Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,006
(sighs)
2
00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:12,143
(sighs)
3
00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:23,414
♪♪♪
4
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,291
AW, IT'S JUST NOT KICKING.
5
00:01:31,292 --> 00:01:34,565
(sighs) MAYBE HE JUST NEEDS
THAT LAST PIECE OF BACON.
6
00:01:41,272 --> 00:01:43,203
OH, UH...
7
00:01:43,204 --> 00:01:46,106
I-I-I WAS...
SAVING IT FOR BABY?
8
00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:50,340
I GOTTA TELL YOU,
9
00:01:50,341 --> 00:01:53,143
THE SPORTS PAGE,
A CUP OF COFFEE...
10
00:01:53,144 --> 00:01:55,145
IS THERE A BETTER WAY
11
00:01:55,146 --> 00:01:57,648
TO GET CLOSER TO GOD
ON A SUNDAY MORNING?
12
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,752
WELL, I GUESS WE COULD
ACTUALLY GO TO CHURCH...
13
00:02:02,753 --> 00:02:04,894
DON'T RUIN IT, CHERYL.
14
00:02:04,895 --> 00:02:07,197
(car stereo plays loudly
in distance)
15
00:02:07,198 --> 00:02:10,200
IT'S HIM. IT'S HIM! OH,
OH, NO, JIM, PLEASE, NO.
16
00:02:10,201 --> 00:02:13,203
OH, NOT AGAIN! NO, NO, THAT CREEP
DRIVES BY OUR HOUSE ON PURPOSE!
17
00:02:13,204 --> 00:02:14,634
I SWEAR HE DOES!
18
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:17,637
IT'S HORRIBLE MUSIC, TOO.
WOULD IT KILL 'EM TO MIX IN
19
00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:20,870
A LITTLE SNOOP D-O-DOUBLE "G,"
YA SEE?
20
00:02:20,871 --> 00:02:23,613
COME ON, YOU'RE GONNA
RUIN OUR SUNDAY!
21
00:02:23,614 --> 00:02:26,246
(Jim) HEY, YOU'RE GONNA
RUIN OUR SUNDAY!
22
00:02:26,247 --> 00:02:28,748
HEY, JIM,
I CAN MAKE MORE BACON.
23
00:02:28,749 --> 00:02:30,920
YEAH,
COME BACK, BUDDY!
24
00:02:30,921 --> 00:02:33,423
(Jim) HEY, THAT BETTER BE
SIGN LANGUAGE, PAL,
25
00:02:33,424 --> 00:02:36,256
OR I'LL BREAK
THAT FINGER OFF!
26
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,927
ANDY,
ARE THE NEIGHBORS WATCHING?
27
00:02:37,928 --> 00:02:39,929
WELL, NO ONE'S OUTSIDE,
28
00:02:39,930 --> 00:02:42,662
BUT THEY ARE
LOOKING OUT THEIR WINDOWS.
29
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:45,164
(Jim) HEY, WHAT ARE
YOU LOOKING AT, MARILYN?
30
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,937
AND JIM SEES THEM.
31
00:02:47,938 --> 00:02:50,940
(Jim) YOU WANT A SHOW?
I'LL GIVE YOU A SHOW.
32
00:02:50,941 --> 00:02:53,204
AND THERE GOES HIS SHIRT.
33
00:02:55,276 --> 00:03:00,210
COME ON, MARILYN,
TIT FOR TAT!
34
00:03:00,211 --> 00:03:02,252
ARE HIS PANTS STILL ON?
35
00:03:02,253 --> 00:03:05,415
TECHNICALLY, YES,
BUT THEY ARE DOWN.
36
00:03:05,416 --> 00:03:07,917
I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOTTEN
INTO HIM LATELY.
37
00:03:07,918 --> 00:03:12,322
I MEAN, HE'S ALWAYS GRUMPY, BUT LATELY, IT'S...
IT'S... (Jim) COME ON, MARILYN! GET YOUR CAMERA!
38
00:03:12,323 --> 00:03:14,224
YOU KNOW YOU'RE JEALOUS.
39
00:03:14,225 --> 00:03:17,298
YOU JUST WISH YOURS
WAS AS TIGHT AS THIS.
40
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,533
MAYBE HE HAS I.M.S.
41
00:03:23,534 --> 00:03:25,375
WHAT'S I.M.S.?
42
00:03:25,376 --> 00:03:29,279
I WAS JUST READING ABOUT IT
IN ONE OF MY MAGAZINES. HERE.
43
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,581
"DOES YOUR MAN HAVE
IRRITABLE MALE SYNDROME?"
44
00:03:31,582 --> 00:03:33,243
YEAH.
45
00:03:33,244 --> 00:03:35,815
APPARENTLY, SOME GUYS,
WHEN THEY REACH A CERTAIN AGE,
46
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:38,948
JUST START BLOWING THEIR TOP
AT EVERYTHING. IT'S A REAL DISEASE?
