All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S07E07.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

- [Narrator] This programme
contains interesting eyewear,

a couple of players, and
Joey's entire wardrobe.

As always, the tans you see
might be fake

but the people are all real
although some of what they do

has been set up purely
for your entertainment.

Previously on "The Only Way Is
Essex."

- I didn't want to be with
you Gemma, anymore, did I?

And why is there no lead
to my Play Station either?

- Do you feel engaged?

- No.

- There you go then.

We're not engaged.

- So you're not expecting
him to be baptised.

- [Ladies] No.

- Well.

- No.

- I actually can't stand
Mick if I'm being honest.

Who do you think you are?

- I think if my date doesn't
like animals

and going to an outdoor animal
farm would probably be--

- A shit date.

- Yeah, a shit date.

- Everything you want, this
girl's got?

- You look really nice though.

- Thank you.

[upbeat music]

♪ The only way is up

♪ Baby

♪ For you and me now, ooh

[intense music]

- Touch my hands coming up, one,

Arg, if you do this you will
end up, you'll have a body

like Superman at the end of it.

All the way down, all the way
up.

[Arg gasps]

And down.

Up, down, four.

Five, that's good.

Look at all the girls
that will look at you

when you're nice and fit yeah.

Nice, tanned, seven.

- I'm tanned already.

- So I just thought if
we get the fattiest food

and just sit here, you
know like old people wait

for ducks to come and they feed
the ducks,

so we wait for Arg to
come and we'll feed Arg.

- [Joey] That's out of
order though, isn't it?

- There have it, no!

No!

Do you want it girlfriend?

- C'mon, faster than that.

Push it, come on.

- [Arg] Oh, for fuck's sake.

- And we all write our name
in the bench, "Kirk was here."

- I used to do it when I was
small.

- Touch it.

- [Arg] Oi, Oi!

- [Joey] Oi, oi.

- Oh, for God's sake

- You hungry brother?

You been training, do you want
some?

Chicken is good for ya!

- Stop man.
- Just take this off.

- Have one of them, go on.
- No I'm not gonna do it.

- Have one of them, have a
little bit, have one little bit.

- Just take the skin off of it.

- There's no skin on that, trust
me.

- Oh go on, I'll have that then.

- Go on, boom in your mouth.

Yeah, see there's the skin, I'll
eat that.

Look there's none on that one.

- No, no more.

I'm full up anyway.

- Just one, trust me, just for a
laugh.

- Put it in your pocket.

- No, shut up!

[Kirk laughing]

If I lose weight I'll feel more
confident, like I'll be able

to pull better looking
girls, look nice in my suits.

- Look, I know where you're
going wrong.

- [Arg] Go on.

- Joey told me your chat up
line.

- [Arg] What's my chat up line?

- I want to kiss you on the
lips.

- Joey, I've never ever.

[Kirk laughs]

- You do!

- Right, I'm going to carry on
training,

thanks for the offer for
the chicken and chips

but it's a new Arg, it's a new
dawn

and it's a new day and I'm gonna
crack on.

- Ready, steady!

Go!
- Go.

[boys laughing]

[upbeat music]

- Oh my god, that is such a cute
gesture!

Tom, that is so cute!
- Happy birthday.

Do you like it?

- Thank you.
- How cool is it though?

Look it says,

- [Both] Happy first birthday.

- Bella Sorella.
- Aww, you're so cute.

It's got balloons inside it.

- I know, it's a balloon in
ballon, innit?

- That is so cool.

- I know.
- How did you do that?

- Just years of practise.

- [laughs] Thank-- [screams]

- What have you done?
- Oh my god, I've popped it!

- You burst it!
- I've popped it, shit!

- You having a laugh?

- Tom, what we gonna do?

- You've just ruined my present.

- Oh my god, put some cello tape
on it.

- That take me days.

- Oh my god, so sorry.

I've smashed it on the
chandelier.

Take your finger off.

There we go, good as new.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's
not gonna last very long.

- You just broke me heart.

- [Lydia] I'm so sorry!

- D'you know how long that took?

- Thank you, I'm sorry.

- It's all right.

- How are you, good?

- I'm good.

How are you?

- I'm good, I'm good.
- Your legs are out.

