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1
00:00:00,601 --> 00:00:03,604
(grunting)
2
00:00:15,786 --> 00:00:17,788
(panting)
3
00:00:25,256 --> 00:00:27,758
(grunts)
4
00:00:29,460 --> 00:00:32,463
♪♪♪
5
00:00:38,309 --> 00:00:42,272
OH! I HOPE THIS IS
WHAT I THINK IT IS.
6
00:00:42,273 --> 00:00:44,744
"CUTIES GONE CRAZY"...
THE MOVIE.
7
00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,747
OOH! IT IS! IT IS
WHAT I THINK IT IS!
8
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:51,281
HA HA HA! BOOBIES.
9
00:00:51,282 --> 00:00:53,783
YOU KNOW WHAT I LOVE
ABOUT THESE FILMS?
10
00:00:53,784 --> 00:00:55,285
YOU ALWAYS THINK THAT
11
00:00:55,286 --> 00:00:57,787
THAT GIRL IS SO SWEET,
SHE'LL NEVER SHOW 'EM.
12
00:00:57,788 --> 00:01:00,560
THEN SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENS,
AND SHE DOES.
13
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,062
YEP, MY COLLEGE BUDDY STEVE
SENT ME THIS,
14
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:06,196
AND HE SAYS THE HOTTEST CHICK
HE'S EVER SEEN IS ON THIS THING.
15
00:01:06,197 --> 00:01:08,198
"CUTIES GONE CRAZY:
SPRING BREAK FLORIDA"...
16
00:01:08,199 --> 00:01:09,699
SOLID INSTALLMENT.
17
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:13,443
BEST YOU CAN DO
ON AMERICAN SOIL, ANYWAY.
18
00:01:13,444 --> 00:01:15,445
INTERNATIONAL WATERS...
19
00:01:15,446 --> 00:01:17,447
THAT'S WHERE
THE REAL ACTION IS.
20
00:01:17,448 --> 00:01:19,449
WAIT A MINUTE.
YOU'VE SEEN THIS ONE ALREADY?
21
00:01:19,450 --> 00:01:22,152
I'VE SEEN THEM ALL. HOW FAR
IN IS SHE? HE SAID 20 MINUTES.
22
00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:25,855
20 MINUTES, HUH?
YEAH, I HAVEN'T SEEN HER.
23
00:01:25,856 --> 00:01:28,458
DON'T JUDGE ME.
24
00:01:28,459 --> 00:01:32,122
AREN'T YOU EVEN A LITTLE CURIOUS
ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN THERE?
25
00:01:32,123 --> 00:01:34,124
THERE'S THREE MEN IN THERE,
26
00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:36,126
AND THE KIDS
ARE OUT OF THE HOUSE.
27
00:01:36,127 --> 00:01:38,869
THEY'RE EITHER LIGHTING FARTS
OR WATCHING PORN.
28
00:01:40,631 --> 00:01:42,632
WHAT IF CHERYL AND DANA
COME IN?
29
00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:45,605
OH, COME ON, DOC.
THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME
30
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,608
ANDY AND I HAVE ENJOYED
SOPHISTICATED EROTICA.
31
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,581
WE HAVE A SYSTEM.
AND GO.
32
00:01:51,582 --> 00:01:54,844
I GOT THE LOOKOUT. I HIT THE INPUT
BUTTON. IT GOES RIGHT TO ESPN.
33
00:01:54,845 --> 00:01:57,747
IF THEY COME IN,
CODE WORD IS "WHIRLYBIRD."
34
00:01:57,748 --> 00:01:59,249
REPEAT, WHIRLYBIRD.
COME BACK.
35
00:01:59,250 --> 00:02:01,721
WHIRLYBIRD.
(clicks tongue)
36
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:04,854
DOC, HE SAID, "COME BACK."
37
00:02:04,855 --> 00:02:06,796
WHIRLYBIRD.
38
00:02:06,797 --> 00:02:10,160
ANDY,
WE ARE GO FOR BOOBIES.
39
00:02:10,161 --> 00:02:12,732
(laughs)
40
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:15,436
DON'T WATCH ME.
41
00:02:19,770 --> 00:02:22,772
UGH. WELL, YOU MAY NOT CARE,
BUT I DO.
42
00:02:22,773 --> 00:02:24,344
I'M TAKING A PEEK.
43
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:28,278
(all) NICE.
44
00:02:28,279 --> 00:02:31,721
OH, MY GOD. CHERYL, THEY'RE
WATCHING "CUTIES GONE CRAZY."
45
00:02:31,722 --> 00:02:33,453
THEY'RE WATCHING WHAT?
46
00:02:33,454 --> 00:02:36,786
"CUTIES GONE CRAZY." THEY'RE
GONNA SEE US FLASH THE CAMERA.
47
00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:39,829
OH, NO! OH, OH, OH.
48
00:02:39,830 --> 00:02:41,261
OKAY. OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU KNOW WHAT?
49
00:02:41,262 --> 00:02:42,762
CALM DOWN. CALM DOWN.
50
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,494
THERE ARE,
LIKE, 500 OF THOSE.