47
00:03:38,949 --> 00:03:42,222
IT'S GOTTA BE REAL.
THERE'S A QUIZ.
48
00:03:43,754 --> 00:03:47,657
OH, MY GOD!
I DIDN'T MARRY A JERK.
49
00:03:47,658 --> 00:03:52,532
I MARRIED A GOOD MAN
WITH A TERRIBLE DISEASE.
50
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:55,234
A GOOD MAN
WHO JUST LEFT A BUTT PRINT
51
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,838
ON THE WINDSHIELD
OF THE CRANNIS' NEW HYBRID.
52
00:04:03,314 --> 00:04:06,446
HEY, UH, JIM, CAN I TALK
TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING?
53
00:04:06,447 --> 00:04:08,748
YES, MY YOUNG BRIDE.
WHAT IS IT?
54
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:11,751
UM, IT... IT'S ABOUT THIS ARTICLE
THAT... THAT DANA FOUND
55
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:15,325
IN A MAGAZINE ABOUT A
CONDITION CALLED I.M.S. UH-HUH.
56
00:04:15,326 --> 00:04:17,687
IT'S IRRITABLE MALE SYNDROME.
HMM.
57
00:04:17,688 --> 00:04:20,390
I-I THINK IT MIGHT EXPLAIN
WHY YOU KEEP OVERREACTING.
58
00:04:20,391 --> 00:04:22,261
OH, HONEY,
I DON'T OVERREACT.
59
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:25,365
THE REST OF THE WORLD
UNDERREACTS.
60
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:28,868
"CONSTRUCTS ELABORATE
JUSTIFICATIONS FOR ANGER."
61
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,870
CHECK.
62
00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:32,372
OH, MY GOD!
63
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,375
THIS ARTICLE IS EXACTLY WHAT
PISSES ME OFF ABOUT AMERICA.
64
00:04:35,376 --> 00:04:37,408
"GLOBALIZES HIS IRRITATIONS."
CHECK.
65
00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:41,311
JIM,
DO YOU HEAR THIS?
66
00:04:41,312 --> 00:04:44,654
THIS IS FREAKY.
IS HIS PICTURE IN THERE?
67
00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:47,317
OH, COME ON.
EVERYBODY'S GOT A SYNDROME NOW.
68
00:04:47,318 --> 00:04:50,590
I'M NOT LAZY.
I GOT CHRONIC FATIGUE SYNDROME.
69
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,663
IT'S NOT HOT OUTSIDE.
IT'S GLOBAL WARMING.
70
00:04:53,664 --> 00:04:55,064
OH.
71
00:04:55,065 --> 00:04:57,327
YOU'RE NOT HYPER.
YOU GOT RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME.
72
00:04:57,328 --> 00:05:00,500
RIGHT. YOU'RE NOT FAT.
YOU'RE PREGNANT.
73
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:02,672
HEY!
74
00:05:02,673 --> 00:05:04,674
ANDY, WHAT...
WHAT'S THE ONE AT WORK
75
00:05:04,675 --> 00:05:06,576
THAT YOU ALWAYS TRY
TO PULL ON ME?
76
00:05:06,577 --> 00:05:08,738
HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE?
77
00:05:08,739 --> 00:05:11,941
OH, YEAH. "MY BLOOD'S GOT TOO
MUCH PRESSURE. I NEED A NAP."
78
00:05:11,942 --> 00:05:14,584
J... I PASSED OUT.
79
00:05:14,585 --> 00:05:17,316
OKAY. NOW WE'RE
JUST PLAYING WORD GAMES.
80
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:20,520
"MINIMIZES OTHERS' SUFFERING,
FREQUENTLY CHANGES SUBJECT,
81
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,592
DISMISSES
CONTRADICTORY OPINIONS."
82
00:05:22,593 --> 00:05:24,754
(gasps) JIM, THIS COULD
BE THE FIRST TEST
83
00:05:24,755 --> 00:05:26,826
YOU EVER GOT
A PERFECT SCORE ON.
84
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:29,759
THIS I.M.S.
IS A BUNCH OF CRAP!
85
00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,703
IT'S MADE-UP NONSENSE
LIKE P.M.S.
86
00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:38,468
I'M SORRY.
IS IT THE 15th ALREADY?
87
00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:41,040
(car stereo plays loudly in
distance) LISTEN. SHH, SHH, SHH.
88
00:05:41,041 --> 00:05:44,474
IT'S THE THUMPER AGAIN.
HE'S COMING AT ME AGAIN. NO!
89
00:05:44,475 --> 00:05:46,345
COME ON, ANDY. COME ON.
GIVE ME A HAND HERE.
90
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,478
I CAN STILL HEAR 'EM.
I CAN STILL HEAR 'EM.
