All language subtitles for And.Just.Like.That.S03E04.Apples.to.Apples.MAX.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb.en[cc]

[♪ upbeat acoustic guitar
music playing]

[chickens clucking,
rooster crowing]

[Aidan] Up and down.
Brush up and down, Homer.

You're looking
for consistency.

[Homer] Oh. Oh, is that
what I'm looking for, Dad?

Hey, Wyatt, we're looking
for consistency,

in case you were wondering.

[Aidan]
That is some slick,

slick quality brushwork there, buddy.

[Homer] Now, I'm painting.
This is how you paint.

[Aidan] [shushing]
Come on, boys.
You're gonna wake Carrie.

[Homer]
You're the one who's talking.

Hey, uh, Dad,
is that better?

The-- the coat isn't
really thick enough.

[Aidan] Oh, yeah.
At this rate, you two clowns

are gonna be up there
until Christmas, probably.

- [Homer] [chuckles] Okay.
- [Aidan] Yeah.

Uh, Wyatt, careful.

- Hi.
- [Aidan] You're too close
to the edge.

[Wyatt] I just saw her.
She's awake.

[Aidan]
Come back here!

[♪ upbeat music playing]

[chickens clucking]

[Aidan]
Guys, I just figured out
the family business.

- [Homer] What's
the family business?
- [Aidan] This.

- We're gonna do
this for a living.
- [Homer] Oh.

- [Aidan] Okay?
- [Homer] You know
there's better things

- we can do than that.
- [Aidan] Huh?

- Shaw and Sons Painting?
- [rooster crowing]

Yo, Carrie!

- Hey!
- My Dad said you were here.

- Yes.
- [Aidan] Homer,
watch your step there.

[Carrie] Yes, I am.

Oh, fair warning, my deodorant's
in a rental car somewhere

and I've-- I've been wearing
this outfit since yesterday.

- She looked good then, too.
- I don't care.

Aw!

- Hi!
- Hi.

Hey, Wyatt, say hi to Carrie.

- [Carrie] Hi, Wyatt.
- Hi.

Uh, breakfast.
Let's go inside
and get some breakfast.

Oh, in-- inside?
[chuckles] Oh, no, no.

No, I'm gonna need a--
a breeze, uh,

to be acceptable.

You don't have
a trough out here

where you can just
throw some slop
and a non-fat latte?

I can give you some
of my stuff to wear.

Aw, thanks.
Alright, I'll follow you.

Grab her one of
my Speed Sticks.

What, that bad?

[Aidan]
Couldn't hurt.

[chicken squawks]

[♪ curious music playing]

- [Shoe purrs]
- [Miranda screams]

[sighs]

Oh, my God.
[laughing]

You are so damn cute!

[kiss smacking]

[Herbert]
Man, oh, man.

You sure had a lot
to say last night.

Was I talking
in my sleep again?

I'm so sorry, honey.
What was I saying?

It didn't make much sense,
but the general subtext was

"keep my husband awake."

I'm so anxious about
picking a new editor.

[scoffs] I'm three weeks behind
because I can't make a decision.

Well, I'm three nights behind

because you can't
make a decision.

I'm choosing today, I am.

[Harry]
Morning. I'm on Resy.

My father wants to eat
early tonight.

How's 5:00 for dinner?

5:00 for dinner is lunch.

Well, he's old.

Like this banana,
but with less bruising.

Wait, wait.
Don't throw that out.

The lady in 10-F is asking
if anyone has a spare banana.

Well, this man in 9-N
is asking if she forgot

how to get to Gristedes
around the corner.

Rude, Dad.
This is about supporting

our building community.

It's Building Link,
it's not a personal shopper.

[groaning] It's always
somethin' with that lady.

[mimicking old woman]
"Does anyone have
a spare saltine?"

What do you plan
to do with that?

I could maybe
make banana bread.

- I look forward to that event.
- Oh, uh, Rock.

Take a look at
Pop-Pop's iPad, will ya?

He's got
a million windows open.

He says he can't
download anything.

I invited Diego
to family dinner
on Tuesday night.

I want you all to meet him
while Pop-Pop's visiting.

You want us all to meet Diego?
Oh, okay.

[inhales sharply]
We will meet Diego.

Okay, I gotta go wake
my father for breakfast.

- We're gonna have dinner soon.
- Oh, he's already up.

Said he was going
to the corner to get a paper.

There hasn't been
a newsstand on that
corner since the mid-'90s.

So, what, he's just
roaming around out there,

lost in New Jack City?!

Honey, it's Park Avenue.

He's old now.
He gets disoriented.

Apartment 8-C says
"There's an older gentleman

wandering around the halls
with a newspaper."

Community works.

How do you make
banana bread, anyway?

Chef,
where's my third flapjack?

[Homer laughing]

So, uh, how long are you
staying with us, Carrie?

Uh, we didn't get a chance
to discuss it,

but Tate's coming up from UVA,
and I was kinda hopin'

you'd stay around for his
little birthday celebration

- next Wednesday.
- [Carrie] Oh!

Sure.
Oh. Yeah. [chuckles]

Yeah?
Great, the big 2-1.

My three little baby chimps
growin' up so fast!

- Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup!
- [laughing] Baby chimps, okay.

Okay, Dad, we get it.
[laughing]

[Aidan laughing]

- Well...
- [Aidan sighs]

I'm gonna need some clothes.
Is there a Target around here?