51
00:02:44,495 --> 00:02:46,466
I MEAN,
WH... WHAT ARE THE ODDS
52
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,798
THAT THEY'RE WATCHING
FORT LAUDERDALE? YEAH.
53
00:02:48,799 --> 00:02:51,941
(man) SO, AMBER, HOW DO YOU
LIKE FORT LAUDERDALE?
54
00:02:51,942 --> 00:02:55,645
CRAP! CRAP! OH, SHOOT! OH, WE'RE
DEAD! WE'RE DEAD! WE'RE DEAD!
55
00:02:55,646 --> 00:02:57,647
WE'RE DEAD! WE'RE DEAD!
NO!
56
00:02:57,648 --> 00:03:00,910
I DON'T WANT MY HUSBAND
TO SEE ME TOPLESS.
57
00:03:00,911 --> 00:03:04,284
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
ALL RIGHT. (clears throat)
58
00:03:04,285 --> 00:03:06,856
YOU KNOW WHAT? THEY OBVIOUSLY
HAVEN'T SEEN US YET...
59
00:03:06,857 --> 00:03:09,519
(quietly) OKAY. SO YOU ARE
GONNA FOLLOW MY LEAD, OKAY?
60
00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:11,491
OKAY. WE'LL GET
THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.
61
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,323
OKAY.
(whispers) OKAY.
62
00:03:13,324 --> 00:03:15,825
SO, MARGO,
HOW OLD ARE YOU?
63
00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:17,797
(Margo) 18.
64
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,669
(men) DAMN, GIRL.
65
00:03:19,670 --> 00:03:22,402
WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU WATCHING?
66
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:25,735
WHIRLYBIRD!
WHIRLYBIRD!
67
00:03:25,736 --> 00:03:28,778
WE'RE WATCHING
SOME, UH, ESPN, BABY.
68
00:03:28,779 --> 00:03:31,841
COME ON. YOU KNOW
HOW MUCH I LOVE, UH...
69
00:03:31,842 --> 00:03:33,883
MEN'S FIGURE SKATING.
70
00:03:33,884 --> 00:03:37,817
OH, WHAT THE HELL? WHAT AM I
TRYING TO HIDE ANYTHING FOR?
71
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:41,691
WE'RE WATCHING DRUNK GIRLS
TAKE THEIR TOPS OFF.
72
00:03:41,692 --> 00:03:44,694
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? NO, NO, NO. OFF.
TURN IT OFF! COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
73
00:03:44,695 --> 00:03:47,727
JIM, OFF! SIT DOWN AND
WATCH IT. HAVE A GOOD...
74
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,930
OH, MY GOD! I'M HAVING
MY BABY! WHAT?! WHAT?!
75
00:03:50,931 --> 00:03:53,703
EVENTUALLY, AND I DON'T WANT
OUR UNBORN CHILD
76
00:03:53,704 --> 00:03:55,705
TO SEE THIS FILTH.
77
00:03:55,706 --> 00:03:59,539
TURN IT OFF! NO, NO, LET
THESE GIRLS PUMP UP THE TIRES.
78
00:03:59,540 --> 00:04:01,541
YOU CAN STILL
RIDE THE BIKE.
79
00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:03,713
YOU KNOW WHAT? NO. I WANT IT
OFF. (Dana) JIM, JUST TURN IT OFF.
80
00:04:03,714 --> 00:04:05,845
GET AWAY FROM ME, CHERYL.
NO, I WANT IT OFF. I WANT IT OFF.
81
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:08,548
(Andy) EASY. HEY, THERE,
GORGEOUS. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
82
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,951
(crowd cheering)
DANA!
83
00:04:13,023 --> 00:04:18,257
(men) OH... MY... GOD.
84
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,929
YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME,
DANA?
85
00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:22,262
NO. NO, I'M NOT.
86
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:32,502
YOU TOOK OFF YOUR TOP
87
00:04:32,503 --> 00:04:34,974
IN A "CUTIES GONE CRAZY" VIDEO?
88
00:04:34,975 --> 00:04:36,846
YEAH, I...
89
00:04:36,847 --> 00:04:39,410
I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT.
90
00:04:40,951 --> 00:04:43,783
DIDN'T I?
91
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,715
NO, DANA, YOU DIDN'T.
92
00:04:45,716 --> 00:04:48,719
YOU SAID YOU COULD
ROLLER-SKATE AND BAKE.
93
00:04:50,821 --> 00:04:53,993
BUT DRUNKEN BAR-FLASHER
NEVER CAME UP.
94
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,395
ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT.
95
00:04:55,396 --> 00:04:58,698
ALL RIGHT, DOC.
DOC, EASY. "EASY"?
96
00:04:58,699 --> 00:05:01,531
EASY... LIKE DANA ON
SPRING BREAK. (Cheryl) OH.
97
00:05:01,532 --> 00:05:03,803
JIM. YOU KNOW
WHAT? I'M OUT OF HERE.
98
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:06,075
I'M SORRY. I'M TRYING. NO, DOC, COME ON. NO, COME
ON, MAN. HEY, HEY, HEY! COME ON, MAN. COME ON, HUH?
