All language subtitles for Shakespeare & Hathaway 5.8 sub - HDFull. org

It comes with this 500ml cup if you're
making a smoothie or a milkshake for

yourself. But there's also an additional
2 litre glass jug for larger amounts.

It's a great option to have, isn't it,
Tony? Yeah, absolutely, Val. And with

crushed ice feature, you can even knock
yourself up a batch of margaritas.

Yes, and you do know how I love my 6 o
'clock cocktail, don't you, darling?

Blenders like this normally retail at
over £100, but today we're selling this

for only £59 .99.

£59 .99. Now, Maria, I can tell this is
going to be very popular.

Absolutely, Valentina. We've already
sold an amazing 35 units, and that's

you've demonstrated how quiet it is.

Yes, and I was just about to do that.

Listen to this.

And stay tuned after the break for more
amazing bargains on the World Shopping

Channel.

And we're clear.

Who did this?

Who did this?

Get that dirty rag away!

I'm here, darling.

I'm so sorry.

I was on the phone to the channel. What
happened?

The snap lock seal is broken, but I
checked it myself earlier.

I told you, Andrew.

I told you someone's out to get me. Now
either you sort this out or you bring

someone else that can.

Or else... Oh, God. Come on, come on.
No, I can't. I can't.

Oh, come on, let's watch it again.

Just so that we can get a full picture
of the incident, yeah.

It's been going on for a while now.

Items Valentina's been using for the
live demos have been misbehaving.

Last week, a massaging mattress topper
went rogue. A rogue massaging mattress?

Ah, yeah, that's a bestseller, isn't it?
It's perfect for easing your aching

muscles at the end of a working day.

Well, this one nearly threw her to the
floor.

And today's been the final straw.

I come bearing tea. Thank you.

So tell us, what is Valentino Orsino
really like? Yes, you always look so

fabulous. Not so much there, but
usually.

Do you know who this is?

Yes, it's Valentino Orsino. This is her
husband, Tony.

They're the face of WSC.

The World Shopping Channel.

Ovs. They have shows every weekday
morning and lunchtime. It's the

primetime slots.

And your company?

Eskiler Studios.

You make these shows? For the past 20
years.

Oh, right.

It's your big birthday bargain bonanza
this week, isn't it? Yes, which is what

could do without the headache.

Our contract with the channel's up for
renewal.

We really need to smash our sales
targets.

So who has access to the products before
they're demonstrated?

Well... I do perceive here a divided
duty. I should get that. Excuse me.

You've really got no idea who might be
trying to humiliate Valentina.

She's my star talent, but with any great
talent comes high expectations.

Bit of a diva. She just knows what she
wants.

I can't go back to her without real
answers.

So I need results, and fast.

Well, we would need full access to the
studios.

Yes, we'd probably need to meet Tony and
Maria and just, like, the whole team.

So, yes, we'd love to take the job.

Thank you.

And I can count on you to be discreet.

You can't have Valentina any more
disturbed than she already has been.

Discretion is my middle name.

Right. Are our covers in place?

Yes. I am called Coco.

I am makeup artist extraordinaire,
darling.

I'm going to be doing Valentina's hair
and makeup. I'm so excited.

All right, me old Chinas. I'm Simeon
Bardolph. Just moved down from Acne.

Starting today as a junior product
fluffer.

Which I...

Pray means that I'll be sorting out the
merchandise before it goes on screen.

I'm Frank, facilities maintenance, here
to do a service on the alarms, which are

in fact cameras.

I think we've got all angles covered.

Couldn't have chosen a different name.

Excuse me, Frank is way more discreet
than Simeon and Caw -Caw.

Oh, yes, I can see why you like her.

Very Sophia Loren.

I know, right?

Sorry,

darlings. We don't want Maria to be
late, do we?

Right,

come on.

Let's get to work.

What, sir? I was told to speak to Jane.
I'm Simeon. Oh, you and your fluffer.

Nice to meet you. Andrew.

Hi, I'm Maria.

I know. Seen you on screen.

Tucked away in my booth.

Not for much longer.

It's the 20th birthday Bonanza launch
later, and we've just heard that Maria

going to be with Valentina and Tony
doing some proper presenting.

Oh, yeah?

Congratulations. That's mint, that is.

Been asking Andrew for months.

