All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S07E08.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

drunken taxi chat, and more
break-ups

that you can shake a stick at.

As always, the tans you see
might be fake

but the people are all real
although some of what they do

has been set up purely
for your entertainment.

Previously, on The Only Way Is
Essex.

[yelling over each other]

- What the hell are you doing,
Rick?

Oh!

- What I'm saying is, you're
definitely on your period

and you're definitely not here
to stay.

- What the fuck are you doing

in a hot tub with Kirk and Joey?

Should fuck her, really.

It's a Rolex.

- [Danni] So why'd you say
this, why'd you say that?

- Yeah, but you're looking at me

with this face on you.
- What face?

- How about showing me
a bit of respect, Danni,

I've been a good friend to you.

[dramatic music]

- [Diags] Say hello to her.

Oi, what happened with you and
Gemma?

- I got in the car with her,

saying, come on, dear,
we're going back to yours,

and she was like, nah, nah.

Can't believe it, she
actually turned me down.

The thing is, with me and Gemma,

it's really weird, like, I
don't really fancy Gemma,

as much as I think she's a
pretty girl and stuff like that.

- Oh, she definitely is, yeah.

- I'm definitely not in love
with her.

But yet, sometimes in my head,

I think that we're actually
made for each other.

[laughing] Do you know what I
mean?

- Yeah, you are.

Yeah, I think, cut your
losses and go for Gemma.

That's what I think, my
advice would be to you,

is that you're not gonna
get anyone else now.

The way that you act
around girls is horrible.

So I think--
- What are you talking about?

- You're just like, chauvinistic
and things like that.

- [Laughing] Oh, my god, you're,
what are you talking about?

- I'll give you one, give you
one tip.

Stop, stop, just going to every
girl

that you like musical theatre,

just shut up about it,
'cause it's boring me.

And stop trying to kiss 'em
every time you first see 'em.

- I don't do that!
- You do, Lee!

You did it again!

[arguing]

Oh, my god, do you wanna give me
a kiss?

- No I don't!

- And they're like, nah.

[arguing]

You do think I'm good-looking
don't I,

I'm good-looking.

- No I don't!
- You do!

You've gained a lot of weight.

So it's like, you're lost,

you're looking as you are first
fall.

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

- Cup of coffee?

- Yeah, mum, black.

- Right, what have you been up
to?

- Nothing mum, you know
everything

that's going on with me and Lucy
anyway.

- Yeah, and?

- I dunno, I just feel like
I've let everyone down,

I feel like I've let you down,

I feel like I've let Lucy down,

I feel like I've let myself
down,

I've let her family down,
I've let our friends down

that have always defended us in
the past.

I feel like I've let
everyone down with it all.

But this time was different
from last time Mum,

you know it was, it wasn't like
it was.

- I know, I know it's different,
Mario,

but if you look at it,
you've got two sisters.

And if any of their boyfriends
did

what you are doing you would be,

absolutely go mad with
it all, wouldn't you?

- Yeah, I know, I'd smash
them to pieces as well.

- So why are you doing it to
Lucy?

Lucy's so lovely.

- That's the thing I don't get,
Mum,

that's the thing I don't know
myself, I don't get it myself.

I don't get why I did it again,

because she's the most
important thing in my life.

Do you know what I mean?

But one thing I do know, well
since like,

this whole thing, where me and
Lucy

have been how we have been,

where I can see all, like,
three, four days ago,

she wouldn't even kiss me or
look at me,

whereas now, she's actually,
she's all right with me now.

- I know, but you're gonna ruin
it.

- Well, I think with the
engagement thing

I think we both automatically
felt so old.

We've just both become really
boring.

- Mm-hm.
- Like, every single aspect,

like, we didn't wanna, our dates
would be

going for dinner to the
same places every night.

We'd get up in the
morning, let the dogs out,

the dogs would have a poo and a
wee,

then we'd just do
something else, it's just--

- Mario, but don't you think
Lucy just

gets fed up with the gestures?

It's not something that you can
give

a sort of a holiday, presents or
anything,

what's going on has to come from
you.

I think deep down, you've gotta
show her a bit more respect.

