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1
00:00:00,868 --> 00:00:03,371
(grunting)
ONE, TWO, THREE, HIKE!
2
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:05,439
OH!
3
00:00:05,473 --> 00:00:07,441
HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO.
4
00:00:07,475 --> 00:00:10,478
(humming)
5
00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:19,053
WHERE'S THE BALL?
WHERE'S THE BALL?
6
00:00:19,087 --> 00:00:20,554
ANDY, WHAT THE HELL?
7
00:00:20,588 --> 00:00:23,491
WE... WE'RE SUPPOSED TO PLAY
SNOW FOOTBALL IN 20 MINUTES.
8
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,327
WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED FOR THE
GAME? ANDY, DO YOU WANT TO TELL JIM
9
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:30,298
WHY YOU'RE NOT DRESSED
FOR THE GAME? (grunts)
10
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:32,300
WELL, UH, UH, MANDY THINKS...
11
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,102
AHEM!
12
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,804
I THINK I'M A GROWN MAN
13
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:39,540
WITH RESPONSIBILITIES,
AND PLAYING TACKLE FOOTBALL
14
00:00:39,573 --> 00:00:43,377
ON A FROZEN FIELD IS
AN UNNECESSARY RISK...
15
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:47,848
CONSIDERING
I'M NOT IN THE BEST SHAPE.
16
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:52,086
ANDY, THIS IS
THE OAK PARK SNOW BOWL.
17
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:57,758
IT'S A SACRED TRADITION
DATING BACK OVER TWO YEARS.
18
00:00:57,791 --> 00:01:00,194
HE BRINGS UP A HELL OF A POINT.
19
00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:01,562
I'M NOT PLAYING.
20
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:05,766
FINE. GREAT. NO PROBLEM.
21
00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,502
SEE, ANDY? HE DIDN'T SCREAM.
HE DIDN'T STOMP ON YOUR FEET.
22
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:11,339
HE DIDN'T TWIST
YOUR NIPPLES.
23
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:13,541
HE'S YOUR FRIEND,
AND HE RESPECTS YOUR DECISION.
24
00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:17,111
THAT'S RIGHT. OKAY, I HAVE TO
GO. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. MWAH.
25
00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:19,289
SEE YOU LATER, MANDY. THANKS
FOR COMING BY. NO, NO. NO, NO.
26
00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:22,116
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANDY.
HE'S SAFE HERE. MANDY. MANDY!
27
00:01:22,150 --> 00:01:23,517
OKAY.
28
00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:25,119
(door shuts)
29
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,491
SO SHOULD WE
JUST GET IT OVER WITH?
30
00:01:30,524 --> 00:01:33,794
SURE.
31
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:36,130
AAH! AAH! AAH!
32
00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:40,168
OHH! WHAT THE HELL
IS WRONG WITH YOU?
33
00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:44,505
NOW YOU CAN'T LIVE YOUR LIFE BY
MANDY'S RULES. MANDY SAYS I CAN.
34
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:48,342
WELL, MANDY'S CRAZY! OH. I DON'T
KNOW IF YOU'VE NOTICED THIS, JIM,
35
00:01:48,376 --> 00:01:51,855
BUT I'VE HAD A LITTLE TROUBLE HANGING ON TO
WOMEN LATELY. BECAUSE YOU'RE DOING IT ALL WRONG.
36
00:01:51,879 --> 00:01:54,682
OH, YEAH? YEAH, LISTEN
TO MY RULES, ALL RIGHT?
37
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:57,418
RULE NUMBER ONE... IN ORDER
TO GET RESPECT FROM A WOMAN,
38
00:01:57,451 --> 00:02:00,388
YOU GOTTA SET DOWN THE TERMS
AND THE BOUNDARIES
39
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:01,831
OF THE RELATIONSHIP.
AH, BUT MANDY SAYS...
40
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:04,925
(mocking voice) OH, "MANDY SAYS,
MANDY SAYS, MANDY SAYS."
41
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,495
(normal voice)
COME ON. YOU'RE A MAN.
42
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:09,697
YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT.
(sighs)
43
00:02:09,730 --> 00:02:13,267
(mocking voice) OH, UNLESS YOU
STILL NEED MOMMY'S PERMISSION.
44
00:02:13,301 --> 00:02:15,903
NO, NO.
I GOT MOM'S PERMISSION.
45
00:02:15,936 --> 00:02:17,371
(normal voice)
OH, ANDY.
46
00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:19,707
SHE... SHE JUST SAID
WEAR AN EXTRA SWEATER.
47
00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:23,677
OH!
ANDY, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.
48
00:02:23,711 --> 00:02:26,480
LISTEN, I KNOW YOU THINK THAT
PATHETIC WITH A GIRLFRIEND
49
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:29,417
IS BETTER THAN JUST PATHETIC.
50
00:02:29,450 --> 00:02:31,419
YEAH.
IT'S NOT.
51
00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:33,454
IT'S NOT?
NO, BECAUSE IN A WEEK'S TIME,
52
00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,456
YOU'RE GONNA BE PATHETIC
AND DUMPED,
53
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,458
AND THEN
AFTER THAT YOU'RE GONNA BE
54
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,460
PATHETIC AND DRUNK
AND ON MY COUCH.
55
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,663
AND THAT RUNS
EXACTLY INTO THIS!
56
00:02:42,696 --> 00:02:43,931
AAH!
57
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,734
COME ON, ANDY.
WISE UP HERE.
58
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,770
ARE YOU SAYING THAT SEXY MANDY
WILL STAY WITH PATHETIC ANDY
59
00:02:49,803 --> 00:02:52,373
IF PATHETIC ANDY DOESN'T DO
WHAT SEXY MANDY SAYS?
60
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:54,442
RIGHT.
61
00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:56,477
YEAH? WHY?
62
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:59,680
BECAUSE WOMEN ARE STRANGE.
63
00:02:59,713 --> 00:03:02,350
THEY'RE MYSTERIOUS CREATURES.
(chuckles)
64
00:03:02,383 --> 00:03:04,985
WHO KNOWS WHY THEY DO
WHAT THEY DO?
65
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,755
NOW LET'S GO JUMP
THE JUNKYARD FENCE
66
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:11,659
AND TACKLE SOME MIDDLE-AGED MEN
ON A FROZEN FIELD!
67
00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,661
YEAH!
68
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,697
♪♪♪
69
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:29,277
AAH! AAH! AAH!
70
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,312
YEAH. MM-HMM.
71
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:32,946
AAH!
OHH.
72
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:33,981
HEE!
73
00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,649
UH-HUH.
74
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:39,420
WHAT DO YOU THINK, DOC? I
THINK IF YOU PLAY TACKLE FOOTBALL
75
00:03:39,453 --> 00:03:41,655
ON A FROZEN FIELD,
IT'S RISKY...
76
00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,958
CONSIDERING HE'S NOT
IN THE BEST OF SHAPE.
77
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:49,363
YOU KNOW, DOC,
I TRIED TO TELL HIM THAT.
78
00:03:49,397 --> 00:03:51,965
SEE? YOU SHOULD LISTEN
TO YOUR DAD.
79
00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,704
I CAN BARELY MOVE MY ARMS.
80
00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,273
DOES IT HURT
WHEN YOU DO THIS?
81
00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,675
(groans) YEAH. Y-YES.
82
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:04,378
SO DON'T DO THAT.
83
00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:08,449
THAT'S ONE FROM OUR GENERATION.
REMEMBER THAT?
84
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:10,684
DOC, IS HE GONNA
BE ALL RIGHT?
85
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:12,686
YEAH, YEAH,
HE'S GONNA BE FINE.
86
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,289
WE'RE GONNA BRING IN
OUR PHYSICAL THERAPIST
87
00:04:15,323 --> 00:04:19,693
TO SHOW HIM SOME EXERCISES,
AND, UH... (coughs)
88
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:23,297
IT'S GONNA HELP YOUR FLEXIBILITY
IF YOU DO THEM.
89
00:04:23,331 --> 00:04:26,367
OKAY? (coughs)
I GOTTA SEE A DOCTOR.
90
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:29,603
I GOT A COUGH HERE.
91
00:04:29,637 --> 00:04:32,540
I AM SO SCREWED!
92
00:04:32,573 --> 00:04:35,409
MANDY'S GONNA FIND OUT
I PLAYED FOOTBALL.
93
00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:37,578
HOW'S SHE GONNA FIND OUT?
94
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:43,016
JIM, I BRUSH HER HAIR
BEFORE WE GO TO BED.
95
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,522
YOU BRUSH HER HAIR?
96
00:04:48,556 --> 00:04:50,057
WELL, YEAH.
97
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:53,561
OH, MAN, WE GOT
A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
98
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:57,631
HI. YOU MUST BE ANDY.
99
00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:59,667
POOR THING.
100
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,039
LET'S GET YOU UP ON YOUR FEET
101
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:10,010
SO I CAN GET A BASELINE CHECK
OF YOUR FLEXIBILITY.
102
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,714
I NEED YOU TO STAND
IN FRONT OF ME
103
00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:17,084
AND STRETCH OUT YOUR ARMS
AS FAR AS YOU CAN.
104
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:21,355
AHH.
105
00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:22,890
OHH.
106
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,492
HOW DOES THAT FEEL?
107
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:25,893
OH, PRETTY GOOD!
108
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:30,030
BUT I'D GIVE ANYTHING
TO DO A LITTLE BETTER.
109
00:05:30,063 --> 00:05:32,500
YOU KNOW,
MY ARMS ARE A LITTLE SORE.
110
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,502
CAN YOU DO A BASELINE ON ME?
111
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:37,605
OHH. NO, I'M SORRY. I ACTUALLY
NEED TO FOCUS ON YOUR SON.
112
00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:41,642
HMM. NOW PALMS UP...
UH-HUH.
113
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,144
AND MOVE YOUR HANDS
LATERALLY.
114
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:46,680
(groans)
115
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:48,616
OW!
116
00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:50,618
GOOD.
117
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:55,088
(groaning)
118
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,525
AND NOW UP AND DOWN.
119
00:05:57,558 --> 00:06:00,594
(groaning)
120
00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:03,564
DO YOU MIND IF I WATCH
FROM OVER HERE?
121
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,998
OHH.
122
00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:07,601
NOW FINGERS.
123
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:11,472
(high-pitched groaning)
124
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:13,607
CAN YOU MAKE A FIST?
AAH.
125
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,909
OKAY.
OHH.
126
00:06:15,943 --> 00:06:17,511
ARE YOU A COP?
127
00:06:17,545 --> 00:06:21,882
BECAUSE IF YOU ARE A COP,
YOU GOTTA TELL US.
128
00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:24,885
YOU KNOW,
YOU REALLY ARE STIFF.
129
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,494
AAH.
130
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:35,663
HEE.
131
00:06:35,696 --> 00:06:37,531
AAH.
132
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,533
OH, HO HO HO.
133
00:06:39,567 --> 00:06:41,068
(chuckles)
134
00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,836
AAH.
135
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,838
OHH.
136
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:47,140
AAH.
137
00:06:47,174 --> 00:06:49,643
(chuckles)
138
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:53,714
ALL RIGHT, BUDDY. I'M GONNA
GET YOU SO FLEXIBLE HERE
139
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,816
THAT MANDY WON'T
KNOW A THING. MM.
140
00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:58,118
ALL RIGHT,
GET UP ON YOUR FEET.
141
00:06:58,151 --> 00:07:00,120
(grunts)
142
00:07:00,153 --> 00:07:03,491
I CAN'T, JIM.
I CAN'T GET MYSELF UP.
143
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:06,727
ALL RIGHT, HERE. LET
ME PICK YOU UP. NO!
144
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,597
THAT'LL HURT TOO MUCH.
145
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,532
HERE. OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
146
00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:12,633
BITE.
147
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,535
BITE.
148
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,809
(grunting softly)
149
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:29,650
PRETTY SMART, HUH?
OHH!
150
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:37,224
(laughing)
151
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:42,062
I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU HERE!
152
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,632
YEAH, I KNOW.
153
00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:46,834
NOW HOLD ON.
OKAY.
154
00:07:46,867 --> 00:07:49,169
NOW PULL AS TIGHT
AS YOU CAN.
155
00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:50,671
(grunts)
156
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,573
THAT'S IT.
YEAH.
157
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,608
AAH! OH, HO!
158
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:57,044
OW! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!
159
00:07:57,077 --> 00:08:00,548
THAT'S FOR LAUGHING.
NOW HOLD THE END AGAIN.
160
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,516
OH, HELL, NO.
I DON'T TRUST YOU.
161
00:08:02,550 --> 00:08:05,553
COME ON. YOU CAN TRUST ME.
WE'RE EVEN NOW.
162
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,788
FINE, BUT IT'S UNDER PROTEST.
163
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:10,758
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
NOW HOLD IT AS TIGHT AS YOU CAN.
164
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,693
THERE YOU GO. VERY GOOD.
165
00:08:12,726 --> 00:08:15,729
AAH! THE OTHER SIDE!
166
00:08:15,763 --> 00:08:18,666
THAT'S FOR NOT TRUSTING ME!
167
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:24,672
ALL RIGHT. IT'S NICE, SAFE
AND SECURE HERE. (groaning)
168
00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:27,240
WHY DON'T YOU START
STRETCHING A LITTLE BIT?
169
00:08:27,274 --> 00:08:29,276
OKAY.
THERE YOU GO.
170
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,579
(grunts)
171
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,247
HEY.
172
00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,617
THAT FEELS PRETTY GOOD.
173
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:38,619
I'M TOTALLY LOOSENING UP.
174
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:40,554
RIGHT? RIGHT? ALL RIGHT.
175
00:08:40,588 --> 00:08:43,624
YOU FEEL BETTER? THEN WHY DON'T
YOU PUT A LITTLE WEIGHT INTO IT?
176
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:46,560
AH!
177
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:47,527
WOW!
178
00:08:47,561 --> 00:08:50,998
THERE YOU GO.
JIM, THAT FEELS REALLY GOOD.
179
00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:53,601
WELL, I'M ALL ABOUT
YOU FEELING GOOD.
180
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,669
WHOO.
181
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:57,037
(grunts)
182
00:08:57,070 --> 00:08:59,106
YEAH.
YOU LIKE THAT?
183
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,575
YEAH. OW!
184
00:09:01,609 --> 00:09:05,145
OHH! OHH!
185
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:06,614
OHH!
186
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:09,316
ANDY!
OHH!
187
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:11,652
COME ON.
STOP SCREWIN' AROUND.
188
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:15,756
SCREWING AROUND?
I'M WORSE THAN BEFORE!
189
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,792
ALL RIGHT. OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
190
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,594
UH-HUH.
BITE.
191
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:23,764
THERE YOU GO. COME
ON. THERE YOU GO. (grunting)
192
00:09:23,797 --> 00:09:26,199
COME HERE. GET UP.
GET UP. OW!
193
00:09:28,802 --> 00:09:30,804
AAH, AAH, AAH.
194
00:09:33,306 --> 00:09:35,142
THERE YOU GO.
195
00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:39,246
THIS OUGHT TO HOLD TILL ONE
OF THE KIDS FALLS THROUGH IT...
196
00:09:39,279 --> 00:09:41,281
AND THEN WE CAN BLAME THEM.
197
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:44,251
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
MANDY'S ON HER WAY OVER HERE.
198
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:49,156
OH, JUST RELAX.
RULE NUMBER TWO...
199
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:53,293
NEVER BE AFRAID
TO COVER UP A LIE.
200
00:09:53,326 --> 00:09:54,561
YOU KNOW, JIM,
201
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:57,931
YOUR RULES SOUND AN AWFUL LOT
LIKE RULES FOR SERIAL KILLING.
202
00:09:57,965 --> 00:09:59,933
THAT'S THE BEAUTY
OF MY RULES.
203
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:02,235
IT'S GOOD FOR EVERY KIND
OF RELATIONSHIP.
204
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:06,139
OW! I'M SORRY. ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
205
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:08,075
LISTEN, JUST RELAX.
206
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:12,345
YOU KNOW, MANDY NEEDS TO SEE YOU
GET HURT IN A DIFFERENT WAY.
207
00:10:12,379 --> 00:10:15,182
WELL, LIKE HOW?
208
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,184
(clicks tongue)
209
00:10:17,217 --> 00:10:19,653
(grunts)
210
00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:22,222
THE BANISTER.
211
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:24,191
YEAH, WHEN MANDY
COMES OVER HERE,
212
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,293
YOU TELL HER YOU GOTTA GO
TO THE BATHROOM.
213
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,963
THEN FALL THROUGH THE BANISTER
ON THE WAY UP THE STAIRS.
214
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:33,166
WHY WOULD I GO UPSTAIRS?
YOU HAVE A BATHROOM DOWNSTAIRS.
215
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,168
YOU'RE RIGHT.
BETTER SHE DUMP YOU.
216
00:10:35,202 --> 00:10:37,738
MOVE TO FLORIDA.
LIVE WITH YOUR MOM.
217
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,708
YOU KNOW, JUST BECAUSE
I POINT OUT A LOGIC FLAW
218
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,376
IS NO REASON TO BE MEAN.
ANDY, YOU HAVE TO MAKE A...
219
00:10:43,410 --> 00:10:45,145
HEY!
HEY.
220
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:48,048
THERE'S MY GIRL! HI!
HI, GUYS.
221
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:50,350
AAH!
222
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,185
(growls)
MM.
223
00:10:52,219 --> 00:10:53,320
(laughs)
224
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:56,056
SO WHAT DID YOU GUYS,
UH, END UP DOING
225
00:10:56,089 --> 00:10:58,091
INSTEAD OF PLAYING
SNOW FOOTBALL?
226
00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,928
WELL, WE JUST, UH, YOU KNOW,
WE KINDA HUNG AROUND HERE
227
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,930
AND DID SOME STUFF INSIDE.
228
00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:06,033
I MEAN, WE DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT THE WEATHER'S LIKE OUTSIDE
229
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:09,069
BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN INSIDE.
230
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:12,439
WOW, ANDY,
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU.
231
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:15,208
YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT FOR SURE
HE'D MAKE YOU PLAY.
232
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:18,178
HOW DARE YOU?
ANDY IS HIS OWN MAN.
233
00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,914
ANDY,
GO TO THE BATHROOM.
234
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:23,884
OH. OH, RIGHT.
235
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:28,421
THANKS, JIM. I'M, UH, I'M JUST GONNA
GO TO THE BATHROOM. UPSTAIRS.
236
00:11:28,455 --> 00:11:31,892
RIGHT, UPSTAIRS. WHY IS HE
GOING TO THE BATHROOM UPSTAIRS
237
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:34,294
WHEN YOU HAVE ONE DOWNSTAIRS?
238
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:40,200
BECAUSE, UH, WE TRAPPED
A RACCOON IN THERE.
239
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:45,372
YOU DON'T WANT TO PULL
YOUR PANTS DOWN IN THERE.
240
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,107
OKAY. JUST...
241
00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:49,209
(groans)
242
00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:53,046
I'M JUST GONNA...
JUST GONNA...
243
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,449
(moaning in falsetto voice)
244
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:09,029
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
245
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,432
I'M AFRAID.
246
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,467
OF GOING TO THE BATHROOM?
247
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:20,107
UH, YEAH, YEAH. W-WHAT IF
THERE'S ANOTHER RACCOON?
248
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:23,476
COME ON, ANDY, YOU'VE DONE IT
A MILLION TIMES BEFORE.
249
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:26,313
(lowers voice)
NOT ON PURPOSE.
250
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:28,315
COME ON.
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES,
251
00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:31,885
GRIT YOUR TEETH
AND PUSH THROUGH IT.
252
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:34,354
WOW. WHAT DID YOU GUYS
HAVE FOR LUNCH?
253
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,230
NO, NO.
I-I CAN'T DO IT, JIM.
254
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:47,968
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, ANDY.
I'LL... I'LL HELP HIM.
255
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,370
HUH. YOU GUYS ARE
REALLY GOOD FRIENDS.
256
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:53,874
NO. NO. NO. STOP IT.
COME ON, ANDY.
257
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:57,044
NO. NO. NO, QUIT IT. I'M
AFRAID! JUST DO IT! JUST DO IT!
258
00:12:57,077 --> 00:12:59,079
NO! GET OFF OF ME!
(grunts)
259
00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,014
JIM! JIM!
260
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,917
(screaming)
261
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,919
JIM! JIM, ARE YOU OKAY?
262
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:09,122
OHH! OHH!
263
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:12,125
I THINK WE'D BETTER TAKE HIM
TO THE DOCTOR.
264
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:15,462
OH! OH, RIGHT,
I-I KNOW JUST WHERE TO TAKE HIM.
265
00:13:17,898 --> 00:13:19,466
AAH!
266
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,069
OW!
267
00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:24,872
WHY DID YOU MAKE HIM
USE THE BATHROOM UPSTAIRS
268
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:27,607
WHEN YOU GOT ONE DOWNSTAIRS?
269
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:31,178
THANK YOU.
270
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:34,181
OW! OW!
271
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:37,617
STOP SQUAWKIN'.
YOU'LL SCARE YOUR BOY.
272
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:43,556
NOW I THINK THAT YOU NEED
A PHYSICAL THERAPIST.
273
00:13:43,590 --> 00:13:45,558
OOH.
274
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,560
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
PHYSICAL THERAPIST.
275
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:50,931
I NEED MY BASELINE CHECKED.
THANKS, DOC.
276
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,200
CAN I GET A LITTLE P.T.,
TOO, DOC?
277
00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:56,469
I'M IN A LOT OF PAIN STILL.
YOU NEED A THERAPIST, TOO?
278
00:13:56,503 --> 00:13:58,505
NO, ME... ME... ME FIRST.
279
00:13:58,538 --> 00:14:01,108
I DON'T WANT TO GO
AFTER HIM.
280
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:04,044
YOU CONFUSE ME.
281
00:14:06,246 --> 00:14:07,614
OH!
282
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:11,885
I GET TO ALMOST TOUCH BOOBS
UNDER DOCTOR'S ORDERS.
283
00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:16,089
THANK YOU, MY FRIEND,
FOR HURTING ME.
284
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:19,226
DID SOMEONE HERE NEED
SOME PHYSICAL THERAPY?
285
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:22,562
IT WAS THIS GUY.
286
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:25,065
MY NAME IS SVEN.
287
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:28,535
I UNDERSTAND YOU HURT YOURSELF
ON THE STAIRS.
288
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,604
YES, BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
289
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,542
WE'RE GOING TO DO
SOME STRETCHES ON THE FLOOR.
290
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:39,212
OH! (grunts)
THAT WILL FIX YOU RIGHT UP.
291
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:42,249
(grunting)
292
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:48,555
BOY, YOU'RE STRONG. OH!
293
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,457
SHH, SHH, SHH.
294
00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:53,426
NO WORDS.
WE SHOULD HAVE MUSIC.
295
00:14:53,460 --> 00:14:56,496
(slow jazz music playing)
296
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,605
(grunts)
297
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:08,708
AAH! ANDY, HELP ME!
298
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,445
OH, YEAH. SURE THING, JIM.
(grunts)
299
00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:14,614
SMILE.
300
00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:17,717
(laughs)
301
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,421
CAN YOU FEEL IT?
I'M TRYING NOT TO.
302
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:26,293
(Mandy) OH!
(grunts)
303
00:15:26,326 --> 00:15:30,430
JIM, WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY?
ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY?
304
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:34,334
I MIGHT NEED A SHOWER
AND A BOTTLE OF WHISKEY.
305
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,504
DOC SAYS HE'LL BE UP
AND AROUND IN A COUPLE DAYS.
306
00:15:37,537 --> 00:15:41,975
MEANWHILE, I'M UTTERLY UNINJURED
BECAUSE I DIDN'T PLAY FOOTBALL.
307
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:45,278
AAH.
308
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,981
WHICH IS WHY
YOU DESERVE A REWARD.
309
00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:50,117
I BOUGHT DOUGHNUTS.
310
00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,985
OOH!
OOH! AH.
311
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:54,154
I LOVE DOUGHNUTS.
♪ DOUGHNUTS
312
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:55,555
(chuckles)
313
00:15:55,588 --> 00:15:58,291
HERE, CATCH.
314
00:15:58,325 --> 00:16:02,062
(grunts)
315
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:05,165
HA. I WASN'T READY.
316
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,067
(grunts) OHH.
317
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:10,737
UM, AIM FOR MY MOUTH.
318
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,039
OH!
319
00:16:14,174 --> 00:16:16,143
YOU KNOW, THIS IS STRANGE.
320
00:16:16,176 --> 00:16:18,411
YOU KNOW,
THIS MORNING YOU PROMISED ME
321
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,413
THAT YOU WOULDN'T PLAY
SNOW FOOTBALL,
322
00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:23,083
BUT NOW THIS AFTERNOON
YOU'RE ACTING WEIRD
323
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:26,019
AND MOVING FUNNY LIKE...
MAYBE YOU DID.
324
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:29,022
UH... UH, WELL, UH...
325
00:16:29,056 --> 00:16:32,259
(whispers) ANDY, BE CAREFUL.
THIS MAY BE A TRAP.
326
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,729
OH!
327
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,131
AAH.
328
00:16:38,165 --> 00:16:40,500
AAH! OH, WAS THAT
A-A BEAR CLAW?
329
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,369
AND JELLY...
330
00:16:42,402 --> 00:16:45,538
(grunting and whimpering)
331
00:16:45,572 --> 00:16:48,441
STOP. STOP IT!
332
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:52,045
STOP WASTING DOUGHNUTS.
333
00:16:53,846 --> 00:16:56,783
YOU PLAYED FOOTBALL,
DIDN'T YOU?
334
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:58,785
YOU KNOW WHAT?
DAMN RIGHT HE DID.
335
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:01,454
IT WAS HIS DUTY AS A MAN. YOU'RE
GONNA THANK ME LATER FOR IT.
336
00:17:01,488 --> 00:17:04,757
OH,
WHY DON'T I THANK YOU NOW?
337
00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:07,794
I CAUGHT IT.
338
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:10,730
THAT SVEN DOES GOOD WORK.
339
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:14,334
MANDY, MANDY, I... LOOK,
NO, NO, NO, I CAN EXPLAIN.
340
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,303
I DON'T WANT
AN EXPLANATION, OKAY?
341
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,505
IN FACT, I DON'T WANT
TO TALK TO YOU AT ALL.
342
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:21,808
ALL I WANT IS SOME TIME ALONE
TO THINK ABOUT THINGS.
343
00:17:21,841 --> 00:17:23,376
(whimpers)
344
00:17:23,410 --> 00:17:27,347
WELL, SORRY, ANDY.
345
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:42,229
I GOTTA TELL YOU, I KNOW
YOU'RE NEW AT RELATIONSHIPS,
346
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,464
BUT RULE NUMBER THREE...
347
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:50,470
IT'S A BAD SIGN WHEN THEY SAY
THEY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THINGS.
348
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:52,472
OH, GOD.
349
00:17:52,505 --> 00:17:56,709
SEXY MANDY'S DUMPING
PATHETIC ANDY.
350
00:17:56,743 --> 00:17:58,278
MMM.
351
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:02,249
EVENTUALLY, BUT SHE'S OUT
IN THE DRIVEWAY RIGHT NOW.
352
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:04,351
R-REALLY?
MM-HMM.
353
00:18:04,384 --> 00:18:06,453
SHE'S GONNA COME BACK IN HERE
IN A MINUTE
354
00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:11,358
JUST TO MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND
HOW UPSET SHE REALLY IS.
355
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:15,695
OHH. OH, THAT'S GREAT,
'CAUSE I OWE HER AN APOLOGY.
356
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:18,831
ANDY.
(screams)
357
00:18:18,865 --> 00:18:23,670
RULE NUMBER FOUR...
YOU NEVER, EVER APOLOGIZE.
358
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:25,638
IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE.
359
00:18:25,672 --> 00:18:28,341
WELL, THEN WHY ISN'T IT
THE FIRST RULE?
360
00:18:28,375 --> 00:18:31,378
THIS IS HOW YOU HANDLE IT.
361
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,646
WHEN SHE COMES BACK IN HERE,
362
00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:36,416
JUST STARE AT HER.
363
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:39,452
GIVE HER YOUR BEST
CLINT EASTWOOD FACE.
364
00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:42,189
CLINT EASTWOOD?
365
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,191
(imitating Clint Eastwood)
THAT'S RIGHT.
366
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,659
YOU GOTTA BE TOUGH.
367
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:49,229
YOU GOTTA SQUINT
YOUR EYES...
368
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,366
THEN SAY NOTHING.
369
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,635
I DON'T KNOW, JIM.
370
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,370
NOTHING!
371
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:58,771
(normal voice) TRUST ME.
372
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,274
EVENTUALLY, SHE'LL START
FIGHTING WITH HERSELF,
373
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,376
AND YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK.
GET OUTTA HERE.
374
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,778
NO, WAIT A MINUTE.
IF YOU'RE REALLY TOUGH,
375
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,881
SHE'LL APOLOGIZE TO YOU.
OKAY, THAT'S COMPLETELY INSANE.
376
00:19:08,915 --> 00:19:14,321
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. I
DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND JUST HOW UPSET I AM.
377
00:19:16,389 --> 00:19:18,691
(imitating Clint Eastwood)
GO AHEAD, ANDY...
378
00:19:18,725 --> 00:19:21,894
MAKE MY DAY.
379
00:19:25,432 --> 00:19:27,967
(imitating Clint Eastwood)
YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO TALK.
380
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,837
SO TALK.
381
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:34,607
YOU KNOW, I SPECIFICALLY ASKED
YOU NOT TO PLAY SNOW FOOTBALL,
382
00:19:34,641 --> 00:19:36,843
BUT YOU DID IT ANYWAY,
AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED.
383
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:39,212
YOU GOT HURT.
384
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:44,651
I MEAN, TRUE, TRUE,
YOU ARE A GROWN MAN,
385
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,454
AND YOU CAN MAKE
YOUR OWN DECISIONS.
386
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:52,425
IT'S JUST THAT I CARE
ABOUT YOU SO MUCH,
387
00:19:52,459 --> 00:19:55,328
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.
388
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:57,697
I SHOULD JUST LEARN
TO RESPECT YOU
389
00:19:57,730 --> 00:19:59,732
AND NOT TREAT YOU
LIKE A CHILD.
390
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:06,373
OH, IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I'M SORRY.
391
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,281
(clears throat)
392
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:17,650
(imitates Clint Eastwood)
THAT'LL DO.
393
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:19,686
EXCUSE ME?
394
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:21,721
(normal voice)
UH, I MEAN, THANK YOU.
395
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:24,357
THANK YOU, THANK YOU,
THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
396
00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:27,836
I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU. ANDY! COME
ON, DON'T CAVE IN! THAT'S RULE NUMBER FIVE!
397
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:30,930
OH, YEAH, YEAH. NO, NO, NO,
YOU... YOU... YOU SHUT UP, HUH?
398
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:33,266
YOU CLINT YOUR WAY,
I'LL CLINT MINE.
399
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:35,868
OKAY, HONEY, LET'S GET YOU
BACK TO YOUR HOUSE.
400
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:38,405
YOU KNOW, YOU PROBABLY NEED
SOME PHYSICAL THERAPY.
401
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:40,273
OH, YEAH!
402
00:20:40,307 --> 00:20:43,376
I KNOW SOME EXERCISES
I WANT TO SHOW YA.
403
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,816
IDIOT.
404
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:51,050
(knock on door)
405
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,819
DOOR'S OPEN.
406
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,821
HEY, JIM, IT'S ME...
407
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:59,759
YOUR NEW FRIEND SVEN.
408
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:04,564
GOOD NEWS... YOUR INSURANCE
COVERS HOME THERAPY.
409
00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:08,568
I'M FINE! I'M FINE!
I DON'T NEED ANY THERAPY.
410
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,603
LOOK! LOOK! I'M FINE!
411
00:21:12,339 --> 00:21:13,339
AND SO THE GAME BEGINS.
28720
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