All language subtitles for According to Jim S05E07 - The Chick Whisperer (2005) WEB-DL 1080p.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:05,275 SO, BERNICE, UH... 2 00:00:05,276 --> 00:00:08,007 ANDY SAYS THAT YOU GUYS MET AT COULIER'S. 3 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,009 DO YOU GO THERE OFTEN? 4 00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,481 EVERY OTHER TUESDAY. (Cheryl) MM. 5 00:00:11,482 --> 00:00:13,183 IT'S D.M.V. EMPLOYEE NIGHT, 6 00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:16,046 SO THE WHOLE GANG GOES DOWN THERE. 7 00:00:16,047 --> 00:00:18,048 OH. (chuckles) WELL, DO THEY 8 00:00:18,049 --> 00:00:20,050 MAKE YOU STAND AT THE BAR FOR 40 MINUTES 9 00:00:20,051 --> 00:00:24,155 AND THEN TELL YOU YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT FORM FOR THE DRINK? 10 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,264 OUR AVERAGE WAIT TIME IS 18 MINUTES. 11 00:00:34,705 --> 00:00:38,808 OKAY, UH, BERNICE, MAY I OFFER YOU MORE COFFEE? 12 00:00:38,809 --> 00:00:42,042 ACTUALLY, BERNICE HAS A SERIOUS BLADDER ISSUE. 13 00:00:43,774 --> 00:00:46,217 FOUND THAT OUT AT THE DRIVE-IN. 14 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,180 HEY, GUYS. I'M SO SORRY. I FELL ASLEEP WITH THE GIRLS. 15 00:00:50,181 --> 00:00:51,521 (Cheryl) OH. 16 00:00:51,522 --> 00:00:55,555 COULD BE CHRONIC FATIGUE OR DEPRESSION. I HAVE BOTH. 17 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,827 HI, I'M DANA. BERNICE. 18 00:00:57,828 --> 00:01:00,290 HI. SORRY, MY ARM FELL ASLEEP. 19 00:01:00,291 --> 00:01:02,163 OW! OH! 20 00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:09,399 I AM SO SORRY. 21 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,801 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. WE ALL WANTED TO DO THAT. 22 00:01:11,802 --> 00:01:13,843 DANA! OH, MY GOD! 23 00:01:13,844 --> 00:01:16,176 BERNICE, ARE YOU OKAY? 24 00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:19,749 I'VE GOT TEMPORAL MANDIBULAR SYNDROME. 25 00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:22,812 OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL IT A NIGHT. 26 00:01:22,813 --> 00:01:25,685 THANKS, ANDY. YOU ARE SO KIND. 27 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,857 YEAH. 28 00:01:27,858 --> 00:01:30,090 SEE YA. 29 00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:40,563 ♪♪♪ 30 00:01:41,432 --> 00:01:45,505 ANDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING DATING SOME D.M.V. CHICK? 31 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,507 I THOUGHT YOUR LOW POINT WAS WHEN YOUR MAIL ORDER BRIDE 32 00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,780 LEFT YOU TO GO BACK TO HER WAR-TORN HOMELAND. 33 00:01:50,781 --> 00:01:53,743 SHE DIDN'T LEAVE ME. THEY CALLED UP HER UNIT. 34 00:01:53,744 --> 00:01:54,744 (Jim) OH. 35 00:01:54,745 --> 00:01:56,786 ANDY. ANDY... 36 00:01:56,787 --> 00:01:58,788 WOULD YOU JUST LET ME SET YOU UP WITH CONNIE 37 00:01:58,789 --> 00:02:01,291 FROM OUR YOGA CLASS? YOU GUYS HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. 38 00:02:01,292 --> 00:02:03,853 YOU... YOU CAN'T PUT TWO DESPERATE LOSERS TOGETHER 39 00:02:03,854 --> 00:02:06,125 AND EXPECT SOMETHIN' TO HAPPEN. 40 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,829 JIM... CONNIE IS NOT A LOSER. 41 00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:13,463 CHERYL, PUTTING PEOPLE TOGETHER IS AN ART. 42 00:02:13,464 --> 00:02:17,167 IT'S A SCIENCE. IT'S A... ART-SCIENCE, IF YOU WILL. 43 00:02:17,168 --> 00:02:19,169 ALL RIGHT? YOU NEED... YOU NEED SOMEONE WITH WISDOM 44 00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:21,441 AND EXPERIENCE TO HELP YOU FIND THE RIGHT GIRL. 45 00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,314 OKAY, AND LET ME GUESS. THAT SOMEONE IS YOU. 46 00:02:24,315 --> 00:02:27,247 CHERYL, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GUESS. IT IS ME. 47 00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,248 RIGHT. 48 00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,250 YOU KNOW. ANDREW, LISTEN TO ME. 49 00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:33,753 I COME FROM A... A LONG TRADITION, ALL RIGHT? AHEM. 50 00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,887 THE EARLY SETTLERS USED TO CALL US "CHICK WHISPERERS." 51 00:02:38,629 --> 00:02:42,161 WE THRIVED ON THIS CONTINENT FOR... FOR CENTURIES. 52 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,163 AND THEN WHEN THEY CUT DOWN ALL THE FORESTS, 53 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,267 WE KIND OF MIGRATED INTO THE SINGLES BARS. 54 00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,269 WELL, WHATEVER I'M DOIN' NOW ISN'T WORKIN'. 