All language subtitles for Bobs Burgers s16e01 Grand Pre-Pre-Pre-Opening.eng

? ?

[Linda] He's at the board.

He's holding the little six
up over the five,

checking out
that cool new price.

Now, all he's got to do
is switch 'em out.

And... switch 'em out.

-Switch 'em out.
-I don't know

if the play-by-play is helping.

-No, it is.
-Mm.

Come on, Bob.

I thought you
were finally okay with this.

You said yes last night.

Well, I was drinking wine then.

I was wine brave.

I also said
we should start stretching,

but I didn't mean it.

Bob, raising our prices
once a decade

is not a big deal.

Also, it's how
we're gonna do stuff

like pay our bills
and stay in business.

It's just,
it is a big deal, Lin.

And I'm very nervous about it.

You guys talking sex stuff?
You should be nervous.

It could change the dynamic
of your relationship forever.

Your dad is moments away from
raising the price of a burger.

-Mm...
-Or he isn't. [sighs]

What you got there, Gene-
some sort of doohickey?

It's Peter Pescadero's older
brother's MiniDisc four track.

You can hit a button and
it makes an mp3 of your song.

We have to return it
to Peter tomorrow

'cause that's
when his brother gets back

from his hacky sack retreat.

So we have one day
to come up with

a Grammy-award-winning album.

Hey, who knows,
it might win a Grampy award too.

All right.
The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee

at the top of the charts.

Actually, this is a new project.

This band is known as

Bus Boy and the Cuss Girls.

It's a little more edgy,

little more autobiographical.

These would be less
"itty bitty ditties"

and more "big ol' ditties."

-[Bob] Mm.
-It's gonna be all about

how two generations of a family

were destroyed
by a burger restaurant.

-Oh.
-Oh. -But, hey,

you guys'll be mentioned
in the lyrics,

so that's pretty cool for you.

-All right.
-Okay.

Anyway, we'll be
in the basement if you need us.

But also, please don't bother us

'cause we'll be making history.

Oh, and we need to borrow
some metal mixing bowls.

-Why?
-Instruments.

-The sound of despair.
-Got it.

[Gene]
And try to keep it quiet up here.

Thank you.

? ?

? Gather round,
we're gonna tell you a story ?

-? Ooh... ?
-? About a lady ?

? And a burger boy ?

? For some crazy reason ?

? Don't know why ?

? Wanted to open up
a restaurant ?

? That ruined all our lives ?

? I guess they wanted ?

-? That life ?
-? Oh, yeah ?

[muffled] ? They opened up
the restaurant ?

? That ruined all our lives... ?

Bob, don't listen to them.

You are a little paralyzed

by indecision right now,

and it's... cute,
but we have made it

this far.
So, was that a good pep talk?

Mm. Mm-hmm.

[Tina]
? What was the plan? ?

? Why would any rational ?

-[humming a tune]
-? Person want ?

-? To open a restaurant? ?
-Wow.

Hi.

Sorry. So tired.

I don't want to be a line cook

anymore. I can't make
any more surf and turf.

I don't want to make food

for people ever again.

That's too bad,
because I found it.

Found what?

Where your restaurant's
gonna be.

-What?
-I was driving home from work,

and you know how you can see

that amusement park
from the highway?

Yeah?

Well, I got off at that exit

and I went and I rode
the Ferris wheel.

You did? Why?

'Cause I hate that office, Bob.

I smile at everyone
and no one smiles back,

and they just want
to talk about insurance.

I mean,
it's an insurance company.

Listen. I rode the Ferris wheel

and then
I walked around a little bit,

and that's when I saw it.

Wait, wasn't that amusement
park just in a lawsuit?

I-I don't know if someone died
on the Ferris wheel

or if their foot
got chopped off-

Bob, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Let's go

look at the space
tomorrow, okay?

-Okay.
-Great. All right, you can

go to sleep now.
There you go.

Thank you.

Well, it's next to

-a funeral home.
-Yeah.

But only on one side.