91
00:05:48,479 --> 00:05:50,620
JIM, I CAN FEEL MY BLOOD
SUGAR PLUMMETING. SHUT UP!
92
00:05:50,621 --> 00:05:52,882
(crash)
93
00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:54,384
WHAT WAS THAT?!
94
00:05:54,385 --> 00:05:56,487
DID WE HIT THE THUMPER?
95
00:05:57,928 --> 00:06:00,530
OH, COME ON!
96
00:06:00,531 --> 00:06:03,362
HEY! WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING?!
97
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,395
WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?
YOU HIT ME!
98
00:06:05,396 --> 00:06:07,397
YOU HIT ME,
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
99
00:06:07,398 --> 00:06:09,439
YOU'RE LETTING THE THUMPER GO.
THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
100
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:12,972
YOU'RE LETTING HIM GO! OKAY, GUYS,
GUYS, COME ON. LET'S NOT SAY SOMETHING...
101
00:06:12,973 --> 00:06:16,075
EXCUSE ME, SIR. ARE YOU TOUCHING
ME? OH, DEAR, THE PRESSURE.
102
00:06:16,076 --> 00:06:18,608
YOU CAN'T LET HIM GO.
YOU... IT'S YOUR JOB TO...
103
00:06:18,609 --> 00:06:21,451
MAR... HEY, MARIL.
HEY, MARILYN.
104
00:06:21,452 --> 00:06:23,483
YOU WANT A SHOW,
MARILYN, HUH?
105
00:06:23,484 --> 00:06:25,485
I'LL GIVE YOU A SHOW.
106
00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:28,588
I'M GONNA NEED SOME BACKUP
AT, UH, 412 MAPLE STREET.
107
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,160
SHOW, MARILYN?
HERE'S A SHOW, MARILYN.
108
00:06:31,161 --> 00:06:34,394
HEY, BABY!
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
109
00:06:40,471 --> 00:06:42,972
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I GOTTA GO TO THIS...
110
00:06:42,973 --> 00:06:44,474
WHOA. WHAT? OW! OW!
111
00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:47,076
WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? WELL, I
WANTED TO TAKE A PICTURE OF YOU
112
00:06:47,077 --> 00:06:49,739
BEFORE YOUR FIRST
ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS.
113
00:06:49,740 --> 00:06:51,741
I'M GONNA TAKE ANOTHER ONE
IN SIX WEEKS
114
00:06:51,742 --> 00:06:54,744
AND SEE HOW DIFFERENT YOU
LOOK WITHOUT YOUR RAGE. (slaps thigh)
115
00:06:54,745 --> 00:06:57,647
CHERYL, I HAVE NO PROBLEM
CONTROLLING MY ANGER.
116
00:06:57,648 --> 00:07:00,419
YOU KNOW, I THINK THEY'LL
PROBABLY ADDRESS DENIAL
117
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,892
RIGHT OFF THE BAT.
OH.
118
00:07:02,893 --> 00:07:08,427
WELL, IF IT ISN'T
THE MAPLE STREET STRIPPER.
119
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,561
READY FOR THIS COURT-MANDATED
HELL YOU'VE CONDEMNED ME TO?
120
00:07:11,562 --> 00:07:13,563
ALL RIGHT, LOOK,
THAT OFFICER TESTIFIED
121
00:07:13,564 --> 00:07:15,865
THAT WE WERE
BOTH OUT OF CONTROL.
122
00:07:15,866 --> 00:07:18,538
AND BESIDES,
I ALREADY APOLOGIZED TO YOU.
123
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:21,671
"STUFF HAPPENS. GET OVER IT"
IS NOT AN APOLOGY!
124
00:07:21,672 --> 00:07:24,514
SAVE IT FOR THE ANGER CLASS.
125
00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:28,618
SAVE IT. OH, DON'T WORRY, BUDDY.
I GOT PLENTY LEFT IN THE TANK!
126
00:07:28,619 --> 00:07:32,451
ANDY, RAGE PICTURE.
(camera shutter clicks)
127
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,525
ALL RIGHT,
GET BACK HERE! HUH?
128
00:07:37,588 --> 00:07:42,061
SO NOW WHEN MY EX-WIFE'S DOGS
START BARKING ALL NIGHT,
129
00:07:42,062 --> 00:07:44,093
I DON'T GET MAD.
130
00:07:44,094 --> 00:07:47,838
I JUST GET UP
AND TAKE 'EM FOR A WALK.
131
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,972
EXCUSE ME.
132
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,805
WHY ARE YOU STILL LIVING
WITH YOUR EX-WIFE?
133
00:07:55,806 --> 00:07:57,547
I'M NOT.
134
00:07:57,548 --> 00:08:01,982
I'M JUST WATCHING HER DOGS WHILE
SHE'S ON VACATION WITH... HIM.
