All language subtitles for According to Jim S05E15 - Mr. Right (2006) WEB-DL 1080p.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:03,603 ALL RIGHT. HONEY, ARE... ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY 2 00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,605 PLAYING A BOARD GAME INSTEAD OF WATCHING SPORTS? 3 00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,607 HONEY, THEY HAVE PLAYOFFS EVERY YEAR. 4 00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:08,778 YEAH. 5 00:00:08,779 --> 00:00:11,211 BESIDES, YOU GIRLS DO PLENTY FOR US. AM I RIGHT? 6 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,482 IT'S SO TRUE. OH. 7 00:00:12,483 --> 00:00:14,184 LET'S PLAY. COME ON. 8 00:00:14,185 --> 00:00:15,785 DANA, YOU'RE UP. ALL RIGHT, UM... 9 00:00:15,786 --> 00:00:17,347 I GET THIS ONE, RIGHT? (Ryan) YOU GOT IT. 10 00:00:17,348 --> 00:00:19,189 (Dana) YEAH. JIM. I'M READY. 11 00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:21,151 OKAY, "YOU ARE ON A PLANE. 12 00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:24,154 "AN ATTRACTIVE PASSENGER OF THE OPPOSITE SEX OFFERS YOU 13 00:00:24,155 --> 00:00:26,156 "A NO-STRINGS-ATTACHED INTIMATE ENCOUNTER." 14 00:00:26,157 --> 00:00:27,157 OH. 15 00:00:27,158 --> 00:00:31,102 "THERE IS NO WAY ANYONE WILL EVER FIND OUT." 16 00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:36,266 DO YOU ACCEPT? 17 00:00:36,267 --> 00:00:37,537 ABSOLUTELY! 18 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,039 WHAT? 19 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,171 ABSOLUTELY. 20 00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:44,314 IF THE REF DON'T SEE IT, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. 21 00:00:44,315 --> 00:00:45,645 OH, COME ON. 22 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,377 NO, THAT'S THE TRUTH, RIGHT? AMEN TO THAT. 23 00:00:47,378 --> 00:00:48,448 SEE THAT? 24 00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,350 YOU, TOO? OH, COME ON. 25 00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:53,123 IT'S SEX ON A PLANE. THAT'S MY THING. 26 00:00:53,124 --> 00:00:54,354 YEAH! 27 00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,356 THAT'S DISGUSTING. I CAN'T EVEN BE HERE FOR THIS. 28 00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,358 I AM NOT PLAYING THIS STUPID GAME ANYMORE. 29 00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,059 WHAT? COME ON. (Ryan) GUYS. 30 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,061 I-I GOT THAT ONE RIGHT. WE'RE WINNIN'. 31 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,564 I GOT FOUR POINTS. 32 00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,566 OKAY, BACK TO THE REAL GAME. 33 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,798 YEAH. 34 00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,503 ♪♪♪ 35 00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:21,211 DO AN ARABESQUE LIKE WE SHOWED YOU. 36 00:01:21,212 --> 00:01:24,214 WHY? IT'S YOUR STUPID BALLET RECITAL. 37 00:01:24,215 --> 00:01:26,216 BUT OUR TEACHER SAID THE BEST WAY TO LEARN 38 00:01:26,217 --> 00:01:29,088 IS TO TEACH SOMEBODY ELSE. THEN TEACH KYLE. 39 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,621 BOYS DON'T DANCE. 40 00:01:31,622 --> 00:01:34,165 FINE. 41 00:01:37,368 --> 00:01:41,772 LUCKY FOR YOU, I JUST CAME FROM MY HIP-HOP CLASS. 42 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,409 (camera shutter clicks) 43 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:52,443 HEY! GIVE ME THAT! 44 00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,516 NO, CHERYL, NO. 45 00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,519 IT WAS A CHINESE LAUNDRY. THEN IT WAS A COFFEE SHOP. 46 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,820 NO, JIM. 47 00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,522 IT WAS A MEXICAN RESTAURANT. 48 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,823 WE HAD A FIGHT THERE 49 00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,825 BECAUSE YOU KEPT SAYING "FELIZ NAVIDAD" 50 00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,527 WAS THE MEXICAN NATIONAL ANTHEM. 51 00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,128 NO, CHERYL. 52 00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,530 WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOIN' HOME SO EARLY? 53 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,533 WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE THAT? 54 00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:17,208 'CAUSE MY MILK SHAKE BRINGS ALL THE GIRLS TO THE YARD. 55 00:02:21,272 --> 00:02:23,443 WE'RE HOME EARLY BECAUSE WE MISSED THE MOVIE 56 00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,445 BECAUSE THIS ONE INSISTED ON STOPPING 57 00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,417 AT THE COFFEE SHOP ON ROOSEVELT 58 00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:29,419 TO ASK IF IT USED TO BE A CHINESE LAUNDRY. 