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1
00:00:01,402 --> 00:00:03,603
ALL RIGHT. HONEY, ARE... ARE
YOU SURE YOU'RE OKAY
2
00:00:03,604 --> 00:00:05,605
PLAYING A BOARD GAME
INSTEAD OF WATCHING SPORTS?
3
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,607
HONEY, THEY HAVE PLAYOFFS
EVERY YEAR.
4
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:08,778
YEAH.
5
00:00:08,779 --> 00:00:11,211
BESIDES, YOU GIRLS DO PLENTY
FOR US. AM I RIGHT?
6
00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:12,482
IT'S SO TRUE.
OH.
7
00:00:12,483 --> 00:00:14,184
LET'S PLAY. COME ON.
8
00:00:14,185 --> 00:00:15,785
DANA, YOU'RE UP.
ALL RIGHT, UM...
9
00:00:15,786 --> 00:00:17,347
I GET THIS ONE, RIGHT?
(Ryan) YOU GOT IT.
10
00:00:17,348 --> 00:00:19,189
(Dana) YEAH. JIM.
I'M READY.
11
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:21,151
OKAY, "YOU ARE ON A PLANE.
12
00:00:21,152 --> 00:00:24,154
"AN ATTRACTIVE PASSENGER
OF THE OPPOSITE SEX OFFERS YOU
13
00:00:24,155 --> 00:00:26,156
"A NO-STRINGS-ATTACHED
INTIMATE ENCOUNTER."
14
00:00:26,157 --> 00:00:27,157
OH.
15
00:00:27,158 --> 00:00:31,102
"THERE IS NO WAY ANYONE
WILL EVER FIND OUT."
16
00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:36,266
DO YOU ACCEPT?
17
00:00:36,267 --> 00:00:37,537
ABSOLUTELY!
18
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,039
WHAT?
19
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,171
ABSOLUTELY.
20
00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:44,314
IF THE REF DON'T SEE IT,
IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
21
00:00:44,315 --> 00:00:45,645
OH, COME ON.
22
00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,377
NO, THAT'S THE TRUTH,
RIGHT? AMEN TO THAT.
23
00:00:47,378 --> 00:00:48,448
SEE THAT?
24
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,350
YOU, TOO?
OH, COME ON.
25
00:00:50,351 --> 00:00:53,123
IT'S SEX ON A PLANE.
THAT'S MY THING.
26
00:00:53,124 --> 00:00:54,354
YEAH!
27
00:00:54,355 --> 00:00:56,356
THAT'S DISGUSTING.
I CAN'T EVEN BE HERE FOR THIS.
28
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,358
I AM NOT PLAYING
THIS STUPID GAME ANYMORE.
29
00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,059
WHAT? COME ON.
(Ryan) GUYS.
30
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,061
I-I GOT THAT ONE RIGHT.
WE'RE WINNIN'.
31
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,564
I GOT FOUR POINTS.
32
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,566
OKAY, BACK TO THE REAL GAME.
33
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,798
YEAH.
34
00:01:09,500 --> 00:01:12,503
♪♪♪
35
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:21,211
DO AN ARABESQUE
LIKE WE SHOWED YOU.
36
00:01:21,212 --> 00:01:24,214
WHY? IT'S YOUR STUPID
BALLET RECITAL.
37
00:01:24,215 --> 00:01:26,216
BUT OUR TEACHER SAID
THE BEST WAY TO LEARN
38
00:01:26,217 --> 00:01:29,088
IS TO TEACH SOMEBODY ELSE.
THEN TEACH KYLE.
39
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,621
BOYS DON'T DANCE.
40
00:01:31,622 --> 00:01:34,165
FINE.
41
00:01:37,368 --> 00:01:41,772
LUCKY FOR YOU, I JUST CAME
FROM MY HIP-HOP CLASS.
42
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:49,409
(camera shutter clicks)
43
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:52,443
HEY! GIVE ME THAT!
44
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,516
NO, CHERYL, NO.
45
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,519
IT WAS A CHINESE LAUNDRY.
THEN IT WAS A COFFEE SHOP.
46
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,820
NO, JIM.
47
00:02:00,821 --> 00:02:02,522
IT WAS A MEXICAN RESTAURANT.
48
00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:03,823
WE HAD A FIGHT THERE
49
00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:05,825
BECAUSE YOU KEPT SAYING
"FELIZ NAVIDAD"
50
00:02:05,826 --> 00:02:07,527
WAS THE MEXICAN
NATIONAL ANTHEM.
51
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,128
NO, CHERYL.
52
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,530
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOIN' HOME
SO EARLY?
53
00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:13,533
WHY ARE YOU
DRESSED LIKE THAT?
54
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:17,208
'CAUSE MY MILK SHAKE BRINGS
ALL THE GIRLS TO THE YARD.
55
00:02:21,272 --> 00:02:23,443
WE'RE HOME EARLY BECAUSE
WE MISSED THE MOVIE
56
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,445
BECAUSE THIS ONE
INSISTED ON STOPPING
57
00:02:25,446 --> 00:02:27,417
AT THE COFFEE SHOP
ON ROOSEVELT
58
00:02:27,418 --> 00:02:29,419
TO ASK IF IT USED
TO BE A CHINESE LAUNDRY.
59
00:02:29,420 --> 00:02:30,420
IT WAS.
60
00:02:30,421 --> 00:02:32,782
IT WAS NOT.
IT WAS A MEXICAN RESTAURANT.
