All language subtitles for You.Can.Call.Me.Bill.2023.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

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When you take away the mask,

what is there to boldly go into?

Boldly go into your life.

Live your life fully, passionately.

We all have our loves

and what a miracle that is on this planet.

I'm afraid of being alone.

Everything loves.

Every living thing loves.

What's your legacy?

What are you leaving behind?

Good deeds.

Also a tree

I've always had dogs in my adult life.

In my childhood, my parents
wouldn't let me have a dog.

And so I yearned to have a dog

I did have one dog when I
was nine, ten years old.

Parents didn't like it very much

because my father, who was an earnest man

who worked very hard, and thought,

why am I spending money on a dog

when I could be saving it?

I used to come home from school

and climb the fence to our little backyard

where the dog would be
and interact with the dog.

One day I climbed the
fence, there was no dog.

My mother was in the
house, where's the dog?

And she said, reluctantly,
"He's outside, Billy".

And I knew something was
wrong and I ran outside

and there was my beloved
dog, dead on the street,

had been hit by a car.

And I remember gathering the
little ish dog in my arms.

We had stairs to the.

This was a quadruplex.

And underneath those stairs was a space.

There was sunlight and the lattice work

cast a lattice work of light over the dog.

And I was holding the
dog, crooning in pain.

And I lost my dog.

The dog that meant so much
to me as a kid was dead.

I didn't quite understand
what dead was, I think.

But I remember being bewildered.

And finally I buried the dog

I think I must have buried
it under those stairs.

And never got a dog since until
I was married, about 25, 26.

And the first thing I did was get a dog.

They speak to you, dogs speak to you.

Horses speak to you too.

Trees communicate.

There's this fungi network

which the trees are
using like brain stems.

There's a pattern in the
ground for a lattice work

I'd like to think there's a
lattice work in the universe.

Everything else has a structure.

Why wouldn't there be a structure there?

All these things that took
5 billion years to grow,

to become.

I am working myself up into
an emotional storm here.

It took 5 billion years to
evolve what we see now in nature.

The preciousness of everything,

the snails, the worms, the gnats,

took 5 billion years of exquisite.

Agony?

And the reason I feel so sad about it

is because

extinction is happening so rapidly now

by mankind's own hands, by pollution.

All that is disappearing.

And I'm overwhelmed with it

because we're living in a miracle.

That little brain that got us out of the tree

and invented things, made tools,

also has allowed us to
look up into the sky

and look down in the ground

and realise the miracle
of what we're living in.

The miracle of the universe.

The miracle of the ground.

The miracle.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no

I'm not beaming in.

You said I can make an entrance

with a rocket strapped to my ass

By the time people see what we're filming,

I will have received a
lifetime achievement award,

a rather prestigious one.

And
we are forever in your debt

What do you achieve in a
life that's worth an award?

Save yourself.

Some money.

Whether you're celebrated for your death

and your statue's knocked
down 50 years later.

It's what he would've wanted.

Or you died in battle and were buried

in an unmarked grave.

It really doesn't matter
'cause it's all over so soon.

So the occasion of your
death is meaningless.

You're one of billions upon billions

who lived and died on Earth.

So I thought about that quite a bit

and the only answer I
came up with is this.

In my life.

So I was born in Montreal

and when I was six years of age,

I was at a camp in the
Laurentian Mountains,

city boy going for two
weeks into the woods,

and the camp put on a play
and I was in the play.

And something they had
written for me that I said

caused the audience to cry.

This is about Willie.

Zero hour

And I was bitten by the the bug.

And I'm gonna be high.

Maybe it was communication,

maybe it was, wow, I made people cry

I'll try and make them laugh.

And that was a lifetime.

He died of a heart attack on stage.

That's what he died.

That's the way I wanna go.

Not tonight.

That's the story of my life.

Nothing there particularly
to get an award for

I just did what any actor was doing,

to one degree or another.

But what I did do, somewhat consciously,

was take care of the inner child.

That curious baby

who looked around and said,

"Why is the sky blue?"

Do worms have eyes?

What are they doing under the ground?

Why are we here?

Is there a god?

"What happens after death?"

We ask ourselves questions.

Why?

Excuse me, I'd just like to ask a question.

What does God need with a Starship?

Will we reach New York all right now?

Are we gonna live in the east?

Are we gonna live in the west?

Are we gonna live in this country?

And then.

As you get a job and you get
married or you have children,

and life's exigencies prey on you,

and that curiosity is generally
beaten out of you in school,

in life, you lose the curiosity.

And that's a shame,

because that curiosity
is what keeps us alive.

Children who never age.

Eternal childhood, filled with
play, no responsibilities.

It's almost like a dream

I wouldn't examine
that dream too closely.

It might not turn out to be very pretty.

It's the search for love that
sends everybody in motion.

Whether you're searching
for the love of God,

whoever that is, whatever that is,

the love of nature, the
love of a woman or a man,

the love of curiosity,

and I think curiosity is love,

is the fulfilled life.

And I've tried to inculcate
myself to be aware.

To be aware, live in the now
and say, why is that happening?

What is that?

Oh, how interesting.

What do you think?

What's your story?

How do you feel?

And I've been able to do that to a degree

and I'm kind of proud of that.

And if I am to receive
any kind of an award,

it would be for taking
care of my inner child.

I'm a grandfather more than once.

My granddaughter in-law had her family

at this birthday party in the park,

and my family was there

I was looking at like a three layered cake

I'm on the bottom layer
and I'm looking around

and I'm thinking, my
God, I'm outta here soon.

And I hate that phrase.

I'm gonna die soon

I'll never see these babies grow up.

I'll never know what
they're going to become.

We're all connected

I'll come back to this time and time again

because I know nothing.

Our ignorance is so profound.

And the more we know, the
more we realise how stupid

and how egotistical human beings are,

thinking we are the only ones

I don't believe we can stop

I don't believe we're meant to.

Do you wish the first Apollo mission

hadn't reached the moon?

Or we hadn't gone on to Mars
and then the nearest star?

That's like saying you wish

that you still operated with scalpels

and sewed your patients up with cat gut,

like your great great great
great grandfather used to.

Animals very rarely have duplicity.

We are the ones who
are greatly duplicitous

and have the masks up.

The thing that makes me feel a connection

to whatever we call it,

is nature or animals or people.

But you reach a connection
with a horse, that is.

Can be something mystical.