99
00:05:06,076 --> 00:05:08,077
HEY, WE PAUSED IT
BEFORE WE SAW BOOBS,
100
00:05:08,078 --> 00:05:10,980
SO NO ONE HAS TO GO
TO HELL OR ANYTHING.
101
00:05:10,981 --> 00:05:12,812
YEAH. COME ON, RYAN,
IT WAS YEARS AGO.
102
00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,313
WE ALL DO STUPID THINGS.
103
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,015
I MEAN, WHAT WERE YOU DOING
RIGHT OUT OF SCHOOL?
104
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:19,489
I WAS IN AFRICA, WORKING WITH
DOCTORS WITHOUT BORDERS
105
00:05:19,490 --> 00:05:21,351
VACCINATING ORPHANS.
106
00:05:21,352 --> 00:05:22,652
OOH, WELL,
107
00:05:22,653 --> 00:05:25,655
SO IF THEY HAD PARENTS,
YOU WOULDN'T VACCINATE 'EM?
108
00:05:25,656 --> 00:05:27,657
PFFT.
THAT'S KINDA MESSED UP.
109
00:05:27,658 --> 00:05:29,999
ALL I DID
WAS LIFT MY SHIRT UP.
110
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,001
HEY, HEY, HEY.
COME ON, RYAN.
111
00:05:32,002 --> 00:05:34,033
THIS HAPPENED BEFORE
YOU EVEN KNEW HER. YEAH.
112
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,065
YOU'RE JUST GONNA
HAVE TO GET OVER IT.
113
00:05:36,066 --> 00:05:37,767
"GET OVER IT"?
YEAH.
114
00:05:37,768 --> 00:05:40,840
IF CHERYL HAD DONE THIS,
YOU WOULDN'T GET OVER IT.
115
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:44,714
YOU'D GO BALLISTIC.
BALLISTIC? NOT JIM.
116
00:05:44,715 --> 00:05:49,579
YEAH, AND BESIDES,
IT WASN'T CHERYL. IT WAS DANA.
117
00:05:49,580 --> 00:05:51,020
JUST DANA.
118
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,052
RIGHT.
119
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:56,456
SO, UH, SO, DOC,
LIGHTEN UP A LITTLE BIT.
120
00:05:56,457 --> 00:05:58,728
LOOK, HER BIG SECRET
IS OUT NOW.
121
00:05:58,729 --> 00:06:01,761
THE BEST WE CAN DO IS WATCH IT
AND MAKE FUN OF HER. COME ON.
122
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:04,894
NO! I MEAN, NO,
WE... WE SHOULD EAT.
123
00:06:04,895 --> 00:06:07,397
LET'S ALL
GO IN THE KITCHEN.
124
00:06:07,398 --> 00:06:11,441
OOH, I'M HUNGRY. NO, NO, NO,
NO, NO. YOU KNOW WHAT, CHERYL?
125
00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:13,443
THEY ALREADY KNOW
I'M ON IT,
126
00:06:13,444 --> 00:06:16,105
SO WHY DON'T WE ALL
JUST SIT DOWN
127
00:06:16,106 --> 00:06:19,550
AND WATCH
THE WHOLE THING?
128
00:06:21,552 --> 00:06:23,553
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHAT THE HELL?
129
00:06:23,554 --> 00:06:26,085
THIS IS GONNA HAUNT ME FOREVER
IF WE DON'T SEE IT,
130
00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,887
SO LET'S SEE IT.
131
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,890
YEAH, WAY TO MAN UP, RYAN.
LOVE THAT. I'M PROUD OF YOU.
132
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,892
(Ryan) THANK YOU. WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
133
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,724
I-I-I-I... I'M GONNA
KEEP MY EYES CLOSED.
134
00:06:34,725 --> 00:06:39,899
TELL ME WHEN THE NEXT HOTTIE COMES
UP. COME ON, ANDY. HOW BAD CAN IT BE?
135
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,901
(man) DO IT.
(Dana) ...HAVING A DRUNK TIME.
136
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,133
BUT I'M REALLY, REALLY GREAT.
137
00:06:44,134 --> 00:06:46,105
(man) WELL, YOU KNOW WHO WE ARE,
138
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:48,608
AND YOU KNOW WHAT
WE WANT, RIGHT? (cheering)
139
00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:51,040
COME ON, DANA!
LET'S SEE 'EM! WHAT?
140
00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:54,043
LET'S SEE 'EM, DANA!
NO, I DON'T THINK SO!
141
00:06:54,044 --> 00:06:56,546
(crowd chanting) DO IT! DO
IT! DO IT! I DON'T THINK SO.
142
00:06:56,547 --> 00:06:58,017
DANA, COME ON.
143
00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:01,491
YOU HAVE A FANTASTIC BODY.
SHARE IT WITH US. GET LOST!
144
00:07:01,492 --> 00:07:03,993
DANA, I'LL GIVE YOU A
FREE T-SHIRT. ALL RIGHT.
