All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S07E02.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

a potential make-up and more
confusion

than anywhere else in the UK.

As always, the tans you see
might be fake

but the people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been set up purely
for your entertainment.

Previously on "The Only Way is
Essex"

- She's been meeting him
behind my back, basically,

for the last two months?
- That's what he said.

- Look at me, this is
embarrassing.

Please get out.

- Why didn't you pull him at the
time?

- Yeah, but Gemma, listen.

Listen, what do you mean?

[door slamming]

- Two months?
- Two months.

- Do you wanna come and have a
chat.

[upbeat music]

- [Joey] You know what would
cheer me up?

If I get to sing One Direction.

- Joey, I'm being paid very good
money

to come and sing at someone's
wedding.

Don't really think they'd
appreciate me

dragging you up on stage and,
like, singing One Direction.

Do you?

We literally are the "Wedding
Crashers"

now, aren't we. [laughs]

I'm going to sing at a
wedding and we've crashed,

so we are officially
the "Wedding Crashers".

- The "Wedding Crashers."

[car engine rattling]

- [Arg] Oh, don't sound too good

- [Joey] That's ag.

You just love to help out, don't
ya.

[Arg laughs]

- [Arg] Joey, you sure
this car's safe to drive?

- [Joey] what?

- [Arg] Are you sure it's safe
to drive?

- Yeah, it's perfect.

Stick that in like that.

Sweet as. Fine.

There you go, all fixed.

- Oh my god, this looks
unbelievable.

How good does this look.

- Mate, it's like a proper
castle

- Wow!

Actually singing in a castle.

How sick is that.

[gentle music]

- They weren't actually
even wobbling at first,

they were just there,
like rock hard, but now

they're getting softer
- Mine don't wobble.

- Don't they?

- Are you excited about getting
new bras?

- Yeah, but I'm a bit scared

like, 'cause I can't wear
padded bras no more, can I?

- 'Course you can.

Makes 'em bigger, the bigger the
better

- What, you's wear padded bras?

- I've got a padded bra
on now, are you joking?

- Shut up

- Hi.
- Hiya.

[upbeat music]

- They're both white,

and they've both got some
detailing on, that's it.

And you look good in both of
them, so what's the difference?

That's the first nice
thing you've said all day.

Do you know that?

- Right, so if you're in this
colour,

what colour are you
having your bridesmaids?

'Cause I gotta think about it

'cause my ties and hankerchiefs.

- Can't we decide that after,
bub?

'Cause it's all about my dress
first

and then I decide what I
want my bridesmaids in.

- It's all about my suits first,
really.

- I think I'd want them
in like a nudey colour.

Like a pinky nude.
- No because pinky nude

will look crap on my suit.

- This is really making
me wanna get married, Bob.

Shall I just do it?

- Let's just do it.

- Mind you, no, wait,
I can't propose, can I?

- Only on a leap year?

- Is it a leap year?

- I think 2012 is a leap year.

- Shut up.

Are you angry with the whole
situation?

With the whole--

- I'll be honest with you babe.

I'm angry in the sense
that I found out online

that my best friend's
now in a relationship.

- Yeah, maybe that was wrong

on Charlie's behalf not
informing you.

- Yeah. My beef isn't with Dan.

- No.
- Do you know what I mean?

- I want you to make it,

'cause I don't want you two
arguing.

There's no need for it.

- No.

- You know like my situation,
it's just, I don't know,

I just can't let go and I need
to let go

in order to meet somebody else.

- [Frankie] Yeah.

When you're trying to get over
someone,

it's gonna be hard, it's
gonna take a long time.

- I don't think we should talk
about it

because we're gonna ruin the bra
day.

- Chlo, come here.

[Chloe crying]

- [Chloe] Things are shit
at the minute, Frank.

I don't think we should talk
about this,

it's just gonna spoil the bra
day.

- Oh shut up, sod the
fucking bras, I don't care.

Don't, 'cause you're making me
upset

- I just can't get over him,
like,

And I wanna because I'm lonely,

I'm all by myself all the time.

It's not just about bras, I
don't care about wearing bras

but it's just I can't get over
someone,

it's been such a long time.

- But you've gotta give it a go.

- So the other night I was at a
party

and there was this guy.

Anyway, he come over and he was
chatting

and he seemed like a nice guy,
he looked, he was handsome

and he was tall and he
had a lot going for him.

He did have a Welsh accent,

so I couldn't really understand
him, but.

Anyway, I gave him my
number and then he started

proper sending long essay text
messages.

It ruined it straight away,
'cause then I was like whoa!

- [Frankie] Chlo, the
first person you meet

ain't gonna be him.

- No, I know, but I can't even
handle

another guy texting me at the
minute.

Like, I couldn't handle it.

- That's fair enough, 'cause
it's all new,

It's gonna be hard, it's
gonna take a long time.

Five years of loving someone,

you don't just wake up
one day and think right,

this is me back on the dating
scene.

Just forget about it.

- I'm sorry for ruining bra
shopping day.

- Oh, don't be silly.

- I'm like the worst personal
shopper.

- No, you're not.

[upbeat music]

- So, rumor's in the grapevine,
you've had an allowance?

- What?

- I've never even heard
about this allowance,

so what is this allowance?

- You don't know that I get an
allowance?

- No! When have you ever had an
allowance?

- Don't be horrible, you are a
boy.

You should get an allowance?

- No, I know I shouldn't get an
allowance.

But, you are 25. [laughs]

- Don't they give you an
allowance?

- Nothing.

- I'm actually causing myself
trouble here, aren't I?

Please don't go home. [Tom
interrupts]

- It's so mean, like, the
favourite golden child going on.

- But you're a golden child.

- You're a golden child.

- No, you are.

Come on, I'm not being horrible.

I love you to bits, but
since you've been with Lydia,

I have not seen none of you.

- Only because, like,

I just like to be around her all
the time.

Do you know what I mean?
Like, she's such a nice girl.

[jazz music plays]

- Let's just get out of stress
mode,

cos I'm more stressed than you
probably

- Well, you ain't gotta sing.

Just think of the stress I've
had so far,

I don't even know the
bride and groom's name

well, don't.. just, you
don't say their names, do ya?

Just start singing and that.

Mate, don't you think it's
crazy, like,

This could be yours and Gemma's
wedding.

- There's absolutely no chance
I'd ever get married to her.

- You always tell me you wanna
marry her.

- no, I don't wanna go
through a life of hell, mate.

- no, no, you would've married
her

if things had carried on nicely.

- I can't believe how much
weight I've put on as well,

I'm really upset. [laughs]

Joey, I need one last thing for
a favour.

- What, what do you want?

- Basically, if I stretch
down to do my shoelaces

then I know my trousers are
gonna split,

so will you do my shoelaces for
me?

- Mate, I feel like a slave.

- Ah please, it's just a favour.

- I've done you enough favours
today.

- Right, I'll do you a favour
in return if you do me a favour.

- What's your favour?

- Oh, it's a surprise

- Definitely, lemme, lemme...

- It's definitely more of a
chance, yeah,

if you do my shoelaces

Please Joey, I'm not ever - if I
could -

I promise you my trousers will
split.

Please! I'm asking you as a
favour.

What about if I put 'em up here
then?

- All right.

- Right, come on.

Right, hurry up, cos my leg's
hurting.

Can you do it properly please?

- Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome the wedding
singer, James Argent!

[Arg singing]

- Sal would never ever think

that Joey would be a burden
to me, would be anything.

I just don't think Joey would
ever cheat on me in my life,

but Arg, as much as he's my
mate, Arg is a free spirit,

he's single, he can do
what he wants, he goes out,

he wants birds, he goes
out and he goes yeah,

she's fit, and whatever else.

- Right, okay.

