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1
00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:05,275
SO, BERNICE, UH...
2
00:00:05,276 --> 00:00:08,007
ANDY SAYS THAT
YOU GUYS MET AT COULIER'S.
3
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,009
DO YOU GO THERE OFTEN?
4
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,481
EVERY OTHER TUESDAY.
(Cheryl) MM.
5
00:00:11,482 --> 00:00:13,183
IT'S D.M.V. EMPLOYEE NIGHT,
6
00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:16,046
SO THE WHOLE GANG
GOES DOWN THERE.
7
00:00:16,047 --> 00:00:18,048
OH. (chuckles) WELL, DO THEY
8
00:00:18,049 --> 00:00:20,050
MAKE YOU STAND AT THE BAR
FOR 40 MINUTES
9
00:00:20,051 --> 00:00:24,155
AND THEN TELL YOU YOU DON'T HAVE
THE RIGHT FORM FOR THE DRINK?
10
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:33,264
OUR AVERAGE WAIT TIME
IS 18 MINUTES.
11
00:00:34,705 --> 00:00:38,808
OKAY, UH, BERNICE,
MAY I OFFER YOU MORE COFFEE?
12
00:00:38,809 --> 00:00:42,042
ACTUALLY, BERNICE HAS
A SERIOUS BLADDER ISSUE.
13
00:00:43,774 --> 00:00:46,217
FOUND THAT OUT
AT THE DRIVE-IN.
14
00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,180
HEY, GUYS. I'M SO SORRY.
I FELL ASLEEP WITH THE GIRLS.
15
00:00:50,181 --> 00:00:51,521
(Cheryl) OH.
16
00:00:51,522 --> 00:00:55,555
COULD BE CHRONIC FATIGUE
OR DEPRESSION. I HAVE BOTH.
17
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,827
HI, I'M DANA.
BERNICE.
18
00:00:57,828 --> 00:01:00,290
HI. SORRY,
MY ARM FELL ASLEEP.
19
00:01:00,291 --> 00:01:02,163
OW!
OH!
20
00:01:05,836 --> 00:01:09,399
I AM SO SORRY.
21
00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:11,801
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
WE ALL WANTED TO DO THAT.
22
00:01:11,802 --> 00:01:13,843
DANA! OH, MY GOD!
23
00:01:13,844 --> 00:01:16,176
BERNICE, ARE YOU OKAY?
24
00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:19,749
I'VE GOT TEMPORAL
MANDIBULAR SYNDROME.
25
00:01:19,750 --> 00:01:22,812
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL IT A NIGHT.
26
00:01:22,813 --> 00:01:25,685
THANKS, ANDY. YOU ARE SO KIND.
27
00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:27,857
YEAH.
28
00:01:27,858 --> 00:01:30,090
SEE YA.
29
00:01:32,563 --> 00:01:40,563
♪♪♪
30
00:01:41,432 --> 00:01:45,505
ANDY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DATING SOME D.M.V. CHICK?
31
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,507
I THOUGHT YOUR LOW POINT
WAS WHEN YOUR MAIL ORDER BRIDE
32
00:01:47,508 --> 00:01:50,780
LEFT YOU TO GO BACK
TO HER WAR-TORN HOMELAND.
33
00:01:50,781 --> 00:01:53,743
SHE DIDN'T LEAVE ME.
THEY CALLED UP HER UNIT.
34
00:01:53,744 --> 00:01:54,744
(Jim) OH.
35
00:01:54,745 --> 00:01:56,786
ANDY. ANDY...
36
00:01:56,787 --> 00:01:58,788
WOULD YOU JUST LET ME
SET YOU UP WITH CONNIE
37
00:01:58,789 --> 00:02:01,291
FROM OUR YOGA CLASS?
YOU GUYS HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
38
00:02:01,292 --> 00:02:03,853
YOU... YOU CAN'T PUT
TWO DESPERATE LOSERS TOGETHER
39
00:02:03,854 --> 00:02:06,125
AND EXPECT SOMETHIN'
TO HAPPEN.
40
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,829
JIM...
CONNIE IS NOT A LOSER.
41
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:13,463
CHERYL, PUTTING PEOPLE
TOGETHER IS AN ART.
42
00:02:13,464 --> 00:02:17,167
IT'S A SCIENCE. IT'S A...
ART-SCIENCE, IF YOU WILL.
43
00:02:17,168 --> 00:02:19,169
ALL RIGHT? YOU NEED...
YOU NEED SOMEONE WITH WISDOM
44
00:02:19,170 --> 00:02:21,441
AND EXPERIENCE TO HELP YOU
FIND THE RIGHT GIRL.
45
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,314
OKAY, AND LET ME GUESS.
THAT SOMEONE IS YOU.
46
00:02:24,315 --> 00:02:27,247
CHERYL, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO GUESS. IT IS ME.
47
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:28,248
RIGHT.
48
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,250
YOU KNOW.
ANDREW, LISTEN TO ME.
49
00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:33,753
I COME FROM A... A LONG
TRADITION, ALL RIGHT? AHEM.
50
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,887
THE EARLY SETTLERS USED
TO CALL US "CHICK WHISPERERS."
51
00:02:38,629 --> 00:02:42,161
WE THRIVED ON THIS CONTINENT
FOR... FOR CENTURIES.
52
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,163
AND THEN WHEN THEY CUT DOWN
ALL THE FORESTS,
53
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:47,267
WE KIND OF MIGRATED
INTO THE SINGLES BARS.
