All language subtitles for Rawhide S06E19 Incident of the Pied Piper.eng

♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪

- Hyah!
-♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪

♪ Keep movin', movin', movin' ♪

♪ Though they're disapprovin' ♪

♪ Keep them dogies movin' ♪

♪ Rawhide ♪

♪ Don't try to understand them ♪

♪ Just rope and throw
and brand 'em ♪

♪ Soon we'll be livin'
high and wide ♪

♪ My heart's calculatin' ♪

♪ My true love will be waitin' ♪

♪ Be waiting at the end
of my ride ♪

♪ Move 'em on, head 'em up,
head 'em up, move 'em on ♪

♪ Move 'em on,
head 'em up, Rawhide ♪

-(whip cracks)
-♪ Cut 'em out, ride 'em in ♪

♪ Ride 'em in, let 'em out,
cut 'em out, ride 'em in ♪

-♪ Rawhide...! ♪
-♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪

♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin' ♪

- Hyah!
-♪ Rollin', rollin', rollin'. ♪

(whip cracks twice)

I'll say.

My left elbow's been aching
all morning.

Something in the wind, I can feel it.

It's ducks. Look at them.

[HONKING]

Those aren't ducks, Mushy.
They're geese.

Can't be geese. They don't get
together this time of the year.

Well, they're geese.
Can't you hear them honking?

Look at them swarm.

That ain't normal. Look like
they're running from something.

Uh-oh, it's a twister.

Mr. Favor!

It's bearing right down on us.

That hits the herd bunched up,
we've had it. Scatter them.

Pass the word.

ALL:
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

[ALL SHOUTING]

You heard him, get under cover.

We're just trying to save
the pots and pans.

This whole wagon's
on its way to Little Rock.

If you want to take a trip with it,
stay here.

[GUNSHOTS]

FAVOR:
Now keep running. Get under cover!

Get under cover!

Dig in low!

Lie as flat as you can.
Biggest danger's the flying stuff.

- Get back down.
- My cap.

You want to lose your head too?

- Anybody hurt?
- Not yet.

But I ate so much dust
I'm due for a bellyache.

Good thing you scattered them. Storm
would have ripped through the middle.

Could be a week gathering them up.

We can tally up our losses then.

You know what's got to be done.
Find yourselves a horse. Get to it.

- Well, what are you doing now?
- I'm looking for my hat.

Well, it's on the way to Kansas.

Come on and help me
or you'll be looking for a job.

Well, you know,
I think Mr. Favor ought to settle

for what we rounded up
and get this herd moving.

Well, we're still a hundred
short though.

With that 40 dead,
that's kind of a stiff loss.

Yeah, but we've been after it
for three days now

and time's going to start
costing him nothing but money.

[COWS MOOING]

Well, that's our brand, all right.

I guess the ride
wasn't a total loss after all.

KID 1:
Hey, mister?

Would you give me a lift down?

- What do you think, Jim?
- He sure ain't no squirrel.

- What are you doing up there, boy?
- The cows chased me.

The cows chased you, huh?
All right. Come on.

KID 2:
Hey, mister?

What about me?

It's your turn, Jim.

Come on.

- The cows are sure mean.
- Well, we're a lot meaner.

- You'll be all right now.
KID 3: Hey!

Can I come down too?

Oh, boy.

Yeah.

Any more around here like you?

Sure, over there.

What is this? Some sort of an
old-timey tree-climbing convention?

Oh, no. We live there.

Mr. Smithers told us
to watch the cows.

He sent Johnny and Pedro out
to see if there's any more.

Oh, well, that's real nice
of Mr. Smithers.

We just came to get the cows.

Well, if you want to buy them,
you'll have to talk to Mr. Smithers.

I don't know
what he sold the others for.

Sold the others?

You mean, he's been selling
his beef here?

- You never seen nothing like it.
- Ever since that tornado

they've been coming out of the hills
from every which direction.

Ugh, oh, boy.

Well, ahem, do you want to flip
to see who goes back?

Oh, no. You're the ramrod.
That's your job.

You go get him.

Me, no, I'll just stay here at the house
and keep an eye on these little fellers.

[CHILDREN SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY]

Oh, be careful, now.
Stay away from the wheels.