135
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:06,516
THAT'S REALLY GREAT,
HOWARD.
136
00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:09,188
THE HAPPY LITTLE MAN
INSIDE ME IS SMILING
137
00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:12,622
AT THE HAPPY LITTLE MAN
INSIDE YOU.
138
00:08:12,623 --> 00:08:16,796
HE BETTER KEEP HIS HAPPY
LITTLE HANDS OFF OF ME.
139
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:19,498
JIM, IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU WANTED TO SAY?
140
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,101
YEAH. YEAH.
141
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:25,535
WE GOT 41 MINUTES LEFT
TILL THE END OF THIS MEETING.
142
00:08:25,536 --> 00:08:28,207
THANK YOU
FOR YOUR FREQUENT UPDATES.
143
00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:30,209
YES.
DO YOU MIND?
144
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:33,282
SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO LEARN
SOMETHING ABOUT OURSELVES.
145
00:08:33,283 --> 00:08:35,545
THAT SOUNDED A LITTLE ANGRY,
ANDY.
146
00:08:35,546 --> 00:08:37,847
LET'S EXPLORE
THE SOURCE OF THAT ANGER.
147
00:08:37,848 --> 00:08:40,119
OH. (chuckles)
OH, I CAN'T IMAGINE
148
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:42,652
WHAT THE SOURCE
OF MY ANGER WOULD BE!
149
00:08:42,653 --> 00:08:44,824
SOUNDS LIKE
HE'S MAD AT HIS MOTHER.
150
00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,627
YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT MY MOTHER.
151
00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:48,599
I'M JUST SAYIN',
152
00:08:48,600 --> 00:08:52,562
A LOT OF FAT GUYS
DON'T LIKE THEIR MOTHER.
153
00:08:52,563 --> 00:08:55,635
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT
MY MOTHER IS A WONDERFUL CAKE...
154
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:58,067
I MEAN, WOMAN. DAMN IT!
155
00:08:58,068 --> 00:09:00,710
BOB,
YOU HAVE PROVOKED ANDY.
156
00:09:00,711 --> 00:09:02,842
WHAT DO WE SAY?
157
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,014
(sighs)
158
00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:08,948
THE ANGRY LITTLE MAN IN ME
IS SORRY...
159
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:13,624
IF HE HURT
THE FAT LITTLE MAN IN YOU.
160
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:17,026
THANK YOU.
161
00:09:17,027 --> 00:09:19,929
NOW THAT'S AN APOLOGY.
162
00:09:19,930 --> 00:09:21,991
PARDON ME,
ARE YOU AN A.H.?
163
00:09:21,992 --> 00:09:24,694
WHAT THE HELL
DID YOU JUST CALL ME?
164
00:09:24,695 --> 00:09:26,265
AN A.H.
165
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:28,668
MODERATE YOUR TONES.
166
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,800
AN A.H.
MEANS "ANGER HELPER."
167
00:09:30,801 --> 00:09:34,204
BUT, UH,
YOU ARE KINDA BEING AN A.H.
168
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:38,077
AN A.H. IS SOMEONE
WHO ACTS AS A BUFFER
169
00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:41,310
BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR I.T.s.
"I" WHAT?
170
00:09:41,311 --> 00:09:42,812
"IRRITATION TRIGGERS."
171
00:09:42,813 --> 00:09:45,755
YOU WANNA STAY AWAY
FROM THOSE.
172
00:09:45,756 --> 00:09:50,820
BUT WHAT IF I'M IN A ROOM JUST
FILLED WITH IRRITATION TRIGGERS?
173
00:09:50,821 --> 00:09:53,322
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
AND WALK AWAY.
174
00:09:53,323 --> 00:09:56,667
(exhales deeply) SEE YOU
GUYS NEXT WEEK. WHOA.
175
00:09:58,669 --> 00:10:03,302
JIM, EVERYONE HERE
KNOWS IT'S A STRUGGLE.
176
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:07,276
I-I-I DON'T LIKE
HAVING A DISEASE.
177
00:10:07,277 --> 00:10:09,939
I... I-I DON'T LIKE
BEING TREATED DIFFERENTLY
178
00:10:09,940 --> 00:10:13,342
AND HAVING TO PARK
IN A HANDICAPPED SPOT.
179
00:10:13,343 --> 00:10:16,746
BUT THAT'S THE WORK.
180
00:10:16,747 --> 00:10:19,088
AND... AND WE DO IT
BECAUSE...
181
00:10:19,089 --> 00:10:22,823
WE WANT TO GET BETTER.
I WANT TO GET BETTER.
182
00:10:25,255 --> 00:10:26,797
HANDICAPPED SPOT?
183
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,730
IRRITABLE MALE SYNDROME
184
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,902
IS A RECOGNIZED
PSYCHOLOGICAL HANDICAP.
