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1
00:00:01,072 --> 00:00:03,534
(dance music playing)
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:10,580
OH, LOOK, JIM. THEY'RE PLAYING
THAT STUPID VIDEO GAME AGAIN.
3
00:00:10,581 --> 00:00:12,342
HEY, HEY, GIRLS,
COME ON.
4
00:00:12,343 --> 00:00:15,315
I TOLD YOU THIS GAME IS GONNA
TURN YOUR MIND TO MUSH.
5
00:00:15,316 --> 00:00:19,018
(music stops) OUTSIDE.
YOU SHOULD BE OUTSIDE.
6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,121
OH, MAN, I WAS NEXT.
7
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:24,294
COME ON, GO.
GO CLIMB A TREE.
8
00:00:24,295 --> 00:00:26,626
PLAY IN A PUDDLE,
PUT POO ON A STICK
9
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:29,299
AND CHASE EACH OTHER.
10
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:31,501
ENJOY YOUR YOUTH.
YOU'LL BE DEAD SOON.
11
00:00:31,502 --> 00:00:33,133
(Jim) YEAH.
12
00:00:33,134 --> 00:00:36,306
COME ON, GO HAVE FUN.
13
00:00:36,307 --> 00:00:38,037
YOU'RE GOING DOWN
THIS TIME.
14
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,710
BRING IT ON,
FLASHDANCE.
15
00:00:40,711 --> 00:00:43,714
(music resumes)
16
00:00:52,223 --> 00:00:55,226
♪♪♪
17
00:01:01,132 --> 00:01:05,435
(grinding)
18
00:01:05,436 --> 00:01:10,540
WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
19
00:01:10,541 --> 00:01:12,502
REMEMBER THE MONEY
I WAS SUPPOSED TO SPEND
20
00:01:12,503 --> 00:01:15,175
ON THE INSURANCE POLICY?
I BOUGHT THIS INSTEAD!
21
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:19,379
WHAT... A GRIND-YOUR-OWN-
SAUSAGE MACHINE?
22
00:01:19,380 --> 00:01:21,080
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
23
00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,613
CHECK IT OUT.
WE GOT ALL BEEF, ALL PORK
24
00:01:23,614 --> 00:01:25,615
AND THIS BABY.
OOH, LOOK AT THAT.
25
00:01:25,616 --> 00:01:26,656
UGH!
26
00:01:26,657 --> 00:01:28,588
(laughing)
27
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:31,621
WE GOT FIVE
DIFFERENT ANIMALS IN HERE.
28
00:01:31,622 --> 00:01:34,364
WE CALL IT
"NOAH'S ARK."
29
00:01:34,365 --> 00:01:35,395
(groans)
30
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:37,167
HEY. ALL RIGHT,
LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY.
31
00:01:37,168 --> 00:01:38,598
WE HAVE REALLY, REALLY,
REALLY BIG NEWS. YEAH, WELL,
32
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:40,870
IT'S GOTTA WAIT, 'CAUSE WE'RE
MAKING SAUSAGE HISTORY HERE.
33
00:01:40,871 --> 00:01:42,772
SOME KANGAROO, PLEASE?
34
00:01:42,773 --> 00:01:45,205
WE'RE ALL OUT, BUT I GOT SOME
FISH STICKS. OH, BRING IT, BRING IT OUT.
35
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,537
GUYS, SERIOUSLY, THIS IS
LIFE-CHANGING NEWS HERE.
36
00:01:47,538 --> 00:01:49,809
YEAH. OKAY, READY?
WE ARE GONNA HAVE...
37
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:53,743
(grinding resumes)
38
00:01:53,744 --> 00:01:55,145
(grinding stops)
39
00:01:55,146 --> 00:01:56,716
WE'RE PREGNANT,
YOU CHIMPS.
40
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:58,888
WHAT?
WHOA!
41
00:01:58,889 --> 00:02:00,390
OH, MY GOD!
42
00:02:00,391 --> 00:02:03,323
OH, HONEY!
CONGRATULATIONS!
43
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:04,794
THAT'S TERRIFIC,
HONEY.
44
00:02:04,795 --> 00:02:09,559
YOU KNOCKED UP MY
SISTER. WAY TO GO. OH.
45
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,601
CONGRATULATIONS, DOUG.
YOU TOOK CARE OF BUSINESS.
46
00:02:11,602 --> 00:02:13,663
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
HAD IT IN YOU. (laughs)
47
00:02:13,664 --> 00:02:15,134
I'M PROUD OF YOU!
48
00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,136
HIM? I'M THE ONE
CARRYING THE BABY.
49
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:19,269
HIS PART LASTED A
MINUTE AND A HALF. WHAT?
50
00:02:19,270 --> 00:02:21,871
HONEY, HONEY. BABE, COME ON.
WOW, DOC. A MINUTE AND A HALF.
51
00:02:21,872 --> 00:02:24,514
SETTING THE BAR KIND OF HIGH
FOR THE REST OF US, HUH?
52
00:02:24,515 --> 00:02:26,216
(laughing)
OKAY, HONEY.
53
00:02:26,217 --> 00:02:28,548
YOU HAVE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING.
ARE YOU NAUSEOUS?
54
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:30,780
ARE YOUR BOOBS SORE?
ARE YOU CONSTIPATED, BECAUSE...
55
00:02:30,781 --> 00:02:32,822
CHERYL, CHERYL, CHERYL,
OTHER ROOM, PLEASE. OKAY, OKAY!
56
00:02:32,823 --> 00:02:34,824
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE
THE SAUSAGE SICK.
57
00:02:34,825 --> 00:02:38,828
HEY, DID YOU TELL MOM YET? OH, NO,
I WAS GOING TO CALL HER FROM HERE.
58
00:02:38,829 --> 00:02:40,630
OKAY, CAN I TELL HER?
NO.
59
00:02:40,631 --> 00:02:43,463
COME ON, YOU'RE MARRIED.
MOM'S ALL I GOT.
60
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:46,165
ARE YOU CRAZY?
IT'S MY BABY.
61
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,368
YEAH. GOOD POINT.
I'LL, UH...
62
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:50,370
TAKE THE PHONE AND CALL HER!
63
00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:53,873
HEY, WAIT! (laughing) YEAH!
IT'S THE GEEK'S TURN NOW!
64
00:02:53,874 --> 00:02:57,176
DOUG, YOU KNOW WHAT?
I GOTTA TELL YOU.
65
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,878
I WAS ALL PREPARED
TO HATE DANA'S HUSBAND,
66
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:02,282
BECAUSE I HATE HER SO MUCH,
BUT YOU TURNED OUT TO BE OKAY.
67
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:04,814
WOW. I REALLY
APPRECIATE THAT, JIM,
68
00:03:04,815 --> 00:03:06,786
ESPECIALLY THE KIND WORDS
ABOUT MY PREGNANT WIFE.
69
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,819
AH.
(Andy) AAH! OHH! WHOA, WHOA.
70
00:03:09,820 --> 00:03:12,862
(laughing) SHE'S GIVING
THE BIG GUY A WEDGIE.
71
00:03:12,863 --> 00:03:15,365
IT'S PRETTY FUNNY.
72
00:03:15,366 --> 00:03:18,398
HONEY, I'M TOTALLY
HAVING A GUMMY CRAVING.
73
00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:20,530
DID YOU BRING THEM? YEAH,
YEAH, YEAH. RIGHT HERE, BABE.
74
00:03:20,531 --> 00:03:23,873
OH, GREAT! THANK YOU SO... OH, NO.
THESE AREN'T THE RIGHT ONES.
75
00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:26,536
NO, SURE THEY ARE. THEY'RE THE ONES YOU LOVED
THIS MORNING. NO, THESE GUMMIES ARE DIFFERENT.
76
00:03:26,537 --> 00:03:29,779
SO, CAN YOU GO GET
THE GOOD GUMMIES? OH.
77
00:03:29,780 --> 00:03:32,712
LIKE NOW?
THANK YOU. LOVE YOU.
78
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,213
I LOVE YOU BOTH.
79
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,416
(both speaking baby talk)
80
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:37,517
OKAY.
81
00:03:37,518 --> 00:03:41,921
SO IT BEGINS.
82
00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,893
WHAT?
83
00:03:43,894 --> 00:03:47,297
THE LONGEST NINE MONTHS
OF YOUR LIFE.
84
00:03:47,298 --> 00:03:49,929
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I LOVE THAT WE'RE PREGNANT.
85
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:52,562
BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S YOUR FIRST MISTAKE.
86
00:03:52,563 --> 00:03:53,863
"WE'RE" NOT PREGNANT.
87
00:03:53,864 --> 00:03:56,537
SHE'S PREGNANT,
YOU WORK FOR HER.
88
00:03:57,968 --> 00:04:00,410
THE PAY SUCKS,
YOUR BOSS IS NUTS,
89
00:04:00,411 --> 00:04:02,972
AND IF YOU TRY TO QUIT,
THE STATE COMES AFTER YOU.
90
00:04:02,973 --> 00:04:04,944
I DON'T KNOW, JIM.
91
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,376
I MEAN, DANA'S BEEN GREAT.
92
00:04:06,377 --> 00:04:09,579
YEAH, YEAH. WELL, JUST WAIT.
IT'S GONNA GET REALLY BAD.
93
00:04:09,580 --> 00:04:11,921
SEE, YOU GOTTA UNDERSTAND.
WHEN A WOMAN IS PREGNANT,
94
00:04:11,922 --> 00:04:12,982
THEIR HORMONES ARE RACING
THROUGH THEM,
95
00:04:12,983 --> 00:04:15,425
THEY GOT ALL THIS STUFF
GOING ON INSIDE THEM
96
00:04:15,426 --> 00:04:16,856
THAT YOU JUST
CAN'T UNDERSTAND.
97
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:20,330
JIM, I'M A FERTILITY DOCTOR.
98
00:04:20,331 --> 00:04:22,292
YEAH. THAT MEANS YOU WEREN'T
GOOD ENOUGH
99
00:04:22,293 --> 00:04:24,534
TO BE A REAL DOCTOR, RIGHT?
100
00:04:24,535 --> 00:04:25,895
(laughing)
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
101
00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:28,668
I'M JUST SAYING YOU HAVEN'T
LIVED WITH A PREGNANT WOMAN.
102
00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:30,800
AND LET ME TELL YOU,
IT IS HELL.
103
00:04:30,801 --> 00:04:33,503
I MEAN, THEY GET CRAZY,
THEY GET JEALOUS,
104
00:04:33,504 --> 00:04:36,446
THEY GET WHIMPERY,
AND THEN THEY GET REALLY INSANE.
105
00:04:36,447 --> 00:04:39,509
I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN,
DANA'S A PRETTY SENSIBLE GIRL.
106
00:04:39,510 --> 00:04:41,851
YEAH, YEAH.
SO WAS LIZZIE BORDEN.
107
00:04:41,852 --> 00:04:44,013
I'M TELLING YOU,
108
00:04:44,014 --> 00:04:47,517
WHEN SHE WAS PREGNANT,
I WOULD... I WOULD TELL A JOKE,
109
00:04:47,518 --> 00:04:49,759
AND SHE WOULD
JUST BREAK DOWN INTO TEARS
110
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,691
RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME,
AND CALL ME INSENSITIVE.
111
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:55,895
NO OFFENSE, JIM, BUT, UH,
I AM A LITTLE FUNNIER THAN YOU.
112
00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:59,930
YEAH. CAN YOU, UH, OPEN
A BEER BOTTLE WITH YOUR BUTT?
113
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,307
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I'M GONNA BE THERE FOR YOU.
114
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,639
OKAY. QUESTION.
YEAH.
115
00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:10,940
DO I WANT YOU THERE?
116
00:05:10,941 --> 00:05:14,914
YEP, YOU'RE GONNA NEED ME THERE.
SHE'S GONNA RUN YOU RAGGED.
117
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:20,850
AND DON'T FIGHT BACK.
NEVER ENGAGE A PREGNANT WOMAN.
118
00:05:20,851 --> 00:05:23,092
NEVER.
NEVER ENGAGE WITH...
119
00:05:23,093 --> 00:05:26,095
YOU SHOULD NEVER FIGHT WITH THEM
FOR THE WHOLE NINE MONTHS
120
00:05:26,096 --> 00:05:28,858
AND THEN 40 DAYS AFTER.
121
00:05:28,859 --> 00:05:30,900
BUT ON DAY 41...
122
00:05:30,901 --> 00:05:33,102
HA HA.
123
00:05:33,103 --> 00:05:34,964
I MEAN, YOU CAN IF YOU WANT,
124
00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:38,708
BUT WHAT'S THE COMEBACK TO
"I GOT A LIFE INSIDE OF ME"?
125
00:05:38,709 --> 00:05:42,011
(Dana) HONEY, HAVE YOU LEFT YET
FOR OUR GUMMIES?
126
00:05:42,012 --> 00:05:43,112
OH, NOT YET, BABE.
127
00:05:43,113 --> 00:05:46,817
IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THE CAR?
128
00:05:51,922 --> 00:05:54,955
TAKE MY NUMBER.
I'M A 3-TIMER.
129
00:06:01,932 --> 00:06:05,134
OKAY, HERE YOU GO.
DANA'S SPECIAL CHOCOLATE MILK.
130
00:06:05,135 --> 00:06:06,996
(sighs)
I THINK I GOT IT RIGHT.
131
00:06:06,997 --> 00:06:08,398
FOURTH TIME
IS THE CHARM.
132
00:06:08,399 --> 00:06:11,841
OKAY. DID YOU USE A SPOONFUL
OF THE DARK CHOCOLATE,
133
00:06:11,842 --> 00:06:13,903
A PINCH OF THE MALTED
AND A SMIDGE OF EXTRA CALCIUM?
134
00:06:13,904 --> 00:06:15,905
SPOONFUL,
PINCH, SMIDGE.
135
00:06:15,906 --> 00:06:17,948
(sighs) OKAY.
ENJOY.
136
00:06:21,051 --> 00:06:22,682
YEAH.
137
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:23,984
CLOSER...
138
00:06:26,417 --> 00:06:27,517
STILL NOT RIGHT.
139
00:06:27,518 --> 00:06:29,560
OKAY.
140
00:06:32,963 --> 00:06:35,394
WHY DON'T YOU
GO DOWNSTAIRS
141
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,167
AND TAKE A WHACK AT MAKING
THE SPECIAL CHOCOLATE MILK?
142
00:06:38,168 --> 00:06:42,031
BECAUSE I'VE BEEN UP AND DOWN THE STAIRS
FOUR TIMES, BABE. OH, HONEY, I AM SO SORRY
143
00:06:42,032 --> 00:06:45,004
I'VE MADE YOU GO UP AND DOWN
ALL THOSE STAIRS.
144
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:48,007
AH, IT'S PROBABLY... YEAH,
THANKS... SO THAT OUR UNBORN CHILD
145
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:52,081
COULD HAVE THE NUTRITION
HE/SHE NEEDS IN ORDER TO LIVE.
146
00:06:52,082 --> 00:06:58,047
HE/SHE? WHAT, ARE YOU
HAVING A TRANSVESTITE? (laughs)
147
00:06:58,048 --> 00:07:00,990
(clears throat)
148
00:07:00,991 --> 00:07:04,153
WHAT THE HELL
DOES THAT MEAN?
149
00:07:04,154 --> 00:07:06,055
YOU KNOW, I JUST SAW
A SPECIAL ON CABLE
150
00:07:06,056 --> 00:07:07,797
ABOUT A HERMAPHRODITE BABY.
151
00:07:07,798 --> 00:07:09,599
IT WAS CALLED,
"WHO LOVES TERRY?"
152
00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:11,561
AND HE/SHE
HAD NO FRIENDS!
153
00:07:11,562 --> 00:07:15,566
HE/SHE HAD EACH OTHER.
154
00:07:19,169 --> 00:07:22,642
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT MY BODY
155
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,644
IS GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW?
156
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:28,117
WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY REMEMBER
THAT I'M A FERTILITY DOCTOR?
157
00:07:28,118 --> 00:07:30,480
YEAH, OKAY, BABE,
YEAH, ALL RIGHT?
158
00:07:30,481 --> 00:07:32,482
YOUR HORMONES ARE
OBVIOUSLY RAGING. OH!
159
00:07:32,483 --> 00:07:34,884
OKAY, SO,
MR. BIG FERTILITY DOCTOR'S
160
00:07:34,885 --> 00:07:36,886
GOING TO TELL ME
ABOUT MY HORMONES.
161
00:07:36,887 --> 00:07:39,489
I HAPPEN TO HAVE ACED HORMONES
IN MEDICAL SCHOOL.
162
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:43,462
OH YEAH? WELL, I HAVE A LIFE
INSIDE OF ME.
163
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,066
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL BE BACK.
I'VE GOT TO GO TALK TO SOMEBODY.
164
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:48,568
WHO ARE YOU GONNA TALK TO?
THAT NURSE
165
00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:51,571
THAT YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON
WITH THE INTIMIDATING EYEBROWS?
166
00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:55,044
NO. JIM.
AND, MAN, WAS HE RIGHT.
167
00:07:55,045 --> 00:07:58,878
JIM? JIM WAS RIGHT
ABOUT WHAT?
168
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,682
JIM AND I WERE TALKING.
169
00:08:03,253 --> 00:08:07,056
ABOUT PREGNANT WOMEN,
AND HOW THEY'RE...
170
00:08:07,057 --> 00:08:10,721
NOT LIKE NORMAL... HUMANS.
171
00:08:13,824 --> 00:08:17,627
ARE YOU SAYING
THAT I'M NOT... HUMAN?
172
00:08:17,628 --> 00:08:18,968
(pager beeps)
173
00:08:18,969 --> 00:08:22,101
WHO'S THAT CALLING?
IS THAT YOUR SKANK?
174
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,674
NO, IT'S THE HOSPITAL,
ALL RIGHT?
175
00:08:24,675 --> 00:08:27,006
THERE'S A WOMAN IN LABOR.
I HAVE TO DELIVER A BABY.
176
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:32,181
YOU LOVE THAT PATIENT'S BABY
MORE THAN YOU LOVE OUR BABY.
177
00:08:32,182 --> 00:08:35,014
NO, BABE. HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S INSANE.
178
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,687
THEN WHY ARE YOU LEAVING?
179
00:08:37,688 --> 00:08:40,690
BECAUSE I HAVE THIS JOB,
THAT NO ONE SEEMS TO REMEMBER,
180
00:08:40,691 --> 00:08:42,622
WHERE I DELIVER BABIES.
181
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:45,124
WELL, I'M NOT GONNA BE HERE
WHEN YOU GET BACK.
182
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,757
(pager beeps)
183
00:08:47,758 --> 00:08:50,830
LOOK, BABE. LISTEN, I REALLY,
REALLY HAVE TO GO,
184
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,061
BUT HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
185
00:08:52,062 --> 00:08:54,804
THERE'S GUMMY BEARS IN
THE DRAWER IF YOU WANT THEM.
186
00:08:54,805 --> 00:08:56,806
CINNAMON FLAVOR?
187
00:08:56,807 --> 00:08:59,008
THEY DON'T MAKE...
188
00:08:59,009 --> 00:09:01,070
OH! YOU DON'T LOVE ME!
189
00:09:01,071 --> 00:09:03,013
(sobbing)
190
00:09:07,117 --> 00:09:09,118
SO, HE REALLY SAID
191
00:09:09,119 --> 00:09:11,881
HE LOVED A PATIENT'S BABY
MORE THAN YOURS?
192
00:09:11,882 --> 00:09:14,223
YES. WORD FOR WORD.
193
00:09:14,224 --> 00:09:18,057
OH. AND THEN HE SAID THAT I
DIDN'T DESERVE CHOCOLATE MILK
194
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,059
BECAUSE I'M
A FAT TRANSVESTITE.
195
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,891
(sobs)
196
00:09:21,892 --> 00:09:24,664
MEN GET SO WEIRD
WHEN WE'RE PREGNANT.
197
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,235
I KNOW.
198
00:09:26,236 --> 00:09:29,298
(gasps) YOU!
199
00:09:29,299 --> 00:09:30,900
IT WAS YOU!
200
00:09:30,901 --> 00:09:33,072
(Jim) I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!
201
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,905
YOU FILLED MY HUSBAND'S HEAD
WITH YOUR CRAP.
202
00:09:35,906 --> 00:09:38,948
ALL RIGHT, I DID DO THAT.
203
00:09:38,949 --> 00:09:42,882
DO YOU THINK PREGNANT
WOMEN ARE NUTS? WHAT? I... WHAT?
204
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,054
DID IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU
THAT MAYBE WE'RE NOT NUTS?
205
00:09:45,055 --> 00:09:47,657
THAT MAYBE YOU'RE
ALL INSENSITIVE?
206
00:09:47,658 --> 00:09:49,919
(stammers)
WAIT A MINUTE.
207
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,922
I KNOW BETTER
NOT TO ENGAGE IN THIS.
208
00:09:52,923 --> 00:09:55,164
(chuckles)
I'M GONNA MOVE IN WITH ANDY.
209
00:09:55,165 --> 00:09:57,667
SEE YOU IN A COUPLE
OF MONTHS.
210
00:09:57,668 --> 00:09:59,598
MEN HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT IT'S LIKE.
211
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:01,631
NO, THEY COULDN'T HANDLE
BEING PREGNANT FOR FIVE MINUTES.
212
00:10:01,632 --> 00:10:03,032
NO.
WHAT WAS THAT?
213
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:05,134
WHAT WAS...
WHAT WAS THAT?
214
00:10:05,135 --> 00:10:06,836
THEY'RE NOT TOUGH ENOUGH.
215
00:10:06,837 --> 00:10:08,938
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I SAID IT.
216
00:10:08,939 --> 00:10:10,780
ARE YOU TELLING ME
217
00:10:10,781 --> 00:10:12,982
THAT CLINT EASTWOOD
ISN'T TOUGH ENOUGH? OH.
218
00:10:12,983 --> 00:10:15,314
THAT... THAT GENERAL PATTON
COULDN'T HAVE A BABY?
219
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,916
I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW,
220
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:19,789
DICK BUTKUS COULD HAVE
A BABY AT HALFTIME,
221
00:10:19,790 --> 00:10:24,093
GO OUT IN THE SECOND HALF,
KICK ASS WHILE HE BREAST-FED.
222
00:10:24,094 --> 00:10:26,625
MEN AREN'T TOUGH ENOUGH...
OKAY, WHO'S CRAZY?
223
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:31,901
COME ON, CHERYL, PLEASE.
PREGNANCY ISN'T THAT HARD.
224
00:10:31,902 --> 00:10:34,003
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
OKAY, WHAT ABOUT LABOR?
225
00:10:34,004 --> 00:10:35,304
LABOR.
YES!
226
00:10:35,305 --> 00:10:37,937
SERIOUSLY, DO YOU
GET PAID FOR IT?
227
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:41,210
WE SHOULD. WELL, YEAH,
I WISH I HAD THAT JOB.
228
00:10:41,211 --> 00:10:43,212
I'D LIKE TO BE PREGNANT.
229
00:10:43,213 --> 00:10:46,215
I'D LIKE TO STAY HOME ALL DAY
AND PLAY WITH MY BIG BOOBS.
230
00:10:46,216 --> 00:10:49,178
OH, CHERYL, THIS IS TERRIBLE.
NOW I'M A SINGLE MOTHER.
231
00:10:49,179 --> 00:10:51,220
I'M ALL ALONE.
WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
232
00:10:51,221 --> 00:10:54,223
OH, HONEY, YOU ARE GONNA STAY
HERE TONIGHT AND EVERY NIGHT
233
00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:55,985
UNTIL YOU FEEL BETTER.
234
00:10:55,986 --> 00:10:58,427
NO, NO, NO, NO, WHOA, WHOA,
WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE.
235
00:10:58,428 --> 00:11:00,930
I DID THE PREGNANCY WARS
ALREADY, ALL RIGHT?
236
00:11:00,931 --> 00:11:02,231
I DID THREE TOURS OF DUTY.
237
00:11:02,232 --> 00:11:04,233
YOU'RE NOT SENDING ME OUT
ON ANOTHER TOUR.
238
00:11:04,234 --> 00:11:06,035
ALL RIGHT. WELL, THEN,
239
00:11:06,036 --> 00:11:07,296
YOU BETTER TALK
SOME SENSE INTO RYAN,
240
00:11:07,297 --> 00:11:08,998
OR GET USED
TO THE AIR RAID SIREN.
241
00:11:08,999 --> 00:11:11,070
WHAT AIR RAID SIREN?
242
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,942
HONEY, I THINK
YOU'RE STARTING TO SHOW.
243
00:11:12,943 --> 00:11:16,005
(wails)
244
00:11:16,006 --> 00:11:17,947
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
245
00:11:17,948 --> 00:11:19,408
I GET IT, I GET IT,
I GET IT. OKAY.
246
00:11:19,409 --> 00:11:21,110
I'LL TALK TO RYAN.
247
00:11:21,111 --> 00:11:22,082
HEY, DANA...
248
00:11:22,083 --> 00:11:23,252
WHAT?
249
00:11:23,253 --> 00:11:24,854
STRETCH MARKS.
250
00:11:24,855 --> 00:11:26,756
(wailing)
251
00:11:26,757 --> 00:11:29,920
OH, HONEY, HONEY, HONEY.
252
00:11:31,121 --> 00:11:33,723
EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME,
I NEED TO...
253
00:11:33,724 --> 00:11:37,066
EXCUSE ME. HEY. I, UH,
254
00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:40,069
I-I NEED TO SEE
DR. GIBSON IMMEDIATELY.
255
00:11:40,070 --> 00:11:41,370
HE IS DELIVERING
A BABY RIGHT NOW.
256
00:11:41,371 --> 00:11:43,372
GREAT. JUST SHOW ME
TO THE DELIVERY ROOM
257
00:11:43,373 --> 00:11:46,106
AND TOSS ME
ONE OF THOSE MASKS.
258
00:11:47,237 --> 00:11:52,341
YOU HAVE
VERY INTIMIDATING EYEBROWS.
259
00:11:52,342 --> 00:11:54,344
I SUGGEST YOU TAKE A SEAT.
260
00:11:59,089 --> 00:12:00,390
I-I'M DOING IT.
261
00:12:04,995 --> 00:12:06,295
OKAY, OKAY, I...
262
00:12:06,296 --> 00:12:09,058
I-I HAD THEM LOWER
THE THERMOSTAT, HONEY.
263
00:12:09,059 --> 00:12:10,499
IT'LL GET COOLER SOON.
264
00:12:10,500 --> 00:12:12,762
BUT THE SMELL IS STILL AWFUL.
265
00:12:12,763 --> 00:12:14,864
I NEED YOU TO CHANGE
THE SMELL IN HERE.
266
00:12:14,865 --> 00:12:18,307
(laughs) WELL, THERE'S ONLY
ONE WAY I CAN CHANGE THE SMELL,
267
00:12:18,308 --> 00:12:20,439
AND YOU'VE NEVER LIKED
THAT ONE BEFORE.
268
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,973
THAT WAS SO INSENSITIVE.
269
00:12:23,974 --> 00:12:27,116
IT WAS. IT REALLY WAS,
AND I AM SORRY, SO SORRY.
270
00:12:27,117 --> 00:12:30,120
(under breath) I THOUGHT
IT WAS VERY FUNNY.
271
00:12:35,085 --> 00:12:38,088
(sighs)
272
00:12:42,392 --> 00:12:44,994
THE DOCTOR
WILL SEE YOU NOW.
273
00:12:44,995 --> 00:12:46,937
OH, OKAY.
274
00:12:51,171 --> 00:12:54,503
(grunts)
275
00:12:54,504 --> 00:12:55,875
HOW ARE YOU FEELING?
276
00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:58,047
OH, I CAN'T COMPLAIN.
277
00:12:58,048 --> 00:13:00,449
SUMMER'S ALMOST HERE,
THE CUBS ARE ON A ROLL,
278
00:13:00,450 --> 00:13:03,052
I GOT A LIFE INSIDE OF ME.
279
00:13:03,053 --> 00:13:07,057
YOU HAVE GOT TO DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THE SMELL IN HERE.
280
00:13:13,223 --> 00:13:15,224
WOW. DOWNTOWN
LOOKS REALLY GOOD.
281
00:13:15,225 --> 00:13:17,566
YEAH?
YEAH.
282
00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:19,198
HOW'S THE BREAST TENDERNESS?
283
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:21,470
OOH! STILL TENDER.
YEAH, YEAH.
284
00:13:21,471 --> 00:13:24,433
AND YOU KNOW, CHERYL CAN'T
KEEP HER HANDS OFF THEM NOW.
285
00:13:24,434 --> 00:13:25,935
AND WHERE IS CHERYL,
YOU KNOW?
286
00:13:25,936 --> 00:13:27,236
I THOUGHT FOR SURE
SHE'D BE HERE THIS TIME.
287
00:13:27,237 --> 00:13:30,079
OH, PLEASE, I DON'T NEED CHERYL
TO HOLD MY HAND.
288
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,041
JUST PUT THE KID
UP ON A TV SCREEN.
289
00:13:32,042 --> 00:13:33,112
I'VE GOT TO GET BACK
TO WORK.
290
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:36,116
I GOT TO LAY DOWN
A FOUNDATION TODAY.
291
00:13:37,948 --> 00:13:40,950
OOH, THAT'S COLD,
THAT'S COLD.
292
00:13:40,951 --> 00:13:42,421
WHEW. HEY,
293
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:46,025
CAN WE WATCH MY LUNCH DIGEST?
I JUST HAD A BURRITO,
294
00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:48,828
I BET THERE'LL BE FIREWORKS
IN THERE.
295
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:55,064
WOW, EVERYTHING LOOKS
REALLY GOOD, JIM.
296
00:13:55,065 --> 00:13:57,066
YOU WANT TO KNOW THE SEX?
297
00:13:57,067 --> 00:13:59,138
I CAN TELL BY LOOKING
AT THE SCREEN.
298
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,870
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON.
299
00:14:00,871 --> 00:14:02,371
(laughs)
300
00:14:02,372 --> 00:14:05,975
OH, MY GOD, I'M GOING
TO HAVE A BOY.
301
00:14:05,976 --> 00:14:10,980
OH, YOU JUST HOLD TIGHT THERE,
LITTLE FELLA.
302
00:14:10,981 --> 00:14:13,883
YOU'RE GONNA BE OUT SOON,
AND I'LL BE HOLDING YOU,
303
00:14:13,884 --> 00:14:17,056
AND I'LL TAKE YOU
TO YOUR FIRST BALL GAME.
304
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:20,389
HEY, HEY, HEY.
(sniffles)
305
00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:23,192
COME ON. I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M BLUBBERING LIKE THIS.
306
00:14:23,193 --> 00:14:25,164
I'M ACTING LIKE A CHICK.
HEY.
307
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:28,637
IT'S PRETTY WEIRD.
308
00:14:28,638 --> 00:14:31,040
(scoffs) LIKE A WOMAN
COULD HANDLE THIS.
309
00:14:31,041 --> 00:14:32,572
(chuckles)
PLEASE.
310
00:14:34,144 --> 00:14:36,645
LOOK, I WANT TO TELL YOU
SOMETHING.
311
00:14:36,646 --> 00:14:38,877
EVERY PREGNANT GUY
GOES THROUGH THIS.
312
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:40,910
ALL RIGHT?
THAT'S YOUR HORMONES.
313
00:14:40,911 --> 00:14:42,281
JIM, YOU'RE DOING GREAT.
314
00:14:42,282 --> 00:14:43,983
I AM DOING GREAT!
YES, YOU ARE.
315
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:47,016
I AM. I AM.
316
00:14:47,017 --> 00:14:50,019
I REALLY AM, AREN'T I?
317
00:14:50,020 --> 00:14:52,022
I AM DOING A GREAT JOB.
318
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,624
I'M WORKING REALLY HARD.
SHH.
319
00:14:55,625 --> 00:14:57,998
IT'S OKAY.
320
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:05,504
(door thuds)
321
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:08,677
YOUR BABY'S FINE,
BY THE WAY.
322
00:15:08,678 --> 00:15:10,980
OH, HONEY, I-I'M SORRY
I COULDN'T MAKE IT.
323
00:15:10,981 --> 00:15:13,082
DANA CAME BY AND...
SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH.
324
00:15:13,083 --> 00:15:14,413
YOUR SON DOESN'T WANT
TO HEAR IT.
325
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,246
OH! WE'RE HAVING A BOY!
326
00:15:17,247 --> 00:15:19,248
I'M HAVING A BOY.
327
00:15:19,249 --> 00:15:22,992
YOU'RE HAVING
A 3-BEAN SALAD.
328
00:15:22,993 --> 00:15:26,095
I'LL BE IN THE GARAGE
REHEARSING WITH THE BAND.
329
00:15:26,096 --> 00:15:27,256
OH, JIM, HONEY,
330
00:15:27,257 --> 00:15:29,598
I-I GOT YOU THOSE CHIPS
YOU'VE BEEN CRAVING, HUH?
331
00:15:29,599 --> 00:15:31,100
SALT AND VINEGAR?
332
00:15:31,101 --> 00:15:33,262
I DON'T LIKE SALT AND VINEGAR
CHIPS. NO, BUT... BUT YOU...
333
00:15:33,263 --> 00:15:35,034
I DON'T LIKE
SALT AND VINEGAR CHIPS.
334
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:37,036
YOU MUST BE THINKING
ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE.
335
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:38,607
YOU MUST BE THINKING
ABOUT THAT STOCK BOY
336
00:15:38,608 --> 00:15:41,670
AT THE MARKET, THE HANDSOME ONE.
WHAT'S HIS NAME? JULIO.
337
00:15:41,671 --> 00:15:43,113
OH, JIM.
338
00:15:45,115 --> 00:15:46,415
HEY, JIM.
WHAT?
339
00:15:46,416 --> 00:15:49,048
VARICOSE VEINS.
340
00:15:49,049 --> 00:15:52,152
(wailing)
341
00:15:56,556 --> 00:15:58,557
(playing harmonica)
342
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,089
ALL RIGHT, GUYS,
LISTEN UP.
343
00:16:00,090 --> 00:16:03,432
(sighing)
344
00:16:03,433 --> 00:16:06,095
ALL RIGHT. WHAT SONG
DO YOU WANT TO PLAY?
345
00:16:06,096 --> 00:16:10,139
SHH, PLEASE. I JUST GOT
APPLE ASLEEP, OKAY?
346
00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:12,441
IF SHE DOESN'T HAVE HER NAP,
SHE'S A TERROR.
347
00:16:12,442 --> 00:16:14,543
OH, COME ON, ANDY. WE'VE GOT
BAND PRACTICE HERE.
348
00:16:14,544 --> 00:16:17,146
WE'RE GONNA BE PLAYING MUSIC.
IT'S GONNA GET LOUD IN HERE.
349
00:16:17,147 --> 00:16:19,608
WELL, THEN, CAN WE PLAY "WHEELS
ON THE BUS GO ROUND AND ROUND"?
350
00:16:19,609 --> 00:16:21,080
I LOVE THAT SONG.
351
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:22,411
LET'S DO IT!
ALL RIGHT.
352
00:16:22,412 --> 00:16:25,414
WHOA, WHOA, HOLD ON, FELLAS.
I GOTTA GO TAKE A LEAK.
353
00:16:25,415 --> 00:16:27,256
JUNIOR'S PLAYING SOCCER
WITH MY BLADDER. (groans)
354
00:16:27,257 --> 00:16:29,188
ALL RIGHT, WELL,
HURRY UP.
355
00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:31,420
CHARLIE, WILL YOU RUB MY BACK?
IT'S KILLING ME.
356
00:16:31,421 --> 00:16:34,293
OH, YOUR SCIATICA?
NO, JUST MY BACK.
357
00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:37,026
COULD YOU RUB MY BACK
WHILE HE'S RUBBING YOUR BACK?
358
00:16:37,027 --> 00:16:39,628
YOU GOT A WIFE TO RUB YOUR
BACK. OH, CHERYL, PLEASE.
359
00:16:39,629 --> 00:16:41,600
SHE DIDN'T EVEN COME FOR THE
SONOGRAM TODAY. (together) WHAT?
360
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,032
OH, TYPICAL.
361
00:16:43,033 --> 00:16:45,404
WOMEN. THEY'RE THERE
WHEN YOU'RE MIXING THE BATTER,
362
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:47,005
BUT WHERE ARE THEY WHEN
YOU'RE BAKING THE CAKE? YEAH.
363
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,408
ALL RIGHT, FELLAS,
LET'S ROCK THIS...
364
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:53,011
OH, DAMN. I GOTTA
GO AGAIN. OH, JEEZ.
365
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:56,014
YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET CHERYL.
YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET THE WOMEN.
366
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:59,088
WE DON'T NEED THE WOMEN.
WE'RE MEN. WE'RE STRONG ENOUGH.
367
00:16:59,089 --> 00:17:00,449
WE CAN DO IT OURSELVES.
OF COURSE.
368
00:17:00,450 --> 00:17:02,191
I-I DON'T KNOW, FELLAS.
369
00:17:02,192 --> 00:17:05,054
MAN, LIFE'S BEEN HELL
SINCE MY BABY'S MAMA TOOK OFF.
370
00:17:05,055 --> 00:17:08,197
NOW IT'S JUST APPLE AND ME
AGAINST THE WORLD.
371
00:17:08,198 --> 00:17:10,028
OH, BOY. HERE COME
THE WATERWORKS.
372
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,461
OH.
(baby crying)
373
00:17:12,462 --> 00:17:14,603
OH, ARE YOU HUNGRY, SWEETIE?
374
00:17:14,604 --> 00:17:17,806
OKAY, DADDY'S GONNA FILL YOU
RIGHT UP, ALL RIGHT?
375
00:17:17,807 --> 00:17:19,808
COME HERE.
376
00:17:19,809 --> 00:17:26,175
OH, EASY. OH, MAN,
MY MAN-MARIES ARE KILLING ME.
377
00:17:26,176 --> 00:17:31,049
HAVE YOU SEEN ANYTHING MORE
BEAUTIFUL IN YOUR LIFE? MNH-MNH. NO.
378
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,423
OH, JEEZ, ANDY. DO YOU
HAVE TO DO THAT IN HERE?
379
00:17:34,424 --> 00:17:36,355
I PARK MY CAR IN HERE.
380
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:40,058
JIM, WHAT ARE THESE?
381
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:43,092
THESE? OH, THESE ARE
MY NEW PATERNITY CLOTHES.
382
00:17:43,093 --> 00:17:44,793
UH-HUH.
YOU LIKE 'EM?
383
00:17:44,794 --> 00:17:46,765
HUH? THE OTHER ONES
WOULDN'T FIT.
384
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:49,268
OH, I LOVE
THAT SILK PANEL.
385
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,369
UH-HUH.
386
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:53,502
WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG NOW?
387
00:17:53,503 --> 00:17:56,675
WELL, NOTHING, JIM. IT'S JUST...
YOU'RE BUYING ALL THESE CLOTHES
388
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,677
YOU'RE ONLY GONNA WEAR
FOR A MONTH.
389
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,450
CHERYL, I WANT TO LOOK NICE.
IS THAT A CRIME?
390
00:18:01,451 --> 00:18:06,115
OH, JIM, I MEAN, COME ON.
A-A BEARS PATERNITY JERSEY?
391
00:18:06,116 --> 00:18:07,586
ADORABLE!
HEY.
392
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:11,190
SERIOUSLY, WHEN ARE YOU
EVER GONNA WEAR THIS AGAIN?
393
00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:14,163
WELL, WHAT IF IT TAKES SOME TIME
TO GET MY BABY WEIGHT OFF?
394
00:18:14,164 --> 00:18:16,765
WELL, JIM, HOW LONG'S
THAT GONNA TAKE?
395
00:18:16,766 --> 00:18:18,827
(all gasping)
396
00:18:18,828 --> 00:18:22,871
CHERYL, THAT IS SO
INSENSITIVE OF YOU. OH.
397
00:18:22,872 --> 00:18:24,703
CHERYL, I GOT A LIFE
GOING ON IN HERE, ALL RIGHT?
398
00:18:24,704 --> 00:18:26,835
I'VE GOT A MIRACLE
GOING ON IN THIS BELLY.
399
00:18:26,836 --> 00:18:28,807
YES, I KNOW, HONEY.
IT'S A MIRACLE.
400
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,779
A MIRACLE
THAT HAS LITERALLY HAPPENED
401
00:18:30,780 --> 00:18:32,411
TO EVERY PERSON
THAT'S EVER LIVED.
402
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:33,882
IT'S QUITE AN EXCLUSIVE CLUB.
403
00:18:33,883 --> 00:18:35,744
(all gasp)
404
00:18:35,745 --> 00:18:39,117
OH, WOULD YOU
KNOCK IT OFF? CHERYL...
405
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,850
I WISH YOU COULD BE PREGNANT
FOR JUST FIVE MINUTES,
406
00:18:41,851 --> 00:18:44,323
AND THEN YOU WOULD SEE
WHAT IT'S LIKE... (gasps)
407
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:47,256
OH, MY GOD. MY
WATER BROKE! WHAT?
408
00:18:47,257 --> 00:18:49,458
I'M IN LABOR!
(cheering)
409
00:18:49,459 --> 00:18:52,901
I WANT THE EPIDURAL!
I WANT THE EPIDURAL!
410
00:18:52,902 --> 00:18:56,505
MY WATER BROKE. I'M IN LABOR.
I WANT AN EPIDURAL, CHERYL.
411
00:18:56,506 --> 00:18:58,607
JIM.
I WANT AN EPIDURAL!
412
00:18:58,608 --> 00:19:01,340
HEY, JIM! JIM.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
413
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:02,511
WHAT?
414
00:19:02,512 --> 00:19:03,842
ARE YOU OKAY?
415
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:05,845
(inhales sharply)
416
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:11,320
I'M FINE.
417
00:19:11,321 --> 00:19:14,323
I'M FINE! BUT, RYAN,
YOU'RE NOT.
418
00:19:14,324 --> 00:19:16,525
NO, NO, RYAN, YOU'VE
GOTTA GO BACK TO MY HOUSE,
419
00:19:16,526 --> 00:19:18,827
AND YOU GOTTA TAKE CARE
OF THE MOTHER OF YOUR CHILD,
420
00:19:18,828 --> 00:19:20,859
DAMN IT. AND YOU. YOU, SIR,
421
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,592
YOU HAVE GOT TO FIX
THE SMELL IN THIS ROOM FOR HER.
422
00:19:23,593 --> 00:19:26,895
AND NO MORE STUPID JOKES.
YOU SAID IT WAS FUNNY.
423
00:19:26,896 --> 00:19:29,498
YEAH, THAT WAS FUNNY.
424
00:19:29,499 --> 00:19:33,672
FROM NOW ON, THE PREGNANT WOMAN
IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
425
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,744
AND THAT INCLUDES ME!
426
00:19:35,745 --> 00:19:37,876
COME ON, LET'S GET BACK
TO THE HOUSE.
427
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,348
ALL RIGHT!
428
00:19:39,349 --> 00:19:40,849
HERE WE ARE.
429
00:19:40,850 --> 00:19:42,911
I'VE GOT 50 DIFFERENT KINDS
OF GUMMY BEARS
430
00:19:42,912 --> 00:19:44,883
AND EVERY KIND OF CHOCOLATE
THAT THEY MAKE.
431
00:19:44,884 --> 00:19:46,515
JIM, WHAT'S ALL THIS?
432
00:19:46,516 --> 00:19:49,388
THIS IS THE NUTRITION
THAT OUR BABY NEEDS.
433
00:19:49,389 --> 00:19:51,220
HEY, HEY!
434
00:19:51,221 --> 00:19:53,662
RYAN, COME ON.
GET IN HERE. LET'S GO.
435
00:19:53,663 --> 00:19:56,925
(bells jingling)
OH!
436
00:19:56,926 --> 00:19:58,967
LOOK, I'M REALLY,
REALLY SORRY, DANA.
437
00:19:58,968 --> 00:20:01,370
(whispering) NOT... NO, NO, NO,
THAT'S NOT HOW IT GOES.
438
00:20:01,371 --> 00:20:03,372
YOU DO IT DIFFERENT. GO ON.
I DON'T... WHAT'S DIFFERENT...
439
00:20:03,373 --> 00:20:04,433
DO YOU LOVE YOUR BABY?
YEAH.
440
00:20:04,434 --> 00:20:06,705
WELL, JUST DO IT!
(sighs)
441
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:10,339
(imitating cartoon voice)
I'M SORRY, DANA.
442
00:20:10,340 --> 00:20:13,982
I HAVE A BELL AROUND MY NECK,
AND I WANT YOU TO RING IT
443
00:20:13,983 --> 00:20:16,885
WHENEVER YOU NEED ANYTHING.
AND YOUR HUSBAND...
444
00:20:16,886 --> 00:20:18,887
(normal voice)
THE FERTILITY DOCTOR...
445
00:20:18,888 --> 00:20:21,750
(resumes cartoon voice)
WILL COME RUNNING RIGHT AWAY.
446
00:20:21,751 --> 00:20:24,453
AND? AND?
447
00:20:24,454 --> 00:20:26,455
AND I ALSO FOUND OUT
448
00:20:26,456 --> 00:20:29,998
THAT NURSE EYEBROWS
IS A LESBIAN.
449
00:20:29,999 --> 00:20:31,700
(Dana clapping)
450
00:20:31,701 --> 00:20:34,833
PLEASE COME HOME. OH,
OF COURSE I'LL COME HOME.
451
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,736
OH, LOOK AT THAT,
WILL YOU?
452
00:20:37,737 --> 00:20:43,011
YOUNG LOVE WARMS
THE COCKLES OF MY HEART.
453
00:20:43,012 --> 00:20:45,714
WHO ARE YOU?
454
00:20:45,715 --> 00:20:47,676
AND WHERE WERE YOU
WHEN I WAS PREGNANT?
455
00:20:47,677 --> 00:20:51,520
YOU KNOW, I COULD ASK YOU
THE SAME QUESTION.
456
00:20:51,521 --> 00:20:53,552
WHAT... JIM, I'M BEING SERIOUS
HERE... SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH!
457
00:20:53,553 --> 00:20:58,958
(stammers) IT'S
DANA'S TIME NOW. OH.
458
00:20:59,959 --> 00:21:01,930
THAT'S IT, PRECIOUS.
459
00:21:01,931 --> 00:21:05,634
YOU EAT IT UP.
DADDY'S GOT PLENTY.
460
00:21:05,635 --> 00:21:09,538
ANDY, WHAT... WHAT
THE HELL WAS... WHAT IS THAT?
461
00:21:09,539 --> 00:21:10,699
MY SWEET LITTLE BABY.
462
00:21:10,700 --> 00:21:11,940
WHAT?
EVERYBODY,
463
00:21:11,941 --> 00:21:15,404
SAY HI TO APPLE.
464
00:21:15,405 --> 00:21:16,975
OH...
(laughing)
465
00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,947
I NAMED HER APPLE,
466
00:21:18,948 --> 00:21:22,351
'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA JAM
IN HER MOUTH WHEN I COOK HER.
467
00:21:22,352 --> 00:21:25,414
(together) AW!
468
00:21:25,415 --> 00:21:28,418
FATTEN UP, LITTLE PRETTY.
OH.
34833
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