61
00:02:32,783 --> 00:02:33,783
CHINESE LAUNDRY!
62
00:02:33,784 --> 00:02:35,154
OH, GOD.
63
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,657
IT'S THE ERIK ESTRADA STORY
ALL OVER AGAIN.
64
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,429
ANDREW!
65
00:02:39,430 --> 00:02:41,462
WE DO NOT SAY THAT NAME
IN THIS HOUSE.
66
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,335
WHAT'S THE ERIK
ESTRADA STORY? OH.
67
00:02:45,336 --> 00:02:47,897
I'M GLAD YOU ASKED, RYAN.
(Dana) OH, GOD.
68
00:02:47,898 --> 00:02:51,501
I'M GONNA NEED BOOZE
FOR THIS.
69
00:02:51,502 --> 00:02:53,903
IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL
SPRING EVENING,
70
00:02:53,904 --> 00:02:57,377
AND MY LOVE AND I WERE WALKING
HAND IN HAND DOWN THE STREET.
71
00:02:57,378 --> 00:03:00,810
SUDDENLY, A CAR PULLED UP,
THE WINDOW ROLLED DOWN
72
00:03:00,811 --> 00:03:03,353
AND A FAMOUS FACE APPEARED.
73
00:03:03,354 --> 00:03:05,715
JIM, IF YOU'RE
GOIN' FOR SUSPENSE HERE,
74
00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:08,659
YOU SHOULDN'T CALL IT
THE "ERIK ESTRADA STORY."
75
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,293
IT WAS JUST SOME GUY
WITH NICE HAIR AND A BIG SMILE.
76
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:16,696
NOT FAMOUS,
NOT ERIK ESTRADA.
77
00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,898
DON'T YOU THINK I WOULD KNOW
IF IT WAS ERIK ESTRADA?
78
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:22,402
I WATCHED EVERY SINGLE
ONE OF THOSE "CHiPs" EPISODES,
79
00:03:22,403 --> 00:03:26,205
AND IF FRANK "PONCH" PONCHERELLO
ASKED ME
80
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,207
FOR DIRECTIONS
TO THE OLD ORCHARD MALL,
81
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:31,210
BY GOD, I'M GONNA KNOW HIM!
82
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,342
OH!
83
00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:33,983
JIM, PONCH WAS
A HIGHWAY PATROL OFFICER.
84
00:03:33,984 --> 00:03:36,215
IF HE NEEDED DIRECTIONS
TO THE MALL,
85
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,687
ALL HE HAD TO DO
WAS CALL INTO DISPATCH.
86
00:03:37,688 --> 00:03:39,389
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
"HEY, IT'S PONCH.
87
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:41,852
"WHERE'S THE MALL? I GOTTA FIND
THE MALL. WHERE AM I GOIN'?"
88
00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:47,397
JIM, WHY WOULD ERIK ESTRADA
89
00:03:47,398 --> 00:03:49,929
WANT TO GO
TO THE OLD ORCHARD MALL, HUH?
90
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,731
HMM, LET ME THINK.
91
00:03:51,732 --> 00:03:54,864
TO BUY SOMETHING.
OH!
92
00:03:54,865 --> 00:03:56,866
THEY DO HAVE THAT STORE
"JUST PLACEMATS"
93
00:03:56,867 --> 00:03:59,339
THAT SELLS JUST PLACEMATS.
94
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,341
I SEE. SO ERIK ESTRADA
95
00:04:01,342 --> 00:04:03,913
IS GOING TO THE MALL
TO BUY PLACEMATS.
96
00:04:03,914 --> 00:04:06,245
HONEY, MAYBE
HE WAS RESEARCHING A ROLE.
97
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,879
YEAH, YEAH, ABOUT A GUY
WHO NEEDS PLACEMATS. OH.
98
00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:12,752
NO, THEY CUSTOM MAKE 'EM.
YOU JUST GIVE 'EM A PHOTO,
99
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:14,253
BUT NOT ANY PHOTO.
100
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,755
THEY HAVE RULES.
101
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:18,528
ANYWAY,
SO ERIK SAYS TO ME...
102
00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:22,332
NOT ERIK! SOME GUY.
103
00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:24,994
AND WELCOME TO THE LAST
TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE.
104
00:04:24,995 --> 00:04:27,367
TEN YEARS?
MM-HMM.
105
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,369
COME ON. YOU GUYS NEED
TO LET IT GO.
106
00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:32,041
OHH, RIGHT.
107
00:04:32,042 --> 00:04:34,043
"LET IT GO"?
108
00:04:34,044 --> 00:04:36,946
"LET IT GO," YOU SAY,
YOUNG RYAN?
109
00:04:36,947 --> 00:04:38,648
NO!
110
00:04:38,649 --> 00:04:40,650
I'M NOT GONNA
LET THIS ONE GO.
111
00:04:40,651 --> 00:04:42,652
YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE I CAN WIN THIS ONE.
112
00:04:42,653 --> 00:04:44,654
IT'S A TRUE OR FALSE.
113
00:04:44,655 --> 00:04:47,657
IF IT WAS AN ESSAY QUESTION,
114
00:04:47,658 --> 00:04:49,419
I'D LET IT GO.
115
00:04:49,420 --> 00:04:51,421
BECAUSE WHEN MEN AND WOMEN
DEBATE
116
00:04:51,422 --> 00:04:53,423
OVER EMOTIONS OR OPINIONS,
117
00:04:53,424 --> 00:04:56,426
THAT'S AN ESSAY QUESTION,
AND GUYS ALWAYS LOSE.