185
00:10:32,903 --> 00:10:36,836
FOR HOWARD,
PARKING LOTS ARE A BIG TRIGGER.
186
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,208
YOU DON'T HAVE A PLACARD YET?
187
00:10:39,209 --> 00:10:43,042
WELL, NOT A LEGAL ONE.
188
00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,745
JIM, I THINK YOU'LL FIND
MANY TOOLS AT YOUR DISPOSAL
189
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,817
FOR ALL OF YOUR TRIGGERS.
190
00:10:47,818 --> 00:10:50,019
PEOPLE WHO TALK
IN A MOVIE THEATER?
191
00:10:50,020 --> 00:10:53,382
SPECIAL SCREENINGS WITH USHERS
THAT THROW 'EM OUT.
192
00:10:53,383 --> 00:10:55,354
EVEN MY WIFE?
193
00:10:55,355 --> 00:10:57,356
ESPECIALLY YOUR WIFE.
194
00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:59,228
TELEMARKETERS?
195
00:10:59,229 --> 00:11:02,762
ALL YOUR CALLS ARE SCREENED
AT A SPECIAL I.M.S. CENTER.
196
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:04,263
EVEN MY WIFE?
197
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,767
ESPECIALLY YOUR WIFE.
198
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:13,372
MY NAME IS JIM,
AND I HAVE I.M.S.
199
00:11:13,373 --> 00:11:16,446
(all) HELLO, JIM.
200
00:11:22,713 --> 00:11:25,154
OH, I WANNA FEEL THE BABY KICK.
MAKE IT KICK AGAIN.
201
00:11:25,155 --> 00:11:26,956
WELL, HE KICKED A
LOT YESTERDAY... UGH.
202
00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:30,389
RIGHT AFTER
I GOT A FOOT RUB.
203
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,792
WELL, THEN OFF
WITH THOSE SHOES, MISSY.
204
00:11:32,793 --> 00:11:35,725
IF YOU INSIST.
205
00:11:35,726 --> 00:11:37,126
HEY.
206
00:11:37,127 --> 00:11:39,829
HEY!
AH.
207
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:41,170
HOW WAS ANGER CLASS?
208
00:11:41,171 --> 00:11:45,074
OH, CHERYL, WHEN YOU'RE RIGHT,
YOU ARE RIGHT.
209
00:11:45,075 --> 00:11:47,076
I GOT THE I.M.S.
210
00:11:47,077 --> 00:11:48,707
(gasps)
211
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,840
AND I GOT IT BAD.
212
00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:52,311
I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!
213
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,483
YOU KNOW,
I HATE SAY TOLD YOU SO, BUT...
214
00:11:54,484 --> 00:11:56,816
NO, I DON'T. I LOVE IT!
I TOLD YOU SO!
215
00:11:56,817 --> 00:12:00,020
I TOLD THE NEIGHBOR SO.
I TOLD MY MOM. I TOLD HER SO.
216
00:12:03,994 --> 00:12:06,496
AND I REALLY
WANNA HELP YOU, JIM.
217
00:12:08,398 --> 00:12:09,959
ARE YOU SURE, CHERYL?
218
00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:13,733
BECAUSE I.M.S.
DOES NOT TAKE A HOLIDAY.
219
00:12:16,907 --> 00:12:19,839
IF YOU WANNA BE MY A.H.,
220
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:22,772
YOU'VE GOT TO PROTECT ME
FROM THE I.T.s.
221
00:12:22,773 --> 00:12:25,775
ABSOLUTELY.
222
00:12:25,776 --> 00:12:27,246
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
223
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,849
HERE, READ THE LITERATURE.
224
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,921
(voice breaks)
I'M EXHAUSTED.
225
00:12:31,922 --> 00:12:35,424
WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS,
MISTER.
226
00:12:35,425 --> 00:12:37,426
YOU HEAR ME?
227
00:12:37,427 --> 00:12:40,860
I LOVE YOU.
228
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,761
(telephone ringing)
229
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,464
THE PHONE?
230
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:47,466
ALL THAT RINGING,
RINGING, IT JUST...
231
00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:50,469
IT JUST RATTLES THE VERY CORE
OF MY SERENITY. CHERYL...
232
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,441
OH, I'LL GET IT.
233
00:12:52,442 --> 00:12:56,305
OH, THAT'S OKAY, BABY.
I'LL GET IT. I'LL GET IT. OHH.
234
00:12:56,306 --> 00:13:00,449
HELLO? OH, GAIL, HI.
HOW ARE YOU?
235
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:02,511
SO MANY WORDS,
SO MUCH TALKING.
236
00:13:02,512 --> 00:13:08,217
OH. I'M SORRY. SHH.
HEY, HEY, DID YOU GET MY E-MAIL?
237
00:13:08,218 --> 00:13:11,191
YES. IT'S CALLED I.M.S.
