Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,473 --> 00:00:05,476
OH-HO-HO.
2
00:00:41,072 --> 00:00:42,443
(snores)
3
00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,207
♪♪♪
4
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:26,416
ALL RIGHT, COME ON.
CLOSE FOR MAMA.
5
00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:29,189
YOU ARE NEVER GONNA
GET THAT ZIPPED UP.
6
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:32,292
DANA, I'VE GOTTEN JIM
INTO HIS CHURCH PANTS
7
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,424
FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS.
8
00:01:34,425 --> 00:01:36,566
AAH! HA!
9
00:01:36,567 --> 00:01:39,169
ALL RIGHT, BABY,
GO PUT THAT BY THE DOOR
10
00:01:39,170 --> 00:01:41,572
SO IT'S READY FOR YOUR
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL TOMORROW.
11
00:01:45,736 --> 00:01:47,537
IT'S TOO HEAVY.
12
00:01:47,538 --> 00:01:49,439
ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO.
READY?
13
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,511
AND... GO!
14
00:02:00,451 --> 00:02:01,851
OKAY, GIRLS, COME ON.
15
00:02:01,852 --> 00:02:03,323
I'LL HELP YOU PICK OUT
CUTE OUTFITS
16
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:05,325
FOR THE BOYS TOMORROW.
17
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:06,826
I HATE BOYS.
18
00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:09,299
YEAH, I KNOW, BUT ONE DAY
YOU'RE GONNA FALL IN LOVE,
19
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:11,301
GET MARRIED AND LIVE
HAPPILY EVER AFTER JUST LIKE ME.
20
00:02:11,302 --> 00:02:13,833
WILL I BE JUST LIKE YOU,
BUT NEVER SHUT UP ABOUT IT?
21
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:16,306
SORRY, GRACIE,
I CAN'T HEAR YOU
22
00:02:16,307 --> 00:02:19,310
OVER THE SOUNDTRACK
TO MY PERFECT LIFE.
23
00:02:21,612 --> 00:02:23,443
CHERYL, CHERYL,
CHERYL, CHERYL! WHAT?
24
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:24,714
GREAT NEWS!
25
00:02:24,715 --> 00:02:27,917
ONE OF MY CLIENTS GOT CAUGHT
CHEATING ON HIS WIFE.
26
00:02:27,918 --> 00:02:29,449
LONG STORY SHORT,
27
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:32,182
HE'S MEETIN' WITH
HIS DIVORCE LAWYER TOMORROW,
28
00:02:32,183 --> 00:02:35,585
AND I GET HIS TICKETS
TO THE CUBS GAME!
29
00:02:35,586 --> 00:02:36,826
OH, NO!
30
00:02:36,827 --> 00:02:37,827
YEAH!
31
00:02:37,828 --> 00:02:39,859
GOD, DO THEY HAVE ANY KIDS?
32
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:43,293
THIS IS THE BEST PART.
THEY DO!
33
00:02:43,294 --> 00:02:45,695
A SON,
SO THERE'S THREE TICKETS.
34
00:02:45,696 --> 00:02:47,697
SO ANDY AND I
ARE GONNA TAKE KYLE
35
00:02:47,698 --> 00:02:49,199
TO HIS
FIRST BASEBALL GAME,
36
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,541
HIS FIRST CUBS GAME EVER,
TOMORROW!
37
00:02:51,542 --> 00:02:53,573
WELL, TOMORROW, NO, NO, JIM.
38
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:55,745
TOMORROW'S KYLE'S FIRST DAY
OF KINDERGARTEN.
39
00:02:55,746 --> 00:02:57,907
WHAT'S HE GONNA LEARN,
HOW TO TAKE A NAP?
40
00:02:57,908 --> 00:03:01,281
I'VE BEEN HOMESCHOOLING HIM
IN THAT SINCE BIRTH.
41
00:03:01,282 --> 00:03:03,313
NO, NO,
THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
42
00:03:03,314 --> 00:03:05,315
IS WHEN THEY LEARN
WHAT'S EXPECTED OF THEM
43
00:03:05,316 --> 00:03:07,457
AND EVERYBODY PAIRS OFF
WITH THEIR NEW LITTLE FRIENDS.
44
00:03:07,458 --> 00:03:09,759
IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
THAT HE BE THERE.
45
00:03:09,760 --> 00:03:10,920
COME ON!
46
00:03:10,921 --> 00:03:12,692
IT'S NOT MORE IMPORTANT
THAN A FATHER AND SON
47
00:03:12,693 --> 00:03:14,294
GOING TO THEIR
FIRST BALL GAME TOGETHER,
48
00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:15,695
THEIR FIRST CUBS GAME.
49
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,967
WELL, LUCKILY,
THIS IS AN EDUCATION ISSUE,
50
00:03:17,968 --> 00:03:19,569
WHICH MAKES IT MY TERRITORY.
51
00:03:19,570 --> 00:03:21,831
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
THIS IS A CUBS ISSUE,
52
00:03:21,832 --> 00:03:22,972
A SPORTS ISSUE.