- I want her to be showing her
head,

that she can trust me, that she
knows

that I know that it
will never happen again.

- It sounds deep down Mario,
you have grown up a bit.

[fast-paced music]

- Dad?
- Save some for me.

- Is that nice?
- It's lovely, isn't it?

- I think it's all right, I done
good.

- Really good, mate!
- Done better than dad.

- Did you tell Kirk
who you saw last night?

- Who? Oh, Arg.
- Oh, Arg? What was he doing?

- Singing.
- He was singing?

- On a stage smaller than this
table.

- Was he?
- Wow, that was good.

Was he good, though?
- No.

- Mate! [laughing]

- What do you mean, the
singing wasn't very good?

- He couldn't sing to save his
life.

- Really?

Blimey, he won't be
very happy to hear that.

I can't sing, can I?

Holly's a good singer, isn't
you?

- You sing in the shower.

- What does dad sing in the
shower, Mase?

- Like, 200-year-old songs.

- Why is your voice all husky?

- I don't know.
- He's going through puberty.

- No, no!

- I think he's already
gone through that already.

- Hey!

- You going through puberty now,
Mase?

- No, I'm not!
- Is your voice breaking?

- Not talking about that, it's
rude,

especially at the dinner table.

- Are you?

Got hairs on your armpit?
- Leave me alone!

- Of course he has.

He'll have a beard before
he's got one, wouldn't you?

- Yeah!

- Holly'll have a beard before I
get one.

- No, I will not!
- Yes, you will!

- No I will not!

- You don't grow a beard, do
you?

Pretty girls don't have beards,
do they?

Have you felt that lump
on daddy's chin, there?

- Where? [squeals]

[fast-paced music]

- Four, and five, open your
eyes.

That's it, well done.

Okay.
- Thank you.

- How was that?

- Yeah, I feel a bit chilled
out.

- That's good.
- Yeah.

[phone ringing]

- Bob?

Babes?

- Hello?

- You all right, gorg?

- Gem, it's Bob!

I've been to see a
hypnotherapist about Charlie.

- No way.

- Yeah, you've gotta get
yourself on it,

get on this.

- Is the bloke fit, that does
it?

- He is quite fit, I guess,
for an older man-ish.

- Are you joking me, do you
think they'll

be able to help me, with
my dieting and that,

hypnotise me into not
eating chocolate and stuff?

- Oh, babe, he'll help
you with everything.

I'm gonna go away, write
a list, and come back.

I think we should come here
every week.

The world's our oyster with this
man.

- You're joking.
- He can help us with weight,

phobias, grieving, and
like, unrequited love.

It was really nice, and I
kind of, I've come away,

I think with a little
bit more one with nature,

it was really lovely.

- Yeah, it was twisting you up,
Bob, you just don't need it.

It's like me, the minute I
get stressed, I start eating.

When it's like, do you think the
man

would be able to help me
lose weight and stuff?

- Definitely, I'll come with
you,

there's nothing to be scared of.

But I feel like I've left this
emotional black sack of shit.

- Right, book me in, Bobby, I've
gotta go,

I have so gotta go.

[upbeat music]

- You know what I was
talking about the other day,

about obviously people
been talking about us

and saying things, and I didn't
realise,

which I've since spoke to
her, but Danni Park Dempsey,

she felt the need to go
and talk to Gemma about it

to see if there was anything
more than

them being jealous or whatever.

And the way it's come across
really,

Gemma thinks I've sent Danni on
my behalf.

- Why, how did Danni go
about it then, what did she--

- Well, no, she just went
to talk to her about it,

she just explained to her I
think.

- I said to Charlie, I
said how bad it was for me

to watch her say to my
dad I can't stand the man

when about a year and a half ago

she was knocking on his
door baking him pies.

- I don't know whether
she's having a swipe

to get her own back at
me, 'cause she might think

I've not been nice or whatever.

- I don't think it's getting her
own back,

I think it's just attention,
mate, I think everyone,

everyone's, for some
reason, this is Essex,

everyone's craving
attention for some reason,

I don't understand why.

But I do, you know how I always
come

and talk to you about my
problems?

Oh, I feel like, you've never
got no one to talk to, really,

so if you've got any
problems, tell me as well.