- I know, I know.
- You've got skinny legs.

- I am a little bit upset, not
gonna lie.

- About what, the whole?

- Mariolla hates me!

Am I a prick?

- Only sometimes a prick.

You're not always, d'you know
what I mean?

But you were a bit busy.

- Yeah but I was only being busy

'cause Lucy asked me to, Tom.
- That's okay, I know.

- Lucy said,

I didn't really want to call out
Mario.

Lucy said, "Lydia, please
can you call out Mario.

"and just explain from
the girl's perspective."

- I know, you've been a friend.

- So I was just being a friend
in need.

Like, just trying to help her
out.

Poor girl, she's going through
so much trouble in her life.

And I thought if I could
help her out in any way,

then that's okay.

And if it means that Mario
disliked me

and called me a prick, then so
be it.

- He's just pissed off
that the whole fact that,

the whole situation and
because you had to be the deed

to tell him, "Look you
shouldn't do it anymore."

What'd you reckon it would take
for Lucy

to say to Maz, "Look I don't
think this is working anymore,

"I can't do it."

- If she just has enough one
day.

If it's just one time too many.

I don't know.

[gentle music]

- I've been learning to DJ.

- [Diags] No you haven't.

- [Chloe] I have!

- [Lauren] Who's teaching you?

- Darrell, do you know him?

- [Diags] Yeah, I've heard of
him.

- He's a really nice guy,

and like, he does really
nice little things

when I turn up to DJ, he knows I
like tea.

- Of course.

- Since the first time I said
it,

he gets me a tea with milk
and no sugar, every time I go.

- Do you wanna do bits, with
Darrell?

- No, don't, like, listen.

You know it's my situation,
like I'm just like--

- Yeah so it'd be nice for
you to have someone to,

like a guy, and he's a good
looking guy,

to spend time with.
- He is good looking.

And he's got really nice hands.

- I ain't jealous or anything.

[all laughing]

[upbeat music]

- You're not bringing that in.

I'm not being horrible,
but it's not gonna happen.

Take them off.

[both laughing]

- I've got everything done,
yeah?

- Yep, come on.

- Joey Essex, Zac Efron.

- Come on, it's not raining in
here.

- So, this is most of my stuff.

This is pretty much all
of it really, innit?

- All of it?

Ah, look, moving in together
now.

Next step of the relationship.

But you remember the
rules, the house rules.

- What's the house rules?

- Saturday night got be home by
three.

If I'm ill you've got to look
after me,

like now for example.

You've got to keep it tidy.

No wet towels, no teabags in the
sink.

- Even if I just like,

leave a little bit of floss
somewhere,

you'd get the hump?

- You've actually got
dirty floss in your pocket?

- Yeah, I was flossing
my teeth earlier on.

- [Sam] Why didn't you
just put that in the bin?

- Because I'm gonna put it in
the bin,

as soon as I'm across the line.

[both laugh]

- [Sam] Come on, you, shut the
door.

- [Joey] I'm locked, I'm in.

[upbeat music]

- Oh my God!

- Do I look fit?
- What the hell?

- [Girls] Cuddles!

- You want to cuddle me?

- Ugh!
- My man.

- Why are we doing this?

- Is this the best
apology you've ever had?

- This would be the best
apology I've ever had.

- It's a bit of a weird apology.

"I'm sorry, here's a sumo."

- Lyd, I think I should give you
my suit.

And you can fight Mario,

and Mario's not allowed
to do anything back.

[Lydia laughs]

- This is so funny.
- Right, ready?

[upbeat music]

- I want you to do it on your
own.

And if you mess up, it don't
matter,

'cause its only me and you here.

So it's not a problem.

- All right.
- Don't worry.

- All right, but when I do it,

you turn around and don't
look, you can listen.

- What, why?

- I feel under pressure.

- I'm gonna listen in one ear,
all right?

- All right, go on, turn around
then.

[upbeat music]

♪ We give it

- I'm not looking.

♪ There's every pressure
beating down on me ♪

♪ We can discredit all authority
♪

♪ I'm starting to feel electric
♪

♪ You're static, static flows

♪ You're starting to

- You got the idea,
the basic idea's there.

But you're coming in too soon.