55 00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,271 WHAT DO I GOT TO LOSE? 56 00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,644 50 POUNDS AND A PORN ADDICTION? 57 00:02:55,346 --> 00:02:58,908 ANDY, JIM DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT. 58 00:02:58,909 --> 00:03:00,780 (Jim) WHAT? I'M VERY GOOD AT THIS. 59 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,782 MY FRIENDS CALL ME "THE MATCHMAKER." 60 00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,214 MATCHMAKER? YES! 61 00:03:04,215 --> 00:03:06,586 JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN PUT A SHIRT AND PANTS TOGETHER 62 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,958 DOESN'T MAKE YOU A MATCHMAKER. 63 00:03:08,959 --> 00:03:10,960 HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, ANDY, THINK ABOUT IT. 64 00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:14,594 WOULD YOU RATHER TAKE ADVICE FROM A GUY WHO MARRIED UP 65 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,597 OR A WOMAN WHO MARRIED DOWN? 66 00:03:19,570 --> 00:03:21,371 SORRY, SIS. 67 00:03:21,372 --> 00:03:23,874 AAH! 68 00:03:30,941 --> 00:03:33,843 SO I JUST TALK INTO THIS BUTTON ON MY CUFF AND YOU'LL HEAR ME? 69 00:03:33,844 --> 00:03:36,215 YEAH, YEAH. SEE? HERE. 70 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,217 I GOT THE RECEIVER IN MY EAR HERE. 71 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,219 IT'LL PICK UP EVERYTHING. 72 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,621 GO AHEAD, TEST IT OUT. 73 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,553 HELLO, CHICAGO! OW! 74 00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:45,625 ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?! OW! 75 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,226 STUPID JERK! 76 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,528 AAH. 77 00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:51,361 COME ON. STAY FOCUSED HERE. 78 00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:52,962 YOU WANNA FIND A WOMAN OF QUALITY OR NOT? 79 00:03:52,963 --> 00:03:55,565 YEAH, OF COURSE, OF COURSE. ALL RIGHT. OKAY, OKAY. 80 00:03:55,566 --> 00:03:59,569 CHECK OUT THE REDHEAD BEHIND ME. 81 00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:01,411 OOH. PRETTY. 82 00:04:01,412 --> 00:04:03,973 NO ADAM'S APPLE. I'M SEEING GREEN LIGHTS. 83 00:04:03,974 --> 00:04:06,746 WRONG, WRONG. WHAT'S SHE DRINKIN'? WHAT'S SHE DRINKIN'? 84 00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,748 LEMON DROP MARTINI. 85 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,750 RIGHT. HIGH MAINTENANCE. 86 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:14,424 WE WANNA FIND A GIRL WHO'S DRINKIN' WHITE WINE. 87 00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:16,426 YES, YES, YES. WHITE WINE. 88 00:04:16,427 --> 00:04:18,428 EDUCATED AND UNPRETENTIOUS. MM-HMM. 89 00:04:18,429 --> 00:04:21,931 OOH, OOH, OOH, JIM! JIM! LOOK! HOW ABOUT HER? 90 00:04:21,932 --> 00:04:23,893 YOU GOT A GOOD EYE, 91 00:04:23,894 --> 00:04:25,895 BUT SHE'S CHEWIN' PRETTY HARD ON THAT STRAW. 92 00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:27,967 IT MEANS SHE'S AN ANGRY WOMAN. 93 00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,969 ALL RIGHT? DO YOU WANT AN ANGRY WOMAN? 94 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,872 SOMETIMES IT'S NICE. 95 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:40,510 BINGO. HOT CHICK RIGHT THERE IN THE RED TOP. 96 00:04:40,511 --> 00:04:41,881 OH, BUT SHE'S GORGEOUS. 97 00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,883 WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE. YOU WANT ME TO HELP YA, 98 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,885 OR DO YOU WANNA DRIVE DOWN TO THE TRAIN YARD 99 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:48,418 AND FIND A GIRL WHO'S RUBBIN' HER HANDS 100 00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:50,420 OVER A BURNING TRASH CAN? 101 00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:53,463 SOMETIMES IT'S NICE. 102 00:04:53,464 --> 00:04:55,595 AH, COME ON. 103 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,597 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 104 00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,599 NOW JUST FOLLOW MY INSTRUCTIONS. YEAH. 105 00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,902 BE CONFIDENT. CAN YOU HEAR ME? 106 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,534 (whispers) YES. OKAY. 107 00:05:04,535 --> 00:05:06,306 NOW PUT YOUR HAND OVER YOUR HEAD. 108 00:05:07,978 --> 00:05:11,080 SMELL YOUR ARMPIT. 