I know maybe that you might be
able to sort them out, but--

- I wouldn't like to burden
you with my problems.

- I'd like for you to, for you
to have someone to talk to,

because if I'm in need for
help, I always talk to you.

- Yeah.
- And I can trust you.

So I'd like if you've got...

Not even to help me out,
like, to help you out,

if nothing, if you ever
just wanted to talk.

- Well, thanks for that.

Appreciate that.

[upbeat music]

- I thought Jess was staying
around Ricky's the other night?

- Oh, I dunno.

I just said to her all along
he's too young for you,

she's too mature for him.
- Yeah, no.

- there's nothing wrong
with him, he's a lovely boy.

- He is lovely, isn't he, yeah.

- But, he is a young boy
who needs his friends

and she's looking for
something completely different,

she's looking for commitment,
she's older, mature.

And I said to her, I
really think you need to

talk to him about it and I
literally think

you need to pull away
and just have a break,

because it's just, I don't
think it's going to work.

- No.
- I don't.

- But he won't give her
the dog, though, will he?

- No, I'm not having no bloody
dogs.

- Got enough dogs as it is,
please.

- No, he can keep his dog,
I'm not having his dog.

[fast-paced music]

- Evening, hello, how are you?

- Good, you?
- We're not late, are we?

- Fashionably late.

- Tea bag, this is Lucy, this is
tea bag.

- Hiya, nice to meet you.

[all chatting]

- You do look really nice today.

- You do, that's true.

- What are you doing, Taylor?

- Jinkford.

Buddy Lauten.

- How'd you two meet?

- Twitter. [laughing]
- Wasn't very romantic.

- This is nice, all being out
together.

- He calls you princess!

- As soon as he saw we
weren't engaged anymore,

he tried to buy the ring off me.

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

- How are things with
Sam, they all good, or?

- We've had a few arguments
recently and stuff, as you know.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Things like that,
it's annoying isn't it?

The thing is she gets the hump,

so then I get the hump because
she's getting the hump,

and then there's an argument.

But she gets the hump first.

Say like, she's having a drink,

and I'm in the front room
watching TV.

She will go to me, like, why
are you watching the TV for?

I'll be like, 'cause I'm
watching TV.

I'm not, you're not, you turn
the TV off,

then you come in here and join
me.

- What you're trying to say is
that Sam

can be quite controlling
sometimes?

- But she tries using reserve--
reserve...

What is it? Reserve?
- Reverse psychology.

- That's what she was
using, reverse psychology,

and it don't work.
- That just confuses you.

- Yeah, it confuses me
so much, it makes me...

It makes me reverse that and
go and do what I wanna do.

[laughing]

- So you're saying you
reverse reverse psychology?

- I reverse, her reverse
psychology.

[laughing]

How nuts is that?

It's so weird.

- Obviously, look, all couples
argue,

so you argue a little bit, but
in general,

you are a great couple,

and I think you argue less
than most couples, so,

what's the next step, what's
the next thing in line?

- what is the next step?

Oh, what, you mean marriage?

Is that what you mean?

- Maybe not marriage, I
couldn't really imagine

you getting married but
it don't seem far off

for you and Sam to maybe...

- Get engaged?
- I dunno, what do you reckon?

- I dunno when it's gonna
happen,

but it will be between
today and the next 8 months,

that's what I've said to her.

- That's quite a big sort of...

- What?
- Window.

[upbeat music]

- I'm actually really happy

for the first time in a long
time, do you know what I mean,

with actually with Taylor at the
minute.

Like, you know, she's met
everyone,

you know, and now she's part of
the group.

- Watching my guy grow up.

- Oh, don't be so sensitive!

- It's good, no, I do like it. I
miss you.

- How do you miss me?
- I miss you.

- Rick, you're always around
mine.

- I know, but I make time for
you and I don't get it back.

- Is that how you feel?
- That's how I feel right now.

At the moment, because it's a--

- That's a bit harsh, Rick.

If you ask Jess, if you was to
ask Jess,

it would be the same, I
bet if I said to Taylor,

does Chris lob you off to
see me she wouldn't say yes,

but if you asked Jess
she would be like, yeah,

you're always at Chris's, that's
because

I want to see you man,
don't let the man love die,

that's the problem with these
days man.

- I'm not gonna let the man love
die!

- Everyone, listen, I
love being with Jess,

and it's great, but--
- Is it, is it?

- I've got my boys.
- Is it great?

- I love my boys, yes.
- Is it great?

- Yes, it is great.

But I love my boys, I
love my boys as well.

- He's just weird, he'll
choose to see his mates

over me on like a Saturday
night, we've got nothing to do.

The worst part about it is
that when we first got together

he was talking about marriage
and all this

and because I'm older than him I
thought,

maybe now I've met someone
that it might happen with,

and now I just don't know.

- Oh, Jess.

- I don't want him to get hurt,
and I don't wanna get hurt.

- I'm actually so nervous.

- I would be mate, look
at all the people here.

- This is one of my biggest ever
gigs.

[laughing]

- When we go in you're singing.

- The weather ain't great,

but that's not going to let us
spoil it.

Just look at Glastonbury, all
the artists at Glastonbury

have to perform in the rain like
that.

- You're basically like
Glastonbury.

Know what, I want to see little
kids

crying their eyes out tonight.

- They will.

- Because they're so
happy you're singing, man.

- Not 'cause they want
someone else on or anything.

Listen, I know Arg has
been back a million times,

but I really feel back tonight.

[cheering]

- Wait, wait, wait, one, two,
three!

- [Crowd] Argie, Argie, Argie!

[dramatic music]

- It's October and we all know

it's Breast Cancer Awareness
month, this is our Pink Friday.

And I just really wanna
bring to all your attention

that actually one in three
women in this country

is diagnosed with breast cancer.

Which if you think in this
room it means two of us.

So I'm going to give the cards
out,

you've all put your £10 in,
haven't you?

- [Everyone] Yeah.
- Good.

- Thank you.
- All for a good cause.

No cheating Nanny Pat, no
cheating.

- No, I don't never cheat on
bingo.

- No, she's never cheated
bingo, she's just...

- I've never cheated at bingo.

- She's just very good at bingo.

- Shall I release my balls, Deb?

- Big time!
- Big time, yeah!

Balls on the table!

- The first ball, boys and
girls, is...

[laughing]

Two and seven, 27!

- Yes!

[doorbell ringing]

- Is that Big Ben?
- No, that's the doorbell.

- Man of the house tonight,
go and get the door.

- I thought that was Big Ben!

- Yeah, I thought it was Big
Ben.

- Hiya, sorry I'm late!

- Oh, hello!

You're looking lovely and pink,
darling!

- I can't believe...

I actually do feel, I'm a bit
light,

I don't care if I'm cringing
myself out or embarrassing.

I feel like a pop star.

You know, the screaming girls,
I'm sure someone fainted.

- You're Justin now.

- I wouldn't say I was Justin
Bieber.

- No, Justin Argent.

- I'd say I was somewhere in
between

the style of Michael Bublé,

the presence of Michael
Jackson and the moves,

and the youth of Justin
Bieber and One Direction.

- Oh, I reckon if I was a pop
star,

what would you put me to,
Justin Bieber or One Direction?

- If you was a modern day pop
star,

I'd say you're Justin Bieber,

I'd say I was Michael Bublé,

and I'd say Diags was...

- Oh, that geezer, that
geezer, the ginger one.

- Di's Ed Sheeran.
- Ed Sheeran.

- Ed Sheeran, yeah.
- What the hell?

[laughing]

- He's really good, talented and
stuff,

but look at him man, he's
really, really ginger.

[laughing]

- Nothing wrong with that!

- Am I not so--

- Nah, you got the same figure
as him.

Nice and curved and stuff.

- No, I haven't.
- You have got some ears.

[arguing]

- You're really, really fat!

You can't say that you're
like, who'd you say you was?

- Michael Bublé, he goes
up in weight as well.

- No, he's quite skinny.

- Michael Bublé yoyos in weight.

- Michael Bublé, the one that
sings--

- Oh, my god, Michael Bublé is
known for

one minute he's fat and then
he's thin--

- Yeah, but Michael Bublé is
cool.

- What?
- What, and I'm not?

