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"ENCYCLOPEDIA BROWN,
BOY DETECTIVE,
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00:00:02,573 --> 00:00:05,675
"THEN SAID,
'I KNOW WHO DID IT.'
3
00:00:05,676 --> 00:00:08,007
"HOW DID ENCYCLOPEDIA KNOW?"
4
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:10,110
TURN TO THE SOLUTION PAGE,
DADDY.
5
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,682
I DON'T NEED TO, HONEY.
I ALREADY KNOW.
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00:00:12,683 --> 00:00:14,184
IT WAS WILFORD WIGGINS.
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00:00:14,185 --> 00:00:17,347
I MEAN, EVERYBODY ELSE'S
ALIBI WAS ROCK-SOLID.
8
00:00:17,348 --> 00:00:20,090
I THINK BUGS MEANY DID IT.
9
00:00:20,091 --> 00:00:23,253
I DON'T THINK SO, KYLE.
10
00:00:23,254 --> 00:00:25,255
HE SAID HE WAS WATCHING TV,
11
00:00:25,256 --> 00:00:28,129
BUT THE POWER WAS OUT
'CAUSE OF THE STORM.
12
00:00:38,309 --> 00:00:42,312
DON'T FEEL BAD, HONEY.
EVEN THE BOOK GOT IT WRONG.
13
00:00:42,313 --> 00:00:50,313
♪♪♪
14
00:00:51,222 --> 00:00:54,125
AHH.
15
00:00:55,826 --> 00:00:58,058
ANDY, I DON'T HEAR
A THING.
16
00:01:00,091 --> 00:01:01,361
OH, THERE WE GO.
17
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:02,832
COME ON, GUYS.
18
00:01:02,833 --> 00:01:04,834
OH, I'M SORRY,
I'M SORRY, MAN.
19
00:01:04,835 --> 00:01:06,836
JUST PLEASE STAY
OUT OF MEDICAL BAG.
20
00:01:06,837 --> 00:01:08,798
WELL, IT WAS RIGHT THERE,
YOU KNOW?
21
00:01:08,799 --> 00:01:11,272
OKAY.
WHO'S GOT MY SPECULUM?
22
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,405
YOU MEAN MY METAL BIRD PUPPET?
23
00:01:15,406 --> 00:01:18,179
CAW! CAW!
24
00:01:20,511 --> 00:01:22,152
HELLO!
25
00:01:22,153 --> 00:01:23,253
HEY.
26
00:01:23,254 --> 00:01:24,754
WHO WANTS TO HEAR
27
00:01:24,755 --> 00:01:27,117
ABOUT THE BEST TRIP
TO THE MARKET EVER?
28
00:01:27,118 --> 00:01:28,518
I DO!
29
00:01:28,519 --> 00:01:30,860
REMEMBER... REMEMBER HOW
I TOLD YOU THE FUJI APPLES
30
00:01:30,861 --> 00:01:33,523
WERE GONNA BE INCREDIBLE
THIS YEAR
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00:01:33,524 --> 00:01:35,525
BECAUSE OF ALL THE RAINFALL
IN JAPAN?
32
00:01:35,526 --> 00:01:37,467
DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVE
SOME OF THOSE APPLES
33
00:01:37,468 --> 00:01:40,099
IN THAT BAG RIGHT NOW.
I DO! I DO.
34
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:43,173
I GOT THERE JUST AS THEY WERE
PUTTING THEM OUT.
35
00:01:43,174 --> 00:01:44,434
ISN'T THAT LUCKY?
36
00:01:44,435 --> 00:01:47,877
HA! LUCKY, HONEY,
OR GOOD SHOPPING?
37
00:01:47,878 --> 00:01:50,680
OH. I GUESS
A LITTLE BIT OF BOTH.
38
00:01:50,681 --> 00:01:52,182
YEAH.
39
00:01:52,183 --> 00:01:54,814
I HOPE THERE'S ROOM
IN THE CRISPER!
40
00:01:54,815 --> 00:01:56,817
OH, FINGERS CROSSED!
41
00:01:58,849 --> 00:02:01,891
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
42
00:02:01,892 --> 00:02:03,893
I MEAN, COME ON,
WERE YOU ACTUALLY LISTENING
43
00:02:03,894 --> 00:02:05,895
TO ANYTHING
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT?
44
00:02:05,896 --> 00:02:07,597
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
45
00:02:07,598 --> 00:02:11,261
COME ON, SHE WENT TO THE MARKET.
I DON'T GIVE A CRAP.
46
00:02:11,262 --> 00:02:14,164
LOOK, IT'S A HUSBAND'S DUTY
47
00:02:14,165 --> 00:02:17,167
TO LISTEN TO THEIR WIFE,
WHATEVER THEY HAVE TO SAY,
48
00:02:17,168 --> 00:02:19,209
EVEN IF IT'S A LITTLE BORING.
49
00:02:19,210 --> 00:02:20,540
YOU KNOW, JIM, I'M TRYING.
50
00:02:20,541 --> 00:02:22,542
I'VE REALLY BEEN TRYING HARD,
YOU KNOW?
51
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:25,515
BUT THEN, YOU KNOW, DANA COMES
HOME AT THE END OF THE DAY,
52
00:02:25,516 --> 00:02:27,817
AND SHE STARTS YAMMERING
ABOUT HER DAY, RIGHT?
53
00:02:27,818 --> 00:02:30,820
AND I TUNE HER OUT, AND THEN
SHE STARTS YELLING AT ME,
54
00:02:30,821 --> 00:02:32,822
WHICH MEANS NO SEXY-SEXY.