59 00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:30,420 IT WAS. 60 00:02:30,421 --> 00:02:32,782 IT WAS NOT. IT WAS A MEXICAN RESTAURANT. 61 00:02:32,783 --> 00:02:33,783 CHINESE LAUNDRY! 62 00:02:33,784 --> 00:02:35,154 OH, GOD. 63 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,657 IT'S THE ERIK ESTRADA STORY ALL OVER AGAIN. 64 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,429 ANDREW! 65 00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:41,462 WE DO NOT SAY THAT NAME IN THIS HOUSE. 66 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,335 WHAT'S THE ERIK ESTRADA STORY? OH. 67 00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:47,897 I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, RYAN. (Dana) OH, GOD. 68 00:02:47,898 --> 00:02:51,501 I'M GONNA NEED BOOZE FOR THIS. 69 00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:53,903 IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL SPRING EVENING, 70 00:02:53,904 --> 00:02:57,377 AND MY LOVE AND I WERE WALKING HAND IN HAND DOWN THE STREET. 71 00:02:57,378 --> 00:03:00,810 SUDDENLY, A CAR PULLED UP, THE WINDOW ROLLED DOWN 72 00:03:00,811 --> 00:03:03,353 AND A FAMOUS FACE APPEARED. 73 00:03:03,354 --> 00:03:05,715 JIM, IF YOU'RE GOIN' FOR SUSPENSE HERE, 74 00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:08,659 YOU SHOULDN'T CALL IT THE "ERIK ESTRADA STORY." 75 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,293 IT WAS JUST SOME GUY WITH NICE HAIR AND A BIG SMILE. 76 00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:16,696 NOT FAMOUS, NOT ERIK ESTRADA. 77 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,898 DON'T YOU THINK I WOULD KNOW IF IT WAS ERIK ESTRADA? 78 00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:22,402 I WATCHED EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THOSE "CHiPs" EPISODES, 79 00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:26,205 AND IF FRANK "PONCH" PONCHERELLO ASKED ME 80 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,207 FOR DIRECTIONS TO THE OLD ORCHARD MALL, 81 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,210 BY GOD, I'M GONNA KNOW HIM! 82 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,342 OH! 83 00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:33,983 JIM, PONCH WAS A HIGHWAY PATROL OFFICER. 84 00:03:33,984 --> 00:03:36,215 IF HE NEEDED DIRECTIONS TO THE MALL, 85 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,687 ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS CALL INTO DISPATCH. 86 00:03:37,688 --> 00:03:39,389 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? "HEY, IT'S PONCH. 87 00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:41,852 "WHERE'S THE MALL? I GOTTA FIND THE MALL. WHERE AM I GOIN'?" 88 00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:47,397 JIM, WHY WOULD ERIK ESTRADA 89 00:03:47,398 --> 00:03:49,929 WANT TO GO TO THE OLD ORCHARD MALL, HUH? 90 00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,731 HMM, LET ME THINK. 91 00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,864 TO BUY SOMETHING. OH! 92 00:03:54,865 --> 00:03:56,866 THEY DO HAVE THAT STORE "JUST PLACEMATS" 93 00:03:56,867 --> 00:03:59,339 THAT SELLS JUST PLACEMATS. 94 00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,341 I SEE. SO ERIK ESTRADA 95 00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:03,913 IS GOING TO THE MALL TO BUY PLACEMATS. 96 00:04:03,914 --> 00:04:06,245 HONEY, MAYBE HE WAS RESEARCHING A ROLE. 97 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,879 YEAH, YEAH, ABOUT A GUY WHO NEEDS PLACEMATS. OH. 98 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,752 NO, THEY CUSTOM MAKE 'EM. YOU JUST GIVE 'EM A PHOTO, 99 00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,253 BUT NOT ANY PHOTO. 100 00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,755 THEY HAVE RULES. 101 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,528 ANYWAY, SO ERIK SAYS TO ME... 102 00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:22,332 NOT ERIK! SOME GUY. 103 00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:24,994 AND WELCOME TO THE LAST TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE. 104 00:04:24,995 --> 00:04:27,367 TEN YEARS? MM-HMM. 105 00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,369 COME ON. YOU GUYS NEED TO LET IT GO. 106 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:32,041 OHH, RIGHT. 107 00:04:32,042 --> 00:04:34,043 "LET IT GO"? 