- No, not at all.

[upbeat music]

- We was just saying before you
got here,

we was filling Bobby
in, about how Mick had

a problem with him saying
that Sugar Hut was a...

- Spearmint rhinos?
- Spearmint rhinos.

- And what's Mick actually
got beef about then?

- Did you know that a Spearmint
Rhinos was a strip club?

- Oh my god, darling.
- But did you know that?

- Right, I don't live in New
York,

but I know Macy's is a shop.

Am I done here?
- Are they stripping?

- Are they stripping in Sugar
Hut?

- What, in Macy's?
- No.

In Sugar Hut, are they
stripping?

- No Mick, Mick wants
to protect his brand.

Mick should make a phone call to
us

because that would show
what a real man he is

if he wants to protect his
brand.

Put your bollocks on the fucking
table.

- I never once said I would talk
to Bobby,

because there is no need
for me to talk to Bobby.

I only said that I would talk to
Gemma

because I saw you as like, we
get on well

and we're friends and we talk.

- Why do you always
like to play the victim?

You like to play the victim
when I was with Lydia,

you like to play the victim
when you seeing Charlie,

you're always a victim--

- I'm not a victim, I'm
not a victim, Bobby.

Yeah, sometimes you're not
asked to do things Bobby--

- Bobby!
- But you do it.

- Take a deep breath!

Just leave it, leave it, leave
it.

- Why have you fallen out?

- It's ridiculous.
- Over Charlie?

- Because apparently I'm a liar,
aren't I?

- No, not over Charlie.

Bobby makes me feel about this
big.

- Can we leave it now?

- You know what...

[arguing over each other]

No, I'm not gonna sit
there and be lied about.

- Don't start! I've had enough
of you always shouting at me.

You're fucking mad.

Do you know what, I don't need
you Bobby, I'm actually done!

- Shut your mouth!

- Come on, mate.

- Bobby.

- I think it's wrong really.

No, it wouldn't have happened in
my days,

to start arguing on a night like
this.

- Sort your daughter
out, Pat, she's drunk.

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

[camera shutters]

- Alright Mark, are they
alright?

- Yeah, they're going really
well.

- Let me look.

- Hello, Dan, you all right?

- Hi girls, you all right?

- You didn't come to get in
one of these bikinis did you?

- No, not yet, no.
- No?

- They look great though, don't
they?

- They do, yeah.

- I like the pom poms on Geri's.

- Geri's like that, she's
very creative like that.

Any, any dress or outfit she
gets.

- She has to change it a
little bit to her own way.

- She has to change it, that's
it.

And we thought that since
we brought the calendar out

and whatever, we've got loads of
inquiries

for photo shoots for
magazines and all sorts.

- Oh okay, so there could
be a job for me here

with you girls, would you like
that?

Aw, that would be great.

- Well I would, because I
can't cope with all this.

- So basically, I'd be helping
you look after the girls,

is that what we're thinking?

- Yeah, you'll be looking after
them.

- Yeah, I'd be looking after
them.

- I need to shed that
responsibility.

People don't fully understand
what the Honeys are about.

You get it, so you get
the job as well, perfect.

- I'm excited, oh, so
I've got the job then?

- Course you have.

- Oh my god, I'm going
to have to celebrate.

- Yeah, we'll definitely
have to celebrate.

- Definitely have to
celebrate, I'm excited.

- Let's start off with one
of our Fridays in here.

- Yeah, definitely.

[rock music]

- Do you know I've just been so
low,

I haven't got a problem with
Danni,

I wanna go and speak to her,
I mean, let's be honest,

we're never gonna be best mates

and making friendship bracelets.

Let's not kid ourselves.

- You never know.
- But we could be civil.

And work on that.

I'm not gonna go in guns
blazing,

but then I'm not gonna
stop the pet shop to go

and get her the milk
tray, and a comfy bed.

Chuck in a toy.

We've got mutual friends,
and it's easier in life

to smile at someone, than it is
to frown,

do you know what I mean?

- I'm sure you don't
feel good about yourself

rowing with her.
- No.

- And, you best not buy
it, because it makes you

look like a bastard as well, to
be fair.