53
00:03:22,973 --> 00:03:25,305
AND ACCORDING TO
OUR WEDDING VOWS
54
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,837
AND THE GENEVA CONVENTION,
55
00:03:27,838 --> 00:03:30,440
THAT IS MY TERRITORY,
YOUNG LADY.
56
00:03:30,441 --> 00:03:32,442
OH, HONEY, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST TAKE HIM ON SATURDAY
57
00:03:32,443 --> 00:03:34,314
WHEN HE DOESN'T EVEN
HAVE SCHOOL?
58
00:03:34,315 --> 00:03:36,316
CHERYL, THESE ARE
FREE TICKETS.
59
00:03:36,317 --> 00:03:39,719
THEY ARE FRONT ROW TICKETS,
RIGHT THERE BY THE DUGOUT.
60
00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,721
20 YEARS FROM NOW,
KYLE'S GONNA BE ABLE
61
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,723
TO TELL HIS FRIENDS
HE WAS SO CLOSE TO THE DUGOUT,
62
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,755
HE COULD TAKE
DUSTY BAKER'S TOOTHPICK
63
00:03:45,756 --> 00:03:47,457
RIGHT OUT OF HIS MOUTH!
64
00:03:47,458 --> 00:03:48,998
YEAH, AND I'M SURE
ALL THE OTHER
65
00:03:48,999 --> 00:03:52,332
SCHOOL-SKIPPIN' FRY COOKS
WILL BE DULY IMPRESSED.
66
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:58,308
CHERYL, I BELIEVE FRY COOKS
ARE A VERY IMPORTANT PART
67
00:03:58,309 --> 00:04:02,443
OF THE SHINING CITY ON THE HILL
THAT I LIKE TO CALL AMERICA.
68
00:04:04,475 --> 00:04:07,717
NOW KYLE IS GOING
TO THAT GAME TOMORROW,
69
00:04:07,718 --> 00:04:10,751
AND THAT IS FINAL.
70
00:04:16,557 --> 00:04:18,759
(stomps foot)
71
00:04:21,732 --> 00:04:23,594
VETO.
72
00:04:27,498 --> 00:04:29,969
I SEE.
73
00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,601
THE VETO?
74
00:04:31,602 --> 00:04:33,603
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
VETO.
75
00:04:33,604 --> 00:04:35,905
KYLE'S GOING
TO SCHOOL TOMORROW.
76
00:04:35,906 --> 00:04:36,977
CHALLENGE!
77
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:41,511
GROUNDS?
78
00:04:41,512 --> 00:04:44,013
YOU DON'T HAVE THE VETO.
IT'S MY TURN.
79
00:04:44,014 --> 00:04:45,785
NO, NO, JIM.
80
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,618
LAST THURSDAY,
I SAID KYLE COULD NOT PEE
81
00:04:48,619 --> 00:04:51,721
IN THE CHUCK E. CHEESE
PARKING LOT.
82
00:04:51,722 --> 00:04:53,663
YOU SAID "VETO."
83
00:04:53,664 --> 00:04:56,796
NOW WE CAN'T
GO THERE ANYMORE,
84
00:04:56,797 --> 00:05:00,029
AND THE VETO REVERTS TO ME.
CHALLENGE DENIED.
85
00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:01,871
CURSES!
86
00:05:01,872 --> 00:05:03,673
MM-HMM. YEAH.
87
00:05:03,674 --> 00:05:06,436
I'LL DROP HIM OFF AT 8.
YOU PICK HIM UP.
88
00:05:06,437 --> 00:05:07,937
APPEAL!
DENIED.
89
00:05:07,938 --> 00:05:09,809
UH, FILIBUSTER!
90
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:13,543
NOW YOU'RE JUST SAYING WORDS
YOU HEARD ON THE NEWS.
91
00:05:13,544 --> 00:05:15,716
INSURGENT!
92
00:05:20,691 --> 00:05:23,322
OH, LOOK AT YOU.
93
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:27,457
YOUR FIRST DAY
OF KINDERGARTEN.
94
00:05:27,458 --> 00:05:29,459
ARE YOU SURE YOU DON'T
WANT ME TO WALK YOU IN?
95
00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:31,601
NOPE, I'M A BIG BOY NOW.
96
00:05:31,602 --> 00:05:33,733
YES, YOU ARE.
97
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:35,005
AWW...
98
00:05:36,807 --> 00:05:38,908
THAT'S IT.
99
00:05:38,909 --> 00:05:41,471
GIVE HER A HUG.
100
00:05:41,472 --> 00:05:43,813
NO TEARS,
OTHERWISE SHE'LL WALK YOU IN
101
00:05:43,814 --> 00:05:46,377
AND WE'LL MISS
THE FIRST INNING!
102
00:05:48,719 --> 00:05:51,451
PUDDING?
103
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:53,553
NO.
104
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:56,887
THEN WE'D BE TWO GUYS
IN THE BUSHES EATING PUDDING.
105
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:00,590
OKAY.
106
00:06:00,591 --> 00:06:02,392
HAVE A GOOD DAY.
107
00:06:02,393 --> 00:06:03,763
I LOVE YOU.
108
00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:05,935
WAVE GOOD-BYE.
109
00:06:05,936 --> 00:06:06,936
THAT'S IT.