- All right.

- Remember the two vocals are
gonna clash.

So you've gotta get that vocal
out,

so this one out before the
vocal in that one comes in.

- Yeah.
- Otherwise it, yeah.

- Okay, ready?

- Yep.

♪ We can reproach the society

- Now bring it in.

♪ Every pressure beating down on
me ♪

- [Darrell] Speed it a little
bit.

♪ All authority

- Now listen to the
vocals coming together,

so this one's gotta come out.

[upbeat techno music]

♪ We can't pretend

♪ I start to feel electric

- I'm joking, I'm joking,
I'm joking, I'm joking.

That was good.

That was good, better!

So now you can come and
play at a club with me.

You think?
- Yeah.

- All right, let's crack
back on with this then.

- Okay.

[upbeat music]

- All right.

The rules are.

There are no rules.

Obviously except for Lydia,

'cause Lydia's allowed
to do whatever she wants,

it could be the big fat
bum in the face, so--

- Used to it.

[all laughing]

- [Lydia] Does mine have
bigger boobs than yours?

Is this a girl's one,
and that's a boy's one?

- Yeah I think yours are bigger.

[upbeat music]

[both grunting]

- Mario, I can't believe
you called me a busy prick!

- I can't believe you are one!

[all laughing]

- Use your anger, go for it.

- Ready?

[girls screaming]

- [Lydia] I'm suffocating,
I'm really hot. [screams]

[gentle music]

- They're all just sitting
there,

having a drink and having a
chat,

and sitting there together.

And then one has a swipe,
and then the next one,

and no one come to our defence.

- When was that, around Gemma's?

- Yeah, I think it was around
Gemma's.

- See I like to learn

how you're gonna react
to something off you.

- I'm disappointed, if I'm
honest mate, I'm disappointed.

And don't really know what to
say.

You know you've always
looked after these people,

and they can turn on you like
that.

I just don't know the reason
why.

Bit disappointing really,
the way Lucy said to Mario

that he can't speak to me or see
me.

I've never led him down the
garden path,

he's never been promiscuous
whilst

in my company or anything,
you know what I mean.

I don't know why they would do
that again,

but there's another pop at Sugar
Hut.

Take Richard Branson for
instance

and he has the air
stewardesses, does anyone give

him stick over it.
- No one mugs them off.

- When he has a picture with
him?

Yeah, no, 'cause that's business
isn't it?

Go through my life trying
to be nice to people,

and respect people,

and hoping that comes back the
other way.

And when you see someone
taking a public swipe at you

in front of other people,

to me is like, it's a real
bitter pill to swallow.

[upbeat music]

- Are you still in pain?

- Oh I'm in pain in my back
here.

- Don't you want to try them on?

We've got to look glam.

- I want to but I've got
bandages on.

- Come on, hi ladies!

- Hello.

- Wow, Cara, look at these
dresses.

That is such a bit of me.

- That is beautiful but--

- I'm not being funny, look at
that.

- Billi, that is beautiful but--

- Diamonds, feathers.

- I'm not wearing anything like
that.

- That is me all over,
look imagine you in that.

Now that you're a skinny bitch,

you might fit in it.

- I'm not wearing blue to my
christening.

Can you try on what I pick?

- Yeah, pick that one out, Cara.

Okay, and this one.

- And the ruffle,

and I want you to try the
skater dress on for me, please.

- Okay, come on Elvis, come on
Elephant.

[Cara laughs]

[upbeat music]

- You and Joe have been
together for quite a while now,

you're meant to be living
together.

- I know.

We just argue over the smallest
things.

And like, we argue over
breakfast.

We argue over, like, what
colour this bench is.

Do you know what I mean?

- Does it feel like
he's sort of nit picking

about every little thing or--

- And it's like I don't
know what it is like

ever since like, the last couple
of months

whenever I get drunk, I'm
having a really good time

and as soon as I see him,
it's like there's an argument.

He's like, "Look at you, you're
so drunk."

"Look at that state of you."

And I'm like, "Number
one, that's not fair."

"You got out and get drunk."

Do you know what I mean?

I don't know why he can't just
enjoy a night out with me.

- But I can't understand,

like you're living together now,

so how I can't understand how
you've not

spoken to each other for days.

- I'm not doing it this time.

I feel like I'm always saying
sorry.

But for what for?

[upbeat music]

- [Cara] Have you got one on
yet?

- [Billi] Oh my God, Cara, it's
so small.

I literally feel like a sausage
in a skin.

[Cara laughs]

- I'll have to get you a size
12.

- [Billi] Cara, obviously
'cause we're like

getting christened in a church.

- Yeah.

- I do think we have to

really think about what we're
wearing.

You know, Jeffrey is an
Essex reverend vicar.

Look at this.

- That's lovely, it looks
lovely.

Billi your boobs are out, far
too much.

- I'm not being funny, it
is 2012 and it is Essex.

So I'm gonna try some of the
more nude-y--

- Can you try one of mine on for
me now?

- All right.

- Thank you.
- Yes, Cara.

- Thanks, Billi.

- I'm getting yours on
for you, Queen Kilbey.

Oh my God, it's actually really
nice.

Excuse me, Elvis.

- Oh see, my style is so much
nicer than yours. [laughs]

- Maybe we should wear matching.

- No, I chose that one.

- The thing is maybe
I might wear this one.

- No, I don't think so.

- Why?
- Because I chose it.

- I've got it on, you haven't.

- No.

- Actually, I do like this one.

- No, you don't like that one!

I can't even get up and push you
over.

- I'm sorry, sorry you
can't try your dresses on.

That's what happens when you
have lipo.

- Oh you're such a bitch.

- [Billi] Come on,
Elvis, don't talk to her.

- Ralph.

[upbeat music]

- That's one in there?

- We got the honeys.

If they want to ride the
horses they've got to muck out.

- Hey, Mick's tools are pink.

- It's freezing out, man.

- Are you cold?

- Yeah.
- Put a coat on!

- How are you doing, man?
- I'm good.

- Get that on, son.

- Dress him up, go on.

- I gotta leave yous to it.
- All see you later.

- Nice seeing you, Joey.
- See you later, mate.

- What are you wearing shorts
for?

It's Winter.

- I had a bit of an argument
with Sam.

So all my clothes is round her
house.

- Why are you arguing with Sam?

- I don't know, we always argue.

We always have little bit, we
always argue

about silly things.

- Mate, I know.

I've seen you when you've
had a little tiff before,

and you're in a bad place.

- Whenever we have an
argument, we always make up.

This time, I would say to be
honest,

with the whole situation

we're both being stubborn, both
like,

not really talking.

- Yeah, sometimes I think

that's the problem in
relationships.

There's arguments, arguments,

but you never talk why the
argument is.

- Say for instance,
like, we start drinking.

You know what she's like
when she's had a drink.

- [Mick] Everyone's different
when they've had a drink,

they can't help it, so you
know when she's drunk--

- That's what I mean.

I said to her, "I love you,
and I know you're like that."

But it's just horrible innit,
we go out and she has a drink,

and she starts being well nasty
and that.

What was I gonna talk to you
about?

You know Arg?

- Yeah, I've heard of him.

- Basically, I generally think

if you go on a dating
website to find a girl--

- You've got problems.
- You've got a problem

- Not like--
- It's weird, isn't it?

It's not normal, is it?

- It's not a normal thing.

I wouldn't be like, I need a
girlfriend.

Internet, boom, boom boom--

- That's what I'm saying.

- That's a last resort so that
means something's happened.

- That means you literally
can't get a girlfriend at all.

Do any of you know Argent?

- [Ladies] Yeah.

- Do any of yous fancy him?

- [Ladies] No.

[Mick laughs]

- Don't worry about it.

- On my back, let's go.

I love you girls for that.

- See you later, Joe!

[upbeat music]

- We've both said it's been a
bad omen,

it's been so bad so far,

all it's done is bring bad luck.

- It's gonna be hard to take it
off.

- [Mario] We both know it feels
right

to go back to being boyfriend
and girlfriend and stuff.

- It's really sad.

Right, let's just take it off.

You decide what to do with it,

I don't want it around,
because it's gonna make me sad.

And I would just want
to put it back on again.

- I'll get the diamonds taken
off of it,

and put it into my watch.

- No, you're not having that
done!