We-we won't look over there.

"Who Framed Roger's Rabbit
Pet Photography."

That place
probably does well, right?

Oh, crap.

-You hate it?
-No, I love it.

I knew it. I'm smart.

Mm. My stomach's feeling weird.

That's how you know it's right.

My stomach
feels weird, too, but maybe

that's just 'cause I'm not
cut out to be a trial lawyer.

And that guy got himself
a perfectly good fake foot.

-Oh.
-Sorry, I don't know

why I even brought it up.

Let's talk about
your "restaurant."

I'm not sure why
it's in quotations.

Hard to qualify
for a commercial lease.

You have credit references?
Collateral?

-Um...
-Could be a problem, that you said "um."

-Mm.
-And what country have you

recently emigrated from?

-Uh, here?
-Oh. With that accent?

-Accent?
-Pronounce your name again?

-Bob?
-Oh, yeah.

I'm hearing an accent now.

Bob...

does it have to be a restaurant?

-Uh-
-I'm just saying

because of how often they fail.

-They fail a lot.
-[Linda laughs nervously]

And there are

several parties
interested in that property.

-Oh.
-Oh.

But my father briefly sported

a mustache like yours.

And it had a similar smell.

You can smell my mustache?

I seem to be
downwind of it, yes.

So, if you can
line up your financing,

then you can have the space.

-Oh.
-[laughs]

Now, if you'll excuse me,

-I've got to go fire a carnie.
-Oh.

-From a cannon.
-Oh. -Oh.

It's Friday, after all.

-Yeah, makes sense.
-Sure.

[woman]
So, Mr. Belcher,

after reviewing
your credit score,

we have determined
that you do not qualify

for the local business
incentive loan.

-Oh.
-Damn it.

Sorry. Sorry.
Uh, who are you again?

This is Mr. Dowling.
He's shadowing me today.

Well, uh,
will you give us a loan?

That's not how banks work.

I was just seeing
if he was nicer.

I definitely wouldn't
give you a loan. Denied.

-Oh, he's meaner.
-Mr. Dowling,

I get to say "denied."
Denied.

-Yup.
-Well, I'm still takin'

-a butterscotch.
-You may have one.

-Mr. Dowling.
-Sorry.

You may have one each.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

[Bob]
Well, that's it.

That was our last chance.

Well, that butterscotch
tasted terrible.

It did? Mine was good.

-No, it wasn't.
-All right.

Hey, you know,
we could get that loan

if we use my money
as a down payment.

Your condo money?
No, no, no, no, no.

You've been working and
saving since you were 15.

You were gonna put it
into owning a condo,

which is a great idea.
I-I hope you let me live there.

I mean, we are married,
so you're high on the list.

Your parents would kill me.
I mean, I can probably fight Al,

but I can't fight Gloria.

And if they both
come at me at the same time,

from different sides, I-
There's no way I could-

Bob, it's my condo money.

And I "con-doh"
anything I want with it.

What if I'm your investor,

your own private
Warren "Buff-ay"?

-Buffet.
-Ha! Right. Imagine.

Linda, we've talked about this.

We can't use your money
to open the restaurant.

I-I couldn't handle it
if it didn't work out.

It'd be like
asking you to put up

one of your kidneys
as collateral,

-or-or your spleen.
-Bob.

You have to keep your
spleen, Linda.

-It's your spleen.
-Okay, okay, okay.

I don't know what a spleen does,
but they're good!

Easy. Easy.

? There was once a man
who dreamed a dream ?

? A dream of burgers ?

? Of beef, tomatoes, lettuce ?

? And some buns ?

? But sometimes
dreaming burger dreams ?

? And dreams of burgers ?

? Can make a burger dreamer
come undone ?

? Not talking well-done ?

? Not talking medium well-done ?

? We're saying burger dreams ?

? Can make you ?

? Come undone. ?

Bob.

Linda. Is everything okay?

I know you don't want
to use my money

to start your own place
'cause you're worried

that you'll fail and you'll
take me down with you.