- But when Joey goes out
with Arg I just think grrr!

And do you know what, I
haven't heard from Joe.

Where the fuck are they?

- Right, there's two massive
things you need to do.

- Am I being needy?

- I actually think--

- That's why I think, you've
got a girlfriend, fucking--

- But I don't think you should
worry

because I think it's a
certain type that cheat

- No, no, would you--

- No listen, do you know
what I think, right,

So many girls can blame
their boyfriend's mate,

At the end of the day

if their boyfriend's going to
do something it's up to them,

it's not up to their boyfriend's
mate, it's up to them.

[upbeat music plays]

- No, yeah, no. You know,
there's no rush for any of that.

You know, we're seeing each
other, we're going really well,

and I don't want to
put any pressure on it.

- Aw, look at him, here he is!

How're you doing, mate?

- You all right? How are you?

- Hello.

- Can I have just five
minutes with Charlie?

- Course you can. Right.

- How you doing?

- How you doing, mister?

- I'm all right, how are you?

- Ermmm...

- I don't even get a hug,
hello, or nothing, no?

Where has that Bobby Norris,
Queen of Hearts, gone?

- Do you know what, I wanna
be completely honest with ya,

cos you know what I'm like.

I am at a stage where I don't
really know

where I stand with you any more.

I'm hearing things through
rumour mills

and reading things online that
you're now in a relationship.

I would have much rather have
been told

through a text message or phone
call.

- Don't start all that, Bobby,

do not start that, man, cos
I'm not gonna have that.

At the end of the day, I've been
told that

you're keeping your distance

because you didn't wanna see
me and Danni progressing,

'cos you just weren't
ready to accept that,

all right, fair enough.

If you'd actually been involved
in my life

and not kept your distance

maybe you'd know what was going
on

and you wouldn't be finding
out from other sources.

- Can I just stop you there,

cos if you wanna go
home and talk to wifey,

I am being told--

- She ain't my wife.

- If you wanna go and
have a word with her,

She's telling me I'm getting in
the way,

so I've backed off.

- Okay. You've come over
to me all pent up with,

like you're aggressive man,
this isn't the Bobby I know.

- You don't realise how
hurt I am. I've gone away,

I've given you two the
respect to do your dating.

- you said, you, you said
you wanna keep your distance

because you weren't quite ready

to see me and Danni hooking up.

I'm gutted that we're not the
friends that we once were.

When you told me you had
feelings for me, Bobby,

I could've run a mile and I
didn't,

I just stayed with you,
I just stuck by your side

and I thought d'you know what,

I'm gonna make sure nothing
comes between this friendship

because I love you to bits.

I can't believe that we're
even having this conversation,

because most best friends just
stick with each other man,

I don't like the way you're
being with me

- I think I'm done here, babes.

Let's not try and resolve this,

If I'm really getting in the
way,

let you two crack on and
I hope it's worth it.

Enjoy your night, Charlie.

- No, you've ruined it mate.

Thanks for ruining my night.

[dejected music plays]

- Arg, Arg, Arg

- What now?

- Arg constantly plays this
victim, oh poor me, poor me,

but the fact of it is, I
haven't done anything wrong,

when he dumped me, I decided
when Rami...

I bumped into Rami in the bagel
shop

and he asked me out on a date,

I'm gonna go with Rami on a
date.

- Yeah, yeah

- Stop playing the victim, you
wronged me,

and do you know, the most
hurtful thing about this all,

he tells Joey he wants
his PlayStation back.

- Ohhhh, please.

- The PlayStation. And I said to
Joey,

then Joe's going yeah, you
gotta get that one back,

and I'm thinking a PlayStation?!

Everything that Gemma done for
Arg,

dinners, organising things,

took him in and you want
the PlayStation back.

- I spent fortunes on him.

Do you know what I feel
like saying to him?

- Bought him a pair of shoes,
didn't you?

- Gimme those £500 pair of shoes
back

that you're wearing on your
feet.

I cooked you dinners, I washed
your pants,

with the worse skids marks
I've seen in my whole life,

I had to put them on a
90% wash for like, 3 hours

and they were still stained
when I got them out.

- You haven't even seen
him yet though, have you?

- Not seen him, he's avoiding me

- That's the thing

He needs to stop being such
a pussy and face up to it

- Yeah, why can't he
just come and pick it up

- Can't he just ring ya, and go
hi Gem,

I wanna come and have a chat
with you,

while I'm at it I'm gonna pick
my Kenneth Moore award up,

or whatever it is, and my
PlayStation

- Before you know it, you'll
have Joey knocking on your door

going "Can I pick up stuff for
Arg?"

- I might bribe him and
say give me my shoes

and that perfume back that
I bought you, aftershave,

and you can have your little
Kenny award.

- Kenny Award

- Dear Charlie

I am writing this letter to
inform you of my feelings.

There are a few things that I
want to get off my 32GG chest.

Because then he'll laugh at
that.

- And then put LOL.

- oh, LOL really? You're so old
school.

Firstly I've just come out
of a seven year relationship

and I feel like I need to spread
my wings a little bit more

before I go and get myself
right back into another one.

- Okay, the spreading my
wings seems a bit slutty.

- No, he is spiritual.
Charlie will connect to that.

- Okay, and he will know
it's not a slutty comment?

Bobby situation, put that
in in capital letters

Ok. Bobby Situation.

Do you agree with me?

Can we rewind back to the fun
times

and just be seeing each other
again.

I hope now you understand why
I've been a little distant.

- Yeah. Oh that's cute. I
should seal it with a kiss.

- Yeah, let me put Charlie,
a kiss, and then kiss it.

- I should kiss it there,
open, sealed with a kiss.

- Yeah, a kiss.

- I think he'll appreciate that.

That's it, perfect

- People are gonna be round soon

and you haven't even decided
what we're having for main.

- Have you got enough? You
haven't got enough out, have ya?

- How many people are
coming, so me, you, Sam

- I am Sam.

- Okay, no, sorry, me, you,
Billie, Chloe

- Frankie

- Frankie, Diags

- And Kirk

- And Kirk

- Seven

- Seven

- Joe! I can't sit and
watch this any longer!

Peel the potatoes! Get a
bowl, get a saucepan out,

put water in, put it on
there so it starts boiling,

please you're driving me mad.

Here, here. Look. This is
just never gonna work out.

[upbeat music plays]

- The girls are here

- Hey!

- Any girls in your life?

- No, I need one, like
bad, like I really do

- So do you, like, is there
any feelings there for Lauren

any more or not really or..?

- Ahh, nah, nah, no, I just
wanna be mates with her,

all I wanna do is be mates with
her.

- Be civil, yeah.

- That's all.

- To be fair, all the girls
here now are really nice,

but girls are bitches,
I'm not gonna lie, sorry.

[chattering]

- What are you saying?

[chill music playing]

- Do you know what's coming up
as well?

- What?

- Conquers are starting to
grow on the trees again.

- Shut up.

- Yes.

- Yes.

- Remember that shit?

- Well this time though,
you'll boil em in,

you'll put 'em in vinegar?

- Yeah, but that's if we're
gonna fight other people,

do you know what I mean?

We'll set up a little
tournament.

- A conquer tournament.

- I ruined bra shopping day

- You didn't.

I had a breakdown in the shop

- No, why?

- Don't like bras

[all laugh]

I hate fucking bras,
know what I mean, Diags.

- Some people just don't like
'em

they're annoying for me I dunno.
Ag.

On a serious note, I've been in
love

with somebody for 5 years.

I've like built my life
around him, you know,

been faithful, and now like,

I dunno, like it's come to my
attention

that maybe he hasn't been doing
the same.

- Now see, she's definitely the
one

I wanna be with her and I don't
wanna be with anyone else.

- That's good.

We need to find another
version of Sam for me then.

- It's gonna be hard, though.

- You hear that fox?

- That's a koala bear, isn't it?

- Koala bears don't live here!

- Oh, yeah! I think I meant a
pigeon.

[laughs]

- It's a fox!

- It's a fix. [laughs]

- What's a fix?

- Not a fix, a fox. Sorry.

[folk music plays]

- Now I told you, didn't I,

I'd do something special
for you for your birthday

- Yeah, but I don't call this
special

- Being 60 like this year

- I'm not 60! I'm younger than
you

- There we are [giggles] This is
it.

- Are you having a laugh?

- This is my favourite
restaurant

- Are you being serious?

- Carol, it's your birthday
treat!

Who else would bring you
here for your birthday!?

- You call yourself a friend.
Just about sums it all up

- Have you got the letter?

- I have got the letter

- I take art very seriously,

so anything creative I'm in my
element.

- So maybe I'll just say,
babes, take this home with you.

I think I'm going to make a
vase.

- It's vase!

- Are you giving us a
demonstration?

- Yes, I'm going to show you
what to do.

If you want to just observe for
a minute

and I'll show you how it all
works.

- Nowadays, as soon as they snog
someone

it's photographed,
emailed, texted, Twitter,

erm what's the new one? MyFace.

And the whole world knows about
it.

I just think that, you
know, relationships,

you've gotta evolve with them
really,

and especially if you
meet somebody very young,

and that was the problem
with James and Lydia,

like they did meet very, very
young.

She was like still at school.

[phone rings] [dog barking]

- Oh my God.

- Who?

- Talk of the devil

- You've been talking about me?

- Stop it

- How is the Wicked Witch of
Essex?

- How dare you! How dare
you call me names, James!

- I thought you missed me?

- James, I can't be friends
with you at the moment

- Why can't you be friends with
me?

- I just don't feel right about
it

- So basically, what you're
trying to tell me is is

that Lydia and Tom, or maybe
Tom's

a bit jealous of our
relationship.

- Not at all

- But every time you see
me you give me a big cuddle

and you can't let me go

- James, I can let you go.

It's just there's so much fat
around you

that it's really hard to let you
go!

- Yeah, cheers, listen
you need to get your hair

straightened, it's more
curly than it's ever been.

- I need to make it bigger.

Oh look, it's coming off, it's
coming off,

I can't even keep it on it
here, look. I was doing so well!

- That is so bad!

- What happened to it?

- That is so bad.

- That's all right, I give up

I don't like this game any more!

- You're such a sore loser

Tom don't get it on me! Tom!
Tom!

Don't get it on me any more!

- Right, we got game, let's do
this!

- I haven't seen you in the last
few days

- Nah, I've kinda been
keeping myself to myself.

I dunno I feel a little
bit funny about things

because I saw Bobby, and er

it just didn't go down very well
at all.

- What do you mean?

- Well, like I'm trying to say
look,

Bobby, I've kept my distance
because

you've wanted to keep your
distance

and he's basically saying

you've made him feel like he's
in the way.

- I didn't make him feel.

When I saw him at the
pub and we had that chat,

I didn't make him feel.

I said to him I'd like to do
stuff

with the both of you together,
like go to the cinema,

whatever, and he said are
you actually having a joke,

like are you being for real,

why would I wanna be anywhere
with you and Charlie?

I said I loved him.

And I was like well you're
gonna have to get used to it.

I didn't say stay away. I said
- no, my words to him were--

- No, he said he felt like

you said he feels like he's in
the way

and you've kinda made that
clear.

- No, I didn't, he's
lying, I didn't say that.

If I said something
that come across badly,

then I'm sorry, that's
all I can say, can't I?

- I hate to say it but there's
already

a problem within our
relationship

- I did want to talk to you

but I'm not very good
at confronting people,

if that makes sense, so
I wrote you a letter.

- All right, pops?

- Hello!

- I just bumped into her
and she said you were here.

Thought I'd come and see ya.

You don't look happy, do ya?

Have I done something wrong?

- What?

- Have I done something wrong?

I saw her. She said you were
here. I thought I'd bring Bozo.

I was just walking him down the
street.

- What's wrong I had to see him
now I

- I've never said you're not!

- All right, liar. Bozo!

- It's a bit awkward, isn't it?

- It's a bit awkward. Awkward
city.

- She didn't bring me here, by
the way.

Bumped into her and
sort of intruded myself.

- Yeah, I don't think she would
do that.

- Don't think she would.

Have I done something wrong
then?

We were sweet, I thought.

- Are you insane?

- No!

- This is so awkward.
Shall I wait outside?

- Am I insane or do you
have selective memory

or you're like the best actor
ever?

- I really don't know what
you're--

- The last time we spoke,
you had a massive go at me.

- Once we've had an argument.

I thought we were sweet since
that.

- No.

- Is it not?

- No!

- Fair enough, I'll go, I
just thought it was sweet.

- Yeah, please go.

- Well, thanks, all
right, sorry about that!

See you later! All right, come
boy.

- He's fucking crazy. Like,
insane.

- That is so awkward.

I wanted the dog to just
eat me or something.

[laughs]

- First of all, he told me
I wasn't actually a dog.

Ever. And he pretends like we're
fine.

- The whole way down here, he
was like

"Yeah, like me and Lauren are
sweet."

- Just when you think you
get someone out of your life,

the shit I went through, the
year,

it's been over a year now.

And then he just pops his head
back up

like everything's all right.

After everything he did.

- No, don't do it to me,
Tom, cos I've got make up on!

Tom! My hair! Tom!
Don't put it in my hair!

Oh my god that's so annoying.

It's all on my dress.

Love you.

- Love you too.

[Tom mumbles]

- More? Yeah.

- Do you think?

- Do you think I am?

- Yeah.

- Promise?

- Promise.

- That's pretty good though,
isn't it?

- Yeah, it's all right.

I've still got it all in my
nose.

- Oh my God.

- What the hell have you been up
to?

- I don't even want to
talk to her anymore.

- It's everywhere!

- Look at my bum!

- Look at your hair!

- It's in my hair!

- Look at me! What do you mean,
you?

- We need to go, 'cause I'm
going out

and I need to wash my hair.

[laughs]

- Don't get it on me.

- I think that, if I
still give you the letter,

read it, give me a call.

- Babe, I wanna make this clear,

I'm really happy with
the way things are going,

you've gotta understand that.

And I want you to be happy

but you've just gotta
tell me how you feel.

- Yeah

- Yeah. I'll read the
letter, happily I will,

but don't feel you can't talk to
me.

- Okay. I don't know
why I put a stamp on it,

but I kissed it, and it smells
like me

Can I have a hug?

- Are we good, yeah. We're good.

- Yeah

- Yeah, promise?

- Yeah, I promise

- Just talk to me, it's all you
need to do

- Here you go, how d'you like
that?

- Listen, the plan is I go in
there,

get my stuff back, but
not just - not just that,

I actually wanna try and
smooth things over with Gemma

and see if we can be civil.

- Nah, don't do that. Don't
need to be smooth, mate,

just be rough as fuck and go
and get your PlayStation back.

- But you know what Gemma's
like,

she's the most confident
girl in the world,

she's probably more confident
than Beyonce

- What you gonna do if Rami's in
there?

- Well, I'll probably run out

and ask you two to come in with
me.

The reason I do love Diags is
because

he knows I'm in a little bit
of trouble at the moment,

so you've come here to drop
me off and he's gone home,

he's actually got dressed

and put on his football hooligan
outfit.

- Yeah.

[laughs]

- Diags is literally ready for a
tear-up,

he's gone home and put on all
his football hooligan clothes

and he's like ready for it all
to kick off

- I'm here to support you and
help you out

when you're in need and I've
come--

- I'm not worried. Honestly,
if Rami did see him in that

he would be quite scared.

- He's gonna think I've
come from the terraces,

do you know what I mean?

- All right, best mates,
best mates. Wish me luck.

- Laters potatoes.

- Good luck, man, you're gonna
do well.

- Don't have nothing to
eat in there, no food,

just get your stuff and come out

- Straight in.

[knocks]

- Oh hello, Arg, you all right?

- All right, Joan?

- Yeah, how you doing?

- Erm, not too bad.

- Oh, you come round to see Gem?

- Yeah, yeah sort of, I just
wanna like,

well I need to get me stuff back

and I wanna clear the
air a little bit as well.

- Oh right, well, well come in
then.

You look like you've got
aches and pains, have you?

- Oh, dunno.

- What you been doing?

- Bit nervous, I think.

- Oh, bless ya, bless ya.

Alright Arg, this way,
come in, there you go.

- What you want?

- Um, [clears throat], I've come
in peace.

- Okay.

- What's the matter?

Where did it all go wrong?

- I mean, just, no.

- Wanna cuddle?

[Gemma crying]

- Don't cuddle me, don't cuddle
me.

- Come on, put your foot up.

- No, don't be silly

- Go on, you can put your feet
up.

- Don't be silly, I don't
wanna put my feet up,

my legs are bigger than yours.

- They're not bigger than mine.

- You're squashing me.

- All right, sorry.

- I just think it's like
really sad how it's all ended.

You don't give one shit.

- No, I do, I do think it's sad

but I mean, you know, obviously
I don't like coming here

to see you cry, but
obviously I've just been...

you know, at the same time
I know you're a bit upset

and stuff Gem, but I'm still
quite shocked

at what I've heard and
what's been going on

and stuff like that.

Why you crying? Come on, stop
being silly.

I thought you was gonna smash
my face in when I walked in

here, this isn't really the
reaction I was expecting,

what's the matter?

- I don't mean it when I get
angry,

I just don't like showing
you that I'm bothered

- Look how nice it looks in
there, warm.

- I mean, look Gemma, obviously
I know,

with you, you know, one minute
you can be

the most loveliest,
nicest girl in the world,

and then the next minute you
can be like a bit of a nutcase,

and I don't mean that - and I
don't mean

that being horrible, but
I just don't really get,

I just don't understand.

'Cos, and also one minute I
think

that you're in love with me
and you're sort of showing it

now you're a bit sensitive,
but then I hear things

that you've been cheating
on me for two months

and then, you know, you
say these things to me

and do these things and I'm just
like,

I just don't get it with
you, I don't know what,

I just don't understand you
sometimes.

- I haven't cheated on you for
two months

and you know I haven't
because...I haven't

- It's not about that.

I mean I don't understand
why would Rami tell Mario

that he's been seeing you
for the last two months.

The facts are we've only been
going out for three months,

maybe just over three months

and if you've been seeing Rami
behind my back for two months

that's like over two thirds
of our whole relationship.

- Arg, you know I haven't been
seeing Rami for two months.

- I'm not being funny about it
whatsoever,

I want you to be happy.

- There's not been any
closure with us, Arg.

- That's why I'm here now.

- I'm not with a man that
undermines me,

goes on about my weight.

- Gemma, Gemma, enough.
Just stop, alright,

I care about ya, and, can
I - where's my PlayStation?

Is it here, or is it somewhere
else?

I dunno where it is. Have you
got my -

also my Kenneth Moore
Theatre Award, and my iPod,

and I think I've got a few
bits of clothes as well.

Is that all here or is it at
your flat?

- It's at my flat.

- Can I come round and get it?

- So you'll have to come round
again.

- All right, come on, I better
go then.

- All right, so what happens now
then?

Do you really mean this,
that you wanna be friends?

- Yeah, I'll be friendly
and civil with you.

- Come on then.

[boys laughing]

["The Only Way is Up" by Yazz
plays]