All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S07E03.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

- [Denise] This programme
contains shocking meetings,

netball legs and a telling-off.

As always, the tans you see
might be fake

but the people are all real,

although some of what
they do has been set up

purely for your entertainment.

Previously on "The Only Way Is
Essex".

- You don't realise how hurt I
am.

- You're aggressive, man,
this isn't the Bobby I know.

- There are a few things
that I want to get off

my 32 double G chest.

- I would love to work with you,

not to run people, just
say, "you know what, Kirk?

"That's your little thing, you
do that."

[Arg sighs]

- Good luck, man, you're gonna
do well.

Don't have nothing to
eat in there, no food,

just get your stuff and come
out.

- Arg, you know I haven't been
seeing Rami for two months.

- Just stop, all right?

I care about you and can
I, where's my PlayStation?

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

- [Shane] So, how far are you
gonna get off today, tell me.

- Extreme, I wanna shock
everyone.

I wanna walk in a room
tomorrow and everyone will go

"oh my God".

- Brilliant, so yeah, well,
you don't do things like that.

- Don't go extreme?

There's no point, there's no
point in doing a little bit

and then again and again,
I just wanna go like mad.

- Yeah, let's do it.

- Do it?
- Yeah.

- [sighs] Oh.

Oh Shane, it's so amazing, I
don't want anyone to see it

until Mario sees it, though

so this is why I'm making you do
this.

[pulsating music]

- You know, the whole Arg thing,

all he's bothered about
since we've gone out

is his PlayStation, what a
mug-off.

- What is this badge he
keeps going on about,

I'm well baffled, is it like an
award?

- It is so embarrassing, he's
got, I mean, he did well,

he went to the Kenny
Four and he won an award.

- What is Kenny Four, I've heard
him say it a hundred times.

- It's a theatre.

- Yeah, is it like an Oscar
award?

- That's what he thinks.

- How old was he?

- Let's have a look at it, then,

let's see this brilliant award
[mumbles].

- I think he was about two.

- Two?
- Oh, you're joking.

- The way he goes on.

Right, ready for it, girls,

it's gonna make your eyes fall
out.

- That's it?

[all laugh]

- Looking at his little
award, it's pathetic, innit?

I don't fancy him one bit
anymore, I swear on my life

but it's just like, aw.

[electronic music]

- Hello, come in, it's getting
cold, mate.

- Are you joking?

- [Kirk] What?

- You said you invited me to
dinner,

I thought you was cooking?

- No, I have, but I've
just it in these pots

so it looks like, it looks like,
no.

I thought, instead of
ruining a meal, I bought it.

[electronic music]

What's the business venture
then?

Right, now you've got the
keys, what's the next step?

If I wants to run a little
niche,

something that I can, obviously,
it's yours, well it's ours

but something that I can class
my own,

d'you know what I mean?

- You can be up there
and be my eyes and ears,

you need to be tell me what's
going on.

You're gonna be on the
frontman seat, "are they there?

"Is he there, are they doing
this,

"what does that look
like, does it look good?"

- Oh I can see, I can do that
then, yeah.

- Yeah, I can't be everywhere.

- So my role is being
an extension off you,

that's like a go-go gadget arm,
isn't it?

- Not an extension of me,
my eyes and ears, mate,

as you've gotta be
looking at things for me.

We'll go up there later
and have a look around.

- That's spicy.

- Yeah, Kung Po chicken, is
that what it's called, innit?

- I don't know, I just threw
a couple of numbers at 'em,

thought, whatever we get,
"I'll have a 17, 18, 24".

- [Mick] Is that what you done?

- Yeah.

- But look, Rami's in here now

so he can have all his stuff
back,

d'you know what I mean?

- Rami live here?

- [Gemma] He don't live here
but he comes round quite a bit.

- Does he?

- Gonna say, Gem moves on well
quick.

- Good!

- I don't mess about and
at the end of the day

this is where, I read a quote
once, Zsa Zsa Gabor said

"the minute your man looks at
another woman, jog him on".

- [laughs] Who's Zsa Zsa Gabor?

- [Gemma] She had blonde
hair and everything.

- [Chloe] What language
are you talking right now?

- She's like a famous woman.

- She could be Arg's mate in the
middle.

[all laugh]

- Oh God.

- What did this woman say again?

- She said "the minute your
man looks at another woman,

"even like that, jog him on."

Chloe Sims, take Zsa Zsa's
advice, what's going on?