Even offered to make a cake for the
show. Well, that clearly swung it.

I don't know, he hasn't seen it yet.

Certainly didn't use anything as fancy
as all this stuff.

Oh, it'll be great, and so will you.

Right, I need a top -up.

I'm on the honey, ginger and lemon.

Ah, for the old obstinance.

Your obstinance choice?

Your voice?

Yes. Oh, I did a little bit of amdrem
back home in acne.

Well, I'll leave you in Jane's capable
hands. She's a legend. Been here since

day one. Knows literally everything
about all our products. Oh, get away

you. I'm serious.

And remember what I said.

You shouldn't let Valentina speak to you
like that.

Sorcino's just stressed, that's all.

Yeah, I saw that blender thing. That was
mad.

Any idea what happened there? Oh, I wish
I had.

I hate it when the products look bad on
screen.

It reflects poorly on me.

Oh, Maria.

We've managed to misplace the menopause
expert for this morning's show. Can you

help me check them now?

A little dusting on the T -zone there.

I know it's not very professional of me
to say this, but I think you're amazing.

Do you know, a viewer once called me the
Elizabeth Taylor of television

shopping. Who am I to argue?

Well, exactly, darling.

Shame, isn't it, about all these...

Recent accidents on air.

No, they were not accidents.

That was sabotage.

And I think I know who's behind it.

Who?

Maria.

Maria Squires? That jumped -up admin
girl has been angling for my job.

As if that's ever going to happen.

That's not argon oil, is it?

No, I was told no cosmetics containing
nuts.

Treenuts, specifically.

We're ready for you.

Done an okay job, I suppose.

Thanks.

Val, darling. Hello.

I'm the new make -up artist, Coco. I was
just admiring these beautiful flowers.

Yes, they were a gift from me.

Burton, that's a pet name.

Inside joke, you know.

Are you needed back on set?

Oh, no, no. Val's doing the morning show
solo. It's a special on the menopause,

so I'm surplus requirements.

Actually, while you're here, could I get
a touch -up? I want to look perfect for

the 20th birthday bargain bonanza
launch.

Yes, definitely.

I mean, maybe I could redo your base.

Do you have any breathtaking bronze?
That's my usual colour.

Oh, I was thinking of something a bit
more neutral.

Oh, no, no, no. I always use that shade.
It gives such a subtle glow.

Not to worry. I'll find my usual girl.

Frankie? Yes?

Andrew asked me to find you.

Sorry, you're not quite what I expected.

Yeah, I get that a lot. But rest
assured, I'm very good at what I do.

Wouldn't have been booked otherwise.

Exactly.

Should we go to set?

Does Andrew want me to set up there as
well?

Of course, that's where Valentina is.

OK.

Aren't you going to bring that with you?

What?

Er... Yeah, I guess so.

It's called the FemiFan, and it works a
treat. You just press the power button,

decide on the power that you want, and
voila!

You're good to go. It eases all those
hot flushes, and it's a bargain at only

.99. So, pick up the phone now, because
you do not want to miss out.

What's in the line in the studio?

Did you find anything useful out?

Apparently Valentina bullies all the
stars, especially poor Jane over there.

I'm delighted to welcome Frankie Cannon

of FemiChange UK.

It's lovely to meet you, Frankie.
Please, take a seat.

That is not Frankie Cannon. That is not
Frankie Cannon. Frankie?

A femi -squeeze? A femi -what? Femi
-squeeze. Oh, this, yes, yes.

Unfortunately, urinal incontinence is a
reality for so many women experiencing

peri or menopausal changes.

But the unique pelvic floor muscle
trainer, only £9 .99, is designed to

that. Why don't you show us how the femi
-squeeze works, Frankie?

There you go.

Easy peasy.

Oh, hello.

Squeeze.

Squeeze.

So easy.

I think my pelvic floor must already be
shot.

For everything we squeezed for today.
I'm really sorry about that.

For every Femi screen is bought today, a
donation will be made to Femi Change

UK. And with more exclusive offers after
the break.

And we're out.

Valentina, I am so sorry. Sorry?

Who the hell is this oaf? Hey. It really
wasn't that bad. Honestly, you were

still great.

Who are you?

This is Frank and Lou. They're the
people I hired to find your saboteur.

I thought you'd engage experienced
undercover investigators, not a second

make -up artist and an incompetent fool.

She had people spying on us.

You did this on purpose, didn't you?

No, it was a genuine mistake, I swear.

We just got our wires crossed. If you
think that you're going to help me with

the birthday bargain bonanza after that
stunt, you can think again.

And you promised he'd give me a shot of
presenting.

Did he now?

I thought we'd spoken about that.

Perhaps you should stay in your booth,
Maria, just for the time being.

I am so sick of being surrounded by
talentless and dreary

people.

Remind me again which one of them is
actually the owner of the studio?

Darling, give me a moment.

Let's get away from all the riffraff.

She's more worked up than ever. And you
were being lied to the nation as a

menopause expert.

Is this what Shakespeare and Hathaway
class is discreet?

Oh, here you are.

You feeling all right?

I'm getting there, thanks.

I shouldn't let her get to me.

I mean, it's only TV, right?

Mm.

It's just... My fiancé broke up with me
a couple of months ago.

Oh. It's been really hard.

I just thought maybe this was my chance
to, you know, show him what he's

missing. Hmm.

It's really sad, isn't it? No.

Breakups are rough.

Thanks, Simeon.

Come on, girl.

It's just... It's frustrating because
there's loads of audience research that

shows that viewers like me almost as
much as Valentina, but... Every time

says he'll give me a chance, she
intervenes.

That's out of order.

So, you know, I'd understand if you
wanted to cause a bit of Barney rubble.

Get your own back.

What, the sabotage?

No, that's not me.

Today was a genuine mix -up.

I would like to buy her a raise a drink,
though.

I'm really sorry about earlier.

I will find Valentina and I will try and
smooth things over.

I think the best thing you can do is
solve this case and fast.

Yes, well... I'm sorry, Susanna. I won't
do it again, I promise. Now, I'm sorry,

Jane, because I don't believe you.

And we're live in five, four...

And as part of our 20th birthday bargain
bonanza, we'll be giving you an

additional 20 % discount. I know, right?
Oh, go on, Jane.

We'll be showing you. However it is, the
120 ,000, we're investigating the case.

I don't know that I can. Can you believe
that we've been doing this for 20

years? I know, I know. It's just flown
by. But I think we should celebrate

properly.

Don't worry, it's about to happen.

Oh, this looks tasty. It really does.

I just want to thank all you loyal
viewers for your support. We really

nothing without you.

Now, stick around as we're going to be
showing you the latest tools and gadgets

to make baking five showstoppers like
this a doddle. Starting with our deluxe

icing bundle with 15 different nozzles.

Professional. Finish.

With your... I reckon she's having an
emergency reaction. With her EpiPen.

Professional. It should be in her bag.

I'm going to go to AdWords. Go to
AdWords.

So Val's not feeling well, so here are
the ads.

It's not in here.

There's a spare one in her dressing
room.

Quick!

I can't find it. Just keep looking.

I mean, what do they even look like
anyway?

Oh, I think I've got it.

Got it.

I've got it.

It's still there. She's dead.

Yes.

Can you get me the police, please?

Come on, Julian, this is not something
we could have anticipated. You lot,

again. I might have to arrest you for
obstruction.

I think I find we were here first.

Yeah, so actually, technically, you're
the one that's obstructing us.

No, I'm doing my job.

Well, there's much to it.

Mrs. Orsino had a known nut allergy.

Obviously, she went into anaphylaxis
when she ate that cake.

What about the missing EpiPen?

Yeah, we're looking into that.

But if I was her husband...

I'd be suing the bakery that made that
cake.

Actually, Maria made it for her.

Who's Maria?

Now, I understand you held Mrs. Orsino
responsible for thwarting your career.

I think that's a bit of an
overstatement. Still, maybe you

a cake with nuts, hoping she'd have a
reaction.

No, I knew how serious her allergy was.

And cleaned my kitchen, like, three
times to make sure it was safe.

Before I started baking.

There's no way that you'll find traces
of nuts in that cake.

Well, we'll know soon enough.

Forensics are testing it as we speak.

Well, thanks so much for coming out.

It's, uh, quite busy out there. You're
not thinking of going on air again, are

you? The lunchtime show.

What? But Valentina only died yesterday.

You know, fans might need a little bit
more time to process things.

The channel are refusing to budge on the
sales targets my hands are tied.