118
00:04:56,427 --> 00:04:58,868
WHY DO WE LOSE, YOU SAY?
119
00:04:58,869 --> 00:05:01,000
BECAUSE WOMEN
TRY TO CONFUSE YOU
120
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:03,373
WITH THEIR FEELINGS
AND THEIR TRICKY DEVIL WORDS.
121
00:05:03,374 --> 00:05:05,375
YEAH.
122
00:05:05,376 --> 00:05:07,377
WE LEARN THEM AT CAMP
123
00:05:07,378 --> 00:05:09,879
IN BETWEEN PILLOW FIGHTS
AND KISSING PRACTICE.
124
00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,882
BUT WHEN IT COMES DOWN TO FACTS
OR RIGHT OR WRONG,
125
00:05:12,883 --> 00:05:15,515
MAN MUST STAND BY THE TRUTH.
126
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,787
GALILEO DID IT.
ISAAC NEWTON DID IT.
127
00:05:17,788 --> 00:05:19,790
JIM'S GONNA DO IT.
128
00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:24,694
I GAVE ERIK ESTRADA DIRECTIONS
TO THE OLD ORCHARD MALL,
129
00:05:24,695 --> 00:05:27,998
AND HE GAVE ME THE GUNS.
130
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:33,663
IT WAS NOT ERIK ESTRADA,
AND IT WAS THE THUMB'S UP!
131
00:05:33,664 --> 00:05:34,904
GUNS!
THUMBS UP!
132
00:05:34,905 --> 00:05:36,666
GUNS! (clicks tongue)
THUMBS UP!
133
00:05:36,667 --> 00:05:38,668
(arguing continues) ISN'T IT SWEET?
AFTER 15 YEARS, THEY STILL HAVEN'T
134
00:05:38,669 --> 00:05:40,670
RUN OUT OF POINTLESS CRAP
TO FIGHT ABOUT.
135
00:05:40,671 --> 00:05:41,871
LET'S BE LIKE THEM.
136
00:05:41,872 --> 00:05:43,413
LET'S NOT.
137
00:05:43,414 --> 00:05:46,517
OH! BABY.
OH!
138
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:53,623
JIM, BIG NEWS.
YEAH?
139
00:05:53,624 --> 00:05:55,585
GUESS WHAT I LEARNED
ON THE INTERNET LAST NIGHT?
140
00:05:55,586 --> 00:05:57,587
OH, ANDY,
THOSE ARE SUGAR PILLS.
141
00:05:57,588 --> 00:05:59,359
IT'S NOT GONNA
GET ANY BIGGER.
142
00:06:00,991 --> 00:06:03,463
TALK TO ME IN THREE WEEKS.
143
00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:05,895
BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN.
144
00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:08,738
I WENT ON TO AN OFFICIAL
ERIK ESTRADA FAN SITE.
145
00:06:08,739 --> 00:06:11,901
OH, OH! DID IT SAY
HE WAS AT THE OLD ORCHARD MALL?
146
00:06:11,902 --> 00:06:14,444
NO, IT DIDN'T LIST
ALL THE MALLS HE'S BEEN TO,
147
00:06:14,445 --> 00:06:16,446
BUT IT DID SAY
THAT HE'S IN TOWN RIGHT NOW.
148
00:06:16,447 --> 00:06:18,448
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
HE'S DOIN', LIKE,
149
00:06:18,449 --> 00:06:21,651
A CHARITY POKER TOURNAMENT
ON A RIVERBOAT DOWN IN JOLIET.
150
00:06:21,652 --> 00:06:25,014
OH, THIS IS GOIN' ON
RIGHT NOW... TODAY.
151
00:06:25,015 --> 00:06:26,516
WE GOTTA GET DOWN THERE.
152
00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:28,888
I'M GONNA PROVE TO CHERYL
ONCE AND FOR ALL SHE'S WRONG!
153
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,861
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHAT
ABOUT THE GIRLS' BALLET RECITAL?
154
00:06:31,862 --> 00:06:34,524
BALLET RECITAL?
THEY HAD ONE A MONTH AGO.
155
00:06:34,525 --> 00:06:36,866
THAT WAS A YEAR AGO...
AND IT'S TONIGHT.
156
00:06:36,867 --> 00:06:38,828
YOU THINK WE'LL MAKE IT
BACK IN TIME?
157
00:06:38,829 --> 00:06:39,869
LISTEN,
I GOTTA TAKE THAT CHANCE.
158
00:06:39,870 --> 00:06:41,871
AND THROUGH
THE MAGIC OF VIDEOTAPE,
159
00:06:41,872 --> 00:06:45,905
MR. HENRY ENRIQUE ESTRADA
IS GONNA TELL CHERYL
160
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,478
THAT SHE IS WRONG,
WRONG, WRONG.
161
00:06:48,479 --> 00:06:50,510
OH, HEY, AND I'LL GET HIM
TO RECORD
162
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,813
A NEW OUTGOING
CELL PHONE MESSAGE.
163
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,685
WHAT'S THE MATTER,
164
00:06:55,686 --> 00:06:57,687
YOUR SNOOP DOGG'S
NOT WORKIN' NO MORE?
165
00:06:57,688 --> 00:07:01,190
LEAVE A MIZZLE AT THE TIZZLE.