Oh, I bet you never thought
you'd hear yourself say that.

My favorite bathing suit's
from Target.

Oh.
Hour away, I'll take ya.

So, we don't have
to paint today?

Uh, you can paint
while I'm gone.

It's cool.
I don't need to paint.

Wait, isn't there
some sort of, you know,

cute local place
that I can walk to?

You know, like in
a Reese Witherspoon movie?

Oh, there's that one place,
um... uh, Daisy's Dress Shop.

It's like a mile away.
I can take you if you want.

Well, if he's not
painting, I'm not.

Who's in charge here, buddy?

Well, thanks, but I can walk.

A mile is like, what,
from Gramercy Park

to-- down to
the Lower East Side.

Yeah, but you can't walk
'cause it rained last night,

so the road
will be all muddy.

- What if she takes the ATV?
- What's an ATV?

- [ATV rumbling loudly]
- [Aidan] Yeah!

- [ATV turning off]
- Look at you, you got it.

Alright, I'm ready to shop.

Do I need a license
for one of these?

Nope. But you got a license.
A license to thrill.

- [chuckles]
- You're as hot as
a gas station calendar girl.

- Which month?
- All of 'em!

- [Carrie chuckles]
- Alright, look,

you just go
down this road about...

- Hm?
- I don't know, a mile.

- Okay.
- Just don't go too fast.

- Okay.
- Nice and slow.

My goal is to go
slower than anyone

has ever gone
on one of these.

I'd take you myself,
but as soon as I leave,

Wyatt'll be on the couch,
back on the Switch.

House doesn't even
need painting,

but if he's busy
workin' outside,
he's out of his head.

- Can you kiss me?
- Oh, I sure can.

- Don't run me over.
- [chuckles]

[kiss smacking]

- [chickens clucking]
- Alright.

- [engine starting]
- Yeah.

Yeah.

See ya. Bye.

- Yeah, you got it!
- Yeah, there you go!

- [laughing] Yeah!
- Whoo!

Come on, Carrie.
You're a natural.

Have a good time!

[Aidan] Slow down,
you're breakin'
the sound barrier!

[engine rumbling]

[office phones ringing]

[Eesha]
You've got Marion Odin
waiting out there.

- I know.
- What an amazing editor.

Coming in next.
I'm really impressed

by her credits.

His credits.
Marion's a man.

No!

There's no photo on IMDB.

Let's move this along.
I don't want this conversation

read back to me in court.

I don't know
if I'm allowed to say this.

- You're probably not.
- But don't you think,

given the subject matter,
there's a certain sensibility

that might not be
present in a man?

Even one with
a woman's name?

Yeah, definitely not
allowed to say that.

I'll send Marion in.

Marion Odin.

[♪ intriguing music playing]

Hi. Marion Odin.

Uh, so first, um,
do I call you Lisa?

Lisa Todd?
Lisa Todd-Wexley? LTW?

- It's just Lisa. Hi.
- Okay. Nice to meet you.

Well, Lisa... [clearing throat]
first, let me say

that I caught your movie
when it played Tribeca.

- You did?
- Loved it.

- Oh.
- You know,
I was quite moved

by the three women's journeys.

And I can only imagine
the challenge

of pulling it all apart again
to find a new rhythm

for an entirely new
10-part series.

Especially without Grace.

You know Grace?
Like, my Grace?

Ah, we were in
the same softball team
for a moment, yeah.

Of course, we editors
did kick the directors' asses.

- I'm sure you did.
- Uh-huh, yeah.

[chuckles]
But only on the diamond.

Never in the edit.

This is your baby.

Your resume is so...
impressive.

And you seem perfect.

- But...
- But...

- Not a woman.
- Oh!

- Because I'm not.
- No, no!

No, I mean, it's-- it's fine.
[chuckles]

No, no, it's-- it's--
it's not that kind of "but."

I'm a woman on paper
and a man in person.

[whispering]
Doesn't even matter.

Just, I need another
night to think...

and I'll make my, um,
decision... tomorrow.

You're staying till Thursday?
Interesting.

So, welcomed with open arms?

Yeah, pretty much.

Um, Homer's adorable.
You know, delightful.

And Wyatt seems to be
acting normally.

Though, you know,
what do I know?

Teenage boys are your turf.

Define "acting normally."

You know, antisocial,
just wants to be on his phone.

[laughing]
Totally normal.

So, what are you
doing down there?

Well, um, this morning
I took an ATV to a, um...

[♪ country music
playing softly in store]

[softly]
...sister-wives dress shop.

- Impressed?
- [Miranda] Completely.

And now, it's your turn
to be impressed with me.

I'm going back on the BBC

and I was personally
requested by Joy.

You know what that means?

You may have some joy
in your life?

That is so sweet.

Well, I really have no choice.
I'm surrounded by ruffles.

- [people chattering]
- [office phones ringing]

Ryan Serhant
is in your office.

[♪ quirky music playing]

[Seema] Hello, Ryan.

I'm shocked.
I was sure you'd be sitting,

leaning back in my chair
with your arms behind your head

- and your feet up on my desk.
- No.

That would be
a real dick move.

And the last time I did that,
the chair went out
from under me.

[Seema chuckles]

Ryan, as I responded
to your texts and emails--

No, no, no,
this isn't about me hiring you.

I'm here because I would like
to acquire a property

and you're the only one
who can help me land it.