- It's all gone wrong,
basically, I would like,

you know like I've been on and
off with him for five years,

I'm just about to get my
dream and I get an email

from a girl saying "but are you
aware

"that he has unresolved issues

"with his so-called family
below"

and there was a photo of him,
some girl

and him taking the photo.

- Asshole.

- 'Cause it's kind of like

that he's give her all my
dreams,

like she's been living my life,

what he's promised me, all this
time.

- You are worth a million
percent
more, he sounds messed up.

- He is but I would have
done anything for him.

I've got his name tattooed on
me, his whole name is on me.

[Gemma gasps] And that
girl is trying to tell me

that I'm not like, I'm nothing.

[upbeat music]

- Tom Kilbey!

You're really, really lucky, Tom
Kilbey.

[Tom laughs]

Why are you laughing?
- Why am I so lucky?

- Because now you're in love

with Lydia-Rose Bright, Tom
Kilbey.

- I know, can you believe it,
Debs?

- You know her ups and downs and
traumas

with Mr James Argent himself
so I did wanna tell you

that he did phone me the other
day and it is the first time

that we've spoken on the
phone in about six months.

- Well, that's just weird
though, innit?

- Because what is difficult for
me

is while he still has any
communication with me,

he's not really shut his
link with Lydia, has he?

- [Tom] Nah.

- He never, ever stopped,
they never, as a couple

never stopped arguing.

What he's got to understand
and I do say it to him so much

is "she's my daughter, you're
not my son".

- Yeah, definitely.

- And I don't want you to ever
think

that James is any threat to you
at all,

I know it must have been
really difficult for you

and you've never said it.

I know but you haven't never
said it,

you've never said to me "oh,
I feel like I don't fit in".

- I knew it was gonna
be hard, sort of thing,

I knew that what Lydia had
with her past relationships

and the whole, everything
that come with it

but that's what, that was my
decision,

d'you know what I mean
and I love Lydia to bits.

- I know you do.

- And that's what I
wanted to do, that's why,

obviously, I do wanna see her.

- And I know you love her to
bits.

- And I love the family,
like I love, I know it

but it must have been hard.

- Do you feel, do you feel
like in the family now?

- No, of course, I definitely
feel in the family.

- As far as I'm concerned,
Tom, Lydia's moved on 100%.

I think you're so suited,
it's unbelievable.

In fact, I think you're
Lydia in a pair of jeans.

She wants to be with you,
Tom, d'you know what I mean,

you're the one, she
wants to be Mrs Kilbey.

[Tom laughs]

- All right, mate?

- [Kirk] Hello, you not knocking
no more?

- Don't have to knock,
you left the door open.

- Oh, did I?

- Yeah, you all right?

- Yes.

- You ready?

- For what?

- It's real business today,
mate.

- I thought we were doing the
busy thing so that's why I.

- [Mick] You've dressed smart
for it.

- Dressed up, right, see that,
see that,

it just happens, that
does, you can't help that.

- Then we're gonna go and look
at all the places today so.

- [Kirk] Cool, your car or my
car?

- Helicopter, mate, don't mess
about, you know how it is.

- Really?

- Yeah, five minutes, we're
getting picked up it, mate.

- [Kirk] Really, honestly, a
helicopter?

- Yeah, five minutes, all
right, see you in a bit.

- Do I have to wear anything
different?

- [Mick] Aviators.

- Right, I'll find some.

[electronic music]

- Nice, innit?

- It's all right, innit?

Do I put them on now or do you
put them on

when you get in there, me old
bids?

- You can put them on now.

- Like that?

- Morning Andrew, how
you doing, you all right?

Good to see you.

If you look for the church,
which obviously sticks out

and then you're gonna
go along the Broadway

and then there's the Grand,
sticks out right there,

red brick building.

- [Kirk] Oh my God, it
looks bigger than it does

when you're actually there.

- [Mick] Yeah, you got it?

- Yes, right, see where
this road bends round.

- It's great to see it from here

because what this gives
you a real good concept of

is how much, well, we
call them chimney pots,

how many chimney pots
there are in the area.

So there are your potential
customers, look at all of that.

See that, that is the market,
now this is your legacy,

the family's legacy.

So this is time to man up, Kirk,

that means you've gotta
step up to the plate

and work for it, mate.

- I brought my aviators, didn't
I?

- Yeah, you've gonna
wanna work a bit harder

than to bring your sunglasses
out, mate.

[party music]

- The only way we're
actually gonna decide this

is when we ring them,
see if they wanna do it,

if they come, they come, they
don't.

- [Billie] Yeah, 'cause not all
of them.

- They might not even wanna
come.