166
00:07:01,191 --> 00:07:03,894
COME ON, LET'S GO.
167
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:09,499
THERE HE IS.
168
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:11,431
(Andy) OH, WOW.
169
00:07:15,906 --> 00:07:19,839
OH, JIM, TO WALK IN THAT MAN'S
SHOES FOR ONE DAY.
170
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:20,840
YEAH.
171
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,842
THE STORIES, THE DELIGHTS...
172
00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:26,015
OH, THE WOMEN, JIM.
OH, GOD, THE WOMEN.
173
00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:28,017
SETTLE DOWN, ANDY.
174
00:07:28,018 --> 00:07:30,680
WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER
NEIL DIAMOND INCIDENT HERE.
175
00:07:30,681 --> 00:07:32,922
WELL, I WANTED TO SEE
IF HIS SHIRT WAS MADE OF SILK.
176
00:07:32,923 --> 00:07:35,886
SO YOU ASK HIM,
YOU DON'T HUG HIM.
177
00:07:37,988 --> 00:07:39,930
COME ON.
178
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,833
HI, PLAYERS.
HI.
179
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,234
ARE YOU REGISTERED
FOR THE TOURNAMENT?
180
00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:48,137
ARE WE REGISTERED
FOR THE TOURNAMENT?
181
00:07:48,138 --> 00:07:49,138
(laughs)
182
00:07:49,139 --> 00:07:52,772
COME ON.
WE REGISTERED EARLY.
183
00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,974
WE'RE PROBABLY THE FIRST
TWO NAMES ON THE LIST.
184
00:07:54,975 --> 00:08:00,880
OKAY, SO YOU'RE SUNITI PONNURU
AND EVELYN CHEN?
185
00:08:00,881 --> 00:08:06,056
YEAH. I'M PROBABLY
THE FIRST ONE.
186
00:08:07,918 --> 00:08:10,590
LOOK, I JUST NEED TO TALK
TO MR. ESTRADA FOR TWO MINUTES.
187
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:14,624
AND BY THE WAY, YOU LOOK
VERY FETCHING IN THAT VEST
188
00:08:14,625 --> 00:08:16,626
AND STRAW BOATER.
189
00:08:16,627 --> 00:08:18,628
I'M SORRY. IF YOU HAVEN'T
ALREADY REGISTERED,
190
00:08:18,629 --> 00:08:20,630
THE ONLY WAY
TO PLAY WITH MR. ESTRADA
191
00:08:20,631 --> 00:08:22,902
IS TO WIN
THE SATELLITE TOURNAMENT.
192
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:25,575
WH-WHAT'S THE BUY IN?
193
00:08:25,576 --> 00:08:27,136
300 BUCKS.
194
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:28,908
SIGN ME UP.
195
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,109
WH-WHOA, WHOA.
196
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,712
ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT,
SUNITI?
197
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,585
THAT'S A LOT OF RUPEES.
198
00:08:35,586 --> 00:08:38,688
I MAY BREW TWO POTS OF COFFEE
WITH THE SAME GROUNDS,
199
00:08:38,689 --> 00:08:41,951
I MAY BUY MY SNOW TIRES
AT THE JUNKYARD,
200
00:08:41,952 --> 00:08:45,896
I MAY EVEN BUILD
MY OWN TOOTHBRUSHES...
201
00:08:46,957 --> 00:08:48,958
BUT TO PROVE CHERYL WRONG,
202
00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:52,932
$300... I COULD SPEND
IN A HEARTBEAT.
203
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:57,206
EVEN 350.
SO, EVELYN CHEN...
204
00:08:57,207 --> 00:09:03,944
MOVE TO THE SIDE,
BECAUSE I FEEL LUCKY TODAY!
205
00:09:08,579 --> 00:09:11,180
OUT 900 BUCKS
UNDER 2 DIFFERENT NAMES,
206
00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:13,883
AND I STILL DIDN'T
GET TO TALK TO ESTRADA.
207
00:09:13,884 --> 00:09:16,586
DID YOU SEE
THAT MAN'S HAIR, JIM?
208
00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:19,028
PICTURE ME
WITH ESTRADA'S HAIR.
209
00:09:19,029 --> 00:09:21,090
NO.
210
00:09:21,091 --> 00:09:24,193
THINK OF THE WOMEN I COULD PULL
WITH THAT RAVEN MANE.
211
00:09:24,194 --> 00:09:26,165
HEY, IF I HAD HIS HAIR
AND YOUR CALVES,
212
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,998
THEN THEY'D SEE.
THEY'D ALL SEE.
213
00:09:28,999 --> 00:09:31,741
HEY, HEY, HEY, BUDDY,
UH, CAN YOU GET SOMEONE
214
00:09:31,742 --> 00:09:33,843
TO BRING THIS BOAT
OVER TO THE DOCK THERE?
215
00:09:33,844 --> 00:09:35,845
I-I GOTTA GET
TO MY DAUGHTER'S RECITAL.
216
00:09:35,846 --> 00:09:38,007
IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT. I'M GONNA
BE LATE. YEAH, IT'S HIS LITTLE GIRLS'.
217
00:09:38,008 --> 00:09:39,709
I'M SORRY, SIR.
218
00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:41,711
STATE LAW ONLY ALLOWS GAMBLING
WHEN WE'RE CRUISING.
219
00:09:41,712 --> 00:09:44,083
WE ONLY DOCK AT THE TOP OF EVERY
HOUR TO LET PEOPLE ON AND OFF.