54
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:49,269
WELL, WHATEVER I'M DOIN' NOW
ISN'T WORKIN'.
55
00:02:49,270 --> 00:02:51,271
WHAT DO I GOT TO LOSE?
56
00:02:51,272 --> 00:02:53,644
50 POUNDS
AND A PORN ADDICTION?
57
00:02:55,346 --> 00:02:58,908
ANDY, JIM DOES NOT KNOW
WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT.
58
00:02:58,909 --> 00:03:00,780
(Jim) WHAT?
I'M VERY GOOD AT THIS.
59
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,782
MY FRIENDS CALL ME
"THE MATCHMAKER."
60
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:04,214
MATCHMAKER?
YES!
61
00:03:04,215 --> 00:03:06,586
JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN PUT
A SHIRT AND PANTS TOGETHER
62
00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,958
DOESN'T MAKE YOU A MATCHMAKER.
63
00:03:08,959 --> 00:03:10,960
HEY, HEY, HEY, HEY, ANDY,
THINK ABOUT IT.
64
00:03:10,961 --> 00:03:14,594
WOULD YOU RATHER TAKE ADVICE
FROM A GUY WHO MARRIED UP
65
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,597
OR A WOMAN WHO MARRIED DOWN?
66
00:03:19,570 --> 00:03:21,371
SORRY, SIS.
67
00:03:21,372 --> 00:03:23,874
AAH!
68
00:03:30,941 --> 00:03:33,843
SO I JUST TALK INTO THIS BUTTON
ON MY CUFF AND YOU'LL HEAR ME?
69
00:03:33,844 --> 00:03:36,215
YEAH, YEAH. SEE? HERE.
70
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,217
I GOT THE RECEIVER
IN MY EAR HERE.
71
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,219
IT'LL PICK UP
EVERYTHING.
72
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,621
GO AHEAD, TEST IT OUT.
73
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,553
HELLO, CHICAGO!
OW!
74
00:03:43,554 --> 00:03:45,625
ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!
OW!
75
00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,226
STUPID JERK!
76
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:48,528
AAH.
77
00:03:48,529 --> 00:03:51,361
COME ON.
STAY FOCUSED HERE.
78
00:03:51,362 --> 00:03:52,962
YOU WANNA FIND A WOMAN
OF QUALITY OR NOT?
79
00:03:52,963 --> 00:03:55,565
YEAH, OF COURSE, OF
COURSE. ALL RIGHT. OKAY, OKAY.
80
00:03:55,566 --> 00:03:59,569
CHECK OUT THE REDHEAD
BEHIND ME.
81
00:03:59,570 --> 00:04:01,411
OOH. PRETTY.
82
00:04:01,412 --> 00:04:03,973
NO ADAM'S APPLE.
I'M SEEING GREEN LIGHTS.
83
00:04:03,974 --> 00:04:06,746
WRONG, WRONG. WHAT'S SHE
DRINKIN'? WHAT'S SHE DRINKIN'?
84
00:04:06,747 --> 00:04:08,748
LEMON DROP MARTINI.
85
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,750
RIGHT. HIGH MAINTENANCE.
86
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:14,424
WE WANNA FIND A GIRL
WHO'S DRINKIN' WHITE WINE.
87
00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:16,426
YES, YES, YES. WHITE WINE.
88
00:04:16,427 --> 00:04:18,428
EDUCATED AND UNPRETENTIOUS.
MM-HMM.
89
00:04:18,429 --> 00:04:21,931
OOH, OOH, OOH, JIM! JIM!
LOOK! HOW ABOUT HER?
90
00:04:21,932 --> 00:04:23,893
YOU GOT A GOOD EYE,
91
00:04:23,894 --> 00:04:25,895
BUT SHE'S CHEWIN' PRETTY HARD
ON THAT STRAW.
92
00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:27,967
IT MEANS
SHE'S AN ANGRY WOMAN.
93
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,969
ALL RIGHT? DO YOU WANT
AN ANGRY WOMAN?
94
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,872
SOMETIMES IT'S NICE.
95
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:40,510
BINGO. HOT CHICK RIGHT THERE
IN THE RED TOP.
96
00:04:40,511 --> 00:04:41,881
OH, BUT SHE'S GORGEOUS.
97
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,883
WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE.
YOU WANT ME TO HELP YA,
98
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:45,885
OR DO YOU WANNA DRIVE DOWN
TO THE TRAIN YARD
99
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:48,418
AND FIND A GIRL
WHO'S RUBBIN' HER HANDS
100
00:04:48,419 --> 00:04:50,420
OVER A BURNING TRASH CAN?
101
00:04:50,421 --> 00:04:53,463
SOMETIMES IT'S NICE.
102
00:04:53,464 --> 00:04:55,595
AH, COME ON.
103
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,597
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
104
00:04:57,598 --> 00:04:59,599
NOW JUST FOLLOW MY
INSTRUCTIONS. YEAH.
105
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:02,902
BE CONFIDENT.
CAN YOU HEAR ME?
106
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,534
(whispers) YES.
OKAY.
107
00:05:04,535 --> 00:05:06,306
NOW PUT YOUR HAND
OVER YOUR HEAD.
108
00:05:07,978 --> 00:05:11,080
SMELL YOUR ARMPIT.
109
00:05:11,081 --> 00:05:13,614
NOW TURN AROUND
AND ADJUST YOUR CROTCH.