However, I'd also like to rehire you.

Why? No one's going to sabotage
Valentina now, are they?

I mean, he's right, though. Why would
you still need us?

To find her killer.

Hi, Simeon.

Or should I say Sebastian?

Sorry.

Last night I was called to the station
for a formal interview.

Forensics found the cake had traces of
nuts in it.

Why didn't they let you go?

They found it had been injected with a
hand cream that contained nut oil after

I'd made it. We think it might be the
same person who tampered with all

Valentina's other items.

So you want us to find the saboteur and
put Maria in the clear?

Please. The channel are on my back to
resolve this fast, and I can't have my

presenter under suspicion.

New presenter?

I know me and Valentina didn't see eye
to eye, but Tony's given me his

Who's going to be in the booth?

Oh, how about Jane Foll?

The product fluffer.

Well, Maria, you said it. She really
knows her stuff.

Jane's great. It's just she's a bit
ordinary. I'm not sure she has that

Capable flair we're looking for.

Hang on.

You said that you did Amdram?

Me? Or was that just part of your cover?

Oh, no, no. I have done some Amdram and
a three -year classical training at the

Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts. And he's
worked at the RAC?

Perfect. How do you fancy resuming your
undercover role only this time live on

camera?

Oh, whatever the case requires.

Seven, nine, two.

Cheers. And tell Will at the Mallard
that your next pint is on my tab.

So, my contact at the station reckons
it's not just the EpiPen that's gone

missing.

Valentina's mobile's gone walkabout too.

Hello. Your call cannot be taken at the
moment.

It's turned off.

Which means we can't trace it.

Are we getting all the footage?

Yeah, look at this.

Here comes Maria. She brings the cake.
She pops it on the trolley there.

And then she wheels it out of sight.

You don't think she could have tampered
with it?

Yeah, maybe. I mean, with Valentina out
of the picture, she does become the lead

presenter, doesn't she? But it's a bit
risky, isn't it, poisoning a cake you

made yourself?

Yeah, I suppose.

And it puts her right in Keeler's line
of sight.

Anybody else come in? Yeah.

Andrew? Yeah.

Goes out of sight.

And then a few minutes later, Tony.

Hmm.

And then, oh, yeah, it's Jane.

So they all could have had opportunity.

Stop it there.

She got something in her apron pocket.

So this gives you the latest sales
figures, and this shows you who's

the phone. But don't worry, they vet all
the calls before they go on air. Thank

you. And, um...

I'm sorry again for lying about who I
was.

I won't hold it against you.

Much.

So, how does it feel, finally getting to
present?

Well, I'd feel better if it wasn't under
such horrible circumstances.

It doesn't feel real. I mean, me, a
television presenter.

Marriage and kids with Fabian was all I
ever wanted.

This was taken the day he opened his
garage.

I was supposed to be head of admin and
sales.

Funny how things change.

Well, it's his loss.

Because you are about to become the new
star of shopping TV.

Lou, with an update.

You haven't seen Jane about, have you?

She didn't come in today.

I think she's too upset.

Hello. Hello.

Well, you're the investigator, aren't
you?

Yes, I am, Lou. This is Frank.

We just wanted to see how you were. We
heard you weren't in work.

Yeah, I couldn't face it.

No, not after... You murdered Valentino
Orsino.

Oh, no!

I've got footage of you by the cake in
the prep room, and you definitely had

something in your apron pocket.

That's not what you think.

You can't believe that...

You'd better come in.

Oh!

Wow. Bet you're a nightmare to buy for
for Christmas, eh?

Once an item's been demoed on screen, it
can't be sold.

They just sit, gathering dust in the
storeroom. So you thought you'd bring

a couple of things home?

I was only borrowing them.

I was going to put it all back
eventually.

I spent hours researching these
products.

So... The thing that was in your apron,
is that what you were around with

Valentina about?

She saw me slipping it into my bag.

She said she'd tell Andrew I was a thief
and get me sacked.

But you never got a chance.

I didn't kill Valentina, I swear.

So why didn't you go into work today,
then?

Yeah, I mean, it did make you look a
little bit guilty.

Well, look around you.

I am guilty.

I didn't think it was stealing, not
really, but...

When Valentina caught me like that, I
realised I was lying to myself.

I'm going to have to quit.

Maybe not.

It's never too late to make things
right.

You've got the electric foot warmer with
detachable fur muff.

I really wanted one of those. I nearly
got one, actually.

Sorry.

Oh.

Is that the...

The massage mat that Andrew said went
rogue.

Yeah, I bought it back to try and figure
out what went wrong with it.

And, um, to give it a go, of course.

Vindaloo? No, I recognise that shade.

That's breathtaking bronze.

I had a bit of a thing for Tony back in
the day, you know?

When he was, uh... On Good Morning
Stratford.

Spray on hair.

Fake tan and, er... Ooh, haemorrhoid
cream.

Yeah, I can see why you liked him. Stop
it.

Yeah, that's definitely a match.

Breathtaking bronze, that's what was on
the mattress.

Do you think he was sabotaging his wife
because she treated him like a doormat?

I don't know, I feel like it was
something more than that.

What do you think you're doing?

We're doing our job, Mr Rossino.

It was you, wasn't it?

You were the one that was meddling with
Valentina.

Well, that's ridiculous. Why would I do
that?

Because Burton isn't really your pet
name, is it?

It's the name of her lover. She was
having an affair and you found out,

you?

Well, yeah.

You don't know what it's like to be
married to such a...

She's a vibrant and beautiful woman. I
mean, I've tried to hold the years back,

but she's hardly aged since we were
married.

I suspected she was seeing someone, so I
bought some spyware for her phone. I'm

not proud. But I tracked her to a local
hotel multiple times.

And did you confront her?

What? And risk her leaving me? No.

No, I decided to...

Play some practical jokes, always
childish and stupid. I hate myself now.

So is that what the cake was about?

Maybe you didn't mean to kill her, but
you just wanted her to swell up on live

TV. That wasn't me.

I'd never risked that. I might have
wanted to humiliate her, but I never

her to come to any harm, much less die.

This spyware, was it a location sharing
app?

No, it was much more sophisticated than
that.

I could track Val's phone to within
centimetres, even when it was turned

13 calories.

Throat lozenge.

You've got to protect that voice now.

Thanks.

So, do the viewers have to pay extra for
the workouts with this, or is there

some kind of monthly fee?

I don't know. I wish Jane was here. She
always knows this stuff.

There's a contents library of over a
thousand workouts.

Turn your pack.

And with that model, you can connect
your phone via Bluetooth and exercise to

all your favourite tunes.

Hey, you ever thought about presenting,
Jane?

Oh, heavens no.

Who'd want to see me on screen?

I'm not exactly glamorous.

Now,

I don't suppose you could help me put
this lot back on the shelves?

Tony was a saboteur.

Wait. Is he the killer, then? We don't
think so.

I know this is your studio, but it
seemed like you did everything that

demanded.

Why? I told you, she was our big star.

We needed her. But audience research
showed that Maria was nearly as popular.

You could have replaced Valentina with
her. Made your life a lot easier.

Maybe there was another reason you
didn't.

Maybe it's because you and Valentina
were having an affair.

Are you crazy?

She'd eat me alive.

Then why do you have her phone?

I don't know what you're talking about.

I turned it off.

State -of -the -art spyware.

Contain phones under a mall, you know.

Did you murder Valentina?

No.

I took her phone after she died, yes,
but that's it.

She had a video of me. I needed to make
sure no one saw it.

I love your corporate tax. This
significantly reduces our liability.

That's right.

Then let's establish an LLC and get
started.

Okay.

You talk about dull.

Why was Andrew so desperate to get his
hands on that?

Because they're discussing some dodgy
tax avoidance scheme.

Apparently...

He got some massive end -of -year bill
that he couldn't afford to pay, so he

hired a specialist to do a bit of
creative accounting.

I hoped he'd save the studio.

Yeah, Valentina got wind of it.

Recorded one of the meetings.

Yeah, and then Valentina threatened to
tell the taxman if Andrew didn't do

everything she asked of him.

So with her dead, he's free?

Yeah.

Was there anything else on there?

No, just lots and lots of messages from
other men she'd been seeing.

No wonder Tony... He was upset. She had,
like, more than five of them on the go

with proper racy stuff as well.

And all you showed me was some boring
tax video.

Listen, I know we know about Burton, but
it was also Hilton, Todd, Fisher,

Wilding.

How do you know that?

Elizabeth Taylor's husbands.

Valentina must have named her lovers
after them. She did.

Icon. We need to have another look on
here. We must be missing something.

Actually, I need to go and prepare for
my live television debut.

Wish us some fryer.

Huh? Friar's tuck.

What? Good luck. Oh, very good.

Oh, I'm just getting a call from the
chocolate factory.

One of their own palumpas gone missing.

Oh, Frank.

Can't let him go on telly like that.
He's supposed to be giving a tribute to

Valentina.

Hey, Tony.

Hi. Hello.

I have a little word about your make
-up. Oh, do I need a bit more?

Um...

Many

of you, like me, saw Valentina as a true
friend.

She was an integral part of the WFC
family and we will all miss her

It looks much better. Well done. As you
know, my wife was extremely excited

about our 20th birthday bonanza
promotion.

Our best -selling items were the
whopping 20 % off.

Valentina was passionate about bringing
you the best possible deal.

So in her memory, we're going to knock
another 5 % off all prices and throw in

one of these Valentina tribute candles
with every purchase.

Really?

We've lost the whole morning and we need
to hit the channel's target.

Besides, that's what she would have
wanted.

Now, in my audience to take your calls
is the lovely Simeon. Say hello, Simeon.

Hello, Simeon.

He's going to do great, isn't he?

Absolutely.

First up is this state -of -the -art
exercise bike. Tony, would you like to

the honors?

Now, this model has access to an online
library of over 1 ,000 workouts.

Or you can simply connect your phone via
Bluetooth so you can work out to your

favourite tunes.

Tony, what do you fancy, some soft rock?

Always, Maria.

Oh, that is so smooth. Just like the
music.

Now, this bike normally retails at £299,
and we're offering it for £199

.99. But today, with your £25
discount... I think Simeon wants them to

over. No, no, you can't. We're live.

Okay, stay tight.

Just over £12 a month.

I mean, that's cheaper than a gym
membership, isn't it?

I'm sold.

I've got to get one of these.

I think I know who the killer is.

We're also throwing in the passport
wallet and matching luggage tags.

Is that a bargain or what? Well,
especially with that extra discount.

Now, our next item isn't just a razor.
It's a 15 -in -1 total grooming system.

You're doing brilliantly.

Remember, it comes with all these
attachable tools. What are they doing

We need to talk to you about Valentina's
death.

I forgot to be on camera.

What?

You think I killed her?

Well, she did destroy your dream.

What, being a presenter on a low -budget
shopping channel?

Hurry up and get the dream and the tea,
of course. Shall we go somewhere

quieter? Over to another of our
bestsellers and a favourite for all you

out there. Isn't that right, Maria?

Marie, you look very different. Have you
changed your hair?

I'm just having a joke with you.

Maria's had to step off for a moment, so
joining us now for the next item is my

good friend Lou.

Read it.

A bestseller for sure.

Let's talk about wearable sleeping bags.

What does Fabian have to do with
Valentina's death?

He's the mysterious Burton she was
having an affair with.

Yeah, at first we were having trouble
making the connection, but luckily

Sebastian here is as much a fan of the
silver screen as Valentina was.

She named her lovers after the husbands
of Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton,

famously starred in the film Cleopatra,
which is also the name of Fabian's

garage. I think that's a bit of a
stretch.

Yeah, that's what I thought until we
found this.

Valentina's phone?

Yeah, we called up Burton on it and
guess who answered?

Fabian. He had a lot to say about you.
How he couldn't accept the fact you'd

split up.

How you became obsessed with finding out
why he left you, and then you realised

he was seeing Valentina, didn't you?

And you decided she needed to pay.

It's a great theory, but unless you have
any hard evidence, I really need to get

back to that. You know, for someone who
takes such good care of their vocal

cords, I thought it was strange to see
you in the smoking shed the other day.

So I asked Frank and Lou to take a look
at the cigarette bin. Yeah.

Did, didn't he? And it's not the nicest
place to root around, but then you

found these.

I wonder what the police will find when
they check them for DNA and prints.

We've been planning our wedding since
school, me and Fabian.

The only reason I took this job, so we
could save more.

Then a few months ago, he just went
cold.

called off the engagement, moved out.

Wouldn't even take my calls.

I knew it was another woman, but I never
imagined... It was after the menopause

segment disaster. I went to Valentina's
dressing room and I was going to beg her

to let me help with the birthday bonanza
launch.

I found her on the phone.

Fabian. You can look under my hood any
day.

My Fabian. I couldn't believe it.

So you're the other woman?

How could you?

Well, you tried stealing my presenting
job.

So I stole your man.

This is about work.

Do you even love him? Of course not,
darling.

It's just a bit of fun.

You know what he meant to me. We were
getting married.

Oh, no, no.

I didn't tell him to leave you.

That was all him.

He realised he didn't want to be stuck
with you for the rest of his life.

Not once he knew what he was missing.

I'm looking forward to trying your cake.

See you on set.

Valentina had a problem with her stupid
car and I gave her Fabian's details just

to be nice.

Valentina spotted my hand cream when I
first started and she went mad because

had almond oil in it.

Banned it from the building.

But I still had it in my car.

You knew someone at the studio was
sabotaging Valentina. You hoped they'd

be blamed for tampering with the cake.

Which is why you begged Andrew to keep
us on the case.

I was going to retrieve it after we
finished today.

Dispose of them properly.

So I will need them back.

Oh, I don't think so.

I... Go!

That just looks so comfy. And it's
practical too, isn't it?

Yes, Tony.

And it's actually very lightweight.

Tony. So it doesn't just have to be for
camping.

You can wear this around the house, on
the school run, even for popping other

shops.

Well, I don't know about the shops,
Tony. It's a bit warm in here and can't

actually move much.

But I love the colour.

Oh, Lou, you're a hoot. I bet you can't
wait to take one of these home, can you?

Give me that bag.

It's all over my dead body. Give her
ideas.

Maria.

It's all over, Maria.

No!

Valentina was an evil cow. She bullied
everyone. She slept with anything that

moved. She didn't care who she hurt. I
give the world a fee for my games.

And, thank goodness, this model comes
with an automatic shut -off.

It's actually much more practical than
it looks, Tony.

Giving it a thumbs up.

I don't know if you can see that.

I honestly don't know how you lot do it.

It's a mixture of sheer stupidity and
dumb luck. I think you'll find it's

good old -fashioned detective work.

Isn't that right, Sebastian?

Yes.

And actually, it was pretty obvious if
you knew where to look.

You too know, is it?

Just what I need.

Hey, Keela, need any pointers? Just give
us a call.

Oh,

I'm so sorry about ruining your
programme.

Are you kidding?

The sales figures have been off the
chart.

The channel are thrilled.

Hey, forget promotions.

She just unveiled Killers live on air.

Oh,

hey, guys.

Guys.

I'm going to need some help getting out
of this.

I can't believe you've got it on again.

It's actually really comfy.

It's just tough to be a little bit
thanked.

A bit creative if you need a wee, you
know.

Oh, it's on.

Seb, turn it up.

Ah, he looks different.

Not just the make -up.

Yeah. Did I tell you? He sold
Valentina's fancy car, gave the money to

pay the tax bill.

Here she comes.

Jane, this looks like a complicated bit
of kit.

Oh, actually, Tony, it's so easy.

Even you could do it. Oh, look, she's a
natural.

I like you.

You know, we may nearly have been hedge
-trimmed to death, but I'm so glad

Andrew finally recognised Jane's
potential. Yeah, according to the

viewers are really enjoying seeing
somebody like them on screen, somebody

Still don't know what to stand in the
booth, though, are they? No.

It's, um, funny you should say.

I've actually been offered that job.

Full time.

Oh. Oh.

Well, we have been talking.

Yeah. And we were thinking maybe we
could pay for you to do the professional

investigator course.

Really? Yeah.

You did really well on this case. We
wouldn't have cracked it without you. We

just thought you might like the chance
to hone your skills.

I mean, we can't pay you any more money,
but we can hire someone to cover the

phones and that while you're studying.

Would I get a new job title?

Yeah.

Executive.

Investigative.

Assistant.

Joven, my stars be praised. I'd be
honoured.

You know, I think my place might always
be with Shakespeare and Hathaway and

Bruton L.

I wouldn't know Shakespeare and
Hathaway. It's got a ring to it. We

to talk about billing now. I need to
work out where I'll put my desk, switch

that, buy some business cards.

I think we've created a monster.