55
00:02:32,823 --> 00:02:36,486
OF COURSE NOT.
LISTENING IS THE FOREPLAY.
56
00:02:36,487 --> 00:02:39,158
THERE IS NOTHING HARDER
57
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,830
THAN PRETENDING TO BE INTERESTED
58
00:02:40,831 --> 00:02:43,793
IN YOUR WIFE'S
END-OF-THE-DAY STORIES.
59
00:02:43,794 --> 00:02:46,536
WELL, THEN HELP ME OUT.
HOW DO YOU DO IT?
60
00:02:46,537 --> 00:02:48,868
YOU GOTTA FIND SOMETHING
THAT'S EXTREMELY BORING
61
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,770
AND PAY ATTENTION TO IT.
62
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,772
HEY, ANDY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TONIGHT?
63
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:53,943
NOTHING. WHY?
64
00:02:53,944 --> 00:02:56,646
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE RYAN OUT
FOR A DRINK,
65
00:02:56,647 --> 00:02:59,509
TELL HIM ALL ABOUT
YOUR "STAR TREK" CONVENTION?
66
00:02:59,510 --> 00:03:01,482
OH, HELL, YEAH.
67
00:03:03,214 --> 00:03:05,615
DON'T YOU THINK I SHOULD WORK UP
TO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?
68
00:03:05,616 --> 00:03:07,487
SINK OR SWIM.
69
00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,489
OH, WHAT A DAY IT WAS,
OKAY?
70
00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:11,491
WE'RE AT THE V.F.W. HALL
IN DECATUR.
71
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:14,324
MY FRIEND JEFFREY'S DRESSED
AS A ROMULAN.
72
00:03:14,325 --> 00:03:17,768
I FEEL THIS TUG ON MY CAPE.
I'M THINKING...
73
00:03:18,829 --> 00:03:19,929
AHEM.
74
00:03:19,930 --> 00:03:21,601
OH, MY GOD!
75
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:23,673
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
IN THE KITCHEN.
76
00:03:23,674 --> 00:03:25,905
YOU'RE LIKE A RABBIT.
YOU'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE.
77
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,338
I WAS UPSTAIRS
SHOWING THE APPLES TO THE KIDS.
78
00:03:28,339 --> 00:03:29,509
OH, GREAT!
79
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,710
YEAH, YEAH.
80
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,712
THE BORING APPLES
THAT YOUR BORING WIFE
81
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:35,346
GOT AT THE BORING MARKET.
82
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:39,519
I'M GONNA GO CLEAN OUT
THAT CRISPER.
83
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,892
NO, YOU ARE NOT! HOW COULD
YOU SAY THAT ABOUT ME?
84
00:03:42,893 --> 00:03:44,894
HOW COULD YOU EVEN HEAR ME?
85
00:03:44,895 --> 00:03:47,897
HOW IS IT THAT EVERY TIME
THERE'S SOMETHING I SAY
86
00:03:47,898 --> 00:03:50,560
THAT I DON'T WANT YOU
TO HEAR, YOU HEAR IT?
87
00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:53,232
IT'S LIKE YOU GOT FBI EARS.
YOU WORK FOR THE FBI!
88
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:55,234
WELL, MAYBE IF I WORKED
FOR THE FBI,
89
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:56,836
I WOULDN'T BE SO BORING.
90
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:59,639
WELL, HONEY, OBVIOUSLY, IF YOU
HAD A GUN AND YOU FOUGHT CRIME,
91
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,871
YOU'D BE
A LITTLE MORE INTERESTING.
92
00:04:01,872 --> 00:04:03,873
HONEY, I'M NOT SAYING
YOU'RE BORING.
93
00:04:03,874 --> 00:04:04,974
WELL...
94
00:04:04,975 --> 00:04:06,576
YOU'RE NOT, HONEY.
95
00:04:06,577 --> 00:04:09,579
ALL I'M SAYING IS THAT
AT THE END OF THE DAY,
96
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:11,951
SOMETIMES YOUR STORIES
DON'T SING.
97
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,654
OH, I SEE, AND YOUR
END-OF-THE-DAY STORIES
98
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:15,955
ARE SO FASCINATING.
99
00:04:15,956 --> 00:04:18,888
(deep voice) "HEY, I WENT
TO A LUMBERYARD TODAY."
100
00:04:18,889 --> 00:04:21,491
(imitating Jim grunting)
101
00:04:21,492 --> 00:04:24,534
I DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT,
CHERYL.
102
00:04:24,535 --> 00:04:27,967
EVERYBODY KNOWS
THAT I AM INTERESTING.
103
00:04:27,968 --> 00:04:29,939
I AM
A NATURAL-BORN STORYTELLER.
104
00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:31,571
I AM A SHOWMAN.
105
00:04:31,572 --> 00:04:34,444
OH!
106
00:04:34,445 --> 00:04:35,475
A SHOWMAN.
107
00:04:35,476 --> 00:04:37,477
I AM A SHOWMAN.
UH-HUH.
108
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:41,651
WHEREVER I GO, IT SEEMS LIKE
THE SPOTLIGHT FINDS ME.
109
00:04:41,652 --> 00:04:44,514
YES, I AM A TELLER OF TALES,
IF YOU WILL.
110
00:04:44,515 --> 00:04:46,717
I AM A RACONTEUR.
111
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:51,921
THIS IS GOOD.
112
00:04:51,922 --> 00:04:53,924
WHERE DID YOU GET THESE?