[hopeful music]

- I used to go out with no strip
lashes on

and just my normal eyelashes and
mascara,

my eyes must have looked like
this.

- Yeah, you used to do that
didn't you?

- Yeah, I used to do that.

Yeah, but now, I think
like, you feel braver.

- They open up your eyes, they
do.

- They make such a difference.

- I'm glad we're going out
tonight, I need a night out.

- I think it'll be
funny, I think recently,

the boys have been having

too many boy's nights out for my
liking.

I think it's our turn.
- Yeah.

- They're out all the
time, don't you think?

- That's true, actually,

we haven't had a proper
girl's night out in ages.

- See what I mean?
- Bring it on.

- Yeah.
- Cheers.

- So, how's things with you and
Ricky?

- Oh, alright, not the best.

He's like really lovely and
stuff,

but I just find that he's
always,

always round little Chris's,

I don't know why he just
loves being round there.

Or he won't make the effort to
be like,

it's always like we'll see each
other

and it'll be a last minute
thing, it's never like--

- Planning something to do
something.

- Yeah, and I just feel like,

and recently things started
to get a bit too much and--

- Youse two are still
such a current couple,

Like me and Joey are, even
like what you and Greg are.

You've been going out
for just over a year.

He should still want to spend
that time

with you at the weekend
other than his friends

because he's seeing them
in the week all the time.

- I'm not going mad, am
I, you would be the same?

- I feel like I'm a burden,
and I shouldn't feel like that.

- What are you gonna say to him,
though,

when you confront him?
- Literally not a clue.

'Cause like I said,
nothing comes out right.

To him, it's gonna seem like
I'm making a massive deal

out of this, and he's
gonna be really angry

that I've even spoke to people
about it,

but it's because it's for me,
inside,

it's hurting me now, and
it's gotten to the point--

- And if you feel you can't
really talk to him about it,

you're gonna talk to
your friends about it.

- But you have to say to him,

stop acting like an immature
brat, and listen to me.

- He is a brat.
- That's what I mean.

- I think all boys are brats in
general.

- If he loves you like he
says he does he'll understand.

He'll make more time for you.

He won't, like, he won't
do all this all the time.

- And you're only trying to,
like,

you're only trying to make it
better

so you do have a future
together,

otherwise you're going to be
unhappy, he'll be unhappy,

and then you'll end up breaking
up.

So you need to talk to to him.

You need to man up, Jess.

[cars driving]

- Hello girls!
- [Group] Hello, hi!

- Oh my god, I've had the
maddest day ever

and Cara has got stuck in
London.

We've been all like
organising our christening

and it's sort of going
from one thing to another,

we're just having a bit
of a nightmare with it,

she is stuck in London and
couldn't get back in time,

so she apologises that she is
not here.

- So netball girls, here we are.

- Finally having our drink.

- Not that we've even won a
game,

and we're all having a drink.

- We've played one and lost one.

- I've got a very big match
coming up,

I've told the girls, that's
all I'm going to say,

I'm not going to let
the cat out of the bag.

- She won't tell us anything.

- We need to all be matching,
'cause we can't go there,

I'm not being funny,
we turned up last time

and we actually looked like we
can't play,

we've got to like have
all the gear and no idea,

we've got to look the part, and
as long as we look the part,

come on, we're known for doing
that,

at least we look like we know
what we're doing, you know.

- So Lucy, how does it feel
not to have the ring on?

- Oh, my god!

- Weird.

So, I've gotten my nails done
again.

I've still got a tan line, I've
still got a tan line on it.

- Are you not engaged?
Are you not engaged?

- No, we're not engaged.
- Girlfriend again.

- You don't seem very sad about
it.

- I'm not sad, I'm happy.
- I would be so sad.

- I'm happy, and do you
know what, I've realised

that I don't even know if
I ever wanna get married.

- Really?

- Oh, Mario would not be happy.

- But is it because you
don't want to marry Mario

or is it because you
don't want to get married?

Is it because of all the shit
you're going through with--

- You've had a hard time.
- I have had a lot.

But we've come out the end,
and we're loads happier now.

- See I love it, I can't
wait to get married.

- Me too, I'm looking forward,

but I think everyone's
different.