108 00:04:34,044 --> 00:04:36,946 "LET IT GO," YOU SAY, YOUNG RYAN? 109 00:04:36,947 --> 00:04:38,648 NO! 110 00:04:38,649 --> 00:04:40,650 I'M NOT GONNA LET THIS ONE GO. 111 00:04:40,651 --> 00:04:42,652 YOU KNOW WHY? BECAUSE I CAN WIN THIS ONE. 112 00:04:42,653 --> 00:04:44,654 IT'S A TRUE OR FALSE. 113 00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:47,657 IF IT WAS AN ESSAY QUESTION, 114 00:04:47,658 --> 00:04:49,419 I'D LET IT GO. 115 00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:51,421 BECAUSE WHEN MEN AND WOMEN DEBATE 116 00:04:51,422 --> 00:04:53,423 OVER EMOTIONS OR OPINIONS, 117 00:04:53,424 --> 00:04:56,426 THAT'S AN ESSAY QUESTION, AND GUYS ALWAYS LOSE. 118 00:04:56,427 --> 00:04:58,868 WHY DO WE LOSE, YOU SAY? 119 00:04:58,869 --> 00:05:01,000 BECAUSE WOMEN TRY TO CONFUSE YOU 120 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,373 WITH THEIR FEELINGS AND THEIR TRICKY DEVIL WORDS. 121 00:05:03,374 --> 00:05:05,375 YEAH. 122 00:05:05,376 --> 00:05:07,377 WE LEARN THEM AT CAMP 123 00:05:07,378 --> 00:05:09,879 IN BETWEEN PILLOW FIGHTS AND KISSING PRACTICE. 124 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,882 BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO FACTS OR RIGHT OR WRONG, 125 00:05:12,883 --> 00:05:15,515 MAN MUST STAND BY THE TRUTH. 126 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,787 GALILEO DID IT. ISAAC NEWTON DID IT. 127 00:05:17,788 --> 00:05:19,790 JIM'S GONNA DO IT. 128 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,694 I GAVE ERIK ESTRADA DIRECTIONS TO THE OLD ORCHARD MALL, 129 00:05:24,695 --> 00:05:27,998 AND HE GAVE ME THE GUNS. 130 00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:33,663 IT WAS NOT ERIK ESTRADA, AND IT WAS THE THUMB'S UP! 131 00:05:33,664 --> 00:05:34,904 GUNS! THUMBS UP! 132 00:05:34,905 --> 00:05:36,666 GUNS! (clicks tongue) THUMBS UP! 133 00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:38,668 (arguing continues) ISN'T IT SWEET? AFTER 15 YEARS, THEY STILL HAVEN'T 134 00:05:38,669 --> 00:05:40,670 RUN OUT OF POINTLESS CRAP TO FIGHT ABOUT. 135 00:05:40,671 --> 00:05:41,871 LET'S BE LIKE THEM. 136 00:05:41,872 --> 00:05:43,413 LET'S NOT. 137 00:05:43,414 --> 00:05:46,517 OH! BABY. OH! 138 00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,623 JIM, BIG NEWS. YEAH? 139 00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:55,585 GUESS WHAT I LEARNED ON THE INTERNET LAST NIGHT? 140 00:05:55,586 --> 00:05:57,587 OH, ANDY, THOSE ARE SUGAR PILLS. 141 00:05:57,588 --> 00:05:59,359 IT'S NOT GONNA GET ANY BIGGER. 142 00:06:00,991 --> 00:06:03,463 TALK TO ME IN THREE WEEKS. 143 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,895 BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. 144 00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:08,738 I WENT ON TO AN OFFICIAL ERIK ESTRADA FAN SITE. 145 00:06:08,739 --> 00:06:11,901 OH, OH! DID IT SAY HE WAS AT THE OLD ORCHARD MALL? 146 00:06:11,902 --> 00:06:14,444 NO, IT DIDN'T LIST ALL THE MALLS HE'S BEEN TO, 147 00:06:14,445 --> 00:06:16,446 BUT IT DID SAY THAT HE'S IN TOWN RIGHT NOW. 148 00:06:16,447 --> 00:06:18,448 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. HE'S DOIN', LIKE, 149 00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:21,651 A CHARITY POKER TOURNAMENT ON A RIVERBOAT DOWN IN JOLIET. 150 00:06:21,652 --> 00:06:25,014 OH, THIS IS GOIN' ON RIGHT NOW... TODAY. 151 00:06:25,015 --> 00:06:26,516 WE GOTTA GET DOWN THERE. 152 00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:28,888 I'M GONNA PROVE TO CHERYL ONCE AND FOR ALL SHE'S WRONG! 153 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,861 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT ABOUT THE GIRLS' BALLET RECITAL? 154 00:06:31,862 --> 00:06:34,524 BALLET RECITAL? THEY HAD ONE A MONTH AGO. 155 00:06:34,525 --> 00:06:36,866 THAT WAS A YEAR AGO... AND IT'S TONIGHT. 156 00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:38,828 YOU THINK WE'LL MAKE IT BACK IN TIME? 157 00:06:38,829 --> 00:06:39,869 LISTEN, I GOTTA TAKE THAT CHANCE. 158 00:06:39,870 --> 00:06:41,871 AND THROUGH THE MAGIC OF VIDEOTAPE, 159 00:06:41,872 --> 00:06:45,905 MR. HENRY ENRIQUE ESTRADA IS GONNA TELL CHERYL 160 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,478 THAT SHE IS WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. 161 00:06:48,479 --> 00:06:50,510 OH, HEY, AND I'LL GET HIM TO RECORD 162 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,813 A NEW OUTGOING CELL PHONE MESSAGE. 163 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,685 WHAT'S THE MATTER, 164 00:06:55,686 --> 00:06:57,687 YOUR SNOOP DOGG'S NOT WORKIN' NO MORE? 165 00:06:57,688 --> 00:07:01,190 LEAVE A MIZZLE AT THE TIZZLE. 