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1
00:00:01,732 --> 00:00:04,003
COME ON!
2
00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,306
YOU'RE ONE OF THE HIGHEST PAID
PLAYERS IN THE LEAGUE!
3
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:09,109
HUSTLE! THROW SOME ELBOWS!
DRAW SOME BLOOD!
4
00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:12,282
I HATE WOMEN'S BASKETBALL.
5
00:00:12,283 --> 00:00:13,513
WOW.
6
00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,515
YOU UNLOADED
ALL THOSE GROCERIES ALREADY?
7
00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:19,089
NO, NO. I SUBCONTRACTED
THAT JOB OUT.
8
00:00:19,090 --> 00:00:21,191
NO, NO, JIM,
NOT THE KIDS.
9
00:00:21,192 --> 00:00:22,522
OF COURSE THE KIDS.
10
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:24,725
IT'S TIME THEY LEARNED
TO RESPECT HARD WORK.
11
00:00:28,499 --> 00:00:30,100
OH...
12
00:00:30,101 --> 00:00:32,303
(Ruby)
BOMBS AWAY!
13
00:00:44,775 --> 00:00:46,146
(Jim)
CHERYL?
14
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,147
YEAH?
15
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:49,279
COULD YOU
BRING ME A BEER?
16
00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:51,281
YEAH, HONEY.
17
00:00:51,282 --> 00:00:54,724
COMING RIGHT UP.
18
00:00:54,725 --> 00:00:58,459
♪♪♪
19
00:01:03,664 --> 00:01:06,436
HOW MANY MORE ENVELOPES
DO WE HAVE TO DO, MOMMY?
20
00:01:06,437 --> 00:01:07,667
ONLY ABOUT 200.
21
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,269
(groans)
22
00:01:09,270 --> 00:01:11,601
REMEMBER, WE'RE HELPING
THE HOMELESS.
23
00:01:11,602 --> 00:01:13,743
WHY CAN'T THEY DO THIS
FOR THEMSELVES?
24
00:01:13,744 --> 00:01:15,575
IT'S NOT LIKE
THEY HAVE JOBS.
25
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:16,676
DANA...
26
00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:18,548
ALL RIGHT, MAKE WAY.
27
00:01:18,549 --> 00:01:21,351
WE GOT RIBS FROM STEVIE B's.
28
00:01:21,352 --> 00:01:22,852
LOOK AT THIS...
ONE MORE PUNCH, CHERYL,
29
00:01:22,853 --> 00:01:25,155
AND WE GET
A FREE SUCKLING PIG.
30
00:01:25,156 --> 00:01:26,356
GREAT.
31
00:01:26,357 --> 00:01:27,817
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
32
00:01:27,818 --> 00:01:28,818
HUH?
33
00:01:28,819 --> 00:01:30,120
WE GOTTA EAT HERE.
34
00:01:30,121 --> 00:01:31,391
WHY CAN'T YOU DO THIS
IN YOUR OFFICE?
35
00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,563
JIM, A HALLWAY
WITH A WASHING MACHINE
36
00:01:33,564 --> 00:01:34,824
IS NOT AN OFFICE.
37
00:01:34,825 --> 00:01:37,727
WE'RE RAISING MONEY TO BUILD
HOUSES FOR THE HOMELESS.
38
00:01:37,728 --> 00:01:40,430
WE GOT A WHOLE SYSTEM SET UP.
WE ARE NOT MOVING.
39
00:01:40,431 --> 00:01:42,172
FINE, YOU HELP
THE HOMELESS IN HERE,
40
00:01:42,173 --> 00:01:45,135
AND ANDY AND I WILL
FEED THE HUNGRY IN THERE.
41
00:01:45,136 --> 00:01:48,178
I ALREADY HAD A HALF A SLAB
OF STEVIE B's IN THE CAR,
42
00:01:48,179 --> 00:01:49,779
BUT I THINK I STILL QUALIFY.
43
00:01:49,780 --> 00:01:50,810
SURE.
44
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:54,113
OH, GREAT.
MORE CHARITY STUFF.
45
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:55,485
WELL, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
46
00:01:55,486 --> 00:01:57,887
WE NEED SOMETHING
TO SOAK UP THE GREASE.
47
00:01:57,888 --> 00:02:00,490
DO MY BABY BLUES DECEIVE ME,
48
00:02:00,491 --> 00:02:03,122
OR IS THIS A LETTER
FROM "PLAYBOY"?
49
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,754
WHAT?
50
00:02:04,755 --> 00:02:07,126
ADDRESSED TO CHERYL?
51
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:10,660
YOU ARE ONE LUCKY DOG.
52
00:02:10,661 --> 00:02:13,163
A WIFE WHO READS "PLAYBOY."
53
00:02:13,164 --> 00:02:14,904
SHE DOESN'T READ "PLAYBOY."
54
00:02:14,905 --> 00:02:18,608
WHO DOES?
55
00:02:18,609 --> 00:02:20,440
OH, NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
56
00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,542
THIS ISN'T FROM "PLAYBOY"
THE MAGAZINE.
57
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:24,614
IT'S FROM
THE PLAYBOY FOUNDATION.
58
00:02:24,615 --> 00:02:27,747
OH, RIGHT, THEY HELP OUT
CHARITIES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY.
59
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:28,878
HOT!
60
00:02:28,879 --> 00:02:31,181
WHY?
61
00:02:31,182 --> 00:02:33,923
IT'S "PLAYBOY."