113
00:04:59,930 --> 00:05:04,904
HONEY, HONEY, I AM JUST
AN INTERESTING KIND OF GUY.
114
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:07,306
INTERESTING THINGS
HAPPEN TO ME.
115
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,838
WHY... (chuckles)
116
00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,981
I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED
IF SOMETHING INTERESTING
117
00:05:11,982 --> 00:05:14,985
DIDN'T HAPPEN TO ME
ON THE WAY TO THE KITCHEN.
118
00:05:21,692 --> 00:05:23,994
I DIDN'T EVEN PLAN THAT
TO HAPPEN.
119
00:05:25,055 --> 00:05:27,357
UHH! UHH!
120
00:05:27,358 --> 00:05:30,700
(coughing)
121
00:05:30,701 --> 00:05:32,963
UHH! UHH! UHH!
122
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,808
LOOK, I JUST SAVED A LIFE.
123
00:05:43,544 --> 00:05:45,545
OH, MY GOD, CHERYL!
124
00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:47,877
YOU ARE NOT GONNA BELIEVE
WHAT JUST HAPPENED. WHAT?
125
00:05:47,878 --> 00:05:51,050
GUESS WHO WAS IN FRONT OF ME
AT THE COFFEE SHOP... OPRAH!
126
00:05:51,051 --> 00:05:53,122
(gasps) NO WAY!
127
00:05:53,123 --> 00:05:55,124
HA HA! IT GETS BETTER.
128
00:05:55,125 --> 00:05:58,027
OPRAH FORGOT HER WALLET,
AND SHE WAS TOTALLY MORTIFIED,
129
00:05:58,028 --> 00:06:00,089
BUT I CAME TO HER RESCUE.
130
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:02,662
I BOUGHT OPRAH COFFEE.
131
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,434
YOU BOUGHT COFFEE FOR OPRAH?
132
00:06:04,435 --> 00:06:05,965
YES!
133
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,767
THAT'S LIKE
BUYING COFFEE FOR...
134
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:09,769
THERE'S NOBODY BIGGER
THAN OPRAH.
135
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,871
I KNOW! LOOK, SHE EVEN
AUTOGRAPHED MY CUP.
136
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,703
OH, MY GOD.
137
00:06:13,704 --> 00:06:15,405
"THANKS A LATTE"?
138
00:06:15,406 --> 00:06:17,647
OH, MY GOD!
139
00:06:17,648 --> 00:06:20,149
I KNOW. SHE JUST CAME UP
WITH THAT ON THE SPOT.
140
00:06:20,150 --> 00:06:22,151
IS THERE ANYTHING
OPRAH CAN'T DO?
141
00:06:22,152 --> 00:06:25,855
THAT IS SUCH A GREAT STORY.
142
00:06:25,856 --> 00:06:26,916
I KNOW.
143
00:06:26,917 --> 00:06:28,888
WHAT DID YOU GUYS
TALK ABOUT?
144
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,421
MOSTLY ME,
AND THEN SHE HAD TO GO.
145
00:06:31,422 --> 00:06:33,993
OH, I HAVE GOT
TO CALL RYAN.
146
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,865
OH, WAIT.
YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM YET?
147
00:06:35,866 --> 00:06:38,598
NO, YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON
I TOLD!
148
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:39,899
OKAY, DANA.
HMM?
149
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:42,902
I NEED YOUR OPRAH STORY.
WHAT?
150
00:06:42,903 --> 00:06:45,675
YEAH, I NEED TO TELL JIM
IT HAPPENED TO ME.
151
00:06:45,676 --> 00:06:47,908
NO WAY. THAT'S MY STORY.
152
00:06:52,883 --> 00:06:55,044
SEE?
153
00:06:55,045 --> 00:06:57,747
LOOK, NOW YOU HAVE
AN EVEN BETTER STORY
154
00:06:57,748 --> 00:07:00,520
ABOUT HOW SOME CRAZY LADY
RUINED YOUR CELL PHONE.
155
00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:03,422
COME ON. HEY, HEY, HEY, GIVE ME
THAT CUP. NO. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT.
156
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,955
WHY ARE YOU MAKING SUCH
A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS?
157
00:07:05,956 --> 00:07:08,498
BECAUSE JIM SAID
I WAS BORING.
158
00:07:08,499 --> 00:07:10,560
WELL...
159
00:07:10,561 --> 00:07:12,732
COME ON, COME ON, COME
ON. GIVE ME THAT CUP. BITE ME.
160
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,063
OH, HEY, HEY, HEY!
OH, OH!
161
00:07:14,064 --> 00:07:16,105
HEY, HEY, HEY, OH, OH!
162
00:07:16,106 --> 00:07:17,837
(both grunting)
163
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:21,641
OW! OKAY, LET GO,
LET GO, LET GO. AHH!
164
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:24,874
I THINK IT'S CLEAR THAT
I AM DESPERATE, BORING WOMAN.
165
00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:25,875
YEAH.
166
00:07:25,876 --> 00:07:27,877
AND I WANT THAT STORY,
167
00:07:27,878 --> 00:07:30,179
AND IF I DON'T GET IT...
168
00:07:30,180 --> 00:07:32,652
I'M GONNA TELL RYAN YOU NEVER
GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE.
169
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:34,654
TWO CREDITS SHORT.
WHO CARES?
170
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:36,886
RYAN LOVES ME
FOR WHO I AM.
171
00:07:36,887 --> 00:07:38,058
BUT MOM DOESN'T.