166 00:07:01,191 --> 00:07:03,894 COME ON, LET'S GO. 167 00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,499 THERE HE IS. 168 00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,431 (Andy) OH, WOW. 169 00:07:15,906 --> 00:07:19,839 OH, JIM, TO WALK IN THAT MAN'S SHOES FOR ONE DAY. 170 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:20,840 YEAH. 171 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,842 THE STORIES, THE DELIGHTS... 172 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:26,015 OH, THE WOMEN, JIM. OH, GOD, THE WOMEN. 173 00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:28,017 SETTLE DOWN, ANDY. 174 00:07:28,018 --> 00:07:30,680 WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER NEIL DIAMOND INCIDENT HERE. 175 00:07:30,681 --> 00:07:32,922 WELL, I WANTED TO SEE IF HIS SHIRT WAS MADE OF SILK. 176 00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:35,886 SO YOU ASK HIM, YOU DON'T HUG HIM. 177 00:07:37,988 --> 00:07:39,930 COME ON. 178 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,833 HI, PLAYERS. HI. 179 00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,234 ARE YOU REGISTERED FOR THE TOURNAMENT? 180 00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:48,137 ARE WE REGISTERED FOR THE TOURNAMENT? 181 00:07:48,138 --> 00:07:49,138 (laughs) 182 00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:52,772 COME ON. WE REGISTERED EARLY. 183 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,974 WE'RE PROBABLY THE FIRST TWO NAMES ON THE LIST. 184 00:07:54,975 --> 00:08:00,880 OKAY, SO YOU'RE SUNITI PONNURU AND EVELYN CHEN? 185 00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:06,056 YEAH. I'M PROBABLY THE FIRST ONE. 186 00:08:07,918 --> 00:08:10,590 LOOK, I JUST NEED TO TALK TO MR. ESTRADA FOR TWO MINUTES. 187 00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:14,624 AND BY THE WAY, YOU LOOK VERY FETCHING IN THAT VEST 188 00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:16,626 AND STRAW BOATER. 189 00:08:16,627 --> 00:08:18,628 I'M SORRY. IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY REGISTERED, 190 00:08:18,629 --> 00:08:20,630 THE ONLY WAY TO PLAY WITH MR. ESTRADA 191 00:08:20,631 --> 00:08:22,902 IS TO WIN THE SATELLITE TOURNAMENT. 192 00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,575 WH-WHAT'S THE BUY IN? 193 00:08:25,576 --> 00:08:27,136 300 BUCKS. 194 00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:28,908 SIGN ME UP. 195 00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,109 WH-WHOA, WHOA. 196 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,712 ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT, SUNITI? 197 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,585 THAT'S A LOT OF RUPEES. 198 00:08:35,586 --> 00:08:38,688 I MAY BREW TWO POTS OF COFFEE WITH THE SAME GROUNDS, 199 00:08:38,689 --> 00:08:41,951 I MAY BUY MY SNOW TIRES AT THE JUNKYARD, 200 00:08:41,952 --> 00:08:45,896 I MAY EVEN BUILD MY OWN TOOTHBRUSHES... 201 00:08:46,957 --> 00:08:48,958 BUT TO PROVE CHERYL WRONG, 202 00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:52,932 $300... I COULD SPEND IN A HEARTBEAT. 203 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:57,206 EVEN 350. SO, EVELYN CHEN... 204 00:08:57,207 --> 00:09:03,944 MOVE TO THE SIDE, BECAUSE I FEEL LUCKY TODAY! 205 00:09:08,579 --> 00:09:11,180 OUT 900 BUCKS UNDER 2 DIFFERENT NAMES, 206 00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:13,883 AND I STILL DIDN'T GET TO TALK TO ESTRADA. 207 00:09:13,884 --> 00:09:16,586 DID YOU SEE THAT MAN'S HAIR, JIM? 208 00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:19,028 PICTURE ME WITH ESTRADA'S HAIR. 209 00:09:19,029 --> 00:09:21,090 NO. 210 00:09:21,091 --> 00:09:24,193 THINK OF THE WOMEN I COULD PULL WITH THAT RAVEN MANE. 211 00:09:24,194 --> 00:09:26,165 HEY, IF I HAD HIS HAIR AND YOUR CALVES, 212 00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,998 THEN THEY'D SEE. THEY'D ALL SEE. 213 00:09:28,999 --> 00:09:31,741 HEY, HEY, HEY, BUDDY, UH, CAN YOU GET SOMEONE 214 00:09:31,742 --> 00:09:33,843 TO BRING THIS BOAT OVER TO THE DOCK THERE? 215 00:09:33,844 --> 00:09:35,845 I-I GOTTA GET TO MY DAUGHTER'S RECITAL. 216 00:09:35,846 --> 00:09:38,007 IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT. I'M GONNA BE LATE. YEAH, IT'S HIS LITTLE GIRLS'. 217 00:09:38,008 --> 00:09:39,709 I'M SORRY, SIR. 218 00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:41,711 STATE LAW ONLY ALLOWS GAMBLING WHEN WE'RE CRUISING. 219 00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:44,083 WE ONLY DOCK AT THE TOP OF EVERY HOUR TO LET PEOPLE ON AND OFF. 220 00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,286 HEY, ANDY, CAN YOU GREASE HIM? 221 00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,660 YOU WANT ME TO KILL HIM? 222 00:09:50,661 --> 00:09:51,991 BRIBE HIM! 223 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:56,627 SORRY, I SPENT 129 BUCKS ON THIS BOATER. 