145
00:07:03,994 --> 00:07:05,495
(cheering)
146
00:07:05,496 --> 00:07:09,900
BUY ONE, GET ONE FREE!
YEAH!
147
00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:21,140
CHERYL DID IT, TOO.
148
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,542
(gasps)
WHAT?!
149
00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:25,475
THANKS A LOT! OH, IT'S
EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF.
150
00:07:25,476 --> 00:07:28,047
COME ON, PLAY THE VIDEO. SHE
FLASHED HIM RIGHT AFTER I DID.
151
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,049
WHAT?!
152
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,751
BOTH MY SISTERS?!
153
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,483
SORRY, POP.
154
00:07:33,484 --> 00:07:37,126
THIS MUST BE LIKE GETTING HIT
BY THAT BUS ALL OVER AGAIN.
155
00:07:37,127 --> 00:07:39,729
WAIT, WAIT. YOU'RE TELLING ME
YOU FLASHED YOURSELF
156
00:07:39,730 --> 00:07:41,831
INTO A BAR ROOM
FULL OF PEOPLE?!
157
00:07:41,832 --> 00:07:44,564
DANA DID IT FIRST.
I FELT A LOT OF PEER PRESSURE.
158
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:47,797
"PRESSURE"? CHERYL, PRESSURE?
PRESSURE? YOU'RE ON FILM NOW.
159
00:07:47,798 --> 00:07:51,040
YOU'RE... YOU'RE ON VIDEO.
THE WHOLE WORLD'S GONNA SEE IT.
160
00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:54,604
EASY, JIM. YOU'RE JUST
GONNA HAVE TO GET OVER IT.
161
00:07:54,605 --> 00:07:57,607
DON'T GO THROWING
MY WORDS BACK AT ME.
162
00:07:57,608 --> 00:07:59,609
IF I WANTED MY ADVICE,
163
00:07:59,610 --> 00:08:02,682
I'D LISTEN TO MYSELF
WHEN I TALK.
164
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:06,086
I THOUGHT IT WASN'T
THAT BIG A DEAL.
165
00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:11,961
WELL, IT'S NOT
THAT BIG OF A DEAL.
166
00:08:11,962 --> 00:08:14,263
I MEAN, COME ON,
WE WERE ALL YOUNG, RIGHT?
167
00:08:14,264 --> 00:08:16,996
WE ALL MAKE STUPID MISTAKES
WHEN WE'RE YOUNG.
168
00:08:16,997 --> 00:08:18,998
I MEAN, I KNOW I DID.
RIGHT.
169
00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:22,001
I MEAN, I DID A REALLY
STUPID THING IN COLLEGE.
170
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:24,503
I ACTUALLY SHAVED MY INITIALS
INTO A SHETLAND PONY.
171
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:27,777
YEAH. IT'S LIKE THAT, JIM.
IT'S LIKE THE PONY.
172
00:08:27,778 --> 00:08:29,809
YEAH. (laughs)
COME ON.
173
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:32,812
I LIKE THAT MY GIRL HAD A WILD TIME
WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG. (Cheryl) YEAH.
174
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:37,116
YOU HAD A LITTLE WILD STREAK.
DON'T SEE IT ANYMORE.
175
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:40,790
(laughs) ALL RIGHT. WHY DON'T WE
JUST WATCH IT AND HAVE SOME FUN?
176
00:08:40,791 --> 00:08:42,792
BUT TH-THEN,
LET ME LEAVE FIRST.
177
00:08:42,793 --> 00:08:44,794
ALL RIGHT?
I'M DONE WITH SMUT.
178
00:08:44,795 --> 00:08:47,997
I'M GONNA GO HOME, GET RID
OF MY ENTIRE PORN COLLECTION.
179
00:08:47,998 --> 00:08:49,999
IT'S NO FUN
WHEN YOU THINK OF GIRLS
180
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,963
AS PEOPLE
WITH LIVES AND FAMILIES.
181
00:08:53,964 --> 00:08:56,966
THANKS A LOT, SKANKS!
182
00:08:56,967 --> 00:09:01,110
ALL RIGHT. BACK TO
BOOBIEFEST. (sighs)
183
00:09:01,111 --> 00:09:04,113
AND WHO'S THIS LOVELY LADY?
HI, I'M CHERYL.
184
00:09:04,114 --> 00:09:06,816
HEY, I WANT TO SAY HI
TO MY KIDS.
185
00:09:06,817 --> 00:09:09,979
HEY, GIRLS! (laughs)
ALL RIGHT, CHERYL.
186
00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:12,982
WELL, WE SAID HI TO YOUR GIRLS.
HOW ABOUT WE SAY HI TO YOURS?
187
00:09:12,983 --> 00:09:14,984
MY GIRLS?
YEAH.
188
00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:16,656
OH, WHAT THE HELL?
189
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:19,659
OH, I'M SORRY. ARE YOU GONNA
HAVE TO BEEP THAT OUT?
190
00:09:19,660 --> 00:09:21,961
NO, WE'RE FINE.
LET'S SEE THE GIRLS.
191
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,794
OKEY-DOKEY!
192
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:31,140
WAIT A SECOND.
193
00:09:31,141 --> 00:09:33,773
"GIRLS"?
194
00:09:33,774 --> 00:09:37,047
YOUR WEDDING RING IS ON.
195
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,952
YOU DID THIS
WHEN YOU WERE MARRIED TO ME?!
196
00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:48,889
AT LEAST
I WAS A SINGLE SKANK.
197
00:09:58,629 --> 00:10:00,970
OKEY-DOKEY!
(VCR whirs)
198
00:10:00,971 --> 00:10:02,932
OKEY-DOKEY!
(VCR whirs)
199
00:10:02,933 --> 00:10:04,934
OKEY-DOKEY!
(VCR whirs)
200
00:10:04,935 --> 00:10:07,076
OKEY-DOKEY!
(VCR whirs)
201
00:10:07,077 --> 00:10:08,938
OKEY-DOKEY!
202
00:10:08,939 --> 00:10:11,380
JIM,
WHY ARE YOU WATCHING THIS?
203
00:10:11,381 --> 00:10:13,312
WELL, I KEEP THINKING
204
00:10:13,313 --> 00:10:15,314
THAT THIS GIRL IS SO SWEET,
205
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:18,848
SHE'S NOT GONNA SHOW 'EM...
206
00:10:18,849 --> 00:10:22,121
AND THEN SOMETHING HORRIBLE
HAPPENS, AND SHE DOES.
207
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,894
(VCR whirs) ALL RIGHT. Y-YOU
KNOW WHAT? JUST TURN IT OFF.
208
00:10:24,895 --> 00:10:27,056
THE STEAKS ARE READY.
209
00:10:27,057 --> 00:10:30,399
CHERYL, I THINK YOU'LL
BE ABLE TO TELL HOW MAD I AM
210
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:33,903
WHEN I SAY,
"I CAN'T EAT STEAK RIGHT NOW."
211
00:10:33,904 --> 00:10:36,405
(sighs)
212
00:10:36,406 --> 00:10:38,408
JIM.
213
00:10:40,410 --> 00:10:42,772
HONEY, IT...
214
00:10:42,773 --> 00:10:45,775
IT WAS ONE NIGHT,
A LONG TIME AGO.
215
00:10:45,776 --> 00:10:47,977
OH. UGH.
216
00:10:47,978 --> 00:10:49,318
(sighs)
217
00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:51,250
REMEMBER WHEN DANA AND I
218
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:54,885
WENT TO FLORIDA
TO VISIT MY MOTHER?
219
00:10:56,927 --> 00:11:00,429
OH, MY GOD.
YOUR MOTHER'S IN THIS TAPE?
220
00:11:00,430 --> 00:11:03,432
NO! SHE WATCHED THE GIRLS,
AND DANA AND I WENT OUT.
221
00:11:03,433 --> 00:11:06,435
YOU KNOW, I-I HAD TWO KIDS,
I WAS TOTALLY OVERWHELMED.
222
00:11:06,436 --> 00:11:09,198
I NEEDED TO GO OUT
AND BLOW OFF SOME STEAM.
223
00:11:09,199 --> 00:11:12,341
YOU DIDN'T BLOW OFF STEAM.
YOU BLEW OFF YOUR SHIRT...
224
00:11:12,342 --> 00:11:14,443
UGH.
CHERYL MABEL.
225
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:20,980
DON'T YOU MIDDLE NAME ME,
JAMES ORENTHAL!
226
00:11:20,981 --> 00:11:23,212
WHO ELSE
HAS SEEN OUR BOOBS?
227
00:11:23,213 --> 00:11:25,054
"OUR BOOBS"?
YEAH.
228
00:11:25,055 --> 00:11:28,017
YOU KNOW, JIM, I'M PRETTY SURE THEY'RE
MY BOOBS. (mutters) YOU KNOW, I MEAN,
229
00:11:28,018 --> 00:11:30,019
I THOUGHT AT LEAST,
I'D HAVE HALF OF 'EM.
230
00:11:30,020 --> 00:11:32,922
I MEAN, I KNOW IT WASN'T
WRITTEN IN THE WEDDING VOWS,
231
00:11:32,923 --> 00:11:34,924
BUT I THOUGHT I HAD
EXCLUSIVE VIEWING RIGHTS.
232
00:11:34,925 --> 00:11:36,926
OH, WOULD YOU GET OFF
YOUR HIGH HORSE?
233
00:11:36,927 --> 00:11:38,227
YOU DROP YOUR PANTS
234
00:11:38,228 --> 00:11:41,230
AND MAKE A FOOL OUT OF YOURSELF
ALL THE TIME.
235
00:11:41,231 --> 00:11:44,473
CHERYL, BUT NOBODY WANTS
TO SEE ME NAKED.
236
00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:46,936
I'M PUNISHING THOSE PEOPLE.
237
00:11:46,937 --> 00:11:48,477
OH.
238
00:11:48,478 --> 00:11:51,480
COME ON. HOW CAN YOU NOT
FEEL BAD ABOUT THIS?
239
00:11:51,481 --> 00:11:53,913
I MEAN,
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
240
00:11:53,914 --> 00:11:56,315
AREN'T YOU THE LEAST
BIT SORRY? NO, I'M NOT.
241
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,317
WHAT?! THE ONLY
THING I'M SORRY ABOUT
242
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:01,490
IS WHAT I SPENT
THE MONEY THEY GAVE ME ON.
243
00:12:01,491 --> 00:12:04,924
UH, THEY... THEY...
THEY GAVE YOU MONEY?
244
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,396
YEAH, AND, STUPIDLY,
245
00:12:07,397 --> 00:12:10,901
I SPENT IT
ON THAT CHAIR FOR YOU.
246
00:12:12,863 --> 00:12:15,364
THAT CHAIR?
247
00:12:15,365 --> 00:12:17,106
YES!
248
00:12:17,107 --> 00:12:20,139
MY CHAIR?
249
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,371
YES!
250
00:12:24,114 --> 00:12:27,117
(grunting)
251
00:12:48,999 --> 00:12:50,901
HUH.
252
00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:06,856
WHAT THE HELL?
253
00:13:06,857 --> 00:13:09,859
CHERYL? CHERYL?
254
00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:11,160
HEY, HONEY.
255
00:13:11,161 --> 00:13:12,862
CHERYL, WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU...
256
00:13:12,863 --> 00:13:14,824
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
W-WHERE'S ALL OUR STUFF?
257
00:13:14,825 --> 00:13:18,027
I PUT IT ON THE LAWN
WITH THE CHAIR.
258
00:13:18,028 --> 00:13:20,369
WHY'D YOU DO THAT?
259
00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:22,872
WELL, YOU KNOW HOW
THAT CHAIR REMINDED YOU
260
00:13:22,873 --> 00:13:25,374
OF THE ONE ALLEGEDLY
STUPID THING I DID?
261
00:13:25,375 --> 00:13:28,377
WELL, I DECIDED TO THROW OUT
ALL THE THINGS THAT REMIND ME
262
00:13:28,378 --> 00:13:30,880
OF ALL THE TRULY STUPID STUFF
YOU'VE DONE.
263
00:13:30,881 --> 00:13:35,044
TURNS OUT, YOU'VE DONE
A LOT OF STUPID STUFF.
264
00:13:35,045 --> 00:13:37,416
WHAT? WHAT?
THE FRONT LAWN IS FILLED...
265
00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:40,019
CHERYL, THE PIANO?
266
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,121
WHAT IS THE PIANO DOING
OUT THERE?
267
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,123
WELL, THE ONLY REASON
WE HAD THE PIANO
268
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,255
IS BECAUSE YOU CONVINCED
MY AUNT IT WAS BROKEN.
269
00:13:46,256 --> 00:13:49,198
WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT?
SHE'S DEAF!
270
00:13:49,199 --> 00:13:54,533
CHERYL, HOW DID YOU EVEN
GET THE PIANO OUTSIDE?
271
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:57,136
ANGER STRENGTH.
272
00:13:57,137 --> 00:13:59,138
ANGER? YOU'RE ANGRY?
YES.
273
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,440
WHAT ARE YOU ANGRY ABOUT?
UGH!
274
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,572
I'M NOT
THE "OKEY-DOKEY" GIRL.
275
00:14:03,573 --> 00:14:05,844
NO, YOU'RE THE JERK!
276
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,346
WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE.
277
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,049
CHERYL,
YOU CANNOT BE MAD AT ME
278
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:13,552
FOR THE WAY
I'M BEING MAD AT YOU.
279
00:14:13,553 --> 00:14:15,554
OH,
NOW YOU GET TO DECIDE
280
00:14:15,555 --> 00:14:18,027
HOW I CAN BE MAD
AT THE WAY YOU'RE MAD?
281
00:14:18,028 --> 00:14:22,231
YES...
IF I HEARD YOU CORRECTLY.
282
00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:24,233
IF NOT, NO!
OH.
283
00:14:24,234 --> 00:14:27,036
CHERYL, CHERYL, HOW DID YOU
EVEN GET THE STUFF
284
00:14:27,037 --> 00:14:28,537
OUT OF THIS HOUSE?
285
00:14:28,538 --> 00:14:30,539
I KNOW YOU DIDN'T DO IT.
286
00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:33,472
IF ANDY HELPED YOU,
I'M GONNA KILL HIM.
287
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:35,474
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
DON'T BLAME ANDY.
288
00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,376
YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF.
289
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,478
OH, SO THIS IS THE WAY
IT'S GONNA BE, HUH?
290
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:42,611
YEAH, TILL YOU GET YOUR HEAD
OUT OF YOUR BUTT.
291
00:14:42,612 --> 00:14:47,356
(chuckles) THAT'S NOT
GONNA HAPPEN, BLONDIE.
292
00:14:47,357 --> 00:14:49,618
I HAPPEN
TO LIKE THE VIEW.
293
00:14:49,619 --> 00:14:52,361
(scoffs)
YOU KNOW WHAT?
294
00:14:52,362 --> 00:14:55,125
I DON'T NEED
ANY OF THIS STUFF ANYWAY.
295
00:14:56,666 --> 00:14:59,568
SO THIS IS THE WAY
IT'S GONNA BE, HUH?
296
00:14:59,569 --> 00:15:02,201
WELL,
IT'S GONNA BE THIS WAY
297
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:05,274
UNTIL YOU GROW UP
AND SAY YOU'RE SORRY.
298
00:15:05,275 --> 00:15:09,638
WELL, I AM SORRY...
299
00:15:09,639 --> 00:15:11,982
THAT YOU THINK
THAT'S EVER GONNA HAPPEN.
300
00:15:33,663 --> 00:15:35,505
DON'T JUDGE ME.
301
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,651
SOMETHING'S DIFFERENT.
302
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:56,685
DID YOU CHANGE YOUR HAIR?
303
00:15:56,686 --> 00:15:59,558
VERY FUNNY.
304
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:02,731
YOUR SISTER'S THE ONE THAT'S
OVERREACTING FOR A CHANGE.
305
00:16:02,732 --> 00:16:05,264
OH, YEAH, AND YOU'RE
BEING SO LEVELHEADED.
306
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,266
WHAT? COME ON. TELL ME.
307
00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:10,069
RYAN... DID HE GET OVER
YOU BEING IN THE VIDEO?
308
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:11,570
ACTUALLY, YEAH, HE DID,
309
00:16:11,571 --> 00:16:13,572
BECAUSE I TOLD HIM
THAT I MADE A MISTAKE,
310
00:16:13,573 --> 00:16:15,574
AND I WAS REALLY,
REALLY SORRY
311
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:18,277
THAT HE HAD TO FIND OUT
THE WAY HE DID.
312
00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,449
RIGHT THERE, THAT'S IT.
313
00:16:20,450 --> 00:16:23,612
THAT... THAT'S AN APOLOGY.
THAT'S ALL I NEED.
314
00:16:23,613 --> 00:16:27,486
AN APOLOGY
AND MAYBE A SLIGHTLY BIGGER TV.
315
00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,488
WHY CAN'T SHE APOLOGIZE?
316
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,421
WHY CAN'T SHE JUST SAY,
"I'M SORRY"?
317
00:16:32,422 --> 00:16:33,722
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU
318
00:16:33,723 --> 00:16:35,764
TRY LOOKING AT THIS
FROM CHERYL'S POINT OF VIEW?
319
00:16:35,765 --> 00:16:38,128
OKEY-DOKEY.
320
00:16:45,035 --> 00:16:47,037
I'M LISTENIN'.
321
00:16:49,779 --> 00:16:51,681
THE TRUTH IS...
322
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:03,693
COME ON.
323
00:17:10,060 --> 00:17:12,561
THE TRUTH IS
SHE IS SORRY.
324
00:17:12,562 --> 00:17:14,563
OF COURSE SHE'S SORRY.
325
00:17:14,564 --> 00:17:17,566
SHE WAS SORRY A HALF AN HOUR
AFTER SHE DID IT.
326
00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:19,568
THAT'S WHY SHE TOOK
THE MONEY SHE MADE,
327
00:17:19,569 --> 00:17:23,072
AND SHE SPENT IT
ON THAT CHAIR... FOR YOU.
328
00:17:23,073 --> 00:17:26,615
OKAY. CAN YOU LOOK AT IT
FROM MY POINT OF VIEW?
329
00:17:26,616 --> 00:17:29,379
DO I HAVE TO STICK
MY HEAD UP YOUR BUTT?
330
00:17:31,081 --> 00:17:34,383
MY POINT OF VIEW...
REALLY SIMPLE...
331
00:17:34,384 --> 00:17:37,426
SHE WAS THE ONE
THAT DID SOMETHING WRONG,
332
00:17:37,427 --> 00:17:40,289
SO NO MATTER HOW I REACT,
333
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:43,362
SHE'S THE ONE
THAT HAS TO APOLOGIZE.
334
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:47,166
(sighs) IF I ADMIT
THAT YOU'RE RIGHT,
335
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:50,139
WILL YOU GIVE ME A DEAL
ON THAT SWORDFISH OUT THERE?
336
00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:53,373
TAKE IT.
I STOLE IT FROM THE CHURCH.
337
00:18:10,620 --> 00:18:14,463
OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
338
00:18:14,464 --> 00:18:17,166
THAT BELONGS
OUT ON JACKASS ISLAND.
339
00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:19,368
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
340
00:18:19,369 --> 00:18:22,771
I CALLED YOUR DEAF AUNT
AND APOLOGIZED.
341
00:18:22,772 --> 00:18:24,833
IT'S OKAY.
342
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:28,407
YOU APOLOGIZED TO A DEAF PERSON
ON THE PHONE?
343
00:18:28,408 --> 00:18:33,142
YES, THAT'S WHY
I TALKED TO HER VERY SLOWLY.
344
00:18:33,143 --> 00:18:34,643
BESIDES,
345
00:18:34,644 --> 00:18:37,786
AN APOLOGY IS NOT
ABOUT THE PERSON GETTING IT.
346
00:18:37,787 --> 00:18:42,421
IT'S ABOUT
THE PERSON MAKING IT.
347
00:18:42,422 --> 00:18:45,394
VERY SUBTLE, JIM.
348
00:18:45,395 --> 00:18:48,157
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'M VERY TIRED.
349
00:18:48,158 --> 00:18:50,360
I THINK
I'M GONNA TAKE A NAP.
350
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,411
GO AHEAD, SLEEP...
351
00:19:02,412 --> 00:19:04,413
IF YOU CAN...
352
00:19:04,414 --> 00:19:07,176
WITH THAT GUILTY CONSCIENCE
OF YOURS.
353
00:19:07,177 --> 00:19:08,477
I DON'T HAVE
A GUILTY CONSCIENCE.
354
00:19:08,478 --> 00:19:11,380
YOU'RE THE ONE
WHO JUMPED DOWN MY THROAT!
355
00:19:11,381 --> 00:19:12,721
BECAUSE YOU SCREWED UP, HONEY.
356
00:19:12,722 --> 00:19:15,184
OKAY,
THAT'S NOT EVEN THE POINT.
357
00:19:15,185 --> 00:19:17,155
YES, IT IS THE POINT.
358
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:20,459
TRUST ME. I'VE BEEN DOWN
THAT ROAD MANY TIMES.
359
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:22,231
(scoffs)
360
00:19:22,232 --> 00:19:23,632
YEAH, I'VE BEEN DOWN
361
00:19:23,633 --> 00:19:26,295
THE SCREWUP EXPRESSWAY
SO MANY TIMES,
362
00:19:26,296 --> 00:19:29,339
THEY'VE EVEN NAMED
A REST STOP AFTER ME.
363
00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:33,942
THIS IS YOUR FIRST TRIP
DOWN THAT ROAD.
364
00:19:33,943 --> 00:19:36,845
YOU WANT TO BE MAD AT ME
365
00:19:36,846 --> 00:19:40,178
SO YOU DON'T HAVE
TO BE MAD AT YOURSELF.
366
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:43,782
(chuckles)
I AM NOT MAD AT MYSELF.
367
00:19:43,783 --> 00:19:45,714
(scoffs)
368
00:19:45,715 --> 00:19:48,517
(chuckles) CHERYL,
369
00:19:48,518 --> 00:19:52,962
NOBODY, AND I MEAN NOBODY,
LOVES YOUR BOOBS MORE THAN ME.
370
00:19:54,964 --> 00:19:58,397
SO WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST
SHOW ME THE TAPE?
371
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,399
WHY'D...
NINE YEARS HAVE GONE BY.
372
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,672
WHAT, WERE YOU WAITING
FOR THE DIRECTOR'S CUT?
373
00:20:03,673 --> 00:20:05,774
I MEAN,
374
00:20:05,775 --> 00:20:07,807
COME ON, HONEY.
375
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:11,640
NO.
376
00:20:11,641 --> 00:20:14,413
WELL, THEN... THEN...
THEN WHY?
377
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:18,447
(sighs)
378
00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:21,920
I SHOULD NEVER
HAVE DONE IT.
379
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:25,654
(sighs) I SHOULD NEVER HAVE DONE
WHAT I DID IN THAT BAR.
380
00:20:25,655 --> 00:20:27,326
I MEAN, I...
381
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:29,898
(sighs) I WASN'T
THINKING ABOUT YOU
382
00:20:29,899 --> 00:20:32,431
OR OUR RELATIONSHIP
OR OUR FAMILY.
383
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,463
I JUST...
384
00:20:34,464 --> 00:20:36,935
OH, HONEY.
385
00:20:36,936 --> 00:20:40,339
I FEEL LIKE A TOTAL IDIOT.
386
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:43,313
I AM SO, SO SORRY.
387
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:48,718
DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP.
IT'S NO BIGGIE.
388
00:20:51,321 --> 00:20:53,882
VERY FUNNY,
389
00:20:53,883 --> 00:20:55,784
BUT IT IS A BIGGIE.
390
00:20:55,785 --> 00:20:58,327
IT'S A PAIR OF BIGGIES.
391
00:20:58,328 --> 00:20:59,629
OH.
392
00:21:01,691 --> 00:21:04,593
WHAT DO YOU SAY...
393
00:21:04,594 --> 00:21:09,338
WE GO UPSTAIRS
AND HAVE SOME MAKEUP SEX?
394
00:21:09,339 --> 00:21:11,341
WE DON'T HAVE A BED.
395
00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:15,043
YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BED?
396
00:21:15,044 --> 00:21:18,507
THE MANAGER
OF THE NURSING HOME CALLED.
397
00:21:18,508 --> 00:21:21,980
WELL...
398
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:24,353
WE CAN DO IT
OUTSIDE ON THE BED.
399
00:21:24,354 --> 00:21:28,917
JIM,
I'M NOT THAT KIND OF GIRL.
400
00:21:28,918 --> 00:21:31,320
I'LL GIVE YOU
A FREE T-SHIRT.
401
00:21:31,321 --> 00:21:32,592
OKEY-DOKEY.
27449
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