And I think the mysticism
is all in the human feeling,

not of the horse.

The horse is there, oh geez,
he's got on my back again.

But you're thinking
this magnificent animal,

and he and I, or she and I are at one.

Horses live in the now.

So that's the first thing
you learn about horses.

They're here and now.

Live in the now.

So if you are in
communication with that horse,

if you and the horse are
vibrating at the same rate,

that horse.

That horse is and you are
in each other's thrall.

You are mystically bound.

You're at one with the horse,

but you're also at one with the Earth,

you're also at one with the planet.

You're at one with the stars.

You're at one with the sky.

You're at one with the
breeze in your face.

You're at one with, and
this is where we get crazy,

with the creator,
whoever, whatever that is.

He or she or whatever
that is where it started.

You are suddenly at one and It's humbling.

It's like you're there and it's so large,

it's so gigantic.

It may be the answer to
what happens when you die.

It's just, you can't be
egotistical about that.

The ecstasy of that is what brings you

to that cathedral of the
barn where you and the horse

are vibrating on the same.

Whatever that is.

Channel.

And that's the mystique and the mysticism

about being at one with the universe.

And that could be done.

It happened to me in a performance

three weeks before this was being taped.

So fragile.

So blue.

What can we do?

What can we do?

What can we do?

What can we do?

What can we do?

Thank you and goodnight

I was at one with the audience.

For me, with an audience, it
happens with some regularity

I'm there with the audience,
the audience are there with me,

and it's a performance.

And suddenly the silence is palpable.

What do you mean you are
communicating with an audience?

And yet it is.

And it happens enough that
you can repeat the experience.

So there must be something
that we are dimly aware of.

That feeling of being at one is religious.

It's animistic, I think.

And that's where paganism comes in,

where a rock may contain
not a God in our language,

but a spirit.

The tree as a spirit.

People who live close to the earth

realise that these gifts from
the earth need to be thanked.

So whether it's thank you God for this

or for a moment of reflection,

just thank the earth for being what it is.

And that's the sadness.

I have some property in the
foothills of the Sierras

and I was going through some
tough times financially.

The land is on a wild river.

So one day I'm in the wild river naked

and I'm thinking, you know,
I've gotta sell this land

I gotta get the money to sell this land.

And I'm sitting there
naked and there's a lizard,

and the lizard's going.

And I think, oh my Lord,
the lizard gets its water

by catching droplets from the river.

I can't possibly sell this land

And I didn't.

Come on, let's go

When I was a kid, RKO, which is now CBS,

was turning out westerns by, you know,

I think they made them in a week.

And I loved them

I lived in Montreal just off
of a street called Bunkland.

And there was a Monkland movie theatre.

It's Canada, but it was
right outta middle America.

Have a soda, pay a dime, or
went to a quarter at one point,

where they would play movies all day.

So you could go in and see three movies.

Bambi!

I must have seen "Bambi"
two or three times.

Father came in and picked me up

and I remember hanging onto a railing

'cause I didn't want to go.

He's pulling me off.

"Bambi!"

I was enthralled with movies.

So I think that was a big
part of becoming an actor

I couldn't get enough.

You know, I'm just beginning
to realise now as I talk to you

that those westerns and those horses,

the legend of the American
West, was everything

I rode a great saddle
bred stallion bareback

in a movie we made on Alexander the Great

Alexander was Captain Kirk in 300 BC

I rode bareback, which
is very difficult to do,

at a Gallup, with a sword and a shield

and holding the horse.

And I worked for six months

getting myself ready for that movie.

And that was like everything.

I admire people who go home in the role.

I mean they bring the role home with them.

My actor heroes were
Olivier and Marlon Brando.

Two opposite poles of the
acting rainbow, if you will.

And being Canadian, I was
in between the English

and the American worlds.

So I had long since
learned to learn the words

do the best you can with the character.

My office is next to yours
at the Palace of Justice

if you need anything.

Thank you.

Senator.

And when it was done, you were done

I mean, you're a professional actor.

A carpenter doesn't come home

and try to fix the dining
room table necessarily.

But if you say this character,

he's on a five year mission to discover

and he's filled with awe and wonder

about what he's discovering.

What else do you need to know?

Gentlemen, they're debating in a vacuum.

Let's go get some answers.

Every line then becomes,
wow, look at that,

look at this, look at that

I prefer this.

Double action 357 Magnum,
loaded with hollow points.

T J Hooker, a recalcitrant policeman

who doesn't wanna do all these new things

like read Miranda Rights.

What the hell is that?

They'll tear a six inch hole in you going in

and the Holland Tunnel coming out.

Resist arrest.

Resist arrest, please.

He's a bad guy.

You mean I have to?

For god's sakes.

Okay, I will.

Not of prison.

When a bust does stick, we house 'em,

give 'em colour TV and
their wives on weekends.

If that makes sense to you,

then you and I are about to have a problem

'cause I'm your instructor here

and I love to weed out
airheads and marshmallows.

That the character.

And Denny Crane, like, confused.

Like, I don't quite remember

Denny Crane.

Yes, I know you're Denny Crane.

Why do you always tell me your name?

Is it so you won't forget?

Two wild things that David E Kelly wrote

that I don't even think he knew,

'cause he never offered an explanation.

Two things.

One is he had the character say the name

Denny Crane.

Oh, Denny Crane.

So he'd write out Denny Crane,
Denny Crane, Denny Crane

Denny Crane

I'm ahead of you there.

Denny Crane.

Good for you.

The hell's that mean?

What's he saying?

I had a picture of reptiles
who flick out their tongue

to get a reading on what
the atmosphere is like,

it's said that flicking is not.

That's their nose and their apprehension

of comprehension of their environment.

So Denny Crane, I pictured Denny Crane

Denny Crane.

Eh, Denny Crane.

And getting a reading.

When I say Denny Crane,
what's your reaction?

What's my name?

Denny Crane.

Like you mean it.

Denny Crane.

What's my name?

Denny Crane!

No further questions.

Oh, you know me.

You don't know me

Denny Crane.

Could you just say those two little words

I so long to hear?

Denny Crane.

Thank you.

Then, every so often in the five years

that we did the show, he'd write.

The character would say, "Play the music"

I'd say to the director,
"Do you understand?

Who am I saying play the music?

Do you understand play the".

No, I don't know.

So I'd say play the music

I didn't know what to do with the line.

On the last show, the last season,

he has the character say,

"I think of my life as a TV show."

That's why he's saying play the music.

Cue the music.

So that's the discoveries.

That's the fuel.

And from then you just manoeuvre
the ship anywhere you want.

But you've got an engine going.

Remembering the lines is
an unspoken about skill

Laurence Olivier came on
stage and forgot his lines.

We call it going dry.

In his acceptance speech
for the Academy Award

I remember saying, "What did he say?"

In the great wealth, the great firmament

of your nation's generosities,

this particular choice
may perhaps be found

by future generations
as a trifle eccentric.

But the mere fact of it, the project.

Either that day or days later,

he explained that he didn't
know what he was saying

'cause he was so panicked being
in front of that audience,

he just spoke words.

He made absolutely no sense.

He just strung phrases
that he had remembered

from Shakespeare plays and
anything you could think of.

There's a pen on the desk
and it writes beautifully.

And the extraordinary elation,

the euphoria that happens to so many of us

as the first breath of the majestic glow

of a new tomorrow.

And we all are fearful
of forgetting a word

I would imagine, I've not talked about this

at any great length with other actors.

But for me learning the words
is the work of the actor.

Everything else is a kick.

Without paying the penalty
of sky high fuel bills

I'm delighted to be part
of the future of Carousel.

I really am.

Now I go

An actor brings himself.

Again, Laurence Olivier,

they used to say with his makeup on,

first, the nose came on
stage followed by Larry.

No matter what you do,
with some exceptions,

like De Niro putting on a lot of weight

and then taking the weight
off playing the boxer.

That was extraordinary and unhealthy.

But for the most part, all the actor can do

is bring who he is to the role.

Every human being is
limited by what they are.

Whether it's in business,
whatever business you're in,

you bring your own sensibilities to it.

No matter how much you pretend,
I'd like to be so and so.

You can't be, you're yourself

I think that everybody wears a mask.

Everybody, until you take it down.

We are all holding a mask up

to various times, to various people.

We're holding up the mask that I think

is what we expect them to think

I want them to realise

what you're thinking about me is true.

And here's my mask

I think that's it.

So you hold the mask up
of being intelligent.

And here I thought you were in shock.

No you didn't.

You thought I was confused.

Perhaps scared.

And probably playing for time.

Amazing.

Being funny or being wise.

Hello, I'm William
Shatner and I'm a shaman

I'm a conduit of the
ancient forces of nature.

Or being daddy, husband, lover.

Mask.

Hi, I'm your host on this
visit to Washington DC.

When do you take away the mask

and how do you know you've
taken away the mask?

What does that mean?

There is no myself.

An actor.

Man of a thousand faces.

One for Fargate, one for
Norland, one for Lila,

one for the children.

One, one.

It's not myself anymore.

There's nothing in the mirror.

You look in the mirror,

you don't really see yourself
when you look in the mirror

I mean, you'd be appalled at
what you really look like,

if you could just see the reality of.

That's why I don't watch film on myself

because you can't peel away the.

That's real.

There was a closeup of me as Kirk dies,

and I wanted Kirk to die the
way he lived, with courage.

'Cause I always played Kirk with curiosity.

He would say, "Oh my god, what's that?"

I wanted that to be his death.

And it didn't quite

I wish I'd had another take at it.

It was.

Fun.

Oh my.

I wanted to be, oh my.

Like, wow, death is coming.

How interesting.

'Cause that's the way he led his life.

We'll die the way we live.

I mean, we don't change,

when you die, I guess

I don't know.

Does anybody know?

Nobody knows.

Doesn't anybody know?

Does anybody know?

What's that line from a song?

Nobody knows.

It is slightly darker than I wanted it to be.

And maybe that's the way it should be.

Captain, I just wanted to assure you

that I did what I thought best

to save both you and the men.

Noted.

You should know however,
that there's very little

a star base can do that a starship can't.

If I may say so, Captain,

I am now quite aware of
what a scholarship can do

with the right man at the helm.

Commanding officers, really
good commanding officers

I don't know whether I knew
this then, all those years ago,

but certainly I've observed that,

don't say, "Alright, let's turn left".

That's what they did on the pilot.

We aren't going to go?

To be certain?

Not without any
indication of survivors, no.

Continue onto the Vega colony

and take care of our own
sick and injured first.

You have the helm.

Maintain present course.

Yes sir.

And they presented it to NBC

and NBC said, "Well, it's a great idea,

but we don't like the cast.

Do another thing".

And I was in the second pilot

I'll have you checkmated your next move.

Have I ever mentioned you play

a very irritating game
of chess, Mr Spock?

Irritating?

Ah, yes.

One of your earth emotions.

Certain you don't know what irritation is?

As long as he has the command presence,

he can be a joker.

He could be light, he could
be heavy, he could be.

But that command presence
is what you need.

And that's what I think I
tried to do most of the time.

I'm in command

I could order this.

But I'm not.

Because Dr McCoy is right

in pointing out the
enormous danger potential

in any contact with life and intelligence

as fantastically advanced as this.

But I must point out that the possibilities,

the potential for
knowledge and advancement

is equally great.

Just be present there
with the ability to know,

I know exactly what we have to do.

And I'll tell you what to, you
know, just to go over there,

stand there and be ready when I count.

Given the same circumstances,

I would do the same
thing without hesitation.

'Cause the steps I took,
in the order I took them,

were absolutely necessary
if I were to save my ship.

And nothing is more
important than my ship.

And so I think I brought
more humour, more

I didn't think it need to
be as we're on a mission.

And took it from seeing real guys,

real commanders, who don't do that.

When I think of the hospitals

in which over 130,000
other men of the 3rd Army

have had a damn good time usually

Why me?

I've never heard of a
network saying to a company,

here's the money to do another
pilot of the same show.

Just change the cast, and
of course another story

I believe there's some hope
for you after all, Mr Spock.

Could you
define for me Shatnerian?

What is that?

- Shatnerian?
- Shatnerian

I have no idea

I've heard that phrase

I see myself in you, Joey, at your age

I just wish someone had given me

the opportunity that you had.

We grow up too soon, Joey.

I have no idea what they mean

I hear people going,
"And he talks like this".

And when they started doing that,

I remember turning to Mike, I was like,

"Is that me?

Is that what they're doing?"

Normally Shatner talks at
a pretty lightning fast pace.

He's William Shatner, he's talking.

And when sometimes the lines
aren't as obvious to him,

he slows down,

becomes more deliberate in his approach.

Until he gets there, then he's back,

speeding up again and talking.

People's supposed imitation of me is.

I don't know

I don't hear it.

Listen to me.

Time and space.

You're taking up valuable time and space.

And when I
speak, I never ever talk

like every word is its own sentence.

I became friends with
Edward G Robinson.

As an actor, he did a lot of meh.

Meh.

Well I'm going

I'm gonna rub 'em out.

Yeah.

So I said to him one day,
"Do you know you go 'meh'?"

He said, "I go 'meh'?"

I turn on the radio.

What do I hear?

Yeah yeah yeah.

Everybody on television.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The day.

The day my little baby was born,

the first time that I
picked him up in my arms,

all other babies say goo goo, dadda.

He looked up at me and he
said, "Yeah, yeah, yeah".

Comedy is as delicate
as a heart operation.

If you say, "Take my wife, please".

You know, if you say,
"Take my wife please,"

it's not funny.

But if there's a a mystical.

A mist.

Not mystical.

But a mist of humour.

How are y'all?

I'm glad to be here.

Take my wife, please.

One wrong move and
you've lost the humour.

Lost the joke

I mean, if you're saying,
go back to the other line,

take my wife please,

I don't know why I keep
going back to that

I don't want you to take my wife.

Please don't take my wife.

Take my.

Please.

Somebody in the audience coughs.

It destroys a laugh.

It's empty.

One slight deviation from the
timing of the line, even.

But particularly the feed line.

So there's a feed line and a snapper.

The joke line and laugh.

The timing on that is exquisite.

Exquisite

Fred Willard, I've been watching
your career for many years

and I can honestly say I don't get it.

You're just so dry.

If you were any drier, you'd
be in Betty White's underwear

You rehearse in a room
and you think it's funny.

And then, opening night in
front of a trial audience,

the play changes completely,

'cause there's another
character in the play.

The audience.

Hello

Captain on the bridge!

Captain on the bridge!

You're William Shatner.

- You can call me Bill.
- Ooh, can I call you Captain?

No.

Please.

No.

And slowly you play that music
of allowing the audience in,

incorporating the audience in,

so that you're playing to the audience,

but you're not playing to the audience

I've appeared on stage at
Stratford, at Carnegie Hall,

Albert Hall and the
Monkland Theatre in NDG

And yes, I've gone where
no man has gone before.

But I was in Mexico and her
father gave me permission.

My name is William
Shatner and I am Canadian!

And you're aware of the audience

but you're not aware of the audience.

It's a delicate balance eve here.

And the moment you lose that
balance, you lose the laugh,

you lose the continuity,
you lose the character.

Everything goes out the window.

That first laugh.

It's like suckling on mother's milk.

It's just.

Ladies and
gentlemen, William Shatner.

Empowering.

Thank you, thank you, thank you very much.

Thank you.

The producer said, "We'd
like you to do the opening

for George Lucas's lifetime
achievement award".

And the sketch for me, it
was, and literally a sketch,

you go out there and act as though

you're at a "Star Trek" convention.

"Star Trek" changed everything.

And aren't these conventions wonderful?

And then discover that it's "Star Wars"

and then get off as fast you can.

So I take a piece of paper out of my hand.

Mr Shatner, we want you to open the show.

"Star Wars."

And they got it, and they started to laugh.

And the moment they started to laugh,

I realised that I had them.

Because that's a very delicate bounce.

Imagine if they didn't get it.

George.

It's George, isn't it?

May I call you George?

Thank you.

You can call me Mr Shatner

That's how delicate a balance comedy is.

That's the springboard

that you dive off of from a 30 foot height

and you hope there's water in the pool.

That's comedy.

That's the courage of a madman.

And when you fail.

I failed.

I did fail once.

More than once.

But this was a memorable failure.

So I was asked to do a
standup comedy routine.

So I got a great idea

I'll come out as Captain Kirk,

who thinks he's a standup comic.

Take my wife please.

And this, because he's got no timing,

'cause he's a captain of a Starship.

He's not a comic.

And what if he's the worst
standup comic that ever was?

That sounds funny to me.

Take my wife please.

Nobody's laughing.

Shit.

That was my lesson in comedy failing.

I almost forgot it.

It was so painful.

It's embarrassing.

And apparently a lot of,
if not all, standup comics,

even the good ones, even the
ones that are like now popular

and they're trying a new
routine out and it doesn't work.

And it's like, it's death.

It's death, you want to die.

You want to die now.

And they go on.

You know, they keep going.

But maybe this one will work.

Great, I think we've got it.

Bill, I hope you come back tomorrow.

I hope you haven't had enough.

That's the best line yet.

I hope we come back tomorrow.

No, I'm gonna go ride a horse tomorrow

The thing about getting old

is you don't realise you're getting old.

We're both too old for this kind of thing.

As a kid in Montreal,

at some point when I was
six or seven or eight,

my dad could afford to rent a cottage,

a little old cottage on a little old lake.

And not too far away was a welfare camp.

And by the time I was 15 or 16,

I applied to the camp to be a counsellor.

Now these were tough kids from
the tough part of Montreal.

So I defended myself by telling stories.

I was in demand as a storyteller.

And I used to tell them ghost stories.

Once upon a midnight dreary,

while I pondered, weak and weary,

over many a quaint and curious
volume of forgotten lore,

while I nodded, nearly napping,

suddenly there came a tapping

I was an actor when I was six years old.

And being an actor, taking
material that you don't,

even in your innocence
'cause you're a child,

you don't know anything about,

and putting it out for the first time

in front of an audience
is an adventure in itself.

Corbis!

I'll face whatever you
have behind those doors

and come out exactly as I went in.

Everything, by the way, is an adventure.

My talking to you should be an
adventure for you and for me,

so that I'm discovering what
I'm saying as I'm saying it.

Everything's risky.

Actors wanna be loved and liked.

And no matter what the role
is, the jeopardy is the same.

Jump, jump!

That a girl.

Playing the leading role
in any of these series

that I've done, that's a risk

I do have a sense of adventure

I did a series called "Voice of the Planet"

and I'm there on a.

I don't know, 12, 14 thousand
foot mountain, on a glacier.

I'm standing there like that
and I hear a crack there,

and oh, a crack.

And I don't know what's between my leg,

whether I can fall in there
to an icy blue ice death.

And I'm standing there
thinking, what am I doing here?

Why have I done this?

I've done a number of those
things over a period of my life,

and I don't know why.

But there's something
beautiful about that.

Risk.

Risk is our business.

That's what the starship is all about.

That's why we're aboard her.

Fighting against myself as a character,

you've gotta look for characteristics

that are obvious enough so the audience

will know which one it is.

You can't hurt me.

You can't kill me.

You can't.

Don't you understand?

I'm part of you.

You need me.

I need you.

It's a sale.

Nothing beats a sale.

Wrong move.

You.

Priceline negotiator!

You could save up to half off that sale

when you name your own price on Priceline.

But this one's a deal.

Trust me, it's only
pretending to be a deal.

Here, bid $79.

Got it.

Wow.

You win this time, good twin

I did a film in Spain between
seasons at "Star Trek".

And the idea was there was
a good twin and a bad twin.

I'll be in a place called Rio Hondo

I'll wait four days.

Either you come and meet me there alone

or I'll find you again.

One of us must die.

Of course they looked alike
'cause they were twins

and they rode distinctive horses.

Each twin had a particular
horse so that they could say,

oh no, that was the other twin.

But in addition, in reality,
you needed two horses

because for long shots you
needed a horse that would run.

And for closeups, you needed
a horse that was calm.

So I had four horses.

Today and tomorrow.

Two for each character that I was playing.

The horse for closeup
was named El Tranquilo.

Tranquil one.

And the one for long shots was
El Nervioso, the nervous one.

You should make a very convincing Nazi.

In "Star Trek", there was a Nazi guy,

and then there was the evil guy, evil Kirk

I'm Captain Kirk.

I'm Captain Kirk!

A couple at least, or three of 'em,

maybe there were three or four.

But in doing that, I needed to find a core

of the other character.

Look at me carefully, Spock.

Can't you tell I'm your captain?

Well, there's one difference between us

I'm hungry.

The difference is your
weakness, Captain, not mine.

Captain Kirk was the good guy.

But what did the bad guy.

What does a bad guy do?

And what does a Nazi do that
makes him more distinctive?

Now, Janice Lester takes
the place of Captain Kirk.

I already possess your physical strength.

Only this Captain Kirk is not afraid to kill

I've played Captain Kirk as a woman.

How do you play a woman?

The key is to find a core.

There are keys, if you
think about it enough,

that make a character
sufficiently different enough

that it's recognizable, but it's still you.

Who are you?

Who are you really?

What do you mean?

I'm the host of the hit
series "Rescue 911"

I thought that was Robert Stack

Robert Stack?

Are you insane?

So what does know yourself mean?

I've often thought of that.

Know thyself.

Like what?

Like, you like spaghetti?

Okay.

You know?

But what are you gonna do in a situation?

You don't know what you're
gonna do in a situation.

Standing on that train, what was I doing?

Was I showing off?

Was I trying to make a better movie?

Was I interested in what it felt like?

That was the dumbest thing I
could have ever thought of.

Put myself in jeopardy like that.

But logic only came in after the passion.

Be so obsessed.

Obsessed?

That you could destroy
yourself, your career.

And we know that passion
overrides anything,

overrides logic.

The reptilian brain of passion

overrides the frontal lobe's thoughts.

It's unfortunate, but that's
what human beings are.

What have I done?

Which is a phrase that I've
used in my songs quite a bit.

What have I done?

My God, Bones.

What have I done?

What you had to do, what you always do.

Turn death into a fighting chance to live.

There's no ego involved
as far as I can consider

I don't care

I would do whatever I
was doing in a vacuum.

Sea monkeys?

Piranha.

Their lives exude a beautiful simplicity,

savage, ruthless, existing
only to devour and destroy,

to taste blood, to rend flesh.

Sounds like me, right?

What's it like to do that?

What's it like?

What's it feel like?

There is a curiosity about it.

Can I do that?

Can I do that without hurting myself?

You're going against all the instincts

and intuition of self
preservation by doing these.

By challenging your life.

Have I the right to
jeopardise my crew, my ship,

for a feeling I can't even put into words?

No man achieves star fleet command

without relying on intuition.

But have I made a rational decision?

Am I letting the horrors of the past

distort my judgement of the present?

But when you talked
about thrills and danger,

all that pales besides
the search for passion.

You should be passionate about everything.

Should be passionate about
talking, about eating.

About loving

About exploring

I mean, name a verb and you
should be passionate about it.

Go boldly, passionately.

Without that, it's everything's academic.

Boldly go, go into war.

Sail your vessel, put your
vessel next to the bad guys.

And shields up.

But now, in the aftermath.

Yellow alert.

What is there to boldly go into?

The last thing is death.

So boldly go into your life.

Live your life fully, passionately.

Have some effect.

Do something good either
to yourself, to the people.

Leave something that's, you know,

that has some quality there, some value.

And then boldly go into the next thing,

whether it's emptiness or whatever it is.

So it's an interesting phrase.

Go boldly.

Go boldly.

Go with courage.

Go fully.

Go with commitment.

That's what it means.

Don't do it halfheartedly.

Whatever it is you do, do it
fully, do it passionately.

Do it with your whole being.

This is what I believe in
for the next five minutes.

And then I'll believe in something else.

That's what it means.

I've often talked about regret.

You can't regret.

Oh, I should have turned left,

because you went to the left
because that was your passion.

Either turn around and go
to the right if you can,

or boldly go to the left.

See if you make a purse
out of a pig's ear.

So I've tried to limit my sense of regret.

And that's why you shouldn't have regrets.

You should try.

There's no you should, I don't
know what I'm talking about

I tried not to do that.

I left home when it was safer to stay home

and I wanted to stay home.

I went on stage as an
understudy for Henry V.

Chris Plummer was playing Henry.

Somebody was telling
me, "Drill those words.

Drill those words.

Close the wall up with our English".

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it, I got it.

Once more onto the breach, dear friend.

Once more on.

And I would work and work at it.

And about a week into the
opening of Andrew V, less,

somebody says to me, "The
director wants to talk to you".

He says, "Chris is ill, he's in the hospital.

Can you go on?"

What did he know?

And I said, "Yes, I can go on"

Timothy Leary on his deathbed,
took his final breath,

and said, "Of course".

That's all he said.

He didn't give us any explanation.

Of course what?

Of course, of course what?

What did he see?

Maybe he said off course

I don't know.

He didn't give us any context.

Loneliness is a a strange beast.

We all are essentially alone.

We don't realise it.

We're born alone, we die alone.

In between we have relationships,

and the relationships are good,

but do we really know each other?

Do we really know ourselves?

Do we really know that we're not alone

because that person or persons
is in us, with us, beside us.

I think that essentially we're all alone.

I'm alone.

Alone.

Alone.

And some of us, I think I'm included,

have been alone all our lives.

Never really had the
friendship that we read about.

I knew some kids on the street,

but I never had a real friend

I think the women in my life,

the loves of my life have been my friend,

and has assuaged that loneliness.

But I just have been alone all my life.

Pure and simple.

It goes along with the idea of masks

and what we hold up

and do we ever present
ourselves as we really are,

as we really are, to somebody else?

Can we be absolutely honest?

I mean, for a longer period of time

than a flash of passion.

I am conflicted by it.

I don't want to be alone

I'm afraid of being alone

I've gone to great lengths not to be alone.

And the thing that frightens
me most about dying is dying

What am I, a dog that
I die when I am dead?

No.

I'm a man with a god.

And when I die,

I live.

Do you think about dying?

All the time.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Do you think it's
gonna be pretty exciting?

No

I think it is

I don't wanna leave.

Really?

Well, I'm having too good a time

I'm more active now than I've ever been.

And more productive, more creative.

So I'm not languishing.

But what would happen
if you were languishing?

Do you communicate?

Do you say, "I'm dying and I'm afraid?"

Can you talk about that?

Does anybody know what
they're talking about

when they talk to you about it?

Oh, don't be afraid.

What do you mean, don't be afraid?

I'm the one that's dying.

Oh, it's gonna be all right.

You'll go to heaven.

What do you mean, what's heaven?

What is heaven?

Well, all right, so you'll
just be part of the universe.

Great, so I'll be unconscious.

Yes.

'Cause you'll be an atom
or gas or something

I've had enough gas.

So loneliness is endemic.

I saw a dog the other day on the street

frantically looking around

and it's what lonely
people do, emotionally.

Emotionally frantically look around,

trying to find some attachment.

I had a wild experience.

Went to Hawaii with my family

and on that particular
beach, there was police tape.

There's a body.

Has somebody died?

"No, no, no," said the Hawaiian.

"That's a monk seal."

She comes every so often.

Comes up on the beach and lies there.

And we got tape around so
people won't bother her...

After a while, the monk seal disappeared,

and I think it was the next morning.

And I'm swimming and suddenly
I'm grasped from behind.

And I was turned around

and I'm looking at this
thing that's holding me.

It's the monk seal.

It grasped me in its arms.

I went, "Ah!"

Screamed.

And the thing.

And it swam off.

And I thought about that monk seal a lot.

Alone.

But that was like an animal so lonely

that it took the only
thing in the ocean to hug.

Dogs will howl in pain.

Oh!

They cry out.

'Cause you've left them alone.

What is that?

The pack is gone.

Everything they belong to is gone.

And they howl and that howl is pain

I'm alone.

I have howled like that, at various times,

in pain of being alone.

I'm talking about an existential loneliness

I'm overwhelmed with it all the time.

Love of other people.

It hasn't got anything to do with it

I mean, oh, I love you.

Yeah, good.

But what do you do in
the middle of the night?

See, here's the thing

I've just moved into Caxton

and I'm anxious to meet
some young people here,

but I don't have any contacts.

Isn't that a sad story?

I'm Jewish and I went to school
in, in a non-Jewish area.

I was bullied a lot

I would have a fight every day,

then a ring of students would
go, "Fight, fight, fight!"

I was a kid who was interested in acting

and I was a kid who was
interested in sports.

The jocks didn't understand acting

and the actors didn't
understand my love of sports.

I was in between two worlds again.

And I spent a great deal of time like that.

And I think a lot of that is
rubbed off into who I am today.

I was in grade school
and the teacher said,

"Alright, let's send."

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow.

Everybody send Valentines to each other

and say nice, you know,
write a nice message...

And for some reason, my voice said,

"You better write yourself five or six.

Valentines to yourself".

So I wrote five or six
Valentines to myself.

And then on Valentines Day,

I got five or six Valentines I had written.

The only Valentines I got were to me.

Now why is that?

And you try to examine, am I antisocial?

Do I smell bad?

Do I offend people?

So what happened there?

I don't know.

But I suppose it went
along with the bullying

or the attempt to bully me
and my fights every day.

My father was not ostensibly a loving man,

but he loved his family and he loved me.

Although I heard the phrase,

"This is gonna hurt me
more than it hurts you."

And off his belt would come.

And that phrase, "It hurts
me more than it hurts you,"

stuck in my craw ever since.

But he was charitable to
a fault and to his family.

And he was a very honourable citizen.

He was a such a worthwhile human being

I loved my dad.

He was a Canadian snowbird

and he was down in Miami with my mother.

And he had a heart attack.

And she said he was weeping
at the end and died.

And that mystery of what was
he crying about has haunted me.

What was he crying about?

Was he crying for his fate?

Did he want to see me?

Did he think, what have
I done with my life?

And I was shooting "Star Trek"

and it was lunch hour and the phone rings.

My mother said, "Your
father just passed away.

You gotta come in".

It's noon, and what am I gonna do?

So I thought maybe we can
continue shooting the scene.

Sadness.

Sadness.

For the end of things.

Go into the tunnel.

There is a passageway.

Quickly, quickly.

I couldn't remember the words.

And Leonard and the
cameraman, Gerry Finnerman,

just stood by me the whole time, was wild.

And the other vivid memory
is the sound of the earth

hitting the casket

I can hear now as loud as thunder.

Boom.

I won't forget that.

And that was my dad.

And he died before I
achieved any real success.

I mean, I was living hand
to mouth for many years.

My father, I knew loved me,

but my mother wasn't
demonstrably loving in that way.

I watch sometimes these athletes,

they get chosen to be on the team

and they're surrounded by their family.

And the mother hugs the boy

and the bug hugs the
mother before the father.

Wow, that's something

I marvel at it all the time.

Oh, Johnny, you made the team

I'm so proud.

Mom, I did it, mom.

Wow.

I never said mom

I don't say my mom

I loved my mom.

Mom.

What the hell is mom?

It's my mother.

When children talk about
their female parent

and they say, "My mom," like, wow.

That's so warm and loving.

And I never had that

I never had that with her.

She never offered a motherly thing.

Oh, it's all right, sweetheart.

We grieve all the time
for things that we lose.

We're in grief a great deal of our life.

And we have to learn to live with grief.

And then you learn to
grieve for the end of life.

Like, I'm losing life

I'm losing my life.

What was that line from Chekhov?

Why do you always wear black?

I'm in mourning.

For my life

I'm in mourning for my youth.

Why are you wearing black?

I'm in mourning for my youth.

Are atoms lonely?

Is an electron lonely when it
doesn't go around the nucleus?

Are scientists as lonely as that?

When they look through a
telescope out into the space

and they see how far and
how enormous everything is,

how dictatorial the laws of nature are,

there's no bending there.

You go around in a circle

and you enter into a black
hole and you're gone forever.

It seems no escape from any of that.

We're aware of the imponderable
mysteries out there.

We don't know anything

I mean, the earth, the earth is alone.

There is nothing like
it in our solar system.

And for us to get beyond
the solar systems,

monumental.

We are leaving that vast
cloud of stars and planets

which we call our galaxy.

Behind us, Earth, Mars, Venus,

even our sun, are specks of dust.

A question, what is out there
in the black void beyond?

The planet is all we have.

And it is so ephemerally small.

We don't grasp how small
it is until you look at it.

My God.

So you talk about loneliness.

This is loneliness, man.

The whole planet is alone.

Human beings walking around are alone.

And I think that, and I feel that.

So it's more than mommy.

It's huge.

Science
fiction became science fact

for actor William Shatner today.

At 90 years old, Star Trek's Captain Kirk

became the oldest person
to travel to space

I'm lying in the seat

and the engines are fulminating.

Our astronauts
can feel that they are

sitting at the top of a 60 foot rocket.

And I hear, "Alright,
we're starting our countdown.

But before we start a countdown".

This is almost verbatim.

"Before we start the countdown,

we're gonna remove the gantry.

So if anybody decides that
they don't want to go,

now's the time to get off...

Huh?

I could go.

No, I can't go

I can't go, I'm Captain Kirk.

Now it's a go.

Countdown.

Hold on.

There's an anomaly in the engine.

An anomaly.

It's a great English word.

There's something different
about this engine.

And all those thoughts
were flooding my brain

I could have got off.

The Hindenburg.

Alright, the anomaly's solved.

And we continue the countdown.

And now we're into liftoff.

And I'm looking out the window

and I see clouds of smoke.

Shit, I hope this thing takes off.

My heart skipped a beat
and on the blink of an eye,

it all happened so fast.

A thunderous blast shot
up as clouds passed,

punched a hole in the sky

And it starts to go.

Holy cat, we're up in the.

And I'm looking at the disappearing.

It's on my right hand side.

Disappearing Earth.

And we're up.

And the Gs are an enormous,

Oh God.

And then bon!

Weightlessness.

God - Weightlessness.

Oh Jesus.

During the heyday of the
"Star Trek" I was on,

there was the activity get to the moon.

So they invited me to come to Kennedy.

And I came to Kennedy
and I was, at that point,

"Star Trek" was.

My "Star Trek" was on the air.

And I got there and they literally
rolled out the red carpet

and took me into this giant space

where they assembled the rockets.

Now, I don't know, two years later,

"Star Trek" has been cancelled

I've been divorced

I'm broke.

That word is really weird

I'm broke.

No, I'm not broken

I don't have any money

I was in a pasture in order
to save motel expenses

and eating expenses, I had
bought a wrecked truck.

And I'm lying on the bed in that little cab.

And I've got a four inch

black and white television
set on my chest.

And I'm looking through
the window at the moon.

It's a clear night that night.

And I'm looking at Armstrong
stepping down from the moon

I'm at my nadir.

I have no money

I'm living like a bum

I've got my dog

I mean, at one point I
couldn't cash a $15 check

after "Star Trek".

And I'm looking at the incredible feat.

F-E-A-T, and his feet, F-E-E-T,

as he placed it for one
small step for a man,

one giant step for mankind

I hear him say this thing
and I'm thinking my God,

that's fantastic.

Only a short while ago I was a part of it

I mean, they used to say that

when Star Treks ratings went up,

the government voted more money.

It was like a self energizing loop.

And so I was a teeny,
teeny infinitesimally,

small part of him landing on the moon.

And I'm here and he's there.

And as I went to sleep, I
thought of the irony of it

I absolutely subsequently recovered.

But that was a moment.

There I was in a giant lifetime
coincidence of symmetry,

of chance.

Yeah.

I had seen footage of the interior

of the Blue Origin Spaceship

on the first trip, which had Jeff Bezos,

his brother, some young kid,
and this older astronaut.

And I'm thinking, when I saw
the footage, I thought, my God

I mean, that's fun.

That's funny.

The talent, it's funny.

But is that what you wanna
do in the three minutes

you have in space?

Once beyond gravity, we unlock the key

and set ourselves free
floating around the inside.

While some tumbled and danced
in that weightless trance,

I had to take my chance to the
window to witness the ride

I needed to see what was out there for me

in the endless sea.

To meet my fate

I could never anticipate what I saw.

Filled me with awe.

But also something cold, piddles and raw.

An instinct to withdraw.

A hot coal to be dropped.

Relentless blackness was all I could see,

like a depthless eternity

and benevolent mystery that
could never be stopped.

Endless darkness,

No twinkly stars, no magical
lights that call from afar,

no breathable air, nothing
to care, no message to send,

no beginnings or ends,
no life could sustain,

no dreams could remain,
dearly drove me insane,

and I felt a deep pain.

What I saw stopped me cold,
collapsed all my breath.

All I could see

was death.

I thought, my God, that's
probably the darkness

you see when you die.

Boom.

There's no light.

It's all over.

And then I referred back to Earth.

And I saw the white clouds.

I saw the beige of the Texas desert.

I saw all of it filtered through the blue air,

the refraction of sunlight through

the water vapour in air.

And I saw the curvature of the earth

I could delineate the earth.

It is this little tiny thing.

We're a moat of dust in the universe.

We are living on debris
from the solar system.

Our brains aren't made to encompass

the vastness of the things
we're talking about.

We stumbled and say I
can't believe with that.

But we can't imagine what it is

Einstein said, "It's a spooky place".

And it's a spooky place.

And I realised that little tiny rock

is all we have to live on.

So we land and I go to get
off and I suddenly see.

Feel myself crying uncontrollably.

What you have given me

is the most profound
experience I can imagine.

I'm so filled with emotion
about what just happened

I just.

It's extraordinary.

Extraordinary.

What the heck?

What am I crying about?

I did an interview with a
guy the day before yesterday.

Well-known interviewer.

He said, "I don't believe
in global warming".

What do you mean you don't
believe in global warming?

Do you believe in a red light
as saying, stopping you?

Or you say that, I know it's a red light,

but I don't believe in it.

You go right through

I mean, what do you mean
you don't believe in.

It's like insane.

Frankly, I hope this planet survives

I really do.

But I am getting sick of you
smug, hybrid driving socialists

telling the rest of us how to live our lives

I'm rich, okay?

I like to guzzle a little gas now and then

I keep my thermostat
at 72 during the winter

and I prefer night games and football.

And I am fed up with you
global warming wotsits

raining on my electric parade.

Earth is our home.

Space has no people, passion or love.

And then this question hangs from above,

we know almost nothing of.

We are approaching a very,

to put it mildly, a very tough time

for the people who come after us.

And we've got our heads in the sand.

Mostly.

It's total denial on the global scale,

because what is reality is so painful

that you better not face it.

How would you handle this?

We could try ignoring it, sir

I see.

Pretend nothing has happened

and hope everything turns
out all right in the morning.

Just a thought, sir

I've considered that.

There's got to be a better angle

I heard a author some years ago say,

"Well, it doesn't bother me

'cause I'm outta here very soon".

But what about your loved ones?

What are you gonna do about that?

That really bothers me

I can understand the violence of a storm.

It's a natural thing,
not meant to harm anyone.

But the violence of men,

their cruelty and
savageness to one another,

to themselves.

And I thought of all those
things as I came down

and I was

I realise now, it took me
hours to come to the conclusion

I was in grief for the earth

I hope I never recover
from what I discovered.

Like a long lost lover I had left to neglect

mountains, trees, birds, beasts,

life-giving water, magnificent feasts,

north, south, west, east.

All human reactions from terror to fun,

all that breathes, swims, flies or runs,

literally everything under the sun.

We all have our loves,

and what a miracle that is on this planet.

You know?

And everything loves.

Every living thing loves.

The percentages of the degradation

of wildlife on Earth is enormous.

We don't realise it, but
it's like having termites.

You know, that's, I'm dancing on the floor

and one day you fall through the floor.

How did that happen?

It's all being eaten away.

It's all so fragile.

What can we do?

What can we do?

So fragile.

So blue.

What can we do?

When my time has come,

don't put me in a box.

And skip the fancy shiver.

No platters of bagels and lox.

Lay down that spike and chisel.

No headstone will I need.

Yeah, when I die, my wish is clear.

Just plant me like a seed.

Because I wanna be a tree.

Yeah, I wanna be a tree
with plenty of leaves

and bark to spare for everyone to see.

I want to be a tree.

Yeah, I want to be a tree.

You can sit right down under my shade.

That'll be enough for me.

How much of our lives are
spent not doing anything?

You know, you're in a
waiting room of your life,

waiting for something
that you hope will happen,

that you tried to make happen,

that you think is going
to happen, and you wait.

So making the fullness of your life

is really fraught with a lot of waiting.

A full life is a life
that's lived with awareness.

See, I read it and it's true.

Make a pod from my remains

and stick me in the ground
and pray for sun and rain.

The richness from my body
will supercharge the earth

and like a natural maternity ward

to a sapling I'll give birth.

I haven't changed the world

I mean, if you talk about fame,

my heroes of the screen are
now been dead for many years.

Of course, they're great
artists, but they no longer are.

They're gone.

The nitrate on the film is oxidized.

The billboards are burned.

The statues are torn down.

But what does remain, what is a legacy,

are the good deeds.

Yeah, I wanna be a tree.

You can sit right down under my shade.

That'll be enough for me.

Helping an old lady across the street.

That deed reverberates
like the butterfly wings,

which disturbs the air and changes fate.

You've just changed somebody's

or something's fate by your contribution.

And that will be.

That will stand the test of time.

Everything else, you, me, everything,

fades into oblivion very quickly.

But that good deed reverberates.

And I feel that.

If humankind were to disappear tomorrow,

the world would come back very quickly.

The trees would grow back,

the lungs of the earth would come back.

So don't stick me in an urn
for some relative to keep,

and please don't throw me overboard

to the bottom of the deep.

No 21 gun salute.

So just put those guns to bed

I've got a much more peaceful wish.

Bring the garden tools instead.

And so I have made arrangements

that my body will be cremated

I'll be put in a bag as an
open sack, a tree, a redwood

I wanted a sequoia,

but a redwood will be placed over the bag.

The bag will nourish the tree.

I have this kind of raw land,

where I know where I want to do it.

The idea of still being part
of nature and flowering.

I'm there, and the tree grows

and we know the tree communicates

and there's such a mystique about trees.

And these wonderful large
trees that live for a thousand,

five thousand years.

There's a wind swept cypress
on the edge of a cliff

in western California on the coast,

the lone cypress.

And it's like an old gnarled grandfather.

It's I'm here and I'm gonna stay here.

What a thing.

What a thing to look at.

And those sequoias.

They're a thousand,
fifteen hundred years old

and they've lived all that time,

enduring everything that
nature threw at them.

And fires of this year killed Sequoia trees

where they are built to survive any fire,

'cause of their bark.

These fires were so bad that
sequoias died as a result.

That's how bad it is.

Yeah, I wanna be a tree,

with plenty of leaves and bark to spare

for everyone to see.

Yes, I want to be a tree

I wanna be a tree standing, swaying,

firm and tall, glorious and free.

I want to be a tree.

Can you imagine?

So you think, what's your legacy?

What are you leaving behind?

Good deeds, also a tree.

But that one's for you.

You can sit under the shade
and that'll be enough for me.

That'll be enough for me

One, two, three, four

I have saved
the world in the movies.

So naturally there's folks who
think I must know what to do.

But just because you've
seen me on your TV,

doesn't mean I'm any more
enlightened than you.

I'd love to help
the world in all its problems.

But I'm an entertainer and that's all.

So the next time there's an
asteroid or a natural disaster,

I'm flattered that you thought of me,

but I'm not the one to call.

And while there's a part of me

in that guy you've seen
up there on that screen,

I am so much more.

Sorry to disappoint you,

but I'm real