- Okay, tell me about it.
- It's one of a kind,

and at this point,
completely undervalued.

And where is this property?

Mm, it's within
walking distance, and--

It's me.

It's you.
That's why you need
to come and work for me.

'Cause you're
one of the few people
quicker than me.

But just the perfect
amount of quicker,

not, you know, threatening.

Thank you very much.

But no.

[inhales sharply]
Okay, well,

if you don't intend to work
for the Serhant empire,

then you might want to be
off this floor by next week.

I thought I had 30 days.

Sorry.
My people need the space.

And sadly,
there's the dick move
you were expecting.

[♪ quirky music continues]

See you around town.

[sighs deeply]

Shit.

Well, now that I have
your attention,

what was wrong
with the dining room table?

What dining room table?

"What dining room table?"
What?!

The dining room table you gave
the big thumbs down to.

Nothin'.

You wanted a quick answer,
that was the quickest.

Oh. I thought
it was really special.

I could see us sitting there
having a whole life.

Well, in that case...

- bloop-bloop.
- [Carrie laughs]

Will you do me a favor?

Oh, my God, another one?

[chuckles] Okay, look,

i-if I give the boys
off tomorrow...

- Mm-hmm?
- ...would you just spend
some time with them?

You know, let 'em
get to know you?

Both of them?

'Cause Homer and I
are already buddies.

Go Wildcats.

I know, but I can't
single out Wyatt.

He'll just
feel self-conscious.

Well, sure, but, um,

isn't-- isn't that going
to be kind of obvious?

You know,
"Get to Know Me" day?

No, 'cause you won't make
it like that, you'll just...

You know, I'll keep
working on the house,

and you'll hang out
and play a game.

We love games.

Scrabble, Jenga,
Apples to Apples.

You like games?
I don't even know.
We never played a game.

'Cause I'm no good at 'em.

Except this mind game
we're playing right now

called "Dad's going for a swim
while Carrie takes a nap."

Nope. Totally believable,
'cause I swim every day.

What, should I have said, uh,
"Going to the guest house

to ball my calendar girl"?

- [alarm ringing]
- Oh, swim's over.

You timed our sex?

[chuckles]
No. I timed the swim.

Sex would have been
ten more minutes.

- [chuckles]
- You better get up
from your nap.

You're not gonna be able
to sleep tonight.

So, tonight, um...

will I be sleeping
out here again?

No. Tonight, you will bed
in my chamber.

[laughing]

Hey. Hey!

[Herbert groaning]

- What's wrong?
- Hey, hey.

Oh. [groans]

[sighs]

- Hey, hey.
- [gasps] What?

- What...
- [snoring softly]

[Herbert sighs]

You-- No, I think-- hey!

- No, ma'am.
- Hey.

[♪ "Brunch!"
by Adam Steele playing]

[Lisa] Hey! Hey!

♪

- Morning.
- [Herbert] Mm.

How'd you sleep?

Great. I slept great.

- Good. Good.
- [chuckles]

I'm relieved I didn't
wake you with talking.

Oh no, you did. "Hey!"

You kept saying,
"Hey! Hey!"

Why was I saying, "Hey"?
What was that about?

I think that the bigger question
is why I didn't move

my tired ass to
the guest room two nights ago.

You slept in the guest room?

Emphasis on "slept."

No, no, no. You can't move
to the other room.

Do you know
what they call that?

Common sense.

"Sleep divorce."
When couples start sleeping

in different beds?
[scoffs]

Baby, that's not who we are.

That's who we are right now.

No, that's who we are
just until I pick an editor.

You said you were
gonna do that yesterday.

Well, I panicked.
Clearly, I panicked.

I mean, I know
he has the most skill, but...

like, I'm just worried
that if I hire a male editor

on a project about
Black feminist trailblazers,

I could get dragged
all over social media.

So, he's a guy,
poor bastard.
[chuckles]

- Is he at least Black?
- Oh, he's Black.

Well, then you're done.
You're clear.

- [video game car revving]
- [Aidan] Come on.

- Gimme that phone.
- [Wyatt] Jesus.

I want you guys to show Carrie
what we do around here.

Like what?
Hide all the beer?

- Oh, man.
- [footsteps approaching]

[Homer]
Whoa, Carrie!

Look at you.

Look at me.
Little House on the Carrie.

Worth the trip into town.

- Come here, Mary Lou Betty Sue.
- [Carrie laughing]

Thank you for
requesting me to do this.

It really means a lot.

Clearly,
I'll be expecting a check.

[laughing] Well, in lieu of
a cold-hard-cash kickback,

can I offer a dinner?

What are you doing
tomorrow night?

Oh, unfortunately,
I'm already booked for dinner.

- Oh.
- Meeting friends

in from the UK
at Gramercy Tavern.

Oh!
I'm house-sitting

in Gramercy Park.

Maybe you could come by
after for a drink.

I mean, you have a drink,
I'll have a tea, and...

- Um...
- Oh, the "drink-tea-and" combo.

- [Miranda chuckles]
- Cheeky. I'd like that.

- Yeah?
- Very, very much.

I mean, I still will be
expecting a check.

Well, you know, naturally.
[laughing]

Okay, going live
in 30 seconds.

Oh! Right!

- Okay, okay.
- Here you go.

Um, thank you so much.
Alright, I got it.

[crew chattering]

Um-- Oh, can I hand you these?

Remember what
we talked about.

- Hm, yeah.
- So, if you feel yourself

racing through the information,
just stop.

- Right.
- Take a breath.

- Okay.
- And then on you go.

- Right, right.
- Yes?

- Okay.
- Sound rolling.

Yeah, alright.

In five, four, three...

Human Rights Watch is closely
monitoring the situation

in Central Africa
where the number

of internally displaced
in the north

has reached
unprecedented levels.

The renewed fighting
combined with the rough terrain

makes it almost impossible
for the displaced

to access camps
with safe water and sanitation

in the wild cunt... ryside.

- [crew] Did she just say "cunt"?
- [Miranda] And yet...

[water lapping]

[clapping]
Whoo!

Excellent.

Huh. Hmm.

[Homer sighs]

[sighs]
And just like that, I'm fishing.

[frogs croaking]

- I hope I catch a salmon.
- [Homer laughing]

It's the only kind of fish
I know how to cook.

Hey, you like salmon, Wyatt?

You can't catch salmon here.
It's Virginia, not Alaska.

- Hey, hey, she was being funny.
- It's okay.

Just, would you stop
being so rude, Wyatt?

What? I hate fishing!
It's so boring.

Well...

we have 24 hours
off the chain gang,

what do you wanna do?

- Ooh!
- [chickens clucking]

Hey. Hey, we're going to
the mall to kill zombies.

- What?
- Yeah, Wyatt wants to go

to, um, one of those VR places

- where you do those things.
- No, no, no, no.

He just wants back on screens.
That ain't happening.

Aidan, come on, man,
it's the first time

he's made eye contact
with me since I got here.

If he wants to kill zombies,
we're killing zombies.

Well, you're not killing
fucking zombies without me.

Oh.
Alright, come on.

[knife thuds]

[phone dings]

Wild cunt. Wild cunt.
Wild cunt. Wild cunt.

Wild cunt. Wild cunt.
Wild cunt. Wild cunt. Wild cu--

[video stops]

[phone ringing]

Hi, Mom.
Or should I say "hi, meme"?

What is that video?
And where did it come from?

It came from, like,
everyone I know.

What were you even saying?

"Countryside."
I was saying "countryside."

It's totally out of context.

Well, way to get famous.

Please don't say I'm famous.

- Please don't say that.
- [Brady] Don't freak out.

In a minute, a celebrity
will say something stupid
and you'll be over.

I hope so.
God, I wanna be over.

Mom, I should go.
I'm chopping,

and I don't wanna
"cunt" my finger.

[Miranda] [with mouth full]
Brady, that's not funny.

This could be a disaster for me.

- [Homer] Oh, man!
- [Carrie] Where are you?

- [Homer] Oh, no way!
- [Wyatt] Good one, Dad.

- No! Fuck yeah,
you motherfuckers!
- [Carrie squealing]

- [Homer] I got you.
- [Wyatt] Ooh, this is intense.

- Oh, fuck yeah!
- They're coming
right at you, Carrie.

- [Aidan] Ooh, right
behind you, Carrie!
- Oh, where?

- [Wyatt] Dad, right behind you!
- [Aidan] Good one, Carrie!

- [Carrie] Oh, thanks, honey.
- Eat it, motherfuckers.

- I got you, Dad. I got you.
- Oh! Ouch!

- [buzzer blaring]
- Hold. Hold. Actual impact.

What?
Who got hit?

Me.
I got hit on the head.

[employee] Player one
made contact.

- [Carrie] Ooh!
- It happens.

I was just trying to step in
to save my dad.

- I didn't mean to.
- It's okay, buddy.

- You alright?
- [Carrie] Yeah.

- She's okay.
- [Homer] What are you doing?

- You wanna get back at it?
- No, I think I'm-- I'm--

I'm done killing zombies,
for the day.

Okay. Game over.

[Carrie sighs loudly]

- It was an accident.
- No, I know.

I mean, you know, he's...
he's not a violent kid.

Try not to make him feel bad.

Let me-- let me
get this vest.

Well, now I feel like I'm not
allowed to touch my head.

- Ah. Come here.
- [Homer] Here's his vest.
No joke.

- [employee] Yo,
I'll take the helmet.
- [Homer] Wyatt.

- Aww.
- It's alright, it's alright.

Whoa-ho-ho!
Beautiful brisket.

Charlotte.

And my sister said
you'd never be a real Jew.

- I thought Rita liked me.
- Dad!

Oh, never mind.
It's perfect.

10-F was asking if we still
have that spare banana?

Jesus!
There are five potential
banana purchase points

in a two-block radius
of this building.

What did you do,
count them?

Yes.
Let her get her own bananas!

You got a ton of bananas here.

She wants.
You have.

Be nice.

Exactly, Pop-Pop.

[phone ringing]

Oh.
Miranda, hey.

- I'm cooking.
- Did you see it?

Oh, shoot,
were you on today?

I missed it.
Harry's father's here.

Ah, I don't want
any special treatment.

Did you get me
my cream soda?

Oh, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no. Oh, good.

- [door closes]
- Maybe it's not so bad.

Tell Aunt Miranda
I saw her meme.

- Fuck.
- [knocking]

Ooh, Harry, let Anthony
and Giuseppe in, okay?

I-- I can't find
my cream soda here.

Type "cream soda"
into Building Link,
see what we got.

Listen, Miranda,
people are arriving.

Call me tomorrow, okay?

Oh, I will.

From whatever "cunt-ry"
I've moved to.

Hello.
I'm here for my banana.

- Oi.
- Did someone say "banana"?

- Who are you?
- Morris Goldenblatt,

at your service.

Well, isn't that nice?

Son, you gonna
introduce me

to your... very
attractive neighbor?

Sure.
This is 10-F, Marilyn Scholl.

Marilyn, do you like brisket?

Mom, this is really delicious.

Do you have any spare
barbecue sauce?

[silverware clattering]

Uh, yes.
I'll-- I'll get you some.

So, what do you do,
young man?

I just opened my own artisan
bakery in the neighborhood.

Alright, don't brag.

I was talking
to the young one.

Yeah, but you were
lookin' at me.

Diego's a ballet dancer,
Pop-Pop.

Here it is!

Oh. [chuckles]

Oh. Only this kind?

- [silverware clattering]
- Um, what did I miss?

Um, I was just telling Pop-Pop
that Diego's a ballet dancer.

- Oh.
- So, you have

a ballet dancer boyfriend?

I do.

- Uh, I do, right?
- Mm-hmm.

- [Lily chuckles]
- [Morris] Good for you, Lily.

You know, back in my day,
boy ballet dancers

didn't have girlfriends.
They had boyfriends.

- Back in my day, they did too.
- [Morris chuckles]

- Oh, I have a boyfriend too.
- [silverware clattering]

[Charlotte] Oh!

- You-- you do?
- Mm-hmm.

Diego's poly.

[Morris]
Rock, you know
all the new things.

What's your sister
talking about?

Oh, polysexual.

Diego's attracted
to multiple partners
simultaneously.

I hope it's okay
I spoke for you?

Yeah, that's cool.
Thank you.

- Mm.
- [Morris] Well.

Does Polly
want more brisket?

- [laughter]
- I'd love to take some home

if there's a spare Tupperware.

[silverware clattering]

- Mm.
- [Herbert chuckles]

- [kiss smacking]
- Night.

Where are you going?
I hired him.

I can't risk it, Lis.
I have got a big day tomorrow.

I have a full day at work,
I got three campaign Zooms,

and I need to sleep.

You're not even gonna
give me a chance?

I will not talk in my sleep
and keep you awake.

I promise.

[♪ plucky music playing]

One "Hey!", and it's
sleep divorce, okay?

I mean it, Lis.
I'm gone.

[Herbert snoring lightly]

[whispering]
Stay awake. Stay awake.

Stay awake.

[♪ gentle music playing]

[office phones ringing]

- Kiki? Bye, James.
- Bye.

I'll send movers to
collect my things for storage.

Short-term.

[phones ringing]

[♪ gentle music continues]

You know, I started
in real estate as an assistant.

Someone saw something in me.
I see something in you.

It'll be a small company
at first, but it'll grow,

and you'll grow with it.

Yeah.
My rent is 3,000 a month.

Got it.

Well, that was my best
Jerry Maguire.

[chuckles]
Who's Jerry Maguire?

It's a movie,
Science-fiction.

[birds chirping]

Look at you!
You look like a TV commercial.

[chuckles]
Please don't say
Summer's Eve.

[Aidan laughing]

- [kiss smacking]
- [car horn honking]

[brakes squealing]

Hey, look who's here.

[Tate] Hey!

[Aidan] Come on.

- Hi, Dad.
- Well, well, Tater Tot.

Yeah, I'm 21 now, huh?

- So, maybe outgrown that?
- [Aidan grunting]

Yeah.
You remember Carrie?

Carrie? Carrie?
No, I don't--

- [Aidan chuckles]
- Hi, Carrie.

Hi. Happy birthday.

Thank you.
It was two days ago, so...

[Kathy] Well, but you still
gotta celebrate with us

because we made you, right?

- [Tate] That was awkward.
- [Kathy] Hi, Carrie.

- Hello, Kathy.
- [Tate] ...since the last
five seconds?

- This is, um, Bob.
- Hi, Boyfriend Bob.

[chuckles]
You must be Girlfriend Carrie.

Yes, I-- yeah.
[chuckles]

Oh, there he is.
Let me take this from you

so you can give me a giant hug.

I made your
mac and cheese.

Eat all of it because
you're ridiculously thin.

Yeah, 'cause he's
working me too hard.

Call Social Services.

Okay, Dad,
please don't try and be funny.

Can't help it.
I'm hilarious, right, Carrie?

- Yes, you are, you're hilarious.
- A-ha!

Let's get these burgers on.

I got a lot of fun
planned for tonight.

- [Carrie chuckles]
- [Kathy] Bob, honey,
will you grab the cooler

from the car, and also bring
the cake in the house?

Maybe I should call
Social Services too, huh?

- [Carrie chuckles]
- [Bob sighs]

Thank you so much
for bringing the Adderall.

- Oh.
- I am deeply grateful.

No, I was glad to be helpful.

Um, the dress, is that
from Daisy's by Daisy?

[laughing] Yes.

I-- you know, I didn't know
I was gonna stay,

so I had to find
something local.

Hey, Mom!

- Hey, handsome.
- Hey.

- [phone ringing]
- [Kathy] Ooh!

- [Homer] How are you?
- Good.

- How was the trip?
- Hello.

And, uh, as we say
down here in Virginia,

what in tarnation
was that video thang?

It's bad, right?

I wouldn't say it was good.

But is it bad enough to end

whatever I almost
had going with Joy?

Because I had invited her over,
and she just canceled.

You invited her over
to my house?

- Why? Is that a problem?
- [Carrie] No, no, no,
it's just--

you know, I don't have
any furniture.

Where are you guys gonna sit?

Oh.
You have a bed.

- Look at you.
- [Miranda laughing]

Yeah, well, best laid plans.

Before the meme,
she was excited to stop by

after a dinner
with her friends.

But I just got a call that
she's running late to that,

and won't have enough
time with them.

So, she has to cancel.

Meme-related, right?

Well, there's really only
one way to find out.

Why don't you ask her
to invite her friends over

for a drink after dinner,
you know?

I mean, I don't have furniture,
but I have wine.

You are a genius.

[Carrie]
I don't know about that.

But I do know
you're probably the only one

thinking about that video.

There's been a million memes
since then.

Yeah, that's what Brady said.

Great minds.
Alright, well, have fun.

And tell them I'm sorry
there's nowhere to sit.

- [Tate] What?
- Oh, there you go.

- [Kathy] Yay!
- [Tate] Hey.

- [group] Hey!
- Come on.

- [Homer] You were
asking for that.
- Coffee.

Yeah.

- [Tate] Coffee.
- I mean, it was hard for me

to break in.

- Mm.
- [chatter and laughter]

They-- they are a...
tight-knit group here.

[both laugh]

But after, well,
four years down the road,

it feels pretty normal.

[chuckles]
You know? So...

[Tate]
You got me something?

- Yes, he did.
- Thank you.

Of course,
every now and then,
there is a...

a bump.

He does not like me
to have an opinion.

[background chatter continues]

- [whispering] Aidan.
- Oh.

Uh, so I don't.
[laughing] um...

[Tate] Oh, thank you,
thank you.

But about this
whole Adderall thing?

I mean, I side with Kathy.

Why doesn't he want
Wyatt to take it?

You know, if it helps?

I just don't get it.
What do you think?

- [Tate] Did Mom get me
a gift from you?
- Oh.

- [Bob] Huh?
- You know what, Bob,

can you excuse me
for just a minute?

- Oh.
- I'm just...

Yeah.

[chattering continues]

Aidan, I had no idea
that you didn't approve

of Wyatt and Adderall.

Bob just told me.

[Aidan sighs heavily]

I wouldn't have brought it.

You-- you know that, right?

Yeah, of course,
I know that.

[sighs] Well, I just--
I... I feel awful.

- I don't understand why Kathy--
- Carrie, not tonight.

It's okay.
Come on, it's Tater's birthday.

[Aidan and Carrie]
♪ Happy Birthday... ♪

[laughter]

Yes, I brought
my very good friends

and enough gin to help me
endure their endless chatter.

- [Miranda laughing]
- Works both ways, darling.

- Hello.
- Hiya. Colleen.

- Don't know them.
- Oh, hi. Come on in.

I'm-- I'm Miranda.

Thank you
for having us, Miranda.

- [chuckles]
- Oh, my God.

Are you "wild cunt"?
Colleen, Miranda's "wild cunt."

- [gasps]
- No!

[laughing]
You are "wild cunt"!

Loved your meme.

Nice to meet you,
Wild Cunt.

I'm more of
a tamed cunt myself.

- [laughing]
- Oh, my God, I can't believe

we're in Wild Cunt's flat!

Well, this isn't
actually my flat.

And, uh, the meme
was taken out of context.

Don't you mean "cunt-text"?

- Taken out of "cunt-text"?
- Have a mint!

There is no winning
with this lot.

- [group chattering]
- Shall we go in?

Where is "in"?

Is this an art gallery?

- There's no furniture.
- Well, maybe where the gin is.

[Joy]
I've got the gin.

[Charlotte moaning lightly]

[Harry sputtering]

[both moaning]

[Harry groaning loudly]

What the fuck?

Or should I say,
what the non-fucking fuck

is going on down there?

Honey, your father
is in the next room.

- It's understandable.
- Not really.

I had sex with
my high school girlfriend
in the laundry room

while my mother
was nearby in the kitchen

- making a Waldorf salad.
- Well, that wasn't smart.

No, but it was hard!

- [Harry scoffs]
- [Charlotte sighs]

This is not like me.

What, is-- is this it?
The beginning of the end?

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?" "Old age."

Honey!

What is going on
with you lately?

You're just suddenly
obsessed with old age.

Because it's coming!

Just look at my father.

[exhales sharply]

I mean,
he used to be so virile,
a-- a real goer.

Now, he-- he's just walking
around with a limp banana.

I already have his feet.
I don't want his dick.

Mine is still good.

I got a warranty
around here someplace.

[sighs]
Honey,

you are not your father.

But someday,
that warranty might expire.

I'm sorry, but it might.

And sex...
might be off the table.

But will that mean that
we're not connected anymore?

Will not having sex mean that
we aren't Harry and Charlotte?

I'm thinking.

- [scoffs]
- No. No.

I will always, always love you

in every way humanly possible.

[softly] Good.

[sighs]

Now, tell me again
how I'm not my father.

- Okay.
- [knocking]

Um...

[Rock]
Can I come in?

Ok-- Okay. Come in, Rock.

- So...
- [Charlotte] Mm-hmm?

I just cleaned up
Pop-Pop's iPad.

And that stuff
he was trying to download?

- PornHub. Lots of PornHub.
- Oh.

- Uh...
- Yeah, so maybe don't ask me

to do stuff anymore,
like, ever.

Oh, okay, um...
Okay, sweetheart.

Why don't you just
go give this back to him

and just
don't say anything.

He's not here.

He said he's going up to 10-F.

And not to wait up for him.

- [Charlotte chuckles]
- [door closes]

There's life
in the old banana yet.

[laughing]

No, no,
the most treacherous night

we've ever spent together
was that night in Kabul

when this one tried to pass off
Sybil as his fiancée.

- [laughing loudly]
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God, yes!

- That homophobic border guard.
- [laughter]

"I'm Cyril Sylvestri,

"and this is Sybil Cummings,

- and we are affianced!"
- Affianced.

[laughter]

Has there ever been
a sentence structure

- with more S's?
- [Cyril] Hm.

[Sybil] Seriously.
[laughing]

- Darlings, laugh all you want.
- Sorry.

- Sorry, darling.
- But the rat bought it,

- and I'm alive.
- [Sybil] No, darling!

You're alive because Joy
gave the rat a fistful of cash.

- [all] Ohh!
- Ice?

Okay, so I pick
whichever card

best describes
the word "delicate"?

No, you're supposed
to pick the, uh, definition

you like the most,
not the actual definition.

Pick "dog farts."

Hey, it's supposed
to be anonymous.

You don't have to pick his.
I'll drive you

- to the airport tomorrow.
- [chuckles] Thank you.

Okay.
Um, I pick, um...

- "Walmart."
- [Kathy] Yes!

- I am destroying
Apples to Apples tonight.
- Go, Mom.

Wait, wait,
how is that delicate?

Oh, well, I would like
to think of Walmart

as a, uh, delicate
social experiment.

- [Aidan] Ah.
- [Homer] That's good.

Okay, it's my turn
to be the judge.

Then, why don't you
go deal already?

He's doing it.

Does anyone need anything?
Hm?

- Bob, you good?
- I am good.

Bobby.

The word is "mysterious."

- Ooh, mysterious.
- [Kathy] Ooh, mysterious.

- [Homer laughing]
- Got a good one for that.

Fanning yourself.
Okay, we got one.

[Tate] Alrighty.
[clearing throat]

- [Homer] There's five.
- [Aidan clearing throat]

- [Homer] Ready?
- [Kathy] Mm-hmm, yeah.

The word is "mysterious."

- [Kathy] Mm-hmm
- [Carrie] Yes.

"Pumpkin spice latte."

[chuckles]
"My dance moves."

"Three hours sleep."

"Shark attack,"
and "Jennifer Lawrence."

- [Aidan] "Three hours sleep"?
- Yeah, my cards suck.

- [laughter]
- [Aidan] Ugh.

Uh, well, "my dance moves"
is definitely Dad.

How'd you know?
Wow! [vocalizing]

[laughter and chatter]

Hey, hey, come on now.

[laughter]

[Homer] I pick...

- "pumpkin spice latte."
- Oh! Oh, my God, that's me!

- [Homer] Congratulations.
- [Tate] There you go, Carrie.

Thank you.
Because it's a mystery

as to why they're so popular.

- I do not like them at all.
- See?

- Why'd you pick hers?
- [Carrie] My first one.

That doesn't even
make any sense.

Jennifer Lawrence
played Mystique in X-Men.

Well, it's not literal.

"Mysterious" is, like,
right there in her name.

- I should have won that.
- Well, you'll get the next one.

- I didn't win any so far.
- Carrie picked you once.

But none of you
ever pick mine.
None of you.

Her name is Mystique,
come on.

Jesus, fuck.

- Hey.
- Hey, man.

- No one ever picks mine.
- Great, here we go again.

- Yeah, it's Wyatt time.
- You know what? Fuck you both.

I'm not playing.
It's stupid.

[Aidan] [scoffs]
Guys, come on.

- [Homer] What?
- [Tate] Dad?

Hey, Wyatt.
Yeah, you're gonna play.

He just needs some
time to cool off.

Hey, we're all playing a game.

- Bob's not playing.
- Bob never plays.

- True.
- [Aidan] No, no.
No, sir. Come on.

- Screen off.
- [Kathy] Aidan.

Dad, come on,
stop babying him.
Let's play.

[Aidan]
Hey, Switch off.

Wyatt. Off.
We're playing a family game.

It's not a family game!
It's not family. They're here!

We all just need
to calm down.

[Wyatt]
Nobody cares about me!
Nobody!

All they've ever done
is care about you!

[Tate] "Poor me,
my parents got divorced."

- [Wyatt] Fuck you, Tate!
- Grow the fuck up!

Don't you see why he needs it?

- Kathy, don't start.
- No, I'm sorry,

but he-- this is why he needs
to be on medication.

I-- I don't understand
how you don't see it.

The kid's got
substance abuse issues
as it is.

You wanna
load him up on pills?

[Kathy]
He was diagnosed
with ADHD,

and I don't think
painting a house is the answer.

And I'm not
loading him up on pills.

- I resent that.
- [Aidan] Yeah?

Well, I resent you
asking Carrie

to mule your shit
down here from New York.

Oh, Aidan, look,
I know you are really upset

about her seeing this--

Okay, Kath,
nobody asked you
to get her involved.

- Nobody asked Bob
to get involved.
- Hey!

- What the fuck?
- What does Bob
have to do with it?

I don't need his opinions
on how I raise my family.

Oh! So, it's your family now?

Take a breath, Aidan.

- Great birthday.
- [Homer] I'm sorry, Tate.

Fuck you, Wyatt!

Fuck you, Homer!

- [glass shattering]
- [all exclaiming]

Fuck you all.
Fuck you all.

[Aidan] Wyatt!
Wyatt, goddammit!

- [door closes]
- Come back here!

- Wyatt, come back here!
- [Tate] Yeah.

- [crickets chirping]
- [frogs croaking]

How are you?

I need to go for a real swim.

- [crickets continue chirping]
- [frogs continue croaking]

Well, thanks so much
for hosting.

Your friends seemed
to have a good time.

Yes, they always do.
Exhaustingly good time.

- Yeah.
- Thanks again. Good night.

[traffic noise,
car horn honking]

Joy?

[chuckles softly]
You were so quiet tonight.

Well, I couldn't seem
to get a word in edgewise.

Well, not just that.

You could barely make
eye contact with me,

and when you did,
you looked away.

Let's see,
what can I say here? Um...

You don't have
to say anything.

You gave me a chance,
and I said "wild cunt."

And now,
I'm a meme and a joke

to you and your friends,
and you can barely look at me.

Which is sad, because I think
we could have been a...

drink-tea-and... something.

So, you think
that my behavior

is because of some
stupid meme?

Well, what else could it be?

Well, it could be
that when I realize

that I'm attracted to somebody,
I tend to shut down.

You're still attracted to me?

I am.

You wild cunt.

Now, I want to warn you
in advance

of what I feel
is about to happen next,

that I am a horrible,
horrible kisser.

Let me be the judge.

[♪ soft music playing]

[whispering]
Liar.

[phone chiming]

Mm.

[phone clicks]

[footsteps approaching]

- [door opens]
- [Aidan] Oh.

You, uh...

- You're back out here.
- Yeah, I-- I don't know.

I felt like maybe you guys
needed some space.

[inhales sharply]

[sighs]
I owe you an apology.

I-- I should have never
asked you to stay.

Then, why did you?

I-- I felt guilty 'cause you
came all the way down here.

And if I couldn't ask you
to stay, then what did--

[sighs]

What did that say about us?
But it was too soon.

Well, I owe you an apology, too.

- Come here.
- [patting bed]

[♪ gentle music playing]

[Aidan sighs]

When you said that you
needed to be down here

and without me...

I didn't believe you.

I mean, I let you think
that I believed you,

but I really didn't believe...

you needed to be here.

But now, I do.

You need to be here,
and without me.

[♪ gentle music continues]

You breaking up with me?

Oh, my God, no.

Oh, my God, no, Aidan.
No, in fact...

I realized that you didn't have
a key to Gramercy.

So, open your hand.

Use it when you can.

Use it when you need,
but don't use it out of guilt.

I am so glad I was here,

because I realized that even
though I think I'm not good

at playing games,

I've been playing one
this whole time.

You know, the waiting game.
I'm waiting for you to...

push this all forward.

You know, I haven't
even bought furniture.

I still have the mattresses
stacked up

in the upstairs hallway,
not knowing if the boys
are gonna come.

But they're not,
they're not coming.

You know, not for a while,
I think.

So, no more games.

♪

And I love you.

- [Aidan inhales deeply]
- And I'll be there.

[Aidan exhales]

Good.

[kisses]
Thank you.

[Carrie] Mm.

[Aidan sighs]

- [plane intercom dings]
- [flight attendant]
Ladies and gentlemen,

we are now beginning
our final descent

into New York's JFK Airport.

In preparation for landing,

please ensure your
seat belts are fastened,

your seat backs are upright,
and your tray tables

and all large electronic
devices are stowed.

On behalf of the crew,

thank you for
flying with us today,

and we wish you
a pleasant stay
here in New York.

[♪ "Impress"
by Indigo Blaize playing]

[Carrie]
The woman glanced out of her
train compartment mystified,

not quite sure if her taxing
journey had brought her

closer to
or further from

the things
she most longed for.

♪ You're sick of the way
she looks at ya ♪

♪ When I come around
I get so excited, yeah ♪

♪ Your eyes tell me
I'm invited, yeah ♪

♪ To tell you the truth ♪

♪ I wanna show you
'round my body ♪

♪ All these curves
got you swervin', babe ♪

♪ I don't bite,
I won't hurt you, babe ♪

♪ Take your coat off
for the night ♪

♪ No script,
no rehearsal, babe ♪

♪ Baby, let me try
to impress ya ♪

♪ Yeah, I been
trying to impress you ♪

♪ For so long, babe ♪

♪ My eyes, they've been
undressing you ♪

♪ For so long,
and I-I-I, ooh ♪

♪ I been trying
to impress you ♪

♪ For so long, babe ♪

♪ My eyes, they've been
undressing you ♪

♪ For so long,
and I-I-I, ooh ♪

♪ I been trying
to impress you ♪

♪ For so long, babe ♪

♪ So long, so long ♪

♪ My eyes, they've been
undressing you ♪

♪ For so long,
and I-I-I ♪

♪ I wanna show you
'round my body ♪