109 00:05:11,081 --> 00:05:13,614 NOW TURN AROUND AND ADJUST YOUR CROTCH. 110 00:05:18,849 --> 00:05:21,320 JIM! ALL RIGHT! OW! EASY! OW! JEEZ! 111 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,493 I THOUGHT YOU WERE HELPIN' ME. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT! 112 00:05:23,494 --> 00:05:26,396 OKAY, NOW LET'S START WITH A COMPLIMENT. 113 00:05:26,397 --> 00:05:29,930 OKAY, UH, YOU LOOK GREAT IN THOSE PANTS, JIM. 114 00:05:31,902 --> 00:05:34,003 THE GIRL, THE GIRL. 115 00:05:34,004 --> 00:05:36,766 SAY SOMETHIN' LIKE, UH, 116 00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:39,008 HEAVEN MUST BE MISSING AN ANGEL TONIGHT 117 00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:41,571 BECAUSE YOU'RE RIGHT HERE ON EARTH. 118 00:05:41,572 --> 00:05:44,013 I'M NOT SAYING THAT. THAT'S CORNY. 119 00:05:44,014 --> 00:05:46,976 CORNY IS GOOD. WOMEN LOVE CORNY. JUST DO IT. 120 00:05:46,977 --> 00:05:49,919 NO WAY! WHAT? 121 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:54,584 I, UH, I SAID, "OH, HEY." 122 00:05:54,585 --> 00:05:56,556 (chuckles) UH, HEAVEN... 123 00:05:56,557 --> 00:06:00,029 MUST BE MISSIN' AN ANGEL BECAUSE YOU'RE RIGHT HERE ON EARTH. 124 00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:04,665 THAT'S CORNY, BUT IT KINDA WORKS. 125 00:06:06,897 --> 00:06:08,398 I'M STEPHANIE. 126 00:06:08,399 --> 00:06:09,899 AND WE'RE IN. 127 00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,741 I'M ANDY. 128 00:06:11,742 --> 00:06:13,603 OKAY, NOW COMPLIMENT HER SHOES. 129 00:06:13,604 --> 00:06:15,746 GUYS DON'T DO IT, AND WOMEN LOVE IT. 130 00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:26,416 I REALLY DIG THOSE SHOES. THEY'RE SO STRAPPY. 131 00:06:26,417 --> 00:06:28,418 THANK YOU. 132 00:06:28,419 --> 00:06:30,420 GUYS NEVER NOTICE THAT STUFF. 133 00:06:30,421 --> 00:06:32,662 ARE YOU SOME KIND OF ARTIST OR SOMETHING? 134 00:06:32,663 --> 00:06:35,124 ACTUALLY, I DID WRITE A ONE-ACT PLAY... 135 00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:37,627 ANDY, ANDY, "ARTIST" IS CODE. SHE THINKS YOU'RE GAY. 136 00:06:37,628 --> 00:06:43,003 ENTITLED, "I REALLY LIKE NAKED WOMEN WHO WEAR STRAPPY SHOES." 137 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,006 (laughs) 138 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,409 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. THAT'S GOOD. 139 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,483 SO, ANDY, WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE NOT WRITING PLAYS? 140 00:06:53,484 --> 00:06:55,845 I'M AN ARCHITECT. OH, REALLY? 141 00:06:55,846 --> 00:06:57,747 WHERE DO YOU WORK? (Jim) OH, DON'T ANSWER THAT. 142 00:06:57,748 --> 00:07:00,590 THE LESS YOU SAY, THE MORE INTRIGUED SHE'LL BECOME. 143 00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:02,992 ANYWHERE SOMEONE NEEDS A BUILDING. 144 00:07:02,993 --> 00:07:06,896 OH, WITTY, TOO. I'M INTRIGUED. 145 00:07:06,897 --> 00:07:08,898 (Jim) OH, YES. 146 00:07:08,899 --> 00:07:11,060 WE GOT THE SHOULDER PAT. SHE LIKES YOU. 147 00:07:11,061 --> 00:07:14,764 ALL RIGHT. GET THE NUMBER AND GET OUT. 148 00:07:14,765 --> 00:07:18,638 UH, TELL HER, UH, YOU GOT A THING. BE MYSTERIOUS. 149 00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,640 COULD... COULD I GET YOUR NUMBER? 150 00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,674 I-I GOT A THING. 151 00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,948 HERE YOU GO, BUT YOU'D BETTER CALL ME. 152 00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,981 NOW TELL HER TO STAY BEAUTIFUL AND JUST WALK AWAY. 153 00:07:31,982 --> 00:07:35,986 STAY BEAUTIFUL, AND JUST WALK AWAY. 154 00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:58,848 HEY. 155 00:07:58,849 --> 00:07:59,849 HEY. 156 00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:02,812 OW! 157 00:08:02,813 --> 00:08:05,184 I'M SORRY, ROMEO... 158 00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,657 COMIN' INTO WORK LATE... 159 00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:09,889 WEARIN' THE SAME CLOTHES HE HAD ON YESTERDAY. 160 00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,891 I'M PROUD OF YA. 161 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,564 I'M STILL DOCKIN' YOUR PAY, BUT I'M PROUD OF YA. 162 00:08:14,565 --> 00:08:17,567 YEAH, THAT... THAT STEPHANIE'S QUITE A GIRL. 163 00:08:17,568 --> 00:08:19,569 UH-HUH. YEAH, BUT I'M NOT TOO SURE ABOUT HER. 164 00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:21,731 SHE'S GOT A FEW, UH, QUIRKS. 165 00:08:21,732 --> 00:08:23,733 WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? 166 00:08:23,734 --> 00:08:25,735 I FIND YOU THIS REALLY HOT CHICK 167 00:08:25,736 --> 00:08:28,077 AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT A FEW QUIRKS? QUIRKS LIKE WHAT? 168 00:08:28,078 --> 00:08:30,079 OKAY, SHE INSISTS 169 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,812 ON PUTTING TOOTHPASTE ON MY TOOTHBRUSH FOR ME. 170 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:36,616 PFFT. COME ON. THAT'S JUST BEING CARING, THAT'S ALL. 171 00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,147 THEN SHE FLOSSES ME. 172 00:08:38,148 --> 00:08:40,890 SHE'S WORRIED ABOUT YOUR GUMS. 173 00:08:40,891 --> 00:08:42,892 THEN SHE SAVES THE FLOSS IN A JAR 174 00:08:42,893 --> 00:08:45,025 LABELED "PIECES OF ANDY." 175 00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,929 OKAY, THAT'S A LITTLE CRAZY. 176 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:53,062 EXACTLY. I'M JUST NOT SURE IT'S GONNA WORK OUT. NO, NO, NO, NO. COME HERE, 177 00:08:53,063 --> 00:08:55,605 COME HERE, COME HERE. NEW LESSON FROM THE CHICK WHISPERER HERE. 178 00:08:55,606 --> 00:08:58,568 LISTEN, ANDY, ALL WOMEN ARE CRAZY. 179 00:08:58,569 --> 00:09:01,070 REALLY? YES, THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS. 180 00:09:01,071 --> 00:09:04,574 THERE IS A DIRECT RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN HOW HOT A CHICK IS 181 00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:06,576 AND HOW MUCH CRAZY TO TOLERATE. 182 00:09:06,577 --> 00:09:11,180 WELL, JIM, SHE IS THE HOTTEST GIRL I'VE EVER DATED. 183 00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:14,584 OKAY, THEN SHE'S ACCEPTABLY CRAZY. 184 00:09:14,585 --> 00:09:18,958 ACCEPTABLY CRAZY. OKAY, I GET THAT. THANKS. 185 00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:19,959 THANKS... 186 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,061 THANKS, CHICK WHISPERER. 187 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,293 AH. 188 00:09:24,294 --> 00:09:25,294 HI, ANDY. 189 00:09:25,295 --> 00:09:26,295 OH. 190 00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:27,296 JIM. 191 00:09:27,297 --> 00:09:28,938 OH, HI, STEPHANIE. 192 00:09:28,939 --> 00:09:30,840 HEY, STEPHANIE. UH, WHAT... WHAT BRINGS YOU BY? 193 00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:32,842 WELL, I HAD A SWEET TOOTH, 194 00:09:32,843 --> 00:09:35,645 AND I WANT SOME ANDY CANDY. 195 00:09:35,646 --> 00:09:39,610 MMM, MMM, MMM, MMM. 196 00:09:43,714 --> 00:09:45,085 HI. 197 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:49,358 I-I-I-I'M SUPPOSED TO BE SOMEPLACE... 198 00:09:49,359 --> 00:09:53,663 THAT'S NOT THIS PLACE. 199 00:09:53,664 --> 00:09:56,295 SO, GORGEOUS... 200 00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,997 YEAH? CAN I HAVE SOMETHING 201 00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,999 TO CARRY AROUND THAT REMINDS ME OF YOU? 202 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,033 OH, WELL, I DO HAVE SOME PICTURES OF ME WITH TONY DANZA. 203 00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:07,036 WELL, I WAS THINKIN' OF SOMETHIN' 204 00:10:07,037 --> 00:10:10,109 A LITTLE MORE PERSONAL, LIKE MAYBE SOME OF YOUR HAIR. 205 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:13,112 OKAY, I GUESS WE COULD TAKE A SNIP OF MY... 206 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,144 (gasps) (gasps) OH. 207 00:10:15,145 --> 00:10:16,185 AAH! 208 00:10:16,186 --> 00:10:18,187 OH, YES. 209 00:10:18,188 --> 00:10:19,188 OH! 210 00:10:19,189 --> 00:10:21,752 YES, YES. 211 00:10:23,153 --> 00:10:24,223 AH. 212 00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:29,960 NOW YOUR CHEST WILL BE ON MINE ALL DAY. 213 00:10:31,862 --> 00:10:35,835 (giggles) 214 00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,837 I LOVE YOU... I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST SAID THAT. 215 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,840 THAT WAS ME, RIGHT? OHH! 216 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:48,077 ACCEPTABLY CRAZY. 217 00:10:48,078 --> 00:10:51,651 AH. 218 00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:57,186 HEY, HONEY, HAVE YOU TALKED TO ANDY? 219 00:10:57,187 --> 00:10:59,658 DO YOU KNOW IF HE'S COMING OVER FOR DINNER? 220 00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:03,662 OH, I THINK THAT'S DOUBTFUL. YOUNG ANDREW IS FEEDING ON LOVE. 221 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:07,036 ALSO, HE HAD A BUCKET OF CHICKEN AROUND 4:00 AT WORK. 222 00:11:07,037 --> 00:11:09,198 YEAH, YOU KNOW, HE DOES SEEM REALLY HAPPY LATELY. 223 00:11:09,199 --> 00:11:12,671 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HIS ROLE IN THE FAMILY IS ANYMORE. 