220
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:47,286
HEY, ANDY,
CAN YOU GREASE HIM?
221
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,660
YOU WANT ME TO KILL HIM?
222
00:09:50,661 --> 00:09:51,991
BRIBE HIM!
223
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:56,627
SORRY, I SPENT 129 BUCKS
ON THIS BOATER.
224
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,231
I'M BROKE AND LATE.
225
00:10:02,232 --> 00:10:05,935
YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S ABOUT 10 FEET.
226
00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:08,037
I THINK WE CAN MAKE IT.
227
00:10:08,038 --> 00:10:10,039
WHOA. JIM, JIM,
I DON'T KNOW.
228
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,041
GRAVITY IS NOT MY FRIEND.
229
00:10:12,042 --> 00:10:14,043
YEAH, WELL,
MY MIGHTY CALVES
230
00:10:14,044 --> 00:10:16,315
ARE STRONG ENOUGH
FOR THE BOTH OF US.
231
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,217
ONE, TWO, THREE...
232
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,288
AAH!
AAH!
233
00:10:19,289 --> 00:10:22,292
("CHiPs" theme song playing)
234
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,799
(classical music playing)
235
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,135
WHERE THE HELL
ARE JIM AND ANDY?
236
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,137
(sighs) WHO KNOWS?
237
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:40,139
THEY PROBABLY FOUND
AN OLD REFRIGERATOR BOX
238
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,141
AND DECIDED TO PLAY FORT.
239
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:47,777
MAN, IF THEY'RE PLAYIN' FORT
AND I'M STUCK AT THIS RECITAL...
240
00:10:47,778 --> 00:10:49,348
(water sloshing)
241
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,950
(whispering) CHERYL?
242
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,423
CHERYL?
243
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,930
(Andy) AHEM.
244
00:11:00,931 --> 00:11:03,262
SORRY WE'RE LATE.
245
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:07,436
IT'S NOT EVERY DAY
YOU SAVE A DROWNING BABY.
246
00:11:07,437 --> 00:11:10,669
OH, LOOK,
SHE LOOKS SO CUTE.
247
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,173
AAH! AAH.
248
00:11:14,805 --> 00:11:16,807
(Andy) HEY. SHH.
249
00:11:21,211 --> 00:11:25,685
SO WHAT WAS THE BABY DOING
IN THE FROZEN POND?
250
00:11:27,718 --> 00:11:30,360
THAT'S A QUESTION
FOR THE PARENTS.
251
00:11:31,962 --> 00:11:34,193
AND WHERE WERE THE PARENTS?
252
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:39,069
I DON'T KNOW.
PROBABLY AT THE BOTTOM...
253
00:11:41,732 --> 00:11:44,934
IN THE CAR.
254
00:11:44,935 --> 00:11:48,738
JIM, THIS IS THE WORST LIE
YOU'VE EVER TOLD ME.
255
00:11:48,739 --> 00:11:53,212
OH, PIRATES ON LAKE MICHIGAN
WAS MUCH WORSE.
256
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,845
WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON?
257
00:11:55,846 --> 00:11:59,388
ALL RIGHT. ERIK ESTRADA WAS
PLAYIN' POKER ON A RIVERBOAT.
258
00:11:59,389 --> 00:12:04,954
I LOST 900 BUCKS,
I ENDED UP IN THE RIVER...
259
00:12:04,955 --> 00:12:07,296
YOU CONNECT THE DOTS.
260
00:12:07,297 --> 00:12:11,730
WILL I BE HEARING
FROM THE POLICE TONIGHT?
261
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,263
EH, SOMETIMES,
THEY CHECK FAKE NAMES,
262
00:12:14,264 --> 00:12:16,265
SOMETIMES, THEY DON'T.
263
00:12:16,266 --> 00:12:21,040
JIM, ALL THIS JUST TO MEET
ERIK ESTRADA?
264
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,142
AGAIN, CHERYL.
265
00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:27,316
MEET HIM AGAIN.
266
00:12:27,317 --> 00:12:29,148
WOULD YOU JUST ADMIT IT?
267
00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:32,051
YOU'RE ADDICTED TO BEING RIGHT.
NO, YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS, CHERYL.
268
00:12:32,052 --> 00:12:34,954
OF WHAT? OF ME BEING
RIGHT MORE THAN YOU.
269
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:35,955
OH.
YEAH.
270
00:12:35,956 --> 00:12:37,957
COME ON.
OH, IS THAT SO?
271
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,959
YES, THAT'S SO. SO?
OH, THAT'S VERY INTERESTING.
272
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,292
THEN WHY DO I HAVE A BOOK FILLED
WITH DETAILED DESCRIPTIONS,
273
00:12:43,293 --> 00:12:46,295
INCLUDING PHOTOS, RECEIPTS,
AND SIGNED AFFIDAVITS,
274
00:12:46,296 --> 00:12:49,538
OF EVERY TIME
YOU HAVE EVER BEEN WRONG?
275
00:12:49,539 --> 00:12:52,101
WHAT?
276
00:12:52,102 --> 00:12:53,903
OH, YEAH, JIM. OH, YEAH.
I WRITE IT ALL DOWN,
277
00:12:53,904 --> 00:12:57,077
BECAUSE I KNEW
THIS DAY WAS COMIN'.
278
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,249
HOW FAR DOES THIS GO BACK?
279
00:13:00,250 --> 00:13:01,982
ALL THE WAY, BABY!
280
00:13:05,515 --> 00:13:07,516
OUR FIRST DATE?
281
00:13:07,517 --> 00:13:13,192
YES, JIM. PAULY SHORE
IS NOT A BEACH IN NEW JERSEY.
282
00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,524
"THE THIRD DATE...
JIM INSISTS
283
00:13:15,525 --> 00:13:19,298
"THAT JOAN OF ARC
WAS MARRIED TO NOAH."
284
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,800
SHE WAS!
285
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,132
SHE WAS NOT!
286
00:13:23,133 --> 00:13:25,804
THEN WHY DID THEY HAVE
THE SAME LAST NAME?
287
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,537
YOU SEE? YOU SEE? THIS IS WHY
I HAVE TO WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN,
288
00:13:28,538 --> 00:13:30,539
TO PROVE I'M NOT CRAZY.
289
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:32,842
OH, OH, "THE GIANT BOOK
OF JIM'S WRONGS"
290
00:13:32,843 --> 00:13:36,045
PROVES THAT YOU'RE NOT CRAZY?
291
00:13:36,046 --> 00:13:38,047
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, IT DOES.
IT DOES, JIM.
292
00:13:38,048 --> 00:13:39,989
YOU KNOW WHY? YOU KNOW WHY?
293
00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:41,991
'CAUSE WHEN YOU'RE WRONG,
IT MEANS I'M RIGHT.
294
00:13:41,992 --> 00:13:43,994
AND IT'S TASTY, JIM,
IT'S REAL TASTY.
295
00:13:52,362 --> 00:13:54,333
OKAY, WELL...
296
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:58,107
I SEE WHERE MAYBE WE BOTH
MAY HAVE A LITTLE PROBLEM.
297
00:13:58,108 --> 00:14:01,540
(sighs) AH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE BOTH HAVE TO BE RIGHT.
298
00:14:01,541 --> 00:14:04,443
WE CAN'T EVER
LET ANYTHING GO.
299
00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,245
YOU KNOW
WHAT'S SAD ABOUT IT?
300
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,376
HUH?
301
00:14:07,377 --> 00:14:09,378
I DON'T EVEN REALLY LIKE
BEING RIGHT ANYMORE.
302
00:14:09,379 --> 00:14:11,380
IT'S MORE LIKE A HABIT.
303
00:14:11,381 --> 00:14:16,625
I DON'T KNOW.
I STILL LIKE IT.
304
00:14:16,626 --> 00:14:22,231
OH. WE HAVE TO CHANGE, JIM.
WE HAVE TO.
305
00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:25,194
NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
WE SHOULD CHANGE.
306
00:14:25,195 --> 00:14:27,296
(sighs)
YOU KNOW WHAT?
307
00:14:27,297 --> 00:14:29,038
WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER.
308
00:14:29,039 --> 00:14:32,041
LET'S HELP EACH OTHER
TO LEARN TO LET GO.
309
00:14:32,042 --> 00:14:35,574
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
310
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:39,008
THE ERIK ESTRADA STORY
IS OVER.
311
00:14:39,009 --> 00:14:41,150
OH. OKAY.
312
00:14:41,151 --> 00:14:45,054
UNLESS...
313
00:14:45,055 --> 00:14:49,318
YOU WANNA GO DOWN TO HIS HOTEL
AND FIND OUT FOR SURE.
314
00:14:49,319 --> 00:14:51,360
IT'S A GREAT IDEA.
315
00:14:51,361 --> 00:14:53,022
YOU KNOW WHAT?
WE'LL TAKE ELM STREET
316
00:14:53,023 --> 00:14:54,994
'CAUSE MAIN
IS FULL OF CONSTRUCTION.
317
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,996
NO, NO, NO, MAIN IS CLEAR.
318
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,998
IT'S PINE THAT'S GOT
THE CONSTRUCTION.
319
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,529
I'M BRINGIN' THE BOOK!
320
00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:04,304
FINE, FINE. BRING THE BOOK.
YOU CAN BRING THE BOOK.
321
00:15:15,045 --> 00:15:17,546
ARE YOU SURE
THIS IS ERIK ESTRADA'S CAR?
322
00:15:17,547 --> 00:15:20,249
YEAH, I GREASED
THE PARKING ATTENDANT.
323
00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,221
YOU KILLED HIM?
324
00:15:22,222 --> 00:15:24,995
I PAID HIM OFF!
325
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:29,698
LOOK, LOOK, HONEY,
HE HAS A PINE AIR FRESHENER.
326
00:15:29,699 --> 00:15:33,232
NO, NO, THAT'S JASMINE.
327
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,533
THAT'S PINE.
328
00:15:34,534 --> 00:15:36,365
IT'S JASMINE.
I CAN SMELL IT FROM HERE.
329
00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:39,168
OH, YOU CAN'T SMELL JASMINE. IT
SMELLS LIKE THE CHINESE LAUNDRY
330
00:15:39,169 --> 00:15:41,140
THAT'S NOW A COFFEE SHOP.
331
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:43,042
THAT IS RIDICULOUS.
332
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:44,713
IF ANYTHING, IT SMELLS
LIKE A PINE FOREST...
333
00:15:44,714 --> 00:15:46,615
CHERYL, CHERYL,
LOOK, LOOK, LOOK! OH.
334
00:15:46,616 --> 00:15:50,379
MR. ESTRADA, MR. ESTRADA...
WE HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU.
335
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:53,052
YEAH, JUST ONE QUESTION. NO, NO,
NO, LOOK, I DON'T HAVE ANY CHANGE.
336
00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:55,054
(Cheryl) NO, NO, NO, IT'S
NOT THAT. NO, IT'S NOT THAT.
337
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,056
WERE YOU EVER
AT THE OLD ORCHARD MALL?
338
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,358
REALLY, I GOTTA RUN.
TAKE CARE. NO, NO, NO!
339
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:01,960
IT WAS ABOUT TEN YEARS AGO!
TEN YEARS AGO! REMEMBER ME?
340
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,962
TEN YEARS AGO!
REMEMBER ME? I ASKED YOU...
341
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,997
I GAVE YOU DIRECTIONS!
WAIT, MR. ESTRADA!
342
00:16:07,998 --> 00:16:11,240
MR. ESTRA... HENRY!
343
00:16:11,241 --> 00:16:14,043
OH, THIS CLOSE!
344
00:16:14,044 --> 00:16:16,005
WE WEREN'T CLOSE, JIM.
YES, WE WERE!
345
00:16:16,006 --> 00:16:20,149
WE'RE DONE. IT'S SETTLED.
HE DOESN'T REMEMBER YOU.
346
00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:22,151
HE DIDN'T HEAR ME, CHERYL.
OH, COME ON.
347
00:16:22,152 --> 00:16:24,113
HE IS DEAF IN ONE EAR.
348
00:16:24,114 --> 00:16:26,755
GO... GO ON THE INTERNET.
CHECK IT OUT YOURSELF.
349
00:16:26,756 --> 00:16:30,089
YOU KNOW, JIM, HE HEARD YOU.
HE JUST DIDN'T SAY YES,
350
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:33,022
WHICH MEANS I AM RIGHT.
351
00:16:33,023 --> 00:16:34,993
IT DOESN'T MEAN
YOU'RE RIGHT, CHERYL.
352
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,665
OH, YEAH?
THEN WHY AM I DANCIN', JIM?
353
00:16:36,666 --> 00:16:38,327
WHY AM I DANCIN'?
STOP THAT.
354
00:16:38,328 --> 00:16:39,598
HUH?
STOP THAT. NOW...
355
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,600
NOW YOU'RE... YOU'RE...
YOU'RE RUBBIN' IT... WHOO!
356
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,672
MR. ESTRADA! MR. ESTRADA!
357
00:16:43,673 --> 00:16:46,035
WAIT A MINUTE,
MR. ESTRADA!
358
00:16:46,036 --> 00:16:48,107
UNH!
(Cheryl) JIM!
359
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:51,340
HEY! HEY!
DO YOU REMEMBER ME?
360
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:52,481
(brakes screech)
361
00:16:52,482 --> 00:16:54,713
GET OFF MY CAR, LOCO!
362
00:16:54,714 --> 00:16:57,346
I WAS
AT THE OLD ORCHARD MALL!
363
00:16:57,347 --> 00:17:01,720
I GAVE YOU DIRECTIONS!
364
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,122
AAH! MR. ESTRADA!
365
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:05,054
OOH! UNH!
366
00:17:05,055 --> 00:17:07,056
GET OFF MY CAR, BUDDY!
367
00:17:07,057 --> 00:17:11,500
NO! YOU GAVE ME THE GUNS!
368
00:17:11,501 --> 00:17:13,532
JIM! GET OFF!
369
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,603
AAH!
(brakes screech)
370
00:17:14,604 --> 00:17:20,170
OH! OH, GOD.
371
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:26,775
MA'AM?
372
00:17:26,776 --> 00:17:28,077
YES?
373
00:17:28,078 --> 00:17:30,349
HE'LL BE OKAY, BUT HE MAY HAVE
A CONCUSSION,
374
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:33,252
SO WE'LL BRING HIM
TO THE HOSPITAL FOR OBSERVATION.
375
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,354
OH, THANKS.
376
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:40,359
HONEY, DID YOU HEAR THAT?
YOU'RE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL,
377
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,491
BUT I'M GONNA RIDE
IN THE AMBULANCE WITH YOU.
378
00:17:42,492 --> 00:17:44,634
CHERYL, COME CLOSER.
379
00:17:46,396 --> 00:17:49,638
THIS PARKING LOT
IS $10 AN HOUR.
380
00:17:49,639 --> 00:17:52,070
TAKE THE CAR...
381
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,503
AND WHEN
YOU GET TO THE HOSPITAL,
382
00:17:54,504 --> 00:17:56,345
PARK ON THE STREET.
383
00:17:56,346 --> 00:18:00,149
OKAY, BABY.
384
00:18:00,150 --> 00:18:02,851
HE'S BACK.
385
00:18:02,852 --> 00:18:04,283
USE THE METERS.
YOU GOT COINS?
386
00:18:04,284 --> 00:18:06,286
YES, HONEY,
I GOT COINS.
387
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:13,622
IS HE GONNA BE OKAY?
388
00:18:13,623 --> 00:18:15,424
HI.
389
00:18:15,425 --> 00:18:19,128
IS HE GONNA BE OKAY...
YOUR HUSBAND?
390
00:18:19,129 --> 00:18:22,601
OH... OH, HIM. OH, YES.
HE'S GONNA BE FINE.
391
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,434
OH, THAT'S GREAT. LISTEN,
I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS.
392
00:18:25,435 --> 00:18:27,136
OH.
393
00:18:27,137 --> 00:18:29,408
DO I KNOW YOU?
394
00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:33,682
UH, NO, NO, I-I DON'T...
I DON'T THINK SO. NO.
395
00:18:33,683 --> 00:18:35,814
WAIT A MINUTE. I KNOW.
396
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,787
YOU GAVE ME DIRECTIONS ONCE.
397
00:18:38,788 --> 00:18:40,549
NO, NO, NO, I-I DON'T...
YOU SEE,
398
00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:43,422
I-I JUST MOVED TO THIS COUNTRY.
I JUST LEARNED ENGLISH.
399
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,424
I-I MEAN, THE ENGLISH.
400
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:47,426
YOU WERE WITH SOME GUY.
401
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,860
HE GAVE ME DIRECTIONS
TO OLD ORCHARD MALL.
402
00:18:52,902 --> 00:18:55,464
O-OKAY, OKAY,
W-WHAT IS A STAR LIKE YOU
403
00:18:55,465 --> 00:18:57,306
DOING GOING TO THE MALL?
404
00:18:57,307 --> 00:18:59,808
IT WAS
MY NEPHEW'S GRADUATION.
405
00:18:59,809 --> 00:19:02,711
I BOUGHT HIM
SOME PLACEMATS.
406
00:19:02,712 --> 00:19:05,914
OF COURSE, YOU DID.
407
00:19:05,915 --> 00:19:07,316
YEAH,
THEY WERE PRETTY FUNNY.
408
00:19:07,317 --> 00:19:10,279
USUALLY, THEY DON'T LET
YOU DO PICTURES OF YOUR BUTT,
409
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:14,254
BUT... (clicks tongue)
I'M ERIK ESTRADA.
410
00:19:18,258 --> 00:19:19,888
YOU GOT TO SPEAK TO
ERIK ESTRADA? YEAH.
411
00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:22,561
DID HE SAY ANYTHING
ABOUT THE OLD ORCHARD MALL?
412
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:25,164
NEVER BEEN THERE.
413
00:19:28,698 --> 00:19:33,302
WOW. I MUST BE...
414
00:19:33,303 --> 00:19:35,674
WRONG.
415
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:38,707
YEAH. WELL, BUT HONEY,
LOOK AT THE BRIGHT SIDE.
416
00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:40,949
NOW WE CAN REALLY LET IT GO.
417
00:19:40,950 --> 00:19:43,212
SO I'LL JUST WRITE IT DOWN
IN THE BOOK,
418
00:19:43,213 --> 00:19:46,185
AND WE CAN
GET ON WITH OUR LIVES.
419
00:19:47,757 --> 00:19:49,559
ERIK!
420
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,193
HEY, BUDDY.
421
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,896
I JUST BROUGHT YOU THESE FLOWERS
TO SAY THAT I'M SORRY
422
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,968
AND THAT YOU SHOULDN'T
TRY TO SUE ME,
423
00:19:59,969 --> 00:20:02,931
BECAUSE MY LAWYERS
ARE BETTER THAN YOURS.
424
00:20:02,932 --> 00:20:04,933
I'M NOT GONNA SUE ANYBODY.
425
00:20:04,934 --> 00:20:08,377
LOOK, YOU JUMP ON A MOVING CAR,
YOU TAKE YOUR CHANCES.
426
00:20:08,378 --> 00:20:10,379
AND THANK YOU
FOR STOPPIN' BY,
427
00:20:10,380 --> 00:20:12,341
BUT JIM
REALLY NEEDS HIS REST.
428
00:20:12,342 --> 00:20:13,882
SO IF YOU WANNA
JUST GO, GO, GO.
429
00:20:13,883 --> 00:20:15,884
HEY, CONGRATS
ON MARRYIN' UP.
430
00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:19,918
WHEN WE FIRST MET,
I DIDN'T THINK YOU HAD A SHOT.
431
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,620
I'LL BE SEEIN' YOU.
432
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:22,952
PONCH, FREEZE!
433
00:20:27,857 --> 00:20:30,999
WHAT DID YOU MEAN
BY "WHEN WE FIRST MET"?
434
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,564
TEN YEARS AGO. YOU GAVE ME
DIRECTIONS TO OLD ORCHARD MALL.
435
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:41,510
THANKS, BY THE WAY.
THOSE DIRECTIONS WERE PERFECT.
436
00:20:41,511 --> 00:20:45,714
NO, THANK YOU,
MR. ESTRADA.
437
00:20:45,715 --> 00:20:53,715
THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
IT'S SO TASTY!
438
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:57,986
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY,
ONE MORE QUESTION.
439
00:20:57,987 --> 00:21:01,460
YOU KNOW THAT COFFEE SHOP
THAT'S DOWN ON ROOSEVELT?
440
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:04,694
OH, YEAH, THE ONE THAT USED
TO BE THE CHINESE LAUNDRY.
441
00:21:08,938 --> 00:21:11,900
WHAT AM I DOIN', CHERYL?
CHERYL, WHAT AM I DOIN'?
442
00:21:11,901 --> 00:21:13,872
I'M DANCIN', CHERYL.
443
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,844
I'M DANCIN'!
444
00:21:15,845 --> 00:21:17,846
(clicks tongue)
445
00:21:17,847 --> 00:21:20,579
("CHiPs" theme song playing)
446
00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,382
(clicks tongue)
29995
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