- Right, okay, let's just
ring, I'm gonna ring Billi

and see if she wants to come
[mumbles].

- Hello?

- Hello, Billi?
- Hello?

- Hello, it's Billie [laughs].

- You all right?

- You all right, yeah, are you
with Cara?

- Yeah.

- Okay right, basically,
so we was thinking of

doing like a bit of a netball
team?

- Oh, I'd love to do that.

- Oh my God, me and Cara
are so good at netball.

- We used to be in a
netball team, didn't we?

- So shall I definitely count
yous two in?

- Yeah, definitely.

- Okay, girls, bye, bye.

- We're well good at netball,

I was so good at netball at
school.

- We used to be against
each other at school.

- Oh my God, I used to play you,
didn't I?

I was much better than you.

- No, you weren't.
- Yeah, I was.

- You got sent off.

- Right, let's give Jess a call.

The only thing is, if Billi
and Cara are gonna do it,

Jess might have the hump
about being in the same team.

- She won't wanna be on
the same team as them

because all the arguing they've
had.

- Maybe it could be a
chance for them to make up.

Hello, Jess?

- Hello, who's that Sam or
Billie?

- Hello, it's Billie, what you
up to?

- I am in the studio at the
minute,

recording my second song.

- Oh wow, that's brilliant!

- Well done, Jess, congrats.

- [Billie] That's so good,
basically,

what we're gonna do is
start up a netball team?

- Shut up.
- And, yeah.

- Oh my God, that is such a good
idea.

- [Billie] What d'you think,
would you be up for it?

- Bill, I was so good
at netball at school,

I'm goal attack [laughs].

- Yeah, also as well, if
your mum and Nanny Pat

are up for coming along as well.

- Fair enough, my dad won't let
her wear

the little skirt, though.

- [laughs] Yeah, okay then, good
luck.

- [Jess] Thank you, see you
later.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- She was like "no, my
dad would not have my mum

"wearing a netball skirt" [both
laugh].

- I've got a little surprise for
you.

- Is it a sexy one?

- It could be, right, close your
eyes.

- Okay, kids, close your eyes.

- [Lucy] Closed?

- Everyone's eyes are closed,
everyone's are closed.

- [Lucy] Yeah, eyes closed.

- Everyone's eyes are
closed, kids, don't struggle.

- [Lucy] Right, open.

- Oh my God.

- D'you like it?

- No.
- [Lucy] What?

- I'm joking [laughs],
you look really nice.

- I don't feel like I'm looking
at myself

when I look in the mirror.

- You look really different.

- [Lucy] What, you're
gritting your teeth, baby.

- Well, you look really
different, it's not in a bad
way.

- [Lucy] You're gritting your
teeth.

- No, you look different,
though.

It is good you haven't gone
too blonde or anything.

- It's quite blonde, though.

- It's not, I don't think it's
that bad,

it's like a light brown.

- It's not, it's blonde,
it's blonde, Mario.

- [Mario] I'd say it's light
brown.

- But if I'm honest, I was
expecting

a little bit more of a reaction
from you,

I've been sitting in a chair

for over five hours getting this
done.

- No, it's just a shock, I
still think you look beautiful.

- What d'you mean "you still
think"?

- [laughs] I don't mean it like
that.

- Oh my God.

- No, I think you look
beautiful.

So seriously, making love you
tonight,

all that sort of stuff's gonna
be like,

sort of like cheating.

- No, it's not, baby, I've only
got different-colored hair.

[upbeat music]

- Here we are.

- Gonna keep this door, are you?

- What, the metal one?

- Are you gonna keep that?

- What do you think of this,
nice?

- Yeah, looks huge already.

- It is huge, come in here.

Now, this room's gonna take a
lot of work.

This is the piano lounge, this.

- So, you're gonna rip all
the inside out first, are you?

You got a cobweb stuck on you
[laughs]?

- I have got a cobweb on me,
surely.

Yeah, no, we're gonna
rip it all out, new bars.

- What is my role, like I need a
title.

- You don't need no title.

You're a Norcross, that's a
title, innit?

- Okay, but.
- [Mick] Right then.

- I do love working for
you and I actually love it

'cause I can see you're
giving me such a help

but when someone just says,
"what's your job title",

I just wanna know what I'm
doing,

I get up in the morning, I know
what.

- Just say "I'm a Norcross",
that's a job title, innit?

So, that means you're eyes and
the ears

for the family, looking after
the job.

- Yeah, I know, I know all that.

- Forget titles, that's it.

- I like it, so I'm gonna
go get my hands dirty.