But you don't get to tell me
what I do with my money, buddy.

My parents don't get to either.

You know what my dream is?

I want to help build something,

something that
makes people happy,

something that makes the world
better in some little way.

You really want to be careful
about where you put your money.

Safest place
is probably real estate.

Buy a condo, or a-

Bup, bup, bup, bup. You're
gonna make great food, Bob.

You're gonna make people happy,

and I want in.
So if you don't let us

use this money to do that,
I'm gonna... kick your ass.

She'll do it.
She's got the crazy eyes.

-Okay.
-Yeah?

Yeah. You know, I'd rather

fight your mom than fight you.

Oh, Bob!

-Ooh. So wet.
-Also,

um, remember how
I thought that butterscotch

-was weird? From the bank?
-Yeah?

Well, I had another
butterscotch today,

and that one tasted weird, too.

Okay, a lot of
butterscotch talk.

Listen, I told my friend Ginger
about the butterscotch,

and she said
maybe I should take a pee test.

-For drugs?
-Obviously. The eyes.

No, a pregnancy test.

Stuff tasting weird is a thing.

And I did. Do the test.

And I am. Pregnant.

-What?!
-Right?!

That-that's great.
Wait. Then we definitely

-shouldn't start the rest-
-Shh, shh, shh, shh, shush.

-Yeah, you
definitely shouldn't- -Shh, shh, shh, shh, shush.

This baby
is part of my dream, too.

-It's just nice to be touched.
-Oh.

I mean, I'm very happy
for you two.

? ?

[Louise vocalizing]

[Louise and Gene vocalizing]

[Belcher kids vocalizing]

[Teddy crying]

Um, how you-how you doing,

uh, Terry...

-Teddy.
-Teddy... is your name,

is what I was gonna say.

Uh, do you need some water
or something?

I'm fine. I'm not really
a water person.

Denise- she loved water.

Denise!

-[sobbing]
-Okay, I got a chalkboard

for the burger of the day,
and look what else

I found. Flying burgers.

Little burger angels.

Great, maybe
hang it in the back.

Oh, that's where
you want to put it?

-[Teddy cries]
-Is he crying again?

Yeah.

Maybe we shouldn't
have hired someone

who's going through
a terrible divorce?

He was so cheap. Plus,
how were we supposed to know?

Well, I mean, when we met him,

he said, "Hi, I'm going through
a terrible divorce."

-Yeah.
-[Mort] Hello.

Oh, hi, neighbor.
Mortician neighbor Mort.

Think of a name
for this place yet?

-Not yet.
-Oh.

Well, if my clients are hungry,
I'll just say,

"Go next door
to the place with the food."

And if you have any
potential business for me...

Any dead people?

-Yeah, just send 'em my way.
-[crying]

[whispers]
Is he still crying?

-Uh-huh.
-Yeah.

Should he be closing his eyes

-like that while he hammers?
-Ow!

[regular volume]
Okay. Well, embalming calls.

I've got people to pickle.

-Oh, God.
-Bye.

Bob, we do need a name.
We need a sign,

we need to print menus.

I know, I know.

I had some more, uh,
really good ones.

Um, "Without Burger Ado?"

-Eh...
-"Cow Chow?"

-Nah.
-"Blessed Are the Meat?"

-[gasps]
-Wait, you like that one?

-"Bob's Burgers."
-Oh. No, no.

We should
call it "Bob's Burgers."

No. No, no, no.

I couldn't do
this without you, Lin.

The name shouldn't be just me.

People are gonna know you
couldn't do this without me.

It's gonna be obvious.
I mean, look at you.

Yeah.
[sniffles] you're a mess.

-[Bob] Mm.
-Okay, "Bob's Burgers" it is.

[sighs]
I don't feel s-so good.

So, what kind of food
are you gonna make?

-What?
-Burgers?

Ha! No way. What are the odds?

We have to hire someone.

You're gonna be
too pregnant to work.

We can't afford to hire anyone.

I can work for a few weeks
until the baby comes.

I'm cheap. And easy.

Plus, you need me out there.

Unlike the cook,
I'm good with people.

I-I'm good with people.

-Nah.
-I mean,

people just don't seem
to get how good I am with them,

and then I get
mad at them for that

-because that's wrong.
-It's okay.

They're being wrong.

Stick to the food, kid.
Oh, baby's kicking.

-Feel it.
-Oh, yeah.

Talk to her, go ahead.

Uh, okay.

Uh, hey, baby.

It's Bob.
But, um, you can call me Dad.

I'm so excited to meet you.

And to open the restaurant.

So glad we're doing both
at the same time.

It's crazy. Are-are we crazy?

-I mean, are we?
-Okay, that's good.

Sorry. Do you think
she could tell?

Tell what?

That I don't know
if I can do it.

-Do what?
-Any of it.

Oh, hush. Babies are dumb.

? Have you ever smelled ?

? A man who stands near
a greasy grill all day long? ?

-Oh, it looks great.
-? He smells like grease and fear ?

-[Bob] Oh, I feel nauseous.
-? Grease and fear ?

? Grease and fear ?

? Have you ever met a woman ?

? Who sleeps near a man ?

? Who smells like
grease and fear? ?

? She smiles a lot ?

-[murmuring]
-? Just to pretend ?

? She doesn't mind the smell ?

? But you know
that she minds the smell ?

-[Tina & Gene] ? Oh, she does ?
-[Louise] ? How can you ?

? Not mind the smell ?

? Of grease and fear? ?

[gags]

[retches, coughs]

[grunts] Oh.

Oh, my God.

[toilet handle rattles]

And Teddy didn't fix the toilet.

Hi. Welcome. Come on in. Sorry,

I ate all the burgers.
That's why I look like this.

[laughs]
Just kidding, I'm pregnant.

Calm down!

Bob, what's wrong?

-I threw up.
-You threw up?

In the employee bathroom.

-Oh.
-I almost didn't make it,

but then I did.

Well, uh, do you feel better?

'Cause you look... better.

I think I'm gonna
throw up again.

What? Why?
Why do you keep throwing up?

-Are you pregnant?
-I don't know. Maybe?

Bob, you got to
pull it together.

Customers get very judgy
when they hear the chef

-barfing in the kitchen.
-Well, that doesn't seem fair.

I'm gonna go take orders.

I love you. We're doing this.

No more puking.

-[entry bells jingle]
-Happy grand opening.

Whoa! Mort. Hi.

You look... like that.

I know.

Um, sit anywhere.

Okay, I got
three burgers of the day

for table one,
and a cheeseburger

and a burger
of the day for table two.

-Okay?
-Okay.

What's happening?
Why are you walking like that?

This is how I walk now,
to keep stuff inside in my body.

-And I got 'em.
-Oh, my God.

Bob, just go outside

and get some fresh air.
I'll make some more fries.

Maybe if I say the fries
are free, people will think

everything's great
and no one's throwing up.

Uh-huh. Yup.

Bob, you're still holding the-
Never mind, you're fine.

[whimpering]

Doing good. Good job.

[whimpering]

-Hey, Linda.
-Teddy, you came.

Yeah, you know, I just wanted
to see the booths in action,

see how the counter's
holding up.

I'm not saying I was concerned

the counter
wasn't gonna hold up.

I'm not suggesting that at all.

-Okay.
-Holy crap,

is that the mortician?

-Yep.
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We-we don't do that anymore.

Bald guys just wear hats now.

You don't need to feed this

and put it in a cage
at night like that thing.

Whoa, you baldies
are a bunch of mean girls.

Oh.
Get it together.

[high-pitched voice]
Yeah, seriously.

This is your grand opening, man.

[regular voice] I know, I know.

[high-pitched voice]
If you don't go back

in there, you're
letting everybody down.

[regular voice]
It's just, I'm just so nervous.

[high-pitched voice]
Oh, really? I hadn't noticed.

Hey, You're blowing it, pal!
You're blowing it!

Sorry, sorry.
I get a little raw sometimes.

[laughs]

[regular voice]
All right, I'm gonna go back in.

[high-pitched voice]
"Raw," like "raw patty?"

[regular voice] No, I get it,
Burger. I'm gonna go in now.

[high-pitched voice]
Okay, I just feel like

you'd be laughing more
if you got it.

[regular voice]
I-I did. Uh, you're very funny.

[high-pitched voice]
Don't patronize me!

There he is. How you doing?

-[regular voice] Better.
-Okay, great, now cook. Fast.

But also, really good.
Teddy the crying handyman came.

And Mort the mortician
is here, too,

and he's wearing a toupee.
Not a need-to-know,

but I just didn't want you
to see it and get scared.

Thank you.

-It's never gonna work.
-I think it's gonna work.

-Not a chance.
-I'm feeling good about it.

Wait a second.
You know what? It's backwards.

-Oof.
-Huh?

Ah, jeez.
Just flopping stuff around

like you're Mr. Potato Head?

[Bob]
Order up.

Linda, order up.

See? There's these two.

And now I'll make more.

Yay, Bob. But take it easy
on the bell, huh?

Also, you got to
pick up the pace, here.

We're full.

W-w-we are?

-Oh, God.
-Yeah.

-They're all gonna
eat your food. -Oh, boy.

-This is what we want.
-Oh, no.

-You sound great, got to go.
-[Bob whimpers]

Okay. Oh, it's coming back up.

Oh, and... and here it comes.

[retches]

[moans]

Didn't make it that time.

Okay, washing vomit
off my apron.

And we are done

throwing up. Wait, maybe not.

[retches]

And what can I get- Yow!

Oh, wow. Okay.

That was a lot of liquid.
In my pants.

Sorry.
I think my water just broke.

Oof. You folks good on water?

Just kidding. Will you
excuse me for a moment?

[straining]

-Bob!
-[Bob] It happened again.

On my apron and then
on my shirt and pants.

I'm just giving it
a quick rinse.

Everything's fine.

We're gonna have
to wash my pants, too,

-'cause my water just broke.
-What?

I'm having my own grand opening,

-and it's a little early.
-What?!

And contractions are happening.
Very much.

Oh, my God!

Hi, everyone.

Um, unfortunately,
we need to leave the restaurant

and, um, go to the hospital

because my wife
is currently having a baby.

[strained]
It's true, I'm having a baby.

Everyone's meal is on us.

I mean, the two burgers
that we made.

-The fries are free.
-Uh-huh.

Teddy, uh, would you mind
locking up?

-Okay?
-The keys to the restaurant

are in my pants,
which are in the sink...

'cause that's where I keep them.

-Okay, thank you...
-Thank you.

everybody, for coming. Sorry.

Thank you. So sorry.

-Thank you.
-She's having baby

-and I had to
take my clothes off. -Thanks.

-Thanks a lot.
-So sorry.

And that's how you
produce an album, people.

Yup, we totally made sounds

with instruments and our mouths.

Uh-huh.
And hearing it all together,

it's definitely sort of music?

Was that music?

Oh God, I'm forgetting
what music sounds like.

You kids done with
the album already?

Yes! Why are you
asking it like that?

Everything went perfectly
and we're super confident.

Okay, sorry.

Anyway, how's it going up here?

Prices still the amount
where we're poor?

Yes, for the moment.
He said, "I'm gonna chop onions

-till all this goes away."
-Smart.

Well, we're gonna go upstairs
and upload this puppy

to every possible corner
of the Internet

and wait for the record label
people to come calling.

Definitely do not
tie up the phone lines,

and make sure there's paper
in the fax machine.

Um, guys, are we sure
the album's ready?

I mean, it's done.
Doesn't that make it ready?

It's just, what if
we're the only ones

that think it's good?

-What if no one else likes it?
-Not possible.

What if the world
listens to our edgy

autobiographical
food-industry-related

musical expression and says
"We hate it, this stinks"?

They all have a meeting
and decide that?

-Yes!
-Aah!

Guys. Guys! [shouts]

-Okay.
-Good point.

Now come on, let's go upload it.

Don't take too long.

Do you think
The Rolling Stones' mom

said that to them when they were
uploading Steel Wheels?

No, she did not.

[Linda]
I love epidurals.

I'm gonna get pregnant again
just for these.

You should get one, Bob.

I don't think they'll let me.

Doesn't hurt to ask.

They gave you that gown.
Are you okay?

What if it keeps happening?

What if I'm never not
always throwing up?

If it all fails,
it's everything.

All your money.
Your life. Her life.

Aw, Bobby. I really wish
I could get you an epidural.

Don't worry. People'll
pay more for your food.

Will they? We don't know that.

We do. I do.
'Cause I'm wise.

Like a wise, gorgeous owl.

Could be wrong.

-Ready?
-Ready. -Ready.

Do they love it yet?

It's still uploading.

It's at one percent.

Remember when Tina was born?

Remember what you said?

[Belcher kids vocalizing]

I didn't know
you get pudding after.

Lin, that was incredible.

I'm so glad
I never have to do that.

Oh, yeah.
I've heard you in the bathroom.

Sometimes, you barely
get through that.

Yeah. But hey, am I weirdly
good at holding babies?

I feel like I am, right?

Wait. She's not
upside down, is she?

-What?
-No, no, that's a head.

So, when should we
open up again?

Oh. Uh...

We should do another
grand opening, right?

With less fluids flying around.

Hmm. Could try it that way.

Are you gonna be up for it?

Yeah. I-I feel... good.

I thought I'd be more scared
when she got here,

but actually,
I feel less, somehow.

I don't have to
be in my head anymore.

I just have to be

what she needs, and she
needs me to be not scared,

so I won't be.

Oh, yeah.

-I said a smart thing.
-You did.

I mean, I'll still be scared.
But not, like scared-scared.

In the big scheme of things,
I'll be normal scared.

Sometimes. I'll-I'll
feel it out. You get it.

-I did it.
-Yes, you did.

-It'll be okay.
-Better than okay.

-[door opens]
-[entry bells jingle]

Good news, our album demo

is 14% uploaded.

-Yay, it's a hit!
-Whoa-ho-ho!

Look at mister businessman,
raising his prices.

-Right?
-Uh-huh.

[Gene]
I'm still not seeing shrimp tempura up there.

Anyone else
concerned about that?

-Mm, no.
-Can we add takoyaki?

Y-You two sure about this?

-Yes. Why?
-Tina, shush.

I'm just saying,
it's a big change.

Maybe we should all
process it more.

-Tina, you're grounded.
-Sorry.

Not really. But shush.

Order up.

Hi, Tina.

Oh, my God. Is that blood?

What? No, that's ketchup.

-Here you go, Teddy.
-Thank you.

Had to have one more
burger in here, you know?

Probably won't see me
much more after this, though.

No offense.
I'm more of a burrito guy.

Hey, is that Mort?

Holy crap. It worked.

By the grace of God,

he made it work.

You need change, hon?

Keep it. Best burger of my life.

I feel like a different person.

Thank you.

Huh.

Oh, we should open up.

[sighs]
Another day in this dive.

I guess at least
we'll have stories

to tell our kids about
how miserable we were before

-we clawed our way out of here.
-Yeah.

-[Bob] Yup.
-Aw.

? Have you ever ?

? Smelled a man who stands ?

? Near a greasy grill
all day long? ?

? He smells like
grease and fear ?

? Grease and fear,
grease and fear ?

? Have you ever met a woman ?

? Who sleeps near a man ?

? Who smells like
grease and fear? ?

? She smiles a lot
just to pretend ?

? She doesn't mind the smell ?

? But you know
there's another smell ?

? And that's the smell ?

? Of Bob and Linda's dreams ?

? And Bob's BO. ?

Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT and TOYOTA.

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