62
00:02:33,924 --> 00:02:37,327
WOW, IT LOOKS LIKE
CHERYL'S BEEN NOMINATED
63
00:02:37,328 --> 00:02:40,890
AS ONE OF THE "WOMEN WHO CARE
IN CHICAGO."
64
00:02:40,891 --> 00:02:45,465
OH, FUN,
THERE'S AN ESSAY CONTEST.
65
00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:49,739
JIM, IF SHE WINS,
SHE GETS HONORED WITH A DINNER
66
00:02:49,740 --> 00:02:51,901
AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION,
HOSTED BY HEF HIMSELF.
67
00:02:51,902 --> 00:02:53,843
GIMME THAT!
68
00:02:53,844 --> 00:02:56,606
OH, MY GOD, THAT'S ONE OF
MY LIFELONG DREAMS,
69
00:02:56,607 --> 00:02:58,948
IS TO SMOKE A CIGAR
WITH HEF!
70
00:02:58,949 --> 00:03:02,952
ACTUALLY, IT'S MY ONLY DREAM
NOW THAT I RODE THAT OSTRICH.
71
00:03:02,953 --> 00:03:04,754
WELL, KEEP DREAMING.
72
00:03:04,755 --> 00:03:07,757
THERE'S NO WAY CHERYL'S GONNA
ENTER A CONTEST FOR "PLAYBOY."
73
00:03:07,758 --> 00:03:09,789
WE DON'T TELL HER
IT'S FOR "PLAYBOY."
74
00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,691
WE TELL HER IT'S, UH...
I DON'T KNOW.
75
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,823
WHAT'S THE FEMALE EQUIVALENT
OF "PLAYBOY"?
76
00:03:13,824 --> 00:03:15,825
WELL, THERE'S OPRAH'S MAG,
77
00:03:15,826 --> 00:03:19,198
GEARED TOWARDS
THE URBAN PROFESSIONAL.
78
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,970
THERE'S "COSMO," OF COURSE.
79
00:03:20,971 --> 00:03:23,733
STILL THE STANDARD
TO WHICH OTHERS ASPIRE.
80
00:03:23,734 --> 00:03:26,937
AND I GUESS "InStyle."
POPULAR, BUT A LITTLE SHALLOW.
81
00:03:28,539 --> 00:03:30,681
I MEAN,
HOW WOULD I KNOW?
82
00:03:32,443 --> 00:03:33,443
CHERYL!
83
00:03:33,444 --> 00:03:34,444
HUH?
84
00:03:34,445 --> 00:03:35,885
HEY, CHERYL,
CHECK THIS OUT.
85
00:03:35,886 --> 00:03:40,490
UH... "GOOD HOUSEKEEPING"
IS HONORING WOMEN
86
00:03:40,491 --> 00:03:41,951
WHO WORK FOR CHARITIES.
87
00:03:41,952 --> 00:03:43,753
ALL YOU GOTTA DO
IS WRITE AN ESSAY
88
00:03:43,754 --> 00:03:45,224
ON WHY YOU DO
WHAT YOU DO.
89
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,797
OH, NO, THANKS, HONEY.
THAT'S NOT REALLY FOR ME.
90
00:03:47,798 --> 00:03:49,299
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
UNH-UNH.
91
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,332
COME ON, IF YOU WIN, YOU GET TO
GO TO A BLACK TIE EVENT AT...
92
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,734
THE...
93
00:03:54,735 --> 00:03:56,907
THE "GOOD HOUSEKEEPING" CLUB.
94
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,471
YOU MAY EVEN MEET
THE HOUSEKEEPER OF THE MONTH.
95
00:04:01,472 --> 00:04:03,573
NO, NO, HONEY,
96
00:04:03,574 --> 00:04:05,945
I DON'T DO MY CHARITY WORK
TO GET RECOGNIZED.
97
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:07,877
MY REWARDS
COME FROM THE INSIDE.
98
00:04:07,878 --> 00:04:10,620
I DON'T FOLLOW.
99
00:04:10,621 --> 00:04:12,422
OKAY, UM, OKAY,
LIKE IN CHURCH,
100
00:04:12,423 --> 00:04:14,724
I DON'T NEED TO
STAND ON THE PEW
101
00:04:14,725 --> 00:04:16,556
AND DROP $5 INTO
THE COLLECTION PLATE
102
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,288
ONE QUARTER AT A TIME.
103
00:04:18,289 --> 00:04:20,760
YOU SEE, THAT'S THE BEAUTY
OF NICKELS.
104
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,693
FROM A DISTANCE,
THEY LOOK LIKE QUARTERS.
105
00:04:24,995 --> 00:04:28,568
CHERYL, COME ON.
ONE LITTLE ESSAY.
106
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:32,001
WELL, THERE GOES
YOUR CIGAR WITH HEF.
107
00:04:32,002 --> 00:04:35,775
BUT, HEY, MAYBE YOU CAN
SMOKE ONE WITH THE OSTRICH.
108
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,447
OH, NO.
109
00:04:37,448 --> 00:04:40,009
THERE'S GONNA BE
A CIGAR WITH HEF.
110
00:04:40,010 --> 00:04:42,582
BECAUSE THERE'S
GONNA BE AN ESSAY
111
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:44,984
WRITTEN BY
A WOMAN IN CHICAGO WHO CARES.
112
00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:47,457
AND THAT WOMAN...
113
00:04:47,458 --> 00:04:48,989
IS MOI.
114
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:54,864
YOU CERTAINLY HAVE
THE CHEST FOR IT.
