All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S05E01.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

an enhanced bum, and some
home truths from Joan Collins.

The tans you see might be fake,
but the people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been set up purely
for your entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way Is
Essex.

[whistling]

- We weren't right together,
Arch.

It hurts, but I cannot be with
you.

- I love you and I've
always cared for you,

and all you do is throw it in my
face.

- I'm sorry, but it doesn't look

like I'm gonna make the party.

That's a bit disappointing,
isn't it?

Oh my God.

[group cheering]

Meet Charlie.

- I'll say one thing.
- What?

- He's not gay.

[doorbell ringing]

- Oh my God, James.

- Happy Birthday, Debbie.

- I can't believe it.

Look at ya, you're half the
size the man I last saw.

- I've worked hard, didn't I?

- How much weight have you lost,
James?

They for me?

Oh, thank you.
- Happy Birthday.

I've done a bit, you know?

- About three stone?

- I've worked hard, so I'm
feeling good about myself.

- [laughing] Your teeth
look absolutely fantastic.

- Cheers, Debbie.

- I'm really, really proud of
you.

I'm so proud of you.

You've done really well, and
thank you for my flowers.

- I was just passing by to
wish you a happy birthday

and let you know I'm
still thinking of you.

I'm off to meet the boys now,

but we'll catch up properly
soon.

All right, cool.

- See you later darling.

You take care.

See you, James.
- Bye.

- You're looking good, ooh.

- Oh my God, we got so
much to do before tonight.

- Oh, I'm so nervous.

Listen, have you heard
what she's done, Luc?

- Lucy, listen to what we've
done.

- She has put me up as part of
the auction

for people to bid a day with me.

- [Lucy] Shut up.

- [Billi] Who would you like
to actually win it, then?

Who would be your best and
who would be your worst?

- I reckon my worst
would probably be Ricky,

because I've done that date
thing and that didn't work out,

and I don't know who
I'd want my best to be.

- I bet right now we had dates.

- You've got to be kidding.

- How are you, are you all right
now?

- Yeah, we're good, I cuddle the
dog more.

I'm joking.

I don't know what's wrong with
him.

He's going bald and he's got
dandruff.

- They're basically like bald
brothers.

Oh my God, this weather.

Come on, it's gonna really rain.

- Ralph, we need to
put your hood up, mate.

- [Billi] Put his hood up, oh
Ralphie,

Oh, he's the cutest.

- [Gemma] Thanks for breakfast,
babe.

- That was lovely, wasn't it?

- Yeah, do you know what though?

I think we've got to sort
your car situation out,

'cause I know you've
wanted to get a new car,

but this is like a hairdresser's
car.

And you've been hanging out
with Bobby a bit too much lately

and people might start
getting the wrong idea.

I think you need to show
your more manly side.

Would you like my input with it?

'Cause at the end of the day,

I'm the original sales
car girl from Essex.

If I was selling you a
car, I'd see you coming.

- Let's do it, because I
reckon if I walk in there,

- They're gonna pull your
trousers down.

- They are.
- [Gemma] Yeah.

- I think something like a black
Porche.

It's sexy, it's quite small.

- Small and sexy.

I hope that isn't indicating

that your man parts are small,
Charlie.

- Not at all.

- Have you measured it with a
ruler?

- I have, actually, yeah.

I think every boy does.

- Really?
- Yeah, absolutely.

- [Gemma] Are you gonna have
a cup of tea with my mom?

- I've actually got to get
going,

but we're on for later on,
right?

- Where are we going?

- It's a surprise.

- I love surprises.

- Give us a kiss.

- See you later.

- What's he gonna look like,

cause I ain't seen him
in a couple of weeks.

- He bowls in wearing like a
tracksuit,

his man bag, his glasses.

[both snickering]

- How much has he lost, a couple
of stone?

- Two stone?

He was eight stone when
he was sixteen and a half.

- [Diags] I'm glad he is coming
down.

- What's happening, boys?

- [Diags] What are you wearing?

- What do you mean, what am I
wearing?

- Why you got glasses on?

- It's raining mate, you
do realise there's no sun?

- I'm not wearing it to
get the sun out of my eyes.

I'm wearing it for fashion.

- You've actually just sat down.

- What?

- Thought you were gonna stand
there,

do a little speech, go
and do one of them ones.

- Well, I was gonna do a little
oh, oh.

- What's been happening,
what you been doing?

- I've been training for
the marathon, haven't I?

Can you notice a difference?

- Yeah, you look slimmer.

You look slick, you look reem.

- Notice the bit of change in
haircut.

- Eyebrows.
- Eyebrows.

- The teeth, fuck.

- What do you mean, fuck?

Fuck as in good fuck, or bad
fuck?

- Well, obviously good
fuck, it's much better.

- Is this gonna be you the whole
time now,

or are you gonna go back to
that?

- Well yeah, I hope so.

- What do you mean, go back to
that?

- You been doing for
Lydia, or or not, or what?

- Nah, for who?

I'm joking, I've been
doing it for myself, mate.

Eyebrows, eyelashes tinted,
teeth.

- What these are a joke, aren't
they?

- No, they're real,
they cost me a fortune.

You should see my Cartier
ones that I'm wearing tonight.

- What's going on tonight?

- We're going to the, it's
like a pre-marathon party.

- Oh yeah, it's tonight, isn't
it?

Of course it is.

- A marathon party.

- That's tonight, mate.

- It's like a pre-marathon
benefit party.

- Sweet.
- Sweet.

- Sweet.

- It'll make my ass look fatter,
won't it,

'cause of the shape.

- It shapes it in.

- You've lost your bum.

- How do you know I've lost my
bum?

- Because you've gone like,
skinny.

- Padded panties, that's
unbelievable.

[doorbell ringing]

- [Lydia] I'll get it, mom.

- Oh thanks, Lyd.

Oh, I've had such a lovely day.

- Where is she?

Auntie Debs?

- Hello darling.

- Happy Birthday!

You okay?

Here you go.

- Thank you, thank you, darling.

That is lovely, thank you.

- Have you had a nice morning?

- I've had such a lovely
morning.

I've gotten thoroughly
spoiled by my Lydia.

- So who's been around today?

- Everybody, I've had
such a lovely birthday.

- You're so popular, that's why.

- [Lydia] Very spoiled, aren't
you, mom?

- While you was in the bath
Lyd, even James popped 'round.

- I had a feeling he would,
anyway.

- I just didn't recognise him.

- [Lauren] He's been to
boot camp, he's been dieting

and he's lovesick.

He wants Lydia back.

- Anyway, we're gonna go
upstairs.

- Have a lovely day, all right?

I'll see you soon, have a good
day.

- We're gonna go upstairs,
see you in a bit.

- Bye, darling.
- Bye.

- That was a little bit awkward.

Have you seen her since?

- No, that's the first I've
seen her since it happened,

since her and Jessica
had that bit of to-do.

It's just really awkward,

because Jessica's really, really
adamant

about she never wants to go
there again and it's over,

and I just believe in
time she will get over it

and she will learn to forgive,

'cause everybody forgives
at the end of the day.

- I thought I'd say let's go
upstairs,

'cause I didn't want it to be
awkward.

- A bit of a shock, I wasn't
expecting them to be here.

I didn't know where to look kind
of thing,

and just sad, isn't it really,

'cause I've known them for how
long,

and it's like now I feel
like I don't know them,

and it is hard.

- You've just got to think
when you break up with someone

everyone kind of expects you
to be strong and everything

and you put on this
front that you're strong,

when really you just need
people quite around you.

- Definitely, I'm not as
confident

as what people think I am.

I'm unhappy about my weight,

I'm feeling panicky all the
time.

When I did have that panic
attack

and I rung the ambulance and
I felt like I was gonna die,

and I was like, what
is wrong with my body?

I was in bed and I didn't
know what was happening.

I couldn't breathe, my
whole body was trembling.

- There's only so many times
people can put you down

about your weight and things
like that

before it starts getting to you.

- On holiday, I may have
the best holiday ever,

and as soon as I see a picture,

I'm just like oh my God,
is that what I look like?

I hate my legs, so if my legs
are out,

I feel like my stomach's not as
bad,

but it's my legs I don't like,

and that's my newest thing on
the show.

- People's sizes change all the
time.

It's nothing to get upset over.

- Again, I'm doing something
about it.

I'm doing this healthy diet.

- How much do you actually want
to lose?

- Two stone.

- Two stone, how much
do you weigh now, then?

- I think about 11 stone.

I want to be about nine.

- It's gonna be hard work.

- Yeah, it will be hard work.

I'm not drinking now,
even if we go to events,

I'm not drinking, I have water.

I will do it.

- I love you.
- Thank you.

- I'm gonna go with this
one, it looked really nice.

I tried loads on and this is my
favourite.

It looked really nice on me.

- It's lovely colours as well.

- [Jessica] Yeah its
really nice, this one.

- Did you see Lauren's holiday
pictures?

- Yeah.

- Lauren's not fat, but I
think what her problem is,

she always wears things
that don't fit her.

- If she's comfortable wearing
clothes

that might be smaller than what
she is,

then it's up to her, I suppose.

- I would wear like a long
caftan.

- To be honest, I just hate the
atmosphere

and where she's sort of
clubbed together with Frankie

and Cara being out.

I can't stand the playground
bitchiness,

and that's how it feels right
now when I walk in a room.

It's like, come on girls, grow
up.

- To be so awkward as
well, and at the party,

'cause a few weeks ago I snogged
Joey.

I'm not joking.

We were drunk out, and come on,

everyone's done it with an ex.

We had a little silly snog
in the corridor by the lift,

embarrassing, but it happened,

and then he's got his new flat
in Alaska,

and oh, you can make me
dinner, you can make me steak.

Frankie's like, apparently
I'm only interested

because Joey's got a
swimming pool in his flat.

- It just sounds so ridiculous.

- I'm not being funny, but
if you wanted to go swimming,

you can go down to the Brentwood
Centre.

So you and Ricky then,
how's it been left off?

- He does make me laugh, but
I've sort of met someone else.

- Oh, who have you met?

- I'm not telling you.

- Why?
- Tell us.

- I met someone, he's really
nice.

It's early days, I'm just
gonna see what happens.

- Let the fun begin.

[group laughing]

[upbeat music]

- You all right, mom?

- Alright Gem, how are you?

- I'm all right.
- Did you stir it?

- [Gemma] Yeah.
- Oh, thank you.

- You're so bossy, mom.

What are you doing?

- Just putting my plants up.

I want to get them in.

- Enough planting, mom.

- Did you see my plants
in the hospital corner?

- Yeah, they're getting on.

- Well that's really hospice
corner.

- Hospice?
- Yeah because they're slowly,

- Dying.
- Going.

Yeah, so how you getting
on with Charlie, then?

- I don't really know.

Sometimes his eyebrows
shake when I talk to him

and I think I'm making him
nervous.

- Yeah, well you're too loud,
aren't you?

- Do you think that's the
problem, then?

- Well, you are mega loud.

I mean, you do my ear drums in
sometimes.

- But six weeks into a
relationship,

he's not gone to me, oh, come
here baby,

jiggy jiggy, do you know what I
mean?

Nothing has gone on.

When he hasn't like, not
being sick or nothing,

like touched me there or you
know, insinuate anything.

I mean, probably back in your
day,

you waited months before you got
it on,

do you know what I mean?

- Well, you start off the
interaction.

- No.
- Well, don't moan then.

Give him time.

- It's just the passion that's
lacking.

I don't want to live my
life like a freaking nun.

- Well, he might have something
wrong with him down below.

You know, like, whatever.

Just like, ask him.

- You're a good judge of
character.

When I've bought my boyfriends
back,

if you didn't like them,
you'd go round the house

burning the incense in every
room to get the vibe out.

- Yeah, well if I felt really
funny,

I would burn incense in every
room.

- And he's so different from
what I'd normally go out with.

You know how I go out with the
proper fellas, the geezers,

but none of them have
ever really worked out,

so I've gone for someone totally
opposite.

- Yeah, I think he's the
sweetest boy you've ever met.

- Do you think?

- I think he's so lovely.

- Well, Charlie's got something
planned for me tonight.

I don't know what it is.

I'm gonna get dressed up,

and do you think that
I should put it on him?

Shall I kiss him?

- Just be calm, quiet.

Just totally be yourself.

- Basically, tonight's
the night with Charlie,

see what happens.

[dance music]

- I need to sweat all this
poison out.

- Good night though, wasn't it?

Me and Rick were like
bachelors of Brentwood.

- You must be a little bit
jealous of us out, you know?

- I'm not used to it.

I'm only jealous of the fact
about pulling girls in a day.

He doesn't pull shit.

He's like me when I was single.

- People don't like it when
you're single.

They just think oh, you can't
talk

to more than one girl at
once, that's the bad thing.

That's what I mean.

- All the stuff you're
doing now, I've done.

- Aren't you still texting that
Jess?

- Me and Jess are still texting
and that.

- I'm quite impressed with this.

Obviously since it's you I
think he should have a helmet.

He's the helmet now.

Every group's gotta have
one person they banner.

Joey and Arg banner Diags.

- Everyone would banner Diags.

- You don't like Diags?

- We're like the smooth
group compared to them.

- Now we've established that
we've got

a trio bromance going on, we
need a name.

I was thinking Two and a Half
Men?

- Mate, that's harsh, that's
proper harsh.

[group laughing]

Mate, what has happened here?

[upbeat music]

- Bobby, it is amazing.

- Ain't it really deceiving
how big it actually is though?

- It's so deceiving, I love it.

- I just want to get in now,
and get up and running with it.

- I bet, have you thought
colour schemes, is this them?

- This is all it.

We got zebra, which is for
our client waiting area.

- Is it gonna be zebra couches?

- Zebra couches and a
couple of individual chairs

for our clients to wait on.

- Which are gonna be zebra as
well?

- Which are gonna be zebra.

That's gonna be in its
own little zebra area.

- Keep the zebras together.

- This is it, 'cause I kind
of felt leopard's had its day.

- Yeah, what we calling it?

- L-H-A-A.

- Lahaha?
- LHAA for short.

- Anyway, you looking forward to
tonight?

- Im really looking forward to
tonight.

How do you feel about it all?

- I'm a little bit apprehensive,
not gonna lie, Bob.

- 'Cause you've not seen
James yet, have you?

- It's been like six weeks.

- Are you kind of thinking
to yourself, deep down,

like what emotions are
gonna surface to the top

when you see him?

'Cause obviously he's lost
a lot of weight, hasn't he?

- I know, I just don't
want to have a glimpse

of my old life and see him and
stuff,

'cause I feel like I might get a
bit like,

start thinking about things
and overanalyze, Bob.

If I think James is seeing
someone else,

I'll overanalyze it and
I'll think, oh my God,

what if he gets someone pregnant

and he's got a wife and kids by
next year?

- No way.
- Why do I think that?

- I know what you mean
babe, like Charlie and Gemma

have both been confiding
in me at the moment.

- What's the goss?

- Well, its not so much goss,

but I obviously speak to Gemma
all the time on the phone,

and I'm always in touch with
Charlie.

- So what are they confiding
in you, what kind of stuff?

- He's not giving her
cuddles, kisses or anything.

I don't think there's much
going on in that department.

[both laughing]

- But do you think that the
reason

that he's not showing
her a lot of affection

is because he's a bit
confused by his sexuality?

- She just wants a man to go in
there

and rip her tights off with his
teeth.

[both laughing]

[dance music]

- [Joey] Mate, how good is it
gonna be,

me and you living here together?

- Mate, it's gonna be so sweet.

- I've lived here for like
a month by myself now.

It's just well lonely, man.

- Yeah I know mate, you
must have been so depressed

sitting here on your own.

- I have, I'm always ordering
take-aways by myself.

Rule one, basically when
you come in the house,

take your shoes off.

- Fair, I can do that, that's
fine.

- Obviously, we got cream
carpet, so don't do that.

And then you got rule
two, don't make it messy.

People like Diags and James,

there'd be wee on the toilet
seat,

they leave the poo in the
toilet.

Mate, its ridiculous.

Flush the chain, you
do that, it's natural.

Biggie, yeah?

- What are you actually gonna
do?

Say if I do break a rule,
what's gonna happen,

what's my punishment?

- There's no punishment.

The thing is, the punishment
is the girls come back,

they get cringed out and go
home.

- Go out, we'll pull some birds
hopefully,

bring them back here.

- Dance with them, get with
them, do bits.

Wake up in the morning in our
pants.

- Get them out.
- Get them out,

play PlayStation all day.

- Depends on the PlayStation
day.

- I'm saying that we gotta
try to keep this really clean,

'cause we keep it clean, mate,
the girls are gonna be clean.

[both laughing]

- That was the last day, so we
had to leave the pool party.

- Oh, no.

- This party, we didn't
have a clue what it was.

Turn up, so many celebrities,

and I'm talking like A-list,
Hollywood celebrities.

- Like who?

- Arnold Schwarzenegger,
Katherine Jenkins, J.Lo.

We just missed J.Lo
though, just missed her.

- Oh my god, you could
have proper compared asses.

- Oh, yeah.
- I know.

- Yeah, but mines nothing on
J.Lo's.

- Still good, though.

- I didn't have the implants in
the end.

I had body sculpting.

So they basically took
fat from there and there

and they put it in the top bit
there,

so you know how before
my ass was like a granny,

it was like flat and droopy.

Now it goes out there.

Practically not even surgery, is
it?

I had a procedure, but I haven't
got

anything plastic in my bum.

I got my own fat, just moved it.

- That's so good.

- Can you see the difference?

- You've definitely got
more bum cheek there.

- I'll show you.

I've still got my stitches in,
obviously.

- Oh yeah, oh, it looks nice.

- [Chloe] I would like
it a little bit bigger.

- If you went a little bit
bigger,

all you'd have to do is put
weight on

and get it taken out again,
put it back in your bum.

- [Chloe] That's not really
a healthy option, isn't it,

putting weight on to have it
sucked out?

- Your bum is so gorgeous.

- Isn't it, look how wobbly it
is.

- We're just getting to know one
another.

- I'm not fresh, deep down I
think

I'm really a sensitive person.

- We're on his little journey
together at the moment,

and we're having a good time,

and we're just gonna see where
it goes.

- You said to me that you
couldn't come into my mom's
house

because you was planning a date
for me.

Well, you've got me round
your house yet again,

and you said there was
gonna be a surprise.

- The surprise is,

I want you to get naked for me.

- Shut up.

What the fuck are you going on
about?

What the fuck are you talking
about?

No way, I'm not comfortable with
that.

- Let me explain.

It's the 100 year anniversary
of Titanic sinking.

One of my most favourite
scenes in that film

is where Jack draws Rose.

I've always wanted to recreate
it,

but I've been waiting for that
special person to do it with.

- Did Kate Winslet get naked in
the film?

- Yes, she did.

- Charlie, that is sick.

I'm not doing that.

That is just, I'm sorry,

the most weirdest thing
I've ever heard in my life.

Why do you want me to get naked?

- Well, look.

- And draw a picture of me?

You normally say get naked
and let's go to bed, babe.

- To cover your modesty,

and I'd like to do it as a gift
to you,

something that is totally
unique from me to you.

- No, Charlie, no, piss off.

- Really?

I've got my sketch book
upstairs and my pencils ready.

I can go and get them,
let's just go for it.

This is a nice thing to do, no?

- [laughs] I don't know.

- Shall I go and get my stuff?
- Yeah.

[dance music]

- Hi, how are you?

- Lyds, stunning, love
it, you look lovely.

- Pretty exposed.

- See, Arg won't know what's
hit him when he walks in.

He'll be like, she's naked.

- I feel like it's a bit too
much, really,

like he's trying to make an
entrance

and I walk in with my ass on
show.

[dance music]

[group cheering]

- Hi everyone, thank you for
coming

to our marathon benefit party.

[group cheering]

As you know, we're running
the London Marathon next week,

so please dig deep,
it's for a great cause.

[soft music]

- I feel like one of them pigs
in blankets

that you eat at Christmas.

- Can I just say you look
beautiful?

- [Gemma] Shut up.
- No, you do.

You look amazing.

You look like a trifle.

- A trifle?

And then on the Titanic,
didn't he get the earring in,

the girl with the pearl
necklace or something?

- It was the heart of the ocean.

Can you shush now, yeah?

Right, let's take it in.

Gem, I need you to sit still.

- What do you want, some leg or
something?

I would have fake tanned them
better.

- Gem, please leave the
positioning.

- Can you make my arms look a
bit thinner?

- Come on now, I really
do need you to keep

this neutral face, 'cause I
want to get it right, okay?

- I am the piece of art.

- You are, you're my piece of
art.

I'll never, ever forget this
moment, do you know that?

- Nor will I.

- Ladies and gentlemen, thank
you so much

for coming this evening.

Believe it or not, myself, Cara
and Billi

will be running the
London marathon next week.

[group cheering]

We're using this evening's
events

to raise some money for charity.

So now we thought would be
the time for an auction.

[group cheering]

Gentlemen, this is one for all
you lot.

We have the wonderful Miss
Jessica Wright's underwear.

[group cheering]

Start at 20, 20 anyone
for Jessica's underwear?

- 20, anyone to start?

- 25, Diags, you put 25 down.

- Diags, you have to
put your hand right up.

- 30, anyone?

Little Chris.

- 150.
- 190.

[group cheering]

- 200.

- 200 from Ricky at
the moment, 205 anyone?

- Swerve it.

- 200 from Ricky Rayment.

- Come up Ricky, and collect
your items.

- I got a pair at home anyway.

- If you were gonna auction
something,

what would you auction?

- You, and then if the
person that buys you

is really boring as shit,
I'll say ah, I didn't know.

- What if they get confused

and totally think I'm their
prostitute?

- No, listen, make sure they
know you go out for an hour

and then that's it.

- Yeah, that's pretty much
what a prostitute does.

- But what are you planning
to do with the picture,

are you gonna take it to bed

and douche one out over it or
something?

[laughing]

Do you think I'm sexy?

- [Charlie] You are sexy.
- Shut up.

- You are.

- You're so handsome, Charlie.

- The next prize we are
auctioning is a day out

with the one and only Miss Cara
Kilby.

- [Cara] Really, really nervous.

- What do you think she's worth?

- Think I should start at 10?

- 20 quid for Cara Kilby?

- There we go, oh.

40, please, Frankie.

45.

50?
- 200.

[group cheering]

- 300.

- 300, everybody give
him a round of applause.

- Show us the money, Ricky,
show us the money, son.

350 quid?

- Sold to Ricky.

[group applauding]

Mate, you can come up
and collect your prize.

- I'm just saying this is a date
with me,

not a night, mate.

[group cheering]

[dance music]

- I cannot believe you paid 200
pound

for a pair of my knickers, you
perv.

- I'm using it as a cravat
anyway, look.

- To be fair, it looks quite
good.

- Doesn't it?

- Cheers, you're funny, Rick.

- I know, I know.

Obviously I've heard things

that you're seeing people and
whatever.

I don't want to jump in
and commit and be all argh,

and then find out you're seeing
someone else sort of thing.

- Well, you're jumping the gun a
bit.

We're talking, and we
get on, and to be fair,

you've made it really
awkward for me as well.

I can't even talk to Cara
tonight.

- I didn't make that
awkward, it's not my fault.

- Well, what did you have in
mind?

- How about we just we just play
it cool,

and we go out on a date or
something,

and we see how it goes.

- All right, and then
whatever happens, happens.

No more knickers?

- Plenty of knickers.

[Gemma yawning]

- You getting tired or
something?

- I'm bored to shit,
Charlie, what's going on?

- I'm nearly done, very nearly
done.

- I've got a numb bum.

- Are you excited to see what
I've done?

- A little bit, I'm a bit
scared.

- Yea, I am really happy,
so you ready to have a look?

- All right.

- Ready?

- My tits look saggy.

- No, they're not saggy,
they're actually quite pert.

- They're like them tribal tits,

and if that is your
interpretation of me,

I think there's a few
more lessons to be had.

It's just my constructive
criticism,

and I think from that picture

you're insinuating I need a boob
job.

- No, not at all, you've got
lovely pair.

- Oh, this has been a mad
evening.

But, do you know what,

I think it's really
broken the ice with us.

- Exactly, the ice.

Absolutely, going back
to Titanic, I love that.

- So what happens now, then?

Do you want me to stay
tonight, do I go home?

- Stay tonight, why not?

[dance music]

- If we'd stayed, we would have
completed

26 miles of running.

- I can't believe it.

A week today, I'll be in
an ambulance somewhere.

- [Lydia] How are ya?

- Pretty well, yourself?

- Oh my god, you look so
different.

- I've been spying on you too,
now.

I think I've caught a few
glimpses.

- Of my ass?

- No, of your eyes.

- Did you say your ass?

- 'Cause my ass is showing.

It's so different, I
can't even look at you.

- I got my teeth done, lost
a little bit of weight.

- What've you had, veneers?

- Four yeah, are you wearing a
padded bra?

- Yeah, it's fake, so are your
teeth.

I just don't want it to be
awkward

when we see each other out.

We've had six weeks, didn't we?

I feel like you are happier, I
really do.

- Basically, if I told you
I did this all for myself

I'd be lying, because, you know,

I have done it for you, Lyds.

What you said to me was,
if you sort your life out,

and you grow up, then
we'll see what happens.

All I'm telling you is I've
started doing that now.

I've sorted myself out.

I'm not the person a year and a
half ago

that used to slub, who's moping
around,

and I just think you should know
now.

Obviously I do still love you.

I still miss you.

- [Lydia] I still miss you.

- Do you still love me?

- I still miss you and I still
love you,

but, I'm sorry, but I was so
miserable

and I feel so much more happier
now.

- I know obviously how much you
love me.

I know that you have been
affected

by the fact that I've
been with other girls.

All I'm saying to you
now is, I've grown up,

and I've done everything
you've wanted me to do,

and I know you still love me.

All I'm saying is I would love
for us

maybe to be able to go out
again,

even if it's just for dinner.

- Yeah, but James, it was
there for you for so long.

I said to you for a whole year,

you don't know what you've
got until you've lost it,

and it got to the point
where it was too late.

- Lydia, I'm not gonna be cocky,

I'm not gonna be arrogant,

but you and me can't be friends.

We can't be friends, can we, to
be honest,

'cause if you and me was to
go for dinner with each other,

we would end up staying
the night together.

- No, I want you to move on,
James.

- I would love to take you out.

I know you still love me, but
if you don't want to do that,

then I'm just saying there's a
good chance

that you might regret it.

I'm just saying I'm giving
you the opportunity,

and it's up to you if you
want to take it or not.

- Don't put yourself out there
on a plate,

you're really embarrassing
yourself.

Oh, shut up, you arrogant
asshole.

- [Announcer] Next time
on The Only Way is Essex,

will Gemma get over her Titanic
experience with Charlie?

- I feel like one them pigs in
blankets

that you eat at Christmas.

- [Announcer] Have Arg's veneers

bitten off more than they can
chew?

- If you and me where
spending a night out,

we would end up staying
the night together.

- Shut up, you arrogant asshole.

- [Announcer] And will
Ricky's ab stretch catch on?

[group laughing]

- [Announcer] Who knows?

These people are real,

and anything can happen
on The Only Way is Essex.