224 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,945 I GOTTA ADMIT, YOU DID A GREAT JOB, JIM. 225 00:11:15,946 --> 00:11:19,448 JIM? JIM WHO? 226 00:11:19,449 --> 00:11:21,751 WHAT IS MY PIONEER NAME? 227 00:11:21,752 --> 00:11:24,955 GREAT JOB, CHICK WHISPERER. 228 00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:29,959 (Cheryl) OH, THERE HE IS. HELLO! 229 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,221 WE WANNA HEAR ALL ABOUT YOUR STEPHANIE. 230 00:11:32,222 --> 00:11:34,363 (laughs) 231 00:11:34,364 --> 00:11:36,365 A GENTLEMAN NEVER TALKS. 232 00:11:36,366 --> 00:11:37,997 COME ON! COME ON! COME ON! 233 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,029 JIM, I NEED TO TALK. 234 00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:43,172 OKAY. YOUNG ANDREW NEEDS SOME ADVICE. 235 00:11:43,173 --> 00:11:45,304 SO MY ADVICE TO THE MATCHMAKER WOULD BE 236 00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:49,038 TRY TO MATCH UP SOMETHING THAT'S FOR DINNER 237 00:11:49,039 --> 00:11:51,842 THAT WOULD FIT MY TUMMY. 238 00:11:52,943 --> 00:11:55,714 HERE'S A HINT... 239 00:11:55,715 --> 00:12:00,019 STEW. 240 00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:03,122 YOU KNOW, STEW DOES SOUND REALLY GOOD. JIM'S ON A ROLL. 241 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,123 YEAH. 242 00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,955 HEY, BUD, WHAT'S UP? 243 00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:08,899 (chuckles) I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S UP. 244 00:12:15,305 --> 00:12:18,037 THAT'S KINDA SEXY. 245 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,039 WHAT? NO, IT WASN'T... IT WASN'T SO SEXY 246 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,813 WHEN STEPHANIE LEFT ME LOCKED UP FOR FOUR HOURS. 247 00:12:23,814 --> 00:12:25,815 AH, MAYBE SHE MISPLACED THE KEY. 248 00:12:25,816 --> 00:12:27,817 PEOPLE LOSE KEYS. LET HER SLIDE. 249 00:12:27,818 --> 00:12:31,051 OH, YEAH? OH, REALLY? SHOULD I LET THIS SLIDE? 250 00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,956 THIS IS HENNA. IT WON'T COME OFF FOR WEEKS. 251 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:40,860 JIM, IS THIS STILL ACCEPTABLY CRAZY? 252 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,232 DOES SHE COOK? JIM. 253 00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:44,894 LAUNDRY? JIM! 254 00:12:44,895 --> 00:12:46,896 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, DUMP HER, DUMP HER. 255 00:12:46,897 --> 00:12:48,767 YOU'RE RIGHT. THAT IS A LITTLE CRAZY. 256 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,539 BUT I'M SCARED, JIM. WHAT? 257 00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:53,472 I TALKED HER INTO HENNA. SHE WANTED TO BRAND ME. 258 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,474 OH, COME ON. THIS IS NO TIME TO PANIC, ANDY. 259 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,277 OH, REALLY, JIM? REALLY? NO. 260 00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,349 SO TELL ME... TELL ME, WHEN IS THE TIME TO PANIC? 261 00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:04,183 WHEN SHE WANTS TO HOOK HER CAR BATTERY UP TO MY BOYS? 262 00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,185 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 263 00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,287 I'LL... I'LL HELP YOU GET RID OF HER. 264 00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,119 I WAS JUST SO FOOLED. 265 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,092 I MEAN, SHE WAS HOT... SHE LIKED CORNY... 266 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,094 DRINKIN' WHITE WINE... 267 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,067 NO, NO, NO. HER FRIEND WAS DRINKIN' WHITE WINE. 268 00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:20,069 SHE WAS DRINKIN' A COSMO. 269 00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:22,071 (gasps) A COSMO? 270 00:13:22,072 --> 00:13:25,405 OH, MY FRIEND, YOU'RE LUCKY YOU GOT OUT OF THERE ALIVE. 271 00:13:32,282 --> 00:13:35,284 SO, STEPH, IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S ME. 272 00:13:35,285 --> 00:13:36,946 OKAY. GOOD, GOOD. 273 00:13:36,947 --> 00:13:39,188 TELL HER YOU'RE NOT READY FOR A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW, 274 00:13:39,189 --> 00:13:42,291 AND THEN BE PREPARED TO DODGE A SLAP. 275 00:13:42,292 --> 00:13:44,894 (chair scrapes floor) 276 00:13:44,895 --> 00:13:46,896 STEPHANIE, THE ANDYMAN'S A LONE WOLF. 277 00:13:46,897 --> 00:13:48,898 IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WOLVES, 278 00:13:48,899 --> 00:13:50,900 WE NEED TO ROAM FREE. 279 00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:52,902 THIS WAS MY FAULT. 280 00:13:52,903 --> 00:13:54,904 I PUSHED THINGS TOO FAST. 281 00:13:54,905 --> 00:13:58,607 WHY DON'T WE JUST HANG OUT AND HAVE LOTS OF SEX? 282 00:13:58,608 --> 00:14:01,971 IS THAT AN OPTION? (Jim) ANDY, IT'S A TRICK. 283 00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:04,273 TELL HER IT'S OVER, AND THEN JUST WALK AWAY. 284 00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:09,119 STEPH, IT'S OVER, AND JUST WALK AWAY. 285 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,982 WHAT DON'T YOU GET ABOUT THAT?! 286 00:14:12,983 --> 00:14:14,954 HERE'S THE THING, ANDY. 287 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:17,126 IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER. 288 00:14:17,127 --> 00:14:20,029 UH, JIM, MAYDAY, MAYDAY. 289 00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:21,160 AAH, AAH! 290 00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,162 YOU'RE PART OF ME. 291 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:25,094 EVERY WORD YOU EVER SAID PROVED IT. 292 00:14:25,095 --> 00:14:28,367 BUT THOSE WEREN'T MY WORDS. THEY WERE HIS. 293 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,100 HI. JIM? 294 00:14:31,101 --> 00:14:34,443 YEAH, IT... IT'S TRUE, STEPHANIE. I TOLD HIM WHAT TO SAY 295 00:14:34,444 --> 00:14:36,445 THROUGH THIS LITTLE MICROPHONE HERE IN MY CUFF. 296 00:14:36,446 --> 00:14:38,507 WHAT? YOU DIDN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH ANDY. 297 00:14:38,508 --> 00:14:41,610 YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH THE WORDS I TOLD HIM TO SAY. 298 00:14:41,611 --> 00:14:44,183 OH. 299 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,884 THEN I LOVE YOU. 300 00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,156 WHAT? 301 00:14:47,157 --> 00:14:49,158 OH, YEAH. NO! 302 00:14:49,159 --> 00:14:51,290 YOU'RE THE MAN I FELL IN LOVE WITH. 303 00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,664 WELL, THIS WORKS FOR ME, AND WALK AWAY. 304 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,528 UHH! 305 00:14:59,529 --> 00:15:00,970 AAH! 306 00:15:00,971 --> 00:15:01,971 JIM. NO. 307 00:15:01,972 --> 00:15:03,602 COME ON. NO! 308 00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,604 HOW MANY MORE WAYS CAN I APOLOGIZE? 309 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,606 LISTEN TO ME. THE FIRST RULE OF DUMPIN' A PSYCHO 310 00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,338 IS YOU NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND! 311 00:15:09,339 --> 00:15:12,341 COME ON. THE IMPORTANT THING IS YOU GOT RID OF HER. 312 00:15:12,342 --> 00:15:14,183 EVERYTHING'S FINE. 313 00:15:14,184 --> 00:15:15,184 OH. 314 00:15:15,185 --> 00:15:17,186 STILL FRIENDS, CHICK WHISPERER? 315 00:15:17,187 --> 00:15:18,618 OH, SHUT UP. 316 00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:21,690 HI, HONEY. HEY. 317 00:15:21,691 --> 00:15:23,422 LOOK, WE HAVE COMPANY. 318 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,355 OH, HI... (gasps) 319 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:31,161 WELL, I'M OUTTA HERE. I'LL BE IN MY PANIC ROOM. 320 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,705 STEPHANIE WAS NICE ENOUGH TO COME OVER 321 00:15:36,706 --> 00:15:38,707 AND INTRODUCE HERSELF TO ME, 322 00:15:38,708 --> 00:15:41,170 AND THEN SHE INSISTED ON DOING MY NAILS. 323 00:15:41,171 --> 00:15:43,672 WELL, SHE DOESN'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. 324 00:15:43,673 --> 00:15:45,544 (laughs) 325 00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,546 OH, WELL, I GOTTA RUN. OH. 326 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,519 CHERYL, IT WAS GREAT MEETING YOU. OH, YOU, TOO. 327 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,683 AND, JIM... I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 328 00:16:01,191 --> 00:16:03,192 OH. NICE GIRL. 329 00:16:03,193 --> 00:16:06,965 I'M NOT SURE IT'S GONNA WORK OUT FOR HER AND ANDY, THOUGH. 330 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,967 NO, YEAH. I THINK THEY HIT KIND OF A ROCKY PATCH, 331 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,140 BUT, YOU KNOW, THOSE KIDS WILL WORK IT OUT. 332 00:16:11,141 --> 00:16:14,404 YEAH. WE HAVE THOSE PATCHES SOMETIMES, DON'T WE, HONEY? 333 00:16:16,206 --> 00:16:20,079 YOU KNOW, WHILE... WHILE STEPHANIE WAS GIVING ME MY MANICURE, 334 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,182 SHE TOLD ME SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU. 335 00:16:27,357 --> 00:16:29,359 WEIRD! 