- Yeah, timing, I'll call the
girls up,

don't mess around with my girls,

you're not gonna have
any, no time for that.

- I only want one girl.

- Oh, you do?

- Yeah, just the one.

- Who is that?

- I don't know yet.
- Oh, you haven't got one.

- I just want the one
though, just the one,

I'd be happy, you know.

- Well, why don't you just
wait until this project's over

before you think about girls,
I reckon, next year or so.

Keep you busy, won't it?

- Bloody hell, well you've gotta
pay

for my internet bill, then.

- [laughs] What happened the
other night when you saw Lauren

or the other day you
saw Lauren, didn't you?

- Oh, mate, honestly, it's just,

I wanted the ground to
open up and swallow me.

- Why, what happened?

- Well, I just, I met
Chloe in the High Street

and she just said she was
meeting Lauren

for something to eat so
I thought we were cool,

so I just thought "you know
what, I'll just quickly go

"and take her to see the dog,

"she ain't seen the dog in ages"

and she just weren't
happy to see me at all.

She half-told me to go away.
But at the end of the day,

exes ain't gonna get along,
I wanna get along but.

- [Mick] She's not interested,
just chuck it up, then.

- Yeah I know, that's it, that's
it, I'm done, I'm done now.

I've tried to be mature and a
grown-up,

I've tried to say "hello, how
you been",

d'you know what I mean?

And if she doesn't wanna be
like that about it, you know,

fair enough, at least I've
tried.

Right, show me what else I can,

I'm gonna get my tool
belt and hard hat on soon.

- Yeah, that's what you
don't wanna be doing

because if you're doing that,
means you're doing a job

that means you can't assed
with doing the other things.

- No, no, no, it's just
that I can feel it,

d'you know what I mean, like,
you know?

- You've just to make sure
you're looking around,

be everyone's friend.

- I'm gonna be everyone's
friend.

- Good.

- As long as they call
me "Lord", I'm joking.

[upbeat music]

- Next line, go, honey!

[all exclaim]

- You've got blonde hair.

- [Carol] Blondes have more fun.

- Yeah!

- [Coach] Right, come
on girls, let's go then,

we didn't get very far in our
warm up!

- Carol!

[all laugh]

- These bibs stink so
bad, can't you smell them?

- Mine doesn't smell.

- Can you not smell that,
it absolutely stinks.

- Smells a bit musty.

- It stinks, I must have
a really sensitive nose.

[women laugh]

- Danni gave the letter to
Charlie, Danni, you can say,

I don't wanna tell everyone.

- [Frankie] What letter,
what, a breaking-up letter?

- [laughs] It was like, that "I
like you".

- Yeah.

- But I'm not ready to have
like a sexual relationship yet

and that's what a girlfriend
and boyfriend kind of means

and this whole Bobby going
round bitching about me

to absolutely everyone.

- [Lucy] Right but he's not, but
he came.

- I'm angry with another man
about a man,

that's not normal.

[Chloe and Frankie laugh]

- [Lucy] Bob, even, even.

[crosstalk]

[upbeat music]

[women shriek]

- Come on, we're still judging
yous lot, no pushing, Carol.

[jazz music]

- Hello, sweet, I love your
hair.

- [Lucy] You all right, d'you
like it?

- I love it!

- You all right?

- Babe, you so well.

- D'you like it?

- Hello, honey, I love it.

How d'you feel, being a blonde?

- Really weird.

- Are you having more fun?

- I haven't been out yet, Bob.

This is the first glass of wine
I've had

since I've been a blonde.

- Ching ching, to that.

- Cheers, d'you like it?

- Yeah, really do.

- I think it brings your
features out more, blonde.

- Definitely, your eyes are like
amazing,

they're like two big conkers
on your face, I love it.

[Lucy laughs]
- D'you think I look ginger?

- Not at all.
- Not at all?

- That's what the toner does,

had he not put the second lot
on,

you'd have probably been like

Chris Evans stroke Catherine
Tate.

- Really?

- Mm, carrot, absolutely.

[Lucy laughs]

I haven't seen or spoke to
Charlie for about a week.

So, I've gone on over and said

"you're now like official with
Danni?"

I mean, I've never heard of
anyone going on two dates,

never kissing each other,
never sleeping together

but being an official couple.

- Mm.

- I'm now starting to think,

I think I'm gonna cry, actually,

that the guy that I know and
love,

he isn't that guy anymore.

- But d'you think it's
healthy to have a best friend

that you love 'cause I don't
think that is

and I think you need to move
forward now.