- I would like a crystal ball,
and think,

I know that I'm gonna
get married and be happy,

and if I knew that, then I'd be
like,

right, I can relax now.

- So who's next, who's
getting engaged next?

- Do you reckon you and Joey
will?

- We will, but not yet.

Like, I...

We spoke about marriage since
the day we got together,

like it's for me, it's like
I feel like a little girl,

do you know, it's like a fairy
tale.

But, as much as we talk about
it,

is as much as we know we're not
ready yet.

But if he offers to marry me
I'd say yes straight away.

[intense electronic music]

[laughing]

- Yet again, you've set
me up with stupid...

Well, she's not stupid.

You've set me up with silly
blind dates,

and you've screwed me over with
Gemma.

- You had Jasmine, yeah,
nice body, nice boobs,

everything, really nice, like,
could have taken her home,

but you went for Gemma,
wonderful,

wonderful lady, but WTF, man.

- Since then do you know what's
happened?

- What?

- Gemma all of a sudden now
thinks,

because of you and your antics,

that we are getting back
together and we're in love.

Right, this is what I've
been getting recently.

- [Phone Voicemail] Next
message,
sent yesterday at42AM.

- [Gemma] [recording] I'm in my
flat

and I've got the heating
on 30 and I really,

really would give anything
for you to be here tonight.

Love you so much.

I do really miss you and...

Oh, my god, if you play this to
anyone

I'm going to kill you.

[laughing]

- All right, girls.
- Hello, you all right?

- Oh, Maz!

- I've come to take you
away from the girls,

I've got a surprise for you.

[laughing and cheering]

- That's a bit kinky, Mario,
this thing.

- Silky.
- Put it on!

- My lashes, I'm wearing my
lashes!

- Are you serious?
- [Mario] Yeah, I know.

All right.
- All right, bye girls!

- [Girls] Bye!

- [Mario] It's all right girls,
sorry.

- Bye, guys.

- Sorry girls, enjoy your night.

- The group's getting
smaller by the minute.

- Mario's king of the
big gestures, isn't he?

Boat proposal...
- Yeah.

- When you fuck up so many
times,

you've gotta make up for it
somehow.

[laughing]

- That wasn't the only message.

- [Phone Voicemail] Sent
yesterday 2PM.

- All right, there's more.
- Shh!

[Gemma singing indistinctly
over voicemail]

- The stiletto.

[laughing]

[vocalising]

She's good, isn't she?

- [Phone Voicemail] End of
message.

- Oh, mate.

- So basically, everything
you've said and done,

and 'cause I was drunk,
that's where this lead to.

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

- Hey.
- Hello.

- What's going on?
- I haven't seen you in ages.

- Nah, not been about.

- I think our cab is here, isn't
it?

See you later. Bye.

- Good night, girls.

You all right?

- Yeah, you?

- Yeah, I've come to pick you
up.

- Last one?
- No, I'm all right, thanks.

- Haven't you been
thinking about me and you

and why we've not spoken
about all the shit last night?

- You went off in a little
huff and that and...

You know what I mean, didn't
even know what was going on.

- We went out for dinner
with Lucy and Mario

and Little Chris and you were at
the bar

telling Little Chris that you
don't

spend enough time with him.

- What?
- Might it--

- I told him that he was under
the thumb

I said I would like to see you
more.

- Yeah.
- Wow.

- You weren't saying that to me.

- because of the last couple of
weeks,

I haven't seen him at all.
- Okay, look.

- All right?

- You love me to bits
and I love you to bits

and you don't mean any harm

and I think you try your
best but I am upset.

- Think we're in different
places.

- Yeah, totally different
places.

- I think, I think--
- You wanted a relationship.

- I wanted a relationship, all
right?

- You weren't ready for it.

- But I didn't want this
relationship, all right?

- Well, I'm on the same path as
you, babe.

- No, you're not.
- I just wanna have fun.

- We were not having fun!
- No, we're not.

Because every time I
see you it's a burden.

- It's not a burden.
- Yes it is, Ricky.

- It's not a burden.
- All right.

- All right, well it is a
burden,

whatever you want to call it.

- There's not much more to say.