115
00:04:54,865 --> 00:04:55,926
THANK YOU.
116
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,834
OKAY, ANDY, REMEMBER,
A WOMAN IS WRITING THIS,
117
00:05:04,835 --> 00:05:07,338
SO THE SPELLING
HAS GOT TO BE PERFECT.
118
00:05:08,939 --> 00:05:12,842
OKAY...
MY NAME IS CHERYL,
119
00:05:12,843 --> 00:05:17,316
AND I LIKE HELPING PEOPLE.
120
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,449
UM...
121
00:05:19,450 --> 00:05:23,953
I FIRST REALIZED
I WAS A NURTURER
122
00:05:23,954 --> 00:05:28,359
WHEN I NOTICED
MY OWN BUDDING BREASTS.
123
00:05:29,860 --> 00:05:31,861
WHOA, WHOA.
124
00:05:31,862 --> 00:05:34,864
THE LADIES
DON'T TALK LIKE THAT.
125
00:05:34,865 --> 00:05:37,667
NOW HOW WOULD YOU KNOW
HOW A WOMAN TALKS?
126
00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:40,410
I SPEND A LOT OF TIME
IN FEMALE CHAT ROOMS.
127
00:05:40,411 --> 00:05:43,873
I'M "BARBARA 48DD."
128
00:05:43,874 --> 00:05:47,877
WELL, WHAT WOULD
YOU DO, BABS?
129
00:05:47,878 --> 00:05:51,020
WELL, I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?
130
00:05:51,021 --> 00:05:52,952
ANDY, DON'T YOU GET IT?
131
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:56,386
SOMETIMES YOU JUST HELP PEOPLE
JUST FOR THE SAKE OF HELPING.
132
00:05:56,387 --> 00:05:58,828
THAT'S GOOD! TYPE THAT!
133
00:05:58,829 --> 00:06:01,831
I'LL TYPE IT
WHEN I HEAR MY INVITATION
134
00:06:01,832 --> 00:06:03,963
TO THE PLAYBOY MANSION.
135
00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,665
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
136
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,897
COME ON, JIM, IF THIS WINS,
CHERYL'S NEVER GONNA GO.
137
00:06:07,898 --> 00:06:10,840
TAKE ME WITH YOU.
138
00:06:10,841 --> 00:06:12,702
I WANT TO MEET HEF.
139
00:06:12,703 --> 00:06:15,705
THERE'S BEEN THREE GREAT IDEAS
SINCE THE BEGINNING OF MANKIND...
140
00:06:15,706 --> 00:06:18,978
FIRE, THE WHEEL
AND "PLAYBOY"!
141
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:20,980
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
YOU CAN GO.
142
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:23,012
WELL, HELP ME
WRITE THIS THING.
143
00:06:23,013 --> 00:06:24,484
OKAY, OKAY, GLADLY.
YOU TYPE.
144
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:28,058
LET ME JUST GET INTO
CHERYL'S MIND HERE.
145
00:06:38,669 --> 00:06:40,870
(imitating Cheryl)
JIM, STOP IT.
146
00:06:40,871 --> 00:06:41,871
ANDY...
147
00:06:41,872 --> 00:06:42,872
JIM, NOT NOW.
148
00:06:42,873 --> 00:06:43,873
STOP IT!
149
00:06:43,874 --> 00:06:45,575
GO AWAY!
STOP IT!
150
00:06:45,576 --> 00:06:48,077
CHILDREN ARE IN THE ROOM!
ANDY!
151
00:06:48,078 --> 00:06:50,580
COME ON!
152
00:06:50,581 --> 00:06:54,814
HELLO, I'M CHERYL,
AND I'M A TAURUS.
153
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:57,847
TURN-ONS... KITTENS
AND HELPING THE HOMELESS.
154
00:06:57,848 --> 00:07:02,051
TURNOFFS... WAR AND PEOPLE
WHO DON'T SAY "THANK YOU."
155
00:07:02,052 --> 00:07:04,423
ANDY! ANDY!
WHAT?
156
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,497
SLOW DOWN!
THIS IS GOLD!
157
00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:12,061
HERE'S MY MAIL BOY.
158
00:07:12,062 --> 00:07:14,734
CAN I GO PLAY
THE RAKING LEAVES GAME?
159
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,065
YOU BET.
160
00:07:16,066 --> 00:07:18,638
BUT, REMEMBER, THE LEAVES
DON'T TURN INTO CHOCOLATE
161
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:21,641
UNLESS YOU GET
EVERY ONE OF THEM.
162
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:24,574
ALL RIGHT.
163
00:07:24,575 --> 00:07:25,675
OOH!
164
00:07:25,676 --> 00:07:28,478
ANDY. LIVING ROOM. NEWS.
165
00:07:28,479 --> 00:07:29,979
FROM THE BUNNY.
166
00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:31,651
THE BUNNY?
THE BUNNY.
167
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,883
BUNNY!
168
00:07:33,884 --> 00:07:36,225
COME ON, COME ON, OPEN IT.
OPEN IT, I WANNA SEE.
169
00:07:36,226 --> 00:07:38,928
GET OFF ME! GET OFF MY BACK!
YOU'RE LIKE A KOALA!
170
00:07:38,929 --> 00:07:40,160
STAY OFF ME!
171
00:07:41,932 --> 00:07:43,132
CHERYL WON!
172
00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:44,894
(gasps)
CHERYL WON!
173
00:07:44,895 --> 00:07:46,836
WE WON! WE WON! WE WON!