110
00:06:06,937 --> 00:06:09,739
LET HER KNOW
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
111
00:06:09,740 --> 00:06:11,972
NO, NO, NO! MOMMY! NOT
ME! WHOA! WE'RE DEAD!
112
00:06:18,809 --> 00:06:21,751
OKAY.
OKAY, WE'RE SAFE.
113
00:06:21,752 --> 00:06:23,753
CHERYL DIDN'T SEE US.
114
00:06:23,754 --> 00:06:27,417
WHEW.
WE ALMOST HAD A DISASTER.
115
00:06:27,418 --> 00:06:32,692
ALMOST? ANTS ARE CRAWLING
ALL THROUGH MY PUDDING.
116
00:06:32,693 --> 00:06:34,625
STILL PUDDING.
117
00:06:39,470 --> 00:06:41,031
HATS!
118
00:06:42,132 --> 00:06:45,174
OH, GOOD MORNING, JIM.
HOW ARE YOU?
119
00:06:45,175 --> 00:06:46,776
I'M OKAY, MS. CRAWFORD.
120
00:06:46,777 --> 00:06:50,480
I'M SORRY, WAS THAT
MS. CRAWFORD OR MRS. CRAWFORD?
121
00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:52,411
IT'S MS.
I'M NOT MARRIED.
122
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,614
OH.
123
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:57,617
WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU COULD
TEACH ME THE THREE R's...
124
00:06:57,618 --> 00:07:00,921
READING, WRITING
AND RRRRR.
125
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,126
UH, MS. CRAWFORD,
126
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:08,698
THERE'S BEEN A FAMILY EMERGENCY,
127
00:07:08,699 --> 00:07:11,701
AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO
TAKE KYLE OUT OF SCHOOL.
128
00:07:11,702 --> 00:07:13,533
HIS AUNT IS VERY SICK.
129
00:07:13,534 --> 00:07:14,964
OH, I'M SO SORRY.
130
00:07:14,965 --> 00:07:16,936
SHOULD I HAVE SOMEONE
PULL RUBY AND GRACIE
131
00:07:16,937 --> 00:07:19,510
OUT OF THEIR CLASSES
AS WELL?
132
00:07:21,872 --> 00:07:24,874
THAT'S RIGHT.
UH, YOU KNOW THEM.
133
00:07:24,875 --> 00:07:26,015
UM...
134
00:07:26,016 --> 00:07:27,917
UM, YOU KNOW,
NOT A GOOD IDEA.
135
00:07:27,918 --> 00:07:28,978
NO.
136
00:07:28,979 --> 00:07:32,522
NO, UM, NO, THEY WERE
THE ONES THAT, UM...
137
00:07:32,523 --> 00:07:36,557
THAT ACCIDENTALLY DROPPED
THE HAIR DRYER IN THE TUB.
138
00:07:38,729 --> 00:07:42,892
YEAH, IT'S A...
VERY DARK DAY IN OUR FAMILY.
139
00:07:42,893 --> 00:07:44,934
OKAY, KYLE, COME ON!
140
00:07:44,935 --> 00:07:46,536
SHAKE A LEG!
141
00:07:46,537 --> 00:07:47,637
COME ON, KYLE.
142
00:07:47,638 --> 00:07:48,868
THANK YOU SO MUCH.
143
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,640
BYE.
144
00:07:50,641 --> 00:07:54,505
OKAY, BUDDY, LET'S GO!
WE'RE GOING TO YOUR FIRST GAME!
145
00:07:56,807 --> 00:08:01,210
THAT'S RIGHT, LOSERS!
FRONT ROW SEATS!
146
00:08:01,211 --> 00:08:04,754
HEY, HEY. SIT DOWN, WATCH THE
GAME. TRYING TO WATCH THE GAME.
147
00:08:04,755 --> 00:08:07,587
MINE NOW.
148
00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:11,120
YEAH, SUNNY SKIES,
CUBS UP BY THREE...
149
00:08:11,121 --> 00:08:14,764
I'M HERE WITH MY SON
AT HIS FIRST CUBS GAME,
150
00:08:14,765 --> 00:08:16,826
FIRST BASEBALL GAME EVER.
151
00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:19,068
WHY, CAN THIS DAY
GET ANY BETTER?
152
00:08:19,069 --> 00:08:22,732
I'M GONNA BE A BASEBALL PLAYER
WHEN I GROW UP.
153
00:08:22,733 --> 00:08:24,875
IT JUST GOT BETTER!
154
00:08:26,777 --> 00:08:28,638
HEADS UP!
I GOT IT!
155
00:08:28,639 --> 00:08:30,279
NO, NO, NO, DON'T DO THAT!
LET HIM CATCH IT!
156
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,982
LET HIM CATCH IT!
OW!
157
00:08:35,686 --> 00:08:37,747
HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
158
00:08:37,748 --> 00:08:40,290
THE BALL HIT MY EYE!
159
00:08:41,552 --> 00:08:43,192
LET ME SEE, HONEY.
160
00:08:43,193 --> 00:08:44,524
OOH.
161
00:08:46,757 --> 00:08:48,958
UH, HERE'S A NICE
ICE COLD BEER.