110
00:05:18,849 --> 00:05:21,320
JIM! ALL RIGHT!
OW! EASY! OW! JEEZ!
111
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,493
I THOUGHT YOU WERE HELPIN' ME.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
112
00:05:23,494 --> 00:05:26,396
OKAY, NOW LET'S START
WITH A COMPLIMENT.
113
00:05:26,397 --> 00:05:29,930
OKAY, UH, YOU LOOK GREAT
IN THOSE PANTS, JIM.
114
00:05:31,902 --> 00:05:34,003
THE GIRL, THE GIRL.
115
00:05:34,004 --> 00:05:36,766
SAY SOMETHIN' LIKE, UH,
116
00:05:36,767 --> 00:05:39,008
HEAVEN MUST BE MISSING
AN ANGEL TONIGHT
117
00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:41,571
BECAUSE YOU'RE RIGHT HERE
ON EARTH.
118
00:05:41,572 --> 00:05:44,013
I'M NOT SAYING THAT.
THAT'S CORNY.
119
00:05:44,014 --> 00:05:46,976
CORNY IS GOOD.
WOMEN LOVE CORNY. JUST DO IT.
120
00:05:46,977 --> 00:05:49,919
NO WAY!
WHAT?
121
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:54,584
I, UH, I SAID, "OH, HEY."
122
00:05:54,585 --> 00:05:56,556
(chuckles) UH, HEAVEN...
123
00:05:56,557 --> 00:06:00,029
MUST BE MISSIN' AN ANGEL BECAUSE
YOU'RE RIGHT HERE ON EARTH.
124
00:06:00,030 --> 00:06:04,665
THAT'S CORNY,
BUT IT KINDA WORKS.
125
00:06:06,897 --> 00:06:08,398
I'M STEPHANIE.
126
00:06:08,399 --> 00:06:09,899
AND WE'RE IN.
127
00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:11,741
I'M ANDY.
128
00:06:11,742 --> 00:06:13,603
OKAY, NOW COMPLIMENT
HER SHOES.
129
00:06:13,604 --> 00:06:15,746
GUYS DON'T DO IT,
AND WOMEN LOVE IT.
130
00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:26,416
I REALLY DIG THOSE SHOES.
THEY'RE SO STRAPPY.
131
00:06:26,417 --> 00:06:28,418
THANK YOU.
132
00:06:28,419 --> 00:06:30,420
GUYS NEVER NOTICE THAT STUFF.
133
00:06:30,421 --> 00:06:32,662
ARE YOU SOME KIND OF ARTIST
OR SOMETHING?
134
00:06:32,663 --> 00:06:35,124
ACTUALLY, I DID WRITE
A ONE-ACT PLAY...
135
00:06:35,125 --> 00:06:37,627
ANDY, ANDY, "ARTIST" IS CODE.
SHE THINKS YOU'RE GAY.
136
00:06:37,628 --> 00:06:43,003
ENTITLED, "I REALLY LIKE NAKED
WOMEN WHO WEAR STRAPPY SHOES."
137
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:46,006
(laughs)
138
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,409
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
THAT'S GOOD.
139
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:53,483
SO, ANDY, WHAT DO YOU DO
WHEN YOU'RE NOT WRITING PLAYS?
140
00:06:53,484 --> 00:06:55,845
I'M AN ARCHITECT.
OH, REALLY?
141
00:06:55,846 --> 00:06:57,747
WHERE DO YOU WORK?
(Jim) OH, DON'T ANSWER THAT.
142
00:06:57,748 --> 00:07:00,590
THE LESS YOU SAY, THE MORE
INTRIGUED SHE'LL BECOME.
143
00:07:00,591 --> 00:07:02,992
ANYWHERE SOMEONE NEEDS
A BUILDING.
144
00:07:02,993 --> 00:07:06,896
OH, WITTY, TOO.
I'M INTRIGUED.
145
00:07:06,897 --> 00:07:08,898
(Jim) OH, YES.
146
00:07:08,899 --> 00:07:11,060
WE GOT THE SHOULDER PAT.
SHE LIKES YOU.
147
00:07:11,061 --> 00:07:14,764
ALL RIGHT.
GET THE NUMBER AND GET OUT.
148
00:07:14,765 --> 00:07:18,638
UH, TELL HER, UH,
YOU GOT A THING. BE MYSTERIOUS.
149
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:20,640
COULD... COULD I GET
YOUR NUMBER?
150
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,674
I-I GOT A THING.
151
00:07:26,046 --> 00:07:28,948
HERE YOU GO,
BUT YOU'D BETTER CALL ME.
152
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,981
NOW TELL HER TO STAY BEAUTIFUL
AND JUST WALK AWAY.
153
00:07:31,982 --> 00:07:35,986
STAY BEAUTIFUL,
AND JUST WALK AWAY.
154
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:58,848
HEY.
155
00:07:58,849 --> 00:07:59,849
HEY.
156
00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:02,812
OW!
157
00:08:02,813 --> 00:08:05,184
I'M SORRY, ROMEO...
158
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:07,657
COMIN' INTO WORK LATE...
159
00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:09,889
WEARIN' THE SAME CLOTHES
HE HAD ON YESTERDAY.
160
00:08:09,890 --> 00:08:11,891
I'M PROUD OF YA.
161
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,564
I'M STILL DOCKIN' YOUR PAY,
BUT I'M PROUD OF YA.
162
00:08:14,565 --> 00:08:17,567
YEAH, THAT... THAT STEPHANIE'S
QUITE A GIRL.
