Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,114 --> 00:00:09,953
I can't remember the last movie
we saw in theaters,
2
00:00:09,986 --> 00:00:11,924
and on opening night.
3
00:00:11,957 --> 00:00:13,728
Movies are back, baby.
4
00:00:13,761 --> 00:00:16,834
Just think of all the chumps
out there waiting three days
5
00:00:16,834 --> 00:00:20,040
until this movie's
free on streaming.
6
00:00:20,842 --> 00:00:23,046
[tires screeching]
7
00:00:26,988 --> 00:00:29,626
Now to watch this movie
the way God intended,
8
00:00:29,659 --> 00:00:32,866
on a small screen
and riddled with ads.
9
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:37,643
I'm Dr. Janet Grody, creator
of Snuf Total-Body Deodorant.
10
00:00:37,643 --> 00:00:39,947
It's for all
your grossest places.
11
00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:41,951
Just rub it
right on your butt cleft,
12
00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:44,088
under pouch, stink flaps...
13
00:00:44,121 --> 00:00:46,994
[groans] How can they say
those words on TV?
14
00:00:47,027 --> 00:00:50,000
...peat bog,
smuckle, stunk-tank...
15
00:00:50,034 --> 00:00:52,873
[all snickering]
16
00:00:52,873 --> 00:00:55,645
Come on, skip ad. Skip ad.
17
00:00:55,679 --> 00:00:59,920
...between-hatch, gunk chunnel,
boob swamp, elbow crotch...
18
00:00:59,986 --> 00:01:01,156
[laughing]
Elbow crotch.
19
00:01:01,156 --> 00:01:02,926
I have one of those.
20
00:01:02,992 --> 00:01:05,898
[Bart and Lisa laughing]
21
00:01:05,898 --> 00:01:07,835
[groans]
22
00:01:07,869 --> 00:01:08,704
Finally.
23
00:01:09,038 --> 00:01:12,879
You're a real man,
and real men have scrotum dust.
24
00:01:12,879 --> 00:01:14,014
Oh, for the love of--
25
00:01:14,048 --> 00:01:15,919
[announcer]
Have you got butt-rot?
26
00:01:15,985 --> 00:01:17,889
-Mm-hmm.
-[groans]
27
00:01:17,889 --> 00:01:19,993
-Does your stank stink?
-[groans]
28
00:01:20,027 --> 00:01:22,866
Looks like
it's dingleberry season.
29
00:01:22,899 --> 00:01:25,337
[laughter]
30
00:01:25,370 --> 00:01:26,873
Enough.
31
00:01:26,907 --> 00:01:28,878
[grunts, pants]
32
00:01:28,911 --> 00:01:30,147
Let's just do it old-school.
33
00:01:30,180 --> 00:01:32,385
DVDs were never dirty.
34
00:01:33,186 --> 00:01:36,927
Whoa, geez. Somebody had
a crush on Kevin Kline.
35
00:01:36,927 --> 00:01:38,964
Shut up. Everyone did back then.
36
00:01:39,031 --> 00:01:41,035
[gasps]
Keagan's Pond.
37
00:01:41,069 --> 00:01:42,839
Oh, I used to love this show.
38
00:01:42,872 --> 00:01:45,945
It's about four teenagers
played by 20-year-olds
39
00:01:46,012 --> 00:01:48,150
with the problems
of 40-year-olds.
40
00:01:48,183 --> 00:01:51,088
Oh, that show stinks.
It stinks like stink flaps.
41
00:01:51,155 --> 00:01:53,026
Come on, Bart.
We're going to Moe's.
42
00:01:53,059 --> 00:01:55,030
No Moe's on a school night.
43
00:01:55,063 --> 00:01:56,332
[both groan]
44
00:01:56,332 --> 00:02:00,073
♪ Do-do-do-do-do,
do-do-do-do-do... ♪
45
00:02:00,107 --> 00:02:01,009
That's Keagan.
46
00:02:01,109 --> 00:02:03,881
I had such a crush
on Shawn Garrett Evanson.
47
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:07,221
He was just poured into
that puka shell necklace.
48
00:02:07,221 --> 00:02:10,260
Mom. Shh, it's starting.
49
00:02:11,963 --> 00:02:14,903
Manliest shows for manly men.
50
00:02:14,936 --> 00:02:17,040
Hmm, Clincher.
51
00:02:17,074 --> 00:02:20,113
"Ex-Ranger, ex-CIA,
ex-Navy SEAL John Clinch
52
00:02:20,180 --> 00:02:22,919
"doles out his own brand
of justice
53
00:02:22,953 --> 00:02:23,988
with his fists."
54
00:02:24,055 --> 00:02:26,092
Buddy, you had me at "fists."
55
00:02:26,092 --> 00:02:27,194
[grunting, blows landing
on laptop]
56
00:02:27,227 --> 00:02:29,131
Wow, not wasting any time.
57
00:02:29,198 --> 00:02:32,004
Shh. Punching.
58
00:02:32,071 --> 00:02:33,339
[acoustic guitar playing on TV]
59
00:02:34,977 --> 00:02:36,747
Keagan, what's wrong?
60
00:02:36,780 --> 00:02:38,951
Everyone's saying you cried
at swim practice.
61
00:02:38,985 --> 00:02:39,987
I don't want to talk about...
62
00:02:39,987 --> 00:02:41,222
[crying]
It's my dad.
63
00:02:41,255 --> 00:02:43,761
He says
film school's for sissies.
64
00:02:43,794 --> 00:02:45,998
He wants me to be
a wedding planner just like him.
65
00:02:45,998 --> 00:02:47,835
Hey, Scorsese.
66
00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:51,342
Come down and help your old man
with his centerpieces.
67
00:02:52,979 --> 00:02:54,081
-Let's go.
-Where?
68
00:02:54,115 --> 00:02:56,352
A place where we're always safe.
69
00:02:58,156 --> 00:03:00,026
Why are you so good to me?
70
00:03:00,093 --> 00:03:02,030
'Cause I'm with you
for the long haul.
71
00:03:02,097 --> 00:03:04,034
As long as there's
a pond and a ladder,
72
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,338
I'll be there.
73
00:03:09,011 --> 00:03:10,113
Whoa!
74
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:12,051
[both shout]
75
00:03:12,117 --> 00:03:13,286
[gasps]
76
00:03:13,286 --> 00:03:19,131
♪ Do-do-do-do-do,
do-do-do-do-do ♪
77
00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:22,805
♪ Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do. ♪
78
00:03:22,805 --> 00:03:25,812
He can't go to jail.
He'll miss junior prom.
79
00:03:25,812 --> 00:03:28,985
Please tell me
we have the season two DVD.
80
00:03:29,018 --> 00:03:31,255
Hmm, maybe in the attic.
81
00:03:32,190 --> 00:03:35,030
[grunting, blows landing
on laptop]
82
00:03:35,063 --> 00:03:36,399
Found it.
83
00:03:36,432 --> 00:03:40,473
Oh, I forgot about this season's
unfortunate haircuts.
84
00:03:41,877 --> 00:03:45,049
Whoa, this looks just like
the dress Laney wore
85
00:03:45,083 --> 00:03:47,020
when she got drunk
on cough syrup
86
00:03:47,054 --> 00:03:49,091
and blew her Juilliard audition.
87
00:03:49,158 --> 00:03:51,162
I was trying to look
just like her.
88
00:03:51,195 --> 00:03:52,498
I guess we all were.
89
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:53,967
[sighs]
90
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:57,208
All these old clothes are
actually kind of trendy again.
91
00:03:57,275 --> 00:04:00,246
You know, I bet
that would fit you.
92
00:04:02,051 --> 00:04:04,088
-[grunts]
-Hmm.
93
00:04:04,155 --> 00:04:05,223
[gasps]
Oh.
94
00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:07,294
You look just like a little me,
95
00:04:07,327 --> 00:04:10,200
trying to look like
a little Sarah Jennifer Judson.
96
00:04:10,234 --> 00:04:12,171
You should wear that to school.
97
00:04:12,204 --> 00:04:13,975
I don't know, Mom.
I've kind of gotten
98
00:04:14,008 --> 00:04:17,347
used to flying under the radar,
you know, attention-wise.
99
00:04:17,347 --> 00:04:19,451
But it's cute.
100
00:04:21,088 --> 00:04:23,861
It kind of is.
101
00:04:23,894 --> 00:04:25,230
And then,
and then Clincher was like,
102
00:04:25,263 --> 00:04:26,365
"Peace be with you, Father,"
103
00:04:26,365 --> 00:04:28,203
but he meant "piece" like a gun.
104
00:04:28,236 --> 00:04:31,041
Then he punched
the priest with the gun.
105
00:04:31,075 --> 00:04:33,046
Oh, wow.
106
00:04:33,079 --> 00:04:33,981
Time for work, dear.
107
00:04:34,014 --> 00:04:36,185
The Clinker will be here
when you get home.
108
00:04:36,219 --> 00:04:38,323
It's not Clinker, Marge,
it's Clincher.
109
00:04:38,356 --> 00:04:41,295
Thank God
she's good-looking, right?
110
00:04:42,097 --> 00:04:43,333
[Lisa]
I don't know about this, Mom.
111
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:46,238
Oh, Lisa. You're adorable.
112
00:04:46,272 --> 00:04:50,113
I guess,
but what if someone looks at me?
113
00:04:50,147 --> 00:04:52,284
Oh, no one's gonna look at you.
114
00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:54,155
[groans]
115
00:04:54,221 --> 00:04:56,358
[overlapping shouting]
116
00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:58,496
[shouting stops]
117
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:03,006
[groans]
118
00:05:03,039 --> 00:05:06,279
How cute was Lisa
in her '90s look, Maggie?
119
00:05:06,345 --> 00:05:08,250
Pretty fly, I thought.
120
00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:11,155
It's so funny
how things come back in style,
121
00:05:11,222 --> 00:05:12,892
like the word "fly."
122
00:05:12,926 --> 00:05:15,898
And she was worried about what
the other kids would think.
123
00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:18,871
They'll think she's cute
as a button, right?
124
00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:22,011
Right? Why, I bet wearing
your mom's clothes
125
00:05:22,044 --> 00:05:27,087
is as cool today as it was
when I was a girl.
126
00:05:27,120 --> 00:05:29,125
[gasps]
What have I done?
127
00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:30,460
[pants]
128
00:05:34,268 --> 00:05:36,940
Janey, do you think
this outfit looks okay?
129
00:05:37,007 --> 00:05:40,113
Uh, we're all waiting
to hear what we think...
130
00:05:40,146 --> 00:05:42,117
from them.
131
00:05:42,117 --> 00:05:44,121
[Devin]
Move.
132
00:05:47,595 --> 00:05:49,131
[gulps]
133
00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:50,534
[tires screech]
134
00:05:50,534 --> 00:05:54,141
[panting] Please don't be
getting consoled by the janitor.
135
00:05:54,943 --> 00:05:58,149
Hmm, retro vibes
but still of the moment.
136
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,387
It tells a story, and that story
137
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:02,490
is "look at my outfit."
138
00:06:03,293 --> 00:06:04,295
It works!
139
00:06:04,328 --> 00:06:05,631
[cheering]
140
00:06:07,301 --> 00:06:11,242
Ah, she took a risk,
and it paid off.
141
00:06:11,275 --> 00:06:13,246
I can't believe it.
142
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:16,620
My little girl is fashionable.
143
00:06:22,097 --> 00:06:24,268
And then at lunch, when
I went up to return my tray,
144
00:06:24,302 --> 00:06:26,139
everyone clapped.
[laughs]
145
00:06:26,172 --> 00:06:28,175
Oh, no, I can't go back
146
00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:29,713
to this dress
147
00:06:29,746 --> 00:06:31,984
that we bought at... CVS?
148
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:35,056
Please tell me
you have one more cool outfit.
149
00:06:35,090 --> 00:06:37,829
Oh, I can do better than that.
150
00:06:37,863 --> 00:06:40,199
["The Bomb" by the Bucketheads
playing]
151
00:06:41,903 --> 00:06:46,947
-♪ Whoo, whoo! ♪
-♪ Street sounds swirling
through my mind ♪
152
00:06:46,980 --> 00:06:51,188
♪ Street sounds
swirling through my mind ♪
153
00:06:53,059 --> 00:06:55,063
♪ Mind ♪
154
00:06:57,033 --> 00:06:59,037
♪ Mind. ♪
155
00:07:00,039 --> 00:07:01,977
Hey, new kid.
156
00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:03,881
Huh? Me? Oh, I'm not new.
157
00:07:03,915 --> 00:07:05,751
I didn't ask
for your life story, new kid.
158
00:07:05,785 --> 00:07:07,153
I'm Devin.
Spelled like "heaven,"
159
00:07:07,153 --> 00:07:10,127
but with a "D" and no "A"
and an "I" for the second "E."
160
00:07:10,193 --> 00:07:12,097
Of course, you know Vidalia.
161
00:07:12,130 --> 00:07:13,199
No, we've never met.
162
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,903
Lisa, darling.
[kisses]
163
00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:17,007
We were worried
you might be a one-fit wonder,
164
00:07:17,007 --> 00:07:19,211
but we've been loving
the vintage looks.
165
00:07:19,244 --> 00:07:22,183
Welcome to Fashion Club.
166
00:07:22,217 --> 00:07:23,887
You guys meet in the music room?
167
00:07:23,921 --> 00:07:26,258
We took it over
when Mr. Largo died.
168
00:07:26,325 --> 00:07:28,797
Mr. Largo died?
169
00:07:28,864 --> 00:07:31,102
Or he has jury duty?
It was something dumb.
170
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,772
Honey, I love your eye.
171
00:07:32,806 --> 00:07:35,110
You're coming thrifting
with us this Saturday.
172
00:07:35,110 --> 00:07:36,212
Let's see you in action.
173
00:07:36,245 --> 00:07:38,149
Oh, that sounds fun.
174
00:07:38,216 --> 00:07:39,786
Downtown, noon.
175
00:07:39,820 --> 00:07:42,291
You better like boba,
or I swear to God...
176
00:07:43,092 --> 00:07:46,231
Terri, I didn't know
you were in Fashion Club.
177
00:07:46,265 --> 00:07:47,100
Where's Sherri?
178
00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,240
Please. Have you ever
seen Sherri slay?
179
00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:52,211
Or so much as serve?
180
00:07:52,244 --> 00:07:54,114
Keep walking, Kmart.
181
00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,087
[motorcycle engine roaring]
182
00:07:57,121 --> 00:07:58,290
[tires screech]
183
00:07:58,323 --> 00:08:02,097
Guess which fist I'm gonna
punch you off your chopper with.
184
00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:04,001
-Huh?
-Wrong.
185
00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:05,103
[both grunt]
186
00:08:05,137 --> 00:08:05,938
[laughs]
187
00:08:05,972 --> 00:08:08,276
Hope that ambulance
has medicine.
188
00:08:08,309 --> 00:08:10,146
Homer, we need your help.
