All language subtitles for According to Jim S05E03 - The Tale of the Tape (2) (2005) WEB-DL 1080p.ENG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,232 --> 00:00:02,632 PREVIOUSLY ON "ACCORDING TO JIM"... 2 00:00:02,633 --> 00:00:05,135 I HAVE A ROMANTIC ACE IN THE HOLE RIGHT HERE. 3 00:00:05,136 --> 00:00:06,276 IS THAT THE TAPE? 4 00:00:06,277 --> 00:00:07,677 THE MIX TAPE 5 00:00:07,678 --> 00:00:10,240 THAT CHERYL MADE FOR ME ON OUR THIRD DATE. 6 00:00:10,241 --> 00:00:11,641 AND OVER THE YEARS, 7 00:00:11,642 --> 00:00:13,243 THIS TAPE BECAME THE SOUNDTRACK 8 00:00:13,244 --> 00:00:15,215 FOR OUR FAIRY TALE LIVES. 9 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:16,346 REMEMBER THIS? 10 00:00:16,347 --> 00:00:19,419 OH, MY GOD! JIM, IS THAT OUR MIX TAPE? 11 00:00:19,420 --> 00:00:22,122 YEAH! THIS IS AMAZING! 12 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:23,393 LET'S HEAR IT. 13 00:00:23,394 --> 00:00:26,257 OH, HONEY, THAT'S JUST CD. WE DON'T HAVE A TAPE DECK. 14 00:00:28,399 --> 00:00:30,130 I HAD IT MADE INTO A CD. 15 00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,731 IT JUST BOOSTED ALL THE LEVELS. 16 00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,133 IT SOUNDS REALLY CLEAR. 17 00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:35,405 (Man) I LOVE YOU, CHERYL. 18 00:00:35,406 --> 00:00:37,337 THAT'S MY EX-BOYFRIEND CHAD. 19 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,809 WHY IS CHAD ON A MIX TAPE YOU MADE FOR JIM? 20 00:00:39,810 --> 00:00:42,812 BECAUSE I DIDN'T MAKE IT FOR JIM. 21 00:00:42,813 --> 00:00:44,674 CHAD MADE IT FOR ME. 22 00:00:44,675 --> 00:00:47,218 ♪♪♪ 23 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,555 WHY DID YOU GIVE JIM A MIX TAPE 24 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,527 THAT YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND MADE FOR YOU? 25 00:00:57,528 --> 00:01:00,390 I DIDN'T. JIM CAME TO PICK ME UP FOR A DATE, 26 00:01:00,391 --> 00:01:02,263 AND IT WAS JUST SITTING THERE. 27 00:01:05,396 --> 00:01:07,398 "BLUES FOR MY BABY"? 28 00:01:10,801 --> 00:01:13,703 WOW. ALBERT COLLINS. 29 00:01:13,704 --> 00:01:15,805 DELBERT McCLINTON. 30 00:01:15,806 --> 00:01:17,278 ETTA JAMES? 31 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:25,355 CHERYL, THIS IS THE NICEST THING ANYONE'S EVER MADE FOR ME. 32 00:01:25,356 --> 00:01:27,418 THANK YOU. 33 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,761 YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THE LOOK ON HIS FACE. 34 00:01:31,762 --> 00:01:33,393 IT REALLY TOUCHED ME. 35 00:01:33,394 --> 00:01:35,365 THE LOOK ON HIS FACE? 36 00:01:35,366 --> 00:01:38,498 CHERYL, COULDN'T YOU JUST GET A HOUSE FULL OF CATS? 37 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,570 THEY MAKE FACES, AND THEY'RE CLEAN. 38 00:01:40,571 --> 00:01:42,702 DANA, SERIOUSLY. 39 00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,635 I SAW SOMETHING IN JIM I HADN'T SEEN BEFORE. 40 00:01:45,636 --> 00:01:48,408 I COULDN'T TELL HIM CHAD MADE THE TAPE FOR ME. 41 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,310 HE WOULD HAVE FELT AWFUL. 42 00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:52,312 WELL, NOT AS AWFUL AS HE'S GONNA FEEL 43 00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:54,144 WHEN HE HEARS THE NEW BONUS TRACK... 44 00:01:54,145 --> 00:01:56,146 (imitating Chad) "I WUV YOU, CHEWYL." 45 00:01:56,147 --> 00:02:00,220 YEAH, I DATED ELMER FUDD. WE HUNTED WABBITS. 46 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,591 WHAT AM I GONNA DO? 47 00:02:01,592 --> 00:02:03,293 GAS TANK FULL IN THE MINIVAN? 48 00:02:03,294 --> 00:02:05,155 I'M NOT RUNNING AWAY. 49 00:02:05,156 --> 00:02:06,656 ARE YOU SURE, CHERYL? 50 00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:10,730 WOMEN WITH HUSBANDS A LOT BETTER THAN YOURS DO IT EVERY DAY. 51 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:12,432 EVEN SO... 52 00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:14,204 OHH. 53 00:02:14,205 --> 00:02:18,239 ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT THIS? 54 00:02:27,318 --> 00:02:29,220 OOPS. BLENDER ACCIDENT. 55 00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:34,185 HOW IS IT THAT YOU AND JIM DON'T GET ALONG? 56 00:02:37,428 --> 00:02:40,690 JIM, SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENED. 57 00:02:40,691 --> 00:02:44,163 HONEY, I LIT A MATCH. 58 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,336 WELL, I WAS MAKING YOU A SMOOTHIE, 59 00:02:46,337 --> 00:02:48,298 AND THE CD FELL IN THE BLENDER. 60 00:02:48,299 --> 00:02:50,640 IT'S RUINED FOREVER. 61 00:02:50,641 --> 00:02:53,303 OH, BABY, DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT. 62 00:02:53,304 --> 00:02:54,604 YOU KNOW WHAT? 63 00:02:54,605 --> 00:02:57,707 IT COST THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY TO MAKE ONE COPY OF THE CD 64 00:02:57,708 --> 00:03:01,181 AS IT WAS TO MAKE 50. 65 00:03:03,354 --> 00:03:05,715 SO I MADE 50, I SOLD ONE TO ANDY, 66 00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:08,458 AND THE WHOLE THING PAID FOR ITSELF. 67 00:03:08,459 --> 00:03:12,322 WOW. 50 COPIES, HUH? 68 00:03:12,323 --> 00:03:14,794 WOW, YOU REALLY THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING. 69 00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,967 YOUR MAN IS A GENIUS. 70 00:03:18,769 --> 00:03:22,702 NOW WHERE WERE WE? AH, YES. 71 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,874 WE WERE TALKING ABOUT ROMANCE. 72 00:03:24,875 --> 00:03:27,607 (music playing) 73 00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,640 SHALL WE CONTINUE? 74 00:03:30,641 --> 00:03:32,842 WE SHALL. 75 00:03:32,843 --> 00:03:35,315 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. YOU KNOW WHAT? 76 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:37,717 THIS IS A VERY SPECIAL NIGHT. 77 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,749 I WANT TO DANCE. 78 00:03:39,750 --> 00:03:41,351 OKAY, HONEY. 79 00:03:41,352 --> 00:03:44,354 IT'S JUST... I FEEL LIKE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD. 80 00:03:44,355 --> 00:03:45,695 WHOA! 81 00:03:45,696 --> 00:03:47,597 HONEY, IT HAS TO BE. 82 00:03:47,598 --> 00:03:48,998 REMEMBER LAST WEEK? 83 00:03:48,999 --> 00:03:52,002 KYLE THOUGHT WE HAD A BEAR LIVING IN HERE. 84 00:03:58,309 --> 00:04:00,270 OHH! (laughs) 85 00:04:00,271 --> 00:04:02,273 AND DIP. 86 00:04:03,874 --> 00:04:05,275 CHERYL. 87 00:04:05,276 --> 00:04:07,277 CHERYL, COME ON! YOU ARE HARD TO HANDLE. 88 00:04:07,278 --> 00:04:09,549 OH! (laughs) YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY? 89 00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:13,453 I CAN'T WAIT ANY LONGER! TAKE ME NOW! 90 00:04:13,454 --> 00:04:18,888 OH, HONEY, THAT IS TOO LOW. I'M GONNA HEAR MY KNEE CREAK. 91 00:04:18,889 --> 00:04:22,332 (raises volume) 92 00:04:22,333 --> 00:04:25,795 OH, CHERYL. YOU KNOW WHAT? 93 00:04:25,796 --> 00:04:29,369 I SHOULD SAY THIS MORE OFTEN, BUT... 94 00:04:29,370 --> 00:04:31,642 (Chad) I LOVE YOU, CHERYL. 95 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,855 I LOVE YOU, TOO, JIM. 96 00:04:45,856 --> 00:04:48,488 WHAT WAS THAT? 97 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:50,660 WELL, YOU SAID "I LOVE YOU, CHERYL," 98 00:04:50,661 --> 00:04:53,323 AND I SAID "I LOVE YOU, TOO." 99 00:04:53,324 --> 00:04:56,466 I DIDN'T SAY "I LOVE YOU, CHERYL." 100 00:04:56,467 --> 00:04:59,699 WHAT? WHY NOT? 101 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,501 DON'T YOU LOVE ME? 102 00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:04,604 NOW I'M UPSET. 103 00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,736 CHERYL, I DID NOT SAY "I LOVE YOU, CHERYL." 104 00:05:06,737 --> 00:05:08,738 THAT WASN'T ME. 105 00:05:08,739 --> 00:05:12,382 WELL, DO YOU WANT TO ARGUE, OR DO YOU WANT TO HAVE SEX? 106 00:05:12,383 --> 00:05:14,814 MMM. 107 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,587 SEX. 108 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:19,919 WAIT A MINUTE! 109 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:24,355 I AM SURE THAT WASN'T ME SAYING "I LOVE YOU, CHERYL." 110 00:05:27,998 --> 00:05:30,330 (Chad) I LOVE YOU, CHERYL. 111 00:05:32,633 --> 00:05:35,636 I LOVE YOU, CHERYL. 112 00:05:37,768 --> 00:05:40,410 ...CHERYL. 113 00:05:40,411 --> 00:05:42,372 OKAY, UM, AHEM. 114 00:05:42,373 --> 00:05:45,014 YOU KNOW HOW THEY SAY EVERY TIME YOU LAUGH, 115 00:05:45,015 --> 00:05:47,517 IT ADDS SEVEN MINUTES TO YOUR LIFE? 116 00:05:47,518 --> 00:05:50,581 WELL, THIS IS GONNA ADD, LIKE, TWO WEEKS. 117 00:05:52,352 --> 00:05:56,726 THAT VOICE ON THE TAPE? IT WAS MY EX-BOYFRIEND CHAD. 118 00:05:56,727 --> 00:05:58,758 (laughing) 'CAUSE... 'CAUSE... 119 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:02,632 WAIT. 'CAUSE I DIDN'T MAKE THAT TAPE FOR YOU. 120 00:06:02,633 --> 00:06:05,364 CHAD MADE IT FOR ME. 121 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:08,668 (forced laughter) 122 00:06:08,669 --> 00:06:13,473 HONEY, IT DOESN'T WORK IF YOU KEEP ALL THOSE LAUGHS INSIDE. 123 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,004 COME ON! 124 00:06:15,005 --> 00:06:17,407 CHERYL, BUT YOU GAVE ME THIS TAPE. 125 00:06:17,408 --> 00:06:22,151 NO. ACTUALLY, YOU FOUND IT AND ASSUMED IT WAS FOR YOU. 126 00:06:22,152 --> 00:06:25,455 NOW LET'S HAVE A GOOD LAUGH, THEN GO HAVE SEX. 127 00:06:25,456 --> 00:06:29,089 OH, OH! I KNOW. AND A SANDWICH. 128 00:06:31,161 --> 00:06:34,894 CHERYL, OUR WHOLE LIVES HAVE BEEN CENTERED AROUND THIS TAPE, 129 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:36,826 EVERY SPECIAL MOMENT. 130 00:06:36,827 --> 00:06:40,099 AND NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME THIS TAPE IS A LIE? 131 00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:42,572 WHAT ELSE IN OUR LIFE IS A LIE? 132 00:06:42,573 --> 00:06:46,005 THE CHILDREN... ARE THEY MINE? 133 00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:49,078 I KNEW THEY WERE TOO GOOD-LOOKING. 134 00:06:49,079 --> 00:06:52,111 JIM, I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE TAPE, 135 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,983 BUT YOU LOVED IT SO MUCH. 136 00:06:53,984 --> 00:06:55,985 AND YOU KNOW, THE MORE WE LISTENED TO IT, 137 00:06:55,986 --> 00:06:58,087 THE MORE IT REALLY DID BECOME OUR TAPE. 138 00:06:58,088 --> 00:06:59,689 PLEASE BELIEVE ME. 139 00:06:59,690 --> 00:07:03,693 I'D LIKE TO BELIEVE YOU... IF I KNEW WHO YOU WERE! 140 00:07:03,694 --> 00:07:04,824 JIM! 141 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,996 SERIOUSLY, CHERYL, FOR ALL I KNOW, 142 00:07:06,997 --> 00:07:11,501 YOU COULD BE REPORTING OUR WHOLE LIFE TO YOUR HANDLER IN MOSCOW. 143 00:07:11,502 --> 00:07:13,963 I AM NOT A COMMUNIST SPY. 144 00:07:13,964 --> 00:07:17,637 OH, RIGHT... CONRAD. 145 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:20,610 IT'S COMRADE. 146 00:07:20,611 --> 00:07:23,613 AHA! YOU TELL MOTHER RUSSIA 147 00:07:23,614 --> 00:07:26,015 I'M JUST A LITTLE TOO SMART FOR HER. 148 00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:29,048 DID YOU EVEN LISTEN TO YOURSELF? 149 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,481 JIM, NOW... OH, COME ON, HONEY. 150 00:07:31,482 --> 00:07:35,154 CAN'T WE JUST FORGET THIS AND RESUME A ROMANTIC EVENING? 151 00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,086 CHERYL, I WILL BE IN THE BACKYARD 152 00:07:37,087 --> 00:07:38,928 DESTROYING THESE CDs. 153 00:07:38,929 --> 00:07:40,891 THE DREAM IS DEAD. 154 00:07:45,896 --> 00:07:50,600 OH... MY... GOD. 155 00:07:50,601 --> 00:07:53,774 THERE NEVER WAS A SMOOTHIE, WAS THERE? 156 00:08:03,053 --> 00:08:05,055 (playing blues) 157 00:08:07,658 --> 00:08:10,019 SOUNDED PRETTY GOOD. 158 00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:11,761 YEAH, WE SOUNDED PRETTY GOOD. 159 00:08:11,762 --> 00:08:13,262 YOU STOPPED SINGING HALFWAY THROUGH 160 00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:15,094 AND JUST STARED AT YOUR SHOES. 161 00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:18,669 IT'S A BLUES SONG. I GOT DEPRESSED. 162 00:08:20,270 --> 00:08:21,971 WHAT DO YOU GUYS WANT TO PLAY NEXT? 163 00:08:21,972 --> 00:08:23,633 HOW ABOUT "IF YOU LOVE ME LIKE YOU SAY"? 164 00:08:23,634 --> 00:08:25,134 PICK ANOTHER SONG. 165 00:08:25,135 --> 00:08:27,276 UM, WHAT ABOUT "I WANT YOUR LOVE"? 166 00:08:27,277 --> 00:08:28,808 LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE. 167 00:08:28,809 --> 00:08:30,610 HOW ABOUT "I'M WITH YOU"? 168 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:33,142 LET'S JUST PICK ANOTHER DAMN SONG! 169 00:08:33,143 --> 00:08:35,214 OH, I GET IT. 170 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:37,748 THOSE SONGS MAKE YOU MISS CHAD. 171 00:08:42,853 --> 00:08:45,054 I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE. 172 00:08:45,055 --> 00:08:47,056 YEAH, I KNOW, BUT THEY'RE YOUR FRIENDS, JIM. 173 00:08:47,057 --> 00:08:49,058 I THOUGHT THEY MIGHT HEAL YOUR PAIN. 174 00:08:49,059 --> 00:08:51,061 ALSO I THOUGHT IT'D BE REALLY FUNNY. 175 00:08:53,604 --> 00:08:56,606 COME ON, WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHO MADE SOME STUPID MIX TAPE? 176 00:08:56,607 --> 00:08:59,739 I DON'T KNOW, GUYS. 177 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:02,271 JIM, IF I MAY... 178 00:09:02,272 --> 00:09:04,875 MAN, THIS IS JUST LIKE "FLASHDANCE." 179 00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:08,818 FLASHDANCE GETS INTO A BIG BALLET COMPANY, 180 00:09:08,819 --> 00:09:11,550 AND THEN SHE REALIZES IT'S ALL BECAUSE 181 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:14,153 HER RICH BOYFRIEND PULLED SOME STRINGS. 182 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,285 IS THAT IT, JIM? 183 00:09:16,286 --> 00:09:18,759 IS IT LIKE "FLASHDANCE"? 184 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,292 KIND OF. 185 00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:25,294 WHAT DID FLASHDANCE DO? 186 00:09:25,295 --> 00:09:28,067 I'LL TELL YOU WHAT SHE DID. 187 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:31,270 SHE PUT ON SOME LEG WARMERS AND DANCED HER HEART OUT. 188 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,843 THERE YOU GO, JIM, THE ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS. 189 00:09:33,844 --> 00:09:35,174 OH, COME ON. 190 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,607 GO AHEAD, JIM. BE A MANIAC. 191 00:09:37,608 --> 00:09:40,780 YOU GUYS AREN'T HELPING ME AT ALL! 192 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,752 KNOCK IT OFF! COME ON! 193 00:09:42,753 --> 00:09:46,585 JIM, YOU CAN'T EXPECT US NOT TO LAUGH AT THIS STORY. 194 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,357 YOU DON'T KNOW THE WHOLE STORY. 195 00:09:48,358 --> 00:09:50,259 NEITHER DOES CHERYL. 196 00:09:50,260 --> 00:09:51,991 AND I'M GONNA TELL HER. 197 00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:53,994 ANDY, THE DOOR. 198 00:09:58,669 --> 00:10:00,671 WHAT A FEELING! 199 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:11,340 CHERYL? WE NEED TO TALK. 200 00:10:11,341 --> 00:10:14,013 I KNOW, HONEY. I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT THE TAPE. 201 00:10:14,014 --> 00:10:15,645 NO, NO, NO. STOP RIGHT THERE. 202 00:10:15,646 --> 00:10:17,887 THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN WANTING TO GET OFF MY CHEST. 203 00:10:17,888 --> 00:10:20,750 I WAS HOPING I'D NEVER HAVE TO TELL YOU, 204 00:10:20,751 --> 00:10:23,993 BUT THERE'S ANOTHER REASON THAT TAPE IS IMPORTANT TO ME. 205 00:10:23,994 --> 00:10:25,224 WHOO! 206 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,226 PARTY! 207 00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:29,799 OKAY. SUZY, SIT DOWN. SIT DOWN. 208 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:32,031 ALL RIGHT, LOOK. YOU SIT TIGHT, ALL RIGHT? 209 00:10:32,032 --> 00:10:34,765 I GOTTA GO TALK TO THIS CHICK CHERYL FOR A SECOND. 210 00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:39,809 HEY, WHAT'S A SENSITIVE WAY OF SAYING 211 00:10:39,810 --> 00:10:43,042 "I'M DUMPING YOU 'CAUSE YOU WON'T PUT OUT"? 212 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:46,315 I WOULDN'T KNOW. 213 00:10:46,316 --> 00:10:48,778 OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T. 214 00:10:48,779 --> 00:10:50,951 THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. 215 00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:55,654 HEY. 216 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,186 (imitating Jack Nicholson as The Joker) 217 00:10:57,187 --> 00:11:00,060 WAIT'LL THEY GET A LOAD OF ME. 218 00:11:02,693 --> 00:11:04,193 WHAT? 219 00:11:04,194 --> 00:11:07,266 THE JOKER FROM "BATMAN." DON'T YOU GET IT? 220 00:11:07,267 --> 00:11:10,941 OH, RIGHT. IT'S HILARIOUS. 221 00:11:13,343 --> 00:11:16,045 HEY, MR. QUEENIE. 222 00:11:16,046 --> 00:11:17,046 FEENEY. 223 00:11:17,047 --> 00:11:19,108 FEENEY. 224 00:11:19,109 --> 00:11:21,311 I REALLY LOVE CATS. 225 00:11:22,813 --> 00:11:25,755 HEY, CHERYL, I WAS THINKING... 226 00:11:25,756 --> 00:11:27,016 ME TOO. 227 00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:28,317 (music playing) 228 00:11:28,318 --> 00:11:30,389 IS THAT ETTA JAMES PLAYING? 229 00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,021 OH, IT'S A MIX TAPE. 230 00:11:32,022 --> 00:11:36,065 IF IT WEREN'T FOR THAT TAPE, I WOULD HAVE SAID "I'M THINKING 231 00:11:36,066 --> 00:11:38,167 "WE SHOULD SEE OTHER PEOPLE WHO AREN'T EACH OTHER. 232 00:11:38,168 --> 00:11:41,000 "HASTA LA VISTA, BABY." 233 00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:43,472 YOU WERE GONNA DUMP ME? 234 00:11:43,473 --> 00:11:45,474 YEAH. 235 00:11:45,475 --> 00:11:48,477 I MEAN, I FIGURED WE'D PART AS FRIENDS 236 00:11:48,478 --> 00:11:50,479 AND LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN 237 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,883 FOR A 2 A.M. BOOTY CALL, YOU KNOW? 238 00:11:53,884 --> 00:11:55,915 WOW. 239 00:11:55,916 --> 00:11:57,116 WOW, YEAH. 240 00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:58,487 WELL, I JUST THOUGHT 241 00:11:58,488 --> 00:12:01,020 YOU DESERVED TO KNOW THE WHOLE STORY. 242 00:12:01,021 --> 00:12:02,421 NO MORE SECRETS. 243 00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,394 RIGHT. GOOD. 244 00:12:05,395 --> 00:12:09,328 YOU KNOW, UM, AS LONG AS WE'RE BEING HONEST, 245 00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:12,001 THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW. 246 00:12:12,002 --> 00:12:13,462 OKAY, HOW'S THAT? 247 00:12:13,463 --> 00:12:15,204 I THINK IT NEEDS TO BE HIGHER. 248 00:12:15,205 --> 00:12:17,506 I WANT TO LOOK JUST LIKE DEBBIE GIBSON. 249 00:12:17,507 --> 00:12:19,909 WELL, YOU CAN HAVE HER PONYTAIL, 250 00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:23,142 BUT ONLY GOD HANDS OUT THAT KIND OF TALENT. 251 00:12:23,143 --> 00:12:25,976 OH, I CAN'T WAIT FOR HER SECOND ALBUM. 252 00:12:27,948 --> 00:12:30,950 CAN WE GO ALREADY? 253 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:33,182 WRESTLEMANIA II STARTS IN LESS THAN AN HOUR, 254 00:12:33,183 --> 00:12:35,154 AND THIS HULKAMANIAC DOESN'T WANT TO BE 255 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,156 IN THE BACK OF THE LINE WITH ALL THE LOSERS. 256 00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:39,358 YEAH, YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS SHOULD PROBABLY GO ANYWAY, 257 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,360 'CAUSE JIM'S GONNA BE HERE TO PICK ME UP SOON. 258 00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,963 OH, RELAX, CHERYL. IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE GONNA BE 259 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,966 HANGING AROUND YOU THE REST OF OUR LIVES. 260 00:12:48,298 --> 00:12:50,439 (imitating Hulk Hogan) WHAT YOU GONNA DO, BROTHER? 261 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:51,971 HUH? WHAT YOU GONNA DO 262 00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,975 WHEN THE LARGEST ARMS IN THE WORLD GO WILD ON YOU? 263 00:12:56,476 --> 00:13:00,309 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THE BACK STAIRS? 264 00:13:00,310 --> 00:13:02,781 WANT ME TO SHOW YOU THE ATOMIC LEG DROP? 265 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,083 DON'T TOUCH ME! 266 00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:07,386 DON'T WORRY, MR. FEENEY. ONE DAY I'LL GET MARRIED 267 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,819 AND TAKE YOU AWAY FROM THOSE TWO. 268 00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:12,521 (telephone ringing) 269 00:13:12,522 --> 00:13:15,524 HELLO? OH, HEY, MOM. 270 00:13:15,525 --> 00:13:19,098 NOTHING. I'M JUST WAITING FOR THAT GUY JIM TO PICK ME UP. 271 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:23,032 I DON'T KNOW. PROBABLY BACK TO THE ARCADE TO PLAY FROGGER. 272 00:13:23,033 --> 00:13:26,105 YEAH, I KNOW. I'M BREAKING UP WITH HIM TONIGHT. 273 00:13:26,106 --> 00:13:27,406 HE'S CUTE, 274 00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:30,539 BUT I JUST REALLY WANT A GUY WITH MORE DEPTH, YOU KNOW? 275 00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:35,214 THAT'S A GREAT IDEA. I'M TOTALLY GONNA GIVE HIM DANA'S NUMBER. 276 00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:37,086 (knock on door) 277 00:13:37,087 --> 00:13:40,389 OKAY, I GOTTA GO. OKAY. BYE-BYE. 278 00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:43,452 EXCUSE ME, MR. FEENEY. 279 00:13:43,453 --> 00:13:46,025 (Cheryl) I REALLY THOUGHT I WAS GONNA BREAK UP WITH YOU, 280 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,157 BUT I JUST WASN'T SURE. 281 00:13:48,158 --> 00:13:49,428 HEY. 282 00:13:49,429 --> 00:13:54,563 WAIT'LL THEY GET A LOAD OF ME. 283 00:13:54,564 --> 00:13:56,265 (Cheryl) I KNEW I WAS MAKING THE RIGHT DECISION 284 00:13:56,266 --> 00:13:59,238 WHEN YOU DID THE WHOLE "BATMAN" THING. 285 00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:00,940 BUT THEN YOU FOUND THE TAPE, 286 00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:02,942 AND I SAW A WHOLE NEW SIDE OF YOU. 287 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:06,115 I MEAN, THE WAY YOU TALKED ABOUT MUSIC MADE ME REALIZE 288 00:14:06,116 --> 00:14:08,517 THERE WAS A DEPTH TO YOU I JUST HADN'T SEEN BEFORE. 289 00:14:08,518 --> 00:14:10,519 THIS MUSIC IS SO GREAT. 290 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:14,383 I MEAN, THIS IS POWERFUL AND SEXY AND PASSIONATE AND... 291 00:14:14,384 --> 00:14:18,257 IT'S HONEST, IT'S RAW, IT'S PAINFUL, IT'S HUMOROUS. 292 00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:20,489 IT'S JUST... WHEN I LISTEN TO IT, 293 00:14:20,490 --> 00:14:23,393 I JUST FEEL IT ALL THROUGH MY BODY. 294 00:14:25,395 --> 00:14:28,367 I CAN'T TELL YOU WHAT THIS MEANS TO ME. 295 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:32,871 I STARTED THINKING "I'M NOT GONNA DUMP THIS GUY. 296 00:14:32,872 --> 00:14:35,444 "I'M GONNA FALL FOR THIS GUY." 297 00:14:35,445 --> 00:14:37,476 AND I DID. 298 00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:40,150 KEEP THOSE LIPS AWAY FROM ME, JEZEBEL! 299 00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:44,053 WHAT'S WRONG? 300 00:14:44,054 --> 00:14:45,985 YOU WERE GONNA DUMP ME? 301 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,287 WELL, YOU WERE GONNA DUMP ME, TOO, REMEMBER? 302 00:14:48,288 --> 00:14:51,520 I WAS LYING! 303 00:14:51,521 --> 00:14:54,994 HEY, TONY! GUESS WHERE I'M CALLING YOU FROM. 304 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,266 THE CAR. 305 00:14:57,267 --> 00:15:00,499 YEAH, ON MY NEW CELL-U-LAR PHONE. 306 00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:04,403 HEY, LISTEN, I'M NOT GONNA MAKE BAND PRACTICE TONIGHT. 307 00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,375 I GOT A DATE WITH CHERYL. 308 00:15:06,376 --> 00:15:10,379 I KNOW. I KNOW THE BAND IS ON THE BRINK OF GREATNESS, 309 00:15:10,380 --> 00:15:12,512 BUT CHERYL'S A STONE-COLD FOX. 310 00:15:14,644 --> 00:15:18,248 YEAH. WELL, I JUST HOPE SHE'S AS INTO IT AS I AM. 311 00:15:19,489 --> 00:15:22,952 WHAT? OH, THAT'S HYSTERICAL! 312 00:15:22,953 --> 00:15:26,425 YEAH, I'LL USE IT. 313 00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,529 WAIT'LL THEY GET A LOAD OF ME. 314 00:15:31,701 --> 00:15:33,703 YEAH. YEAH, THAT'S GONNA KILL. 315 00:15:35,505 --> 00:15:37,506 YOUR FEELINGS GET HURT, 316 00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:39,538 SO YOU MAKE SOMETHING UP TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD? 317 00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,640 I WASN'T TRYING TO MAKE YOU FEEL BAD, CHERYL. 318 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:44,243 I WAS TRYING TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER. 319 00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:47,516 WELL, NOW WE BOTH FEEL BAD. ARE WE EVEN? 320 00:15:47,517 --> 00:15:49,518 WELL, TECHNICALLY... 321 00:15:49,519 --> 00:15:53,422 YOU LIED ABOUT THE TAPE, AND THEN YOU WERE GONNA DUMP ME. 322 00:15:53,423 --> 00:15:55,424 SO YOU'RE AHEAD, TWO TO ONE. 323 00:15:55,425 --> 00:15:59,688 YOU DIDN'T STOP DOIN' THAT BATMAN THING FOR FIVE YEARS. 324 00:15:59,689 --> 00:16:02,032 TRUST ME. WE'RE EVEN. 325 00:16:05,535 --> 00:16:10,039 WAIT'LL THEY GET A LOAD OF ME. 326 00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:12,672 YOU'RE NUTS. THAT'S FUNNY. 327 00:16:19,009 --> 00:16:20,109 HEY. 328 00:16:20,110 --> 00:16:21,751 HEY. 329 00:16:25,115 --> 00:16:26,555 WHATCHA READIN'? 330 00:16:26,556 --> 00:16:29,388 "THE SECRET LIFE OF BEES." 331 00:16:29,389 --> 00:16:31,060 OH, GOOD. 332 00:16:31,061 --> 00:16:35,394 SOMEBODY'S GOTTA KEEP AN EYE ON THOSE BEES. 333 00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:37,626 THEM AND THE DOLPHINS. 334 00:16:37,627 --> 00:16:41,670 THEY'RE ALWAYS SMILIN' LIKE THEY KNOW SOMETHIN'. 335 00:16:41,671 --> 00:16:45,034 MAYBE THEY'RE COMMUNIST SPIES, JIM. 336 00:16:45,035 --> 00:16:48,307 OH, CHERYL. 337 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:50,439 CHERYL... 338 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,682 UH, LOOK... 339 00:16:53,683 --> 00:16:57,015 MAKING UP THAT STORY ABOUT DUMPING YOU 340 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:59,548 WAS A ROTTEN THING TO DO. 341 00:16:59,549 --> 00:17:01,550 BUT I NEED SOME HELP HERE, CHERYL. 342 00:17:01,551 --> 00:17:05,224 I'M STUCK. I CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS. 343 00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:07,226 THIS THING ABOUT CHAD AND THIS TAPE AND... 344 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:10,499 JIM, THAT TAPE'S NOT IMPORTANT NOW. 345 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:14,103 WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS YOU AND ME AND THE LIFE WE BUILT TOGETHER. 346 00:17:14,104 --> 00:17:17,506 I KNOW, I KNOW, BUT EVER SINCE WE STARTED DATING, 347 00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:19,768 I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU WERE AS HOT FOR ME AS I WAS FOR YOU. 348 00:17:19,769 --> 00:17:24,143 AND I HAD A MIX TAPE OF LOVE SONGS TO PROVE IT. 349 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:30,048 AND NOW, THE PROOF IS JUST A LIE. 350 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:33,822 OH, HONEY, I MEAN, 351 00:17:33,823 --> 00:17:36,155 IS IT REALLY A LIE, OR... 352 00:17:36,156 --> 00:17:40,689 IS IT JUST TWO PEOPLE TRYING TO MAKE A CONNECTION? 353 00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:44,563 SO I TOLD YOU I MADE YOU THAT TAPE. 354 00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:46,696 I ALSO TOLD YOU I LIKE SPORTS. 355 00:17:50,540 --> 00:17:52,571 THAT'S TRUE. 356 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,604 AND I TOLD YOU I LOVE CATS. 357 00:17:57,647 --> 00:17:59,448 AND I ALSO SAID THAT I WANTED 358 00:17:59,449 --> 00:18:01,510 TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER BEFORE WE SLEPT TOGETHER. 359 00:18:01,511 --> 00:18:03,282 (laughs) 360 00:18:03,283 --> 00:18:04,783 OH, HONEY. 361 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:08,817 OH, IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME 362 00:18:08,818 --> 00:18:11,660 AND MAKE THAT TAPE FOR YOU, I WOULD. 363 00:18:11,661 --> 00:18:14,123 WE JUST CAN'T CHANGE THE PAST. 364 00:18:14,124 --> 00:18:18,627 I KNOW. I KNOW I'M BEING RIDICULOUS. 365 00:18:18,628 --> 00:18:21,230 IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME. 366 00:18:21,231 --> 00:18:23,702 WE LOVE EACH OTHER, AND OUR MARRIAGE IS PERFECT. 367 00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,434 IT REALLY IS. 368 00:18:25,435 --> 00:18:28,137 EXCEPT FOR THAT DAMN MIX TAPE WITH CHAD! 369 00:18:28,138 --> 00:18:30,279 YOU ARE NOT GONNA LET THIS GO, ARE YOU? 370 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,281 I WANT TO. IF I COULD, I WOULD, HONEY, 371 00:18:32,282 --> 00:18:34,283 BUT, YOU KNOW, MY MIND WON'T LET ME LET IT GO, 372 00:18:34,284 --> 00:18:36,286 AND MY HANDS ARE TIED. 373 00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:44,553 CAN'T GET IN THERE. 374 00:18:44,554 --> 00:18:48,827 GOD, JIM, IT WAS SO LONG AGO. 375 00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:50,459 I KNOW, I KNOW. 376 00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:53,702 IT WAS A REALLY LONG TIME AGO. 377 00:18:53,703 --> 00:18:57,566 I MEAN, IT WAS SO LONG AGO, 378 00:18:57,567 --> 00:18:59,768 I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF WE'RE REMEMBERING IT RIGHT. 379 00:18:59,769 --> 00:19:02,571 REALLY? 380 00:19:02,572 --> 00:19:06,215 YEAH, I MEAN, NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, 381 00:19:06,216 --> 00:19:08,647 IT REALLY BUGGED ME THAT YOU WENT ON AND ON 382 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:11,180 ABOUT THAT STUPID TAPE, AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE 383 00:19:11,181 --> 00:19:14,483 THE PURPLE SWEATER I WORE JUST FOR YOU. 384 00:19:14,484 --> 00:19:16,456 WHAT PURPLE SWEATER? 385 00:19:18,328 --> 00:19:20,689 THE ONE I WORE ON OUR FIRST DATE. 386 00:19:20,690 --> 00:19:22,331 AND YOU REALLY, REALLY LIKED IT, 387 00:19:22,332 --> 00:19:25,364 SO I WORE IT THAT NIGHT ESPECIALLY FOR YOU. 388 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:28,637 I DON'T REMEMBER ANY PURPLE SWEATER. 389 00:19:28,638 --> 00:19:31,440 OKAY. OKAY. 390 00:19:31,441 --> 00:19:33,803 DO YOU REMEMBER STARING AT MY BOOBS? 391 00:19:37,807 --> 00:19:39,808 I DIDN'T THINK YOU NOTICED. 392 00:19:39,809 --> 00:19:43,613 YEAH. CAN YOU GO BACK AND PICTURE THEM? 393 00:19:44,954 --> 00:19:46,955 OH, PURPLE SWEATER! 394 00:19:46,956 --> 00:19:48,857 RIGHT! 395 00:19:48,858 --> 00:19:52,361 RIGHT, AND I WORE IT THAT NIGHT BECAUSE... 396 00:19:52,362 --> 00:19:54,793 BECAUSE YOU WERE AS HOT FOR ME AS I WAS FOR YOU. 397 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,825 YES. 398 00:19:56,826 --> 00:19:58,827 SO IT WASN'T ABOUT THE TAPE AT ALL. 399 00:19:58,828 --> 00:20:01,830 HONEY, THE TAPE WAS JUST BACKGROUND MUSIC 400 00:20:01,831 --> 00:20:03,372 FOR THE SWEATER. 401 00:20:03,373 --> 00:20:06,935 RIGHT. THE PURPLE SWEATER. 402 00:20:06,936 --> 00:20:10,479 I'M BLOWN AWAY. 403 00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:12,682 NO ONE'S EVER GOTTEN ME BEFORE. 404 00:20:16,686 --> 00:20:18,217 THANK YOU. 405 00:20:19,789 --> 00:20:21,790 YOU WANNA DANCE? 406 00:20:21,791 --> 00:20:24,594 WELL, AREN'T WE GOIN' OUT? 407 00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,998 IT CAN WAIT. 408 00:20:45,775 --> 00:20:47,446 I LIKE THE SWEATER STORY. 409 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:50,319 WELL, IT IS THE BEGINNING 410 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:52,321 OF OUR FAIRY-TALE LIFE TOGETHER. 411 00:20:52,322 --> 00:20:53,722 THAT'S A GOOD SWEATER. 412 00:20:53,723 --> 00:20:55,724 YEAH. 413 00:20:55,725 --> 00:20:58,557 IT GOT ME A HUSBAND, AND IT WAS INCREDIBLY WARM. 414 00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,729 WE GOTTA GET ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE. 415 00:21:00,730 --> 00:21:02,331 WHERE DID YOU GET IT? 416 00:21:02,332 --> 00:21:05,534 UM... OH. 417 00:21:05,535 --> 00:21:10,370 OH, MY GOD, CHAD, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 418 00:21:13,473 --> 00:21:16,445 I LOVE YOU, CHERYL. 419 00:21:16,446 --> 00:21:17,576 YOU KNOW, 420 00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:20,709 I'LL NEVER GET TIRED OF HEARING THAT. 421 00:21:20,710 --> 00:21:23,452 MY MOM GAVE IT TO ME. OH. 422 00:21:23,453 --> 00:21:25,884 REMIND ME TO THANK HER. 423 00:21:25,885 --> 00:21:27,456 YEAH, DON'T BOTHER. 424 00:21:27,457 --> 00:21:29,459 NO? NO.` 27796

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