So, obviously, I know how
much you care for Charlie

and Charlie cares for you, I
think, maybe,

you need to talk to Danni,
maybe that's the problem.

- I feel like I need to talk to
her.

- Like [stammers] diplomatically
[laughs].

- That's the one, see,

I'm not gonna be good
at the D word, though.

[upbeat music]

- Are you good?
- Yeah, you?

- Nice seeing you.
- You too.

- [Little Chris] If you're
going well with Danni,

keep going.

- No, I thought I was going
well.

- Are you now like fully
exclusive?

- No, like she's done me
this letter, ain't she, like.

- Oh, have a laugh.

- Yeah, she's actually
done me this letter, right.

Right, get on this.

- [Little Chris] A letter?

- Yeah, "I have recently just
come out

of a seven-year relationship

and I need time to spread my
wings.

I feel with the Bobby
situation, it's very raw.

By waiting a little bit longer
to start the relationship,

maybe the storm would have
calmed

and nobody's feelings will get
hurt".

More like she's finding excuses

'cause you know what this is all
about?

She actually don't want
sex, that is what it is.

- I have to be honest with you,

I think sex is really
important for a relationship.

- Of course it is, she's always
said

she's a bit more reserved and
that's fine

and I respect that and I
wouldn't ever

make anyone do anything
they don't wanna do

but I'm a 27-year-old man

and I wanna experience
everything in a relationship.

Intimacy, fun, cuddles,
all that sort of stuff

and I'm not getting it.

- Everyone wants a snuggle
buddy,

you do not wanna be, what,

curling up to a pillow, you
know, so.

- I'd never do that but
yeah, I know what you mean.

- Mate, everyone curls up to a
pillow.

Even I curl up to a pillow
sometimes.

- [Charlie] Do you?
- I just get a bit lonely.

- Bless her, like the
actual gesture of a letter

is very, very sweet but you know
what,

everything that she's put in
there,

you could have just said
to me, it's not anything,

she said she struggles talking,

she don't shut up when I'm with
her.

- Yeah, I know she cares

but she could have at least
gone first class, mate,

she's given you a second class
stamp.

What you don't wanna do
is get in a relationship

and then just suddenly, just
sack off all your mates,

d'you know what I mean?

- Yeah.

- 'Cause that's why the
way Bobby feels like

you haven't shown him
the attention he needs.

- He's saying things to Lucy,
like

"our friendship is caput,
finished".

That is gutting me, that is, he
shouldn't,

that shouldn't even be on the
cards.

[upbeat music]

- Oh my God!

- Lucy, Mario!

- [Mario] [speaks foreign
language]

- [Debbie] You look
like a ballerina, Lucy.

- You look amazing, Luce.

- You all right, Tom?

- Your hair looks lovely.

- Thanks, I feel like a Barbie.

- Lydia, if I knew he was
coming,
I'd have worn my negligee.

- If I knew you were gonna wear
that,

I'd have come over an
hour ago. [all laugh]

- Mario, are you loving the new
hair?

- Your hair looks lovely.
- So does yours, Debs.

- Yeah.

[Debbie and Lucy laugh]

- You like it?
- Why don't you like it?

- She left looking like Kim
Kardashian

and come back looking
like Nicola Roberts, so.

- Mario!

- She still looks beautiful,
don't,

she always looks beautiful but
it's just getting used to it.

- What actually is this tonight,

like isn't it something to
do with the Sugar Hut Honeys?

- Does that mean that Mick gets
with

every single one of them?

- Don't be stupid.
- Ask Mick.

- What?
- Ask Mick.

- He's too old, he ain't got the
energy

for every single one of them.

- Right, come on, let's go
upstairs and put some makeup on,

I can't be bothered to
listen to this anymore.

- Do you want a red wine?

- Yeah, white, red wine.

- Not a cheek, just take that
cheek.

- I swear to God, Tom, you've
gotta watch him tonight.

- I will, I'm looking after
him, I'm looking after him.

- [Lucy] If I see him near
her, I'll take it out on you.

- Yeah, Tom, you've gotta
watch me tonight. [Tom laughs]

Where's Mario at?

- [Debbie] What d'you think
about me

joining the Sugar Hut Honeys?

- I reckon you'd rock it in a
bikini.

- I think you've got it.

- I think I need to have a
little chat with him, Mario.

- Think you should.

- There we are, darling.

- Thank you.

- All right, the only eyes
that Mick seems to have

in all you lot, is one set
of eyes on these, innit?

- Now I feel a bit awkward
'cause I'm looking at your tits.

[all laugh]

- Now I'm looking at my
girlfriend's mum's boobs.

- But it's true, innit?

- You're gonna marry into
that, that's a good gene.

- So, Lydia's gonna look like
you,

do you and Lydia gonna
look the same, you reckon?

- You know, we are gonna
be exactly the same.

- Well, Arg must be kicking
himself then,

he must be kicking himself.

- What was he doing?

- Me and you have had a
chat about this already.

- Yeah, no, we had a chat about
it.

- How do you feel about it?

- Like imagine if Lucy's
ex-boyfriend just kept texting
her,

saying "look, you're gonna
be in my, you've just been".

- I'd cut his throat.

- [laughs] But d'you
know what I mean, though?

One minute, he's saying "look,
it's fine",

next minute, he's texting her,
saying

"look, I wanna get back with
you,

"like I'll never fully not love
you".

- Yeah but Tom, at the end of
the day,

like who is she out with
tonight?

- Yeah.

[pulsating music]

- [Charlie] How you doing?

- Hey babes, good, how
are you, you look lovely.

- I'm all right, you
too, how's it all going?

- Yeah, good, you having a good
night?

- Not too bad, I still don't
feel too well, you know like.

- Don't you?

- Nah, not 100% but, had a lot
going on in my mind, Dan, so.

- Like?

- I haven't really spoke to you,
have I,

since the whole like letter.

It was a really sweet
gesture but I kind of read it

and I'm thinking, you're kind
of,

you're a bit of a traffic
light at the minute.

You're like, one minute, you're
red

and then you're kind of green

and now you're at flashing amber

and I just don't really know
sort of where this is heading.

- Maybe you took some
bits of the letter wrong.

Like maybe there's just bits of
it,

like the "spread your wings"
bit,

I did say to Lydia, that might
come across

like I wanted to get with other
people.

- No, see, that was,
[tuts] don't be silly,

I don't look at it like that

but when you spread your wings,
it's like you need space,

you need freedom, you
need some time to work out

what it is you want.

I wanna be able to be with
you now and not feel awkward

and if I wanna have a muck about
or you know, have a little,

you know, a cheeky whatever,
I wanna be able to think,

you know what, you're
comfortable with that

and we're both on the same
level and I don't think we are.

- But can't you do all that
when you're seeing someone,

d'you know what I mean?

Like does it have to have the
whole status

of a boyfriend and
girlfriend straight away?

- But you've made it quite clear

that you're not comfortable
with that side of things.

Even like friends with benefits
is almost sometimes better

because you're both like well,

we're not actually really deep

but we're kind of just having
fun fun.

- You mean, sexually?

- [Charlie] Yeah.

- Yeah but no, like does that
make sense?

- Here goes that traffic light
again.

- I feel pressured to do
something,

when you shouldn't be pressured.

- Exactly and never
ever give into pressure

'cause I wouldn't, you
know, you know I wouldn't.

You know me, I'm a spiritual
person, I pick up the vibes

and the vibes from me
is that you are just,

you need a bit of time.

At the moment, I'm not feeling
it,

my head space now is I'll keep
my options well open, then.

We bumble along and go out
on a few dates, happy days

but if something comes
my way and I like it

or I wanna go there, I will go
there.

- But I do like you, that's the
thing.

- And I like you, from what I'm
seeing

and how I'm gonna take it
is that we'll just be mates

and we'll just crack on, yeah?

Cool, right.

- See you later.
- Give us a kiss.

[upbeat music]

- Are you crying, are you
crying, what happened?

Why are you crying, talk to me.

- He just said, obviously.

- I didn't even hear any of it,
tell me.

- He said 'cause of the letter,
like he didn't want anything

[sighs] 'cause of the letter,

that I don't want a sexual
relationship

because I'm not ready yet

and that I said about spreading
the wings

and stuff like that,

that he just wants to leave it,
basically.

- What a bastard

because you don't wanna
jump into bed with him?

- How am I ever gonna move on,
though?

- That makes me feel sick, no,
I'm sorry

but he should wait for you.

If you're not ready to have
sex with him right now,

then he should not
throw that in your face.

- Yeah but isn't that
what guys want anyway?

- You can't love someone
just because of that.

- I know.

- There's more to life than that
and this.

- I feel like shit, I wanna go
home.

- This, your, this, mate,
I can't touch your heart

'cause your boobs are in the way

but you've got like feelings
and you're a person.

- Since I've dealt with
all this Bobby shit,

I've dealt with trying to move
on.

- I'm disgusted.

- And he's the first guy since
my ex

that I've actually liked.

- I'm disgusted, Danielle,

you can't just love someone for
sex.

- No.

- Well, that just goes to
show that all men are pricks,

aren't they, apart from Tom.

[Danni laughs]

Oh, Dan.

- I feel like shit, I wanna go
home.

- Oh shove them, you don't
need sex anyway, it's shit.

[pulsating music]

- Hi, bye.

[crosstalk]

- That's the best bit, remember
that.

[imitates camera clicking]

Right, I think the second one in
from the.

- So the reason why I'm doing
the search for a Honey again,

it's not a game as well
as, it's 'cause, obviously,

we're expanding massively.

- So am I, sitting next to
these.

[Mick laughs]

Massive harem.

- And we're gonna have the girls
in here

and we're gonna, they're all
gonna come through this venue

and we're gonna get to know
them, see what they can do.

- Exactly, I feel like Simon
Cowell.

- Can I have a buzzer,
like [imitates buzzer],

as soon as, the next minute
they walk [imitates buzzer],

no, [imitates buzzer].

- Being all right [imitates
buzzer].

- I don't want you to think
it's like a beauty pageant,

I mean, what, really, the thing
is,

once the girls come down.

- Are they gonna sing, they
gonna dance?

- Maybe.

- They gonna show us their
talent?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

- I'll show them my talent.

Never felt this awkward before,
so.

- Really?

- No, never, what if I get an
hard-on?

- What?

- If I get a hard-on, I'm
fucked,

ain't I, I've got skinny jeans
on.

- [Mick] Ladies.

- All right, girls?

- Hi.

- What do you expect to get
out of being a Sugar Hut Honey?

- To like meet new girls and
like have fun

and get all naked and, so yeah.

- You won't be getting naked.

- Not being naked, naked, oh my
God.

- Stringfellows is down there.

- [Mick] All right, girls,
thank you for coming.

See you in a little bit.

- Thank you.

- Thank you, bye.

If they're too flirty, too
slutty,

that's not what we're looking
for.

We're looking to be classy,

it's for the brand, it's for the
venue.

- Right, where do I fit
in in this bit, though?

Like looking at these
birds, what's me being here,

like I don't know where I'm
fitting in.

- You being here is you're
the eyes and ears again,

no different when you go to the
hotel

and it's a building site,
you're my eyes and ears,

make sure they're doing their
job.

You're very quick to tell
when other people ain't,

make sure you tell me, that's
what I'm interested in.

If you see them getting in the
car

with someone and going or..

- That means I've gotta come
here at night, as well, then?

- That's what we do, innit,
it's not easy mate, is it?

Nothing's handed to you on a
plate, we've gotta work for it.

- I know, I'm enjoying it so.
- Ask Mario, he knows.

He's probably made two suits

before you even woke up in the
morning.

- Yeah, I make them in my
sleep now, like [snores].

[Mick laughs]

I'm up early, man.

[pulsating music]

- Well, I bumped into him
earlier

and it just like, all kicked
off.

- [Mario] Why?

- Arg looks at me and goes,
"what the fuck you looking at?"

- [Lucy] What?

- [Tom] Like seriously, mate.

- And he's like staring at me
like.

Like proper staring at me so I
was like,

"what you staring at?"

He's got some weasel,
screwed face, like scarecrow,

looking at me and there
was someone in between us,

sort of like trying to
hold me back, blah, blah

and with that, he's trying to
hit me

and he's grabbing my top.

I didn't throw, I don't
think I threw any punches

but literally, literally, he
basically.

- Man, it looks so shit,
man, it looks so bad.

- Well basically, he started
a fight, he steamed into me,

I haven't got a single mark on
my face,

yeah, he's ripped my jumper

but he's a complete donut, the
kid.

- It's happened, it's
happened but it's just,

the little things just build up,
build up.

Like even though, like he text
Lydia the other day, yeah?

- Saying "oh, you'll never love
Tom

"the way that you loved me, I
miss you".

- [Lucy] That's so
disrespectful.

- Lydia is still in love with
you, mate

and he does not like that.

- He's 18 stone, he don't
drive, he ain't got a house,

he lives with his parents,

what has the kid got going
in his life, nothing.

- He's obviously jealous
or he's in awe of me

or he's insecure

because I've been with his
ex-girlfriend for so long.

He needs to get over it,
I ain't bothered about it,

I ain't bothered about
him, I ain't scared of him.

- It's embarrassing,
you're embarrassing now.

Me and Tom are gonna get
married, walking down the altar

and he's gonna say

"if anyone's got any
objections, please say now"

and fat Arg is gonna run
down the aisle and go "me".

- I wouldn't let someone do that
to me.

- If I start having fights
with Tom Kilbey all the time,

it's just giving Lydia
satisfaction.

- But it ain't the point,
it's the principle.

- He doesn't bother me, okay,
Tom Kilbey.

- It ain't the money, it ain't
nothing,

it's the principle, mate, he
shouldn't have to come out,

make you like a mug by
ripping your t-shirt.

[Arg laughs]

[pulsating music]

- Is it all right if I just
have a quick word with Dan?

- [Danni] I don't wanna
argue with you, Bobby.

- I'm not here to have a row
with you,

I just kind of wanna just

put a couple of things clear
because.

- Are you sure you want me to
go?

- Yeah, I'm sure.

- Right, I just wanna start by
saying

I don't really get how
this has kind of escalated

to how it has and I need
to just stop this now

because it's getting really
silly.

I've seen you out a couple of
times

and you're giving me dirty
looks?

- Yeah, I've heard this,
where did you see me?

- I've seen you here
at Sugar Hut and I was.

- Yeah, and I said "hello,
Bobby", I was with a friend,

yeah and I said hi.

- I was having photos with
someone and I said hello to you

and you didn't say hello to me,
Dan.

- I did say hello,

I've got a friend to prove I
said hello, I said hello back.

- [Bobby] Okay, well, I didn't
hear that.

- And you've said you
saw me in a hair salon?

- No, I was in a beauty salon

and I was having my eyebrows
done

and it's a sad day

when a guy can't have his
eyebrows threaded and tinted

without getting dirty looks.

- I didn't see you, Bobby, this
wasn't me.

- You walked past, looked in,

gave me the dirtiest looked
ever.

- [Danni] No, that's a lie,
Bobby, I didn't see you.

- Like a skid mark on a hotel
towel.

- Bobby, I didn't see
you, I would not lie,

if I didn't see you, I
honestly didn't see you.

- Why have you turned round and
said then,

if you're not lying, to Charlie,

you didn't tell me I'm getting
in the way?

- I didn't say that, did I?

But at the end of the day,
Bobby,

it feels like you're in the
way because you're not happy

so it can't go any further,

that is what I said, not in the
way.

- Don't you think that's a rude
thing

to say to someone's best friend

when you've kind of been
on the scene five minutes

and been on one date with
him and you now tell me.

- No, it wasn't one date, was
it, Bobby,

it was three dates, wasn't it,
Bobby?

- And you've got the audacity to
say to me

"I'm getting in the way"?

- [Danni] Not in the way,
not like that, Bobby!

- What are you now, Romeo and
Juliet?

- No, it's not, it's nothing
now,

it's nothing now but
it's nothing now, is it?

- I'm happy for you, I want
you to crack on, be happy!

- But it's not, no, that's a
lie,

you don't want him to be
happy, you're lying, why lie?

- I don't want Charlie,
I do want you to be,

I'm not lying, Dan!

- You are lying, Bobby, you are
lying!

- [Bobby] I want you
to be happy, I am not!

- And you said to me, you said
to Lucy,

"I don't wanna hear anything,
I don't wanna hear from her,

"I don't want updates", you said
to me,

you don't want updates, then you
said,

"oh, I saw it online
that you're going out"!

- No, I said, let me speak, let
me speak!

- You never let anyone else
speak, Bobby!

- All you've done is speak
for the last two weeks!

- [Danni] All right, all
right then, Bobby, all right!

- Listen to me, I said I
didn't wanna be around you,

I didn't want to watch
"Coronation Street" with you,

I didn't wanna go to
the chip shop with you.

- You didn't wanna see, you
said you don't want to see,

"I'm not gonna go to any
places that you are at",

did you not say that?

- While you're on a date,
absolutely!

- Yeah, no, not on a date.

- Not about sort of going
official.

- Right, I think we're going
around in circles here,

we're going around in circles
here

and at the end of the day,

you're always gonna hate each
other

because there's feelings there.

- Because it's like, this
is just being dragged on

and I feel like we are
now the Essex version

of Angelina and Jennifer
and Charlie ain't Brad Pitt

so let's drop it now.

- At the end of the day, I
ain't with Charlie anymore.

Yous can be best friends
because I don't do a drama,

I don't want it, Bob, I
don't wanna argue with you,

at the end of the day, I don't
want anything, all right?

Lydia, I wanna go home.

- D'you wanna just walk out
of this [sighs] fuck's sake.

[upbeat music]