162
00:08:48,959 --> 00:08:51,561
IT'LL MAKE YOUR EYE
FEEL MUCH BETTER.
163
00:08:51,562 --> 00:08:53,763
NO, DON'T DRINK IT!
164
00:08:53,764 --> 00:08:55,765
PUT IT UP
AGAINST YOUR EYE.
165
00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:58,067
NOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
166
00:08:58,068 --> 00:09:01,210
WE'RE GONNA GET THIS BABY
AUTOGRAPHED. OH, ANDY...
167
00:09:01,211 --> 00:09:03,773
AND YOU SAID THIS DAY
COULDN'T GET ANY BETTER.
168
00:09:03,774 --> 00:09:05,815
LOSERS!
169
00:09:05,816 --> 00:09:07,948
SIT DOWN, MAN!
SIT DOWN.
170
00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,552
ALL RIGHT, COME HERE.
COME HERE, MY BOY.
171
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,954
LET'S SEE
IF THAT ICE HELPED.
172
00:09:14,955 --> 00:09:15,955
OOH!
OOH!
173
00:09:15,956 --> 00:09:17,556
YEAH, GOOD LUCK
WITH THAT, JIM.
174
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,188
HEY, HEY!
STAY RIGHT HERE.
175
00:09:19,189 --> 00:09:21,060
EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE FINE.
176
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,063
LOOK, ALL WE GOTTA DO
IS WALK IN THERE
177
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,035
AND DO EXACTLY WHAT
WE TALKED ABOUT,
178
00:09:26,036 --> 00:09:27,036
ALL RIGHT?
179
00:09:27,037 --> 00:09:28,067
OKAY.
180
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:31,841
LOOK AT THAT...
MY SON'S FIRST CUBS GAME
181
00:09:31,842 --> 00:09:34,674
AND HIS FIRST SCHEME
WITH HIS DAD.
182
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:36,706
OH, BOY,
THEY GET OLD FAST.
183
00:09:36,707 --> 00:09:39,208
BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,
HE'LL BE HITTIN' A PARKED CAR
184
00:09:39,209 --> 00:09:41,652
AND NOT LEAVIN' A NOTE.
185
00:09:43,914 --> 00:09:44,914
HEY!
186
00:09:44,915 --> 00:09:45,915
HI.
187
00:09:45,916 --> 00:09:48,587
HOW WAS YOUR FIRST DAY AT...
(gasps)
188
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:52,021
OH, MY GOD,
WHAT HAPPENED?
189
00:09:52,022 --> 00:09:55,064
I GOT PUNCHED IN THE EYE
BY A BULLY.
190
00:09:55,065 --> 00:09:58,067
AWW, BABY...
191
00:09:58,068 --> 00:10:00,670
AWW, MAMA'S HERE.
192
00:10:00,671 --> 00:10:03,272
OKAY, ANDY, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE
KYLE IN THE KITCHEN
193
00:10:03,273 --> 00:10:05,174
AND GET SOMETHING COLDER
FOR HIS EYE?
194
00:10:05,175 --> 00:10:06,936
LIKE A BEER?
195
00:10:06,937 --> 00:10:09,608
A BEER?
196
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:13,643
CHERYL, WHAT ARE THEY TEACHING
AT THAT SCHOOL, HUH?
197
00:10:13,644 --> 00:10:16,887
DO NOT TAKE ME DOWN WITH YOU,
I SWEAR TO GOD.
198
00:10:18,248 --> 00:10:22,191
MOMMY WILL BE RIGHT IN,
MY BRAVE, SWEET LITTLE MAN.
199
00:10:22,192 --> 00:10:25,354
I WANT BLOOD!
WHO DID THAT?
200
00:10:25,355 --> 00:10:27,056
THE BULLY.
201
00:10:27,057 --> 00:10:29,198
RONNIE HART?
202
00:10:29,199 --> 00:10:30,800
THAT'S THE ONE!
203
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:33,733
I KNEW IT.
I AM CALLING HIS MOTHER.
204
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,365
YOU KNOW, HER HUSBAND
OWNS A CAR DEALERSHIP.
205
00:10:36,366 --> 00:10:38,107
THEY THINK
THEY POOP SUNSHINE.
206
00:10:38,108 --> 00:10:40,109
CH-CH-CHERYL, I ALREADY
TALKED TO THE MOTHER.
207
00:10:40,110 --> 00:10:41,711
AND MAY I REMIND YOU,
208
00:10:41,712 --> 00:10:43,212
PLAYGROUND BATTLES
ARE MY TERRITORY.
209
00:10:43,213 --> 00:10:46,046
I DON'T CARE! I REALLY
FEEL LIKE... VETO!
210
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:51,220
YOU CAN'T VETO ME.
211
00:10:51,221 --> 00:10:52,221
YES, I CAN.
212
00:10:52,222 --> 00:10:53,683
V...
213
00:10:53,684 --> 00:10:56,086
TOE.
214
00:10:58,128 --> 00:11:00,790
CHERYL, IF YOU KEEP
STEPPING IN LIKE THIS,
215
00:11:00,791 --> 00:11:02,792
THE KIDS ARE GONNA
CALL HIM A MAMA'S BOY,
216
00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:05,164
AND IT'S GONNA FOLLOW HIM
THE REST OF HIS LIFE.
217
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,336
ASK ANDY.
218
00:11:07,337 --> 00:11:10,669
BUT...
BUT HIS LITTLE EYE...
219
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,173
MY VETO HAS SPOKEN.
220
00:11:15,345 --> 00:11:16,746
WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
221
00:11:16,747 --> 00:11:18,908
VEGGIE TACOS.
222
00:11:18,909 --> 00:11:21,911
IS THAT THE TRUTH,
OR ARE YOU JUST SAYING THAT
223
00:11:21,912 --> 00:11:23,753
'CAUSE YOU WANT ME
TO SWITCH MY VETO?
224
00:11:23,754 --> 00:11:25,755
CURSES!
225
00:11:25,756 --> 00:11:26,817
MM-HMM.
226
00:11:29,159 --> 00:11:31,120
OKAY, BUDDY,
YOU KNOW WHAT TO SAY
227
00:11:31,121 --> 00:11:33,262
IF ANYBODY ASKS YOU
ABOUT YOUR BLACK EYE?
228
00:11:33,263 --> 00:11:35,464
"YOU SHOULD SEE
THE OTHER GUY."
229
00:11:35,465 --> 00:11:37,927
THAT'S MY BOY.
230
00:11:37,928 --> 00:11:39,198
HI.
GOOD MORNING.
231
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,732
MMM, DURN, GIRL,
IT IS NOW.
232
00:11:45,335 --> 00:11:49,338
EW, THERE ARE ANTS
ALL OVER THE PLACE.
233
00:11:49,339 --> 00:11:53,482
WHAT KIND OF WEIRD KID
EATS HIS PUDDING IN THE BUSHES?
234
00:11:53,483 --> 00:11:55,014
SHH!
235
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:58,017
THAT RONNIE HART BETTER
STAY AWAY FROM MY KYLE.
236
00:11:58,018 --> 00:11:59,488
WHAT HAPPENED TO
KYLE'S EYE?
237
00:11:59,489 --> 00:12:01,090
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
238
00:12:01,091 --> 00:12:03,492
WHEN HE GOT THE NEWS THAT
HIS AUNT WAS GONNA PULL THROUGH,
239
00:12:03,493 --> 00:12:06,155
HE GOT ALL WORKED UP
AND JUST RAN INTO A WALL.
240
00:12:06,156 --> 00:12:08,998
YEAH, WE GOT A COUPLE OF THOSE.
241
00:12:08,999 --> 00:12:09,999
OH.
242
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,131
HEY, UH, TEACH, UM...
243
00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:15,104
I'M HAVIN' TROUBLE
WITH THE ALPHABET.
244
00:12:15,105 --> 00:12:17,167
I KEEP TRYING TO PUT
"U" AND "I" TOGETHER.
245
00:12:22,112 --> 00:12:24,213
(Cheryl)
HEY, HEY, JIM'S LEAVING.
246
00:12:24,214 --> 00:12:28,277
AHH! KYLE'S TALKING TO
THAT DEMON SPAWN RONNIE!
247
00:12:28,278 --> 00:12:29,979
IS THAT A BLACK EYE?
248
00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:32,952
YOU SHOULD SEE
THE OTHER GUY.
249
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:34,824
CAN I LOOK?
250
00:12:34,825 --> 00:12:36,485
HEY, HEY!
251
00:12:36,486 --> 00:12:39,228
HEY, GET YOUR HANDS
OFF MY KID, BUSTER!
252
00:12:39,229 --> 00:12:40,289
GO!
253
00:12:40,290 --> 00:12:42,161
COOL.
WANNA BE BEST FRIENDS?
254
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:43,232
(Cheryl)
HEY, HEY, HEY!
255
00:12:43,233 --> 00:12:45,965
GET AWAY FROM MY SON,
YOU LITTLE MONSTER!
256
00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:48,167
MOMMY!
257
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,238
LISTEN UP.
258
00:12:49,239 --> 00:12:52,271
ANY ONE OF YOU
TOUCHES MY LITTLE ANGEL,
259
00:12:52,272 --> 00:12:54,904
I'M GONNA GO BOOK OF REVELATIONS
ON ALL OF YA!
260
00:12:54,905 --> 00:12:56,475
EVERYBODY GOT THAT?
261
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:59,348
CHERYL, WHAT ARE
YOU DOING TO MY SON?
262
00:12:59,349 --> 00:13:01,811
ENDING HIS
REIGN OF TERROR, MARGE.
263
00:13:01,812 --> 00:13:03,913
WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?
264
00:13:03,914 --> 00:13:05,915
OH, SHE'S STONEWALLING YOU,
CHERYL.
265
00:13:05,916 --> 00:13:07,857
OH, OH, IS THAT IT?
YOU STONEWALLING ME, LADY?
266
00:13:07,858 --> 00:13:09,258
YOU STONEWALLING ME?
267
00:13:09,259 --> 00:13:13,122
WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
AND WHO IS THIS?
268
00:13:13,123 --> 00:13:14,323
I'M KYLE'S AUNT.
269
00:13:14,324 --> 00:13:15,995
OH, HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
270
00:13:15,996 --> 00:13:18,127
I'M FINE, THANKS.
HOW ARE YOU?
271
00:13:18,128 --> 00:13:19,929
EXCUSE ME!
272
00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:23,802
WHY ARE WE NOT TALKING ABOUT
HOW YOUR SON ATTACKED KYLE?
273
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,074
WHAT?
WHAT?
274
00:13:25,075 --> 00:13:27,076
YOUR HUSBAND PICKED KYLE UP
RIGHT AFTER DROP OFF
275
00:13:27,077 --> 00:13:29,008
TO VISIT YOU
IN THE HOSPITAL.
276
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,240
WHAT...
277
00:13:35,185 --> 00:13:37,386
EXCUSE ME.
278
00:13:37,387 --> 00:13:39,989
KYLE, HONEY...
279
00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:43,192
DID DADDY TAKE YOU TO
A BASEBALL GAME YESTERDAY?
280
00:13:43,193 --> 00:13:45,294
IS THAT WHY
YOU GOT THE BLACK EYE?
281
00:13:45,295 --> 00:13:47,497
YOU SHOULD SEE
THE OTHER GUY.
282
00:13:56,006 --> 00:13:58,367
HELLO, MY YOUNG BRIDE.
283
00:13:58,368 --> 00:14:00,509
YOU KNOW WHAT, HONEY?
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
284
00:14:00,510 --> 00:14:02,972
YOU ARE RIGHT.
285
00:14:02,973 --> 00:14:06,315
I THINK I'LL TAKE KYLE
TO THE CUBS GAME SATURDAY...
286
00:14:06,316 --> 00:14:08,847
WHEN IT'S APPROPRIATE.
287
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,120
OH, THAT'S GOOD, HONEY.
288
00:14:11,121 --> 00:14:14,284
THEN MAYBE ANOTHER FOUL BALL
CAN HIT HIS OTHER EYE.
289
00:14:42,652 --> 00:14:45,185
CURSES!
290
00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,288
ANDY?
291
00:14:49,289 --> 00:14:50,920
NO.
292
00:14:50,921 --> 00:14:53,192
KYLE!
293
00:14:53,193 --> 00:14:54,223
NO.
294
00:14:54,224 --> 00:14:56,225
GRACIE? RUBY?
295
00:14:56,226 --> 00:14:58,267
HOW WOULD THEY
EVEN KNOW?
296
00:14:58,268 --> 00:15:00,499
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU KNOW!
297
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,502
I TOLD YOU NOT TO TAKE KYLE
TO THAT GAME.
298
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,234
AND YOU DID IT ANYWAY!
299
00:15:05,235 --> 00:15:08,377
I MADE A COMPLETE FOOL
OUT OF MYSELF
300
00:15:08,378 --> 00:15:11,040
IN FRONT OF RONNIE'S MOTHER
AND KYLE'S TEACHER.
301
00:15:11,041 --> 00:15:13,282
I JUST...
I AM BESIDE MYSELF!
302
00:15:13,283 --> 00:15:14,443
ALL RIGHT, CHERYL, LOOK.
303
00:15:14,444 --> 00:15:16,315
I KNOW I DON'T HAVE
A DEFENSE HERE...
304
00:15:16,316 --> 00:15:17,916
WAIT A MINUTE.
305
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:20,649
WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT
THE SCHOOL THIS MORNING?
306
00:15:20,650 --> 00:15:23,993
BEING A RESPONSIBLE PARENT.
307
00:15:23,994 --> 00:15:26,395
SOMEBODY TOLD ME
KYLE HAD A BULLY PROBLEM.
308
00:15:26,396 --> 00:15:28,397
YEAH, BUT THAT SOMEBODY
ALSO TOLD YOU
309
00:15:28,398 --> 00:15:30,129
THAT THE BULLY PROBLEM
WAS HANDLED.
310
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,231
THERE WAS NO BULLY PROBLEM!
311
00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,532
DOESN'T MATTER.
312
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:37,706
I GAVE YOU A VETO,
AND YOU COMPLETELY IGNORED IT!
313
00:15:37,707 --> 00:15:40,309
I AM BESIDE MYSELF.
314
00:15:40,310 --> 00:15:41,510
OH...
315
00:15:41,511 --> 00:15:43,372
I SPECIFICALLY TOLD YOU
NOT TO TALK TO
316
00:15:43,373 --> 00:15:45,975
THE BULLY'S MOM
OR THE TEACHER.
317
00:15:45,976 --> 00:15:48,517
YOU SPECIFICALLY
MADE THE WHOLE THING UP!
318
00:15:48,518 --> 00:15:51,020
DOESN'T MATTER!
319
00:15:51,021 --> 00:15:53,382
IF I MADE UP SOMEBODY
AND YOU KILLED HIM,
320
00:15:53,383 --> 00:15:56,085
IT WOULD STILL BE MURDER!
321
00:15:56,086 --> 00:15:59,488
AND THAT'S NOT ME, CHERYL.
THAT'S THE LAW TALKING.
322
00:15:59,489 --> 00:16:02,491
YEAH, WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE
THE BEER TALKING.
323
00:16:02,492 --> 00:16:05,264
OH, WHAT,
I CAN'T UNWIND
324
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,536
WITH A QUICK ONE
AFTER WORK ANYMORE?
325
00:16:07,537 --> 00:16:11,000
YOU LET OUR SON
SKIP HIS FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.
326
00:16:11,001 --> 00:16:13,472
YOU ARE GONNA MAKE OUR SON
INTO A MAMA'S BOY.
327
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,074
NO, I AM NOT.
328
00:16:15,075 --> 00:16:16,605
IF ANYTHING, YOU'RE TEACHING
HIM TO BE IRRESPONSIBLE.
329
00:16:16,606 --> 00:16:18,977
COME ON,
HE WENT TO ONE GAME.
330
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:21,680
OH, I JUST... I CAN'T EVEN
TALK TO YOU ANYMORE.
331
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:22,711
I'M LEAVING.
332
00:16:22,712 --> 00:16:25,084
CHALLENGE!
333
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:27,516
GROUNDS?
334
00:16:27,517 --> 00:16:30,459
YOU STORMED OUT OF THE ROOM
LAST TIME.
335
00:16:30,460 --> 00:16:32,061
IT'S MY TURN.
336
00:16:32,062 --> 00:16:33,663
CHALLENGE UPHELD.
337
00:16:39,069 --> 00:16:41,071
(groans)
338
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,179
COULDN'T SLEEP, HUH?
339
00:16:50,180 --> 00:16:52,441
NO.
340
00:16:52,442 --> 00:16:54,012
YOU WANT A SNACK?
341
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,013
NO.
342
00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,247
YOU WANT TO
MAKE ME A SNACK?
343
00:17:14,804 --> 00:17:16,136
(gasps)
344
00:17:17,267 --> 00:17:18,267
KYLE?
345
00:17:18,268 --> 00:17:20,239
HEY, DAD.
346
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,810
WANT SOME EGGS?
347
00:17:21,811 --> 00:17:24,813
BUT YOU'RE A FIGMENT
OF MY IMAGINATION.
348
00:17:24,814 --> 00:17:26,545
ARE THOSE EGGS REAL?
349
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:29,079
10 BUCKS SAYS
YOU'LL EAT 'EM EITHER WAY.
350
00:17:31,321 --> 00:17:33,282
YOU WIN AGAIN, IMAGINATION.
351
00:17:33,283 --> 00:17:37,126
WOW, THESE REALLY LOOK GOOD.
352
00:17:37,127 --> 00:17:39,428
OH, MY GOD.
YOUR MOM WAS RIGHT.
353
00:17:39,429 --> 00:17:41,360
YOU ARE A FRY COOK.
354
00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,693
NO, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE
MY DEAR OLD DAD SOME EGGS
355
00:17:44,694 --> 00:17:47,266
FOR GETTING ME FRONT ROW SEATS
TO MY FIRST CUBS GAME.
356
00:17:47,267 --> 00:17:48,737
I KNEW IT!
357
00:17:48,738 --> 00:17:51,400
BASEBALL'S THE GREATEST.
I'M PRETTY GOOD AT IT, TOO.
358
00:17:51,401 --> 00:17:54,072
REALLY?
ARE YOU IN THE BIGS?
359
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,805
HEY, ARE YOU GONNA BUY ME
A NEW HOUSE?
360
00:17:56,806 --> 00:17:58,477
DO I HAVE A BOAT?
361
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,479
NAH, I GOT CUT FROM
MY HIGH SCHOOL TEAM
362
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,151
FOR SKIPPING PRACTICE.
363
00:18:02,152 --> 00:18:04,513
WELL, KYLE, WHAT DID YOU
SKIP PRACTICE FOR?
364
00:18:04,514 --> 00:18:06,515
'CAUSE I THOUGHT I COULD
GET AWAY WITH IT.
365
00:18:06,516 --> 00:18:08,417
YOU KNOW,
I'M GOOD AT BASEBALL,
366
00:18:08,418 --> 00:18:10,420
BUT I'M EVEN BETTER AT SCHEMES.
367
00:18:13,363 --> 00:18:15,764
PROBABLY GET THAT
FROM ME, HUH?
368
00:18:15,765 --> 00:18:17,796
MMM...
369
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:22,100
(Woman) BUT THE ONLY HOPE
FOR OUR LOVE NOW IS...
370
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,232
PORTUGAL.
371
00:18:23,233 --> 00:18:26,235
(sobs)
372
00:18:26,236 --> 00:18:28,438
I LOVE THIS MOVIE.
373
00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:31,740
KYLE?
374
00:18:31,741 --> 00:18:33,412
YEAH, IT'S ME.
375
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,184
YOU KNOW,
I DID A TERM IN PORTUGAL
376
00:18:35,185 --> 00:18:36,585
STUDYING FOR MY PhD.
377
00:18:36,586 --> 00:18:39,688
(gasps)
378
00:18:39,689 --> 00:18:43,423
THAT'S 'CAUSE EDUCATION
WAS MY TERRITORY.
379
00:18:45,455 --> 00:18:48,327
AND NOW YOU HAVE A PhD.
380
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,728
OH, NO, I DON'T.
381
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,330
I WROTE MY THESIS,
382
00:18:51,331 --> 00:18:53,833
BUT YOU WEREN'T THERE
TO DEFEND IT FOR ME.
383
00:18:55,835 --> 00:18:58,407
THAT SHOULDN'T HAVE
STOPPED YOU.
384
00:18:58,408 --> 00:19:00,409
THAT'S WHAT
MY ADVISOR SAID.
385
00:19:00,410 --> 00:19:01,670
(explosion)
386
00:19:01,671 --> 00:19:02,911
WHOA!
OH!
387
00:19:02,912 --> 00:19:05,474
SCARY PART!
SCARY PART!
388
00:19:05,475 --> 00:19:07,446
WOW.
389
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,147
IS IT OVER?
390
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:11,780
I REALLY SCREWED YOU UP,
DIDN'T I?
391
00:19:11,781 --> 00:19:14,183
I REALLY SCREWED YOU UP,
DIDN'T I?
392
00:19:14,184 --> 00:19:15,254
NO.
393
00:19:15,255 --> 00:19:16,825
YOU'RE REALLY FUN.
394
00:19:16,826 --> 00:19:18,927
AND YOU TAUGHT ME
ABOUT BEING A GUY.
395
00:19:18,928 --> 00:19:20,759
WELL, THANK YOU.
396
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,262
BUT, YOU KNOW,
LET'S FACE IT.
397
00:19:23,263 --> 00:19:25,835
IF ALL I HAD WAS YOU,
I'D BE A COMPLETE DISASTER.
398
00:19:29,239 --> 00:19:32,170
FAIR ENOUGH.
399
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,903
WELL, SEE, MOST OF THE TIME YOU
TEACH ME ABOUT RESPONSIBILITY.
400
00:19:34,904 --> 00:19:37,846
AND YOU GIVE ME COMFORT
AND SECURITY TO TRY NEW THINGS.
401
00:19:37,847 --> 00:19:39,948
THANK YOU.
402
00:19:39,949 --> 00:19:43,483
BUT YOU GOTTA LEARN
HOW TO LET GO SOMETIMES.
403
00:19:45,615 --> 00:19:48,657
YOU KNOW, I REALLY THINK YOU
AND DAD SHOULD WORK TOGETHER.
404
00:19:48,658 --> 00:19:50,188
YOU BALANCE EACH OTHER,
405
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,691
LIKE THE CHINESE PRINCIPLE
OF YIN AND YANG.
406
00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,563
RIGHT.
YEAH.
407
00:19:54,564 --> 00:19:57,726
YOU'RE LIKE
PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY.
408
00:19:57,727 --> 00:20:00,469
WAIT A MINUTE.
ONE MORE TIME?
409
00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:03,532
WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO IN
THE LIVING ROOM AND TALK TO MOM?
410
00:20:03,533 --> 00:20:05,834
I'M NOT GONNA
DO THAT, KYLE.
411
00:20:05,835 --> 00:20:08,577
OH, COME ON, DAD.
412
00:20:08,578 --> 00:20:10,810
FOR ME.
413
00:20:16,446 --> 00:20:18,216
YOU GONNA GET THESE?
414
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:21,950
OH, SOMEONE WILL.
415
00:20:21,951 --> 00:20:24,754
THAT'S MY BOY.
416
00:20:26,656 --> 00:20:27,996
OH.
417
00:20:27,997 --> 00:20:29,728
HEY.
418
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:30,729
HEY.
419
00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:32,431
UH, CHERYL,
WE NEED TO TALK.
420
00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:35,665
I KNOW. WE DO.
I WAS WRONG.
421
00:20:36,966 --> 00:20:39,668
OH.
422
00:20:39,669 --> 00:20:42,311
WELL...
423
00:20:42,312 --> 00:20:44,473
APOLOGY ACCEPTED.
424
00:20:44,474 --> 00:20:46,415
PLEASE, COME ON.
425
00:20:46,416 --> 00:20:48,818
LET'S JUST GO TO BED.
426
00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:54,753
WAIT, WAIT,
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
427
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:59,688
UH, MAYBE I MIGHT'VE...
428
00:20:59,689 --> 00:21:04,334
BEEN A LITTLE
LESS THAN RIGHT, TOO.
429
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:07,996
AWW, THANK YOU.
430
00:21:07,997 --> 00:21:09,869
AWW.
431
00:21:11,641 --> 00:21:13,872
YOU KNOW, KYLE TOLD ME
YOU GAVE HIM A BEER.
432
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:16,645
I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE.
UH-HUH.
433
00:21:16,646 --> 00:21:17,706
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
434
00:21:17,707 --> 00:21:19,678
YOU GIVE 'EM A SIP NOW,
THEY HATE IT.
435
00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:21,650
WHEN THEY GROW UP,
THEY DON'T WANT ANY.
436
00:21:21,651 --> 00:21:24,483
THAT'S WHAT MY DAD
DID FOR ME.
437
00:21:24,484 --> 00:21:28,457
ALL RIGHT, WORKING TOGETHER
IS PROBABLY A GOOD IDEA.
438
00:21:28,458 --> 00:21:30,460
YEAH.
27557
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof