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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,472
(TV playing, telephone rings)
2
00:00:02,473 --> 00:00:05,435
PHONE. CRAP!
3
00:00:05,436 --> 00:00:09,379
RIGHT WHEN JUDGE JUDY'S
ABOUT TO DROP THE HAMMER.
4
00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:10,780
CAN I GET IT?
5
00:00:10,781 --> 00:00:11,781
SURE.
6
00:00:11,782 --> 00:00:12,782
(ring)
7
00:00:12,783 --> 00:00:14,214
WHAT ARE THE RULES?
8
00:00:14,215 --> 00:00:16,686
YOU'RE NEVER IN THE BATHROOM,
YOU'RE IN A MEETING.
9
00:00:16,687 --> 00:00:19,289
(ring)
VERY GOOD.
10
00:00:19,290 --> 00:00:21,622
YOU TAKE A LOT OF MEETINGS,
DADDY.
11
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,126
JUST BE POLITE.
12
00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,697
HELLO. WHO IS IT, PLEASE?
13
00:00:27,698 --> 00:00:28,698
VERY GOOD.
14
00:00:28,699 --> 00:00:31,232
TAKE A HIKE, BUTTHEAD!
15
00:00:35,566 --> 00:00:36,766
WHO WAS THAT?
16
00:00:36,767 --> 00:00:40,340
UNCLE ANDY. FLAT TIRE.
BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.
17
00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:44,614
GOOD GIRL.
18
00:00:44,615 --> 00:00:52,615
♪♪♪
19
00:00:53,524 --> 00:00:57,827
CHERYL?! CHERYL?!
20
00:00:57,828 --> 00:01:00,059
YOU KNOW WHERE YOUR MOTHER IS?
21
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,061
SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO WASH
THESE PANTS.
22
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:04,165
PROBABLY YAPPING ON THE PHONE.
23
00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:10,069
YOU'RE COMING ALONG JUST FINE,
YOUNG MAN.
24
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:12,172
WE'LL WASH THEM FOR YOU,
DADDY.
25
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,444
REALLY? OH, YOU GUYS
ARE SWEET.
26
00:01:14,445 --> 00:01:15,645
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
27
00:01:15,646 --> 00:01:18,578
YOU CAN KEEP ANYTHING
YOU FIND IN THE POCKETS.
28
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:20,580
20 BUCKS!
29
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,112
WHAT?!
30
00:01:22,113 --> 00:01:24,684
WE'RE RICH!
LET'S GET AN APARTMENT!
31
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,557
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA,
WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!
32
00:01:27,558 --> 00:01:32,192
I-I FORGOT I PUT THAT IN THERE!
GIVE IT BACK! GIVE IT BACK!
33
00:01:32,193 --> 00:01:33,294
CRAP!
34
00:01:35,766 --> 00:01:37,497
OH, LOOK, WHAT A SURPRISE.
35
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,629
THERE'S MY CONTRACTOR
SITTING ON HIS BIG BUTT
36
00:01:39,630 --> 00:01:42,702
INSTEAD OF REMODELING
MY HOUSE WHEN HE SAID HE WOULD.
37
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,336
DANA, I'M NOT WEARIN'
ANY PANTS.
38
00:01:48,179 --> 00:01:50,340
DO YOU WANT ME TO GO
OVER TO YOUR HOUSE
39
00:01:50,341 --> 00:01:51,841
WITH NO PANTS ON?
40
00:01:51,842 --> 00:01:54,244
DON'T YOUR NEIGHBORS
ALREADY HATE YOU ENOUGH?
41
00:01:54,245 --> 00:01:58,848
JIM, YOU SAID YOU'D INSTALL
MY NEW TILE THIS MORNING.
42
00:01:58,849 --> 00:02:01,451
I SAID I WOULD INSTALL THE TILES
WHEN THEY CAME IN.
43
00:02:01,452 --> 00:02:03,893
THEY HAVEN'T COME IN YET.
YEAH, YOU SAID THEY BE IN TODAY.
44
00:02:03,894 --> 00:02:06,256
OH, I ALSO SAID I WOULDN'T GO
TO THE BATHROOM
45
00:02:06,257 --> 00:02:08,698
IN YOUR UPSTAIRS JOHN.
I GUESS I WAS WRONG BOTH TIMES.
46
00:02:08,699 --> 00:02:11,431
THIS JOB WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE
TWO WEEKS.
47
00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,132
IT'S ALREADY BEEN A MONTH.
48
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,134
DANA, YOU KEEP CHANGING
YOUR MIND.
49
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,437
YOU WANTED TO TURN YOUR
SPARE BEDROOM INTO AN OFFICE,
50
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:19,439
THEN YOU WANTED TO TURN IT
INTO A GUEST ROOM
51
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:22,172
AND NOW YOU WANT TO
TURN IT INTO A NURSERY! SO?
52
00:02:22,173 --> 00:02:24,174
SO? YOU DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS,
YOU NEVER HAVE ANY GUESTS
53
00:02:24,175 --> 00:02:26,646
AND YOU BARELY USE
YOUR OFFICE DOWNTOWN,
54
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,918
SO JUST LAY OFF ME!
55
00:02:28,919 --> 00:02:31,621
JIM, IT IS A NURSERY NOW, OKAY?
56
00:02:31,622 --> 00:02:33,753
RYAN AND I ARE SERIOUS
ABOUT STARTING A FAMILY.
57
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,486
OH, GOD. NOT MORE OF YOU.
58
00:02:36,487 --> 00:02:39,189
CAN'T YOU JUST
HATCH YOUR PODS
59
00:02:39,190 --> 00:02:40,590
OUT IN THE WOODS
LIKE NORMAL ALIENS?
60
00:02:40,591 --> 00:02:43,593
YOU KNOW, EVERY TIME THAT YOU...
YOU'RE THE ONE... I DO THIS FOR FREE...
61
00:02:43,594 --> 00:02:47,166
STOP YELLING!
YOU TWO ARE MAKING ME CRAZY!
62
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,169
NOW, JIM, WOULD YOU JUST
FINISH DANA'S GUEST ROOM
63
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,541
AND GET ON WITH IT?
64
00:02:51,542 --> 00:02:54,405
IT'S NOT A GUEST ROOM
ANYMORE, CHERYL. IT'S A NURSERY.
65
00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:58,248
(laughs)
IT IS?!
66
00:02:58,249 --> 00:02:59,279
YEAH!
HONEY!
67
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,581
DON'T GET EXCITED.
SETTLE DOWN.
68
00:03:01,582 --> 00:03:02,912
SHE'S NOT PREGNANT YET.
IN TWO MINUTES,
69
00:03:02,913 --> 00:03:04,614
SHE'S GOING TO CHANGE
THAT NURSERY
70
00:03:04,615 --> 00:03:05,885
INTO A CRAPPY YOGA STUDIO.
71
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:08,187
NO, I WON'T!
YES, YOU WILL!
72
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,320
ALTHOUGH A YOGA STUDIO
WOULD BE COOL.
73
00:03:10,321 --> 00:03:11,861
NURSERY, NURSERY!
SEE WHAT I'M SAYIN'?!
74
00:03:11,862 --> 00:03:13,823
NOT A NURSERY!
SHE'S A PAIN IN THE ASS!
75
00:03:13,824 --> 00:03:14,864
WHAT?! I'M THE CLIENT! I CAN
MAKE... I'M NOT WORKIN' FOR HER. I...
76
00:03:14,865 --> 00:03:18,429
ENOUGH! YOU'RE FAMILY!
MAKE IT WORK!
77
00:03:20,901 --> 00:03:22,902
FINE.
WHATEVER.
78
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:25,335
THANK YOU.
79
00:03:25,336 --> 00:03:28,338
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO GO STOP YOUR CHILDREN
80
00:03:28,339 --> 00:03:30,880
FROM PUTTING DOWN $70 ON
A MONTH-TO-MONTH LEASE. 70?
81
00:03:30,881 --> 00:03:34,214
YEAH. THERE WAS A 50
STUCK TO THE 20.
82
00:03:40,751 --> 00:03:42,992
I GOT IN A FIGHT WITH HER
RIGHT IN FRONT OF CHERYL,
83
00:03:42,993 --> 00:03:44,754
AND SHE WANTS ME
TO BE NICE TO HER,
84
00:03:44,755 --> 00:03:46,256
AND I DON'T THINK
I CAN DO IT.
85
00:03:46,257 --> 00:03:48,928
I MEAN, EVERY TIME I SEE HER,
I JUST WANT TO TEE OFF ON HER.
86
00:03:48,929 --> 00:03:52,962
SO GET IT OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM.
TEE OFF ON ME INSTEAD.
87
00:03:52,963 --> 00:03:55,865
I'M NOT GONNA DO THAT,
ANDY.
88
00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:59,509
WHAT? YOU THINK YOU'RE GONNA
HURT MY FEELINGS OR SOMETHING?
89
00:03:59,510 --> 00:04:01,611
WE'RE BUDS.
I KNOW YOU WON'T MEAN IT.
90
00:04:01,612 --> 00:04:04,013
I DON'T KNOW, ANDY.
COME ON, GET IN MY GRILLE.
91
00:04:04,014 --> 00:04:05,715
HEY, I DON'T...
BRING IT, SALLY!
92
00:04:05,716 --> 00:04:07,016
ALL RIGHT, MAMA'S BOY,
93
00:04:07,017 --> 00:04:09,018
WHY DON'T YOU GO EAT
ANOTHER DOZEN DOUGHNUTS
94
00:04:09,019 --> 00:04:11,752
OR GO PLAY WITH
YOUR "STAR WARS" DOLLS?!
95
00:04:13,824 --> 00:04:16,826
SEE? ROLLS RIGHT OFF
THE OLD BACK.
96
00:04:16,827 --> 00:04:18,388
OH, COME ON, ANDY,
I UPSET YOU.
97
00:04:18,389 --> 00:04:20,029
I DON'T WANT TO UPSET YOU
IN THE MORNING LIKE THIS.
98
00:04:20,030 --> 00:04:22,031
I DON'T WANT...
GET OFF MY BACK!
99
00:04:22,032 --> 00:04:24,635
NO! NO! STOP IT! I'M
NOT AFRAID OF YOU!
100
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,799
GET OFF ME!
101
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,442
YOU GOT A FAMILY!
YOU'RE A BIG HOTSHOT!
102
00:04:32,443 --> 00:04:34,444
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
YOU'RE THE HOTSHOT!
103
00:04:34,445 --> 00:04:36,876
ALL RIGHT!
104
00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:39,709
MORNING, JIM.
GOOD MORNING.
105
00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:42,051
YOU'RE HERE AWFULLY EARLY. I DIDN'T
EVEN HEAR YOU KNOCK. YOU KNOW WHAT?
106
00:04:42,052 --> 00:04:44,584
I'M DOING THIS JOB FOR COST.
I DON'T NEED TO KNOCK.
107
00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:47,587
COULD I PAY EXTRA FOR KNOCKING
108
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:49,759
OR FOR YOU
NOT TO GO THROUGH MY MAIL?
109
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,921
"CAT FANCY"?
110
00:04:51,922 --> 00:04:54,865
HAVE YOU READ "CAT FANCY"?
111
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:58,628
WELL, LISTEN,
I GOTTA STICK AROUND.
112
00:04:58,629 --> 00:05:01,631
I GOTTA GO UP TO THE BEDROOM
BECAUSE YOUR WIFE
113
00:05:01,632 --> 00:05:04,033
WANTS THE SAME SIZE WINDOW
THAT'S IN THE BEDROOM
114
00:05:04,034 --> 00:05:05,635
IN THE NURSERY.
115
00:05:05,636 --> 00:05:08,538
ALL RIGHT, WELL, SHE'S STILL
ASLEEP, SO JUST KEEP IT DOWN.
116
00:05:08,539 --> 00:05:09,579
ALL RIGHT.
117
00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:11,441
THANKS. OH, HEY, JIM,
118
00:05:11,442 --> 00:05:13,384
WHY IS ANDY OUT HERE CRYING?
119
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,818
IT'S WHAT HE DOES.
120
00:06:01,932 --> 00:06:05,935
(cell phone camera shutter
clicks)
121
00:06:05,936 --> 00:06:07,738
(laughs)
122
00:06:12,743 --> 00:06:14,875
MMM.
123
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:20,481
MMM. (giggles)
124
00:06:21,882 --> 00:06:25,054
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
125
00:06:25,055 --> 00:06:27,718
COME ON, TAKE ME.
LET'S GO TO THE GAZEBO.
126
00:06:33,964 --> 00:06:36,095
OH, YEAH, THE GAZEBO.
127
00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:37,897
MMM.
128
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:41,472
YEAH, COME ON, TAKE ME, JIM.
129
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:49,139
OH, JIM, YOU NAUGHTY BOY.
130
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,489
(footsteps approach)
131
00:06:59,890 --> 00:07:01,851
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
132
00:07:01,852 --> 00:07:04,024
GOOD MORNING, DANA.
133
00:07:05,756 --> 00:07:08,097
SLEEP WELL?
134
00:07:08,098 --> 00:07:10,630
WHY AREN'T YOU WORKING
ON THE NURSERY?
135
00:07:10,631 --> 00:07:12,662
I'LL GET TO THAT.
136
00:07:12,663 --> 00:07:15,605
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I WAS THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING
137
00:07:15,606 --> 00:07:18,037
THAT WOULD BE PERFECT
FOR YOUR HOME, A NEW ADDITION.
138
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,909
YOUR GRAVE?
139
00:07:19,910 --> 00:07:24,944
(chuckles)
I LOVE THE WAY WE BANTER.
140
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,847
NO, I WAS THINKING OF
SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE ROMANTIC
141
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:31,080
LIKE... A GAZEBO.
142
00:07:31,081 --> 00:07:34,784
GAZEBO?
143
00:07:34,785 --> 00:07:36,926
YEAH, A GAZEBO.
144
00:07:36,927 --> 00:07:41,631
COME ON, HAVEN'T YOU EVER
DREAMT OF A ROMANTIC GAZEBO?
145
00:07:41,632 --> 00:07:45,164
GAZEBO?
146
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:48,568
GAZEBO.
147
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:50,740
OHH.
148
00:07:50,741 --> 00:07:56,045
DANA, WHY, YOU LOOK
AS IF YOU'D JUST SEEN A GHOST,
149
00:07:56,046 --> 00:07:59,779
A VERY SEXY GHOST.
150
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:05,014
I'M FINE. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE.
GO SAW SOMETHING.
151
00:08:05,015 --> 00:08:07,056
I'M SORRY.
152
00:08:07,057 --> 00:08:10,019
HAVE I BEEN A NAUGHTY BOY?
153
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:13,162
(gasps)
154
00:08:13,163 --> 00:08:16,065
OH! YOU KNOW!
155
00:08:16,066 --> 00:08:18,728
KNOW WHAT, DANA?
156
00:08:18,729 --> 00:08:19,929
KNOW WHAT?
157
00:08:19,930 --> 00:08:23,072
THAT YOU HAD A DIRTY DREAM
ABOUT ME?
158
00:08:23,073 --> 00:08:25,905
OHH, GOD! OH, GOD!
159
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,908
I THINK IT WAS MORE LIKE,
"OH, JIM, OH, JIM,"
160
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:31,881
BUT I ANSWER TO BOTH!
161
00:08:31,882 --> 00:08:36,015
JIM, YOU CANNOT TELL
ANYBODY ABOUT THIS.
162
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:38,217
HMM. WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
163
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:41,020
NOTHING.
164
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,622
OH, OKAY.
165
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:45,855
CITIZENS, DANA'S GOT
THE HOTS FOR HER BROTHER-IN-LAW!
166
00:08:45,856 --> 00:08:48,527
HEY! GOD! FINE!
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
167
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,529
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I WANT...
168
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,162
I WANT NO MORE COMPLAINING,
I WANT NO MORE CHANGES.
169
00:08:53,163 --> 00:08:55,905
FINE, FINE. WHATEVER. OKAY.
170
00:08:55,906 --> 00:08:57,707
ALL RIGHT.
171
00:08:57,708 --> 00:08:59,970
THEN YOUR SECRET REMAINS
WITH ME.
172
00:09:03,113 --> 00:09:04,775
OOPS.
173
00:09:06,076 --> 00:09:07,818
DROPPED MY KEYS.
174
00:09:10,951 --> 00:09:12,082
(laughs)
175
00:09:26,937 --> 00:09:29,068
HEY.
HEY.
176
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,841
(turns vacuum on)
177
00:09:32,342 --> 00:09:34,043
HO, HO, HO.
178
00:09:34,044 --> 00:09:35,605
(turns vacuum off)
179
00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:37,977
I THOUGHT WE WERE
GOING TO BED. I FLOSSED.
180
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:42,311
I KNOW, BUT I'M JUST NOT TIRED.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS.
181
00:09:42,312 --> 00:09:44,313
I'M GOING OUT ON A LIMB HERE,
182
00:09:44,314 --> 00:09:47,086
BUT, UH, YOU THINK
MAYBE IT'S THE COFFEE?
183
00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,860
OH. IS THIS COFFEE?
184
00:09:50,861 --> 00:09:54,665
NOW I'LL NEVER GET TO SLEEP.
SILLY DANA.
185
00:09:56,867 --> 00:09:58,928
WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU?
186
00:09:58,929 --> 00:10:02,131
WHAT? I... I JUST...
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO SLEEP.
187
00:10:02,132 --> 00:10:04,233
WHY NOT?
188
00:10:04,234 --> 00:10:08,908
UH... I SAW SOMETHING SCARY.
189
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:14,013
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
LIKE A SCARY MOVIE OR SOMETHING?
190
00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:18,087
YES. YES, IT WAS JUST LIKE
A SCARY MOVIE,
191
00:10:18,088 --> 00:10:23,923
LIKE A SCARY, BALDING,
HAM-HANDED MOVIE.
192
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:27,256
HEY, HEY, HEY, DON'T WORRY.
COME HERE, ALL RIGHT?
193
00:10:27,257 --> 00:10:29,258
LOOK, YOUR BIG MAN'S HERE,
ALL RIGHT?
194
00:10:29,259 --> 00:10:31,160
I'M GONNA PROTECT YOU.
OHH.
195
00:10:31,161 --> 00:10:33,202
IN FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU GO TO SLEEP
196
00:10:33,203 --> 00:10:36,165
AND I'M GONNA STAY UP
AND MAKE SURE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.
197
00:10:36,166 --> 00:10:39,038
THAT IS SO SWEET.
198
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:41,370
THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT,
OKAY?
199
00:10:41,371 --> 00:10:43,342
SO YOU GET SOME SLEEP, ANGEL.
MWAH.
200
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:45,745
I DO FEEL BETTER.
I'M GLAD.
201
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:47,316
GOOD NIGHT.
NIGHT, NIGHT.
202
00:10:47,317 --> 00:10:49,679
OHH...
203
00:10:49,680 --> 00:10:51,922
OH, MY GOODNESS.
(laughs)
204
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,102
DANA...
205
00:11:13,103 --> 00:11:15,105
(laughs)
206
00:11:22,312 --> 00:11:25,785
(laughs)
207
00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:28,918
DANA!
208
00:11:28,919 --> 00:11:31,792
LOVE YOUR HAIR.
209
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,394
AAH!
210
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,466
BABE, HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY.
211
00:11:37,467 --> 00:11:39,468
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
YOU JUST HAD A BAD DREAM.
212
00:11:39,469 --> 00:11:42,331
OH, THANKS, GENIUS!
WHY DO YOU THINK I'M SCREAMING?!
213
00:11:42,332 --> 00:11:44,133
HONEY, JUST CALM DOWN,
ALL RIGHT?
214
00:11:44,134 --> 00:11:47,036
JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP. OH, NO
WAY! I'M NOT FALLING FOR THAT AGAIN.
215
00:11:47,037 --> 00:11:49,108
DON'T YOU TELL ME
TO GO BACK TO SLEEP.
216
00:11:49,109 --> 00:11:52,082
I AM NEVER GOING BACK
TO SLEEP EVER AGAIN!
217
00:11:54,084 --> 00:11:56,886
HUH.
218
00:11:56,887 --> 00:11:59,148
WELL, GO AFTER HER,
219
00:11:59,149 --> 00:12:03,053
OR FINALLY HAVE A NIGHT
OF NO COLD FEET UNDER MY ASS?
220
00:12:12,102 --> 00:12:14,964
ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE READY
TO HIT THE MALL IN A SEC.
221
00:12:14,965 --> 00:12:16,966
I JUST HAVE TO FIND
THE CREDIT CARD
222
00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:19,809
THAT JIM DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT.
223
00:12:19,810 --> 00:12:23,012
I HIDE IT IN THE DVD
OF "THE ENGLISH PATIENT."
224
00:12:23,013 --> 00:12:24,944
WHY CAN'T WE MAKE ANDY SHOP
225
00:12:24,945 --> 00:12:27,016
FOR MOM'S STUPID
BIRTHDAY PRESENT?
226
00:12:27,017 --> 00:12:28,848
HE'S THE ONLY ONE
WHO LIKES HER.
227
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:32,451
THAT'S A MEAN THING TO SAY...
228
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,523
OUT LOUD.
229
00:12:35,055 --> 00:12:37,056
BESIDES, I'M MAKING HIM
COME WITH US.
230
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,958
OHH. I'M JUST CRANKY.
231
00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:41,060
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP
IN A FEW DAYS.
232
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,892
REALLY? YOU'RE NOT SLEEPING?
NO.
233
00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:44,493
YOU WANT TO BORROW
"THE ENGLISH PATIENT"?
234
00:12:51,301 --> 00:12:54,905
READY TO SHOP!
235
00:13:08,218 --> 00:13:11,060
(cell phone camera shutter
clicks)
236
00:13:11,061 --> 00:13:12,561
(cell phone chimes)
237
00:13:12,562 --> 00:13:13,993
(laughs)
238
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,364
MMM.
239
00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:16,966
UH-HUH.
240
00:13:16,967 --> 00:13:18,297
HEY. READY TO GO?
241
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,499
SHH, SHH, SHH.
DANA'S TALKING IN HER SLEEP,
242
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:22,501
BUT I CAN'T MAKE OUT
WHAT SHE'S SAYING.
243
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,203
OH, YOU'RE SO SEXY.
244
00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:25,935
(gasps)
245
00:13:25,936 --> 00:13:28,437
SHE'S HAVING A SEX DREAM.
GROSS.
246
00:13:28,438 --> 00:13:30,009
WE SHOULD WAKE HER.
247
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:33,112
HOLD ON. LET'S SEE
WHERE THIS GOES.
248
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,285
OH, LOOK AT THE GAZEBO.
249
00:13:37,287 --> 00:13:39,088
COME ON, TAKE ME.
250
00:13:39,089 --> 00:13:41,120
TAKE ME, JIM.
251
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:43,392
AAH!
AAH!
252
00:13:43,393 --> 00:13:45,554
WHAT?! WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?!
253
00:13:45,555 --> 00:13:48,898
YOU WERE DREAMING... ABOUT JIM!
(gasps)
254
00:13:48,899 --> 00:13:53,032
LORD, WHY DOES EVERY SINGLE
WOMAN FIND THAT MAN SO SEXY?!
255
00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:56,936
I'M NICE, I'M THOUGHTFUL,
I RESPECT WOMEN.
256
00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:00,039
WHY CAN'T THE ANDYMAN
GET A LITTLE TAIL?
257
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:03,142
I AM SO SORRY, CHERYL.
258
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:06,245
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M HAVING
THESE DREAMS ABOUT JIM.
259
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,977
DO YOU HATE ME?
260
00:14:07,978 --> 00:14:10,379
DANA, IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL.
EVERYBODY HAS SEX DREAMS.
261
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:13,052
YOU KNOW, I HAD ONE ABOUT
TED KOPPEL ONCE. REALLY?
262
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:14,524
YEAH. HE WAS FILTHY.
263
00:14:15,926 --> 00:14:17,626
NOW TED KOPPEL, I GET.
264
00:14:17,627 --> 00:14:18,627
YEAH.
265
00:14:18,628 --> 00:14:19,960
HEY, GUYS,
266
00:14:21,191 --> 00:14:22,492
HEY, DANA.
267
00:14:24,634 --> 00:14:28,268
OOPS. I DROPPED MY JACKET.
268
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:34,203
YOU SEE WHAT HE'S DOING?!
HE'S RUINING MY LIFE!
269
00:14:34,204 --> 00:14:35,404
AW, YOU GUYS KNOW?!
270
00:14:35,405 --> 00:14:36,976
YES.
271
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,979
DAMN. TOMORROW MORNING
I WAS GONNA COME TO YOUR HOUSE
272
00:14:39,980 --> 00:14:41,550
DRESSED AS A PIRATE.
273
00:14:41,551 --> 00:14:43,882
I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE
TO SLEEP IN DAYS
274
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,955
BECAUSE OF THESE STUPID DREAMS.
275
00:14:45,956 --> 00:14:47,988
"DREAMS-S-S"?
276
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,962
WELL, WELL, WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE
YOU CAME BACK FOR SECONDS
277
00:14:52,963 --> 00:14:56,896
AT THE ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT
JIM BUFFET.
278
00:14:58,929 --> 00:15:01,630
WHAT IS IT, THE GIANT HEAD,
THE THICK NECK?
279
00:15:01,631 --> 00:15:04,003
I-I JUST DON'T GET IT.
280
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,276
BEND OVER, JIM.
LET ME HAVE ANOTHER LOOK.
281
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:12,081
DANA, SERIOUSLY,
YOU'VE GOT TO LET IT GO.
282
00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:14,083
IT'S JUST NOT A BIG DEAL.
283
00:15:14,084 --> 00:15:16,645
NO, THIS IS A BIG DEAL.
THIS CANNOT LEAVE THIS ROOM.
284
00:15:16,646 --> 00:15:18,647
THIS HAS TO STAY BETWEEN US.
285
00:15:18,648 --> 00:15:22,092
RYAN CAN NEVER FIND OUT THAT
I'M HAVING SEX DREAMS ABOUT JIM.
286
00:15:26,957 --> 00:15:28,598
SEX DREAMS ABOUT JIM?
287
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:32,001
OH, NO.
288
00:15:32,002 --> 00:15:33,262
COME ON, DOC.
289
00:15:33,263 --> 00:15:35,535
SERIOUSLY,
CAN YOU BLAME HER?
290
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:52,551
ARE YOU COMING TO BED?
291
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,653
I FLOSSED.
292
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,385
YOU SURE IT'S ME
YOU WANT IN THERE WITH YOU?
293
00:15:56,386 --> 00:15:58,287
RYAN, OF COURSE I'M SURE.
294
00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:00,990
REALLY? LOOK, I'M SORRY
THAT I'M NOT JIM, ALL RIGHT?
295
00:16:00,991 --> 00:16:03,632
BUT I COULD ACT LIKE JIM
IF THAT WOULD TURN YOU ON.
296
00:16:03,633 --> 00:16:06,065
IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE INTO?
JIM? HUH?
297
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,137
HUH? IS THAT WHAT YOU...
DOES THAT TURN YOU ON...
298
00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:10,269
(imitating Jim)
OH, YEAH! I'M JIM!
299
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:13,042
LOOK AT MY BELLY! I'M JIM!
300
00:16:13,043 --> 00:16:16,145
GET ME A BEER, ALL RIGHT?!
GET ME A...
301
00:16:16,146 --> 00:16:19,008
HEY, PULL MY FINGER,
ALL RIGHT?!
302
00:16:19,009 --> 00:16:22,081
CUBS! BEARS! OH, YEAH!
303
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:24,983
TV, BEER, STEAK!
304
00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:26,355
(belches)
305
00:16:26,356 --> 00:16:28,057
(sobs)
306
00:16:28,058 --> 00:16:29,558
(normal voice) BABE,
WHY ARE YOU CRYING?
307
00:16:29,559 --> 00:16:31,060
I'M SCARED.
308
00:16:31,061 --> 00:16:33,992
THAT WAS REALLY GOOD.
309
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,395
BABE, I'M SORRY,
310
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:39,098
BUT THIS WHOLE THING IS
JUST REALLY FREAKIN' ME OUT.
311
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:40,529
IT'S FREAKING YOU OUT?!
312
00:16:40,530 --> 00:16:43,632
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE JIM'S TAKING
IN THE GAZEBO EVERY NIGHT.
313
00:16:43,633 --> 00:16:45,674
THERE'S A LOT MORE GOING ON
IN THIS DREAM
314
00:16:45,675 --> 00:16:47,736
THAN JUST JIM, YOU KNOW?
YES, THERE IS!
315
00:16:47,737 --> 00:16:50,309
YEAH. LIKE, UM, WELL,
LIKE THE GAZEBO.
316
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:53,512
(snaps, claps)
YES! THE GAZEBO.
317
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,644
OKAY, MAYBE THE GAZEBO
IS BECAUSE...
318
00:16:55,645 --> 00:16:58,147
BECAUSE WE WATCHED
"THE SOUND OF MUSIC" LAST MONTH.
319
00:16:58,148 --> 00:17:01,019
YES, YES, AND THAT'S
MY FAVORITE MOVIE! YEAH.
320
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:03,552
AND JIM IS A BIT OF A NAZI.
321
00:17:03,553 --> 00:17:06,225
OKAY, LET'S JUST, YOU KNOW,
SPIN THE WHEELS,
322
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:08,227
SPIN THE WHEELS,
SPIN THE WHEELS.
323
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,229
YOU KNOW WHAT?
MAYBE IT'S NOT EVEN OUR JIM.
324
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:13,303
MAYBE IT'S LIKE, ANOTHER JIM.
MAYBE IT'S LIKE A JIM... NABORS.
325
00:17:15,465 --> 00:17:17,035
IS THAT REALLY BETTER?
326
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,037
OKAY?
327
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:22,311
I'M THINKING SORT OF LIKE,
I DON'T KNOW, JIM TRESSEL.
328
00:17:22,312 --> 00:17:24,173
OOH, THE HEAD COACH
AT OHIO STATE.
329
00:17:24,174 --> 00:17:26,145
OH, BABE, I LOVE YOU
SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.
330
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,547
OKAY, WE'RE GETTIN' THERE.
331
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:32,050
OKAY, LOOK, IS THERE ANY,
LIKE, GOOD QUALITY ABOUT JIM
332
00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:34,283
THAT WOULD MAKE YOU
WANT TO...
333
00:17:34,284 --> 00:17:37,086
OH, GOD...
CONNECT TO HIM?
334
00:17:37,087 --> 00:17:38,787
OKAY, GOOD QUALITIES.
YEAH.
335
00:17:38,788 --> 00:17:42,161
UM, HE ALWAYS WEARS A WATCH.
336
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:43,162
OKAY, THERE'S ONE.
337
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:46,135
OKAY, AND, UM, UM...
338
00:17:46,136 --> 00:17:48,066
OH, I SAW HIM EAT CELERY ONCE!
339
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,068
OKAY, AND HE'S BEEN DOING
A GREAT JOB ON THE NURSERY.
340
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:53,102
GOTTA GIVE IT UP. YES, YES!
HE'S HAD SOME VERY GOOD IDEAS,
341
00:17:53,103 --> 00:17:55,274
LIKE, HE WANTED TO PUT A SHELF
NEXT TO THE CHANGING TABLE
342
00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,775
FOR LOTION AND BABY WIPES.
343
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:59,808
WHICH IS AMAZING FOR A MAN
THAT'S NEVER CHANGED A DIAPER.
344
00:17:59,809 --> 00:18:01,810
OH, NO, ARE YOU KIDDING?
345
00:18:01,811 --> 00:18:03,812
NO, HE'S CHANGED
THOUSANDS OF THEM.
346
00:18:03,813 --> 00:18:06,815
HE JUST TELLS YOU GUYS
THAT HE DOESN'T DO THAT STUFF,
347
00:18:06,816 --> 00:18:09,488
BUT HE'S ACTUALLY REALLY GREAT
WITH THE KIDS.
348
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,491
I MEAN, HE READS TO THEM,
HE BRUSHES THE GIRLS' HAIR,
349
00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,493
HE TUCKS THEM IN.
IT'S VERY SWEET.
350
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:16,495
YOU THINK JIM'S A GOOD DAD?
YEAH.
351
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,197
HAVE YOU TOLD HIM?
352
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:21,200
OH, GOD, NO. THAT WOULD
MAKE HIM FEEL GOOD.
