All language subtitles for According to Jim - 08x14 - Happy Jim.Unspecified.English.updated.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,968 --> 00:00:03,137 SO, HONEY, WHEN YOU'RE DONE IN THE KITCHEN, 2 00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:05,439 WOULD YOU MIND LIFTING UP THE RUGS IN THE LIVING ROOM 3 00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:07,784 AND BUFFING THE HARDWOOD FLOORS IN THERE? THIS IS A FLOOR WAXER? 4 00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:10,111 YEAH. OH, I THOUGHT IT WAS A MINI ZAMBONI 5 00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,222 AND WE WERE GONNA MAKE AN ICE RINK OUT IN THE BACKYARD. 6 00:00:12,246 --> 00:00:14,448 OH, HEY, GUYS. GREAT. 7 00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,550 OOH, WE WAXING THE FLOOR FOR THE CAKE PARTY? 8 00:00:16,584 --> 00:00:19,153 WHAT? NOTHING, NOTHING. ANDY, GO HOME. 9 00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:21,122 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. 10 00:00:21,155 --> 00:00:23,224 WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT DID HE SAY? NOTHING, NOTHING. 11 00:00:23,257 --> 00:00:26,103 HE'S BEEN DRINKIN'. WHOO. SMELL THAT BOURBON? NO WAY! I BRUSHED MY TEETH. 12 00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:27,528 FREEZE RIGHT THERE, BOTH OF YA! 13 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,797 I THOUGHT I HEARD THE "P" WORD. 14 00:00:29,830 --> 00:00:32,733 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA T-E-L-L SPACE H-I-M. 15 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,336 I DIDN'T HAVE THE C-H-A-N-C-E. 16 00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,305 YOU KNOW, I-I-I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SPELL, 17 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,307 I HEARD THE WORD "PARTY." 18 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:41,409 OKAY, HONEY, HONEY, GIVE ME A CHANCE TO EXPLAIN. 19 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:43,411 YOU SEE WHAT I'M DOING, CHERYL? 20 00:00:43,444 --> 00:00:46,080 DO YOU SEE HOW I'M GAZING OFF INTO SPACE? 21 00:00:46,114 --> 00:00:48,449 WHAT AM I DOIN', CHERYL? CHECKING YOUR FILES. 22 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,751 I'M CHECKING MY FILES, 23 00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:53,187 AND I DON'T SEE A PARTY REQUEST FORM. 24 00:00:53,221 --> 00:00:56,224 I TOLD YA TO FILE THE FORMS. 25 00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,326 I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS PARTY, 26 00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:00,328 AND NOW THIS JERK IS GONNA RUIN IT. 27 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,830 SEE YA, BUDDY. 28 00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:05,466 COME ON. OKAY, JIM, HERE'S THE THING. 29 00:01:05,499 --> 00:01:07,468 I'M HAVING SOME PEOPLE OVER ON SATURDAY, 30 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,803 BUT I WOULDN'T REALLY CALL IT A PARTY. 31 00:01:09,837 --> 00:01:13,307 WELL, WHAT DO YOU CALL IT? A MEETING OF MY CAKE DECORATING SOCIETY... 32 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:16,310 ALL RIGHT. AND OUR HUSBANDS. 33 00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:19,213 OH, COME ON, CHERYL! YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE PARTIES. 34 00:01:19,247 --> 00:01:21,182 YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE, 35 00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:23,217 AND PEOPLE AT PARTIES DON'T LIKE ME. 36 00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:26,154 OH, HONEY, I LIKE HAVING PEOPLE OVER. I THINK IT'S FUN. 37 00:01:26,187 --> 00:01:28,756 FUN? 38 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,459 WAS IT FUN AT YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY, CHERYL? 39 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:35,229 HEY, HEY! YEAH! 40 00:01:35,263 --> 00:01:37,231 OKAY! 41 00:01:37,265 --> 00:01:40,168 WE'RE DONE HERE! EVERYBODY OUT! 42 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:43,237 WAS IT FUN CHRISTENING THE TWINS? 43 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:46,607 (whispers) OKAY, WE'RE DONE HERE. 44 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,677 EVERYBODY OUT. 45 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,212 I KNOW BUT... 46 00:01:51,245 --> 00:01:54,282 (normal voice) WAS IT FUN AT YOUR GAME NIGHT? 47 00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,619 I'VE GOT IT! OKAY, WE'RE DONE HERE. 48 00:01:58,652 --> 00:02:00,354 EVERYBODY OUT! 49 00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:05,226 JIM, IT'S ONE NIGHT. 50 00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:07,228 IT'S CAKE AND IT'S DRINKS, 51 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,230 AND IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT TO ME. 52 00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:11,232 YOU KNOW WHAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME, CHERYL? 53 00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:14,268 FILING THE PROPER PAPERWORK! 54 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:17,671 BUT THAT'S NOT AS IMPORTANT AS MAKING ME HAPPY, RIGHT? 55 00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:21,275 I DON'T KNOW. LET ME CHECK THE FILES. 56 00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:24,245 NO, CAN'T FIND IT IN THE FILES. 57 00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,647 CHECK UNDER "W" FOR "WEDDING VOWS." 58 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:29,317 OH, MUST HAVE LOST IT IN THE FIRE. 59 00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:31,552 "L" FOR "LOVING ACTS OF KINDNESS." 60 00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,554 NOT THERE. 61 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:36,557 "H" FOR "HALF YOUR STUFF." THERE IT IS. 62 00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:39,593 ♪♪♪ 63 00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:46,667 NOW IT'S ALWAYS SMART, 64 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,669 BEFORE WE START, TO REVIEW THE INSTRUCTIONS. 65 00:02:48,702 --> 00:02:51,539 "CHAPTER ONE... SO YOU BOUGHT YOURSELF A NEW WAXER..." 66 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,741 CHAPTER TWO... JIM TURNS IT ON. 67 00:02:53,774 --> 00:02:56,910 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! JIM! OH, NO! 68 00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:58,912 WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? 69 00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,981 IT SAYS TO BEGIN ON THE LOWEST SETTING! 70 00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,284 OH! TURN IT OFF! 71 00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:06,320 I DON'T KNOW HOW I TURNED IT ON! TURN IT OFF! 72 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:14,828 WHEW. 73 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:16,630 WHAT... WHAT DID YOU DO? 74 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:19,633 I DON'T KNOW. I JUST PRESSED THESE... 75 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,935 OH. OH! 76 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:25,673 (crash) OW! MY BACK! 77 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,675 UH, APPENDIX A... 78 00:03:27,708 --> 00:03:30,811 "SO YOU'VE HURT YOURSELF USING YOUR NEW WAXER." 79 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:38,018 HEY, BUDDY, HOW'S YOUR BACK? 80 00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,020 CHERYL SAID YOU WERE AT THE EMERGENCY ROOM 81 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:42,456 FOR A COUPLE HOURS. 82 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:45,859 I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD USE A HUG. 83 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:49,297 SO SAY HI TO GET BETTER BEAR. 84 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:53,233 WELL, HELLO, GET BETTER BEAR. 85 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:57,971 UH, JIM, ARE YOU OKAY? 86 00:03:58,005 --> 00:04:00,408 OH, MR. BEAR, 87 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:02,543 WOULD YOU LIKE SOME HONEY? 88 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:04,545 I DON'T THINK WE HAVE ANY, 89 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,647 BUT WE GOT LOTS OF SUGAR. 90 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,652 UH, LET ME GUESS. PAIN PILLS? 91 00:04:11,685 --> 00:04:13,687 OH, DON'T MIND IF I DO. 92 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:18,926 OH, THERE ARE MY ANGELS. 93 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:20,928 HEY... 94 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:25,032 (high-pitched voice) I LOVE YOU BEAR-Y MUCH! 95 00:04:25,065 --> 00:04:28,502 WHAT THE "H"? 96 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:30,871 THE, UH, PAIN PILLS YOUR DAD'S TAKIN' 97 00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,906 ARE MAKING HIM FEEL PRETTY GOOD. 98 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:35,909 (whispers) UM, SO IF YOU HAVE ANY BAD NEWS, 99 00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,945 NOW'S THE TIME. 100 00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:43,417 I QUIT BASEBALL AND NEVER TOLD YOU. 101 00:04:45,486 --> 00:04:47,455 (normal voice) THAT'S OKAY, SON. 102 00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,590 I NEVER PAID THE LEAGUE FEES! 103 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:51,559 SOMETIMES I STEAL MONEY 104 00:04:51,592 --> 00:04:54,395 FROM MOMMY'S PURSE. 105 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:56,897 SO DO I! 106 00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,932 (normal voice) ALL RIGHT, YOU TWO, BEAT IT. 107 00:04:58,966 --> 00:05:02,336 I GOT SOME THINGS TO SAY BEFORE THIS THING WEARS OFF. 108 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:04,338 UH, JIM, A-A WHILE AGO 109 00:05:04,372 --> 00:05:07,508 I, UH, RENTED A CAR ON THE COMPANY CREDIT CARD 110 00:05:07,541 --> 00:05:09,877 SO I COULD TAKE A GIRL ON A DATE. 111 00:05:11,879 --> 00:05:13,781 THAT'S GREAT. 112 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,784 I ALSO RENTED THE DATE. 113 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:18,919 THAT'S OKAY, ANDY. 114 00:05:18,952 --> 00:05:21,755 IT'S ONLY MONEY, 115 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:24,358 AND I WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY. 116 00:05:24,392 --> 00:05:26,927 HEY, HONEY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT MY CAKE PARTY, 117 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,397 AND I WAS THINKING MAYBE 'CAUSE YOU'RE HURT, 118 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:31,399 I SHOULD POSTPONE IT. 119 00:05:31,432 --> 00:05:32,900 WHY, HONEY? IT'S SO IMPORTANT TO YOU. 120 00:05:32,933 --> 00:05:36,404 YEAH, BUT... BUT MAYBE I SHOULD JUST CUT DOWN THE GUEST LIST. 121 00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:39,807 NO, I THINK YOU SHOULD ADD TO IT. 122 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,675 REALLY? WHO? 123 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:44,678 (high-pitched voice) HI, CHERYL. 124 00:05:44,712 --> 00:05:48,348 I LIKE CAKE, TOO! 125 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:54,622 OHH, I LOVE THIS BEAR! 126 00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,728 (normal voice) YOU'RE SOMETHIN' ELSE! 127 00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,796 I'M GONNA GO IN THE KITCHEN 128 00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:05,699 AND LOOK FOR SOME SUGAR FOR MR. BEAR! 129 00:06:11,572 --> 00:06:13,941 AHH, THERE'S MY BUDDY... 130 00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,644 WHO'S WITH HIS BUDDY. 131 00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,012 AHH, HEY. 132 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:21,615 UM, JUST A QUICK HEADS UP, 133 00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:23,517 I'M GONNA BE PLAYING GOLF THURSDAY MORNING, 134 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:25,986 SO I'M GONNA BE A LITTLE LATE TO WORK. 135 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:29,557 UH, I'LL BE IN AROUND NOON ON MONDAY. 136 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,493 THAT IS TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE! 137 00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,495 OH, UH, NO, I-I JUST THOUGHT THAT... 138 00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:37,164 ANDY, ANDY, PLEASE, I AM WATCHING THE GAME RIGHT NOW! 139 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,166 WELL, WHAT HAPPENED TO... 140 00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,969 OH, COME ON, REF! THAT'S THE WORST CALL I'VE EVER... 141 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,571 (grunts) STUPID REF! 142 00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:45,473 AAH! OH, MY GOD! 143 00:06:45,506 --> 00:06:48,008 GET BETTER BEAR! 144 00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,444 LET ME GUESS, YOU'RE... YOU'RE OFF THE PAIN MEDS? 145 00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,480 YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I AM! WHY? 146 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:55,148 'CAUSE I DON'T NEED 'EM ANYMORE! I'M NOT IN PAIN! 147 00:06:55,182 --> 00:06:57,217 WELL, YOU SEEM LIKE YOU MIGHT BE IN PAIN. 148 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,219 WELL, I CAN HANDLE IT! 149 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,489 NOW GIVE ME THE REMOTE AND GET ME A SODA. 150 00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:04,492 JEEZ, FINE. 151 00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:06,494 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE UPSET AT ME 152 00:07:06,527 --> 00:07:09,497 WHEN KYLE QUIT BASEBALL AND RUBY'S STEALIN' FROM CHERYL. 153 00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:11,932 WHAT?! 154 00:07:22,843 --> 00:07:25,212 PUT MINE IN A GLASS! 155 00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:27,948 DAMN IT! 156 00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:43,096 (chuckles) 157 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,902 NAH, I COULDN'T. 158 00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:51,539 WELL, I COULD... 159 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:54,174 BUT I SHOULDN'T. 160 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:56,176 I SHOULDN'T... 161 00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:59,179 (whispers) BUT I MIGHT. 162 00:07:59,212 --> 00:08:01,915 (groaning) 163 00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:03,951 UH, I WANT TO, BUT I WON'T. 164 00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,953 HEY! 165 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:09,823 WHO IS AMBER, AND WHAT DOES SHE DO FOR $500? 166 00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:15,696 (normal voice) I WANT TO, AND I WILL. 167 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:18,098 (chuckles) 168 00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:19,867 AHH, I DID IT, 169 00:08:19,900 --> 00:08:22,135 AND I'M GLAD. 170 00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:27,274 (groans) 171 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:29,276 TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH! 172 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,178 OH... (laughs) 173 00:08:31,211 --> 00:08:35,048 I, UH... I WANTED TO MAKE IT JUST RIGHT. 174 00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:45,859 WELL, HERE IT IS... THE SEARS TOWER IN CAKE. 175 00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:47,861 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 176 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:50,698 (sighs) IN A WORD... NO. 177 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:52,766 WHAT? NOW AS AN ARCHITECT, 178 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,736 MAY I, UH, POINT OUT THAT THE SCALE'S COMPLETELY OFF, 179 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:58,739 THE DETAIL IS HORRENDOUS, 180 00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:01,942 AND IT'S MISSING ITS TRADEMARK RADIO TOWERS. 181 00:09:01,975 --> 00:09:04,044 I'LL LET YOU LICK THE KNIFE. 182 00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:06,947 OH, HOORAY. 183 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,182 OH, CHERYL? 184 00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,785 CHERYL. 185 00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:14,121 I SPOTTED THIS FLOWER ON MY WALK. 186 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,657 IT REMINDED ME OF YOU. 187 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,692 OHH. 188 00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,894 IT LOOKS BEAUTIFUL, 189 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,664 IT SMELLS GREAT, 190 00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:26,199 AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN I LOOK AT IT. 191 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,602 HONEY. 192 00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:31,605 WELL, HELLO, CHEERFUL. WHAT GOT INTO YOU? 193 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,607 (chuckles) 194 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,042 CHERYL! 195 00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:38,979 I-IS THAT THE SEARS TOWER? YEAH. 196 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:42,082 WHAT A GREAT LIKENESS! AHH! 197 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,952 (coughs) SUCKY CAKE, SUCKY CAKE! (clears throat) 198 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,954 IT'S COMPLETELY EDIBLE, 199 00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:49,857 EVEN THE SECURITY GUARD MADE OUT OF MARZIPAN. 200 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,392 (squeaky laugh) 201 00:09:52,425 --> 00:09:54,394 THE SECURITY GUARDS 202 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:56,864 ARE MADE OUT OF MAMSY-POO? 203 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:05,105 I AM GONNA HAVE A GREAT TIME AT THIS PARTY TONIGHT! 204 00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,777 WELL, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 205 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:12,780 I NEED TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH MY KIDS, 206 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:16,784 AND THEN I'M GONNA CLIP THE HAIR OUT OF MY EAR. 207 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,886 MM. MM. 208 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,991 OH, WHAT THE HELL? 209 00:10:27,795 --> 00:10:30,363 YOU TASTE LIKE FROSTING! 210 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:36,036 I KNEW YOU WOULD! 211 00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:41,875 LOVE THIS GUY, LOVE THIS GUY! 212 00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:45,779 WOW. 213 00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,781 THAT WAS WEIRD. (clears throat) 214 00:10:47,815 --> 00:10:50,017 I THOUGHT JIM WAS DONE TAKING HIS PAIN PILLS. 215 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,019 OH, REALLY? UH-HUH. 216 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,755 WELL, MAYBE SOMEONE REFILLED HIS PRESCRIPTION. 217 00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,757 (chuckles) 218 00:10:56,790 --> 00:10:57,991 WHAT DID YOU DO? 219 00:10:58,025 --> 00:11:00,761 MM, NOTHING. 220 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,697 YOU DID SOMETHING. OKAY, I DID DO SOMETHING... 221 00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:06,066 SOMETHING WONDERFUL. 222 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,769 ANDY, YOU DRUGGED HIM. (gasps) 223 00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:12,372 CHERYL! "DRUGGED" IS SUCH A TERRIBLE WORD. 224 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,742 WELL... I MEDICATED HIM. 225 00:11:14,775 --> 00:11:16,744 HOW COULD YOU DO THAT? 226 00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,712 OH, HE WAS BEIN' A JERK! 227 00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:21,849 SO, YOU KNOW, SOME PILLS ACCIDENTALLY 228 00:11:21,882 --> 00:11:25,285 FOUND THEIR WAY INTO HIS SODA... (gasps) 229 00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:28,455 YESTERDAY... AND AGAIN TODAY. 230 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,825 ANDY, THAT IS DANGEROUS AND IMMORAL. 231 00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:33,761 YOU CAN'T GIVE PAINKILLERS TO SOMEONE 232 00:11:33,794 --> 00:11:35,763 WHEN THEY'RE NOT IN PAIN! 233 00:11:35,796 --> 00:11:39,366 CHERYL, HE TORE THE HEAD OFF A DEFENSELESS GET BETTER BEAR! 234 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:41,368 AND, BY THE WAY, 235 00:11:41,401 --> 00:11:43,737 HE'S STEALING MONEY FROM YOUR PURSE. 236 00:11:43,771 --> 00:11:45,405 UGH, SO DOES RUBY. 237 00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:48,976 THAT'S NO REASON TO DRUG HIM! 238 00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:52,379 FINE, FINE. YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT. 239 00:11:52,412 --> 00:11:54,381 OH, HMM. AHH. 240 00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:57,250 I MEAN, WHAT'S... WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL IF HE'S NOT IN A GOOD MOOD 241 00:11:57,284 --> 00:11:59,252 FOR YOUR CAKE DECORATING PARTY, HUH? 242 00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:01,421 NO, NO, NO. 243 00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,423 YOUR GUESTS WILL HAVE A GREAT TIME 244 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,493 FROM THE MOMENT THEY ENTER UNTIL FIVE MINUTES LATER 245 00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:09,429 WHEN JIM YELLS AT THEM TO LEAVE. 246 00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:13,466 OH, I-I-I CAN'T GIVE HIM PAINKILLERS 247 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,804 WHEN HE'S NOT EVEN HURT. 248 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,441 WELL, THEN MAYBE WE SHOULD HURT HIM. 249 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:28,515 OKAY, WE'RE GONNA ASK JIM TO TAKE THIS CAKE BOX 250 00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:31,518 OUT TO THE FRIDGE IN THE GARAGE. (grunts) 251 00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,054 OKAY. 252 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,056 THE WEIGHT OF THE CINDER BLOCKS 253 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:39,059 WILL THROW HIM OFF BALANCE, AND HE'LL HURT HIS BACK. 254 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,560 OHH. 255 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:44,865 HE'LL BE IN SO MUCH PAIN, HE'LL HAVE TO TAKE ANOTHER PILL. 256 00:12:44,898 --> 00:12:48,902 THIS IS SO MUCH NICER THAN DRUGGING HIM FOR NO REASON. YEAH. 257 00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:50,938 OHH, SO WHEN DO WE DO IT? 258 00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:52,906 WHEN THE OTHER PILL WEARS OFF. OKAY. 259 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:55,542 HEY! WHERE'S THE REMOTE? 260 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:58,545 WHO HID MY REMOTE? 261 00:12:58,578 --> 00:13:01,849 OH, OH. 262 00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,918 I FOUND IT. I'M SITTIN' ON IT. 263 00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:07,855 I THINK IT'S TIME. LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES. 264 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,857 WHOA. WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHERE YOU GOIN'? 265 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,859 I CAN'T BE A PART OF THIS. 266 00:13:11,892 --> 00:13:13,861 WHAT? NO, YOU... YOU THOUGHT OF IT! 267 00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:16,563 IT... WE'RE CALLING IT CHERYL'S CINDER BLOCK CAKE PLAN! 268 00:13:19,099 --> 00:13:21,201 ANDY, 269 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,104 THIS IS NOT A REMOTE, THIS IS A CELL PHONE. 270 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:27,107 I PRESSED CHANNEL 6 AND CALLED MY MOTHER! 271 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,576 HEY, BUDDY, 272 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:32,379 UM, REALLY GLAD YOU'RE HERE. 273 00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:35,482 LISTEN, CHERYL WOULD LIKE YOU TO TAKE THIS CAKE BOX 274 00:13:35,515 --> 00:13:37,484 OUT TO THE GARAGE REFRIGERATOR. 275 00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:40,387 WHY DON'T YOU TAKE IT? 276 00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,890 UH, BECAUSE SHE WANTS YOU TO TAKE IT. 277 00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:44,958 WELL, NOW I'M TELLIN' YOU TO TAKE IT. 278 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:48,528 NO, SHE TOLD ME TO TELL YOU TO TAKE IT. 279 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:51,498 WELL, WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHO TAKES... WOULD YOU JUST TAKE IT?! 280 00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,971 WOW, YOU'RE QUITE STRONG. 281 00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:00,373 WOULD YOU GET THE DOOR FOR ME? 282 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,910 UH, OH, W-W-WHY DON'T YOU GET THE DOOR? 283 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:04,878 WHY DO I HAVE TO GET THE DOOR? 284 00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,915 FINE, TAKE THE CAKE. FINE. OW! 285 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:14,888 WHAT WAS THE CINDER BLOCK DOIN' IN THAT BOX FOR THE CAKE? 286 00:14:14,922 --> 00:14:17,057 I COULD'VE PULLED MY BACK AGAIN! 287 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:20,127 GET ME A PAIN PILL, GET ME A PAIN PILL! 288 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,963 WELL, FINE, FINE. 289 00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:24,397 YOU GOT ONE. 290 00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:26,433 AS LONG AS YOU TELL ME WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE. 291 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,468 OH, THE PAIN, THE PAIN! 292 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:31,371 RELIEF IS RIGHT HERE! 293 00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:33,573 OH. WHAT'S WITH THE CINDER BLOCK? 294 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:35,575 UH, IT'S... IT'S A NEW KIND OF CAKE. 295 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,578 I DON'T EXPECT IT'LL CATCH ON. 296 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:41,681 NO, NO, NO! OKAY, CHERYL... CHERYL'S TRYING TO HURT YOU! 297 00:14:41,714 --> 00:14:44,985 WHY? UH, SHE WANTS YOU TO HAVE TO TAKE PAIN PILLS 298 00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:46,954 SO YOU'RE NOT A JERK AT THE PARTY. 299 00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:48,521 HER WORDS, NOT MINE. 300 00:14:48,555 --> 00:14:51,992 ANDY, DID YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS? 301 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,994 UH, YES, YES I DID. 302 00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:56,396 I WAS IN ON IT FROM THE BEGINNING, 303 00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:58,565 I EVEN HELPED NAME THE PLAN. 304 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:01,401 ANDY, THANK YOU FOR BEING HONEST. 305 00:15:01,434 --> 00:15:04,304 OHH! 306 00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:05,572 WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR? 307 00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:08,708 BECAUSE I'M A JERK WITHOUT MY PAIN PILLS! 308 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:13,280 SHE WANTS ME HOPPED UP ON PILLS, DOES SHE? 309 00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:16,249 WELL, THEN YOU KNOW WHAT? 310 00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:18,251 I'M GONNA BE HOPPED UP ON PILLS. 311 00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:20,253 AND YOU KNOW WHAT? 312 00:15:20,287 --> 00:15:23,390 I'M GONNA HAVE NICE MINTY FRESH BREATH. 313 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:32,232 (gasps) MEREDITH, 314 00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,367 THAT IS SO GREAT! 315 00:15:34,401 --> 00:15:36,236 NIAGARA FALLS, RIGHT? 316 00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:41,474 IT WAS THE WHITE HOUSE, WASN'T IT, MERV? 317 00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:44,211 I TRIPPED COMING UP THE STEPS. 318 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,249 (Jim) OOH! 319 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,385 HELLO. 320 00:15:55,422 --> 00:15:57,590 WHAT A BEAUTIFUL 321 00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,260 LIVING ROOM. 322 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,362 THAT'S A FUNNY WORD... 323 00:16:02,395 --> 00:16:05,732 ROOM. 324 00:16:05,765 --> 00:16:09,402 (rolls R's) ROOM! 325 00:16:09,436 --> 00:16:13,140 (rolls R's) ROOM! 326 00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:16,209 THERE'S MY BEAUTIFUL WIFE! 327 00:16:18,278 --> 00:16:20,647 GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY WIFE! 328 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,583 EASY, MERV. 329 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,518 (gasps) 330 00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:29,322 TWINS! 331 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,191 HOT! 332 00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:34,261 I-I-I'M SORRY. MY... MY HUSBAND HURT HIS BACK. 333 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,196 HE'S BEEN TAKING SOME PAIN PILLS. 334 00:16:36,229 --> 00:16:38,631 OH, YEAH, ABOUT THAT CHERYL. 335 00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:41,434 TH-THEY'RE NOT REALLY WORKIN', SO I TOOK A COUPLE MORE. 336 00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,670 (gasps) WHAT? HOW MANY? 337 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,405 I DON'T KNOW. 338 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,340 TWO? 339 00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:50,177 FOUR? 340 00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:53,413 ♪ SIX, EIGHT, WHO DO WE APPRECIATE? ♪ 341 00:16:53,446 --> 00:16:57,184 ♪ CHERYL, CHERYL 342 00:16:57,217 --> 00:16:59,352 YEAH! 343 00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,321 HONEY, HONEY, HONEY. 344 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,091 I THINK MAYBE YOU TOOK TOO MANY. 345 00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:06,093 NO, I-I JUST TOOK LIKE THIS 346 00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:09,396 AND PUT 'EM IN MY HAND LIKE THAT, AND THEN I WENT LIKE THIS. 347 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:11,398 (gasps) JIM, JIM. 348 00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,600 THAT IS REALLY, REALLY BAD. 349 00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,636 CHERYL! 350 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:19,172 LOOK AT THAT! 351 00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:21,541 WOW! 352 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,676 I KNOW THIS ONE. 353 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:27,147 THIS IS THAT BUILDING IN WASHINGTON 354 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:29,382 HONORING THAT GUY 355 00:17:29,416 --> 00:17:31,418 WITH THE BUILDING IN WASHINGTON! 356 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:37,090 THAT'S BIG. 357 00:17:37,124 --> 00:17:39,859 I WOULDN'T DO THAT, CH... 358 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,595 HEY, CHERYL, LOOK. 359 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:46,199 I'M... I'M JIM-ZILLA. 360 00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:49,269 (growling) 361 00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:04,351 OH! OH! 362 00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:07,120 JIMMY! CAN YOU HEAR ME? 363 00:18:07,154 --> 00:18:09,489 OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD! 364 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,325 IS THAT YOU, MOMMY? 365 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,394 OH, ANDY! ANDY, COME HERE. 366 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:17,130 JIM... JIM TOOK TOO MANY PAIN PILLS AND HE PASSED OUT! 367 00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:19,366 HE'S FINE. HE DIDN'T TAKE ANY PAIN PILLS. 368 00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:20,833 HE'S FAKIN' IT. 369 00:18:20,867 --> 00:18:23,770 WHAT? WHAT? IS... IS THAT TRUE? 370 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,539 YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT IT'S TRUE! 371 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:29,376 WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? 372 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:32,279 TO TEACH YOU A LESSON! A LESSON ABOUT WHAT? 373 00:18:32,312 --> 00:18:34,814 THAT EVEN WITHOUT PAIN PILLS, 374 00:18:34,847 --> 00:18:37,484 I'M A PLEASANT GUY! 375 00:18:39,286 --> 00:18:40,820 OKAY, WE'RE DONE HERE. 376 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:42,855 EVERYBODY OUT! 377 00:18:44,857 --> 00:18:47,860 WELL, CHERYL, AS USUAL, 378 00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:50,563 I'VE DONE SOME OF MY BEST THINKING IN THE SHOWER, 379 00:18:50,597 --> 00:18:53,300 AND I HAVE DECIDED 380 00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:55,768 NOT TO PRESS CHARGES 381 00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,371 AS LONG AS YOUR APOLOGY IS SINCERE 382 00:18:58,405 --> 00:19:00,407 AND AT LEAST FIVE MINUTES LONG. 383 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:03,276 I'M SUPPOSED TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU? 384 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,845 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. LET ME START THE WATCH. 385 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:07,847 GO! 386 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,849 YOU RUINED MY PARTY, 387 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,851 AND YOU EMBARRASSED ME. 388 00:19:11,884 --> 00:19:14,787 YOU TRIED TO DRUG ME! 389 00:19:14,821 --> 00:19:16,356 MEDICATE YOU. 390 00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:20,227 I JUST DIDN'T WANT ANOTHER PARTY TO END IN A SCENE. 391 00:19:20,260 --> 00:19:22,695 WELL, THEN DON'T INVITE ME! 392 00:19:22,729 --> 00:19:24,464 JIM, IS IT REALLY THAT AWFUL? 393 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,966 YES, CHERYL, IT IS THAT AWFUL. IT IS. 394 00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,203 I LOVE YOU, I LOVE THE CHILDREN, AND I TOLERATE ANDY. 395 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:33,506 THAT IS IT! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT. 396 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,508 WHY DO YOU KEEP HAVIN' THESE PARTIES? 397 00:19:35,542 --> 00:19:38,445 WELL, I GUESS I JUST KEEP HOPING YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THE NEXT ONE. 398 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,447 CHERYL, CHERYL, AT THE WEDDING, 399 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,416 WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING I SAID AFTER "I DO"? 400 00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,385 YOU TURNED TO MY FATHER 401 00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:48,721 AND YOU SAID, "TAKE THAT. SHE'S MINE NOW." 402 00:19:48,755 --> 00:19:50,357 AFTER THAT, AFTER THAT. 403 00:19:50,390 --> 00:19:53,660 YOU SAID, "CAN WE SKIP THE RECEPTION?" 404 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,662 SEE? 405 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:58,365 I MAY BE A JERK, HONEY, BUT I'M CONSISTENT. 406 00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:00,900 ALL RIGHT, FINE. 407 00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:03,403 FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES, WE'LL NEVER GO TO ANOTHER PARTY. 408 00:20:03,436 --> 00:20:06,373 THANK YOU. 409 00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:09,442 I THINK THAT'S THE FIRST FIGHT I'VE EVER WON. 410 00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:12,445 WAIT, LET ME CHECK MY FILES. 411 00:20:12,479 --> 00:20:14,647 YEP, FIRST ONE! 412 00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:17,384 YES, JIM, YOU WON. 413 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:20,253 I DID. SO NO MORE KIDS' BIRTHDAY PARTIES? 414 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:22,355 OH, WE CAN HAVE KIDS' BIRTHDAYS. 415 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:24,023 NO THANKSGIVING OR CHRISTMAS? 416 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:27,327 HONEY, THOSE ARE HOLIDAYS. WE HAVE TURKEY. 417 00:20:27,360 --> 00:20:29,329 THAT'S DIFFERENT. 418 00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:32,832 SUPER BOWL? I INVITE A COUPLE FRIENDS OVER! 419 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,968 HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU GET A NEW GRILL? OH, I LOVE BARBECUES. 420 00:20:36,002 --> 00:20:38,805 BUT BARBECUES AREN'T PARTIES. 421 00:20:38,838 --> 00:20:40,640 YES, THEY ARE! 422 00:20:40,673 --> 00:20:42,642 WE JUST DON'T CALL THEM THAT. 423 00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:45,312 REALLY? YES! 424 00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:47,614 WELL, THEN MAYBE IT'S POSSIBLE 425 00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:50,917 I JUST DON'T LIKE MEREDITH AND MERV. 426 00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:53,052 FINE, THEY ARE DEAD TO ME. 427 00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,288 KYLE CAN GET A NEW GODMOTHER. 428 00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:56,856 BUT I STILL WIN, RIGHT? 429 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,691 OH, YOU TOTALLY WIN! 430 00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:02,061 YOU TOLD ME WHAT'S WHAT, AND I BACKED DOWN. 431 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:03,996 DAMN RIGHT. 432 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:06,933 NOW... 433 00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:10,069 YOU FILE THE PROPER PAPERWORK, 434 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:13,072 AND I'LL CONSIDER THIS FIGHT OVER. 435 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:14,907 YOU KNOW, 436 00:21:14,941 --> 00:21:17,510 I THINK I HAVE THE PROPER PAPERWORK RIGHT HERE. 437 00:21:17,544 --> 00:21:19,646 MM. 438 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:22,014 I THINK I'D LIKE THAT IN TRIPLICATE, PLEASE. 30353

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.