Whoa! Heh.

I got a surprise for you.
Wait a minute.

All right, now, you take these inside,
there's something for every one of you.

KID 1: Yay!
- Be nimble, be quick!

Here you are. There you are, Pedro.
Here, Danny. Here we are.

- Mr. Smithers, can I have one?
- You can have one, of course.

- There you are.
- Can I have one, Mr. Smithers?

Heh, two of them for you.

Oh, boy. It's just wonderful.
I got some paint for the barn,

I got a new stool for the kitchen,
and, uh, has any cows wandered by?

- Twelve at least.
- Twelve?

Oh, these gentlemen
want to talk to you about them.

Oh, splendid. Splendid.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.
Edgar Allan Smithers, at your service.

Gil Favor, Rowdy Yates,
Jim Quince.

Oh, cattlemen, I can see.

Oh, I admire you.

It must be a very challenging life,
rounding up all those wild cows

and driving them
clean across the continent.

They all ain't exactly wild,
Mr. Smithers.

Now, your daughter Betsy
was telling me--

No, no, no.
No, not my daughter, my niece.

As for the others, I'm afraid
I can't identify their antecedents.

- They're orphans.
- This is an orphanage, huh?

Well, I'm afraid
it doesn't look like much

but as I always say,
it's what's inside that counts.

Oh, I must admit
that the hand of providence

does man the helm
of our ship of life sometimes, heh.

GIRL:
Mr. Smithers.

It fits. It fits me perfect.

Perfectly.

Now, you go inside,
there's some more packages for you.

As I was saying,

providence.

The Lord moves in mysterious ways.

- Now, take that tornado last week--
- We took it all right.

Oh, why, well, I know it must have
brought havoc for some.

But to those whose ship was
foundering on the pinnacle of privation,

well, indeed, sir,
it was truly a blessing.

Sort of like cows from heaven, huh?

SMITHERS:
That's a fitting way of putting it.

A very fitting way, indeed.

You know, this is just like Christmas
to those children.

A Christmas that's long overdue.

And all because of money derived
from the sale of a few stray cows.

BOY:
Mr. Smithers.

Look, they don't fit.

Oh, excuse me.

Well, now, maybe we can have Betsy
let them down a little bit

or we can cut them off
right at the knees.

Knee pants are for girls.

SMITHERS:
Aw, oh.

Well, now, Kevin,
you have two alternatives,

- either we'll let your hair grow,
- Heh.

Or you can run inside
and change your pants

because we can have them
exchanged, heh.

Besides from the presents,

I had enough money left over to buy
some furniture, chairs and beds.

Three hundred dollars
can go a long, long way.

- Three hundred dollars?
- Three hundred dollars?

That's what you sold the beef for?

Yes, indeed.

Mr. Randolph wanted to pay
$2 a head,

but, uh, I stuck to 3,
and by sheer tenacity, I got it.

Sheer tenacity.

Oh, you drive a hard bargain.

Exactly who is this Mr. Randolph?

Oh, he runs the bank
in Cedar Springs.

Oh, now look, if you intend to do
business with him, be very careful.

He is a wily one.

Oh, I sort of gathered that already.

Tell me, uh, did he ask for a bill of sale
or papers of ownership?

Oh, well, I signed a lot of papers.

Transferals and the like.
Routine, I guess, for business.

- Heh.
- Well, we better catch up to this fellow

before he sells them
to somebody else, huh?

Well, don't let him
hike the price beyond 5.

You know what he paid for them.

Thanks a lot for telling us.
You've been a real big help.

Oh, uh, and incidentally, those, uh--
The cows over here in the meadow,

uh, would you like to buy them?
I was gonna keep a few around

but they're a little too rambunctious
for the children.

Yeah, look, how about, uh, 30 dollars,
does that sound fair?

Oh, that is more than fair.
That is very generous.

- Oh, gee, thank you very much.
- Think nothing of it.

You want me to sign a receipt
or anything?

- Who needs ownership papers?
- Uh-huh.

Mr. Smithers,

come and look at Mary.

- She's just beautiful.
SMITHERS: Oh, coming, coming.