353
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:23,702
DANA, THAT COULD BE
WHAT ALL THIS IS ABOUT.
354
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,704
I MEAN, COME ON, YOU AND I
355
00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:28,207
HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT
GETTING PREGNANT, RIGHT?
356
00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:31,340
AND YOU THINK JIM
IS LIKE A GREAT FATHER.
357
00:18:31,341 --> 00:18:33,182
I MEAN, COME ON.
358
00:18:33,183 --> 00:18:35,515
HMM.
359
00:18:37,817 --> 00:18:42,120
ANOTHER CASH DEPOSIT
IN THE BANK OF "ROADHOUSE."
360
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,122
(door opens)
361
00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,854
HEY.
362
00:18:45,855 --> 00:18:51,560
HEY. UH, CHERYL ALREADY
WENT TO BED.
363
00:18:51,561 --> 00:18:54,603
THAT'S OKAY.
I CAME TO SEE YOU.
364
00:18:54,604 --> 00:18:57,506
I THOUGHT WE SHOULD
HAVE A TALK.
365
00:18:57,507 --> 00:19:02,511
OH, THIS CAN'T BE GOOD.
366
00:19:02,512 --> 00:19:03,542
ALL RIGHT.
367
00:19:03,543 --> 00:19:05,174
(clears throat)
368
00:19:05,175 --> 00:19:07,546
SO RYAN HAS A THEORY
369
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:10,519
ON WHY I'M HAVING THESE DREAMS
ABOUT YOU.
370
00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,522
I HAVE A THEORY, TOO.
371
00:19:13,883 --> 00:19:16,856
YOU'RE ACHIN' FOR MY BACON!
372
00:19:18,858 --> 00:19:21,691
WILL YOU STOP?
THIS IS TOUGH.
373
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:29,598
RYAN THINKS IT'S BECAUSE...
AND YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH...
374
00:19:29,599 --> 00:19:32,701
I THINK YOU'RE A GOOD FATHER.
375
00:19:32,702 --> 00:19:34,543
AW, GET OUTTA HERE.
376
00:19:34,544 --> 00:19:38,176
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT?
AND I THINK HE'S RIGHT.
377
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:41,550
WHEN WE HAVE KIDS, I HOPE
RYAN'S AS GOOD A DAD AS YOU ARE.
378
00:19:41,551 --> 00:19:44,513
HUH.
379
00:19:44,514 --> 00:19:46,815
YOU'RE SURE YOU'RE NOT
THINKIN' ABOUT MY LINCOLN?
380
00:19:46,816 --> 00:19:48,557
JIM.
381
00:19:48,558 --> 00:19:50,819
HOT FOR MY KNOT?
OHH!
382
00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:53,522
WAIT A MINUTE, DANA,
DANA, DANA, DANA, DANA,
383
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:56,795
HOLD ON, HOLD ON,
WAIT A SECOND.
384
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,467
YOU REALLY...
385
00:19:58,468 --> 00:20:00,969
YOU REALLY THINK
RYAN SHOULD BE LIKE ME, HUH?
386
00:20:00,970 --> 00:20:05,234
JUST THE GOOD PARTS.
I MEAN...
387
00:20:05,235 --> 00:20:08,307
WELL, CAN I LET YOU IN
ON A LITTLE SECRET? WHAT?
388
00:20:08,308 --> 00:20:14,613
BEING A PARENT IS THE TOUGHEST
THING I'VE EVER DONE,
389
00:20:14,614 --> 00:20:16,945
BUT YOU FIND IT.
390
00:20:16,946 --> 00:20:18,987
IT'S IN YOU...
391
00:20:18,988 --> 00:20:20,949
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?
WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH,
392
00:20:20,950 --> 00:20:24,653
REMEMBER, YOU GOT
CHERYL AND ME HERE.
393
00:20:24,654 --> 00:20:27,826
WE CAN HELP YOU.
YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
394
00:20:27,827 --> 00:20:31,301
THANKS.
395
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:38,607
OH, I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER.
(laughs)
396
00:20:38,608 --> 00:20:42,272
OHH. (yawns)
397
00:20:43,913 --> 00:20:47,846
ALL RIGHT, I'VE BEEN NICE
TO YOU FOR THE LAST TWO MINUTES.
398
00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:49,848
THAT'S ENOUGH.
399
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:53,722
I GOTTA BALANCE IT OUT
WITH A COUPLE OF INSULTS HERE.
400
00:20:53,723 --> 00:20:56,725
LIKE YOU'RE OBNOXIOUS.
401
00:20:56,726 --> 00:20:58,358
YOU'RE PUSHY.
402
00:21:03,293 --> 00:21:05,395
YOU'RE A DROOLER.
403
00:21:21,951 --> 00:21:24,914
(cell phone camera shutter
clicking)
26721
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