189
00:08:10,146 --> 00:08:10,981
Smitty's trapped between two...
190
00:08:11,048 --> 00:08:13,286
[grunting, blows landing
on tablet]
191
00:08:13,319 --> 00:08:15,157
He's running out of oxygen.
192
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:16,258
Ooh.
193
00:08:16,325 --> 00:08:19,131
-[alarm rings]
-[grunting and punching
continue]
194
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,300
[alarm stops]
195
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,070
Lisa, look what's coming
196
00:08:22,103 --> 00:08:25,244
to the Springfield Convention
Center this Saturday.
197
00:08:25,277 --> 00:08:26,847
Hmm?
198
00:08:26,914 --> 00:08:29,085
"Your favorite
TV stars from the '90s
199
00:08:29,118 --> 00:08:32,057
in varying degrees
of recognizability."
200
00:08:32,091 --> 00:08:35,163
And there's going to be
a Keagan's Pond meet-and-greet
201
00:08:35,197 --> 00:08:36,934
at 2:00.
202
00:08:36,967 --> 00:08:41,175
Uh, Saturday?
Mm, I sort of have plans.
203
00:08:41,175 --> 00:08:41,977
[sighs sadly]
204
00:08:42,044 --> 00:08:46,185
But I can totally
meet you at 2:00.
205
00:08:46,185 --> 00:08:48,055
Mom and daughter day.
206
00:08:48,089 --> 00:08:49,324
Great.
[gasps]
207
00:08:49,324 --> 00:08:51,997
My Frank Paul donkey shirt.
208
00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:54,903
I had so many great memories
with it.
209
00:08:54,970 --> 00:08:58,042
And thanks to you,
I have one more.
210
00:08:58,075 --> 00:08:59,178
[Marge sighs happily]
211
00:08:59,178 --> 00:09:00,380
Aw.
212
00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:04,087
Okay, if I'm gonna go shopping,
I'm gonna need some money.
213
00:09:05,324 --> 00:09:06,993
$28.
214
00:09:06,993 --> 00:09:10,066
That should be more than enough
to get a couple of cute fits
215
00:09:10,100 --> 00:09:11,336
at a thrift store.
216
00:09:11,336 --> 00:09:13,139
A hundred dollars?!
217
00:09:13,172 --> 00:09:16,145
For a T-shirt of an airline
that doesn't exist anymore?
218
00:09:16,179 --> 00:09:19,217
Why is everything here
so expensive?
219
00:09:19,251 --> 00:09:20,888
Uh, shop much?
220
00:09:20,922 --> 00:09:22,290
This is how
the world of thrifting works.
221
00:09:22,290 --> 00:09:25,130
Some used-up 40-year-old
donates a box full of clothes
222
00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:27,935
from when she mattered,
then someone cool but scary
223
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,171
slaps a huge price tag on it.
224
00:09:29,237 --> 00:09:32,344
So thrift stores aren't
for poor people anymore?
225
00:09:32,377 --> 00:09:35,016
Oh, sweetheart, nothing is.
226
00:09:35,016 --> 00:09:37,354
What a racket.
Let's ditch this place.
227
00:09:37,387 --> 00:09:40,193
I have a better idea.
228
00:09:43,165 --> 00:09:46,406
Hmm, everyone's either had
way too much work done
229
00:09:46,472 --> 00:09:48,342
or not nearly enough.
230
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:49,612
[gasps]
231
00:09:51,248 --> 00:09:52,384
S.G.E.!
232
00:09:52,384 --> 00:09:54,923
I can't believe
I beat the crowds.
233
00:09:54,956 --> 00:09:56,158
Who am I making
this out to, sweetheart?
234
00:09:56,192 --> 00:09:59,398
Oh, actually, I-I wanted
to get a picture
235
00:09:59,431 --> 00:10:01,268
of you, me and my daughter.
236
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:02,905
That counts as two selfies.
237
00:10:02,939 --> 00:10:04,174
I'm sure
she'll be here any second.
238
00:10:04,174 --> 00:10:07,014
No worries. I can tell you
all about my lawsuit
239
00:10:07,047 --> 00:10:09,285
against the makers of
the Keagan's Pond slot machine.
240
00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:11,155
It's rigged against me.
241
00:10:11,221 --> 00:10:12,391
♪ Do-do-do-do-do ♪
242
00:10:12,424 --> 00:10:15,397
♪ Da-da-da-da-da ♪
243
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:19,939
♪ Da-da-da-da-da, ooh. ♪
244
00:10:19,973 --> 00:10:21,075
Look, I got to get out of here,
245
00:10:21,075 --> 00:10:22,411
or these jerks
are gonna charge me
246
00:10:22,444 --> 00:10:24,281
a full-day table rental.
247
00:10:24,314 --> 00:10:26,185
I can't believe it.
248
00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:27,187
Lisa stood me up.
249
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:29,993
Sounds like
your afternoon is free.
250
00:10:30,060 --> 00:10:32,163
Ever done it in a men's shelter?
251
00:10:32,197 --> 00:10:33,332
[grunts angrily]
252
00:10:35,505 --> 00:10:37,441
Ah.
253
00:10:37,508 --> 00:10:39,444
Ugh. Lisa, you are so lucky
254
00:10:39,512 --> 00:10:41,215
your mom kept
all her old clothes.
255
00:10:41,248 --> 00:10:44,321
My mom sent all her cool looks
to the victims of some flood.
256
00:10:44,387 --> 00:10:45,958
So selfish.
257
00:10:45,991 --> 00:10:48,429
I mean, look at how cool
all the moms used to be.
258
00:10:48,462 --> 00:10:50,968
I bet every mom in town
259
00:10:51,001 --> 00:10:54,208
has an attic full of
forgotten vintage clothes.
260
00:10:54,274 --> 00:10:55,443
I never thought of that.
261
00:10:55,476 --> 00:10:56,980
[gasps]
262
00:10:57,013 --> 00:10:59,351
This would be so cute
as a crop top.
263
00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:01,322
Oh, maybe don't...
264
00:11:01,322 --> 00:11:02,323
Uh...
265
00:11:02,323 --> 00:11:04,428
What the heck is going on here?
266
00:11:04,461 --> 00:11:05,430
Mom.
267
00:11:05,463 --> 00:11:07,000
I waited for you for hours.
268
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,104
I met Keagan. It was unsettling.
269
00:11:09,138 --> 00:11:11,977
And the whole time you were
here, defiling my clothes
270
00:11:12,010 --> 00:11:13,479
with the cast of Euphoria?
271
00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:15,216
Oh, well, I-I didn't think
272
00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:17,020
you were ever gonna
wear this stuff again.
273
00:11:17,087 --> 00:11:19,424
I mean, it doesn't even
fit you anymore.
274
00:11:19,458 --> 00:11:21,329
-[others snickering]
-Ooh.
275
00:11:21,362 --> 00:11:23,366
Excuse me?
276
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,237
And even if it did fit,
277
00:11:25,270 --> 00:11:29,110
you're not cool enough
to pull it off.
278
00:11:29,144 --> 00:11:32,217
That's it.
I'm taking it all back.
279
00:11:32,250 --> 00:11:34,220
[grunting]
280
00:11:34,254 --> 00:11:35,490
Now who's cool?
281
00:11:35,490 --> 00:11:36,491
You, ma'am.
282
00:11:36,526 --> 00:11:39,464
Now make like a banana and peel.
283
00:11:39,498 --> 00:11:42,337
I get it in context, I guess.
284
00:11:47,514 --> 00:11:50,353
Lisa! Hey, girlie. Want to hang?
285
00:11:50,353 --> 00:11:51,288
You still want to hang?
286
00:11:51,355 --> 00:11:55,263
Even after my mom
totally mommed out on us?
287
00:11:55,330 --> 00:11:56,432
[laughs]
Please.
288
00:11:56,432 --> 00:11:58,504
We don't ditch people
just for having crazy mothers.
289
00:11:58,537 --> 00:12:01,074
My mom once set fire
to a piano store
290
00:12:01,141 --> 00:12:03,379
because she was trying to get
a news anchor's attention.
291
00:12:03,412 --> 00:12:05,316
Ugh. Mission accomplished.
292
00:12:05,349 --> 00:12:07,521
Come on, we're gonna party
at a friend's house.
293
00:12:07,555 --> 00:12:09,191
Ooh, a party?
294
00:12:09,224 --> 00:12:12,297
Playing Candy Land
with Ralph is a party?
295
00:12:12,330 --> 00:12:15,369
Totally. You're stuck
in Molasses Swamp again.
296
00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:17,174
I like swamp.
297
00:12:17,207 --> 00:12:20,347
Terri's been in the bathroom
for a while.
298
00:12:20,380 --> 00:12:21,281
I'm gonna go check on her.
299
00:12:21,315 --> 00:12:24,321
If you see Ralph
in the mirror, say hi.
300
00:12:24,321 --> 00:12:27,327
You know, Vidalia's been
checking on Terri for a while.
301
00:12:27,327 --> 00:12:31,268
I'm gonna go check on Vidalia
checking on Terri.
302
00:12:31,302 --> 00:12:33,306
Uh, that's weird.
303
00:12:33,372 --> 00:12:34,407
Time to go.
304
00:12:34,441 --> 00:12:36,546
What? Oh, okay.
305
00:12:36,546 --> 00:12:38,550
I'm popular.
306
00:12:40,454 --> 00:12:41,422
Why are we leaving?
307
00:12:41,455 --> 00:12:43,292
And why did we come?
308
00:12:43,325 --> 00:12:45,430
Shh. Man, what a haul.
309
00:12:45,463 --> 00:12:46,365
Vintage Abercrombie flannel,
310
00:12:46,365 --> 00:12:49,305
Guess overalls,
spaghetti strap dress.
311
00:12:49,371 --> 00:12:50,206
[gasps]
312
00:12:50,206 --> 00:12:53,212
You stole
Mrs. Wiggum's old clothes?
313
00:12:53,246 --> 00:12:56,419
It was just sitting in an attic,
totally forgotten,
314
00:12:56,419 --> 00:12:58,189
just like you said.
315
00:12:58,222 --> 00:12:59,559
Great job as lookout,
by the way.
316
00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:02,330
Oh, God. I was an accessory?
317
00:13:02,397 --> 00:13:04,569
No, this is an accessory.
318
00:13:04,569 --> 00:13:06,338
[screams]
319
00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:09,477
Ugh, you're right. You really
don't have the head shape.
320
00:13:15,591 --> 00:13:17,962
Okay, okay, we're thieves.
321
00:13:17,995 --> 00:13:20,133
I'm a thief.
I'm in a gang of thieves.
322
00:13:20,166 --> 00:13:23,005
I'm gonna go to jail,
and they'll give me a tattoo
323
00:13:23,072 --> 00:13:25,276
and I won't even get to pick it.
324
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:26,946
Girlie, relax.
325
00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:29,986
You had a genius idea.
We just executed it.
326
00:13:29,986 --> 00:13:32,123
We're keeping these poor,
neglected clothes
327
00:13:32,156 --> 00:13:35,029
out of the greedy clutches
of Big Thrift.
328
00:13:35,096 --> 00:13:37,968
And we're recycling old clothes
329
00:13:38,002 --> 00:13:40,006
instead of supporting
fast fashion.
330
00:13:40,006 --> 00:13:44,014
It's a victimless crime,
which is the second-best kind.
331
00:13:44,014 --> 00:13:45,483
But it's still a crime...
332
00:13:47,454 --> 00:13:50,026
...to look this good.
333
00:13:50,059 --> 00:13:52,030
I mean, it is a shame
to just let
334
00:13:52,030 --> 00:13:54,168
such cool clothes go to waste.
335
00:13:54,201 --> 00:13:58,142
It's not like Mrs. Wiggum was
gonna pass them down to Ralph.
336
00:13:58,176 --> 00:14:00,146
[gasps]
Lisa, you're a genius again.
337
00:14:00,180 --> 00:14:03,052
We'll only hit boy moms' houses
from now on.
338
00:14:03,119 --> 00:14:07,360
Oh, stealing from more moms?
I don't know.
339
00:14:07,394 --> 00:14:08,496
[phone chimes]
340
00:14:08,496 --> 00:14:09,497
[Lisa sighs]
341
00:14:09,497 --> 00:14:11,135
[Marge]
Hey, fashion girl,
342
00:14:11,168 --> 00:14:13,172
this is your basic mom.
343
00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:16,011
Don't forget you have
a dentist appointment today.
344
00:14:16,044 --> 00:14:18,516
Hope you're not too trendy
to sanitize your retainer.
345
00:14:18,516 --> 00:14:19,518
[grunts angrily]
346
00:14:19,518 --> 00:14:21,155
I'm in, but if we're gonna hit
347
00:14:21,188 --> 00:14:23,192
every boy mom house in town,
348
00:14:23,226 --> 00:14:26,064
we can't do it
one awkward playdate at a time.
349
00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:29,237
We need to get all the moms
out of the house at once.
350
00:14:29,237 --> 00:14:30,172
But how?
351
00:14:30,206 --> 00:14:32,009
[Skinner]
Attention, students.
352
00:14:32,043 --> 00:14:34,281
Don't forget Saturday is
the mother-son dance.
353
00:14:34,314 --> 00:14:37,487
So put on your boogie shoes
and mother-respecting bow tis
354
00:14:37,521 --> 00:14:40,059
and get ready to par-tay.
355
00:14:40,059 --> 00:14:42,363
Oh, I'm sorry, I misread that.
356
00:14:42,397 --> 00:14:43,298
-Party.
-Ugh.
357
00:14:43,332 --> 00:14:46,506
Thank God my mom's
in jail for piano arson.
358
00:14:46,540 --> 00:14:48,176
This is perfect.
359
00:14:48,209 --> 00:14:50,413
All the moms
will be out of the house.
360
00:14:50,413 --> 00:14:52,117
But what about the dads?
361
00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:54,522
I know just how to distract 'em.
362
00:14:54,556 --> 00:14:56,324
[grunts, screams]
363
00:14:56,358 --> 00:14:59,297
That's for checking my prostate.
364
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:01,068
[Bart]
No.
365
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,203
[both grunting frantically]
366
00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:05,210
You can't make me go.
367
00:15:05,243 --> 00:15:07,213
Oh, come on.
It's not gonna kill you
368
00:15:07,247 --> 00:15:10,219
to slow-dance with your mother
in front of your friends.
369
00:15:10,252 --> 00:15:12,290
We don't know that for sure.
370
00:15:13,126 --> 00:15:15,096
Mother. Nice dress.
371
00:15:15,096 --> 00:15:17,401
Thank you. I'm glad it fits.
372
00:15:17,434 --> 00:15:18,537
[quietly]
Barely.
373
00:15:18,570 --> 00:15:20,073
Why, you little....
374
00:15:20,106 --> 00:15:22,110
-[grunts]
-Break it up. Break it up.
375
00:15:22,110 --> 00:15:24,114
Forget it, Mom,
she's not worth it.
376
00:15:24,114 --> 00:15:25,349
[groans]
Come on,
377
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,554
let's go to the stupid dance.
378
00:15:29,124 --> 00:15:31,095
There's a lasagna in the fridge.
379
00:15:31,128 --> 00:15:33,432
Eat around the beef.
380
00:15:37,407 --> 00:15:38,275
These are the houses
381
00:15:38,342 --> 00:15:40,213
of Springfield's
former fashion hotties.
382
00:15:40,246 --> 00:15:41,348
The moms are at the dance.
383
00:15:41,382 --> 00:15:44,454
And I've got the dad distractor.
384
00:15:53,372 --> 00:15:54,441
He's Clinched.
385
00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:56,344
Let's go shopping.
386
00:15:59,350 --> 00:16:01,354
[grunting on TV]
387
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:08,469
[lion roars on TV]
388
00:16:08,503 --> 00:16:10,507
[grunting]
389
00:16:18,523 --> 00:16:20,359
[snaps]
390
00:16:24,367 --> 00:16:25,504
[music playing]
391
00:16:25,504 --> 00:16:28,475
This dance is so lovely.
392
00:16:28,510 --> 00:16:29,410
Whose idea was it?
393
00:16:29,444 --> 00:16:31,281
Well, Mother and I
have been going through
394
00:16:31,314 --> 00:16:32,149
a bit of a rough patch,
395
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:35,223
and our couples counselor
suggested it.
396
00:16:35,290 --> 00:16:38,196
Seymour, I didn't wear
my fancy orthopedics
397
00:16:38,196 --> 00:16:39,330
for you to chitchat.
398
00:16:39,364 --> 00:16:42,538
I asked the DJ
to play "Hungry Eyes."
399
00:16:42,605 --> 00:16:44,341
Bart, "Hungry Eyes."
400
00:16:44,407 --> 00:16:46,211
-["Hungry Eyes"
by Eric Carmen playing]
-Hmm?
401
00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:48,182
-You'll never catch me alive!
-[gasps]
402
00:16:48,182 --> 00:16:51,488
♪ Hungry eyes... ♪
403
00:16:52,357 --> 00:16:55,229
Bart, if you don't
boogie with me,
404
00:16:55,296 --> 00:16:58,536
I'll lead a mom dance
in the center of the gym.
405
00:16:59,638 --> 00:17:02,545
Aha!
[gasps]
406
00:17:02,578 --> 00:17:03,680
Huh?
407
00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,354
Okay, this is the big score.
408
00:17:07,387 --> 00:17:09,692
The mother lode
of mother clothes.
409
00:17:09,692 --> 00:17:12,363
Martin Prince's mom.
410
00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:15,236
I heard her sister used
to manage an Aeropostale
411
00:17:15,236 --> 00:17:17,642
and had a ten percent discount.
412
00:17:17,675 --> 00:17:19,545
-Whoa.
-Whoa.
-Whoa.
413
00:17:19,579 --> 00:17:21,682
Let's do this.
414
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:31,368
Oh, my God.
415
00:17:31,401 --> 00:17:34,575
These sick freaks
don't have a TV.
416
00:17:36,245 --> 00:17:37,681
Come on, pick up, pick up.
417
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:40,486
[phone buzzes]
418
00:17:44,595 --> 00:17:46,365
[gasps]
419
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,670
Spice Girls tour jacket.
420
00:17:48,704 --> 00:17:50,239
Jelly sandals.
421
00:17:50,273 --> 00:17:53,478
Sweatpants with words
written on the butt.
422
00:17:54,347 --> 00:17:55,617
-[objects clatter]
-Hmm?
423
00:18:00,527 --> 00:18:04,267
Old Man Prince is on the move.
Get out of there.
424
00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:07,473
Guys, we got to go.
We can climb down from here.
425
00:18:07,508 --> 00:18:08,609
[alarm ringing]
426
00:18:13,418 --> 00:18:15,590
[gasps]
Mom's shirt.
427
00:18:17,561 --> 00:18:19,331
[deep voice]
Attention, intruders.
428
00:18:19,398 --> 00:18:20,667
We know you're in the house.
429
00:18:20,734 --> 00:18:22,604
Police are on their way.
430
00:18:26,646 --> 00:18:27,413
Oh, no.
431
00:18:27,447 --> 00:18:29,417
Exit the premises immediately.
432
00:18:29,450 --> 00:18:32,289
I know that the neighbors
always have a lot of cash.
433
00:18:32,323 --> 00:18:34,528
[voice shaking]
They hide a key
in the flower pot.
434
00:18:34,595 --> 00:18:35,563
[siren wailing]
435
00:18:35,563 --> 00:18:38,302
Aw, how did I ever
rationalize this
436
00:18:38,335 --> 00:18:41,341
as anything other
than a literal crime?
437
00:18:41,408 --> 00:18:44,648
I'm not a fashionista,
I'm a criminal.
438
00:18:44,648 --> 00:18:47,286
[crying]
439
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:48,322
[ladder clatters]
440
00:18:48,355 --> 00:18:50,360
M-Mom?
[sniffles]
441
00:18:50,426 --> 00:18:52,297
I'll explain in the dinghy.
442
00:18:52,330 --> 00:18:53,332
Where did you get a dinghy?
443
00:18:53,366 --> 00:18:55,302
Do you want to escape or not?
444
00:18:55,336 --> 00:18:56,639
-[grunts]
-Whoa!
445
00:18:56,673 --> 00:18:58,509
[siren wailing]
446
00:18:58,509 --> 00:18:59,344
[tires screech]
447
00:18:59,411 --> 00:19:01,348
While I'm busy
get-away-paddling,
448
00:19:01,415 --> 00:19:04,755
why don't you tell me
what were you thinking?
449
00:19:04,789 --> 00:19:06,358
I'm so sorry, Mom.
450
00:19:06,425 --> 00:19:08,663
You just wanted to bond with me,
451
00:19:08,697 --> 00:19:10,433
and I ruined it.
452
00:19:10,466 --> 00:19:12,638
I'm such terrible daughter.
453
00:19:12,672 --> 00:19:14,474
[crying]
454
00:19:14,508 --> 00:19:18,315
Remember, "I'm with you
for the long haul.
455
00:19:18,348 --> 00:19:22,824
As long as there's a pond
and a ladder, I'll be there."
456
00:19:24,494 --> 00:19:26,799
Wait, how did
you know I was here?
457
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,337
A mother always knows...
458
00:19:29,371 --> 00:19:32,644
is the name of the kid-tracking
app I put on your phone.
459
00:19:32,678 --> 00:19:34,314
[Lisa]
Oh.
460
00:19:34,347 --> 00:19:36,317
I also track
your brother on here.
461
00:19:36,351 --> 00:19:38,322
See, he's still at the dance.
462
00:19:38,355 --> 00:19:39,457
Hey, this is actually
kind of fun
463
00:19:39,490 --> 00:19:41,361
when it's not your own mom.
464
00:19:41,361 --> 00:19:42,832
Dip me, handsome.
465
00:19:42,832 --> 00:19:43,833
Mm!
466
00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:47,508
Hey, the lady came with me.
467
00:19:47,541 --> 00:19:50,379
The sirens stopped.
Where are the cops?
468
00:19:50,379 --> 00:19:54,555
Your father said he'd take
care of them Clincher style.
469
00:19:54,621 --> 00:19:56,491
[officer on tablet]
You're under arrest, Clinche.
470
00:19:56,526 --> 00:19:59,832
[Clincher]
Do I have the right
to remain violent?
471
00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,736
[blows landing]
472
00:20:01,736 --> 00:20:02,571
[cheering]
473
00:20:02,638 --> 00:20:05,511
Yeah! Take that,
you stupid pigs.
474
00:20:05,544 --> 00:20:07,715
So, your mom
didn't even yell at you?
475
00:20:07,748 --> 00:20:09,484
Wow, she's pretty cool.
476
00:20:09,518 --> 00:20:12,423
Well, I am grounded
for the next eight months.
477
00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,427
But when that's over,
do you guys want
478
00:20:14,494 --> 00:20:16,699
to come over
and watch Keagan's Pond?
479
00:20:16,733 --> 00:20:18,401
It's really good.
480
00:20:18,401 --> 00:20:21,441
Ew, why would anyone watch
a show from the '90s?
481
00:20:21,509 --> 00:20:23,847
I love that dress, by the way.
482
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,552
Oh, this? Oh, thanks.
483
00:20:26,586 --> 00:20:29,424
I've had it literally forever.
484
00:20:29,457 --> 00:20:32,430
-[horn honks]
-Pick up the pace, people.
485
00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,401
I want everything
you stole returned
486
00:20:34,434 --> 00:20:35,737
by the end of the day.
487
00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:37,841
Well, almost everything.
488
00:20:37,875 --> 00:20:39,845
[giggles]
Ooh.
489
00:20:39,879 --> 00:20:44,421
♪ Hungry eyes ♪
490
00:20:44,421 --> 00:20:46,892
♪ I feel the magic
between you and I. ♪
491
00:20:52,203 --> 00:20:57,179
♪ I'm not gonna age
'cause I'll be young forever ♪
492
00:20:57,179 --> 00:20:59,317
♪ I'll be in high school ♪
493
00:20:59,317 --> 00:21:02,356
♪ For eternity ♪
494
00:21:02,423 --> 00:21:04,361
♪ I'm not gonna age ♪
495
00:21:04,427 --> 00:21:08,335
♪ And we'll always be together ♪
496
00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:12,443
♪ In a sort
of teenage purgatory ♪
497
00:21:12,443 --> 00:21:14,214
♪ Da-da-da-da-da ♪
498
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:19,357
♪ Do-do-do-do-do,
do-do-do-do-do ♪
499
00:21:19,423 --> 00:21:23,332
♪ Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do ♪
500
00:21:23,366 --> 00:21:29,678
♪ Do-do-do... ♪
501
00:21:35,223 --> 00:21:36,224
Shh!
34911
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof