All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S07E05.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

- [Narrator] This programme
contains diva dogs,

some new surprises and surgery
that shocks even Essex.

As always the tans you see might
be fake

but the people are all real
although some

of what they do has been

set up purely for your
entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way Is
Essex.

- This is so shit.

You ain't got none,

have you got some?

- When we broke up,

he's like I never loved you.
- Yeah he did,

I know he did

because of the emotions

he went through with you.

- I don't like the way
you're being with me.

- If you wanna go home and talk
to wifey

I'm being told.
- She ain't my wife.

- The reason I'm not ready yet,

I hate what people say

and I don't 100% trust you at
the moment.

Fucking idiot.

♪ The only way is up baby

♪ You and me

- Come on, come on, come on.

- I'm back at ya.

Have you heard the latest now
with Lauren?

- [Joey] What's she saying?

- She's seen my dad and
she's like oh I feel really

bad about the way I treated Kirk

when he come and see me.
- You can tell that anyway.

- But I know why she's
saying she felt bad.

- Because she fancies you?
- No it ain't man.

She's realised now that it
ain't worked in her favour,

her being horrible to me.

- Yeah I know, that's what
I said to you didn't I.

- It sounds a little bit
immature on my behalf,

but I've tried to be mature

now and she threw it in my
face, that's it, I'm just.

- Are you gonna give her another
chance?

- Never, will never again.

There's no reason for her to
talk to me like I'm an idiot.

- I don't know why,

I just think there's a spark
there for you two still.

'cause I know.

- The only spark is probably
if she wants to hit me.

- [Carol] How are you
doing with your diet?

- Well, I've started it today,
haven't I?

- As Nanny Pat would say, your
weight goes

up and down like a whore's
knickers.

One minute you're heavy, then
your slim.

- [Carol] I don't think Nanny
Pat would be saying that.

- I dunno, I've just felt a bit

low the past few days
to be honest with ya.

As soon as I finally feel like,
you know,

I was starting to be happy again

I've sort of been knocked back
down.

- Lydia, get it in your head
now,

she's has moved on with Tom.

- I know that.

- They're a happy couple.

Get them out of your head,
get them out of your life.

- Well I'll give you my phone
number

and you can come round and see
me.

- Listen, you're never gonna
be a size zero hunk, right?

let's be honest but you've
also got other positives,

like you're Arg and you're
funny.

- Tall, dark and handsome.

- Right, yeah.

Okay.
- TDH.

That's what you can call
yourself.

- I'm gonna get you a key
ring with T, G, H on it.

- [Arg] What does that mean?

- Tall, dark and handsome
- T, D, H then mom.

- T, D, H

- I was just kidding.

- How's it feel when these
people

keep saying this about you?

You're fat, this that and the
other.

Why don't you do something about
it then?

- That's what I mean.

I wanna lose weight, I wanna
drive

and I wanna sort out my career.

I wanna be in musical theatre.

I wanna be on stage.

- You've got to do something
about it.

You're the only one that
can do something about it.

- Do it now, a new chapter.

- A new chapter, Arg the new
chapter.

- [Mark] If you don't do it,

all you're doing is
letting yourself down, son.

- [Lucy] You all right?

- Yeah, are you?
- Yeah.

- [Mario] Are you okay?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

First thing's first, I'm
sorry for walking out,

I shouldn't have done that.

- [Lucy] I know you shouldn't.

- It's only because I didn't
want

to get upset or get angry,
so that's why I walked out.

- Well, you made me upset by
leaving me.

You shouldn't of dealt with it
like that.

- I know.

What I've been doing
this week like by seeing

Tom and talking to him about it,

I think I have been trying to
find out

loads of reasons as to
why you don't particularly

want to marry me or that you
don't want to get married

so soon when really I
feel exactly the same.

- You feel the same?

- Yeah.
- Like I said?

- Yeah.

Don't get me wrong, I do want to
marry you

and I will marry you in five
years time

or whenever you're ready.

- And what about everything
else?

- What everything else?
- You know, baby.

- What, the trust stuff?
- Yeah.

- Well, why don't you trust me?

What, because you found
messages on my phone?

- The messages aren't bad,
they're not like last time

at all, but it's the fact
that you haven't told me.

And if you went down my phone
and see loads of messages,

all boys, then you're gonna go
mental.

I just don't like the idea of
these girls

and I don't like what they look
like

in their pictures either.

- Okay, you've got nothing
to worry on that front,

Lucy, you know you haven't.

- I know, that you should have
told me.

- I know I should have
told you and I apologise

for not telling you,

like I apologise for
walking out last night,

like I apologise for putting the
emphasis

of the whole engagement
on you, I apologise.

There isn't really much more
I could do than apologise.

I proposed for the wrong
reasons,

yeah, it was the wrong thing to
do.

- [Billi] Elvis, come on.

- Billi, why do you put a
potty bandana on your dog?

- 'Cause I wanted a Dalmatian,

I was getting bored of having a
Chihuahua.

- [Cara] Stop it.

- Oh my God, this church is
beautiful.

- Ralph, come on, this way.

Come on mate.

- Hi.
- Hello how are you?

- Good to see you.
- You okay?

- How are you doing?
- Good thank you.

- Hope you don't mind us
bringing the doggies with us.

- No, no problem at all.
- Are you okay?

Shall we sit down here
is that all right yeah.

- A seat.

- [Billi] I've got tight shoes
on.

- So we're going to go
ahead with the baptism,

have you decided?
- We are.

There's just a few things
we really wanna discuss

with you about moving forward.

Is is the same sort of thing,

do we get baptised how the
baby would get baptised?

- Do you have

to put us in water.
- Dunk her?

- Yes.
- Really.

- Yes, just a few drops of
water.

- Just as long as its a few
drops

because obviously we don't
wanna get soaking wet hair,

lashes and tan and you know all
that.

- No, I'd be very careful.
- Oh okay that's very nice

of you.

- So you're not expecting
them to be baptised.

- No.
- No.

- No.
- No yet.

- So will we feel any different

once we've been christened.

- I hope so.

- I can't wait.
- I might change

my hair colour.

- [Cara] You go brown, I go
blond.

- [Billi] Yeah shall we?

- Is is true that if
you're not christened,

you can't get married in a
church?

- Because obviously we
definitely wanna get married

in a church don't we.
- Yeah I do.

- We obviously wanna get
married in one in Essex,

don't wanna get married
in a hotel or anything.

- Yeah.

- Okay well thank you for your
help.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

- Thank you Jeffrey, bye.
- Bye bye.

- [Billi] How was your
adventure in the graveyard,

find any bones?

- How would you describe my
looks?

What would you say I looked
like?

- My friend is chubby.

- Joey!
- You are, got to be honest

- Right, start of with.

- Right, my friend is.

- Tall, dark and handsome.

- Dark skinned and big ears.

- My ears aren't not that big.

- Your lobes are huge.

- Oh my god, no, they're not,

they're normal ears.

- Occasionally have a shower.

- No Joey shut up.

I have a shower every day.

- If you wanna find girls who
are fit

and who's a proper salty potato

who's gonna smell nice and that,

you've gotta start proper having
showers

at least once a day.

- Joey I shower once a day.
- No you don't bro.

- I do, I shower every day,

it's just today I haven't.

- You can't lie to girls
seriously.

- Shut up Joey.

- Write these out

because I mean it might put them
off

a little bit.

- Right, would you say I'm sexy.

- Romantic, not sexy.

- Some girls might find
me sexy you don't know.

- Right, so what sort of
girl are you looking for?

- I want her to be bubbly,

I want her to enjoy musical
theatre.

- That's gonna be hard,

she might not like musical
theatre.

I reckon one out of 10
girls like musical theatre.

- No, loads of girls do.

- I've never met a girl
who likes musical theatre.

They might like it,
probably yeah it's alright

they ain't gonna be like yeah
love it man,

I got Kenny and everything.

Mate, no-one is gonna
be the same as you man.

- Right, maybe they don't have
to like musical theatre then.

- Right, so now I've
got to take your photo,

because you need a profile

- Nah, don't put a photo up of
me.

- Nah, you need a photo, mate.

- No, don't Joey, don't.

- [Joey] Go on.

- Wait a second, ready?

- Wait one sec.

- Joey, you're taking a picture
of me, not you, wait, wait.

- Ready?

- Oh shut up, go on, go on

- I got it, I got it.

- [Arg] That's disgusting.

- [Joey] Sick photo.

- No, I'm not very photogenic.

- [Mario] Do you want me
to call the engagement off?

- Off or on?

- You tell me.

If it is off it means
we're not engaged any more,

if it is on it means we are
engaged and we're get married.

- Oh no, no wait, don't,
give me five seconds.

- Five seconds.
- No.

- Five, four, three, two, one.

There you go then.

- I still love you baby,

it's not that I don't want to
marry you,

it's that I don't want to get
married now.

- Neither do I.

- No more texting girls.

- No more texting girls
or anything, trust me.

There is one thing I've
got to give you though.

- What is it?

- It is something I want you
to read whilst I'm not here.

- Okay.

- You're not allowed to read
it until I'm gone though.

- I've never wrote you a note.

- There is some stuff in
there that I have already said

to you now, but there is
other things that I struggle

to say to you because I'm
always, like,

I put up a barrier, and I
put a front up of who I am.

- [Lucy] I do love you.

- See you in a bit, okay,
laters.

- Jesus Christ.

- I have been having a
few messages on Twitter

from this guy.

It's been awful, he's been
asking me to meet him.

- You know the rules about guys
and girls,

if you're a honey.

- The guy is actually engaged.

It's like somebody you know.

- Who is it?

- Mario.

- Oh shit
- And.

- Have you met him?

- No, of course I haven't met
him.

- You kept the messages?

- Yeah I mean I haven't got all
of them

because it went back further
than end of last year

when I was away.

- Oh really, let's have a look.

- I mean I have deleted some of
them

from the top but if you look
down.

- [Mick] I can't believe it.

He is fairly persistent isn't
he?

- [Honey] Yeah.

- [Mick] Do you like him?

- No, I don't, not at all.

- Not your type?
- Not at all.

- I like him, he is my
friend, I can't believe it.

- This is why it's awkward,
Mick.

- I'm going to have to have
a chat with him, ain't I.

- [Lydia] What a lovely
surprise, how are you?

- I'm good, how are you?

- I'm good, how is everything?

- Well, basically, the other
night,

I looked on his phone,
you know, when you just

have your suspicions and I just
thought,

I've got to look,
something's just not right

and I thought I'll just look,

I shouldn't of and it erm,

it's this girl's name I saw

and I just saw like what are you
up to

and things like that?

And I thought why should he have
these

women in his life that I
don't know anything about.

- I can completely understand
where you're coming from,

because you've had it happen
to you in the past from him,

but don't jump to conclusions.

- I know that he would never
cheat on me,

but I also think he enjoys
speaking to other women

and is that normal?

- No, I couldn't live with that.

- Exactly.

- Be nice.

- Hello.

- Unfortunately, you and Frankie

haven't made the team.

- We didn't make the netball
team,

so choked right now, not.

That ball was threatening
to take these out.

- You are now part of our
netball team.

- I'm well excited.

- We hope to see you at
training,

we'll let you know what
days and times yeah.

- What we've gotta train and
then what

do an actual tournament?

- Hello Cara.
- Hello babe, are you okay?

- It's bad news.

- It's never bad news, we were
the best.

- We're only joking.
- Thought you might be.

- Hello.

- Don't get offended, but
we've got some really bad news.

- Go on.

- You and Nanny Pat haven't
made the netball team.

- We never made the netball
team.

- Cheek, we were better than
them.

- Cheek.
- Cheek.

- My little boy, my handsome.

- Oh my god look how fat he is!

- [Debbie] He's absolutely huge
isn't he?

- He has got rather grotesque.

He's lost his charm, his Mr.
Darcy charm.

He's quite fat and ugly now.

I just can't believe that
that was two Christmas' ago

when I got him

and I feel like that was just so
long ago,

I was with James at that point.

- But life has to go on,

you may be the Mrs. Kilby that
he wants.

I just wonder whether it's gonna
be you

that's down on one knee Lydia.
- No I'm not doing that,

definitely not, unless it's a
leap year.

When is the next leap year?
- We need to find that out.

- If it's next year then
I'm definitely not doing it,

if it's in 10 years,

if he hasn't proposed to me in
10 years.

- You'll have to do it.

- No, if he hasn't
proposed to me in 10 years,

I'm dumping him.

- You've got no messages,
you've got no MMS,

you've got nothing really.

Maybe we should look for the
other people,

see she looks nice there, mate.

- I think she's all right.

- I'm generally a confident
person,

but rather nervous when it comes

to this online dating malarkey.

- Malarkey.

- Oh, wait, wait, you've got
to send her a message, man.

- [Arg] No mate, what is the
point?

- [Joey] Just one, on the sly

- No mate, I'd rather.

- Mate, for me, for me, just a
quick one.

- I'd rather go on a date.

- Just a quick one, just a quick
one,

literally just hello, what's
happening?

My mate Arg needs a girl.

- Oi, Joe, I don't think
this is a good idea.

I feel a bit embarrassed as
well,

I don't want everyone to know
that I'm trying to get a girl

from a dating site.

I'm sure I can go out there
and pull a bird myself,

I've done it before.

- Well look I'm not being funny,

I've tweeted three times now.

- What do you mean, you've
tweeted?

- I've been tweeting
saying I'm on the side

because you ain't got no
messages.

I thought if I tweet
then people might see.

- Joey I don't want you
to put on your Twitter

about me needing to go
onto dating websites.

Everyone's gonna see that.

- I thought it would be
good because then everyone

will try and talk to you.

- No I want it to be our little
secret

and no-one else knows about.

And now everyone's gonna see it,

all the boys are gonna see
it, my family is gonna see it.

Lydia and Gemma is gonna see it.

- No, don't delete 'em,
read them out first,

look they're good look.
- Get off.

- Look I just signed up my
friend who is James Argent.

- Then you put someone please
talk to Arg,

he's begging you.

Joey, then you put anyone fancy
Arg,

he'll chat to you and maybe
even take you on a date,

begging dot dot dot begging you.

Joey it's not funny.

♪ Begging, begging you

- I don't want to beg people to
go

on a date with me Joey.

- Why?

- Because it's embarrassing,

chuck him on hashtag
plenty of munters dot com.

They'll be queuing up
to take the fast bastard

on a date.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

What you thinking, Tom?
- It's lovely, I love it

- Do you like it?
- Yeah, I love it.

- I think that this is the best
dress

I've ever seen in my life.

This is what I was put
on like the planet to do.

I think that I was like
reincarnated of Vivienne
Westwood,

even though she's not dead yet.

So I'm thinking of like in five
years time

we can move to New York then I
can become.

- Woah, woah, whoa.

- Then I can design your wedding
suit when we get married.

- What!

- I think I'm ready.

- If I went down on one knee
now, would you say yeah?

- I don't want you to propose to
me, no!

Oh my god no, don't do it.

I don't want you to propose to
me,

but when you do I like will say
yes.

- [Tom] How romantic is this,
photo shoot, collection.

- No, do not propose to me.

I want, no, you dare,
because I will be fuming!

I want like the Eiffel Tower,

I want a helicopter to go along

and say will you marry me and
then

doves to be let off and like
fireworks.

- That's a fairytale,
that's not a wedding, babe.

- And then all of a sudden
Michael Buble will run out

and sing for me.

I wanna have like proper like
out there.

Do I scare you when I
talk about everything

like really far in advance?

- A little bit.

You don't want to do a Lucy and
Mario.

- Okay, I'll stop talking about
it.

- Yeah, what do you
think of Lucy and Mario?

- I don't know, something
like really big has happened

and it's just made her change
her mind

and have doubts on it.

- [Girl] Here they are, hey
girls.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Hi right, so girls this is
Natalie.

- [Everyone] Hi.

- Basically Natalie is one of
the coaches

for the England Netball team.

They tweeted us the other
night, they tweeted me

and Samantha saying

oh we'd love to get involved
and help you guys out,

so why not have the best
teacher?

- Just a couple of
things before we warm up

when we're getting into
matches and things,

I will need ear-rings out.

- [Billie] Lucy, lose the ring.

- [Lucy] Do I have to?

- [Sam] She's single!

- [Everyone] She's single for an
hour!

[upbeat music]

- There's this new cellulite
treatment out and I don't care,

skinny girls, fat girls,
normal girls like me get it,

get cellulite and it doesn't
budge.

So I found this new treatment,
it takes up to a month to go.

- What, so you go in there have
it done

and you come out and
you've still got cellulite?

- No, but after a month it,
basically I'm on holiday,

me and you are on holiday
together

you're going to have
cellulite and I ain't.

- Do you have to wee it out, my
nail.

- I don't really know to be
honest,

I don't really know exactly what
happens.

- Say if they like move the
cellulite,

so you wake up in a month
and all the cellulite

is on your face,

do you think you will have like
a facelift

by the time you are 30?

- Never, no, face is completely
different.

- [Mick] You're trying too
hard, move your bum forward,

push your head back.

Look how easy that is.

- [Kirk] Yeah but it
stays there doesn't it?

- Yeah.
- Watch this, I'm so light

that I let go, I'm going back
up!

- You gotta put your
feet on that haven't you.

- But you move, just say
I wanna get the control.

- Put your head back.
- What I wanna watch a film

like that?
- No like this on Fifa look.

- Feel like I'm on a shit
flight.

- Seen Lauren lately or not?

- No, obviously she's spoke
to your in the restaurant.

It's half getting me down now.

- Yeah but do you think you
could be friends with her?

- [Kirk] I thought I could,
yeah course I could have.

- You reckon now you

could be friends?
- No, not now

after she's treated me in
that restaurant, I couldn't.

She ain't there is she?

- No, I'm just watching the
builder walk past there.

You're panicking.
- I know.

- It would be nice if you just
got on

for the sake of getting on.

- I thought I was gonna go in
there,

how are you doing, here's the
dog, do you wanna see the dog

and she was like brilliant.

- [Mick] Maybe the dog was
the problem and not you two.

- Dogs done nothing wrong
though, don't blame him.

He looks sad as it is with that
face.

♪ This is the right time

♪ It's the time for us

♪ It's the time to show the
world ♪

♪ If you dream

- [Cara] Morning.

- [Doctor] Hello, good morning,

how are you, feeling alright?

- I just feel a little bit
nervous, but I'm excited.

- You shouldn't be, you
should be only excited,

it's much easier than you think.

We'll start with the latest
laser to get rid of this

little bit of cellulite which
is troubling you, alright?

Then we will move on

and we remove a little bit
of the fat from the tummy.

- It's really long.
- Don't worry,

we will use this one, it
will go in to under the skin.

- [Cara] Yeah.

- [Doctor] All right and
will suck a little bit

of the fat out as well.

- Ooh, I'm nervous

♪ Stay up late and I
won't need this time ♪

- I'm not really to organise it.

I'm not Bob and I think
everything that we've done,

it's just made me more certain
about it.

- So we're putting a little bit
of a hold

on the shopping for dress.

- Right now, I'm putting
a hold on everything.

Charlie, how are you?

- Alright, how you doing?
- How you doing?

- Thought you'd be in here.

- [Bobby] I' m a bit shocked,
actually.

- Don't be shocked.

You know what, Bob, I've been
needing to see you, mate.

I can't let this carry on.

I feel like it's getting out of
hand,

it's getting ridiculous.

- It has upset me Charlie,
and there's been days,

I'm not going to lie,

I've been lower than a worm's
tit.

I've not been able to get out of
bed.

- Life's too short for all this
Bob.

Life's too short for good
friends, whoever we all are,

to not be talking.

I'm here to be your friend

and I will support you and I
ask you just to support me.

- [Bobby] I'm sorry too.

- Can you have a hug now.

- Yeah, hug, yeah.

I've got one more question
though.

Were you Angelina or were
you Jennifer Aniston?

- I was clearly Jennifer because
I was the one with class.

- Oh, dearie me.

- Hello.
- Hi.

- My little skinny friend, are
you okay?

- What does my hair look like?

- You look gorgeous, look
I've got you flowers.

- [Cara] Oh, thank you.

- I'm just going to put them
down here.

- Oh, my god, thank god you
got me Roses, I'm starving.

- No, babe, you stay it like
that?

You're skinny, I got you
grapes and I got me chocolates,

so you can tell me about it.

I'm not being funny, you
must have had one big arse

because I've been here
for two hours waiting

for you to come out, what's
happened, how do you feel?

- I'm tired.
- Are you sore?

- A little bit on my
stomach and that's it.

- [Billie] Why are you
dressed like a mummy?

- I can't move and I'm really
cold,

so I've got like a hot blanket.

- Considering you've just
like had an operation

you actually look quite glam.

- Are you having a laugh?

- [Billie] You've got full eye
lashes,

how have you got lip gloss on?

- No, it's Vaseline that
they had to put on my lips

because the oxygen mask made me
dry.

- Your hair is still all right.

- I don't think so.
- You're all intact,

you look all right and do
you know that's your fat.

- I know.

- Why is it pink?

That's rose, that is
proper rose and on the top

is the fish and chips that
we ate last night, seriously.

But please, I hope you're
happy with your body this time.

- Me too, now I can like look
skinnier

than you in my Christening
dress.

- Do you reckon you will though?

- [Cara] Yeah, and at least,

soon when I go on holiday my bum

is going to look smaller than
yours.

- Do you reckon?

- Well, quite obviously,

look at the chocolate you're
eating.

Can I have a strawberry one?

- No, all mine.

- I hate you.

♪ I don't know where you are
from ♪

♪ What you're hiding from

- Listen, we're a member short,

we look like we've just
come out a fashion show.

I'm wearing a diamante headband,

they've got matching outfits.

- [Girl] I look like I'm on.

- I'm going to have to go speak
to them,

we need a new extra player.

Girls, we need another
player, Cara's not here.

Cara's having her.

- Sam, what did I say on the
phone to you?

I said you'd be begging me.

♪ It's like gold dust

♪ Ya hear me coming
through your speakers ♪

♪ You see me mashin' up your air
waves ♪

♪ I know you can't get
enough of my sound ♪

♪ It's like gold dust

♪ Ya hear me coming
through your speakers ♪

- Debbie.
- Debbie mark!

What is Debbie doing?

- [Debbie] Come on girls.

- Have we even got one girl yet?

- Right darling, keep the team
around her.

What do you think about Lucy and
Mario?

- Something's missing
in that relationship,

I don't know what it is.

Obviously what I've seen last
night,

she doesn't trust him, that's
what it is,

the trust isn't there.

If she trusted him, I reckon
it would be 100 times better

but it's just not there is it.

- Hi hun are you all right?

No, stop darling, stop, bitch!

- Higher up Gemma.

♪ Let me see you jump up

- I get the ball, I got the
ball!

Darling I got the ball.

- [Chris] Hello?

- [Mario] All right little man.

- What's happening big guy?

- Do you fancy coming out,

because I need a boys night out,

seriously all this stuff with
Lucy lately

I literally need to go out and
get pissed.

- [Chris] Alright then,
what time are you saying?

- Well, I need to go home
and get ready, at the minute

I'm looking like Justin
Bieber stroke Mowgli.

Seriously not a good look.

I look like Mowgli when he's in
puberty,

seriously it's so bad.

- Really, oh jeez, don't
come out like that.

- I still look better
than you, don't worry.

- [Chris] Alright, geez,
alright, speak to you later.

- Ta mate.
- Alright mate, bye.

- [Chloe] I feel alright at the
moment.

I don't feel.
- You seem happier.

- Yeah, I don't feel
like ecstatically happy,

but I don't feel that suicidal
sad, like which I did.

Like literally I couldn't
like wake up in the morning

without crying and
without checking my phone.

And then of a night like
the same, and since then

I've had another conversation
with him

and like he's answered a lot of
questions

that were in my head.

- It's that closure, isn't it.

- Yeah, but I don't like that
word,

that just made my belly go over.

- Sorry.
- I don't like that word.

- How was your date
with Diags, was it good?

- You know what Diags is
like, he had me in stitches,

like he really cheered me up,
so.

- Oh, good, do you think like
Diags

is taking it a bit like more
serious about

taking you on a date?

- No!

- Are you sure?
- Course not.

- Sure, because like you did
say like in four years time

you're gonna get married,

do you reckon he is like
getting a bit excited?

- Well, that is true,
in four years if we're

both not married, we are getting
married.

But to shit him up a little bit,

the other day I went to him,
Diags,

I think I've changed my mind,

I want to bring it forward.

Like if we're not married by
next year can we get married

and he was like er.

Everybody in Essex needs
their very own Diags,

they need someone very diagonal.

- You've got the like
the actual one though.

- It's like having like
the one original one,

isn't it, that's what I've got
in my life!

[upbeat music]

- [Joey] Are you going to pull
tonight?

- I'm going to try
- Go on, son.

- [Mick] Here were are again,
ladies.

- [All] Whey, Kirky!

- How you doing, son, you
alright.

Who's single now, who's single?

- I'm single!

- We're all single apart from
Joey now.

- Are you the only one that aint
single?

- If he come and tried
again to like be your friend

would you mug him off again or
not?

- No, because I genuinely do
feel bad,

like he's going around and
saying like oh,

she made me feel this big,

like I don't want to ever make

anyone feel shit about
themselves.

But he's got to remember he
made me feel like this big

for about a good year after we
broke up.

I don't think he genuinely
means to be a prick,

but it just come naturally to
him.

- Maybe you should send
her a message or something,

give her a text or something,

and say look babe, as a
person I think you are

a fantastic girl or whatever,
blah, because you do,

I know you do, but say
together as a couple

it's never going to happen.

Send her a message and say
you don't want to be horrible

about it, but I struggle to see
you,

I struggle to talk to you.

- If I try and put myself
in the situation with her

I feel like I'm about
to pass out and it is,

people think it don't,

like I never had like anxiety
before,

but it's not, the anxiety.

The anxiety attacks that I had
tonight

and like near-on panic attack,

it's not just happened
with the Lauren thing,

it happens all the time, right.

- Kirk is unfinished business
because it wasn't my decision.

- And seriously, you were
like two different people.

- [Chloe] I know.

- I almost thought you was a
Libra because you were like.

- I am a Libra.

- Oh, yeah, obviously.

- That's what Libras do, they.

- Yeah, but who's the star
sign that's the two people.

Gemini, they are shit people!

- Well, you need to go and
get your head looked at, son.

- Well, that's what I was
thinking.

I'm not like mad or anything,

I don't need to see a
psychologist,

but I want to see someone
to sort it out because.

- [Mario] Alright boys?

- Mate, Mario.

- How you doing?

Look your beard has gone and
now you've got a good one!

- [Chris] Don't leave me
hanging.

- Right, I am going to go
and do a bit more work,

thank you very much for coming,
mate.

- [Mario] See you in a bit,
Kirk.

- [Tom] Are you feeling sore?

- Oh Tom, I'm so sore, I'm
like black and blue, thank you.

- [Tom] How was it?

- [Cara] Well.

- First of all, thanks for even
telling me

that you were getting it done.

- You know what I'm like, I'm
sneaky.

So what's going on with Lydia,

what's all this proposing and
stuff?

- No, I think obviously, like
you know,

I've never had a girlfriend,
have I so.

- [Cara] No I know.

- Everyone says to me like
your first love is probably

one of the deepest that
you're going to have because

you have never experienced it
before.

- Tom, you're 21, I don't
even know why actually

you're discussing getting
engaged anyway.

- Yeah, because I do
like like her, don't I.

I'm just asking for your sort of
thoughts.

- If you want to, do
it, that's my thoughts.

If you want to then do it,
but really think about it.

And I think taking a
look at Lucy and Mario

is something you should do.

- One of my honeys come
to see me yesterday.

First of all she, starts
telling me a story about

someone's texting her and all
that,

and then she tells me it's you,
right.

- Yeah, which honey is it?

- [Mick] Jess her name is.

- Yeah, mate, I will tell you
now.

- [Mick] Not texting sorry, DM.

- Yeah but DM, but
nothing like insinuative.

- She felt the need to
want to show me anyway,

so I looked at them and
I'll be honest with you

I think there was lots
of it was like banter

and all that but I would
question some of that and say.

- What part?

- [Mick] Well, some of
the things she said more

than some of what I read.

- [Mario] Well Mick, look,
some of the things she's said,

do you know what I mean.

- I understand, I understand.

And you know what, the
whole honeys things,

just so you know, they're
just here for the business,

not to flirt with guys, but
to be like be around them

and just to make them feel
comfortable.

- [Mario] Mick, I know
the honeys are yours.

- No, it's not even about mine,
you know,

caring and sharing, the Honeys
are Sugar Hut, that's it.

- [Tom] With engagement, when
you get married to someone.

- You don't get engaged
to someone to be engaged,

you get engaged to someone to
get married.

- Yeah, I know, but like the
engagement

is sort of still the security or
the fact,

do you know what I mean?

- I don't believe so.

- [Tom] Do you not think?

- No, I think you get engaged
to someone to be married,

because you want to spend
the rest of your life

with that person, not because it
suits you

and you're happy now.

Look there's a lot of
couples around that are happy

and they don't just get
engaged because they are happy.

- [Tom] Yeah, but we're like
proper happy.

- [Cara] Well, I know you are,
but still.

- Getting all defensive.

- I know you are proper
happy and it's lovely,

but you've only been together
six months.

- [Tom] Yeah, I know.

- I am sorry for putting
everything on you, it wasn't
fair.

You were right and honest and I
thank you

and love you for that.

Yours always and forever, Mario.

- That is so cute.

- He is good with words,
and he writes like a girl.

- I think it's really sweet
how he's wrote you a letter,

that's like really old school.

I think that with technology
you get lost in times,

don't you, like no one would
write letters

now because you can just text
it.

- Hi I just wondered if I
could have a little chat

with you real quick?

- What's your name?

- Jess.
- Jess.

- Obviously being a girl I know
if I was.

- Oh, don't do this.

- I don't think it's going to be
as bad

as you think so please don't.

- Okay, go on then!

- I just, being a girl I just
thought I'd rather tell you

than not, because I don't
think it's a very nice thing

and I've gotta be.

- I know, I've seen them, love,

they're not that bad so
why are you telling me?

- I was speaking to Mick about
it.

- Because I know these
messages, right, you say.

I've seen messages and
they are normal messages,

there's nothing in them, I've
seen them.

- Well, they've been a bit
flirty.

- Yeah, he is quite flirty.
- Have you known Mario

for a long time?

- [Jess] No, this is what I'm
saying.

- But do you know what, do you
know what.

I feel like you've come in
here to upset me and you have.

And I'm not doing the girl to
girl thing,

because I had it all before,

it's not looking out for me
because I've had girls come up

to me and say things like this
before.

It's not helping me, it upsets
me.

- But surely you'd want to know?

- [Lucy] No, I don't want to
know,

I've seen the messages.
- What were the messages?

- It was just like.

- I don't care, I don't care.

- What were the messages you
mean?

- They were just a bit flirty
like

I was doing an exercise thing
with Mick

and he was there and he was,

messaged me afterwards saying
like oh, disgusting, wink,

and I was like what is?

And he's like your outfit and a
wink.

It's just things like
that and just flirty.

But I don't, I'm not coming to
upset you

and I'm really sorry if you
have.

- So what was you writing
back when he was writing this?

- I was just like what is?

- The thing is love, you're
writing back

and you know he's got a fiancee.

I'm not being horrible to you

but if you think it's
wrong you stop there,

you don't carry on writing back.

- I know you.
- You know me?

- Yeah, but I wouldn't let
anyone upset you, no Lucy.

- Gemma please, because you
know what I've been through,

so don't do this.

- I do know what you've been
through,

that's why she's telling
you because people care,

girls ain't all bitches,
don't have a bad idea.

We work for Mick.

- But that fact is she's
replying, why did you reply?

- I haven't wanted to
upset you, so I'm sorry.

But I would rather, if
I was in your situation

I'd want to know, that's
all, that's all it is.

- [Lucy] Okay.

- Alright, well I will
leave you to it, but cheers.

- Hola, what?

- Humiliated again.

- Humiliated again, no, not
really.

- No, I've just been sticking up
for you,

so don't you dare have a go at
me.

- No, I'll talk to you now.

- I know she's the girl

with the tattoos all over, isn't
she?

Is that not the one with all the
tattoos?

On the t-shirts that you wear?

- No.

- That's another one then.

Oh my god, I just humiliated
myself.

You know I'm not even
hanging around to get upset.

It ain't fucking worth it,
she ain't fucking worth it,

you ain't fucking worth it
sometimes.

- I haven't done anything wrong.

♪ The only way is up baby

♪ For you and me

♪ The only way is up baby

♪ For you and me

♪ The only way is up baby

♪ For you and me