All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S10E08.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

creepy guys, and a Halloween
surprise.

Some of the tans you see might
be fake,

but these people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been given a little
zhoosh for your entertainment.

- Bad boy, bad boy.

- [Narrator] Previously
on The Only Way is Essex.

- What do you reckon, suit me?

[laughing]

- I just feel like
boyfriend and girlfriend

comes, like, loads of pressure.

- So we're exclusive, but
you're not my girlfriend, huh?

- No.

- You know I always have
a good time with you,

but I think we can have
a good time as friends.

Maybe friends who fancy each
other.

- 150.

- 200.

[people cheering]

- What about Joey, do
you reckon he would bid?

- I don't think he will
personally.

- He should be shouting
his love from the rooftops.

- 250 pages for sale.

- Make it a grand, eh, fuck it.

- [Joey] 2000.

[upbeat dramatic music]

[funky upbeat music]

[screaming]

[laughing]

- When Joey walked in I was
like,

I literally, I just had
my hands across my mouth,

I was shocked.

When I was doing the catwalk,
like,

I was sort of looking out

and I just knew he wasn't there

so when he bid and when he
walked through the door,

I was like, "Yes!"

- Joey was actually like
your prince charming

come flying in, he rescued you.

- It's made him so much more
attractive

to me so now it's like now what?

- I've got a text from Dan.

- [gasps] Saying?

- Oh my god!

- [Billie, Sam And Lucy] What?

- [Sam] He hasn't let you down?

- [Lucy] Oh no, he hasn't?

He hasn't mugged you out?

- Hey Ferne, looking
forward our date later,

hope you are too.

Wear Lycra and don't worry,
you're in safe hands.

What the F!

It's my first date

out of a 3 year relationship
wearing Lycra

- He wanted to see your ass!

- Oh my god.

Do you think he's good for me?

- [Billie And Lucy] I do!
- It's good for you!

- Do you know what as well,

'cause Dan's a really nice guy

and he'll treat you nice.

- Lucy will give you advice on
Dan

if you really want some advice.

- Coming from someone that's
been on a date with Dan,

here's your perfect woman to
give advice.

- [Ferne] This is awkward.

- No it's not awkward

- It's not awkward,

'cause with me and him
it wasn't anything--

- It was a holiday romance.

- [Lucy] Yeah, we went on--

- Oh god, he was your rebound,

maybe he's my rebound, no!

All right, listen,

I was feeling very
charitable on the night.

- Plus we're, like, rubbing
salt in the wounds of Charlie

and that's what you wanted.

- Plus all you gotta think

is that you're gonna look great
in Lycra.

- I'm not gonna look great in
Lycra.

- [Lucy] Yeah, you are!

- You got a nice bum, you got
nice boobs,

as long as the camel toe
doesn't come out you'll be fine.

- What's the deal then,
are you and Tom exclusive

or boyfriend and girlfriend?

- I don't want a boyfriend, I
dunno,

it's my problem not his.

- So what different with
you being exclusive or--

- I don't know, I honestly don't
know,

but if he asks me today
will you be my girlfriend,

I'd say no.

- It's not anything to
do with Mario is it?

- No, I mean maybe it's to do
with him

that I can't let my guard
down and have a boyfriend,

but it's not to do with him as
in--

- [Sam] You wanna be back with
him.

- I wanna be with him.

- I feel like Mario is
still floating around

in your head somewhere.

- I don't know.

- This'll be the first party

that me and you host together,
Rick.

- I know.

- What is everyone gonna go as?

- So the theme is the seven
deadly sins.

- Right.

- So what are you gonna be then,
Nan?

Greed, laziness, vanity.

- I think a lot of people
lust after you, Pat.

- Yeah, you are loved, Nan,
so maybe you should be lust.

- Right, okay then.

- How about Lewis and
Elliott both bidding for Sam

and then Joey coming in.

- Has he done that out of pride

and just thought, like,

I'm not letting anyone else
buy her, I'm having her.

- Maybe he got envious,

so then he got greedy.

- And then 'cause of his pride,
he started lusting over her.

- He started lusting her.

He wasn't going to be a sloth

and stay back anymore and wait
for her.

That's it, boom!

He's got 'em all.

[funky electronic music]

- Do your best ghost noise, this
is mine,

look, watch, ready.

[howling]

[laughing]

- Have you ever tried doing a
Luigi board

or anything like that?

- Ouiji board.

- Luigi board

- It's called thee Ouiji, right?

Ouiji?

- It's Luigi board.

- I thought it was Ouiji.

- Mate, I did not expect you at
all

to come out with that bid.

- [Joey] What?

- You literally come out of
nowhere like a superhero.

- Like superman, innit?

- Yeah and, like, bid for her.

Do you think it's a good idea
though?

- Mate, look at the end of the
day, yeah?

[Joey and Arg talking
indistinctly]

With me and Sam, yeah?

She knows I care she I care
about her more than any boy

in the world right now,
you know what I mean?

- [Arg] Right, okay.

- And obviously I still
love Sam and stuff,

but she knows that what I want
is

to be cool 'round each
other, you know what I mean?

- Trying to get my pump on
today.

- Why?

- I got a bit of a date
with Ferne later, ain't I?

- Oh yeah, about that [giggles].

- What you got to say about it?

- Well, it's quite funny,
literally when we was bidding,

her face was like, I need to
beat her, I need to beat her.

- The bottom line is you
wanted to go out with me.

- I'm spending time
with you free of charge

and that's all that matters.

- Lucky you, eh?

- Are you actually looking
forward to the date?

- I am, I think it will be good.

- Do you find her attractive?

- Yeah, she's a pretty girl.

- What, better than me?

Oh my god, you're actually
hesitating

and thinking about it.

- Well I don't think you're
actually gonna like the answer.

- Fine.

- I'm joking.
- [Jasmin] Whatever.

Yeah, but you definitely wanted
me to win, let's not lie.

So where are you actually taking
her?

- I wanted to do
something fun rather than,

you know everyone just goes for
dinner

and it's a bit boring, innit?

So I think we're gonna go rock
climbing.

- Rock climbing?

- Yeah.

- Oh good, you can push
her off at the top.

[laughing]

- What do you think?

- Oh, it's lovely

- It's very nice, Mario.

- Isn't it?

- Very smart.

- Yeah?

- [Charlie] Yeah, I really like
it.

- This for me now is the next
step.

With everything that's
happened, I think with the flat,

even though it's mine,

I think it's still the place
in which I shared with Lucy.

We're both going our separate
ways

and start our own chapters
separately,

this is my chapter and
this is my fresh start.

- So you've heard about Tom and
Lucy,

that they're, like,
official now, aren't they?

- This is the thing, like,
I don't understand with Tom,

like, he still has this thing in
his head

that I've given advice to Ferne

because I want it to get back to
Lucy.

- But do you think Lucy
sometimes,

no matter what somebody's
telling her,

like Ferne, anybody that
confides in her,

the conversation always goes
back to Lucy.

- I've been friends with
Ferne for many years.

- Yeah.

- So I'm gonna give Ferne
advice.

It's nothing to do with Lucy,

why has everything always
gotta be to do with Lucy?

At the end of the day me and
Lucy were talking before Vegas.

I did sort of think we
would get back together

and then we went to Vegas
and she went with Tom,

so Tom should take that
as a credit to the fact

that she chose Tom, she didn't
chose to come back with me,

she chose Tom.

- [Charlie] She chose
Tom and that's it now.

- Just be thankful for the fact

that you've got a beautiful
girlfriend.

[calm electronic music]

- Right, Elliott,

I think your legs are perfect
now

and I'm a bit, all this
bending down [groans].

- Top half, torso?

- [Gemma] Yeah, fine, okay.

- Come here, take it away.

- So, you know how much I love
love

and romance and everything?

- Yeah.

- And after all this
hassle with Arg and Rami

and Rami and Arg for a million
times,

I have decided to have
a mystical love night.

Basically this person comes

and does this like mystical love
stuff

and all of us will find
eternal love forever,

'cause at the minute,
everything's is going a bit
wonky.

[laughing]

- Don't you think?

Me and Rami have been
on and off for a year

and we've finally managed
to sort out our differences.

My heart is telling me give
it another go with Rami, like.

- You should always go with your
heart

to a certain degree, Gem.

- I've got to go with my heart.

Right, turn 'round,

let me do your bum, just
in case someone sees it.

- [Elliott] Give a wedgie?

- Yeah, oh my god you've got a
furry bum!

There's proper fluff there,
Elliott.

That's proper manly, innit?

- Oh my God!

I haven't seen you for ages!

- [Lucy] I've missed you so
much.

Oh, god!

- I actually have been
extremely worried about you.

- You always worry, you
don't need to worry about me.

- Well that's me, isn't it?

I'm like maternal.

You know do you not think
that this whole thing with Tom

has gone a bit too fast?

- Yeah.

- Do you really like him?

- I do, I do, I don't think I
expected it,

I don't think he expected it

but I know that I don't want
to be with with someone.

- For me I feel that

you only really do have
one true love in life.

- Oh, Debbie.

- I know you don't want to hear
this.

How do you feel about Mario?

Tell me the truth.

- You know what I think.

- No, I--

- You do, Deb, like
obviously I will always,

I'm always gonna love him.

- I know you love Mario

and I know he absolutely will
love you 'til the day he dies.

- It terrifies me that I'm
never gonna meet anyone

that loves me as much as he
does.

I feel really lonely,

I feel like I've got no
one, like, protecting me.

- I want you to find out who you
are.

Have your time.

- A part of me, like, I
wont give my all to Tom

because part of me held back
thinks I should be on my own.

I feel so bad 'cause
he's so nice to me, Deb.

- You haven't got to feel bad.

If you don't be honest with him

then I think he's gonna fall
madly in love with you, Lucy.

In fact he's probably fallen
madly in love with you already.

- Oh my God.

[laughing]

Rock climbing, I'm gonna
be so shit at this.

- Don't worry, I'll catch ya.

- Do you want me to help
you put your harness on?

[laughing]

When you texted me, I was like,
Lycra.

How am I going to look fit in
Lycra?

- But you do look fit.

And I've got tracksuit bottoms
on

and a t-shirt and you do look
good.

- Maybe you can actually
take the shirt off.

Can you do rock climbing?

- No, you can't do it
without your shirt on, sorry.

- That's a shame.

I wasn't gonna let Jasmin beat
me.

- I was kind of hoping you'd
win.

- That was the, really?

- Yeah.

- Why?

- I just, I dunno,

fancy you a bit.

[laughing]

[upbeat rock music]

- You got slightly outbidded
at the old fashion show,

didn't ya?

- Slightly?

Geeza doubled me, mate!

- Can you really see you and
Sam,

like, being just friends, like--

- Do you know what, to be
honest,

I'm always gonna have
feelings for the girl

and I feel like if me
and her being friends

made her feel uncomfortable

about any aspects of her
relationships elsewhere,

whether it be Joey

whether it be anyone else
she wanted to be with,

I wouldn't want to put that
stress on her,

but it's a shame 'cause
the girl meant a lot to me.

Do you think they will
get back together now?

- I dunno.

If they end up back together,

then obviously if they're both
happy

and it works, then great,

but I just don't want to have
to see him go through it,

all of what he went through
before, do you know what I mean?

- If he's saying one thing to
Sam

and then saying another
thing to other people,

he needs to man up and
do something about it

and that's why, I mean, look
if Elliott kept on bidding

I would've kept on bidding the
other night

but because Joey walked in,

I thought what more can someone
ask him?

What more could her friends ask
of him?

What more can Sam ask of him?

But he now has to take that
momentum

and do something with it,
otherwise what was the point?

- Now I'm here, now I'm all
strapped in,

I feel like I wanna get to the
top.

- You look good, you look ready,

look you've tied your hair back,

this is it.
- [Ferne] Yeah, exactly

- She means business.

- But there is just one thing,

that's, like, putting me off a
little bit.

- What?

- I just can't look at it,

I just feel like I've
gotta keep my eyes here.

- Why?

- Dan, it's your bulge, what is
[laughs]

I can't, what is that?

- What do you mean what is it?

It's this, it's too tight.

- It's huge.

- [laughs] Stop looking at my
bulge.

Ready to climb.

- [Ferne] I'm going, Dan.

- [Dan] Oh, dear.

- [Ferne] I'm off.

- I thought I was gonna be
flying up this.

- Well, your bulge is getting
bigger from this angle.

[laughing]

[screams] No!

No, this is such a bad angle.

[laughing]

[vibrant rock music]

[Lauren speaking indistinctly]

- [Diags] You look...

- [Lauren] Skinny.

- [Diags] Stupid.

These look good, but
yours is just a red cape.

- [Lauren] Yeah, it's not
really very flattering

in this area,

I look like I've got saggy
tits and a wonky wand [laughs].

Why are you not trying anything
on?

- 'Cause I know what I'm
wearing.

What're you wearing?

- I'm going as a sloth.

Sloth's one of the sins innit?

I'm just gonna strap a lilo to
my back,

duct tape it to my back, so
wherever I go I can lie down.

- What, so you're just gonna
fall back onto your lilo,

like straight back?

- As soon as people are going,

"Oh my God, like, what's
going on with Lucy,"

[snores] straight back in to
my...

[laughing]

I sorta know what Tom's gonna
be.

- Whats he gonna be?

- think he's color-coordinating
with Lucy.

I think he's got a dog
collar that matches her lead.

Come on, get changed.

Seriously, need to go home.

[bell ringing]

- Hello, mate!

Diego, what's happening?

- [Diags] What's happening, you
good?

- Not too bad, you?

- [Lauren] Oh shit,
it's Charlie and Mario.

- [Chloe] Shut up.

- I'm with Chloe and Lauren,

just checking out some Halloween
shit.

- So where are they then?

- Just in here, girls?

- [Lauren] Shall we just walk
out?

We'll say bye and just leave.

- [Chloe] We can't stay in here
can we,

lets just go and do it.

- [Lauren] Go on.

- Hi.

- Hey.

- [Charlie] Hey, guys.

- Shall we go?

- Yes, bye.

- [Chloe] See you later.

- [Charlie] See you later, guys.

- Well, that was awkward.

- Yeah, I don't really know why.

- I thought I'd handled it
right.

- Oh well, right, let's
find you an outfit.

- Let's find me an outfit.

I want something with a
mask, mate, seriously.

I think I need it tonight.

- [laughs] Yeah.

[calm music]

- This balloon that you're
holding,

I want you to empower it,

so as you breathe in through
your nose,

you are absorbing all the new
energy

and you're exhaling into the
balloon all the negative.

I want you now to invite the
colour pink in to your minds.

This is the colour of love.

[bell ringing]

Sam, what's the negativity

that you've empowered
that physical object with?

- Everyone around me and Joey,

that's whats holding us back.

- And your positive?

- My positive is to reconnect,

grow stronger and make things
work.

- Excellent, I want you
to take your balloon

and let it go now.

Bobby, my man.

- My negative, I carry around,
like,

an emotional sack of shit
from previous relationships.

My positive is,

I just wanna kind of
open up my heart, really,

and find love and find a decent
bloke.

- Gemma.

- The fact that every
diet I go on don't work

and the positive is now

that basically me and Rami
will get on very smoothly

and hopefully at the end of it

good things are gonna happen.

- Yes.

- We'll let this balloon go
then.

- [Love Master] Yeah, let it
go, let go of that weight.

- Oh, it didn't wanna go,

is that a sign [mumbles] go on?

- Well, it did go eventually.

[upbeat spooky music]

[doorbell ringing]

[phone ringing]

- Hello.

- [Diags] What's your
favourite scary movie?

- Who's this?

- [Diags] Who's this?

- It's Tom, mate, who's this?

- [Diags] Who do you want it to
be?

[sinister laughing]

[doorbell ringing]

[yelling]

- [Tom] You scared the
life out of me, you dick.

- Oh my god, you're such a
pussy.

- [Tom] Oh, shut up.

- Diags, come on!

- [Tom] You're lucky I
didn't knock you out.

- You got so shook, man.

[sinister laughing]

- [Nanny Pat] Oi, oi,
don't keep eating them.

- One more.

- No, they're for the party!

- I think they've invited
everybody.

- Yeah I know, everyone's
going, aren't they?

- [Carol] Yeah.

- Even that Lewis is
going I think, isn't he?

Billy big bananas Lewis

and you know a new ex that's on
the scene.

- He has come in a bit,
like, on power hasn't he?

I'm here, it's like as if he's
landed.

- Yeah, Sam's got like
a 1000 ex-boyfriends

all jumping in on the scene

and it's like, you know,
she's caused uproar, she has.

- In other words you're jealous,

because they're all younger than
you!

[laughing]

[mumbling]

- That's it, that's it.

[knocking]

- I bet that's trick or treats
already.

Guess who it is.

- Hey!

- He hadn't even had a bath,
look at him!

- I have, I've been washing
Lewis's car with him.

- I can smell it.

- You look like a sack of shit.

- I know you don't care about
this,

but we was having a bit of
banter

and he was basically sorta
saying his intentions

were to outbid you in the
[chuckles].

- Well he got sorted, didn't he?

- When Joey came in

he reckons he was only stepping
back,

'cause he says he doesn't want

to get in the way of true love

and he wants Joey and
Sam to be happy together.

- What a pile of crap.

He went in there and he was
bidding left, right and centre.

I only made one bid for Sam
anyway.

Does he think that I'm
threatened by him?

Is that what this is?

All you young whipper-snappers
are biting

at me heels all the time.

[Arg laughing]

- I can't believe you're not
coming mate,

you're, like, the king of the
fancy dress.

- Mate, you know what?

I really wanna come boys but I
can't

- You're going out with Sam,
aren't ya?

- [Diags] Where you going?

- I was thinking of maybe, like,

taking her back to the dump,

but she don't know, so it'll be
sick.

- Oh yeah, she'll love that.

I must be completely missing
something

'cause I think that is a shit
date.

[laughing]

- How was that date
anyway, you had with Lucy?

- You getting together or?

- Basically I just
wanted to take her there

and just go to her, "What's
going on?"

- So you're the girl in this
relationship?

You're the one who's scared

and worried about where it's
going.

- She's going, "Nah, I don't
want

to be boyfriend and girlfriend."

I'm like, "Okay, that's fine."

Stop staying round my house
every night.

I've told her if you
wanna slow things down,

let's slow things down.

She's going, "No," she don't
want to.

- So basically she's got full
control.

- [Joey] She's got the
remote, she controls it.

- No, mate, I'm the
batteries to the remote.

- You seem that you
really, really like her.

[rain pouring]

[spooky rock music]

- I feel like the hurricane wind
stuff

is adding to the spookiness.

- [Ricky] Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Imagine if the power goes out.

- Oh don't, I'll shit my
Calvins!

[laughing]

- We had these harnesses on,

it created this,

like, this bulge.

- No wonder you thought it went
well!

- [Lucy] Yeah!

- I literally couldn't control
myself.

It was like he was
packing some in the trunk.

[laughing]

- What's going on with you and
Tom?

- We're good, yeah no, we are
good,

but I think I need to slow it
down

but is that what he wants as
well?

'Cause I don't want to...

- I think he's really into you

but by sort of prolonging it,

in the long run that's
going to hurt him more.

- I need to sit down
and be honest with him.

- The best place in the whole
world.

- I should have known--

- Did you not know?

- That you were gonna bring me
here, no.

- [Joey] How sick is this?

- [Sam] What've you brought me
here for?

- Do you know where we are?

- Yes, the tip.

- This was our first date.

I thought I'd bring you here,

'cause I thought where
else could I take you

where like, what's it called,
rinkindle?

- Rekindle.

- Rekindle the um...

- [Sam] The romance.

- The passionate side of me.

- How is this passionate?

- This is well passionate!

- I should have expected this.

- [Joey] I've got another
surprise.

- [Sam] Have you?

- Should we get out of here?

- Yeah.

- Come on, let's go in my car,
come on.

[dramatic music]

- You don't look very
Halloweeney, babe.

- I've made the biggest
scary Halloween effort ever.

- I did not say you
didn't make any effort,

you look really good,

you look too nice to be
Halloween.

- You're full of compliments
you are, aren't you?

- It's not scary though.

- It's like compliment after
compliment.

You look cool though.

You are lucky that you've got
the physique

to kind of get away with it.

- It was nice to get to know you

and spend time with you on my
own

and I would like to take you
out again if you're interested.

- Yeah, definitely.

- [Dan] Yeah.

- No, I'm looking forward to it.

- [Dan] Do you care?

- Not really.

- Joe, just--

- All right, all I'm saying
is don't be annoyed at me.

- Okay.

- But I've done I've basically,
like,

changed your lounge about.

- [Sam] What have you done?
[laughs]

- [Joey] I've moved the
sofas and everything.

- [Sam] Oh my god.

- [Joey] How good is it?

- [Sam] That is so cute,
what is this, a tent?

- [Joey] Yeah.

- Oh my god.

- I was gonna do it in the
forest

but then obviously it was
raining so we couldn't.

How good is it?

- [Sam] Lovely, did you do all
this?

- [Joey] Yes, I knew you'd love
it.

- Aw, thank you.

- You like it?

- Yeah, what we gonna do, get
in?

- Yeah, come.

- Are we actually getting in it?

- Yeah, come on.

- [Sam] I can't believe
you've actually done this.

- [Joey] Do you want this in all
the time?

- Wow, I like the sandwiches!

- Sick, innit?

Basically, you know the
sandwiches I did last time,

I put ham and cheese in
different ones.

- [Sam] I've got to take these
boots off,

you've gotta help me.

- This time I put the ham and
cheese

inside the same sandwiches.

- [Sam] It's amazing

- That's how you like them,
don't ya!

- [Sam] Yeah.

- All's fair in love and war.

- Ready, steady, go.

- [Diags] Team [mumbles].

[laughing]

[cheering]

- That was one with his hands.

He's using his hands!

- [Diags] Come on!

[laughing]

- [Ricky] That's it,
we're done, we're done!

- Cheating!

- No!

- Ah, here we go!

- I've got a bigger mouth.

- [Ricky] I can declare
the winner, Elliott.

[cheering]

- That's the one thing you're
at better than me mate,

I'll take that.

[laughing]

[upbeat pop music]

- A little bit jealous?

- You know what, it's not that
she went on a date with Dan,

it's that she went on a
date with someone else.

- So finally you're admitting
something.

- Yeah, you know I am admitting
it,

I wish I'd went on a date with
her.

Oh, hello skeleton man.

- How you doing, you all right?

- Hi.

- [Mario] Can I talk to Lauren?

- Yeah, I think we are
gonna leave you two alone.

- Let's go get a drink.

- What's going on?

- Nothing.

- Why are we awkward then?

- I just didn't really
like how you gave me, like,

some big speech

which was a little bit
condescending, a little bit
smarmy.

I just think you could have rang
me,

you could have texted me

and said, "Oh, meet me,
like, away from a nightclub,"

not done it on a night out.

- All I can do is apologise for
everything

because I don't want anymore
drama

and it seems to be

that everyone in my life that I
care about

seems to leave my life

and I don't want you to leave my
life

just because of a stupid reason.

- It's hard, like, obviously
I'm gutted we are not friends

but I genuinely do feel like

you didn't have the right
intentions

with this whole situation.

- [Mario] Yeah, I did.

- I think you were tryna piss
someone off.

- So what you mean is, you
think I'm tryna piss Lucy off.

I'll sit here and tell
you I do still love Lucy,

but I don't want to be with her,

but I hate the fact that you,

as well as everyone
just goes back to Lucy.

We're both adults, Lauren, we
are.

- No, because the traits you
hold

aren't traits I look for in a
friend.

- Okay then, that's fine.

That's fair enough.

If you want things to carry
on being awkward, it's fine.

- Well we don't have to be
awkward,

we just avoid each other.

- Okay, I just thought you of
all people

would be more mature
about the whole thing.

- I'm not being immature, Mario

and that's really fucked me
off that you've just said that.

[quirky instrumental music]

- I haven't really seen you all
night,

have you had fun?

- Yeah, it's been good.

- You look nice though.

- Thanks, darling.

- Who're you supposed to be?

- I'm not supposed to be anyone,
I'm supposed to be greed.

- What's the matter?

You look like you're
thinking about something.

- I bumped in to Debbie earlier.

- Yeah.

- We just had a little
bit of a heart to heart

and we spoke about love life

and me, you.

I've always sort of had a
boyfriend

or been in a relationship

and she thinks I should be on my
own.

I think maybe we're moving quite
fast.

If this was like different
circumstances,

probably I would just
let it sort of just run

and see what happened but I'm
sort of a little bit guarded.

- Is it just because you have
come out

of a long relationship

and you are worried about
getting in to one again?

- Every relationship I've ever
had

always ends horrible for me,
always.

And like I don't want that.

And I really like you and it's
shit,

but I think I've gotta, like,
protect myself this time

and say, right, I'm gonna step
back.

- So what are you saying?

- I don't want a boyfriend,
I don't want a relationship.

I can't be bothered with all
that shit.

I can't be bothered with
arguments,

I can't be bothered with
paranoia,

I can't be bothered with,
like, the cheating--

- The thing is--

- I can't be bothered with all
that

and I'm not saying that
you would do that to me

but I don't want it all, I'm not
ready.

I know I need to chill--

- [Tom] Take a chill pill.

- I'm telling you the truth.

- Yeah and I'm glad you finally
are,

because for the past four weeks

you probably haven't been
telling me the truth.

It's totally up to you,

if you think we should
stop seeing each other,

then its fine, mate,

I'm cool with that, I'm a big
boy,

there are plenty more fish in
the sea.

If you wanna carry on seeing
me, carry on seeing me,

if you don't like me

and you don't wanna do it, then
we won't.

If you wanna to be on your
own, be on your own, it's cool.

- So why did you bid for me?

- Why?

'Cause I just wanted to save
you.

- From what, from everyone else?

- Yeah, because I know for a
fact

that you wouldn't want to go
on a date with anyone else.

- No.

- And I knew I'd make you
smile if I did it, so.

- I know that you say to me,

"You know I always care about
you, you know I love you,

you know I've got feelings for
you,"

but actions speak louder than
words.

So although you keep saying it,

I was getting to the point
where I was thinking, does he?

But tonight has proved it more.

because you've actually done
something,

you've took me to the dump, I
know it's not very glamorous,

but you've took me there

and it shows to me that
actually you do care

and you've done this.

- Obviously what happened
before,

I was devastated and
heartbroken,
I was upset, wasn't I?

And you weren't happy.

I would never, ever wanna go
back

to that situation, if
it ever got like that

it would just be horrible,
wouldn't it, again?

- That would be the worst

because obviously we had our
good times,

we had really, really, really
bad times

so that's what I think is
going to be the only problem,

like, now that's all we both
don't want

is for that to happen again.

- Yeah, so I don't wanna go
backwards.

That's one thing I'm scared of.

Going back to how we used to be.

Don't want that.

- Me too.

I suppose we've just got to
take it one step at a time

- Right now this is good.

- This is the first step.

- This is good.

- And then what's the second
step?

- We're just friends right now.

- Yeah.

- [Joey] Yeah.

- Just friends?

- [Joey] You can call it
friends with feelings.

- Friends with feelings, yeah.

And at the moment we're
enjoying ourselves, we're happy.

When we split up it was
like losing a best mate.

- Deep down I still am your best
friend.

You've got your friend back now.

- Yeah.

- Do friends kiss?