44,182 HE JUST DOESN'T GET IT. 402 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,484 I KNOW. 403 00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:47,486 SORRY I WAS BEING SUCH A JERK. 404 00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:50,360 I'M SORRY, TOO. 405 00:19:55,665 --> 00:19:56,965 BY THE WAY, 406 00:19:56,966 --> 00:20:00,669 AFTER SEEING THE KIND OF PARTY THAT DADDY THREW FOR YOU, 407 00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:03,532 I'M KINDA GLAD YOU GOT TO GO FIRST. 408 00:20:03,533 --> 00:20:07,776 I HOPE I DON'T GET MY PERIOD TILL MOMMY COMES BACK. 409 00:20:07,777 --> 00:20:10,209 YEAH, YOU AND ME BOTH. 410 00:20:12,342 --> 00:20:14,813 ARE YOU SURE THEY'RE JUST TAKING A NAP? 411 00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:17,816 YEAH, YEAH, AND YOU BETTER HURRY UP BEFORE THEY WAKE UP, 412 00:20:17,817 --> 00:20:20,549 'CAUSE THEY'RE GONNA BE MAD. 413 00:20:20,550 --> 00:20:22,691 ATTABOY. COME ON. 414 00:20:22,692 --> 00:20:23,992 (cell phone rings) 415 00:20:23,993 --> 00:20:26,695 HOLD ON. 416 00:20:26,696 --> 00:20:28,327 HELLO? 417 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,858 HEY, HONEY. 418 00:20:29,859 --> 00:20:32,000 WELL, HELLO, STRANGER. 419 00:20:32,001 --> 00:20:34,363 OH, I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T HAD TIME TO TALK. 420 00:20:34,364 --> 00:20:36,365 MOM HAS REALLY BEEN KEEPING ME GOING. 421 00:20:36,366 --> 00:20:38,367 BUT I THINK AFTER THAT BOX OF WINE, 422 00:20:38,368 --> 00:20:41,870 SHE'LL BE DOWN FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS. (laughs) WELL, THAT'S GOOD, 423 00:20:41,871 --> 00:20:45,674 BECAUSE I HAVE SO MUCH TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT. 424 00:20:45,675 --> 00:20:48,647 RUBY AND GRACIE GOT IN A BIG FIGHT 425 00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:51,450 BECAUSE GRACIE GOT HER PERIOD BEFORE RUBY. 426 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:53,382 WHAT? 427 00:20:53,383 --> 00:20:56,485 WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? DID SHE KNOW WHAT TO DO? 428 00:20:56,486 --> 00:20:59,888 AH, IT WAS NO BIGGIE, REALLY. IT'S FINE. 429 00:20:59,889 --> 00:21:01,990 I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED 430 00:21:01,991 --> 00:21:05,263 SUCH AN IMPORTANT MOMENT IN OUR LITTLE GIRL'S LIFE. 431 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:07,265 CHERYL, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 432 00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,968 I HANDLED IT. DON'T GET UPSET. 433 00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:12,971 DON'T GET UPSET? 434 00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,775 DO YOU WANT TO SEE UPSET? 435 00:21:17,447 --> 00:21:20,850 DO YOU WANT TO SEE UPSET?! 436 00:21:22,412 --> 00:21:24,413 IT'S THE 15th, ISN'T IT? 437 00:21:24,414 --> 00:21:27,456 UH, CHERYL, UH, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE SOME CHOCOLATE 438 00:21:27,457 --> 00:21:29,458 AND CALL ME IN FIVE DAYS? 439 00:21:29,459 --> 00:21:31,461 GRACIE, YOUR MOTHER'S ON THE PHONE! 29428

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