174
00:07:46,837 --> 00:07:48,998
CIGARS WITH HEF!
MY ESSAY WON!
175
00:07:48,999 --> 00:07:49,999
OH, WELL, ACTUALLY, NO.
176
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,001
HAVING YOU WRITE THE ESSAY
177
00:07:52,002 --> 00:07:54,473
I THOUGHT WAS KIND OF
SLEAZY AND DISHONEST.
178
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,905
SO I WROTE IT!
179
00:07:55,906 --> 00:07:57,677
CRAP.
180
00:07:57,678 --> 00:07:59,679
OH, COME ON, WHAT DO YOU CARE?
YOU STILL GET TO GO!
181
00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:00,750
SWEET!
182
00:08:00,751 --> 00:08:02,683
SWEET, SWEET, SWEET.
183
00:08:05,556 --> 00:08:06,957
HELLO.
184
00:08:08,258 --> 00:08:11,190
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?
185
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:12,722
UM...
186
00:08:12,723 --> 00:08:14,724
WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?
187
00:08:14,725 --> 00:08:18,728
TWO SILVERBACK GORILLAS
FIGHTING OVER A BANANA.
188
00:08:18,729 --> 00:08:21,901
WELL, WE WERE, UH...
DANCING.
189
00:08:21,902 --> 00:08:23,502
COME ON, YOU'RE THE ONE
190
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,736
WHO ALWAYS SAYS THAT MEN
SHOULD DANCE TOGETHER MORE.
191
00:08:26,737 --> 00:08:29,679
I NEVER SAID THAT.
192
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,883
COME ON, CHERYL,
LIKE I'D MAKE THAT UP.
193
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,187
OPEN.
194
00:08:40,651 --> 00:08:41,921
ALL RIGHT,
YOU KNOW WHAT, BABY?
195
00:08:41,922 --> 00:08:44,954
YOUR TONGUE'S GETTING DRY.
GO GET GRACIE.
196
00:08:44,955 --> 00:08:48,998
CHERYL, WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
YOU'RE BEING HONORED
197
00:08:48,999 --> 00:08:51,961
AS ONE OF THE "WOMEN
WHO CARE IN CHICAGO"? WHAT?
198
00:08:51,962 --> 00:08:54,103
YEAH, IT SAYS YOU WROTE
A WINNING ESSAY.
199
00:08:54,104 --> 00:08:56,205
I DIDN'T WRITE ANY ESSAY.
200
00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:57,907
I CERTAINLY DIDN'T SEND IN
201
00:08:57,908 --> 00:09:00,940
A PICTURE OF MYSELF
IN A BIKINI...
202
00:09:00,941 --> 00:09:02,642
AT AGE 20.
203
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,114
(car horn honks)
204
00:09:05,115 --> 00:09:07,116
O-OKAY, OKAY,
THAT'S ANDY.
205
00:09:07,117 --> 00:09:10,149
HONEY, I'M GOING BOWLING.
GOOD NIGHT. GOTTA GO.
206
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:12,051
OKAY, SWEETIE. JIM?
207
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:12,983
YEAH.
208
00:09:12,984 --> 00:09:15,284
DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT ME
209
00:09:15,285 --> 00:09:18,058
BEING HONORED
AT A BLACK TIE EVENT TONIGHT?
210
00:09:25,736 --> 00:09:27,667
MMM... NO.
211
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:29,568
HUH.
212
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:30,670
HEY, CONGRATULATIONS.
GOTTA GO.
213
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,101
HEY, THANKS.
214
00:09:32,102 --> 00:09:33,904
(car horn honks)
215
00:09:36,006 --> 00:09:38,247
OKAY.
216
00:09:38,248 --> 00:09:41,611
EITHER ANDY'S WEARING A TUX
217
00:09:41,612 --> 00:09:44,114
OR THERE'S A FAT PENGUIN
DRIVING HIS CAR.
218
00:09:46,657 --> 00:09:48,718
YOU KNOW, I'VE HEARD ABOUT
THOSE FAT PENGUINS.
219
00:09:48,719 --> 00:09:50,119
OH.
220
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:53,592
WELL, THEY CAN'T FLY,
SO THEY STEAL CARS.
221
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,164
YEAH.
222
00:09:55,165 --> 00:09:58,898
YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD
INVITE ANDY IN.
223
00:09:58,899 --> 00:10:00,770
YEAH.
WHY NOT? SURE.
224
00:10:00,771 --> 00:10:02,001
OKAY.
OKAY, GREAT.
225
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:05,835
NOTHING TO HIDE.
COME ON, PLEASE.
226
00:10:05,836 --> 00:10:07,336
(cell phone beeps)
227
00:10:07,337 --> 00:10:10,009
ANDY! ANDY!
ANDY, GET OUT OF YOUR TUX!
228
00:10:10,010 --> 00:10:11,280
GET OUT OF YOUR TUX!
229
00:10:11,281 --> 00:10:13,713
(Andy)
Who is this?
230
00:10:13,714 --> 00:10:15,985
THIS IS JIM!
WHO ELSE DO YOU THINK IT IS?
231
00:10:15,986 --> 00:10:17,987
GET OUT OF YOUR TUX NOW!
TAKE IT OFF!
232
00:10:17,988 --> 00:10:19,048
Roger that.
233
00:10:19,049 --> 00:10:21,791
(Cheryl)
Get out of that car!
234
00:10:21,792 --> 00:10:23,923
Ow! Ow! Hey!
235
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,725
(Dana)
Quit squirming!
236
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:26,927
Ow! That's my ear.
237
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,035
HEY, JIM.
238
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,136
HEY, ANDY.
239
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:40,270
YOU READY FOR
ELEGANT PANTLESS BOWLING NIGHT?
240
00:10:43,774 --> 00:10:46,677
JUST ABOUT.
241
00:10:53,984 --> 00:10:55,124
JIM, I JUST
DON'T UNDERSTAND
242
00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:57,026
WHY YOU KEEP TRYING
TO TRICK ME.
243
00:10:57,027 --> 00:10:58,327
I ALWAYS SEE THROUGH IT.
244
00:10:58,328 --> 00:11:00,029
YEAH, I'M SEEING THROUGH
SOMETHING ELSE.
245
00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:02,291
CAN WE PUT
THE PANTS BACK ON?
246
00:11:02,292 --> 00:11:05,134
CHERYL, I JUST THINK THAT,
YOU KNOW,
247
00:11:05,135 --> 00:11:07,797
YOU DESERVE TO GET RECOGNITION
FOR ALL YOUR GOOD WORKS.
248
00:11:07,798 --> 00:11:09,969
HOW? BY GOING TO
A PARTY WITHOUT ME?
249
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:13,342
WELL, YOU KNOW...
YOU'RE SHY.
250
00:11:13,343 --> 00:11:15,044
OH...
251
00:11:15,045 --> 00:11:17,206
WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THIS?
252
00:11:17,207 --> 00:11:19,178
WELL, I'M SURE
THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT,
253
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,310
BUT THE DINNER'S GONNA BE HELD
AT THE PLAYBOY MANSION,
254
00:11:21,311 --> 00:11:23,212
AND IT'S BEING HOSTED
BY HUGH HEFNER.
255
00:11:23,213 --> 00:11:25,684
IT IS?
256
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,116
HUGH HEFNER?
257
00:11:27,117 --> 00:11:29,919
IS THAT ONE OF
OUR NEW MUSIC STARS?
258
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:31,961
YOU KNOW WHAT
BOTHERS ME THE MOST?
259
00:11:31,962 --> 00:11:33,963
IT'S NOT
THIS RIDICULOUS PLAN.
260
00:11:33,964 --> 00:11:35,965
BUT YOU DON'T HAVE
THE SLIGHTEST IDEA
261
00:11:35,966 --> 00:11:37,226
WHY I DO WHAT I DO.
262
00:11:37,227 --> 00:11:39,829
FAIR ENOUGH.
263
00:11:39,830 --> 00:11:43,072
BUT, CHERYL, COME ON,
THEY'RE GIVING YOU THIS AWARD.
264
00:11:43,073 --> 00:11:44,273
THEY'RE GONNA HONOR YOU.
265
00:11:44,274 --> 00:11:47,106
THERE SHOULD BE SOMEONE THERE
TO ACCEPT IT.
266
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:50,709
OH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.
267
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,082
I GUESS SOMEONE
SHOULD BE THERE.
268
00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:56,145
YES! GET YOUR PANTS,
WE'RE GONNA MEET HUGH!
269
00:11:56,146 --> 00:11:58,988
OH, NOT YOU TWO!
270
00:11:58,989 --> 00:12:00,349
ME AND DANA.
271
00:12:00,350 --> 00:12:01,720
WHY DANA?
272
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,952
'CAUSE SHE'S NOT YOU!
273
00:12:02,953 --> 00:12:04,453
HA!
274
00:12:04,454 --> 00:12:07,026
TWO CHICKS?
WHAT A WASTE.
275
00:12:07,027 --> 00:12:09,358
WHOO-HOO!
I'M GONNA MEET HUGH HEFNER.
276
00:12:09,359 --> 00:12:11,360
BUT THIS DOESN'T EVEN
MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU.
277
00:12:11,361 --> 00:12:14,333
NO, BUT IT MEANS
SOMETHING TO YOU.
278
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,936
FINE. GO!
279
00:12:16,937 --> 00:12:19,268
I DON'T CARE.
WE'LL HANG OUT HERE.
280
00:12:19,269 --> 00:12:21,040
(chuckles)
281
00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,313
WE'LL WATCH
THE PLAYBOY CHANNEL!
282
00:12:25,415 --> 00:12:27,947
THIS IS SO WRONG.
283
00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,119
I'M NOT GONNA
LET THEM MEET HEF
284
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:35,284
WHILE I SIT HERE AND WONDER
HOW FAR UP YOU WAXED YOUR LEGS.
285
00:12:35,285 --> 00:12:37,457
BRAZILIAN.
286
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:51,100
OH... OH, MY GOD.
THIS IS FANTASTIC.
287
00:12:51,101 --> 00:12:53,302
I FEEL ALL TINGLY ALL OVER.
288
00:12:53,303 --> 00:12:55,905
THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR TUX
IS TOO TIGHT.
289
00:12:55,906 --> 00:12:58,908
OKAY, NOW JUST PRETEND LIKE
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
290
00:12:58,909 --> 00:13:00,009
RIGHT.
291
00:13:00,010 --> 00:13:02,111
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
292
00:13:02,112 --> 00:13:04,884
NO IDEA. ASK HIM.
293
00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,916
WE'RE WITH THE BAND.
294
00:13:06,917 --> 00:13:10,059
THE SOUTH SIDE BOYS' CHOIR?
295
00:13:10,060 --> 00:13:13,122
(high-pitched voice)
THAT'S US.
296
00:13:13,123 --> 00:13:15,494
I MAY JUST BE
AN $8-AN-HOUR RENT-A-COP,
297
00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,897
BUT EVEN I'M NOT BUYING THAT.
298
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,128
$8 AN HOUR?
299
00:13:19,129 --> 00:13:20,129
MM-HMM.
300
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:23,072
HEY, LOOK, UH...
301
00:13:23,073 --> 00:13:26,035
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
THE NEXT HALF-HOUR OFF ON ME?
302
00:13:26,036 --> 00:13:29,038
SIR, YOU'RE GONNA
NEED TICKETS.
303
00:13:29,039 --> 00:13:31,140
ALL RIGHT.
304
00:13:31,141 --> 00:13:33,042
CAN I HAVE
MY 4 BUCKS BACK?
305
00:13:33,043 --> 00:13:34,484
WHAT 4 BUCKS?
306
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,317
HEADS UP! HEADS UP!
HEADS UP!
307
00:13:38,318 --> 00:13:40,049
OW!
308
00:13:40,050 --> 00:13:42,922
SO, MOLLY, SO DO YOU
WORK FOR THE MAGAZINE OR...?
309
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,023
YOU KNOW, I DID.
310
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,055
I USED TO MODEL, BUT NOW I WORK
IN A DOCTOR'S OFFICE.
311
00:13:46,056 --> 00:13:50,099
OH! I JUST MARRIED A DOCTOR.
GYNECOLOGIST, ACTUALLY.
312
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,963
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M ACTUALLY
LOOKING... NO CHANCE IN HELL, MOLLY.
313
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,211
(gasps)
LOOK!
314
00:14:05,115 --> 00:14:08,147
THAT'S MY CIGAR.
315
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,880
THAT'S MY HEF!
316
00:14:10,881 --> 00:14:13,352
RIGHT THIS WAY, EVERYONE.
317
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,484
EXCUSE ME, MRS. POLSON,
ARE THESE FOLKS WITH YOU?
318
00:14:15,485 --> 00:14:18,357
YES, THEY'RE GUESTS OF
THE UNION STREET MISSION.
319
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,289
THE MISSION.
YES, OF COURSE.
320
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:22,062
RIGHT THIS WAY.
321
00:14:24,995 --> 00:14:27,596
THE MISSION.
322
00:14:27,597 --> 00:14:30,440
(haughty voice)
YES, OF COURSE.
323
00:14:38,108 --> 00:14:40,980
JUST A MINUTE, YOU TWO.
324
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,611
IF YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR MRS. POLSON,
325
00:14:42,612 --> 00:14:45,014
SHE'S AT TABLE FIVE.
326
00:14:45,015 --> 00:14:47,656
(haggard voice)
GOD BLESS YOU, SIR.
327
00:14:47,657 --> 00:14:51,220
(Irish accent)
YOU'RE A GOOD LAD.
328
00:14:51,221 --> 00:14:53,522
HEY, COULD YOU
SPARE ANYTHING
329
00:14:53,523 --> 00:14:56,025
FOR A COUPLE OF GUYS
DOWN ON THEIR LUCK?
330
00:14:56,026 --> 00:14:58,327
SORRY, MAN,
I DON'T HAVE ANY SINGLES.
331
00:14:58,328 --> 00:15:00,399
(normal voice)
YOU DO, TOO.
332
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,431
I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT...
333
00:15:02,432 --> 00:15:04,904
GOD BLESS YOU, SIR.
334
00:15:11,181 --> 00:15:12,911
THANK YOU.
335
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,913
I MEAN, I'M NOT
TRYING TO TELL YOU
336
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,345
HOW TO RUN YOUR MAGAZINE.
337
00:15:16,346 --> 00:15:18,917
NO, I'LL BRING IT UP
WITH MY EDITOR.
338
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,120
MAYBE RECIPES
ARE A GOOD IDEA.
339
00:15:21,121 --> 00:15:23,622
YEAH, I THINK SO.
340
00:15:23,623 --> 00:15:25,154
MR. HEFNER,
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
341
00:15:25,155 --> 00:15:27,056
TWO OF OUR GUESTS
FROM THE MISSION.
342
00:15:27,057 --> 00:15:28,527
WELL, IT'S A PLEASURE.
343
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,529
I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING
A GOOD TIME.
344
00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:33,402
OH, YES, ABSOLUTELY.
THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE.
345
00:15:33,403 --> 00:15:35,634
HEY, HEF, LET ME
ASK YOU A QUESTION.
346
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:38,067
WHAT IS YOUR SECRET?
347
00:15:38,068 --> 00:15:42,171
WELL, FOR ME, RULE NUMBER ONE
IS NEVER LIE TO A WOMAN.
348
00:15:42,172 --> 00:15:43,512
SAME HERE.
349
00:15:43,513 --> 00:15:46,215
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
350
00:15:46,216 --> 00:15:48,217
WELL, WE'RE HERE
TO HONOR YOU, CHERYL, RIGHT?
351
00:15:48,218 --> 00:15:49,218
YEAH.
352
00:15:49,219 --> 00:15:50,319
YOU KNOW WHAT?
353
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:52,051
THIS WOMAN TURNED
MY LIFE AROUND, HEF.
354
00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:55,184
BEFORE I MET HER,
I WAS COLD AND ALONE,
355
00:15:55,185 --> 00:15:57,256
AND THEN SHE FED ME
AND CLOTHED ME AND...
356
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,527
IS THAT A COHIBA?
357
00:15:58,528 --> 00:16:00,190
YES, IT IS.
358
00:16:04,094 --> 00:16:06,165
I'LL GET YOU ONE.
359
00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:07,366
OH, THANKS.
360
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:10,139
(laughing)
361
00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:12,101
I AM HONESTLY
SO STUNNED RIGHT NOW.
362
00:16:12,102 --> 00:16:14,203
I KNOW... HEF'S GETTING ME
A CIGAR!
363
00:16:14,204 --> 00:16:17,146
NO! I CAN'T BELIEVE
WHAT YOU'LL STOOP TO.
364
00:16:17,147 --> 00:16:20,149
OH, COME ON, I DID
THREE WORSE THINGS THIS WEEK.
365
00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:22,251
CHERYL, TONIGHT, JIM GAVE
THE CLOTHES OFF HIS BACK
366
00:16:22,252 --> 00:16:23,682
TO A HOBO.
367
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,015
YOU KNOW WHO I THINK SHOULD BE
HONORED HERE THIS EVENING?
368
00:16:26,016 --> 00:16:27,416
THIS MAN.
ME?
369
00:16:27,417 --> 00:16:28,417
NAY, THIS SAINT.
370
00:16:28,418 --> 00:16:29,418
WHY, THANK YOU.
371
00:16:29,419 --> 00:16:30,719
NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
372
00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:34,393
I'M GONNA SEE HOW CHARITABLE
THESE GIRLS REALLY ARE.
373
00:16:34,394 --> 00:16:36,125
(Mrs. Polson)
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
374
00:16:36,126 --> 00:16:38,427
IT'S TIME TO MEET
TONIGHT'S HONOREES.
375
00:16:38,428 --> 00:16:42,000
OUR FIRST WINNER IS FROM
HELP FOR THE HOMELESS.
376
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,603
CHERYL, WOULD YOU COME UP
AND READ YOUR ESSAY?
377
00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:46,205
(whispering)
HOLY CRAP!
378
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,676
(normal voice)
I HAVE TO READ IT?
379
00:16:47,677 --> 00:16:49,678
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT...
ROOM FULL OF HOMELESS PEOPLE,
380
00:16:49,679 --> 00:16:51,340
OPEN BAR, EASY CROWD...
COME ON.
381
00:16:51,341 --> 00:16:53,011
OH, JIM.
382
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,614
GET UP THERE.
383
00:16:57,687 --> 00:16:59,048
ARE YOU OKAY?
384
00:16:59,049 --> 00:17:01,520
THERE MAY BE SOMETHING ALIVE
IN MY SHIRT.
385
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,521
I'M FINE.
386
00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:06,024
CHERYL'S ESSAY
IS A LITTLE UNUSUAL.
387
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,127
IT WAS WRITTEN BY
HER HUSBAND JIM,
388
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:09,628
BECAUSE, IN HIS WORDS,
389
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,800
SHE WAS TOO MODEST
TO DO IT HERSELF.
390
00:17:11,801 --> 00:17:14,533
HEY, HEF...
391
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:18,407
IS THAT CIGAR
COMING ALL THE WAY FROM CUBA?
392
00:17:18,408 --> 00:17:20,240
OH, RIGHT.
393
00:17:22,612 --> 00:17:24,813
YOU PICK.
GO RIGHT AHEAD.
394
00:17:24,814 --> 00:17:26,675
WHY, THANK YOU, SIR.
395
00:17:26,676 --> 00:17:28,678
(Cheryl clears throat)
396
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,682
"DO YOU EVER WONDER
IF SOME PEOPLE
397
00:17:33,683 --> 00:17:36,725
"ARE JUST BORN WITH
A LITTLE EXTRA GOOD INSIDE?
398
00:17:36,726 --> 00:17:38,387
"WELL, THAT'S MY WIFE CHERYL.
399
00:17:38,388 --> 00:17:40,359
"SHE MAKES THE WORLD
A BETTER PLACE
400
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:42,632
"JUST BY BEING IN IT."
401
00:17:44,734 --> 00:17:46,666
AWW.
402
00:17:48,698 --> 00:17:50,570
(whispering)
HEF. HEF.
403
00:17:58,848 --> 00:18:03,682
"JUST ASK THE ROBBINS FAMILY
FROM THE SOUTH SIDE.
404
00:18:03,683 --> 00:18:05,814
"SIX MONTHS AGO,
RAY AND CINDY
405
00:18:05,815 --> 00:18:08,187
"DIDN'T HAVE A ROOF
OVER THEIR HEADS,
406
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:09,688
"AND LITTLE COREY AND ROSIE
407
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,760
"DIDN'T HAVE A PLACE
TO GO TO SCHOOL.
408
00:18:11,761 --> 00:18:13,091
"NOW THEY DO.
409
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:17,166
"BECAUSE CHERYL RAN BAKE SALES
AND CAR WASHES
410
00:18:17,167 --> 00:18:20,098
"AND STUFFED ENVELOPES
AND MADE PHONE CALLS
411
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,531
"UNTIL SHE RAISED ENOUGH MONEY
TO HELP THEM.
412
00:18:22,532 --> 00:18:25,574
"AND SHE DIDN'T JUST GIVE
THE FAMILY A HOUSE.
413
00:18:25,575 --> 00:18:28,477
"SHE GAVE THEM HOPE.
414
00:18:28,478 --> 00:18:32,110
"AND I CAN TELL YOU
THE SAME STORY
415
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,783
"ABOUT THE GARCIA FAMILY
OR THE FRANKLIN FAMILY
416
00:18:34,784 --> 00:18:36,415
"OR EVEN MY FAMILY.
417
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,647
"WITH ALL HER CHARITY WORK,
418
00:18:38,648 --> 00:18:40,789
"CHERYL STILL HAS ROOM
IN THAT BIG, BEAUTIFUL HEART
419
00:18:40,790 --> 00:18:43,192
"TO TAKE CARE OF
HER THREE CHILDREN.
420
00:18:43,193 --> 00:18:45,595
"FOUR, IF YOU INCLUDE ME."
421
00:18:48,298 --> 00:18:51,160
"YOU'D THINK SHE'D WANT CREDIT
FOR EVERYTHING SHE DOES.
422
00:18:51,161 --> 00:18:52,231
"NOT CHERYL.
423
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:55,434
"SHE SAYS HER REWARDS
COME FROM THE INSIDE.
424
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,207
"THERE'S A WORD
FOR SOMEONE LIKE THAT...
425
00:18:58,208 --> 00:19:01,171
"ANGEL."
426
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:05,545
(mouthing)
TURN IT OVER.
427
00:19:08,378 --> 00:19:12,150
"PLEASE FORWARD THIS ON
TO THE PEOPLE AT THE CONTEST.
428
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,585
"I REALLY WANT TO MEET HEF."
429
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:20,689
"IF HONORABLE MENTION IS
A SUBSCRIPTION TO THE MAGAZINE,
430
00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:23,363
"THAT'S COOL, TOO."
431
00:19:26,296 --> 00:19:29,368
SHE'S QUITE A WOMAN.
432
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:33,272
YEAH, YOU'D THINK HER HUSBAND
WOULD BE HERE.
433
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:36,645
WELL, HE'S, UH,
HE'S PROBABLY IN SURGERY.
434
00:19:36,646 --> 00:19:38,448
HE'S A WORLD RENOWNED DOCTOR.
435
00:19:39,849 --> 00:19:41,911
HEY, MATCH ME,
WOULD YOU?
436
00:19:45,655 --> 00:19:50,219
AHH... IT'S A NEW DETERGENT.
I THINK I'M ALLERGIC.
437
00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:52,691
OW...
438
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:55,764
I'M JUST SO SICK OF
ALL THE HUNKY GUYS IN TOWN.
439
00:19:55,765 --> 00:19:58,927
OH, I'D LOVE JUST ONCE
TO GO OUT WITH SOMEBODY SMART.
440
00:19:58,928 --> 00:20:00,969
LIKE MAYBE AN ARCHITECT.
441
00:20:00,970 --> 00:20:03,672
HEY... HEY,
I'M AN ARCHITECT.
442
00:20:03,673 --> 00:20:06,835
I WENT TO STANFORD,
I SWEAR.
443
00:20:06,836 --> 00:20:08,837
NO, I OWN MY OWN HOME.
444
00:20:08,838 --> 00:20:11,840
HONEST TO GOD!
445
00:20:11,841 --> 00:20:13,382
(laughs)
446
00:20:13,383 --> 00:20:16,585
NICE JOB, LADIES.
447
00:20:16,586 --> 00:20:18,547
OKAY, NOW IN 20 MINUTES,
WALK BY AND SAY
448
00:20:18,548 --> 00:20:21,250
YOUR FANTASY IS A LARGE MAN
WITH TWO SISTERS
449
00:20:21,251 --> 00:20:23,993
'CAUSE GUYS LIKE THAT
REALLY UNDERSTAND WOMEN.
450
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:31,801
♪♪♪
451
00:20:35,004 --> 00:20:37,906
HONEY, THAT ESSAY
WAS BEAUTIFUL.
452
00:20:37,907 --> 00:20:40,609
WELL, THANK YOU, HONEY.
453
00:20:40,610 --> 00:20:42,871
EVEN IF YOU DID WRITE IT
JUST TO MEET HEF.
454
00:20:42,872 --> 00:20:44,773
WELL, THAT'S THE THING,
YOU SEE.
455
00:20:44,774 --> 00:20:47,517
I DON'T REALLY GET MY REWARDS
FROM THE INSIDE.
456
00:20:49,349 --> 00:20:51,920
NOW TELL ME. THE TRUTH.
I GOTTA KNOW.
457
00:20:51,921 --> 00:20:54,583
GETTING A LITTLE CREDIT
FEELS GOOD?
458
00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:55,924
YEAH, IT REALLY DOES.
459
00:20:55,925 --> 00:20:57,856
OH, GOOD. I KNEW IT.
460
00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:00,258
AND, YOU KNOW,
SINCE YOU KNOW ME SO WELL...
461
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,530
MM-HMM.
462
00:21:01,531 --> 00:21:03,632
YOU PROBABLY KNOW HOW MUCH
IT WOULD MEAN TO ME
463
00:21:03,633 --> 00:21:05,764
IF YOU WOULD HELP OUT
AT THE SOUP KITCHEN NEXT WEEK.
464
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,396
ABSOLUTELY.
REALLY?
465
00:21:07,397 --> 00:21:08,497
GLAD TO DO IT.
SURE, SURE.
466
00:21:08,498 --> 00:21:10,799
I LEARNED THAT IT'S NOT ABOUT
WHAT I GET,
467
00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,270
IT'S ABOUT HELPING OTHERS.
468
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,902
WOW.
469
00:21:13,903 --> 00:21:15,004
WHAT'S THE SOUP?
470
00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:25,515
WOW, CHERYL,
THE GIVING NEVER STOPS.
30164
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