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1
00:00:02,219 --> 00:00:03,133
♪ Men.♪
2
00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:04,352
Thanks for coming in, guys.
3
00:00:04,439 --> 00:00:06,354
It'’s always
a pleasure seeing you.
4
00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:09,009
I mean, she'’s so pretty.
You'’re so pretty.
5
00:00:09,096 --> 00:00:11,359
You know anyone
we can set her up with?
6
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,448
I appreciate the thought,
but I am perfectly happy
7
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:15,537
with my... cats.
8
00:00:15,624 --> 00:00:17,669
Anyway...
9
00:00:17,756 --> 00:00:20,020
how would you guys feel
about adopting an older child?
10
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:22,413
Wow. Like, how old
are we talking?
11
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,894
Like, I'’ve been taking care
of this one since he was 43.
12
00:00:24,981 --> 00:00:26,243
[laughs]
13
00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:27,853
He'’s been a
wonderful provider.
14
00:00:27,940 --> 00:00:30,682
And he only spanks me
when I ask him to.
15
00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:34,512
Wow, that is a lot to take in
before 10:00 a.m. on a Monday.
16
00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:35,948
That'’s what he said.
17
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,515
Okay, please stop.
18
00:00:37,602 --> 00:00:39,648
That'’s what he said.
19
00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:42,564
Oh! The reason I bring it up
is because there is
20
00:00:42,651 --> 00:00:44,392
a six-year-old boy
who'’s been bouncing around
21
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,089
the foster system for a while,
22
00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:48,352
and I think he'’d be
a great match for you guys.
23
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:49,571
Wow, really?
24
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:51,921
Uh, well, six
is a great age.
25
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:54,358
Potty-trained
but not ashamed of you yet.
26
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:55,707
WALDEN:
Well...
27
00:00:55,794 --> 00:00:58,058
well, uh, can we adopt him
right away?
28
00:00:58,145 --> 00:00:59,581
Well, we'’d start
with a weekend visit.
29
00:00:59,668 --> 00:01:01,887
See if it'’s a good fit,
then, assuming it is,
30
00:01:01,974 --> 00:01:03,889
you guys would become
his foster parents.
31
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,848
After six months,
if everyone agrees,
32
00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:07,676
you can officially adopt him.
33
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,721
Oh, and-and-and
if we don'’t agree,
34
00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:12,550
can we credit those six months
to a kid that we do like?
35
00:01:12,637 --> 00:01:15,075
[all laugh]
36
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:17,599
Wow, I-I always thought
we were gonna get a baby,
37
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:21,255
but I kind of like the idea
of giving an older kid a shot.
38
00:01:21,342 --> 00:01:23,518
Well, Louis certainly
deserves a shot.
39
00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:24,867
Louis?
40
00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:26,608
Louie?
41
00:01:26,695 --> 00:01:27,870
Aw, sweet Lou.
42
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:29,611
[bellows]:
Lou!
43
00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:31,917
Uh, is he married to that name
or can we change it?
44
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Alan.
45
00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:35,225
Oh, I'’m sorry, I'’m sorry.
46
00:01:35,312 --> 00:01:37,793
I just, you know,
I had my heart set on Beckett.
47
00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:41,144
Look, I'’m gonna be
honest with you guys.
48
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:42,885
Louis has had a rough time.
49
00:01:42,972 --> 00:01:44,756
He'’s been in foster homes,
group homes.
50
00:01:44,843 --> 00:01:46,323
He'’s moved around a lot.
51
00:01:46,410 --> 00:01:47,672
We thought we had him
placed for adoption
52
00:01:47,759 --> 00:01:49,065
a few months ago,
but it fell through.
53
00:01:49,152 --> 00:01:50,980
So he'’s gonna be
a little gun-shy.
54
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:52,634
Well, don'’t worry about that.
55
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:53,939
I mean, I'’m sure we'’ll have
a great time together.
56
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,550
Just don'’t expect a lot.
57
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,378
Same thing I told this one
on our wedding night.
58
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:02,905
Wow, I really like this idea.
59
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:04,602
I mean, I'’m gonna...
I'’m gonna have a son.
60
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,213
How cool is that gonna be?
61
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:07,736
I mean, and-and
you get to relive
62
00:02:07,823 --> 00:02:09,999
all those great
father-son moments.
63
00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:14,482
♪ By the time
you hear the siren ♪
64
00:02:14,569 --> 00:02:16,962
♪ It'’s already too late ♪
65
00:02:17,049 --> 00:02:20,270
♪ One goes to the morgue
and the other to jail ♪
66
00:02:20,357 --> 00:02:21,793
♪ One gets wasted
and the other'’s a waste... ♪
67
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,360
[vomiting]Good thinking.
68
00:02:25,188 --> 00:02:26,755
[farts]
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00:02:30,715 --> 00:02:31,934
Dad?Yeah, buddy?
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00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:35,285
Bite me.
71
00:02:35,372 --> 00:02:37,505
[farting]
72
00:02:37,592 --> 00:02:41,073
[fart echoing]
73
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,988
Yeah, all those
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00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:46,035
great father-son moments.
75
00:02:46,122 --> 00:02:48,516
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
76
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♪ Ah.
♪ Men.
♪ Men.
77
00:02:55,697 --> 00:02:56,915
♪ Men.♪
78
00:02:58,003 --> 00:02:59,396
What the hell?
79
00:02:59,483 --> 00:03:01,311
Walden?WALDEN: Up here!
80
00:03:01,398 --> 00:03:03,792
Check it out!
Isn'’t this awesome?
81
00:03:03,879 --> 00:03:05,750
They have one just like it
at the Google headquarters!
82
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,665
Oh, you know what you get
when you Google
83
00:03:07,752 --> 00:03:09,189
"greatest dad in the world"?
84
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:13,541
This guy!
85
00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:15,282
[laughs]
86
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:16,587
[stammers]
What is going on?
87
00:03:16,674 --> 00:03:17,893
What is all this?
88
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,721
Oh, uh, well,
I went to the toy store
89
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:21,288
and got a few things for Louis.
90
00:03:21,375 --> 00:03:23,725
"A few things"?
Okay, I don'’t want to be the guy
91
00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:25,596
to point out the 800-pound
gorilla in the room.
92
00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:28,295
But there'’s an 800-pound gorilla
in the room.
93
00:03:28,382 --> 00:03:30,253
I just want him to like it here.
94
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,733
Well, so do I.
95
00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:33,691
But if you build Disneyland
in your house,
96
00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:36,390
you'’ll never get the thrill
of taking him to Disneyland.
97
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,914
Ah. You'’re right.
98
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:41,786
Damn it. I got to cancel
Mickey and Minnie.
99
00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,614
What?
Oh, I was gonna
have him
100
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,007
wake him up
in the morning.
101
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:45,964
[imitating Mickey Mouse]:
Hey, Louis.
102
00:03:46,051 --> 00:03:47,139
Ready for breakfast?
103
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,315
We'’ve got orange juice
104
00:03:48,402 --> 00:03:50,665
and waffles shaped just like me!
105
00:03:50,752 --> 00:03:53,407
I think it'’s great that you'’re
so excited about being a dad.
106
00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:56,975
And the best part is...
no stretch marks for me.
107
00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:59,543
You know, you'’re my best friend,
108
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,502
but you'’re an odd little man.
109
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:04,940
♪ Men.♪
110
00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:07,986
Oh, hey.
111
00:04:08,073 --> 00:04:09,074
What are you doing up?
112
00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:10,467
I couldn'’t sleep.
113
00:04:10,554 --> 00:04:12,600
Oh, I get it.
Excited about tomorrow?
114
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,732
More like terrified
about tomorrow.
115
00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,387
Why are you getting paper towels
116
00:04:17,474 --> 00:04:19,737
in the middle of the..
Oh, you... Never mind.
117
00:04:19,824 --> 00:04:21,130
I don'’t want to know.
118
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:24,568
That'’s a good call.
119
00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:27,832
You want to talk about it?
120
00:04:27,919 --> 00:04:30,182
There'’s a kid
showing up here tomorrow.
121
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,663
And he needs a dad,
and I don'’t know if I can do it.
122
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:34,796
What? Why not?
123
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:37,364
Well, I'’ve never had
a successful relationship
124
00:04:37,451 --> 00:04:39,888
with anyone in my life
except for you.
125
00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,498
Four years next Thursday.
126
00:04:41,585 --> 00:04:43,544
Yeah, I got your wish list.
127
00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:46,634
They'’re just ideas.
Make it your own.
128
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,549
Look, the fact that you'’ve
screwed up with women
129
00:04:48,636 --> 00:04:50,159
doesn'’t mean you can'’t
be a great father.
130
00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:52,030
I don'’t even know
what a good dad looks like.
131
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:53,815
I mean, I know
what a bad dad looks like.
132
00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:56,296
It'’s an empty chair
across the table from my mom.
133
00:04:56,383 --> 00:04:58,385
Which later gets filled
by my "Uncle Kenneth"
134
00:04:58,472 --> 00:04:59,908
who sold speedboats.
135
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:02,650
And "Uncle Rob"
who sold insurance.
136
00:05:02,737 --> 00:05:04,782
Then "Uncle Stan" who sold pot.
137
00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:07,045
I liked Uncle Stan.
138
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:09,134
I get it. I didn'’t grow up
with a dad, either.
139
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:11,398
When Jake was born,
I was scared out of my mind.
140
00:05:11,485 --> 00:05:13,400
Why were you scared?
You'’re a great dad.
141
00:05:13,487 --> 00:05:16,707
Okay, I'’m gonna
tell you something
142
00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:19,319
that I'’ve, I'’ve never
told anybody before.
143
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:22,452
When Jake was a baby...
144
00:05:22,539 --> 00:05:24,324
I dropped him.
145
00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:29,067
Right smack on his head.
146
00:05:29,154 --> 00:05:31,722
Oh, my God.
147
00:05:31,809 --> 00:05:34,072
Now I feel awful
about all the times I said,
148
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:37,598
"Were you dropped
on your head as a baby?"
149
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,904
My point is
that Jake turned out fine.
150
00:05:39,991 --> 00:05:42,429
I mean, sure, he had to repeat
seventh grade math
151
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,996
a couple of times, but he was
born at the right time.
152
00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,520
You know? Computers.
153
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,088
Wait, so what you'’re saying is
154
00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:52,787
even if I screw up a little,
it'’s not the end of the world?
155
00:05:52,874 --> 00:05:54,919
The fact that you'’re worried
about being a good dad
156
00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,747
is what'’s gonna
make you a great one.
157
00:05:56,834 --> 00:05:59,271
Thanks.Hmm.
158
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,577
You'’re a good friend.
159
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,187
All right.
160
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:03,537
I'’m gonna go get some sleep.
161
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:05,539
Good night.Good night.
162
00:06:10,108 --> 00:06:13,285
Oh, Baby Jake.
163
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:15,287
♪ Men.♪
164
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,812
It'’ll be nice having
a kid around here again.
165
00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,901
Running up and
down the stairs.
166
00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:22,469
Laughing at all
the silliest things.
167
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:25,515
And they'’ll believe almost
anything you tell them.
168
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:26,821
No kidding.
169
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:27,996
Jake still thinks
one of the first men
170
00:06:28,083 --> 00:06:29,084
on the moon was
Buzz Lightyear.
171
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,172
Ha!
172
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:31,695
[doorbell rings]
173
00:06:31,782 --> 00:06:33,654
I'’ll get it!
174
00:06:33,741 --> 00:06:36,744
You got to admit that would'’ve
been way cooler with a slide.
175
00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:44,795
Look who'’s here.Hi, guys.
176
00:06:44,882 --> 00:06:46,318
This is Louis.
177
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,972
Hi, Louis!Sweet Lou!
178
00:06:48,059 --> 00:06:50,410
[bellows]:
Lou!
179
00:06:52,107 --> 00:06:53,935
We'’re not booing,
we'’re Lou-ing.
180
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:57,634
Louis, this is Walden and Alan.
181
00:06:57,721 --> 00:06:58,548
Hi.
182
00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,636
You'’re gonna be staying
183
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:00,724
with them for the weekend.
184
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:02,378
Oh, uh, don'’t worry, buddy,
185
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:04,772
I was only supposed
to stay here for a weekend, too.
186
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:07,165
[singsongy]:
12 years later.
187
00:07:07,252 --> 00:07:09,298
WALDEN:
Oh, and, uh,
188
00:07:09,385 --> 00:07:10,691
this is Berta.
Uh, she helps
189
00:07:10,778 --> 00:07:11,996
take care of us around here.
190
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,737
Look at that face.
191
00:07:15,260 --> 00:07:17,741
Walden, you might have
some competition
192
00:07:17,828 --> 00:07:19,526
for the best looking
man in the house.
193
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,441
You mean so-some
more competition?
194
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:24,487
Nope.
195
00:07:24,574 --> 00:07:26,707
Do you have any Cheez-Its?
196
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:29,971
Uh, well, if we don'’t,
we could get some.
197
00:07:30,058 --> 00:07:32,147
Okay, I'’ll stay.
198
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,279
All right, well,
I want you guys
199
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:36,107
to get to know each other,
so I'’m gonna go.
200
00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:38,327
But you have my number
if you need anything.Oh, uh, wait.
201
00:07:38,414 --> 00:07:41,504
Uh, does-does he come with an
instruction manual or something?
202
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:44,681
You'’ll be fine.
Bye, Louis.
203
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,074
Uh, okay, uh...
204
00:07:46,161 --> 00:07:47,858
should we have tipped her?
205
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,033
You'’re asking me?
206
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:51,209
I don'’t even tip the pizza guy.
207
00:07:51,296 --> 00:07:52,689
I don'’t like pizza.
208
00:07:52,776 --> 00:07:54,256
I like Cheez-Its.
209
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,519
Oh, well, you know,
when you think about it,
210
00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:59,609
a pizza is just
a really big Cheez-It
211
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:01,785
with sauce.
212
00:08:03,265 --> 00:08:06,050
We'’re gonna get
Cheez-Its, right?
213
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,530
Berta?
214
00:08:07,617 --> 00:08:08,836
I'’m on it.
215
00:08:08,923 --> 00:08:11,099
I'’ll be back as
soon as I can.
216
00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:12,274
And, Louis?
217
00:08:12,361 --> 00:08:13,493
That'’s the first time I ever
218
00:08:13,580 --> 00:08:15,495
said that and meant it.
219
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:18,062
Hey, Louis?
Welcome to our house.
220
00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:20,761
Do you want to come on in?
221
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:23,590
Oh, my God. Look at him.
He'’s adorable.
222
00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:26,070
ALAN:
I know, I know.
He'’s like one of those TV kids.
223
00:08:26,157 --> 00:08:27,289
Maybe we can put him
in commercials.
224
00:08:27,376 --> 00:08:28,769
We know he likes Cheez-Its.
225
00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,292
Alan, do you really want to be
226
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:32,555
making less money
than a six-year-old?
227
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,949
Oh, oh, oh. Oh.
228
00:08:35,036 --> 00:08:36,603
Who is that?
229
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:37,821
This is Timothy.
230
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:38,909
He'’s a seal.
231
00:08:38,996 --> 00:08:40,128
Oh! Well, hi, Timothy.
232
00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:41,172
I'’m Walden.
233
00:08:41,259 --> 00:08:42,260
And I'’m Alan.
234
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:44,611
Timothy doesn'’t talk.
235
00:08:44,698 --> 00:08:45,916
Oh, right, yeah.
236
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:47,614
Because he'’s a seal.
237
00:08:47,701 --> 00:08:50,355
No, because he'’s a toy.
238
00:08:50,442 --> 00:08:52,662
Right. He-He'’s a toy.
239
00:08:55,883 --> 00:08:57,058
[exhales]
240
00:08:57,145 --> 00:09:00,452
Wow. Got a lot
of weekend left.
241
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:04,065
So, which one of you
is the mommy?
242
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,024
Um...Um...
243
00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:09,287
well, that'’s-that'’s
a great question.
244
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:10,593
And one I was hoping
you wouldn'’t ask
245
00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,160
in the first five minutes.
246
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,596
You know, see, in some families,
247
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:16,425
there'’s a mommy and a daddy.
248
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:18,732
But in other families,
like this one,
249
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,560
there'’s, there'’s two daddies.
250
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:21,691
Why?
251
00:09:23,737 --> 00:09:26,348
Wow, that is
another great question.
252
00:09:26,435 --> 00:09:28,829
Um... Alan?
253
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,613
No, no. You'’re doing great.
254
00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:31,788
Okay.
255
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:33,660
He'’s the mommy.
256
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,923
I told you, Timothy.
257
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:37,881
♪ Men.♪
258
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:44,322
♪ Men.♪
259
00:09:44,409 --> 00:09:46,411
Hey, Louis, check it out.
260
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:49,197
Casa de Louis.
261
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:50,938
Chez Louie.
262
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,723
San Louis... Obispo.
263
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:58,075
Basically what I'’m saying is
this is your room.
264
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,469
Cool!You know, I thought we could
decorate it together.
265
00:10:00,556 --> 00:10:03,080
Lucky. He never let me.
266
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:05,561
Oh, and check this out.
267
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:07,432
This is your bed.
268
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:09,347
But if you'’re thinking about
jumping up and down on it,
269
00:10:09,434 --> 00:10:12,176
you'’re gonna be
in a lot of trouble...
270
00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:15,005
if you don'’t!
[laughing]
271
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:18,705
Uh, we also heard, uh,
that you like to draw.
272
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:21,011
So check out
this fully stocked art table.
273
00:10:21,098 --> 00:10:23,535
You got, uh, markers,
crayons, paints.
274
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:27,017
Someone'’s gonna put
the "arty" back in "party."
275
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:28,802
[chuckles]
276
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:30,760
Okay, so, uh, why don'’t we,
uh, unpack your stuff?
277
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:33,197
We'’ll put it in the dresser,
and then we'’ll go do something.
278
00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:35,330
No, I don'’t need to unpack.
279
00:10:35,417 --> 00:10:37,071
Oh, okay.
280
00:10:37,158 --> 00:10:39,160
Uh, well, then it'’s straight
to the good times, huh?
281
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:41,815
For King Louie
the Fun-teenth.
282
00:10:41,902 --> 00:10:43,512
[laughs]
283
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,253
I apologize.
284
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:46,863
WALDEN:
So, yeah,
285
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,038
what do you want to do?
286
00:10:48,125 --> 00:10:49,561
You know, we could play a game,
287
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,825
we could go to the park,
we could go to the zoo,
288
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:54,044
we could go to SeaWorld
or Disneyland
289
00:10:54,131 --> 00:10:56,090
or Legoland, or we could
play Legos in the house,
290
00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:58,135
or we could play house,
or we could build a house,
291
00:10:58,222 --> 00:10:59,963
or we could listen
to house music.
292
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:02,923
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
293
00:11:03,010 --> 00:11:05,534
[Alan and Walden
imitating house music]
294
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,101
What'’s up, Miami!
295
00:11:07,188 --> 00:11:08,580
Oontz. Oontz.
296
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:12,106
Or-or we don'’t have
to do any of that.
297
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,368
We could...
298
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,936
do something else, like...
299
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,372
Alan?
300
00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:19,200
Uh, uh, we could,
we could go to the beach.
301
00:11:19,287 --> 00:11:20,941
Oh, that'’s a great idea.
302
00:11:21,028 --> 00:11:24,248
Oh, but where are we
gonna find one of those?
303
00:11:24,335 --> 00:11:26,381
You live on the beach.
304
00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,426
Oh! That'’s right!
305
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,602
It'’s your backyard.
306
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,300
So, what do you say?
You want to go?
307
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:33,693
Okay.
308
00:11:33,780 --> 00:11:35,738
We got an okay. Okay.
So let'’s go.
309
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:37,479
Let'’s do this.
To the beach we go.
310
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:40,090
Oh, hey, uh,
if you need a bathing suit,
311
00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:41,570
it'’s in the top drawer.
312
00:11:41,657 --> 00:11:44,094
So why don'’t you change,
313
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,487
and we'’ll change,
and then we'’ll go
314
00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:47,489
have a party on the beach.
315
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:50,448
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
316
00:11:50,535 --> 00:11:52,189
Oontz. Oontz.
Oontz.
317
00:11:52,276 --> 00:11:53,538
Oontz. Oontz.
318
00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:55,627
Oh, my God,
that was like pulling teeth.
319
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,412
Please tell me
this gets easier.
320
00:11:57,499 --> 00:11:58,848
It doesn'’t,
321
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:00,720
but the good news
is, you stop trying.
322
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,112
♪ Men.♪
323
00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:04,114
Hey, Louis,
look at this.
324
00:12:04,201 --> 00:12:05,768
We'’re almost done.
325
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,770
Yes, now all we need
326
00:12:07,857 --> 00:12:09,076
is a flag for the top.Oh!
327
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:11,078
Oh, that'’s an old Band-Aid.
328
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:12,601
Uh, how about this?
329
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,821
We'’ll take this juice box,
330
00:12:14,908 --> 00:12:17,475
flip it up here, and we'’ll put
the straw in like this,
331
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:18,738
and ta-da!
332
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:20,087
It'’s a flag!
333
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:21,436
Look at this, Louis!
334
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:22,829
All hail
335
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:26,310
the Kingdom
of Mount Berry Cooler!
336
00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,312
ALAN:
Oh, oh,
337
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:31,011
and here comes the king, uh,
returning home from battle.
338
00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:33,927
WALDEN: And what does
he have with him?
339
00:12:34,014 --> 00:12:35,319
The spoils of war,
340
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:39,019
all the Cheez-Its in the land.
341
00:12:39,106 --> 00:12:40,803
Isn'’t this cool, Louis?
342
00:12:40,890 --> 00:12:42,500
I want to go back inside.
343
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:43,632
What?
344
00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:44,720
It'’s kind of hot,
345
00:12:44,807 --> 00:12:46,287
and I have to pee.
346
00:12:46,374 --> 00:12:47,592
Well, uh, you know,
347
00:12:47,679 --> 00:12:49,943
the ocean solves
both of those problems.
348
00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,423
O-O-Okay.
349
00:12:52,510 --> 00:12:55,035
Okay,
w-w-we'’ll meet you inside.
350
00:12:55,122 --> 00:12:56,819
Hey, hey, Berta,
he'’s coming in!
351
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,125
BERTA:
I'’ve got him!
352
00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:01,171
Well, he hates me.
353
00:13:01,258 --> 00:13:02,216
What?
354
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:03,826
We spent an hour
355
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,219
building a sand castle,
356
00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:06,873
and all he did was dig a hole.
357
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:07,917
Who digs holes, Alan?
358
00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:11,051
Prisoners, they want to escape.
359
00:13:11,138 --> 00:13:13,009
Oh, Walden.
360
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:15,795
Why are the pretty ones
always so crazy?
361
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:17,709
Crazy? Am I?
362
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,537
Really? What about earlier
when he didn'’t want to unpack?
363
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:20,800
What was that all about?
364
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,584
Nobody likes to unpack.
I hate it.
365
00:13:22,671 --> 00:13:24,368
Oh, is that why
you'’ve never moved out?
366
00:13:24,455 --> 00:13:25,674
Wow.
367
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:27,589
Um, misdirected anger,
368
00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,243
your table is ready.
369
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:31,549
You know what,
he doesn'’t want to be here.
370
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:32,942
That'’s it.
371
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,901
I-I knew I couldn'’t do this.
372
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:36,903
Come on, Walden,
put yourself in his shoes.
373
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:39,383
He only spent
half a day with us.
374
00:13:39,470 --> 00:13:41,821
He'’s gonna need more time
to feel safe here.
375
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,518
Yeah, right.
376
00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,520
More time.
377
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,829
You think he'’ll love me
by tomorrow?
378
00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:51,221
Trust me, Walden,
379
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,006
he'’ll warm up to you
just like I did.
380
00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:54,442
Remember when you moved here?
381
00:13:54,529 --> 00:13:55,965
I wasn'’t sure
I wanted you to stay.
382
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,532
I bought the house.
383
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:58,968
And I made it a home.
384
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:02,232
You'’re gonna have
to have more patience with him.
385
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:04,931
Fine.
386
00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:06,584
Patience.
387
00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:08,238
[groans]
388
00:14:08,325 --> 00:14:09,718
Where you going?
The ocean.
389
00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,763
I'’m hot and I got to pee.
390
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,114
Well, be careful.
391
00:14:15,245 --> 00:14:17,117
He hates me.
392
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:22,992
Oh, there he is.
393
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:24,864
Did you put the seat down?
394
00:14:24,951 --> 00:14:26,387
I never put it up.
395
00:14:28,780 --> 00:14:30,086
Can I have a snack?
396
00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:31,740
Do we have snacks?
397
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,091
Let'’s see.
398
00:14:39,139 --> 00:14:40,923
Wow.
399
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,882
Take a load off.
400
00:14:46,537 --> 00:14:48,452
When a guy named Charlie
lived here,
401
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:51,455
I had to keep this cabinet
402
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:54,067
stocked with coke...
403
00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:58,071
...co powder.
404
00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:01,117
Because he loved hot chocolate.
405
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,814
I like hot chocolate.
406
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,816
Not like he did.
407
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,645
You like your crackers?
408
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:08,820
Yeah.
409
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:09,909
You don'’t talk much, do you?
410
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:12,999
I get it.
411
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:14,565
I was a quiet child.
412
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:16,132
In fact,
413
00:15:16,219 --> 00:15:18,265
you and I have a lot in common.
414
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,310
You like Cheez-Its, too?
415
00:15:20,397 --> 00:15:22,095
I do.
416
00:15:22,182 --> 00:15:24,445
But I was also raised
417
00:15:24,532 --> 00:15:26,447
in a whole bunch
of foster homes.
418
00:15:26,534 --> 00:15:27,622
You were?
419
00:15:27,709 --> 00:15:29,972
Yep, and I hated it.
420
00:15:30,059 --> 00:15:32,670
Moving around
all the time,
421
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,934
having to make friends
everywhere,
422
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,937
and no one ever offered me
grape juice.
423
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,941
Would you like to have
some grape juice?
424
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:44,378
Yes, please.
425
00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,380
But I got to tell you,
426
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:49,557
we both hit the lottery
with this place.
427
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:51,951
Walden and Alan
428
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,865
are the best.
429
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,650
They'’re nice,
430
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:58,174
they'’re fun,
431
00:15:58,261 --> 00:15:59,828
and guess what else.
432
00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:00,960
What?
433
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,962
They'’re easy to fool.
434
00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:08,358
Last year, I went to
my granddaughter'’s graduation
435
00:16:08,445 --> 00:16:09,707
seven times.
436
00:16:09,794 --> 00:16:12,014
[laughter]
437
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:13,146
And with that face...
438
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,410
...you can get anything
you want.
439
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,065
Welcome to Malibu, kid.
440
00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:22,633
♪ Men.♪
441
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:24,548
[knocking]
442
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,333
Can I come in?
443
00:16:27,943 --> 00:16:29,945
What you drawing?
444
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:31,729
Oh.
445
00:16:31,816 --> 00:16:33,383
A sand castle.
446
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:35,733
That'’s ironic.
447
00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:37,866
Hey, uh, c-can we
talk for a second?
448
00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,520
Sure.
All right.
449
00:16:39,607 --> 00:16:40,695
Great.
450
00:16:40,782 --> 00:16:41,826
Look, uh...
451
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:46,092
I know it'’s got
to be overwhelming being here
452
00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:49,138
and being in new places
all the time
453
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:51,662
and with new people
and a new bed.
454
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,012
I mean, heck, for all you know,
455
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:54,361
there could be monsters
under the bed.
456
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,145
There'’s monsters?
No.
457
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:57,668
That'’s a bad example.
458
00:16:57,755 --> 00:17:00,323
In fact, before you got here,
459
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,543
I de-monsterized
the entire house.
460
00:17:05,111 --> 00:17:07,548
My point is, is...
461
00:17:07,635 --> 00:17:09,028
I'’m really glad
you'’re here, Louis.
462
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,640
I just want you
to be comfortable
463
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,642
with Alan and I.
464
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:17,079
So if, so if there'’s anything
you ever need to talk about,
465
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,038
like anything at all,
you can come to me.
466
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:23,042
So, that'’s all I have to say.
467
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:27,524
Is there anything
you would like to say?
468
00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,091
Nope.
469
00:17:29,178 --> 00:17:30,701
Really.
470
00:17:30,788 --> 00:17:32,399
Just, like, just nothing?
471
00:17:32,486 --> 00:17:34,749
Like, nothing at all?
472
00:17:34,836 --> 00:17:36,446
Can I ask you a question?
473
00:17:36,533 --> 00:17:37,665
Uh, yes, of course.
474
00:17:37,752 --> 00:17:38,883
You can just, any time.
475
00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:39,971
That-That'’s why I'’m here.
476
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,582
So you just ask away.
477
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:44,672
Is it okay that I can draw
by myself for a little while?
478
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,894
Yeah.
479
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,548
Okay, yeah.
480
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:53,594
You-you want to be alone.
481
00:17:53,681 --> 00:17:55,030
I get that.
482
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,814
That is not a problem.
483
00:17:56,901 --> 00:18:00,035
So, you want your space,
484
00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:02,516
and I shall give it to you.
485
00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,518
I will withdraw while you draw.
486
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:06,781
[chuckles]
487
00:18:10,828 --> 00:18:12,743
Son of a bitch.
488
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:18,053
♪ Men.♪
489
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:23,319
Walden?
490
00:18:23,406 --> 00:18:24,799
[gasps]
Oh, God.
491
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,757
Oh, Louis.
492
00:18:26,844 --> 00:18:28,455
Oh, hey.
493
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:29,934
[groans]
494
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:31,501
What'’s going on, man?
495
00:18:31,588 --> 00:18:33,155
It'’s really late.
496
00:18:33,242 --> 00:18:35,026
I had a question, and you said
we could talk any time.
497
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:36,811
Well, that'’s-that'’s just
498
00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:37,942
something that people say,
499
00:18:38,029 --> 00:18:39,422
but, I, uh...
500
00:18:39,509 --> 00:18:42,033
Yeah, what-what'’s up?
501
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,731
Am I gonna stay here with you?
502
00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:45,211
What do you mean?
503
00:18:45,298 --> 00:18:47,256
Sometimes I go to a house
for a weekend,
504
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:48,997
but then I don'’t stay.
505
00:18:49,084 --> 00:18:50,912
Oh, buddy, that'’s what
you'’re worried about.
506
00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:52,870
Well, come here,
c-come here, okay?
507
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,525
Jump up here.
508
00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:59,399
Hey, listen.
509
00:18:59,486 --> 00:19:02,532
You can stay here as long
as you want to.
510
00:19:02,619 --> 00:19:04,534
Do you want to?
511
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:07,537
Uh-huh. I really like it here.
512
00:19:07,624 --> 00:19:09,670
That'’s... great.
513
00:19:09,757 --> 00:19:11,933
Really surprising,
but it'’s great.
514
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:14,065
Hey,
515
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,632
I'’m not going anywhere,
516
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:18,200
and as long as you want
to be here,
517
00:19:18,287 --> 00:19:19,984
you'’re not going anywhere,
either.
518
00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:23,510
And believe me, Alan is gonna be
here longer than the both of us.
519
00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:26,426
So don'’t you worry.
520
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:28,167
Thanks.
521
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,777
So you really like it here, huh?
522
00:19:29,864 --> 00:19:32,214
All right, what was
the best part of the day?
523
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:33,476
BOTH:
The Cheez-Its.
524
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,870
Yeah.
525
00:19:35,957 --> 00:19:37,088
And I like Berta.
526
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,568
Berta'’s great,
527
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:39,917
and you like me, too, right?
528
00:19:40,004 --> 00:19:42,050
Berta'’s so funny.
529
00:19:42,137 --> 00:19:44,008
Patience, patience.
530
00:19:44,095 --> 00:19:45,575
Listen,
531
00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:46,576
as long as you'’re happy.
532
00:19:46,663 --> 00:19:48,056
Cool.
533
00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:50,580
It is cool, Louis.
534
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:52,060
It'’s very cool.
535
00:19:55,150 --> 00:19:56,717
Where'’s Alan?
536
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,809
Look at us.
537
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:03,506
We'’re like
the Three Musketeers.
538
00:20:03,593 --> 00:20:05,116
I don'’t think the
Three Musketeers
539
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,770
shared a bed.
540
00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:07,902
You don'’t know that.
541
00:20:07,989 --> 00:20:09,556
They were French.
542
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:11,079
Where'’s Berta?
543
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:12,341
No.
544
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:14,300
♪ Men.♪
545
00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:23,222
♪ Men.♪
546
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:25,049
And then you pull the bird back,Uh-huh.
547
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:26,877
and then let them go fly
into the pig'’s house.
548
00:20:26,964 --> 00:20:29,924
And then they roll around,
and then they explode.
549
00:20:30,011 --> 00:20:31,795
And then it'’s fun.
550
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:33,536
Angry Birds sounds like
it'’s fun.
551
00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:36,278
You know,
I bet the birds are so angry
552
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:38,106
'’cause they don'’t get
enough sleep.
553
00:20:38,193 --> 00:20:40,282
It'’s the pigs
who should be angry.
554
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:42,763
The birds are always crashing
into their house,
555
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:45,983
even when they build them
out of ice or in space.
556
00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:47,681
I wonder if the pigs are
from Three Little Pigs.
557
00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,509
That'’s messed up
because the wolf already broke
558
00:20:49,596 --> 00:20:51,946
their old houses.
559
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:54,253
Little help, Alan?
560
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:57,256
[Alan snoring]
561
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,780
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
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