224 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,231 I'M BROKE AND LATE. 225 00:10:02,232 --> 00:10:05,935 YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S ABOUT 10 FEET. 226 00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:08,037 I THINK WE CAN MAKE IT. 227 00:10:08,038 --> 00:10:10,039 WHOA. JIM, JIM, I DON'T KNOW. 228 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,041 GRAVITY IS NOT MY FRIEND. 229 00:10:12,042 --> 00:10:14,043 YEAH, WELL, MY MIGHTY CALVES 230 00:10:14,044 --> 00:10:16,315 ARE STRONG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US. 231 00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,217 ONE, TWO, THREE... 232 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,288 AAH! AAH! 233 00:10:19,289 --> 00:10:22,292 ("CHiPs" theme song playing) 234 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,799 (classical music playing) 235 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,135 WHERE THE HELL ARE JIM AND ANDY? 236 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,137 (sighs) WHO KNOWS? 237 00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,139 THEY PROBABLY FOUND AN OLD REFRIGERATOR BOX 238 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,141 AND DECIDED TO PLAY FORT. 239 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:47,777 MAN, IF THEY'RE PLAYIN' FORT AND I'M STUCK AT THIS RECITAL... 240 00:10:47,778 --> 00:10:49,348 (water sloshing) 241 00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,950 (whispering) CHERYL? 242 00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,423 CHERYL? 243 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,930 (Andy) AHEM. 244 00:11:00,931 --> 00:11:03,262 SORRY WE'RE LATE. 245 00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:07,436 IT'S NOT EVERY DAY YOU SAVE A DROWNING BABY. 246 00:11:07,437 --> 00:11:10,669 OH, LOOK, SHE LOOKS SO CUTE. 247 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,173 AAH! AAH. 248 00:11:14,805 --> 00:11:16,807 (Andy) HEY. SHH. 249 00:11:21,211 --> 00:11:25,685 SO WHAT WAS THE BABY DOING IN THE FROZEN POND? 250 00:11:27,718 --> 00:11:30,360 THAT'S A QUESTION FOR THE PARENTS. 251 00:11:31,962 --> 00:11:34,193 AND WHERE WERE THE PARENTS? 252 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:39,069 I DON'T KNOW. PROBABLY AT THE BOTTOM... 253 00:11:41,732 --> 00:11:44,934 IN THE CAR. 254 00:11:44,935 --> 00:11:48,738 JIM, THIS IS THE WORST LIE YOU'VE EVER TOLD ME. 255 00:11:48,739 --> 00:11:53,212 OH, PIRATES ON LAKE MICHIGAN WAS MUCH WORSE. 256 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,845 WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON? 257 00:11:55,846 --> 00:11:59,388 ALL RIGHT. ERIK ESTRADA WAS PLAYIN' POKER ON A RIVERBOAT. 258 00:11:59,389 --> 00:12:04,954 I LOST 900 BUCKS, I ENDED UP IN THE RIVER... 259 00:12:04,955 --> 00:12:07,296 YOU CONNECT THE DOTS. 260 00:12:07,297 --> 00:12:11,730 WILL I BE HEARING FROM THE POLICE TONIGHT? 261 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,263 EH, SOMETIMES, THEY CHECK FAKE NAMES, 262 00:12:14,264 --> 00:12:16,265 SOMETIMES, THEY DON'T. 263 00:12:16,266 --> 00:12:21,040 JIM, ALL THIS JUST TO MEET ERIK ESTRADA? 264 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,142 AGAIN, CHERYL. 265 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:27,316 MEET HIM AGAIN. 266 00:12:27,317 --> 00:12:29,148 WOULD YOU JUST ADMIT IT? 267 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:32,051 YOU'RE ADDICTED TO BEING RIGHT. NO, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS, CHERYL. 268 00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,954 OF WHAT? OF ME BEING RIGHT MORE THAN YOU. 269 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:35,955 OH. YEAH. 270 00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,957 COME ON. OH, IS THAT SO? 271 00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,959 YES, THAT'S SO. SO? OH, THAT'S VERY INTERESTING. 272 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,292 THEN WHY DO I HAVE A BOOK FILLED WITH DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS, 273 00:12:43,293 --> 00:12:46,295 INCLUDING PHOTOS, RECEIPTS, AND SIGNED AFFIDAVITS, 274 00:12:46,296 --> 00:12:49,538 OF EVERY TIME YOU HAVE EVER BEEN WRONG? 275 00:12:49,539 --> 00:12:52,101 WHAT? 276 00:12:52,102 --> 00:12:53,903 OH, YEAH, JIM. OH, YEAH. I WRITE IT ALL DOWN, 277 00:12:53,904 --> 00:12:57,077 BECAUSE I KNEW THIS DAY WAS COMIN'. 278 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,249 HOW FAR DOES THIS GO BACK? 279 00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:01,982 ALL THE WAY, BABY! 280 00:13:05,515 --> 00:13:07,516 OUR FIRST DATE? 281 00:13:07,517 --> 00:13:13,192 YES, JIM. PAULY SHORE IS NOT A BEACH IN NEW JERSEY. 282 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,524 "THE THIRD DATE... JIM INSISTS 283 00:13:15,525 --> 00:13:19,298 "THAT JOAN OF ARC WAS MARRIED TO NOAH." 284 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,800 SHE WAS! 285 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,132 SHE WAS NOT! 286 00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:25,804 THEN WHY DID THEY HAVE THE SAME LAST NAME? 287 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,537 YOU SEE? YOU SEE? THIS IS WHY I HAVE TO WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN, 288 00:13:28,538 --> 00:13:30,539 TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY. 289 00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:32,842 OH, OH, "THE GIANT BOOK OF JIM'S WRONGS" 290 00:13:32,843 --> 00:13:36,045 PROVES THAT YOU'RE NOT CRAZY? 291 00:13:36,046 --> 00:13:38,047 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, IT DOES. IT DOES, JIM. 292 00:13:38,048 --> 00:13:39,989 YOU KNOW WHY? YOU KNOW WHY? 293 00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:41,991 'CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE WRONG, IT MEANS I'M RIGHT. 294 00:13:41,992 --> 00:13:43,994 AND IT'S TASTY, JIM, IT'S REAL TASTY. 295 00:13:52,362 --> 00:13:54,333 OKAY, WELL... 296 00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:58,107 I SEE WHERE MAYBE WE BOTH MAY HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM. 297 00:13:58,108 --> 00:14:01,540 (sighs) AH, YOU'RE RIGHT. WE BOTH HAVE TO BE RIGHT. 298 00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,443 WE CAN'T EVER LET ANYTHING GO. 299 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,245 YOU KNOW WHAT'S SAD ABOUT IT? 300 00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,376 HUH? 301 00:14:07,377 --> 00:14:09,378 I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE BEING RIGHT ANYMORE. 302 00:14:09,379 --> 00:14:11,380 IT'S MORE LIKE A HABIT. 303 00:14:11,381 --> 00:14:16,625 I DON'T KNOW. I STILL LIKE IT. 304 00:14:16,626 --> 00:14:22,231 OH. WE HAVE TO CHANGE, JIM. WE HAVE TO. 305 00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:25,194 NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. WE SHOULD CHANGE. 306 00:14:25,195 --> 00:14:27,296 (sighs) YOU KNOW WHAT? 307 00:14:27,297 --> 00:14:29,038 WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER. 308 00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:32,041 LET'S HELP EACH OTHER TO LEARN TO LET GO. 309 00:14:32,042 --> 00:14:35,574 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? 310 00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:39,008 THE ERIK ESTRADA STORY IS OVER. 311 00:14:39,009 --> 00:14:41,150 OH. OKAY. 312 00:14:41,151 --> 00:14:45,054 UNLESS... 313 00:14:45,055 --> 00:14:49,318 YOU WANNA GO DOWN TO HIS HOTEL AND FIND OUT FOR SURE. 314 00:14:49,319 --> 00:14:51,360 IT'S A GREAT IDEA. 315 00:14:51,361 --> 00:14:53,022 YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'LL TAKE ELM STREET 316 00:14:53,023 --> 00:14:54,994 'CAUSE MAIN IS FULL OF CONSTRUCTION. 317 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,996 NO, NO, NO, MAIN IS CLEAR. 318 00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,998 IT'S PINE THAT'S GOT THE CONSTRUCTION. 319 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,529 I'M BRINGIN' THE BOOK! 320 00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:04,304 FINE, FINE. BRING THE BOOK. YOU CAN BRING THE BOOK. 321 00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:17,546 ARE YOU SURE THIS IS ERIK ESTRADA'S CAR? 322 00:15:17,547 --> 00:15:20,249 YEAH, I GREASED THE PARKING ATTENDANT. 323 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,221 YOU KILLED HIM? 324 00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,995 I PAID HIM OFF! 325 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:29,698 LOOK, LOOK, HONEY, HE HAS A PINE AIR FRESHENER. 326 00:15:29,699 --> 00:15:33,232 NO, NO, THAT'S JASMINE. 327 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,533 THAT'S PINE. 328 00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,365 IT'S JASMINE. I CAN SMELL IT FROM HERE. 329 00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:39,168 OH, YOU CAN'T SMELL JASMINE. IT SMELLS LIKE THE CHINESE LAUNDRY 330 00:15:39,169 --> 00:15:41,140 THAT'S NOW A COFFEE SHOP. 331 00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,042 THAT IS RIDICULOUS. 332 00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,713 IF ANYTHING, IT SMELLS LIKE A PINE FOREST... 333 00:15:44,714 --> 00:15:46,615 CHERYL, CHERYL, LOOK, LOOK, LOOK! OH. 334 00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:50,379 MR. ESTRADA, MR. ESTRADA... WE HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU. 335 00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:53,052 YEAH, JUST ONE QUESTION. NO, NO, NO, LOOK, I DON'T HAVE ANY CHANGE. 336 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:55,054 (Cheryl) NO, NO, NO, IT'S NOT THAT. NO, IT'S NOT THAT. 337 00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,056 WERE YOU EVER AT THE OLD ORCHARD MALL? 338 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,358 REALLY, I GOTTA RUN. TAKE CARE. NO, NO, NO! 339 00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,960 IT WAS ABOUT TEN YEARS AGO! TEN YEARS AGO! REMEMBER ME? 340 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,962 TEN YEARS AGO! REMEMBER ME? I ASKED YOU... 341 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,997 I GAVE YOU DIRECTIONS! WAIT, MR. ESTRADA! 342 00:16:07,998 --> 00:16:11,240 MR. ESTRA... HENRY! 343 00:16:11,241 --> 00:16:14,043 OH, THIS CLOSE! 344 00:16:14,044 --> 00:16:16,005 WE WEREN'T CLOSE, JIM. YES, WE WERE! 345 00:16:16,006 --> 00:16:20,149 WE'RE DONE. IT'S SETTLED. HE DOESN'T REMEMBER YOU. 346 00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:22,151 HE DIDN'T HEAR ME, CHERYL. OH, COME ON. 347 00:16:22,152 --> 00:16:24,113 HE IS DEAF IN ONE EAR. 348 00:16:24,114 --> 00:16:26,755 GO... GO ON THE INTERNET. CHECK IT OUT YOURSELF. 349 00:16:26,756 --> 00:16:30,089 YOU KNOW, JIM, HE HEARD YOU. HE JUST DIDN'T SAY YES, 350 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:33,022 WHICH MEANS I AM RIGHT. 351 00:16:33,023 --> 00:16:34,993 IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE RIGHT, CHERYL. 352 00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,665 OH, YEAH? THEN WHY AM I DANCIN', JIM? 353 00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:38,327 WHY AM I DANCIN'? STOP THAT. 354 00:16:38,328 --> 00:16:39,598 HUH? STOP THAT. NOW... 355 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,600 NOW YOU'RE... YOU'RE... YOU'RE RUBBIN' IT... WHOO! 356 00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,672 MR. ESTRADA! MR. ESTRADA! 357 00:16:43,673 --> 00:16:46,035 WAIT A MINUTE, MR. ESTRADA! 358 00:16:46,036 --> 00:16:48,107 UNH! (Cheryl) JIM! 359 00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:51,340 HEY! HEY! DO YOU REMEMBER ME? 360 00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:52,481 (brakes screech) 361 00:16:52,482 --> 00:16:54,713 GET OFF MY CAR, LOCO! 362 00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:57,346 I WAS AT THE OLD ORCHARD MALL! 363 00:16:57,347 --> 00:17:01,720 I GAVE YOU DIRECTIONS! 364 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,122 AAH! MR. ESTRADA! 365 00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,054 OOH! UNH! 366 00:17:05,055 --> 00:17:07,056 GET OFF MY CAR, BUDDY! 367 00:17:07,057 --> 00:17:11,500 NO! YOU GAVE ME THE GUNS! 368 00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:13,532 JIM! GET OFF! 369 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,603 AAH! (brakes screech) 370 00:17:14,604 --> 00:17:20,170 OH! OH, GOD. 371 00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,775 MA'AM? 372 00:17:26,776 --> 00:17:28,077 YES? 373 00:17:28,078 --> 00:17:30,349 HE'LL BE OKAY, BUT HE MAY HAVE A CONCUSSION, 374 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:33,252 SO WE'LL BRING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL FOR OBSERVATION. 375 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,354 OH, THANKS. 376 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:40,359 HONEY, DID YOU HEAR THAT? YOU'RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL, 377 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,491 BUT I'M GONNA RIDE IN THE AMBULANCE WITH YOU. 378 00:17:42,492 --> 00:17:44,634 CHERYL, COME CLOSER. 379 00:17:46,396 --> 00:17:49,638 THIS PARKING LOT IS $10 AN HOUR. 380 00:17:49,639 --> 00:17:52,070 TAKE THE CAR... 381 00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,503 AND WHEN YOU GET TO THE HOSPITAL, 382 00:17:54,504 --> 00:17:56,345 PARK ON THE STREET. 383 00:17:56,346 --> 00:18:00,149 OKAY, BABY. 384 00:18:00,150 --> 00:18:02,851 HE'S BACK. 385 00:18:02,852 --> 00:18:04,283 USE THE METERS. YOU GOT COINS? 386 00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,286 YES, HONEY, I GOT COINS. 387 00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:13,622 IS HE GONNA BE OKAY? 388 00:18:13,623 --> 00:18:15,424 HI. 389 00:18:15,425 --> 00:18:19,128 IS HE GONNA BE OKAY... YOUR HUSBAND? 390 00:18:19,129 --> 00:18:22,601 OH... OH, HIM. OH, YES. HE'S GONNA BE FINE. 391 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,434 OH, THAT'S GREAT. LISTEN, I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS. 392 00:18:25,435 --> 00:18:27,136 OH. 393 00:18:27,137 --> 00:18:29,408 DO I KNOW YOU? 394 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:33,682 UH, NO, NO, I-I DON'T... I DON'T THINK SO. NO. 395 00:18:33,683 --> 00:18:35,814 WAIT A MINUTE. I KNOW. 396 00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,787 YOU GAVE ME DIRECTIONS ONCE. 397 00:18:38,788 --> 00:18:40,549 NO, NO, NO, I-I DON'T... YOU SEE, 398 00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:43,422 I-I JUST MOVED TO THIS COUNTRY. I JUST LEARNED ENGLISH. 399 00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,424 I-I MEAN, THE ENGLISH. 400 00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:47,426 YOU WERE WITH SOME GUY. 401 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,860 HE GAVE ME DIRECTIONS TO OLD ORCHARD MALL. 402 00:18:52,902 --> 00:18:55,464 O-OKAY, OKAY, W-WHAT IS A STAR LIKE YOU 403 00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:57,306 DOING GOING TO THE MALL? 404 00:18:57,307 --> 00:18:59,808 IT WAS MY NEPHEW'S GRADUATION. 405 00:18:59,809 --> 00:19:02,711 I BOUGHT HIM SOME PLACEMATS. 406 00:19:02,712 --> 00:19:05,914 OF COURSE, YOU DID. 407 00:19:05,915 --> 00:19:07,316 YEAH, THEY WERE PRETTY FUNNY. 408 00:19:07,317 --> 00:19:10,279 USUALLY, THEY DON'T LET YOU DO PICTURES OF YOUR BUTT, 409 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:14,254 BUT... (clicks tongue) I'M ERIK ESTRADA. 410 00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,888 YOU GOT TO SPEAK TO ERIK ESTRADA? YEAH. 411 00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:22,561 DID HE SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THE OLD ORCHARD MALL? 412 00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:25,164 NEVER BEEN THERE. 413 00:19:28,698 --> 00:19:33,302 WOW. I MUST BE... 414 00:19:33,303 --> 00:19:35,674 WRONG. 415 00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,707 YEAH. WELL, BUT HONEY, LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE. 416 00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:40,949 NOW WE CAN REALLY LET IT GO. 417 00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:43,212 SO I'LL JUST WRITE IT DOWN IN THE BOOK, 418 00:19:43,213 --> 00:19:46,185 AND WE CAN GET ON WITH OUR LIVES. 419 00:19:47,757 --> 00:19:49,559 ERIK! 420 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,193 HEY, BUDDY. 421 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,896 I JUST BROUGHT YOU THESE FLOWERS TO SAY THAT I'M SORRY 422 00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,968 AND THAT YOU SHOULDN'T TRY TO SUE ME, 423 00:19:59,969 --> 00:20:02,931 BECAUSE MY LAWYERS ARE BETTER THAN YOURS. 424 00:20:02,932 --> 00:20:04,933 I'M NOT GONNA SUE ANYBODY. 425 00:20:04,934 --> 00:20:08,377 LOOK, YOU JUMP ON A MOVING CAR, YOU TAKE YOUR CHANCES. 426 00:20:08,378 --> 00:20:10,379 AND THANK YOU FOR STOPPIN' BY, 427 00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,341 BUT JIM REALLY NEEDS HIS REST. 428 00:20:12,342 --> 00:20:13,882 SO IF YOU WANNA JUST GO, GO, GO. 429 00:20:13,883 --> 00:20:15,884 HEY, CONGRATS ON MARRYIN' UP. 430 00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:19,918 WHEN WE FIRST MET, I DIDN'T THINK YOU HAD A SHOT. 431 00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,620 I'LL BE SEEIN' YOU. 432 00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,952 PONCH, FREEZE! 433 00:20:27,857 --> 00:20:30,999 WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY "WHEN WE FIRST MET"? 434 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,564 TEN YEARS AGO. YOU GAVE ME DIRECTIONS TO OLD ORCHARD MALL. 435 00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:41,510 THANKS, BY THE WAY. THOSE DIRECTIONS WERE PERFECT. 436 00:20:41,511 --> 00:20:45,714 NO, THANK YOU, MR. ESTRADA. 437 00:20:45,715 --> 00:20:53,715 THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH. IT'S SO TASTY! 438 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,986 HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, ONE MORE QUESTION. 439 00:20:57,987 --> 00:21:01,460 YOU KNOW THAT COFFEE SHOP THAT'S DOWN ON ROOSEVELT? 440 00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:04,694 OH, YEAH, THE ONE THAT USED TO BE THE CHINESE LAUNDRY. 441 00:21:08,938 --> 00:21:11,900 WHAT AM I DOIN', CHERYL? CHERYL, WHAT AM I DOIN'? 442 00:21:11,901 --> 00:21:13,872 I'M DANCIN', CHERYL. 443 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,844 I'M DANCIN'! 444 00:21:15,845 --> 00:21:17,846 (clicks tongue) 445 00:21:17,847 --> 00:21:20,579 ("CHiPs" theme song playing) 446 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,382 (clicks tongue) 29995

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