Uh, thank you very much, gentlemen.
Nice doing business with you.

Well, a pleasure, Mr. Favor.
Mr. Yates.

And Mr. Andrews.
Good afternoon, sheriff.

This must be important business.

Mr. Randolph, I understand
you bought a hundred head of cattle

- from Mr. Edgar Smithers.
- I surely did.

- And a profitable transaction.
- But illegal.

That's right. Those cattle belong to me.
Here's my duly registered trail brand.

Ownership papers,
brand registration papers.

The brand's pretty commonly known,
Mr. Randolph.

Mr. Smithers assured me
that those cattle were strays.

- That they belonged to him.
- I'm sure Mr. Smithers believed that.

He don't know the front of the steer
from the back.

FAVOR:
But you, as a dealer in cattle,

I'm certain that you would question
his title to branded steers.

Well, I, uh, never even inspected
that beef, gentlemen.

I, uh-- I found Mr. Smithers

to be about as honorable a man
as I've ever dealt with.

I give him credit here
to feed those children.

Well, when he said he had that cattle,
I, uh, bought them sight unseen.

That's too bad. You'll just have to
work out some means

of recouping your 300 dollars
from him.

- Where have you got them corralled?
- Corralled? Heh.

I sold them on the day of purchase.

Matter of fact,
I, uh, have the papers right here.

They're all properly drawn
and executed by Mr. Smithers.

- You drew these papers up yourself?
- Well, naturally.

I wasn't about to buy something
I couldn't sell legally.

Certainly not stolen property.

Well, who'd you sell the steers to?

Well, I, uh--

I'm afraid that that is
my, uh, personal business, sir.

Don't matter.

These are good enough
for any legitimate dealer.

[SIGHS]

Mr. Smithers,
the Good Samaritan, heh.

Naive, yes, but...

Uh, how much of a loss
will this represent, Mr. Favor?

Well, who says
we're taking a loss yet?

Well, the only recourse
you have is with Mr. Smithers,

and that, heh, poor, bumbling fellow
is penniless.

Of course, I suppose,
you could thrown him in jail but...

But the kids.

There's still
the Cattlemen's Association.

If you think those scraps
are going to protect you--

Rowdy, Rowdy, Rowdy,
no need for that.

This gentleman here
has obviously acted in good faith, huh?

It's just a matter
of being taken in by a tornado

and a fool what believes
in Santa Claus.

Yeah, well, you can't blame me
for being a little upset, Mr. Randolph,

that beef would have brought me
$4000 in Denver.

Oh, tsk, tsk, that is a heavy loss,
Mr. Favor.

FAVOR: Oh, well, law of averages,
I guess. You can't win them all.

Oh, by the way, uh, how much
did you make on the transaction?

Oh, I made, uh, 2700, clear.

Well, whoever bought them
sure knew what he was up to, heh.

Yes, well, I suppose
there's no harm in my telling you,

it happens to be a very respectable
broker, name of Frank Travis.

Travis, yeah, good man.

[SIGHS]

I'm sorry that it had to be
at your expense, Mr. Favor.

Never fear. I'll just take it out
on someone else next time.

You aren't gonna let him
get away with this, are you?

Look, you can stay here
and sue Smithers, if you want to.

Me, I got a herd to take care of.
Good day.

Oh, uh, Mr. Yates, I really think
it would be fruitless

to pursue this matter any further
with Mr. Smithers. After all...

I know. The orphans.

FRANK:
Gil Favor.

[CHUCKLING]
You old sidewinder, you.

So you finally did it, huh, Frank?
You finally turned to rustling.

Oh, I only came along
with the sheriff

because I was so tickled to find out
that you, heh, finally got taken.

Thanks for picking him up, sheriff.

Rowdy, biggest thief in Texas,
Frank Travis.

Look here, Gil,
I knew that was your beef,

but, uh, I figured you sold it
for trail cash.

Not my beef, Frank, owner's beef.

And they expect to get cash for it.
Four thousand dollars' worth of cash.

You got a little problem.
Well, here's my picture:

I bought about 700 to 800 head,
at about 30 dollars,

and I'm moving them up
to the mining country

to pick up 35 to 37 a head.

But I could go bust just as easy,

so I'll give you your beef back to you
for what I paid for them.

Hmm, that's fine.
Only where do we get $3000?

From the man what stole it, I hope.

Sheriff, do you agree that Randolph
knew exactly what he was doing?

No doubt about it.
I could go on and say

that he's taken every man
in the country at one time or another.

The trouble is, he's got a whole satchel
full of papers to hide behind.

Well, if you wouldn't mind
looking the other way for a little bit,

I might be able to feed him
some of his own medicine.

Well, if I'm gonna be blind in one eye,
I sure don't want to hear the details.

That's what I like,
a lawman with a real feel for justice.

- When you pulling out, Frank?
- Tomorrow morning.

Oh, too soon. Too soon.

Can you give me four, five days?

Hmm...

Forty-eight hours, that's the outside.

- I don't get it.
- You're not expected to get it.

All you got to do is deliver this
to bank and do like you was told to.

Oh.

[ROWDY CLEARS THROAT]

Well, that's a sizable draft.

As for provisions, we're moving out.

Mr. Yates, I, uh...

I couldn't help but, uh, sense
your animosity this afternoon.

I want you to know
that I'm only a businessman.

Yeah. Well, it, uh...

It wasn't the cattle we lost to Smithers
that hurt so much,

it's the other 200 head.

Tornadoes, tsk.

Three hundred altogether?

Oh, my, that's a tremendous beating
for you to be taking.

Yeah, well, that's what I told Mr. Favor,
but he's the boss and gives the orders.

So we just write it off, heh.

Do you have any idea
where those strays wandered off to?

Well, if we did,
we'd be out rounding them up.

I suppose that storm dropped them
about 50 counties west of here.

Well...

Ugh, no. No, no.

Lightning could never
strike twice in the same place.

Still...

Clarence, uh, the next time
you see Mr. Smithers,

would you tell him that I'm still
in the market for stray cows?

Heh, you never can tell,

with him it could happen.

Now, you don't mean to tell me

those little varmints didn't even know
they were stealing.

No, Wish, they just looked at it
like it was

well, finders, keepers,
you know, and so did this Smithers.

Well, a man like that I can understand,
but not a kid.

No, sir, every one of them
is a born rustler

and mighty few of them
ever outgrow it.

Most of the kids I've ever known ought
to be froze stiff, time they could walk,

and thawed out with caution
after 20.

[HOOFBEATS APPROACHING]

All right, Rowdy, take everybody here
and go out and cut out 200 head.

I want them ready to move
at first light.

- All right. Come on, everybody.
- Let's go.

Wishbone.

I got a special job
for you and Mushy.

You come to the right man,
Mr. Favor.

Any time you want anything done right,
you just ask...

Me. Of all the big-mouthed,
gravel-headed nitwits,

why didn't you stop me?

Or better yet,
why didn't I save my money?

That way, I could've
bought back those cows,

and we wouldn't have to be here.

[CHILDREN CHATTERING
AND LAUGHING]

Talk about tornadoes.

Time this one's over, you'll wish that
one last week had carried you off.

Hey, that's my shirt!

Keep your gun handy.

Evening. Could I help you?

Evening, miss.
We'd like to see Mr. Smithers.

Come on in. I'll get him.

Look, there's my hat.

Later, you idiot.

Now, you stay here,
I'm gonna do the talking.

Evening.

[DOOR OPENS]

I'm sorry to keep you gentlemen
waiting. Oh, it's bath time.

My name is George W. Haggerty,

and this is my friend,
H. Mushgrove Watson.

A pleasure.

Uh, my, what a handsome group
of children.

[CHUCKLES]

Tell Uncle George,
what's your name?

You put me down, you billy goat.

Billy goat?

That is a nasty way to treat our guest,
treating him in such a cavalier manner.

Now, you-- Everybody into bed,
get ready for your bath.

Be nimble.

Otherwise I'll have to, uh,

take drastic measures.

I must proffer my apologies,
Mr. Haggerty.

Not at all, Mr. Smithers.

Children will be children, heh,
Lord love them.

As a matter of fact,
that's one reason we came here.

We heard you run an orphanage

and thought maybe
you could use some help.

Well, a man in my position
could use help but...

You see, Mushgrove and I was both
raised in foundling homes.

SMITHERS: Oh, my, really?
- Yeah.

[CHILDREN CHATTERING]
Oh, that's music to my ears, heh.

Don't that take you back?

Oh, it sure does, Mr. Haggerty.

Well, I, uh... I could use the help
but I'm afraid I couldn't afford...

Mr. Smithers, you're looking at
two road-weary, lonesome travelers

just looking for a place like home
we can hang our hats for a spell.

We'd even work for our keep.

Oh, I couldn't ask you gentlemen
to do that, heh.

Mr. Smithers, we're asking you.

Why, Mushgrove and me,
we cook, do laundry,

and well,
we certainly do love children.

Well, my goodness, they're certainly
lively tonight, aren't they?

And it isn't as if
we didn't have experience.

Why, there just isn't anything
we can't do for kids.

- I could use the help.
- Then it's all settled.

Settled it is.
You can bunk in the back and...

Well, here, you might
just as well start on their baths.

And if you don't mind,
I have quite a little sewing to do.

This saves a lot of...

You know,
it's a blessing is what it is, heh.

[WISHBONE GRUNTS]

The man said bath,
and you're gonna get a bath.

You and that bean shooter.
Now, take off those clothes.

- You make me.
- What?

Get away from that door in there!

"And the Black Knight thrust his
faithful sword into the dragon's heart.

Mortally stricken, the fierce giant fell,
roaring his fury

and breathing the flames of inferno
into the heavens.

Then he was dead.

One last mighty bellow
and the terrible dragon was no more.

The Black Knight
put the princess on his horse,

and they drove away into the setting
sun to live happily ever after."

[CHUCKLES]

Yes, sir, I missed my calling.

Sire Wishbone,
the Black Knight of Texas.

Bedtime stories.

I think you read them very well.

It usually takes me
all of the Black Knight

and all of Mother Goose
to get them this quiet.

It must be
that I can bore them quicker.

[SMITHERS CHUCKLES]

Seems to be the best part
of the day.

It's like being in a room
with a host of angels.

Some with dirty faces, I must admit.

You don't mind my asking,
Mr. Smithers,

how'd you get saddled
with all these little, heh, angels?

Saddled?

Well, I guess it did seem like that
in the beginning.

I was a librarian.

For 20 years, I lived behind
two stories of thick Philadelphia stone,

in a world
where my only friends existed

between worn leather bindings
and dusty squares of parchment.

Chaucer, Keats, Tennyson,
all fine men, all loyal to a T,

but hardly the proper association to
prepare me for a career as a rancher.

But my brother died,
and left me this place

complete with little Betsy.

And I had no other choice.

So it was westward ho.

Just when I was beginning to figure
out which end of a plow was which,

Betsy found Johnny and Susy
down by the river.

Their folks were drowned
in the storm.

Seemed to be
no other place for them.

So...

You know, and word got around
and before I knew it,

Pedro and Rob and Danny,

they showed up in the barn
hiding under the hay.

You know, Mr. Haggerty,
at that moment I decided

I was gonna go back
to my stone and parchment world,

no matter how make-believe it was,

but then one day
I heard them talking,

and I knew then that this was
where I belonged.

What do you mean,
you heard them talking?

Oh, well, it was out by the barn.

Johnny asked Danny
if he knew who God was,

and Danny said, "Mr. Smithers."

Well, all the children laughed

and Johnny says,
"How do you know that?"

And Danny says,
"Mr. Smithers always says,

'With God I retire,

and with God I get up,

and as Mr. Smithers
goes to bed with me

and gets up with me,

then Mr. Smithers must be God."

Well, I corrected his innocent
blasphemy, heh,

but if I can give them that,
Mr. Haggerty,

think what they can give to me.

Good night.

Mr. Haggerty, I'm sorry
I called you a billy goat.

I like whiskers.

Here's some more, Mr. Wishbone.

It's after 9:00.

Mr. Favor will have the herd
up there by now.

We ought to get going.

Well, Mr. Smithers, he won't let them
go cow hunting until class is over.

- Why ain't you in class, Mike?
- Got expelled.

I have to study all by myself
in the barn.

- Where did you get that hat?
- Danny found it.

He's letting me wear it.

You think the owner
might want it back?

Tough. He lent to me.

[CHUCKLES]

Do you mind if I try it on?

Yeah, but don't crush it.

- It fits perfect.
- Huh.

Here.

Get to work
and hang up these clothes.

Give me back my hat.

Do you mind if I wear it
while we hang up the clothes?

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
Taking hats away from kids.

- You're mean.
- What--? Why you--

I got your hat back for you, didn't I?

Yeah, but you didn't
have to holler at my friend.

- I'll help you, Mushgrove.
- Thank you.

[BELL RINGING]

SMITHERS: Recess.
CHILDREN: Yay!

Recess.

Come on, Mr. Smithers.
Let's go hunt for cows.

Yeah!

No, no, no, not at this time.

And don't be bothering our friends over
there while they're doing their chores.

Now, look, we still have arithmetic,
but I'll tell you what,

we'll go hiking for lunch
and we'll make a picnic out of it.

- Yeah!
- Play with the bean bag, go ahead.

KID 1:
Yeah, come on.

KID 2:
Come on, here!

Children.

Look there.

A blue bunting.

CHILDREN:
Oh.

The first this year.

Come on, let's go on over the hill.
I'm sure this is cow country.

Oh, we've got all afternoon.
What do you say we picnic first?

Yeah!

Listen, listen. I'm sure I heard
a steer bawl. Come on.

There we go.

- Hey, lookit here.
- Yeah, cows.

I told you I had a nose for cattle.

Jiminy, there's hundreds of them.

WISHBONE:
Stay right here. Don't go out there.

Never in my born days. Never.

Hell you what, let's all make
a guess as to how many there are

and the one who comes the closest
gets an extra piece of cake.

- Ten hundred.
- Two thousand.

Twenty-five hundred.

Mr. Smithers,
maybe you better go on into the bank

and tell that fella
you got another windfall.

Hey, you two get back here.
Those cows can be dangerous.

Now, you pay attention to what
Mr. Haggerty tells you.

You know, it's a lucky thing
Mr. Haggerty came along when he did

because I never would've thought
of looking in this direction.

- Well, let's all have lunch.
- I'm gonna buy a doll.

BOY:
I'm gonna buy a horse. I'm big enough.

Mr. Smithers,
this is no time for a picnic.

Must be 200, maybe more.

If that bank closes, you might
lose this herd over the weekend.

- Yeah, a storm or a stampede maybe.
- More likely rustlers.

Ah, now you're talking.

Maybe you're right.
There doesn't seem to be much time.

Tell you what, we'll have our picnic
on the way into town.

What do you say? All right?
Put it in there and let's go.

All right now, give me that, let's go.
All right.

All right, children, let's go now.

Be careful of the wheels getting off.

All right, now.

Come on. Here we go.

Here we go.

Now, give me your hand, all right,
everybody into the bank now.

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

- Hello, Mr. Randolph.
- You'll never guess what.

- You never saw so many.
- I never saw so many what?

[IN UNISON]
Cows!

We found 200 more.

- Closer to a million.
- They're even fatter than the others.

Uh, they must have straggled
in overnight.

As you said, sir, lightning can strike
more than once in the same place.

Oh, yes, quite. Quite, quite.

Two-- Two hundred, did you say?

Well, approximately, we didn't take
time for an accurate count.

Oh, well, that's perfectly all right.

Your word is good as gold
with me, Mr. Smithers.

Look, why don't you sit down, I mean,
take a deep breath and relax.

I'll be back in a moment.

- Oh, no rush.
- Mr. Randolph.

Clarence, see that Mr. Smithers

makes himself perfectly at home,
will you?

At home.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

Well, uh, why don't we play games,
hmm?

- Yeah!
- All right.

What about hide-and-go-seek?

- In the bank vault.
- Where you keep money.

- Yeah!
- Hey. Hey, wait. Now, wait.

- Down. Down. Get down.
- Put that down.

Well, I'm glad I found you,
Mr. Travis.

- Drink?
- Thank you, no.

I, ahem, just wanted to verify
that you're still in the market.

You see, there's a slight possibility

that I might be able
to get hold of, uh, 200 head.

I'm still in the market.

But you'll have to make whatever
deal you got by this evening,

- because I'm pushing out at dawn.
- Oh, I can do that.

- Uh, the price is still the same?
- Thirty a head.

Two hundred, let's see, that would
bring me, uh, 6000 dollars, right?

Well, if you don't find me here,
I'll be at the hotel.

Oh, that's fine. Fine.

Good, Mr. Randolph.

Then it's a deal, Mr. Smithers.
Three dollars a head.

Did I hear you say
three dollars a head?

You did.
Not that it's any of your business.

Oh, this is Mr. Haggerty,
our new cook.

And the first one to see those cows,
so it makes it my business.

And as an ex-foundling myself,
I'm concerned for these orphans.

So let's start by agreeing
that three dollars a head

won't even buy the flies
off those cow's hides.

Very well.
I'm a charitable man myself.

Name a figure.

Well, at the railhead--

This is not a railhead. I'll go five.

Mister, I'd carry them there
piggyback

before I'd let them go
for money like that.

Fifteen a head is more like it.

Fifteen for each one?

WISHBONE:
Greenback dollars.

Now, I may be just a hash-slinger,

but I know a little bit of something
about cattle.

Three thousand dollars?

What--? That's utterly preposterous.

Mr. Haggerty, that does seem
to go beyond reason.

Let him go.
There's plenty of cattle buyers.

You can usually find them
hanging around saloons after hours.

Now--

Now, Mr. Smithers,

you and I have both dealt fairly
with each other up until now.

Why don't we just agree on
a sensible price? Say, uh, 10.

- Ten?
RANDOLPH: Yes.

But I must close the deal tonight.

Because, uh, if I don't close the deal
I will only lose a deal.

But you and those dear children
will suffer grievously.

Well, uh, Mr. Haggerty, I don't see
how I could spend more than 500.

Three thousand.

Well, I can see we're not
gonna get anywhere this way.

I'll just saddle up and ride into town.

Who knows?
I might even make a better deal.

No. Uh, no.

No need for that.

I've come this far,
I might as well go all the way.

All right,

3000.

Three thousand?

Yes, but don't you come to me
with any more of your stray cows.

Well, I, uh, feel a little badly
about this money too, Calvin.

It, uh,

does seem to be
a little extra providence.

Twenty-nine,

953, 3000.

Ah, and on those papers you can just
put in my name, George Haggerty.

See, I'm the one that found them.

I'll just sign with my customary "X".

Get them moving!

[ALL CHATTERING]

BOY:
Hey, where's my--? Do I get a horse?

Where's my buggy and horse?

Hey! Rustlers.

Mr. Randolph, they're running off
with your cattle.

Well, hurry up. Get your horses.

Well, hold on now. It's your cattle.
They must be your rustlers.

Why, you...

- I'll get the shotgun.
- I'll help you.

BOY 2: I'll get my slingshot.
- No, no.

All of you get back there.

You're not going anywhere.
They might not even be rustlers.

Maybe they're just men,
and figure they found some cows.

Oh, well, that's probably what it is,
of course.

Well, Mr. Randolph can handle it.

How much did we make this time,
Mr. Smithers?

Six hundred?

Well, Mr. Haggerty raised the price
to, uh, $3000.

- Three thousand?
- Golly, that's more than a million.

Uncle George did it.

Children, I hate to throw cold water,

but this is a heap of money for us
to come by with just luck, you know.

What do you mean?

What he means, Johnny,
is that anything so valuable

is not so easily come by.

And those cows over there
are worth a lot more

than any of us has ever imagined.

And it's not likely that such gold
on the hoof so to speak

would be left around for us
to grab in a selfish world.

What he means is, we think
those cows belonged to somebody

and they lost them,

and, well, it just isn't right for us
to get rich at their expense.

Mr. Smithers, I think I can round up
the fellows that belong to this money.

Children?

We think he should.

All right, I'll go get my horses.

Mushy, you go on in there
and get our things.

I don't understand you,
Mr. Randolph.

- They're wearing my brand.
- Well, what different does that make?

He said that you were moving out,
abandoning them.

Oh, well, what my poor simple ramrod
thinks I'm going to do,

and what I finally decide to do
are two entirely different things.

Mr. Favor's men
spotted them over here.

I volunteered to help drive them back.

Yes, well, I'm afraid you found them
a little too late

because it so happens
that I just purchased them legally

from a man who certified
that he was the legal owner.

[GRUNTS]

Don't see how that could be.
I've seen Mr. Favor's papers.

- Who's "X"?
- What? George Haggerty.

I wrote it there in the first sentence,

"I, George Haggerty, do hereby
warrant--"

I see. You wrote that thing yourself.

Well, I...

But he couldn't read or write.

This is about as binding as
a rotten rubber band, Mr. Randolph.

- I think you just better forget it.
- You better come with me, sheriff.

I'm beginning to think
I'm going to need you.

Mushgrove.

Mushgrove.

Mushgrove.

Oh, hello, Mike,
have you seen Mushgrove?

- I was just going to look for him.
- Well, so am I.

- Come on, let's go find him.
- Uncle George?

What?

Are you and Mushgrove
coming back?

Oh, well, I--

Well, yeah. Next time we're around
these parts we'll sure come back.

- I'd like that.
- So would I.

I was just gonna give
Mushgrove this hat.

I traded Danny my lizard for it.

And besides, it fits Mushgrove
better than me.

It sure does.
You know, that's mighty nice of you.

Come on, let's go find him
and give it to him.

Well, I guess we're all ready.
Bye, Mr. Smithers.

- All of you.
CHILDREN: Bye.

Mr. Haggerty, I was knitting this
for Mr. Smithers

but he's got three of them
and I decided to let you have it.

Isn't that nice?

Why, it's a scarf.

Just what I've always needed
and a red one too.

I hope you find out who the money
belongs to, Mr. Haggerty.

Well, I will, Robbie.

Well, I already found one thing,

I found out the world
isn't full of little rustlers.

- Goodbye, Uncle George.
- Bye.

Now, all of you stand back there.

- Out of the way.
- Get away from the horse. That's it.

Smithers, I want to see
George Haggerty.

Well, you just missed him.
My goodness,

you look very pale, Mr. Randolph,
come on in and sit down.

What do you mean,
I just missed him?

Well, I think he, uh, went to look for
the rightful owner of the money.

Did you hear that?
He's making a getaway. Go after him!

Slow down.
Now what'd he look like?

Well, don't sit there
asking stupid questions.

He was bald-headed and runty
and he had whiskers.

- Now, go find him.
- Whiskers, huh? Runty?

Oh, that sounds like
"Stumpy George" Hoggarth.

Yup, he goes by Haggerty,
Hoggarth, Hogan.

He has to stick to "H's"
because he's got his initials tattooed.

I am not interested in the details.
Go find him!

Um, I'll have to round up a posse.
Stumpy George is a lot of man.

Go after him. Go after him!

[WHIMPERS]
Posse. He'll never find him.

Do you realize that you cost me
$3000?

Well, that makes it
just about even, doesn't it?

Isn't that what you made
on that other transaction?

I made 2700. I had to give him 300.

And if you want to know
what I think, Smithers,

I think those have all been
the same cattle.

And if he doesn't find Hoggarth,
or Haggerty or whatever his name is,

you are going to owe me
$300.

Well, uh, I'll pay
whatever I'm obliged to, Mr. Randolph.

Uh-uh, oh, Mr. Smithers
didn't make the second deal with you.

He made the first

and that one you sewed up
nice and tight and legal.

So if anybody's got a claim against
Mr. Smithers, it's me.

And by me, I just want to thank you
for gathering up my cattle.

ROWDY: I think you
got off real cheap, Mr. Randolph.

I mean, some folks would have to pay
a thousand dollars or more

for that kind of education.

True. True.

Gee, they were the nicest men.

Oh, I can't believe that about
Mr. Haggerty and Mushgrove.

What do you mean,
you can't believe--? You--

After what they did-- And you--

Oh, what's the use?

Come on, Mr. Smithers,
let's play a game.

- Yeah.
- All right.

- Who can get the bean bag?
- Twill.

You. All right, let's go.

Head them up.

Move them out.