163
00:08:17,568 --> 00:08:19,569
UH-HUH. YEAH, BUT I'M
NOT TOO SURE ABOUT HER.
164
00:08:19,570 --> 00:08:21,731
SHE'S GOT A FEW,
UH, QUIRKS.
165
00:08:21,732 --> 00:08:23,733
WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?
166
00:08:23,734 --> 00:08:25,735
I FIND YOU
THIS REALLY HOT CHICK
167
00:08:25,736 --> 00:08:28,077
AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT
A FEW QUIRKS? QUIRKS LIKE WHAT?
168
00:08:28,078 --> 00:08:30,079
OKAY, SHE INSISTS
169
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,812
ON PUTTING TOOTHPASTE
ON MY TOOTHBRUSH FOR ME.
170
00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:36,616
PFFT. COME ON. THAT'S JUST
BEING CARING, THAT'S ALL.
171
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:38,147
THEN SHE FLOSSES ME.
172
00:08:38,148 --> 00:08:40,890
SHE'S WORRIED
ABOUT YOUR GUMS.
173
00:08:40,891 --> 00:08:42,892
THEN SHE SAVES THE FLOSS
IN A JAR
174
00:08:42,893 --> 00:08:45,025
LABELED "PIECES OF ANDY."
175
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:49,929
OKAY, THAT'S A LITTLE CRAZY.
176
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:53,062
EXACTLY. I'M JUST NOT SURE IT'S GONNA
WORK OUT. NO, NO, NO, NO. COME HERE,
177
00:08:53,063 --> 00:08:55,605
COME HERE, COME HERE. NEW LESSON
FROM THE CHICK WHISPERER HERE.
178
00:08:55,606 --> 00:08:58,568
LISTEN, ANDY,
ALL WOMEN ARE CRAZY.
179
00:08:58,569 --> 00:09:01,070
REALLY?
YES, THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.
180
00:09:01,071 --> 00:09:04,574
THERE IS A DIRECT RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN HOW HOT A CHICK IS
181
00:09:04,575 --> 00:09:06,576
AND HOW MUCH CRAZY
TO TOLERATE.
182
00:09:06,577 --> 00:09:11,180
WELL, JIM, SHE IS THE HOTTEST
GIRL I'VE EVER DATED.
183
00:09:11,181 --> 00:09:14,584
OKAY,
THEN SHE'S ACCEPTABLY CRAZY.
184
00:09:14,585 --> 00:09:18,958
ACCEPTABLY CRAZY.
OKAY, I GET THAT. THANKS.
185
00:09:18,959 --> 00:09:19,959
THANKS...
186
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,061
THANKS, CHICK WHISPERER.
187
00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:24,293
AH.
188
00:09:24,294 --> 00:09:25,294
HI, ANDY.
189
00:09:25,295 --> 00:09:26,295
OH.
190
00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:27,296
JIM.
191
00:09:27,297 --> 00:09:28,938
OH, HI, STEPHANIE.
192
00:09:28,939 --> 00:09:30,840
HEY, STEPHANIE.
UH, WHAT... WHAT BRINGS YOU BY?
193
00:09:30,841 --> 00:09:32,842
WELL, I HAD A SWEET TOOTH,
194
00:09:32,843 --> 00:09:35,645
AND I WANT SOME ANDY CANDY.
195
00:09:35,646 --> 00:09:39,610
MMM, MMM, MMM, MMM.
196
00:09:43,714 --> 00:09:45,085
HI.
197
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:49,358
I-I-I-I'M SUPPOSED
TO BE SOMEPLACE...
198
00:09:49,359 --> 00:09:53,663
THAT'S NOT THIS PLACE.
199
00:09:53,664 --> 00:09:56,295
SO, GORGEOUS...
200
00:09:56,296 --> 00:09:57,997
YEAH?
CAN I HAVE SOMETHING
201
00:09:57,998 --> 00:09:59,999
TO CARRY AROUND
THAT REMINDS ME OF YOU?
202
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:04,033
OH, WELL, I DO HAVE SOME
PICTURES OF ME WITH TONY DANZA.
203
00:10:04,034 --> 00:10:07,036
WELL, I WAS THINKIN'
OF SOMETHIN'
204
00:10:07,037 --> 00:10:10,109
A LITTLE MORE PERSONAL,
LIKE MAYBE SOME OF YOUR HAIR.
205
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:13,112
OKAY, I GUESS WE COULD
TAKE A SNIP OF MY...
206
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,144
(gasps)
(gasps) OH.
207
00:10:15,145 --> 00:10:16,185
AAH!
208
00:10:16,186 --> 00:10:18,187
OH, YES.
209
00:10:18,188 --> 00:10:19,188
OH!
210
00:10:19,189 --> 00:10:21,752
YES, YES.
211
00:10:23,153 --> 00:10:24,223
AH.
212
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:29,960
NOW YOUR CHEST
WILL BE ON MINE ALL DAY.
213
00:10:31,862 --> 00:10:35,835
(giggles)
214
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,837
I LOVE YOU... I CAN'T BELIEVE
I JUST SAID THAT.
215
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,840
THAT WAS ME, RIGHT? OHH!
216
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:48,077
ACCEPTABLY CRAZY.
217
00:10:48,078 --> 00:10:51,651
AH.
218
00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:57,186
HEY, HONEY,
HAVE YOU TALKED TO ANDY?
219
00:10:57,187 --> 00:10:59,658
DO YOU KNOW IF HE'S COMING OVER
FOR DINNER?
220
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:03,662
OH, I THINK THAT'S DOUBTFUL.
YOUNG ANDREW IS FEEDING ON LOVE.
221
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:07,036
ALSO, HE HAD A BUCKET OF CHICKEN
AROUND 4:00 AT WORK.
222
00:11:07,037 --> 00:11:09,198
YEAH, YOU KNOW, HE DOES SEEM
REALLY HAPPY LATELY.
223
00:11:09,199 --> 00:11:12,671
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HIS ROLE
IN THE FAMILY IS ANYMORE.
224
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,945
I GOTTA ADMIT,
YOU DID A GREAT JOB, JIM.
225
00:11:15,946 --> 00:11:19,448
JIM? JIM WHO?
226
00:11:19,449 --> 00:11:21,751
WHAT IS MY PIONEER NAME?
227
00:11:21,752 --> 00:11:24,955
GREAT JOB, CHICK WHISPERER.
228
00:11:26,957 --> 00:11:29,959
(Cheryl)
OH, THERE HE IS. HELLO!
229
00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:32,221
WE WANNA HEAR ALL ABOUT
YOUR STEPHANIE.
230
00:11:32,222 --> 00:11:34,363
(laughs)
231
00:11:34,364 --> 00:11:36,365
A GENTLEMAN NEVER TALKS.
232
00:11:36,366 --> 00:11:37,997
COME ON! COME ON!
COME ON!
233
00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,029
JIM, I NEED TO TALK.
234
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:43,172
OKAY. YOUNG ANDREW
NEEDS SOME ADVICE.
235
00:11:43,173 --> 00:11:45,304
SO MY ADVICE
TO THE MATCHMAKER WOULD BE
236
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:49,038
TRY TO MATCH UP SOMETHING
THAT'S FOR DINNER
237
00:11:49,039 --> 00:11:51,842
THAT WOULD FIT MY TUMMY.
238
00:11:52,943 --> 00:11:55,714
HERE'S A HINT...
239
00:11:55,715 --> 00:12:00,019
STEW.
240
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:03,122
YOU KNOW, STEW DOES SOUND
REALLY GOOD. JIM'S ON A ROLL.
241
00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:04,123
YEAH.
242
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,955
HEY, BUD, WHAT'S UP?
243
00:12:05,956 --> 00:12:08,899
(chuckles)
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S UP.
244
00:12:15,305 --> 00:12:18,037
THAT'S KINDA SEXY.
245
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,039
WHAT? NO, IT WASN'T...
IT WASN'T SO SEXY
246
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,813
WHEN STEPHANIE LEFT ME
LOCKED UP FOR FOUR HOURS.
247
00:12:23,814 --> 00:12:25,815
AH, MAYBE SHE MISPLACED
THE KEY.
248
00:12:25,816 --> 00:12:27,817
PEOPLE LOSE KEYS.
LET HER SLIDE.
249
00:12:27,818 --> 00:12:31,051
OH, YEAH? OH, REALLY?
SHOULD I LET THIS SLIDE?
250
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,956
THIS IS HENNA.
IT WON'T COME OFF FOR WEEKS.
251
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:40,860
JIM, IS THIS STILL
ACCEPTABLY CRAZY?
252
00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:43,232
DOES SHE COOK?
JIM.
253
00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:44,894
LAUNDRY?
JIM!
254
00:12:44,895 --> 00:12:46,896
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, DUMP HER, DUMP HER.
255
00:12:46,897 --> 00:12:48,767
YOU'RE RIGHT.
THAT IS A LITTLE CRAZY.
256
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,539
BUT I'M SCARED, JIM.
WHAT?
257
00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:53,472
I TALKED HER INTO HENNA.
SHE WANTED TO BRAND ME.
258
00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,474
OH, COME ON. THIS IS
NO TIME TO PANIC, ANDY.
259
00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:58,277
OH, REALLY, JIM? REALLY?
NO.
260
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,349
SO TELL ME... TELL ME,
WHEN IS THE TIME TO PANIC?
261
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:04,183
WHEN SHE WANTS TO HOOK
HER CAR BATTERY UP TO MY BOYS?
262
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,185
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
263
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,287
I'LL... I'LL HELP YOU
GET RID OF HER.
264
00:13:08,288 --> 00:13:10,119
I WAS JUST SO FOOLED.
265
00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:13,092
I MEAN, SHE WAS HOT...
SHE LIKED CORNY...
266
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,094
DRINKIN' WHITE WINE...
267
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,067
NO, NO, NO. HER FRIEND
WAS DRINKIN' WHITE WINE.
268
00:13:18,068 --> 00:13:20,069
SHE WAS DRINKIN' A COSMO.
269
00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:22,071
(gasps) A COSMO?
270
00:13:22,072 --> 00:13:25,405
OH, MY FRIEND, YOU'RE LUCKY
YOU GOT OUT OF THERE ALIVE.
271
00:13:32,282 --> 00:13:35,284
SO, STEPH,
IT'S NOT YOU. IT'S ME.
272
00:13:35,285 --> 00:13:36,946
OKAY. GOOD, GOOD.
273
00:13:36,947 --> 00:13:39,188
TELL HER YOU'RE NOT READY
FOR A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW,
274
00:13:39,189 --> 00:13:42,291
AND THEN BE PREPARED
TO DODGE A SLAP.
275
00:13:42,292 --> 00:13:44,894
(chair scrapes floor)
276
00:13:44,895 --> 00:13:46,896
STEPHANIE, THE ANDYMAN'S
A LONE WOLF.
277
00:13:46,897 --> 00:13:48,898
IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT WOLVES,
278
00:13:48,899 --> 00:13:50,900
WE NEED TO ROAM FREE.
279
00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:52,902
THIS WAS MY FAULT.
280
00:13:52,903 --> 00:13:54,904
I PUSHED THINGS TOO FAST.
281
00:13:54,905 --> 00:13:58,607
WHY DON'T WE JUST HANG OUT
AND HAVE LOTS OF SEX?
282
00:13:58,608 --> 00:14:01,971
IS THAT AN OPTION?
(Jim) ANDY, IT'S A TRICK.
283
00:14:01,972 --> 00:14:04,273
TELL HER IT'S OVER,
AND THEN JUST WALK AWAY.
284
00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:09,119
STEPH, IT'S OVER,
AND JUST WALK AWAY.
285
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:12,982
WHAT DON'T YOU GET
ABOUT THAT?!
286
00:14:12,983 --> 00:14:14,954
HERE'S THE THING, ANDY.
287
00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:17,126
IT'S NOT OVER
UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER.
288
00:14:17,127 --> 00:14:20,029
UH, JIM, MAYDAY, MAYDAY.
289
00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:21,160
AAH, AAH!
290
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:23,162
YOU'RE PART OF ME.
291
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:25,094
EVERY WORD YOU EVER SAID
PROVED IT.
292
00:14:25,095 --> 00:14:28,367
BUT THOSE WEREN'T MY WORDS.
THEY WERE HIS.
293
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:31,100
HI.
JIM?
294
00:14:31,101 --> 00:14:34,443
YEAH, IT... IT'S TRUE, STEPHANIE.
I TOLD HIM WHAT TO SAY
295
00:14:34,444 --> 00:14:36,445
THROUGH THIS LITTLE MICROPHONE
HERE IN MY CUFF.
296
00:14:36,446 --> 00:14:38,507
WHAT? YOU DIDN'T
FALL IN LOVE WITH ANDY.
297
00:14:38,508 --> 00:14:41,610
YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH THE WORDS
I TOLD HIM TO SAY.
298
00:14:41,611 --> 00:14:44,183
OH.
299
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,884
THEN I LOVE YOU.
300
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:47,156
WHAT?
301
00:14:47,157 --> 00:14:49,158
OH, YEAH.
NO!
302
00:14:49,159 --> 00:14:51,290
YOU'RE THE MAN
I FELL IN LOVE WITH.
303
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:54,664
WELL, THIS WORKS FOR ME,
AND WALK AWAY.
304
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,528
UHH!
305
00:14:59,529 --> 00:15:00,970
AAH!
306
00:15:00,971 --> 00:15:01,971
JIM.
NO.
307
00:15:01,972 --> 00:15:03,602
COME ON.
NO!
308
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,604
HOW MANY MORE WAYS
CAN I APOLOGIZE?
309
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,606
LISTEN TO ME. THE FIRST RULE
OF DUMPIN' A PSYCHO
310
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,338
IS YOU NEVER
LEAVE A MAN BEHIND!
311
00:15:09,339 --> 00:15:12,341
COME ON. THE IMPORTANT THING
IS YOU GOT RID OF HER.
312
00:15:12,342 --> 00:15:14,183
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
313
00:15:14,184 --> 00:15:15,184
OH.
314
00:15:15,185 --> 00:15:17,186
STILL FRIENDS,
CHICK WHISPERER?
315
00:15:17,187 --> 00:15:18,618
OH, SHUT UP.
316
00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:21,690
HI, HONEY.
HEY.
317
00:15:21,691 --> 00:15:23,422
LOOK, WE HAVE COMPANY.
318
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,355
OH, HI...
(gasps)
319
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:31,161
WELL, I'M OUTTA HERE.
I'LL BE IN MY PANIC ROOM.
320
00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,705
STEPHANIE WAS NICE ENOUGH
TO COME OVER
321
00:15:36,706 --> 00:15:38,707
AND INTRODUCE HERSELF TO ME,
322
00:15:38,708 --> 00:15:41,170
AND THEN SHE INSISTED
ON DOING MY NAILS.
323
00:15:41,171 --> 00:15:43,672
WELL, SHE DOESN'T
TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER.
324
00:15:43,673 --> 00:15:45,544
(laughs)
325
00:15:45,545 --> 00:15:47,546
OH, WELL, I GOTTA RUN.
OH.
326
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:50,519
CHERYL, IT WAS GREAT
MEETING YOU. OH, YOU, TOO.
327
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,683
AND, JIM...
I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
328
00:16:01,191 --> 00:16:03,192
OH. NICE GIRL.
329
00:16:03,193 --> 00:16:06,965
I'M NOT SURE IT'S GONNA WORK OUT
FOR HER AND ANDY, THOUGH.
330
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,967
NO, YEAH. I THINK THEY HIT
KIND OF A ROCKY PATCH,
331
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,140
BUT, YOU KNOW, THOSE KIDS
WILL WORK IT OUT.
332
00:16:11,141 --> 00:16:14,404
YEAH. WE HAVE THOSE PATCHES
SOMETIMES, DON'T WE, HONEY?
333
00:16:16,206 --> 00:16:20,079
YOU KNOW, WHILE... WHILE STEPHANIE
WAS GIVING ME MY MANICURE,
334
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,182
SHE TOLD ME
SHE'S IN LOVE WITH YOU.
335
00:16:27,357 --> 00:16:29,359
WEIRD!
336
00:16:32,122 --> 00:16:35,094
WHY... WHY WAS SHE GIVIN' YOU
A MANICURE?
337
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:37,096
OH, IT'S SWEET, ACTUALLY.
338
00:16:37,097 --> 00:16:40,429
SHE WANTS ME TO LOOK PRETTY
NOW THAT I'M GONNA BE SINGLE.
339
00:16:40,430 --> 00:16:43,102
YEAH. SHE SAID WITH MY LOOKS,
340
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:45,774
I SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY TROUBLE
LANDING ANOTHER MAN,
341
00:16:45,775 --> 00:16:47,776
WHICH RIGHT NOW
IS PRETTY APPEALING!
342
00:16:47,777 --> 00:16:49,108
AW, COME ON, CHERYL.
343
00:16:49,109 --> 00:16:51,310
OH, COME ON, JIM,
WHAT DID YOU DO?!
344
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,312
NOTHING!
I DIDN'T DO A THING!
345
00:16:53,313 --> 00:16:55,645
SHE JUST JUMPED ON ME
AND KISSED ME.
346
00:16:57,347 --> 00:16:59,348
SHE KISSED YOU?!
347
00:16:59,349 --> 00:17:01,390
ALL RIGHT.
THIS IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES
348
00:17:01,391 --> 00:17:04,093
YOU GOTTA LET ME KNOW
HOW MUCH YOU KNOW.
349
00:17:04,094 --> 00:17:06,655
OKAY. AHEM. I KNOW
THAT THE CHICK WHISPERER
350
00:17:06,656 --> 00:17:08,657
SET MY BROTHER UP
WITH A PSYCHO,
351
00:17:08,658 --> 00:17:10,659
AND NOW SHE'S IN LOVE
WITH YOU!
352
00:17:10,660 --> 00:17:13,533
OKAY, YOU'RE UP TO SPEED.
353
00:17:15,365 --> 00:17:18,167
LOOK, CHERYL, I-I-UH...
354
00:17:18,168 --> 00:17:21,110
I-I GOTTA TELL YOU,
I-I TALKED TO HER, YOU KNOW?
355
00:17:21,111 --> 00:17:23,112
SHE'S... I TOLD HER
I'M NOT INTERESTED.
356
00:17:23,113 --> 00:17:25,114
WELL, APPARENTLY,
IT DIDN'T WORK.
357
00:17:25,115 --> 00:17:27,116
WHAT CAN I DO?
HOW CAN I HELP IT?
358
00:17:27,117 --> 00:17:30,419
I GOT THIS CHARISMA
GOIN' FOR ME ALL THE TIME.
359
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:32,421
JIM! THERE WAS A CRAZY WOMAN
IN OUR HOME!
360
00:17:32,422 --> 00:17:34,423
HOW COULD YOU
LET HER INTO OUR LIFE?
361
00:17:34,424 --> 00:17:36,355
WELL, WHY DID YOU LET HER
DO YOUR NAILS?
362
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:38,827
I WAS SCARED!
363
00:17:38,828 --> 00:17:41,660
AND I HAVE A P.T.A. MEETING
TOMORROW.
364
00:17:41,661 --> 00:17:43,662
OH, CHERYL.
365
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:47,096
LOOK, JIM, EITHER YOU GET
RID OF HER, OR I WILL.
366
00:17:47,097 --> 00:17:48,537
OOH, CHICK FIGHT?
367
00:17:48,538 --> 00:17:52,501
NO! AND EVEN IF THERE WERE,
I WOULDN'T LET YOU WATCH.
368
00:17:52,502 --> 00:17:54,503
ALL RIGHT, CHERYL,
ALL RIGHT.
369
00:17:54,504 --> 00:17:56,745
I'LL COME UP WITH SOMETHIN'.
OKAY.
370
00:17:56,746 --> 00:17:58,107
I NEED TO PUT SOME STEW
IN MY BELLY,
371
00:17:58,108 --> 00:18:03,353
AND... AND I'LL COME UP WITH
A PLAN. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
372
00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,786
ON SECOND THOUGHT,
LET'S GO OUT TO DINNER.
373
00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:09,619
GET THE KIDS.
374
00:18:11,261 --> 00:18:14,193
OH, COME ON. LET ME
FIND ANOTHER GUY FOR YOU.
375
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:17,596
I'M REALLY GOOD AT IT. I'M KINDA
LIKE A DUDE WHISPERER.
376
00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:19,598
HOW 'BOUT THAT GUY
RIGHT THERE?
377
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,600
HE LOOKS YOUNG AND STRONG.
378
00:18:21,601 --> 00:18:23,101
THE BUSBOY?
379
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,803
THE BUSBOY WITH DREAMS.
380
00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,805
HE COULD BE PRESIDENT ONE DAY
381
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,508
IF THERE WAS THE RIGHT WOMAN
TO INSPIRE HIM...
382
00:18:29,509 --> 00:18:31,310
OR AT LEAST, YOU KNOW,
383
00:18:31,311 --> 00:18:34,783
HEAD WAITER OR MAîTRE D'.
384
00:18:34,784 --> 00:18:36,145
NOPE.
385
00:18:36,146 --> 00:18:38,147
OH!
STILL YOU.
386
00:18:38,148 --> 00:18:40,419
COME ON.
387
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,790
YOU WERE RIGHT.
HE'S GETTIN' NOWHERE.
388
00:18:41,791 --> 00:18:43,121
MM-HMM.
389
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,123
YOUR NAILS HAVE NEVER LOOKED
BETTER, BY THE WAY.
390
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,125
OH, THANK YOU.
391
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,127
SO YOU READY
TO OUT-CRAZY THE CRAZY?
392
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,129
YEAH, BUT WHAT ABOUT JIM?
HE DOESN'T KNOW THE PLAN.
393
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,131
OH, HE'LL CATCH ON.
I'M GOIN' IN.
394
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:55,133
HEY, ON YOUR WAY,
CHECK OUT THAT BUSBOY.
395
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:58,767
ALREADY BEEN THERE.
YOU THINK I'M BLIND?
396
00:18:58,768 --> 00:19:00,269
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
397
00:19:00,270 --> 00:19:04,374
STEPHANIE,
I WILL GIVE YOU $20 TO GO.
398
00:19:05,815 --> 00:19:07,816
CASH.
399
00:19:07,817 --> 00:19:11,550
HOW CAN I GO
WHEN WE'RE SOUL MATES?
400
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:15,324
CASH.
HI, STEPH... JIM.
401
00:19:15,325 --> 00:19:16,925
CHERYL, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
402
00:19:16,926 --> 00:19:19,358
YEAH.
HAS SHE PASSED THE TEST?
403
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,929
UH...
404
00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:22,931
WE REJECT ALL THE NEW GIRLS
THREE TIMES.
405
00:19:22,932 --> 00:19:25,535
IF THEY STAY,
THEN WE KNOW THEY'RE TRUE.
406
00:19:28,198 --> 00:19:30,940
YOU HAVE SUCH PRETTY HAIR.
407
00:19:33,543 --> 00:19:35,574
AHEM.
408
00:19:35,575 --> 00:19:38,877
ALL RIGHT. YOU SEEM TO KNOW
WHERE YOU'RE GOIN' WITH THIS.
409
00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,879
IS THIS THE NEW GIRL?
410
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,381
YEAH.
OH.
411
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:46,255
YOU WERE RIGHT,
WIFE NUMBER ONE.
412
00:19:46,256 --> 00:19:48,657
SHE DOES HAVE PRETTY HAIR.
413
00:19:48,658 --> 00:19:49,718
YEAH.
414
00:19:49,719 --> 00:19:52,691
JIM ALWAYS CHOOSES SO WELL.
MM-HMM.
415
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,693
YES, I CHOOSE WELL.
YOU SEE, UH,
416
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,695
YOU SEE, I GO OUT AND I FIND
ATTRACTIVE WOMEN
417
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,198
AND I GIVE THEM SHIRTS.
418
00:20:00,970 --> 00:20:02,971
AND MARRY THEM.
419
00:20:02,972 --> 00:20:05,574
AND KEEP THEM
IN YOUR BASEMENT.
420
00:20:05,575 --> 00:20:07,576
YES! THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I DO.
421
00:20:07,577 --> 00:20:10,409
I MARRY 'EM AND I PUT 'EM
IN THE BASEMENT.
422
00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,910
THAT'S WHAT I DO.
423
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,211
NUMBER TWO,
424
00:20:13,212 --> 00:20:15,213
DO YOU HAVE HER UNIFORM?
425
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:19,319
YES. WELCOME, NUMBER 11.
426
00:20:21,551 --> 00:20:25,524
NOW, NUMBER 11, HAVE YOU HAD
RED MEAT IN THE LAST 2 WEEKS?
427
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:26,695
YEAH, WHY?
428
00:20:26,696 --> 00:20:28,657
OH.
OH.
429
00:20:28,658 --> 00:20:30,999
WELL, UH, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO BE CLEANSED.
430
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,230
(Cheryl) MM.
431
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,963
NUMBER TEN ISN'T
GONNA BE HAPPY ABOUT THAT.
432
00:20:34,964 --> 00:20:37,666
(laughs)
HA!
433
00:20:37,667 --> 00:20:40,970
DID SOMEONE SAY "CLEANSED"?
434
00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:50,248
OKAY, THIS IS GETTING WEIRD.
435
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:52,681
WHAT... WHAT'S SO WEIRD
ABOUT ME AND MY SISTERS
436
00:20:52,682 --> 00:20:54,683
BEING MARRIED TO JIM?
437
00:20:54,684 --> 00:20:57,025
(Andy) PRETTY HAIR.
438
00:20:57,026 --> 00:21:00,860
SO, UH, NUMBER 11,
WHAT DO YOU SAY? YOU IN?
439
00:21:02,892 --> 00:21:05,895
AND WALK AWAY.
440
00:21:09,268 --> 00:21:12,471
(All) YES!
441
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:14,473
YEAH! THERE YOU GO!
442
00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:16,345
TRY IT AGAIN!
THERE YOU GO!
443
00:21:16,346 --> 00:21:22,411
AH, WHOO! MAN,
WHAT A CREEPO! A CREEPO!
444
00:21:22,412 --> 00:21:24,413
DRINKS ARE ON ME.
445
00:21:24,414 --> 00:21:26,485
OH, GREAT. I'LL HAVE
THE USUAL... A COSMO.
446
00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:29,889
NO SURPRISE THERE.
29853
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