336 00:16:32,122 --> 00:16:35,094 WHY... WHY WAS SHE GIVIN' YOU A MANICURE? 337 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,096 OH, IT'S SWEET, ACTUALLY. 338 00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:40,429 SHE WANTS ME TO LOOK PRETTY NOW THAT I'M GONNA BE SINGLE. 339 00:16:40,430 --> 00:16:43,102 YEAH. SHE SAID WITH MY LOOKS, 340 00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,774 I SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE LANDING ANOTHER MAN, 341 00:16:45,775 --> 00:16:47,776 WHICH RIGHT NOW IS PRETTY APPEALING! 342 00:16:47,777 --> 00:16:49,108 AW, COME ON, CHERYL. 343 00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,310 OH, COME ON, JIM, WHAT DID YOU DO?! 344 00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,312 NOTHING! I DIDN'T DO A THING! 345 00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:55,645 SHE JUST JUMPED ON ME AND KISSED ME. 346 00:16:57,347 --> 00:16:59,348 SHE KISSED YOU?! 347 00:16:59,349 --> 00:17:01,390 ALL RIGHT. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES 348 00:17:01,391 --> 00:17:04,093 YOU GOTTA LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH YOU KNOW. 349 00:17:04,094 --> 00:17:06,655 OKAY. AHEM. I KNOW THAT THE CHICK WHISPERER 350 00:17:06,656 --> 00:17:08,657 SET MY BROTHER UP WITH A PSYCHO, 351 00:17:08,658 --> 00:17:10,659 AND NOW SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU! 352 00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:13,533 OKAY, YOU'RE UP TO SPEED. 353 00:17:15,365 --> 00:17:18,167 LOOK, CHERYL, I-I-UH... 354 00:17:18,168 --> 00:17:21,110 I-I GOTTA TELL YOU, I-I TALKED TO HER, YOU KNOW? 355 00:17:21,111 --> 00:17:23,112 SHE'S... I TOLD HER I'M NOT INTERESTED. 356 00:17:23,113 --> 00:17:25,114 WELL, APPARENTLY, IT DIDN'T WORK. 357 00:17:25,115 --> 00:17:27,116 WHAT CAN I DO? HOW CAN I HELP IT? 358 00:17:27,117 --> 00:17:30,419 I GOT THIS CHARISMA GOIN' FOR ME ALL THE TIME. 359 00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:32,421 JIM! THERE WAS A CRAZY WOMAN IN OUR HOME! 360 00:17:32,422 --> 00:17:34,423 HOW COULD YOU LET HER INTO OUR LIFE? 361 00:17:34,424 --> 00:17:36,355 WELL, WHY DID YOU LET HER DO YOUR NAILS? 362 00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,827 I WAS SCARED! 363 00:17:38,828 --> 00:17:41,660 AND I HAVE A P.T.A. MEETING TOMORROW. 364 00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,662 OH, CHERYL. 365 00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:47,096 LOOK, JIM, EITHER YOU GET RID OF HER, OR I WILL. 366 00:17:47,097 --> 00:17:48,537 OOH, CHICK FIGHT? 367 00:17:48,538 --> 00:17:52,501 NO! AND EVEN IF THERE WERE, I WOULDN'T LET YOU WATCH. 368 00:17:52,502 --> 00:17:54,503 ALL RIGHT, CHERYL, ALL RIGHT. 369 00:17:54,504 --> 00:17:56,745 I'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHIN'. OKAY. 370 00:17:56,746 --> 00:17:58,107 I NEED TO PUT SOME STEW IN MY BELLY, 371 00:17:58,108 --> 00:18:03,353 AND... AND I'LL COME UP WITH A PLAN. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 372 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,786 ON SECOND THOUGHT, LET'S GO OUT TO DINNER. 373 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,619 GET THE KIDS. 374 00:18:11,261 --> 00:18:14,193 OH, COME ON. LET ME FIND ANOTHER GUY FOR YOU. 375 00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:17,596 I'M REALLY GOOD AT IT. I'M KINDA LIKE A DUDE WHISPERER. 376 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,598 HOW 'BOUT THAT GUY RIGHT THERE? 377 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,600 HE LOOKS YOUNG AND STRONG. 378 00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,101 THE BUSBOY? 379 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,803 THE BUSBOY WITH DREAMS. 380 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,805 HE COULD BE PRESIDENT ONE DAY 381 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,508 IF THERE WAS THE RIGHT WOMAN TO INSPIRE HIM... 382 00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,310 OR AT LEAST, YOU KNOW, 383 00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:34,783 HEAD WAITER OR MAîTRE D'. 384 00:18:34,784 --> 00:18:36,145 NOPE. 385 00:18:36,146 --> 00:18:38,147 OH! STILL YOU. 386 00:18:38,148 --> 00:18:40,419 COME ON. 387 00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,790 YOU WERE RIGHT. HE'S GETTIN' NOWHERE. 388 00:18:41,791 --> 00:18:43,121 MM-HMM. 389 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,123 YOUR NAILS HAVE NEVER LOOKED BETTER, BY THE WAY. 390 00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,125 OH, THANK YOU. 391 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,127 SO YOU READY TO OUT-CRAZY THE CRAZY? 392 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,129 YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT JIM? HE DOESN'T KNOW THE PLAN. 393 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,131 OH, HE'LL CATCH ON. I'M GOIN' IN. 394 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,133 HEY, ON YOUR WAY, CHECK OUT THAT BUSBOY. 395 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,767 ALREADY BEEN THERE. YOU THINK I'M BLIND? 396 00:18:58,768 --> 00:19:00,269 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. 397 00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:04,374 STEPHANIE, I WILL GIVE YOU $20 TO GO. 398 00:19:05,815 --> 00:19:07,816 CASH. 399 00:19:07,817 --> 00:19:11,550 HOW CAN I GO WHEN WE'RE SOUL MATES? 400 00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:15,324 CASH. HI, STEPH... JIM. 401 00:19:15,325 --> 00:19:16,925 CHERYL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 402 00:19:16,926 --> 00:19:19,358 YEAH. HAS SHE PASSED THE TEST? 403 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,929 UH... 404 00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:22,931 WE REJECT ALL THE NEW GIRLS THREE TIMES. 405 00:19:22,932 --> 00:19:25,535 IF THEY STAY, THEN WE KNOW THEY'RE TRUE. 406 00:19:28,198 --> 00:19:30,940 YOU HAVE SUCH PRETTY HAIR. 407 00:19:33,543 --> 00:19:35,574 AHEM. 408 00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:38,877 ALL RIGHT. YOU SEEM TO KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOIN' WITH THIS. 409 00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,879 IS THIS THE NEW GIRL? 410 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,381 YEAH. OH. 411 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:46,255 YOU WERE RIGHT, WIFE NUMBER ONE. 412 00:19:46,256 --> 00:19:48,657 SHE DOES HAVE PRETTY HAIR. 413 00:19:48,658 --> 00:19:49,718 YEAH. 414 00:19:49,719 --> 00:19:52,691 JIM ALWAYS CHOOSES SO WELL. MM-HMM. 415 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,693 YES, I CHOOSE WELL. YOU SEE, UH, 416 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,695 YOU SEE, I GO OUT AND I FIND ATTRACTIVE WOMEN 417 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,198 AND I GIVE THEM SHIRTS. 418 00:20:00,970 --> 00:20:02,971 AND MARRY THEM. 419 00:20:02,972 --> 00:20:05,574 AND KEEP THEM IN YOUR BASEMENT. 420 00:20:05,575 --> 00:20:07,576 YES! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DO. 421 00:20:07,577 --> 00:20:10,409 I MARRY 'EM AND I PUT 'EM IN THE BASEMENT. 422 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,910 THAT'S WHAT I DO. 423 00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,211 NUMBER TWO, 424 00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,213 DO YOU HAVE HER UNIFORM? 425 00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:19,319 YES. WELCOME, NUMBER 11. 426 00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:25,524 NOW, NUMBER 11, HAVE YOU HAD RED MEAT IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS? 427 00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:26,695 YEAH, WHY? 428 00:20:26,696 --> 00:20:28,657 OH. OH. 429 00:20:28,658 --> 00:20:30,999 WELL, UH, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO BE CLEANSED. 430 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,230 (Cheryl) MM. 431 00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,963 NUMBER TEN ISN'T GONNA BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT. 432 00:20:34,964 --> 00:20:37,666 (laughs) HA! 433 00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:40,970 DID SOMEONE SAY "CLEANSED"? 434 00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:50,248 OKAY, THIS IS GETTING WEIRD. 435 00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,681 WHAT... WHAT'S SO WEIRD ABOUT ME AND MY SISTERS 436 00:20:52,682 --> 00:20:54,683 BEING MARRIED TO JIM? 437 00:20:54,684 --> 00:20:57,025 (Andy) PRETTY HAIR. 438 00:20:57,026 --> 00:21:00,860 SO, UH, NUMBER 11, WHAT DO YOU SAY? YOU IN? 439 00:21:02,892 --> 00:21:05,895 AND WALK AWAY. 440 00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,471 (All) YES! 441 00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:14,473 YEAH! THERE YOU GO! 442 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,345 TRY IT AGAIN! THERE YOU GO! 443 00:21:16,346 --> 00:21:22,411 AH, WHOO! MAN, WHAT A CREEPO! A CREEPO! 444 00:21:22,412 --> 00:21:24,413 DRINKS ARE ON ME. 445 00:21:24,414 --> 00:21:26,485 OH, GREAT. I'LL HAVE THE USUAL... A COSMO. 446 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:29,889 NO SURPRISE THERE. 29853

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