- [Mario] Think how
wicked that would look.

With just more diamonds
on it just everywhere.

- Give it back. [laughs]

- Looks quite good on me.

[upbeat music]

- You're on the pull, you're
on the pull, I'm on the pull!

You can help me out!

- We're definitely pulling birds
tonight.

- How you gonna pull someone
tonight in front of my eyes?

- He might pull someone,

but he needs to borrow your
linen shirt first. [laughs]

- So, I'm gonna get you
for that, I'll fuck you up.

- You know what, them
girls there are fit, mate.

Invite them over, Arg.

- Can't do that.

- Yes, you can, be confident.

Invite them over for a drink.

Anybody, anyone.

Literally, invite the girls
over.

- [Arg] How are you?

[upbeat music]

- You're nervous ain't ya?

- A little bit.

- Don't be silly you're all
right.

- I feel like doing a runner.

- Don't be silly.

Here they are.

♪ I'm on the floor, floor

- Three, four.

♪ Bass drop, bass drop

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

- It's all right innit.

♪ Put your hands up

♪ You got a hundred dollar
bill put your hands up ♪

- Look, look see that's
what you're doing that look.

- They like this one, don't
they?

- This is you doing that
though...

- Yay, no us.
- I didn't do, it.

♪ Make noise

[upbeat music]

- Boys I'm gonna go to the
toilet or something, all right?

I'm going to the toilet.

- All right.
- See you in a bit.

- Going toilet.
- Where's he going?

- Arg, Robin does musical
theatre!

- No way!

Robin come sit next to me,
talk about musical theatre.

- Go on, Robin.

Well literally.

- Literally whatever we want.

- We'll like literally
do whatever we like.

- So you really love musical
theatre?

- [Robin] Yeah, I love it!

- Do ya?

- Yeah, I've been in musicals, I
love it.

- What, in the West End?

- Yeah, I was in the West
End for two and half years.

- No way!

- [Robin] In "Grease".

- That's like I've
always dreamed of doing.

- [Robin] You should do it then.

- I know that I'll be in
the West End, one day.

- [Robin] I reckon you'll get
cast.

- I reckon I could be
the new Jason Donovan.

[upbeat music]

- Well done!

- You were rocking it,
girlfriend!

- Did you enjoy it?

Thank you for coming, it was
so good that I could see you.

- You've done so well.

- Can I just say,

you so have to go out with
Darrell.

- Oh my God, Gemma.

Why are you setting me up.
- I've seen the love, no,

I've seen the love in the DJ
booth.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Don't use the love word!

♪ She makes me wanna dance

[upbeat music]

- [Gemma] How great was Chloe
tonight?

- You know what, I didn't think

she could actually do it on her
own.

- She is fantastic, I love
watching her.

And that new fella is so sweet.

- She's not getting with him.

- Are you getting jel?

- Well, I'm not jel, I'm not
upset.

- She will never replace
her Diags, don't worry.

- It's fine it doesn't
matter, the reason why

I actually wanted to talk to you
is.

Arg came back to mine, we'd been
drinking,

but we weren't drunk.

And he sat there and was going
look,

"I still have feelings for
Gemma, I still like her."

"I still love her."

Why are you looking at me like
that?

- [Gemma] You're joking
me, are you serious?

- Yeah, I think that he still
likes you.

- Tell me word for word,
everything he said.

You know what the weirdest thing
is?

I know he still likes me.

- Yeah.

- [Arg] Hey!

- Arg, what's happening?

- [Diags] All right, yous
two should have a chat.

I'll see you later, see you
later, man.

- [Arg] You all right or?

- James, I'm good as gold.

How are you?

- Yeah, I'm fine, yeah I'm
sweet.

- Diags has just come up to me
and said,

"Oh James was really
drunk the other night,

"and he said that he's
still got feelings for you."

- I'm surprised at Diags.

I don't know why he'd
turn around and say that.

I must admit, seeing you now,

and obviously the fact that I
haven't

been able to pull anyone,
it is quite tempting

to you know.

I could easily leave with you,

and go home back to yours
tonight.

Not that I've had a few, I'm
not saying it's the alcohol,

but I've had a few.

- James.
- I could easily.

- You could easily come
back to my house tonight?

And do you think I'd let that
happen?

- Yes
- Honestly?

- Yes, yes!

- James, it ain't Christmas yet!

- I'm joking.

- Laugh all you want.

I do really miss you.

- How much?

- James!

- I'm just asking.

- Looks like you're getting a
cab,

'cause you ain't passed
your driving test yet.

So, what you gonna do, then?

- I'll probably be at yours
in about half an hour.

- James, you're deluded.

[Arg laughs]

- Listen, you've got an
opportunity.

It's up to you, if you want to
take it.

- Do you want me to give you a
lift home?

- You won't drop me home though.

- [Gemma] No, I will, James.

- You won't drop me home.

- You can either get a cab,

or I'll give you a lift home.

What would you like to do?

- I'll go with you.

- Come on, then, you silly sod.

- [Arg] You won't drop me home.

- [Gemma] I will, James.

[upbeat music]

- Oh my God, are you ready for
this?

- I'm so ready, but me head's
gonna go through the roof.

- And what if it comes out
wrong?

- Do you know what, I'm gonna--

- 'Cause beauty if from within,
Bobby.

This is like being in a doctor's
surgery.

- Well, it is, isn't it?

It's medical.

- Are you sure you wanna get
this done?

- Well I've been umming
and ahhing for a while.

And I think now's the time.

- You ain't gonna believe what's
happened.

- What?
- I am so excited right,

are you ready for this?

- I'm nervous now, yeah I'm
ready.

- I was in Faces last night.

Sat there and had the nicest
chat

that I've had with James for a
long time.

Get on this, he gets in my car,

he then tells me, "I didn't
sleep with anyone in Ibiza.

"I physically can't get
anyone after you, Gemma."

[both laughing]

Listen, it gets better.

Then he goes to me, "Can I
stay at your house tonight?"

I went, "No, James, at the end
of the day

"you've just sprung all this on
me.

"What's going on?"

- [Doctor] Good afternoon.

- [Both] Hello, Dr. Botox.

- How you feeling?

- I'm a bit nerves now.

- You definitely want to have it
though?

- 100%.

- [Doctor] Have you
done any reading around?

- I have, I've read
that it was developed--

- It's from Iraq.

- Yeah, it was developed in
Iraq.

Is that right?

- No.

- Or, it was fresh from
the jaws of an anaconda.

So I'm guessing snake.

- [Doctor] I think you've
been reading too much.

- Yeah that's venom for the
lips.

It makes lips swollen.

- Oh see, Wikipedia was no good
to me.

- No.

- [Doctor] Are you ready?

- I'm ready, Gemma, hold my
hand.

- All right, sharp scratch in.

[upbeat music]

[phone ringing]

- Hello.

- Jasmine.

- Oh hi, babe, how are you?

I recognised your voice yeah.

How are you, you all right?

- I just wanted to apologise
for the other night really.

I mean, you know, it's a
bit obviously embarrassing

as it was having to a blind
date with my mate sort of

setting it up, and them being
there--

- Oh no, don't worry, honestly.

- Apparently you said, you
didn't really fancy me,

but I just thought that I don't
know,

I just thought obviously,

we got some sort of similar
interests

and stuff in common--

- Yeah no, do you know what,

Arg, you're really
lovely boy, I don't know,

you're not normally the
type of guy I go for.

But your personality is lovely,
and--

- Anything can happen, but I
just thought

even just have a bit of female
company

or it's up to you if you wanted
to.

- Yeah, 100%.

- All right, cool.

- I'd love to do that.

What'd you wanna do?

What're you doing tonight?

- Well, I'm not too sure, you
know.

Obviously, I'm not sure what
I'm up to at the moment.

- You're welcome to come round.

- Really?

- Yeah, of course.

- All right then, cool.

- All right then, babe.

I'll speak to you soon, ring me
later.

Let me know what you're doing.

All right, hon, bye.

- [laughs] Go on, Argy.

♪ I'll be your connection

♪ Getting something more

- [Gemma] You all right, how are
you?

- Good, thank you for coming.

- That's all right, what's up?

- No, I was just think about
like,

the other day with the whole
Mick thing.

- What do you mean?

- Like how angry you was.

- What's that got to do with
you?

- 'Cause I'm actually gonna
start working for Mick,

and I was like speaking to him,

and he was really, really upset
about it.

- I don't think it's your
concern, Danni.

- Yeah I know, but where I'm
like a woman,

so I thought, instead
of a man coming to you

saying, "Why did you say
this, why'd you say that?"

- Yeah, but you're looking
at me with this face on you.

- What face, what face?
- And I've known you

for a long time.

Show me a bit of respect, Danni,

I've been a good friend to you.

- No but what face, what face do
you mean?

- Like, you're all up in my
grill.

- I honestly thought this
would be a normal conversation,

I didn't think--

- This ain't normal,

for you to be coming to
talk to me, Danielle.

'Cause it's none of your
business.

- How, I've gone to him and I
said,

"I want to work with the Sugar
Honeys."

He's like literally, "I
think the Sugar Honeys

"have been tarnished."

I'm supposedly Hugh
Hefner, I want to be this."

I said, "I don't think
everyone actually thinks that."

- It was a bit of a laugh.

It's tongue in cheek,
Danielle, it's tongue in cheek.

Who does he think he
is, Hugh Hefner, ha ha.

It's funny, Mick ain't gotta
prove his innocence to me,

I've baked him an apple pie,
I've supported his night club.

Don't roll your eyes.

- No--
- 'Cause that's rude.

- Oh my God.
- Very rude.

You are gonna go far in your
life,

because you've got more front

than Woolworths.
- You're being patronising.

[upbeat music]

- Hello!

How are you?

- I'm good, I've got the
champagne ready.

- Oh amazing.

Your hair looks lovely.

- Thank you.

I had a blow-dry but I don't
know why

'cause we're gonna get in
the jacuzzi, aren't we?

- I know. [laughs]

- It's gonna go all frizzy.

This is to our spa weekend.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

[upbeat music]

- Women are doing a spa
in the bottom of a hotel.

I thought well, let's go
look around some nice bars,

and we'll take some ideas,
write some ideas down

and then give them to my dad,
and say,

"Hey dad look, I thought I'd do
one better

"than just being the eyes
and ears in the club."

Here we are, we're here mate, is
it?

It looks alright, don't it Joe?

- Kinda nice.

- Kinda nice.

[upbeat music]

[doorbell rings]

- You all right?
- Hello, hon.

How are you, you all right?

- [Arg] Good thanks, you all
right?

- Yeah, I'm good, thank you.

Do you want to pop in for a
little bit?

- Yeah sure.

- [Jasmin] C'mon, come in.

- You look nice.

- Thank you, so do you.

Can you take your shoes off
please?

- Oh yeah, sure.

- Thank you.

Mom, Dad, this is James.

James, this is my dad.

- Hello.
- Nice to meet you.

How are you doing, you all
right?

- We've been fine, thank you.

- Sit down, babe.

- Hello, to meet you
- How you doing?

- You sure?

- Yeah.
- Sure, sit down.

- Make yourself comfortable.
- Oh sorry.

- They don't bite, don't worry.

- You all right?

- Yeah, good, good, good.

How is everyone?

- Yeah fine, how are you?

- Yeah I'm all right, are you
all right?

- Do you want some snacks?

- [Jasmin] Yeah, go on.

- No, honestly, I'm on a diet.

- [Dad] Grab something, mate.

- Thank you, could I
get just a ham sandwich.

- Yeah go on, have some more.

- All right, cool, that'll do
me.

All right, I suppose one
profiterole won't hurt.

- Okay.
- Cool, okay,

I'll try one of those.

That will do me, honestly.

I promise you, thank you.

- What are your intentions
with my daughter?

- [Arg] Sorry, what'd you mean?

- Are you serious with my
daughter?

- What do you mean?

- Dad it's not serious.
- It's their second date, Dad.

- Yeah, we're just friends,
yeah.

- Oh, you're just friends.

- Yeah, it's our second date,
Dad.

- Jasmin's got similar interest
to me, so

it's quite nice to have a bit of
company,

and you know, I'm sure,
I'll treat her like a lady,

and I'm sure we'll have a
nice time and stuff, so.