We want, we both want different
things,

your idea of a relationship
is different to mine.

- I thought I was ready.

- But you weren't.

- I'm just obviously not.

like because if what
we're doing isn't working,

but to me it is, and
to you it isn't, then--

- It isn't working to you.
- It's me!

- You know that I'm not happy.

- It's the fact that I in my own
head,

do you know what I mean,

I'm not mentally ready
to be there 5 days a week

and be there all the time,

like I don't think I'm ready for
that...

Well, you know.

[sad music]

- Hold this a little bit.
- Oh, my god!

[laughing]

- Are you being serious,
Lucy, are you being serious?

- I can't see anything!

- [laughing] What are you doing?

All right, all right,
all right, come here.

I'll go behind you.
- No!

Oh, fuck off.
- Scooch forward.

Scooch forward.
- Mario, no!

- Stand still, okay?
- [laughing] Yes.

Oh, my god.

Aw.

Come on then, aw, it's so
pretty.

Oh, what's in the middle?

[giggling]

Oh, my god!

For me?

- Not yet.

I'm gonna go in goal and
you're going to take a shot,

if you beat me you get the
present.

- Give me the stick.

[sticks clattering]

I've seen the Mighty Ducks.

All right, I'm gonna
go a little bit closer.

- All right, watch my face.

- Ready?
- Yeah.

- Oh, shit!
- What the fuck was that?

- Wait, let me do it
again, let me do it again!

- More at my face.

- Yes!

- Don't fall over.

- Can I have my present now?

- All you care about is your
present.

- Yeah.

[laughing]

Oh my god, they are amazing.

- Yeah?
- They're amazing.

I love them.
- Yeah?

[kisses]

- Can I take my skates off now?

- Not yet.

At the end of the day
that's all I'm all about,

is always about having flash
things

like the cars, the money, the
watches,

if all of that was to go
tomorrow I wouldn't care,

if you was to go tomorrow it
would be the end of my world.

- I love you.

- I love you more.

- Aw.

- Even though you can't skate.

- Oh my god!

I love you too, I literally
can't let go.

I literally can't let go!

[upbeat music]

- Need a drink, man!

- I'll get you a drink if you
want.

- Actually, no I can't drink,

because I'm going to
pick up Sam after this.

- Why are you picking up Sam?

- I thought we was having man
time.

- Yeah, supposed to be boys
night.

- She's with the netball,

but she asked me to go and pick
her up,

so I thought I would go pick her
up,

and she's having a drink
tonight.

I'll probably end up getting in
the car,

you know, she'll probably have a
go at me.

- What, are you rowing
at the moment a lot?

- No, I dunno like, we're
having arguments and stuff,

but I don't really like
talking about it, man.

- Joe, are you all right?

You all right?

- Don't worry about it, man.

- Come on, mate.

Listen, every couple rows.

- I know what it's like.

It's been like this for so
long, mate, and you just...

Don't worry about it mate, I
promise you,

every couple rows, and you and
Sam don't even row that much.

- You don't understand
man, you don't understand,

we're rowing and I don't want to
split up.

- It doesn't mean you're
going to split up mate,

it don't mean you're going to
split up.

This doesn't mean you're
going to split up,

this doesn't mean it's the end
mate,

you don't know what's happened
yet,

you don't know this is going to
happen.

- It's killing me, man.

- I know, but you don't know
what's gonna happen, mate.

This isn't it.

What's the right thing to do,
that's it.

- You'll be able to sort things
out mate, if she's saying,

you know she loves you as well,

you just ain't getting on at the
minute.

Like I said, I think it's just
you see each other too much.

- It ain't man, I love
her, I don't want anything,

I don't want anything.

I don't want to split up.

I want to back the way it used
to.

- You don't have to split up,
mate,

I'm not saying you have to
split,

that's not what I'm saying at
all mate,

because you can sort this
out, you can sort this out.

- Yeah, but I try to
sort it out all the time.

- I know, but this is
where this comes to an end,

this is where you got
to give her a decision,

we can either sort this out
or this isn't going to work.

- He ain't going to stay in a
relationship

all his life if he ain't happy.

- Mate, I'm in love with her
mate, what am I meant to do?

[dramatic music]