THAT'S WHY HE'S LIKE THAT!
238
00:13:16,426 --> 00:13:18,898
WHAT?
239
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:22,371
COME ON. YOU DON'T BELIEVE
THIS I.M.S. STUFF.
240
00:13:22,372 --> 00:13:25,876
IT'S NOT WHAT IT SAYS
ON MY CARD.
241
00:13:27,878 --> 00:13:32,342
"I HAVE I.M.S.
PLEASE LET ME HAVE MY WAY."
242
00:13:35,045 --> 00:13:36,385
SERIOUSLY?
243
00:13:36,386 --> 00:13:38,888
YEAH. THEY GAVE ME THIS
AT THE MEETING.
244
00:13:38,889 --> 00:13:41,090
I AM OFFICIALLY A VICTIM.
245
00:13:41,091 --> 00:13:43,893
OH, COME ON.
YOU'RE JUST WORKING CHERYL,
246
00:13:43,894 --> 00:13:46,395
AND UNTIL I HATCH THIS EGG,
THAT'S MY RACKET.
247
00:13:46,396 --> 00:13:48,998
WAS YOUR RACKET, DANA.
248
00:13:48,999 --> 00:13:52,902
I GOT I.M.S.,
SO SHUT YOUR Y-A-P.
249
00:13:52,903 --> 00:13:55,905
CHERYL, HE IS JUST TELLING YOU
HE HAS I.M.S.
250
00:13:55,906 --> 00:13:58,167
BECAUSE THAT'S
WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR.
251
00:13:58,168 --> 00:14:00,169
HE'S FAKING. HE'S FAKING. IRRITATION
TRIGGER. IRRITATION TRIGGER.
252
00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:03,413
IRRITATION TRIGGER!
253
00:14:06,276 --> 00:14:09,548
DANA,
MAYBE YOU SHOULD LEAVE.
254
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:11,881
WHAT?!
YOU'RE BUYING THIS?!
255
00:14:11,882 --> 00:14:16,555
HONEY, SHE'S HURTING
THE SAD LITTLE MAN INSIDE ME.
256
00:14:16,556 --> 00:14:18,457
I'M SORRY, BABY.
257
00:14:18,458 --> 00:14:21,230
DANA, I'M SORRY, BUT JIM
HAS A MEDICAL CONDITION.
258
00:14:21,231 --> 00:14:22,932
NO, HE DOESN'T.
259
00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:26,866
YES, I DO. IT SAYS IT
RIGHT HERE ON MY TOTE BAG.
260
00:14:28,168 --> 00:14:29,398
(scoffs)
261
00:14:29,399 --> 00:14:30,869
THE BABY'S KICKING.
262
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,943
AW. STEP BACK, SWEETIE.
263
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:38,577
THANK YOU, CHERYL.
OH.
264
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,080
YOU KNOW WHAT THE GUYS
SAID AT THE MEETING?
265
00:14:41,081 --> 00:14:45,185
WHAT? THEY SAID THAT
SHOWER SEX SOMETIMES HELPS.
266
00:14:49,459 --> 00:14:51,991
AND, UH, AFTER THEY RECEIVED
MY DOCTOR'S NOTE,
267
00:14:51,992 --> 00:14:53,892
I GOT A SPECIAL STICKER
THAT, LETS ME, UH,
268
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,895
DRIVE IN THE CAR POOL LANE,
EVEN WHEN I'M BY MYSELF.
269
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,498
(inhales deeply)
THAT, UH...
270
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,571
SHOULD HELP WITH MY ROAD RAGE.
271
00:15:05,375 --> 00:15:09,979
UH... WOW.
GREAT GROWTH THERE, BOB.
272
00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:13,442
HEY, COULD I GET
THE NAME OF THAT DOCTOR?
273
00:15:13,443 --> 00:15:16,085
TEACHING MOMENT.
274
00:15:16,086 --> 00:15:19,248
"ANGER SPURNED
EQUALS LESSON LEARNED."
275
00:15:19,249 --> 00:15:20,950
THAT'S MINE.
276
00:15:20,951 --> 00:15:24,353
NO, NO, NO, ACTUALLY, I SAID
THAT LAST WEEK. THAT'S MINE!
277
00:15:24,354 --> 00:15:27,096
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
HOWARD SAID IT.
278
00:15:27,097 --> 00:15:29,128
WE TALKED ABOUT
PUTTING IT ON COFFEE MUGS.
279
00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:31,160
AND LITTLE PILLOWS
AND... AND TINY, LITTLE SWEATERS...
280
00:15:31,161 --> 00:15:34,563
NOW LET'S WELCOME
A NEW MEMBER TO OUR GROUP.
281
00:15:34,564 --> 00:15:37,236
PLEASE WELCOME DAVID.
282
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,638
(all) HELLO, DAVID.
283
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:42,071
WHAT WAS IT, DAVID,
THAT BROUGHT YOU HERE?
284
00:15:42,072 --> 00:15:44,013
PAINT YOUR JOURNEY FOR US.
285
00:15:44,014 --> 00:15:49,118
THE JUDGE KINDA MADE ME
'CAUSE THE COPS PULLED ME OVER
286
00:15:49,119 --> 00:15:53,023
FOR PLAYING MY CAR STEREO
TOO LOUD.
287
00:16:02,062 --> 00:16:04,593
WHAT STREET WERE YOU ON?
288
00:16:04,594 --> 00:16:07,097
I THINK IT WAS MAPLE.
289
00:16:11,101 --> 00:16:12,341
YOU'RE THE THUMPER!
290
00:16:12,342 --> 00:16:15,104
AND YOU'RE THAT NUT JOB WHO
ALWAYS TAKES HIS SHIRT OFF!
291
00:16:15,105 --> 00:16:17,306
(screams)
COME ON!
292
00:16:17,307 --> 00:16:18,577
COME ON.
293
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:20,149
SAFETY STATIONS!
294
00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:24,214
(grunting)
295
00:16:31,091 --> 00:16:34,194
YEAH, I'M ACTUALLY FINE.
296
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:40,129
I KNOW.
YOU'RE PROTECTING ME.
297
00:16:40,130 --> 00:16:42,071
(grunts) COME ON,
FLIP ME A FINGER NOW,
298
00:16:42,072 --> 00:16:45,134
SEE WHERE
THAT FINGER ENDS UP!
299
00:16:45,135 --> 00:16:49,608
TEACHING MOMENT. RIGHT NOW JIM IS
A VICTIM OF HIS OWN... I AM NOT A VICTIM!
300
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,381
I'M GONNA TAKE YOUR CAR
AND DEVEIN IT LIKE A SHRIMP!
301
00:16:52,382 --> 00:16:55,144
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS!
302
00:16:55,145 --> 00:16:57,286
THE VEIN THAT RUNS DOWN
THE BACK OF THE SHRIMP.
303
00:16:57,287 --> 00:17:01,620
HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW THAT? IT'S THE
SPEAKER WIRE IN THE CAR I'M GONNA TAKE...
304
00:17:01,621 --> 00:17:04,153
I DON'T HAVE
TO EXPLAIN MYSELF!
305
00:17:04,154 --> 00:17:07,696
YEAH, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
EXPLAIN IT TO ME OUTSIDE!
306
00:17:07,697 --> 00:17:10,259
YOU GUYS ARE REALLY CHALLENGING
MY SERENITY.
307
00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,301
"MY SERENITY! MY SERENITY!"
308
00:17:12,302 --> 00:17:15,634
I'M SICK
OF YOUR FRIGGIN' SERENITY!
309
00:17:15,635 --> 00:17:19,538
YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I'VE MADE
MORE PROGRESS THAN YOU! I'LL GET HIM!
310
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,370
TEACHING MOMENT!
YOU STOLE MY RHYME!
311
00:17:21,371 --> 00:17:25,214
(whimpers) I'M NOT REALLY
THAT ANGRY RIGHT NOW!
312
00:17:25,215 --> 00:17:28,077
I JUST WANT TO FIT IN!
313
00:17:28,078 --> 00:17:31,121
(choir singing opera music)
314
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,178
WOW. YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT
315
00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:02,112
I'D GET TO KNOW SO MANY
OF OUR LOCAL POLICEMEN BY NAME.
316
00:18:04,414 --> 00:18:08,158
SO YOU HAD AN I.M.S. EPISODE.
317
00:18:09,659 --> 00:18:12,661
THE IMPORTANT THING NOW IS
THAT WE CREATE A SAFETY SPHERE
318
00:18:12,662 --> 00:18:16,695
AND ENJOY
SOME CALMING BREATHS.
319
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,167
(exhales deeply)
320
00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:21,200
CHERYL, I DON'T HAVE I.M.S.
321
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,172
YEAH. YEAH, YOU DO.
322
00:18:23,173 --> 00:18:26,175
IT HAPPENS TO MEN WHEN
THEY REACH A CERTAIN AGE.
323
00:18:26,176 --> 00:18:29,178
WELL,
THEN THAT AGE WAS 6...
324
00:18:29,179 --> 00:18:31,680
'CAUSE, HONEY, I'VE BEEN
LIKE THIS MY WHOLE LIFE.
325
00:18:31,681 --> 00:18:34,513
JIM, YOU HAVE TO HAVE IT.
326
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,845
I-I TOLD EVERYBODY
YOU HAVE IT.