172
00:07:40,691 --> 00:07:42,962
THAT'S RIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT.
I'LL TELL HER.
173
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:47,236
AND I'LL TELL HER THAT
YOU SPENT YOUR TUITION ON WEED.
174
00:07:47,237 --> 00:07:48,938
BUT I DIDN'T.
175
00:07:48,939 --> 00:07:50,139
OH, YEAH.
176
00:07:50,140 --> 00:07:54,044
WHO'S SHE GONNA BELIEVE...
YOU OR A COLLEGE GRADUATE?
177
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,147
(groans)
178
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,051
THANKS A LATTE.
179
00:08:03,614 --> 00:08:06,185
YOU SAW OPRAH IN A
COFFEE SHOP? YEAH.
180
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,887
THAT'S LIKE SEEING...
181
00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:09,819
WELL, THERE'S NO ONE
BIGGER THAN OPRAH.
182
00:08:09,820 --> 00:08:11,591
YEAH.
183
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:14,594
YEAH, AND THEN WE TALKED,
YOU KNOW, FOR LIKE AN HOUR.
184
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:15,865
YOU KNOW?
185
00:08:15,866 --> 00:08:19,669
I RECOMMENDED SOME BOOKS,
YOU KNOW?
186
00:08:19,670 --> 00:08:22,201
APPARENTLY,
I'M A LOT LIKE GAYLE.
187
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:26,736
REALLY? I DON'T REMEMBER
THAT PART OF THE STORY.
188
00:08:26,737 --> 00:08:29,839
YEAH, WELL, YOUR MEMORY NEVER
REALLY RECOVERED FROM COLLEGE,
189
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,211
DID IT?
190
00:08:32,983 --> 00:08:34,984
AND SHE'S OUT OF CASH.
YEAH.
191
00:08:34,985 --> 00:08:37,687
I LOVE THAT PART.
THAT'S IRONY, MY FRIENDS.
192
00:08:37,688 --> 00:08:39,650
I KNOW.
193
00:08:41,051 --> 00:08:43,953
YOU KNOW, DANA, YOU GO INTO
THAT COFFEE SHOP EVERY DAY.
194
00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:46,857
HOW COME NOTHING INTERESTING
EVER HAPPENS TO YOU?
195
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,200
OH, OH! HERE'S SOMETHING.
196
00:08:51,201 --> 00:08:54,003
HERE'S SOMETHING INTERESTING.
I DIDN'T TELL YOU THIS.
197
00:08:54,004 --> 00:08:56,967
MY CELL PHONE BROKE TODAY.
198
00:08:58,809 --> 00:09:01,572
SO, CHERYL, DID YOU GUYS
TALK ABOUT STEDMAN AT ALL?
199
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,014
NO, NO.
200
00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:07,877
YOU KNOW, I DON'T WANT TO
MONOPOLIZE THE CONVERSATION
201
00:09:07,878 --> 00:09:10,921
WITH MY SILLY, LITTLE,
END-OF-THE-DAY STORIES.
202
00:09:13,724 --> 00:09:17,286
SO, JIM, ANYTHING INTERESTING
HAPPEN TO YOU TODAY?
203
00:09:17,287 --> 00:09:19,028
UH, YEAH.
204
00:09:19,029 --> 00:09:22,593
REALLY? HOW DID
THE SPOTLIGHT FIND YOU?
205
00:09:24,965 --> 00:09:27,266
OH! YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE
HOW LONG IT TOOK
206
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:31,000
TO GET TO
THE MARBLE WAREHOUSE.
207
00:09:31,001 --> 00:09:32,672
HOW LONG?
208
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,074
WELL...
209
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,008
YOU KNOW, LIKE, UH,
LIKE AN HOUR AND A HALF.
210
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,351
IT'S ONLY 11 MILES.
211
00:09:42,352 --> 00:09:44,083
WOW. OH, DARN IT.
212
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:46,085
I REALLY HAVE TO PEE,
213
00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,588
BUT I DON'T WANNA MISS
THE BIG ENDING.
214
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,591
WHAT HAPPENED?
215
00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:55,595
THERE WAS A LOT OF TRAFFIC.
216
00:09:57,367 --> 00:10:00,700
WELL, I, UH, AHEM. I THINK
IT'S SAFE FOR YOU TO PEE NOW.
217
00:10:00,701 --> 00:10:02,372
OH.
218
00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:10,680
CHERYL WASTED ME
WITH THAT OPRAH STORY.
219
00:10:10,681 --> 00:10:12,682
I'M THE INTERESTING ONE!
220
00:10:12,683 --> 00:10:15,344
I GOTTA COME UP WITH SOMETHING
THAT'S GONNA TOP THAT.
221
00:10:15,345 --> 00:10:17,046
JIM, COME ON, MAN.
222
00:10:17,047 --> 00:10:20,049
THERE'S NO TOPPING OPRAH.
223
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:23,152
SHE DID A WHOLE SHOW
ON JEANS FOR EVERY FIGURE.
224
00:10:23,153 --> 00:10:25,655
THERE'S A WAY,
THERE'S A WAY.
225
00:10:25,656 --> 00:10:28,658
COME ON. A LOT OF EXCITING
THINGS HAPPEN AROUND HERE.
226
00:10:28,659 --> 00:10:30,660
WHAT'S ON THE AGENDA
FOR TODAY?
227
00:10:30,661 --> 00:10:32,662
WELL, PRETTY MUCH
YOU SITTIN' THERE,
228
00:10:32,663 --> 00:10:34,704
ME SITTIN' HERE,
AND THEN LUNCH.
229
00:10:34,705 --> 00:10:36,035
OH!
230
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,868
AND I MIGHT GO
JEANS SHOPPING.
231
00:10:38,869 --> 00:10:40,840
OH, GREAT. HEY, CHERYL,
232
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:45,075
ANDY BOUGHT A PAIR OF JEANS
THAT GAVE HIM A TEARDROP ASS.
233
00:10:46,947 --> 00:10:48,878
YEAH, THAT'S GONNA WORK.
234
00:10:48,879 --> 00:10:50,880
WHY DON'T YOU
MAKE SOMETHING UP?
235
00:10:50,881 --> 00:10:53,153
CHERYL WILL NEVER KNOW
THE DIFFERENCE.
236
00:10:54,825 --> 00:10:57,987
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
WHAT DO YOU GOT IN MIND?
237
00:10:57,988 --> 00:11:00,359
OKAY, OKAY. UM...
238
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,062
WE'RE ON THE WAY
TO THE MARBLE WAREHOUSE.
239
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,064
OKAY.
240
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:07,967
UH, BUT THIS TIME,
THERE IS NO TRAFFIC.
241
00:11:07,968 --> 00:11:10,399
NO, NO, NO, MAN.
THERE'S NO NOTHING.
242
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,071
ALL RIGHT.
243
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:13,803
WE GET UP THERE.
244
00:11:13,804 --> 00:11:18,108
WE'RE THE ONLY TWO PEOPLE LEFT
ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
245
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:25,255
GREAT. UNTIL CHERYL REALIZES
SHE'S HERE, TOO.
246
00:11:29,219 --> 00:11:31,060
SO IT WAS ONLY THEN
247
00:11:31,061 --> 00:11:33,062
THAT I REALIZED
MY T-SHIRT WASN'T WHITE.
248
00:11:33,063 --> 00:11:34,063
GUESS WHAT COLOR IT WAS.
EGGSHELL?
249
00:11:34,064 --> 00:11:38,197
OH, MY GOD!
YOU'RE AMAZING!
250
00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:40,470
THAT'S INCREDIBLE.
251
00:11:43,433 --> 00:11:46,936
HEY, DOC.
YOU'VE BEEN TRAININ', HUH?
252
00:11:46,937 --> 00:11:48,137
NOPE. DRINKIN'.
253
00:11:48,138 --> 00:11:52,011
AH. THAT'LL HELP.
254
00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:53,182
HEY, JIM.
255
00:11:53,183 --> 00:11:54,413
HEY.
256
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:59,288
SO... ANYTHING INTERESTING
HAPPEN TO YOU TODAY?
257
00:11:59,289 --> 00:12:02,121
NO, NOT REALLY.
258
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:04,493
NOTHING OPRAH INTERESTING.
259
00:12:04,494 --> 00:12:07,828
OH, WELL, BABY,
MAYBE TOMORROW.
260
00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:12,201
(breathing heavily)
261
00:12:12,202 --> 00:12:13,732
OH, MY GOD! ANDY!
262
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:14,934
WHAT HAPPENED?
263
00:12:14,935 --> 00:12:16,235
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
264
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:21,440
YES, THANKS TO THIS
BRAVE, BRAVE MAN.
265
00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,973
THIS LION.
266
00:12:23,974 --> 00:12:25,444
WHAT HAPPENED?
267
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,446
THIS HUMBLE, HUMBLE MAN
SAVED MY LIFE!
268
00:12:27,447 --> 00:12:28,948
OH, COME ON.
269
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:31,480
SEE, WE HAD JUST GOTTEN BACK
FROM THE MARBLE WAREHOUSE.
270
00:12:31,481 --> 00:12:33,983
YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE WEAK.
271
00:12:33,984 --> 00:12:36,485
WHY DON'T YOU SIT DOWN?
I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS.
272
00:12:36,486 --> 00:12:37,987
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
273
00:12:37,988 --> 00:12:40,489
WE JUST GOT BACK FROM
THE MARBLE WAREHOUSE, RIGHT?
274
00:12:40,490 --> 00:12:43,092
AND ANDY WENT INTO
THE SITE TRAILER TO TAKE A NAP,
275
00:12:43,093 --> 00:12:45,094
AND, WELL, I WAS OUTSIDE,
276
00:12:45,095 --> 00:12:48,167
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN,
WHAT DID I SMELL? SMOKE.
277
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,869
(gasps)
278
00:12:49,870 --> 00:12:52,041
AND WHERE THERE'S SMOKE,
THERE'S...
279
00:12:52,042 --> 00:12:53,203
SMOKERS?
280
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:57,106
COME ON. RUBY?
281
00:12:57,107 --> 00:12:59,478
WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?
282
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,549
FIRE!
283
00:13:00,550 --> 00:13:02,411
(gasps) THERE WAS A FIRE?
284
00:13:02,412 --> 00:13:04,954
YES! THERE WERE FLAMES
JUST BURNING
285
00:13:04,955 --> 00:13:06,956
UP THE SIDE
OF THE SITE TRAILER.
286
00:13:06,957 --> 00:13:10,789
AND THERE WAS SMOKE INSIDE,
AND I KNEW ANDY WAS THERE.
287
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:12,992
YOU RAN INTO
A BURNING BUILDING?
288
00:13:12,993 --> 00:13:15,264
OH, I HAD TO. I HAD TO.
ANDY WAS PASSED OUT.
289
00:13:15,265 --> 00:13:18,568
FROM THE LONG DRIVE
TO THE MARBLE WAREHOUSE.
290
00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:22,071
SO I WENT IN THERE.
291
00:13:22,072 --> 00:13:24,133
I WAS FIGHTING
THROUGH THE FLAMES, RIGHT?
292
00:13:24,134 --> 00:13:25,905
AND THEN I PICKED HIM UP,
293
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,207
THREW HIM ON MY SHOULDER
AND I WALKED OUT.
294
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:30,339
YOU CARRIED HIM?
295
00:13:30,340 --> 00:13:33,112
WELL, IT WAS THE ADRENALINE.
296
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,315
THAT'S A LOT
OF ADRENALINE.
297
00:13:36,947 --> 00:13:39,248
WELL, YOU KNOW, YOU GET
THAT SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH
298
00:13:39,249 --> 00:13:41,991
WHEN A LOVED ONE IS IN DANGER.
299
00:13:41,992 --> 00:13:44,523
WHOA, LOOK OUT.
BURGERS ARE BURNING.
300
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,826
HEY.
301
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:50,960
SO, CHERYL, UH,
302
00:13:50,961 --> 00:13:52,903
ANYTHING INTERESTING
HAPPEN TO YOU TODAY?
303
00:13:57,207 --> 00:13:59,338
OH, UH...
304
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,071
I GUESS NOT.
305
00:14:02,973 --> 00:14:04,214
MAYBE TOMORROW.
306
00:14:11,081 --> 00:14:14,084
(inhaling and exhaling deeply)
307
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:21,490
I HEARD THAT.
308
00:14:21,491 --> 00:14:23,492
COME ON. COUGH IT UP.
LET'S GO.
309
00:14:23,493 --> 00:14:25,995
YOU'RE HOOKED ON THIS OXYGEN,
AREN'T YOU?
310
00:14:25,996 --> 00:14:28,968
I'VE NEVER THOUGHT SO CLEARLY,
JIM.
311
00:14:28,969 --> 00:14:30,970
I BOUGHT A WHOLE CASE.
312
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:33,202
I GOT 48 BOTTLES
UNDER THE TABLE.
313
00:14:33,203 --> 00:14:34,905
YOU WANT ONE?
314
00:14:36,206 --> 00:14:37,907
FIRST ONE'S FREE.
315
00:14:37,908 --> 00:14:39,278
GIVE ME THAT.
PUT THAT DOWN.
316
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:40,479
YOU'RE CRAZY.
317
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,112
(telephone rings)
318
00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:44,984
HELLO?
319
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,516
OH, HI, CHERYL.
320
00:14:47,517 --> 00:14:51,561
OH, SO YOU'RE FIXING
A HERO SANDWICH FOR YOUR HERO.
321
00:14:53,123 --> 00:14:54,423
WELL, THAT'S NICE, HONEY.
322
00:14:54,424 --> 00:14:56,425
I LOOK FORWARD
TO COMING HOME TONIGHT
323
00:14:56,426 --> 00:14:59,298
AND HAVING THAT HERO SANDWICH.
LUNCH?
324
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,300
SHE WANTS TO COME DOWN HERE
325
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:03,502
AND SHOW THE KIDS
THE FIRE DAMAGE.
326
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,504
WHAT DO I SAY?
WHAT DO I SAY?
327
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,336
MAKE SOMETHING UP!
YOU'RE THE SHOWMAN.
328
00:15:07,337 --> 00:15:09,339
GIVE HER
A LITTLE RAZZLE-DAZZLE.
329
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,642
WELL, HONEY, UH...
330
00:15:13,643 --> 00:15:16,085
WE'RE PRETTY BUSY.
331
00:15:16,086 --> 00:15:17,586
OH, HONEY. COME ON.
332
00:15:17,587 --> 00:15:20,589
RUBY WANTS TO TAKE PICTURES
FOR HER SCHOOL PAPER.
333
00:15:20,590 --> 00:15:23,352
ALL RIGHT. SEE YOU IN A BIT.
334
00:15:23,353 --> 00:15:25,354
SHE'S GONNA BE HERE
IN TEN MINUTES.
335
00:15:25,355 --> 00:15:28,057
WE GOTTA COME UP
WITH SOMETHING QUICK. QUICK!
336
00:15:28,058 --> 00:15:29,528
(panting)
337
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,661
(inhales and exhales deeply)
338
00:15:32,662 --> 00:15:35,134
I GOT IT.
YOU AND I HIT THE ROAD,
339
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:37,506
AND WE START NEW LIVES
IN CANADA.
340
00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:39,708
TAKE ANOTHER HIT.
341
00:15:39,709 --> 00:15:41,610
(inhales deeply)
342
00:15:41,611 --> 00:15:45,114
I GOT IT.
WE SET THE BUILDING ON FIRE.
343
00:15:45,115 --> 00:15:47,646
BETTER.
344
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:50,049
HA HA! YEAH!
345
00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,350
AH, LOOK AT THAT!
346
00:15:51,351 --> 00:15:52,351
WHOO!
347
00:15:52,352 --> 00:15:54,053
I LOVE FIRE.
LOOK AT THAT.
348
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,054
SO HYPNOTIZING.
349
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:57,056
I'M A PYRO FROM WAY BACK.
350
00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:59,058
OH, YOU'VE DONE THIS
BEFORE?
351
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:02,591
UH, YEAH, BUT I'M NOT
SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT IT.
352
00:16:02,592 --> 00:16:04,363
OKAY, LET'S CONTROL IT
OVER THERE A LITTLE BIT.
353
00:16:04,364 --> 00:16:05,564
ALL RIGHT.
354
00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,097
PUT A LITTLE OUT
OVER THERE.
355
00:16:08,098 --> 00:16:09,268
ANDY!
356
00:16:09,269 --> 00:16:12,201
WHAT THE HELL? I THOUGHT
YOU FILLED THAT THING UP.
357
00:16:12,202 --> 00:16:14,003
I DID. I... THEN YOU THOUGHT
IT'D BE FUNNY
358
00:16:14,004 --> 00:16:15,974
TO SURPRISE ME
IN THE PORT-A-JOHN.
359
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,147
OH, MY.
360
00:16:18,148 --> 00:16:20,179
(both blowing)
361
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:21,680
MAN, LOOK AT THAT!
362
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,153
I'M RUNNING OUT OF BREATH.
I'M GONNA GET MY OXYGEN.
363
00:16:24,154 --> 00:16:26,355
OXYGEN?!
WHERE'S THE OXYGEN?
364
00:16:26,356 --> 00:16:29,118
INSIDE THE TRAILER
BEHIND THE BURNING WALL.
365
00:16:29,119 --> 00:16:31,990
EVERYBODY OUT!
EVERYBODY, BACK UP!
366
00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:34,263
GET AWAY
FROM THE BUILDING NOW!
367
00:16:34,264 --> 00:16:38,027
OH! AAH! JIM! JIM, I'M STUCK!
MY FOOT'S STUCK!
368
00:16:38,028 --> 00:16:39,098
HELP ME!
369
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,530
(grunting)
370
00:16:41,531 --> 00:16:43,532
ALL RIGHT, HOLD ON, HOLD ON. OW!
371
00:16:43,533 --> 00:16:45,174
WHERE'S THE KEY
ON THIS THING?
372
00:16:45,175 --> 00:16:47,606
JIM!
HOLD ON, HOLD ON!
373
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:50,279
NO, SAVE YOURSELF!
I'LL TRY AND CHEW MY FOOT OFF!
374
00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:52,681
GOOD IDEA! START CHEWIN'!
375
00:16:52,682 --> 00:16:54,443
UHH!
376
00:16:54,444 --> 00:16:56,685
JIM,
PUT YOUR SEAT BELT ON!
377
00:16:56,686 --> 00:16:59,188
WHO PUT THIS HERE?
IT'S A SAFETY HAZARD!
378
00:16:59,189 --> 00:17:00,789
I GOT YOU, ANDY. I
GOTCHA, I GOTCHA. MY FOOT!
379
00:17:00,790 --> 00:17:02,491
DOWN, JIM, DOWN!
380
00:17:02,492 --> 00:17:04,153
ANDY, HOLD ON, I GOTCHA!
GO, JIM, GO!
381
00:17:04,154 --> 00:17:05,724
HOLD ON!
382
00:17:05,725 --> 00:17:09,027
DRIVE, JIM,
DRIVE LIKE THE WIND! AAH!
383
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,029
(screaming)
384
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,332
(Jim) KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
385
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,234
OH! OH!
386
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,766
KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
387
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:32,151
WHAT CAN I SAY?
388
00:17:32,152 --> 00:17:35,085
SPOTLIGHT ALWAYS SEEMS
TO FIND ME.
389
00:17:37,427 --> 00:17:40,829
OKAY, SO I'M SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE
390
00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:43,492
THAT THERE WAS A FIRE
AT YOUR SITE TRAILER
391
00:17:43,493 --> 00:17:47,065
TWO DAYS IN A ROW?
392
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,568
LOOK, CHERYL...
393
00:17:49,569 --> 00:17:51,370
FINE.
394
00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:54,844
I WASN'T GONNA TELL YOU THIS.
I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT YOU.
395
00:17:56,506 --> 00:18:00,479
BUT, YOU KNOW,
THIS BEING CHICAGO, AND...
396
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,682
ME BEING IN
THE CONSTRUCTION BUSINESS...
397
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,355
I GOT MOB TIES.
398
00:18:06,816 --> 00:18:08,817
YOU'VE GOT TO BE
KIDDING ME.
399
00:18:08,818 --> 00:18:11,620
I JUST CROSSED
THE WRONG GUYS, CHERYL.
400
00:18:11,621 --> 00:18:14,863
HMM. WHAT GUYS, JIM?
401
00:18:14,864 --> 00:18:17,426
YOU KNOW...
402
00:18:17,427 --> 00:18:20,399
JOHNNY SACK AND HIS CREW.
403
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:23,232
JOHNNY SACK.
404
00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:24,473
JIM...
405
00:18:24,474 --> 00:18:26,805
I WATCHED "THE SOPRANOS"
WITH YOU!
406
00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:29,738
FINE, CHERYL. FINE.
407
00:18:29,739 --> 00:18:32,141
I WANTED TO TOP
YOUR OPRAH STORY.
408
00:18:32,142 --> 00:18:34,543
I'M COMPETITIVE!
I'M A SHOWMAN!
409
00:18:34,544 --> 00:18:37,316
I WANTED TO BEAT YOU SO BAD
THAT I ALMOST WIPED OUT
410
00:18:37,317 --> 00:18:42,491
A REASONABLY SKILLED,
NON-UNION CONSTRUCTION CREW.
411
00:18:42,492 --> 00:18:46,195
OH, JIM.
412
00:18:46,196 --> 00:18:47,356
OH, JIM.
413
00:18:47,357 --> 00:18:49,628
"OH, JIM."
DON'T DO "OH, JIM"!
414
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:51,660
THIS IS A NEW LOW,
EVEN FOR YOU.
415
00:18:51,661 --> 00:18:53,532
YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.
416
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,365
OPRAH AND I TALKED
ABOUT THIS.
417
00:18:56,366 --> 00:18:58,167
WE DID.
418
00:18:58,168 --> 00:19:00,169
WE TALKED ABOUT
HOW IMPORTANT IT IS
419
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:02,171
TO BE TRUTHFUL
WITH YOUR MATE.
420
00:19:02,172 --> 00:19:03,472
TELL HIM, CHERYL.
421
00:19:03,473 --> 00:19:05,744
TELL HIM IT WAS ME
WHO BOUGHT OPRAH COFFEE.
422
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,145
WHAT?!
423
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,248
I DON'T KNOW
WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT.
424
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,250
(sighs) I NEED THE TRUTH.
425
00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:14,323
HE'S DRINKING EVERY DAY
BECAUSE I'M BORING.
426
00:19:14,324 --> 00:19:17,856
IT'S ALSO BECAUSE I LIKE IT.
427
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:20,589
YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?
YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?
428
00:19:20,590 --> 00:19:22,861
SHE'S JEALOUS. YOU KNOW,
OPRAH SAID THIS WOULD HAPPEN.
429
00:19:22,862 --> 00:19:26,395
OH! SHE STOLE MY ANECDOTE
BECAUSE YOU SAID SHE WAS BORING.
430
00:19:26,396 --> 00:19:28,537
WELL, WELL, WELL!
431
00:19:28,538 --> 00:19:31,200
OH, OH,
DON'T "WELL, WELL, WELL" ME!
432
00:19:31,201 --> 00:19:32,841
YOU BLEW UP YOUR OFFICE!
433
00:19:32,842 --> 00:19:35,674
YOU BLEW UP YOUR OFFICE?
THAT'S AWESOME.
434
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,376
YEAH.
435
00:19:37,377 --> 00:19:39,378
ALL RIGHT.
NOW YOU ARE GONNA SIT DOWN
436
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:42,381
AND YOU ARE GONNA LISTEN TO
EVERY DETAIL OF MY OPRAH STORY.
437
00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:44,683
OH, NO, NO, NO. LET'S LISTEN
ABOUT THE BURNING...
438
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,686
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
OKAY, SO LET ME SET THE SCENE.
439
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,688
I WAS WEARING MY FAVORITE PAIR
OF JEANS. YOU KNOW THE ONES.
440
00:19:49,689 --> 00:19:52,661
YOU LIKE THOSE ONES.
I THINK OPRAH LIKED 'EM, TOO.
441
00:19:52,662 --> 00:19:54,664
SHE WAS WEARING
A SLATE BLUE-GRAY SUIT.
442
00:19:56,826 --> 00:19:59,398
OH, GREAT.
443
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:00,769
WHAT?
444
00:20:00,770 --> 00:20:05,203
YOU'RE GONNA SIT THERE.
I'M GONNA SIT HERE.
445
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:07,205
AND WE'RE GONNA TALK
ABOUT OUR FEELINGS
446
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,938
FOR THE NEXT SIX HOURS.
447
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,842
LET'S JUST CUT TO THE CHASE,
OKAY, HONEY?
448
00:20:13,843 --> 00:20:16,715
WE'RE BOTH BORING.
449
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,348
WE BOTH LIED.
450
00:20:19,349 --> 00:20:20,849
WE'RE BOTH CRAZY.
451
00:20:20,850 --> 00:20:23,922
CRAZY. YEAH.
452
00:20:23,923 --> 00:20:25,994
CRAZY IN LOVE
WITH EACH OTHER.
453
00:20:25,995 --> 00:20:27,426
WHAT?
454
00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,928
WELL, WHY DO YOU THINK
IT'S SO IMPORTANT
455
00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,430
NOT TO BE BORING?
456
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,933
HONEY, YOU KNOW WHY
I'M A SHOWMAN?
457
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:36,865
YOU LIKE THE ATTENTION.
458
00:20:36,866 --> 00:20:40,669
YEAH. I DO.
I LOVE THE ATTENTION...
459
00:20:40,670 --> 00:20:41,941
FROM YOU.
460
00:20:43,773 --> 00:20:46,275
CHERYL, YOU KNOW, MOST PEOPLE
LIVE THEIR LIVES.
461
00:20:46,276 --> 00:20:49,017
THEY TALK ABOUT THEIR KIDS,
AND THEY GO TO BED.
462
00:20:49,018 --> 00:20:51,821
BUT YOU AND ME, WE GOT
A LITTLE MAGIC GOING HERE.
463
00:20:54,023 --> 00:20:56,925
WE GOT ELECTRICITY.
464
00:20:56,926 --> 00:20:58,988
(imitating
electricity crackling)
465
00:21:01,791 --> 00:21:06,635
WE LIE.
WE BLOW THINGS UP.
466
00:21:06,636 --> 00:21:08,897
ARE YOU SAYING...
467
00:21:08,898 --> 00:21:11,600
YOU BLEW UP
YOUR SITE TRAILER FOR ME?
468
00:21:11,601 --> 00:21:17,576
BABY, THAT WAS
A 30-FOOT FIREBALL OF LOVE.
469
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:18,847
OH!
470
00:21:18,848 --> 00:21:22,951
THAT IS SO ROMANTIC.
471
00:21:22,952 --> 00:21:26,586
I'M A SHOWMAN.
30611
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