- So basically, when yous two go
out,

yeah, on a date,

do they say like, "Oh look, it's
Pavarotti

"and Charlotte Church."

[both laughing]

'Cause you both can sing and
stuff?

[both laugh]

- So you trying to say
I look like Pavarotti?

- [Jasmin] You're so mean.

[all laughing]

- [Dad] Are you gonna be
coming around more often?

[all laughing]

- He's gonna be moving in, yeah.

- [Dad] I don't mind.

- Cool, yeah, wait and see
how it goes and stuff, yeah.

Listen I just gotta quickly,

Joey's just texted, and
I've got to give him a call.

So I'm just gonna go outside,

make a call, is that all right?

- Go ahead mate.

- [Arg] I don't mean
to be rude or anything.

- [Dad] Yeah, no problem.

- [Mum] He's nice, but
he's not your type, like.

- Mum!

[upbeat music]

- This is so nice!

How relaxing.

- Hello.

- What are you doing here?

- [Both] We're having a spa day.

- Where have the bubbles gone?

- Kirk, just fart.

- Please don't fart.

- I'm not gonna fart!

What are you doing here?

- We're having a girly day out.

- Yeah.
- We just ruined it

now haven't we?

- I can't believe yous are in a
spa.

- So, you're not getting on good

with the guys at the moment, are
ya?

- I don't wanna talk about it,

I didn't come out today to talk
about it.

I'm happy, but we're not engaged
anymore.

- What?

- Come here.

- Why are you not engaged?

- [Lucy] We just decided
it's the best thing to do.

- I just don't get it,

how can you unengaged
and be with each other?

It's like splitting up, isn't
it?

[girls scream]

- That was really nice.

- I told him, he's on his last
chance now,

he's never doing it again.

- Whoa, that was nice.

So have you spoke to
Lauren since it happened?

- No, I can't do it, like, I--

- Do you think that's
'cause you love her though?

- No, far from love her.

I'm seeing someone else anyway.

She's like you, she's
pretty, naturally pretty.

Wakes up out of bed, and you're
like cor, ain't you a sort.

Not wakes out of bed and she's
like,

"One minute, let me put my face
on."

I ain't masturbating as
much, and that's a plus.

- [Girls] Ugh!

- Too much info.

- Do you need more champagne?

- Yeah, get some champers.

- I can't believe how random
this is.

- I can't believe yous are here.

- We're going soon anyway.

- This is so random, I gotta
take a photo.

- Ready, steady.

- Don't spray it, Kirk!

Look, don't spray it.

- Don't, don't don't.
- Don't.

[girls scream]

[Kirk laughs]

- Sent it to Tom, this is so
random.

Look who gate crashed the spa.

- [Joey] You've gate crashed the
spa.

- No, you gatecrashed our spa.

- That is so.

Where's Kirk gone?

- He's holding his breath.

[both laughing]

- [Tom] She's left you the ring?

Let's see the ring.

- No, the ring so far

has just been nothing but bad
luck.

More than anything, its
like the devil's diamond.

- Oh mate.

- Seriously, what about you and
Lyd?

- Obviously, looking at your
situation,

I just think, I love Lyds to
bits,

but I don't want to rush things
too much.

[phone beeps]

So random.

- What's that?

- "Look who gatecrashed spa
day, how random Kirk and Joey."

- [Mario] She's coming
'round tonight and she thinks

she staying out, she got
another think coming.

In fact, I'm gonna call her
right now.

- Mate, that is absolutely
fuming.

- So our two girlfriends in a
hot tub with two other boys?

- Literally just poured my heart
out.

- Hello, what the fuck
are you doing in a hot tub

with Kirk and Joey?

- [Lucy] What?

- So why is Kirk in a
hot tub with you then,

popping champagne?

For a picture that Lydia just
took of you.

- [Lucy] Me and Lydia were
in the hot tub, drinking--

- For the last three days,
you've had a go at me

for texting, "How are you?"

- [Lucy] [faintly speaking]
Don't you fucking dare,

we were in a hot tub.

- She can fuck her ring, it's a
Rolex.

- It's an absolute liberty.

[upbeat music]

♪ Don't be long oh

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now

♪ The only way is up, baby

♪ For you and me now, ooh