327
00:18:36,846 --> 00:18:38,217
CHERYL, CHERYL,
328
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,349
I-I KNOW YOU REALLY WOULD
LIKE ME TO HAVE IT,
329
00:18:40,350 --> 00:18:42,351
THAT YOU NEED ME
TO HAVE IT,
330
00:18:42,352 --> 00:18:46,155
BECAUSE THEN IT WOULD EXPLAIN
ALL THE WEIRD THINGS THAT I DO.
331
00:18:46,156 --> 00:18:47,426
YOU KNOW WHAT?
332
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:51,330
I WISH I HAD IT, BECAUSE THEN
I COULD DO WHATEVER I WANTED.
333
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:54,303
BUT I DON'T HAVE I.M.S.
334
00:18:54,304 --> 00:18:58,237
I HAVE J.I.M.
335
00:18:58,238 --> 00:19:01,210
YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT
THE FACT... (chuckles)
336
00:19:01,211 --> 00:19:03,542
YOU MARRIED A JERK.
337
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:06,246
I KNOW.
338
00:19:07,877 --> 00:19:10,279
YOU DO?
YES.
339
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,222
OKAY. WELL,
THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
340
00:19:13,223 --> 00:19:16,154
(sighs) JIM,
341
00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:18,156
THE PROBLEM
IS THAT... THAT
342
00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,829
LATELY YOU'VE BEEN,
LIKE, SUPER-JERK.
343
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:22,561
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
"SUPER-JERK"?
344
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:25,264
EVERY WEEKEND, YOU'RE OUT THERE
ON THE FRONT LAWN,
345
00:19:25,265 --> 00:19:28,197
YELLING AT OUR NEIGHBOR,
RIPPING OFF YOUR SHIRT.
346
00:19:28,198 --> 00:19:30,469
I MEAN, IT... IT'S LIKE
IT'S FUN FOR YOU.
347
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:33,742
WELL,
IT IS KINDA FUN.
348
00:19:33,743 --> 00:19:35,344
UGH. COME ON!
349
00:19:35,345 --> 00:19:39,348
IT IS! IT'S FUN...
RUNNING OUTSIDE, MY SHIRT OFF...
350
00:19:39,349 --> 00:19:42,211
YELLING, SCREAMING...
IT IS KINDA FUN.
351
00:19:42,212 --> 00:19:45,254
WELL,
THAT'S LIKE A FOOTBALL GAME.
352
00:19:45,255 --> 00:19:47,256
YEAH.
353
00:19:47,257 --> 00:19:49,318
YEAH, IT IS.
354
00:19:49,319 --> 00:19:53,292
OKAY.
WELL, HERE'S AN IDEA.
355
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,525
HOW ABOUT INSTEAD
OF MOONING MARILYN CRANNIS,
356
00:19:56,526 --> 00:19:58,967
YOU GO TO A FOOTBALL GAME?
OR, YOU KNOW,
357
00:19:58,968 --> 00:20:01,700
GO OUT WITH THE GUYS
OR PLAY WITH THE BAND?
358
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:04,603
YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU
DO THAT STUFF ANYMORE?
359
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:09,578
I DON'T KNOW. I-I, UH...
360
00:20:09,579 --> 00:20:11,610
WELL...
361
00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:14,743
I THINK, UH,
I LIKE IT HERE.
362
00:20:14,744 --> 00:20:16,845
I-I LIKE THIS FAMILY.
363
00:20:16,846 --> 00:20:20,589
I LIKE YOU.
364
00:20:20,590 --> 00:20:23,252
I LIKE TWO OF THE KIDS.
365
00:20:23,253 --> 00:20:26,256
(laughing)
366
00:20:28,358 --> 00:20:33,832
I GUESS WHEN PUSH
COMES TO SHOVE, I, UH...
367
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,704
I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOU.
368
00:20:35,705 --> 00:20:38,707
OH, THAT IS SO SWEET.
369
00:20:38,708 --> 00:20:40,909
GO TO A GAME.
370
00:20:40,910 --> 00:20:43,412
REALLY?
371
00:20:43,413 --> 00:20:45,344
I WANT YOU
TO BLOW OFF STEAM.
372
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:48,617
I WANT YOU TO STOP GETTING
NAKED IN THE FRONT YARD.
373
00:20:48,618 --> 00:20:53,552
ALL RIGHT. DEAL.
374
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:54,883
I WON'T GET NAKED.
375
00:20:54,884 --> 00:20:57,486
I'LL WEAR BOXER SHORTS.
376
00:20:57,487 --> 00:21:00,429
ALL RIGHT, BUT NOT THE ONES THAT
SAY "OVER A BILLION SERVED."
377
00:21:00,430 --> 00:21:02,291
OH.
378
00:21:02,292 --> 00:21:04,764
YOU DRIVE A HARD BARGAIN.
379
00:21:07,337 --> 00:21:09,698
YOU TOLD THE COPS
I STARTED THE FIGHT!
380
00:21:09,699 --> 00:21:13,403
(chorus singing opera music)
26282
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof