All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S04E10.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

good old-fashioned drama, and
a little touch of romance.

The tans you see might be fake
but the people are all real,

although some of what
they do has been set up

purely for your entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way is
Essex.

- I'm done, I don't want it
anymore.

I don't need her in my life.

- Jessica had a go at me just
because she doesn't like me.

- I'm going out on a date.

- [gasp] With who?

- You know I'm not your
stereotypical bloke,

but I don't care.

- That's brilliant.

- All right, you, right you,

Ricky Raymond talking
about behind Joyce's back?

- No, not really.
- All right, fuck off.

- I think you're embarrassing
yourself.

- No one is talking about you.

And no one ever will
talk about you, innit?

[upbeat music]

[sighing]

- Thanks for bringing me here,
Mick.

- Pleasure, mate.

Let's go and have a
look at what you bought.

- Happy birthday to me.

- Wow, it's beautiful, mate.
- It's all right, innit?

I absolutely love it.

- Mr. Falcone.

- This is absolute bollocks.

This is amazing.

Cheers, mate.
- Enjoy the car, right.

- Really nice.

- You see, I wanted to
treat myself on my birthday.

I figured like, I'm 24 I could
afford it.

I've done well, so I
figured I might as well

get it for myself.

- Must've cost you a few quid,
innit.

- About 80 grand, I think.
- Really.

- Thereabouts, yeah.
- Fucking hell.

It's all about you
today, innit. [laughing]

- It is mate, it's the Mario
Day.

- Party tonight and super car
today,

well done, mate.
- Yeah, well thanks

for letting me have the
Sugarhut for tonight.

- Ah, pleasure.
- M party.

- Well thanks for the theme as
well,

the M party theme, it means
I can just go as Mick so--

- I'm just going as Mario,

as long as it's my birthday it's
my party.

Wanna hear it before you go?

- Let me have a listen to
that engine before I go.

[car engine revving]

That's better than sex that,
mate!

[laughing]

- Don't tell Lucy that.
- You drive careful,

no, you drive carefully, take it
easy.

- See you later, mate.
- Ta-ra, mate.

- But you and Joey are all cool
now then?

- M-hm.
- That's good then.

- Oh, that's hot.

No, everything's sweet.
- Did you shake hands?

- Yeah, we shook hands--

- When you shake hands that--
- we hugged.

We had an emotional hug.
- Did you?

- Yeah, it wasn't just a
hand shake, it was a hug.

I felt bad, to be honest that
we'd come there for Lauren

and then that ended up sort of
like,

taking the spotlight.

- I don't think it
ruined her night, though.

- No?
- No.

- Why?
- I think she was just happy

to have you there, Rick!
- Really?

I know she was flirting with me
a bit.

I've got to admit I was flirting
back, so.

- You've got to be careful,
though.

- Why?
- Just make sure that

these girls don't get the
wrong end of the stick.

There's nothing worse than a
guy breaking a girl's heart.

- Right, I know, I know.

But it's not like I go out
intentionally.

I mean like I got Jess's
number the other day.

- Rick, oh my God!
- No, but like

that's not--
- I can't keep up.

- No, but not like that.

Not like I'm texting her like,
you know

what are you, what are you
wearing?

Like, it's not like that!

It's just like, I'm just
like getting to know people.

Do you know what I mean?

I'm just texting her as a pal

and I like female conversation
and that.

I like that I can come around
here

and just talk to you about about
things.

- You like females?
- Yeah, I like females.

Yeah.
[laughing]

- Lyd, I've been on
the toilet all morning.

- Why?

- I can't do it anymore.
- Can't do what?

- I'm taking a skydive, this
afternoon.

- I always wanted to skydive.

- I just, I thought it
was a really good idea

at the time, Lyd and
that it's really lovely

to have that as a birthday
present

but I've changed me mind.
- No, you can't, mom!

- I'm actually jumping out with
somebody,

- Yeah, tandem.
- So hopefully they

look like Mario, won't they?

- We'll have to request
someone that's good looking.

- Yeah.
- I'll say my mom can

only do it if there's someone
good looking behind her.

- Is it behind me or in front of
me?

- What?
- Behind me?

- Oh that would be even better
for ya.

- Ricky!

I can't believe you just said
that,

that is disgusting.

- I can show you, if you want.

- Let's have a look.
- Get'em out love.

[laughing]

- So attractive, that sports
bra.

- I know.

- Yeah.
- They look nice.

- The nipples have definitely
moved, Pops.

- Yeah, they're right in the
middle now.

- 'Cause they was like,
they was really high,

wasn't they?
- I just think fresh boobs

always look, not very nice.

- I think they look really
natural.

Really, really natural.

- The only thing is it takes
ages

for your nipples to go hard
again.

And then like one will go like
that,

and the other one will stay
soft.

It's really embarrassing.
- How weird.

Why?
- I don't know.

- My nipples are always hard.

- Yeah, but imagine having
one hard one and one soft one.

It's a bit like, sort it
out, make your minds up!

- That's when the hair comes in
handy!

[laughing]

- Chloe, do you actually
remember like life

without fake boobs?
- Yeah, they was like,

I'll tell you exactly what it
was like.

They was like little boobs

and you could, after I had
Maddie,

you could get the little nipple
and go.

[laughing]

- What and they move?

- I swear down, and you know
when you put the bath on

you lean over to do the bath
and you look in the mirror,

and they used to be like
two little triangles.

Empty, disgusting, I used
to wanna heave at them.

Mini udders.

Disgusting.
- Oh my God.

- I couldn't get them done
quick enough, honestly.

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

- Anyway at the end of the day,
look,

it's Mario's birthday party.

How do you feel about, you know
Ricky

being there after the fallout
and that?

- We made up after.

But I think we're cool now so,

I think um, I think we're all
right.

Is it an M themed party 'cause
Mario's

name is Mario with an M?
- I suppose so, yeah.

And the three musketeers so.
- We've had the worst shout,

why did we pick the three
musketeers?

The ugliest three fellas
probably in the whole world.

- Not even just that but,

I bet the costumes are
really unflattering as well.

It makes my physique look
worse than what it is.

- We're gonna look like
absolutely disgusting.

- Don't you think we should
go into the party like,

like trying to be funny,
like maybe be talking French

and stuff like that?

- Well yeah, we need
to learn French though.

I don't really know French.

I know bonjour and Je m'apelle.

- Actually yeah, true, I don't
have a clue about French.

- Yeah, I took long
enough to learn Spanish.

- What Spanish do you know?

[laughing]

- I know hola, fanta naraya,
fanta lemon.

- So you haven't learnt Spanish,
you've learnt three words.

[laughing]

- I just loved every minute of
it,

and like I've woke up today

and I feel like young and fun
again.

- You look like you're glowing.

- Since I've had my third eye
cleansed,

like it feels like everything's
changed in my life,

so it's definitely the
best day we did together.

- Aw, I'm really happy, Gem.

- I felt like so comfortable
with his house and that.

Not like I'm gonna move
in there or anything,

but he said I was like
a Jewish girl that had

chutzpah or something.
- Is he Jewish?

- I think a bit.

- And he said you're what?

- I've got chutzpah.
- Chutzpah?

- Yeah, which is like
a Jewish word for like

shooziness, you know what I
mean?

- Really?
- And I think he said like

his mom was like that and I
said,

oh, you do know that boys
marry girls like their mom.

- Yeah, exactly.
- And his eyes all lit up

and that, so, but we're not
thinking

about getting married yet.
- No.

- So, what else you been up to
then?

- I've seen Ricky.
- Yeah.

- Well he text me,

and I was like shall I text
back,

should I not because
obviously he took Cara out.

- You and him would have such
beautiful kids together, Jess.

Go for it, he's a player,
everyone's in it to win it.

But the only one you've gotta
be careful of is Lauren,

'cause weren't Lauren flirting
with him?

- To be perfectly honest,
like this is a case

of whoever Ricky likes, Ricky
likes.

- He's a heartbreaker, that one
innit he?

- He won't be breaking my heart,

I'll break his.

- So excited!
- Mom, it's going

to be amazing!
- When I get up there

and I just want to say hello
to everybody that's passed on

before me, granddad will be up
there--

- Granddad's looking on as well.

That's so cute, mom.

- I've got granddad's locket on.

- He'll keep you safe, won't he?

- Yeah.
- Aw.

That's so cute.
- He's gonna look after me.

Can you imagine what he'd be
saying, Lyd?

- He would say, crazy woman!
- Crazy!

Only my daughter would
jump out of a plane!

[laughing]

- That is so what he'd say.

- I mean obviously I could get
this

bit done and tightened in.

- No, no.

Joey's sort of offends people

because he likes to show
off his crotch area.

- I don't like showing off my
crotch area.

- 'Cause it's so tight, it
shows.

- That's what I'm saying,
so Les could you mind

around the crotch area to go
as least tight as possible?

- No, no, no.

- Years ago, when your granddad

used to have his trousers made,

the tailor would always ask him

which side did he dress?

- Which side?
- Yeah.

- Oh, you mean what side
he would get tailored?

- No.

- What way do you dress?

- Do you know what it means?

- What, what way do you dress?

- Yeah.

- I dress reem.

- You wear Calvin Klein's
probably.

- Yeah.
- If you didn't wear any,

then you would actually
hang one side or the other.

- Oh, right!
- They wouldn't hold

their pieces in.
- That's right.

- So you'd have to choose if
you fancied going to the left

or fancy going to the right.

Are you left or right?

- You can dress me that way or
that way,

because mine's straight down the
middle.

- Yeah, you're fine.

What about you, what do you need
doing?

- Um, well these are my
favourite suit trousers,

but now they don't quite--
- Don't quite fit.

- Is there enough material to be
able

to take them out to fit me?
- No.

- There's no way of me
wearing these trousers

until I lose weight?

- Not really, no.

[laughing]

- I know I'm going to
lose a lot of weight soon,

'cause I'm running, yeah I'm
running the London Marathon.

- How are you gonna do
the London Marathon, mate?

- I'm technically a good runner.

- Really?

- It's just my asthma that let's
me down.

I'm a bit scared about it
though.

Have you heard the stories
about people doing the marathon?

- No, what?
- Apparently, when you run

'cause you're running for
so long and stuff like that

your toe nails fall off.

- What?
- And people's like

nipples are bleeding and stuff
like that.

- Aw mate, and your nipples are
huge.

- My nipples are huge.

- Well don't wear a t-shirt
then.

Just go completely naked.

Well you don't go naked but wear
like

a pair of shorts and that's it.

- Sports bra.

[laughing]

- I bet she is absolutely
petrified.

I'd be absolutely shaking.

That's her!

Mom!

Wow!

Wooooh!

- I never, ever want to do that
again!

For the rest of my entire life!

- What happened?

We're so proud.

Well done.

- How'd you feel, is it all
right?

- Um, do you know what?
- Any bits missing?

- I can't tell yet.
- Right.

'Cause you're actually really
brown.

- You're really soft.

- What?
- What?

- Oh my God, you're like the
biggest flirt in the world.

I'm a bit worried about your
nose.

'Cause I think your nose
is gonna be really white.

- Well spray me then.

Spray my nose.
- I can't.

- Why not?
- 'Cause you'll have

like big brown eyes.

Don't do that.

- I can't help it.
- What?

- It's all wet and sticky, like

I feel like I need to--
- Yeah, but you need

to like start letting your body
dry.

- Pat meself down.
- Just do like that.

That's it.

Oh my God.

I think it looks hot babe.

- Do you think?
- Yeah.

- As long as you think it
looks hot, I don't mind.

- Yeah, it does.
- I want to look nice

and brown for Mario's.
- Yeah.

- How about you and Jess at the
party?

Innit gonna be a bit weird?

- Um.
- Not weird,

but tension sort of thing?
- Yeah, I'm not really

looking forward to it to be
honest.

I just wanna have fun
and you know, be civil.

- You can just ignore it and
just talk to everyone else.

Don't forget, everyone
else is gonna be there,

I'm gonna be there and other
people are gonna be there.

It's not like you're just gonna
be there

in a room with you and Jess.
- I sort of feel like

that though.
- Yeah, but you ain't.

Just try and black it
out like, block it out.

We'll be there, you can come
chat with me,

do you know what I mean,
there's no problem.

- Yeah, okay.

- I don't want you to wear that,

I want you to go as my husband.

- No.
- I'm Mrs. Kilby.

I want you to be Mr. Kilby,
and you're not having it.

- I can't be Mr. Kilby, I can't
do that.

- Why?

It's fun, Tom, come on.

- It's weird.

- Why's it weird?

- To turn up like husband and
wife.

- I think it's fun, it's fancy
dress.

- You stayed at mine once.

- Yeah, that's how it
works, don't you know that?

You go home with me, you have to
marry me.

Don't you know that?

- How many times have you been
married?

- A few times, I'm joking.

I've got no persuading you have
I?

You're gonna let me go there
rock up in my wedding dress.

- Rock up, but you look
good in a wedding dress.

I'm going as a Mexican.

Do I look good?

- You look like an idiot.

- What you thinking?

- You ain't coming near me with
that on.

- Oh my God.

Oh my God.

What have you got on?

What is a guitar out for?

What is the bra out for?

- What?

It was because I'm getting
ready.

- Hm.

- It's a theme.

- What are you like
Corpse Bride or something?

- Are you having a laugh?

I'm fucking Mrs. Kilby.

- No, shut up.

- Tom's my husband.

I was gonna see if you wanted
to be my maid of honour,

as it's got to begin with M.

- Well you want to be Mr. Kilby
now

you've seen her in her dress?

- No.

- You know everyone is
gonna ask you what you are,

and when you tell them they're
gonna think

what is she up to?

- Babe, do you think I
care what anyone thinks?

Whatever, I'm still a Kilby.

- You've been wanting
to be a Kilby for ages.

- I'm finally a Kilby.

[laughing]

- Look at me, looking like a
babe.

- Do you like it?
- Yeah.

- I bet he's got a picture
like that in his bedroom.

- Yeah, I bet he has above his
bed.

It's probably his quilt cover as
well.

- It does look like a
quilt cover, doesn't it?

Pops, do you need another sip?

- M-hm, please.

- This is so funny.

'Cause she can't lift her arms
up?

- Is that enough?
- It's nice.

This is like the perfect costume
for me,

if you think about it because

not only am I already covered in
bandages,

I can lift my arms so I can
actually

walk like a mummy all night.
- Yeah!

- What's happening mate?

You all right, sweet.

- About the other night,

obviously it got a bit heavy.

A bit fucking heated up.

- Ricky, you know what I'm like
mate.

I'm easy, you know what I mean,

I don't want, I don't
want no hard feelings,

like what ever happened the
other day

I just want to completely forget
about it.

It's completely forgotten.

It's forgotten.
- Yeah, it was just

one of them moments where
boys are just like boys.

It's like we're two reindeers,
one's got their horns up

and the other's like no
I ain't backing down.

And it was just a bit stupid.

And I'm just glad that
we can, we're big enough

to just sort it out and we're
cool.

- All right mate, well
have a good night, yeah.

- I'll talk to you soon, later
on.

- Jess is here, isn't she?

Have you seen her?

Have you spoke to her?

- It is weird for me,

it's really weird 'cause it's
like

I feel like

I've known her for so long,

and it's like she's a complete
stranger.

- I just feel like I'm
stuck in the middle of it.

Because I was there and
I feel like you're gonna

you're gonna bump into each
other

and it's best you do speak now
because

you'll leave it, leave it, and
leave it

and then you'll maybe bump
into each other again,

you may be drunk again
and it'll kick off again.

- See, I don't want to think
about that.

I don't want to think about
that.

- I know you don't but you've
got,

this is reality, it's real life.

It's gonna happen.

- I don't want any drama,

I don't wanna talk to Lauren

I don't want anything to do with
her.

- What if she talks to you?

I just don't need rubbish
anymore,

I don't need dramas in my life.

I just want to move on and be
happy.

Anyway let's ignore her
and have a good night, eh?

- Yeah, tell me about you and
Ricky then,

what's been going on?

- He looks quite fit.
- Do you know what,

we were saying earlier,
I like a man in uniform.

- Yeah.
- So, I reckon he's looking

quite hot tonight for you, Jess.

- Do you think?
- Yeah.

Sorry I'm busy.
- He seems like

a really nice boy though.

He's good looking but I don't
know.

- I reckon if you like him

and tonight he wants to do a
dance

or a little whatever, just go
for it.

- Go for it.

My wig is telling me to
tell you to go for it.

- Minnie Mouse is telling you.

- I trust the wig.

- That wasn't long.

- It was all right, yeah.

- Yeah.

- Have you heard anything
else out of the norm?

- No, I just think you're a
flirt.

- What?
- Just that you're

just flirting.
- Was I?

Don't think so.

Why, does that bother you?

- Not really.
- No?

- You just flirt with everyone,

that's your game isn't it?

- I ain't got a game.

I'm not flirt, [laughing]
I'm not flirting,

I'm just talking--
- Just being you, yeah?

- I'm talking to girls
and I'm just overly nice.

- So even though you are flirty,

does being polite actually
get you girls or not?

- You tell me?

- I don't know, you're not with
me.

- I haven't got you, then it
obviously don't work, does it?

Have to try something else.

- Gonna have to aren't ya?
- Yeah.

- This one ain't worked.
- Maybe someone else.

- Maybe someone else, maybe
Lauren.

- Why are you getting so upset
about her?

- Yeah, I'm really, really
upset.

- Are you flirting with her?

Are you flirting with her?

You can flirt with any boy you
like.

- I do.
- Do ya?

- Yeah.
- Crack on.

- Crack on!
- Crack on!

But listen,

I'm gonna go,

I'm gonna go mingle.

- Okay.
- All right.

- So I'll speak to you later.
- In a little while.

- Remember what they used
to call me, The Iron Lady.

The gloves.
- No, I think you actually

remind me of Margaret.

Well it's a bit like now,
because in our household

you're the head of the family.

But you're not the iron lady,
you're the ironing lady.

- Oh, definitely!

I should've known that.

- What's happened to your hair,
Margaret?

You had a heavy night, last
night?

- Yeah, I did have a heavy
night, yes.

With all the Labour Party.

- Wasn't she conservative?

- Dunno what she was.

- Oh, hello.
- All right?

We meet again.
- Yeah we do.

I'm glad, glad we meet again.
- Why?

- Um, I don't know, I just
wanted to clear it up to you

that I quite fancy you.

- Well, you're the one
talking to Lauren and Cara

and whoever else so..
- Yeah, but like I'm talking

to Lauren and Cara, but
not talking, talking.

I sorta half wanna, like if you
want to,

I'd sort of want to take you out

and sort of get to know you
more.

But that's completely up to you
obviously.

I'm not going go yeah, yeah,
she's coming out with me.

Do you know what I mean?

- Do you know what's funny,
I can't take us seriously

'cause look like a prize idiot
and you're dressed in this.

- Shut up!
- To be fair you look

quite good, I look like a
fucking idiot.

- You don't look like an idiot.

Honestly, I think you look nice.

I really do.
- Thank you.

- Honestly, I've been
looking at you all night,

and obviously you ain't watching
me.

I've just been giving you little
looks,

but you haven't paid much
attention.

- Thank you.
- I'll take you out,

wherever, wherever you want,

you know--
- Are you asking me out?

- Yeah, I am, I'm asking you
out.

I'm saying if you wanna go
somewhere,

we'll go somewhere, we'll
get to know each other.

So as long as you're cool with
it,

we'll go out.

- Will we?
- As long as

you're cool with it.

That's what I'm saying,
I'm not trying to be

trying to be cocksure.
- All right,

well let's have a drink
and see what happens, yeah?

- Yeah.

- Can you do that?

- Joey, man.

Of course I can do that,
anyone can do that.

- Do it.

- What about, what about the
techno clock?

- The what?
- The techno clock, innit.

[laughing]

- What the fuck is techno clock?

- Girls, you look amazing.

Billie, I've got to say, you
probably

look the best out of everyone.

- Just do the voice.
- Homie!

- That is it!

That is it!

Where's Charlie then?
- He's not turn up yet.

- Is he coming?

- Well, yeah but--
- I want to meet him.

- I wanna meet him.
- I want yous two to meet him,

I'm really excited but--
- He might even be here.

Have you spoke to him?
- No, he's not here yet.

He's taking ages getting ready
probably.

- Oh my God, is that him?
- Gandhi?

- That is not him.

That is not him, he is sick.

- Don't be ashamed of your man,

he's turned up and
you're trying to deny it.

- Shut up, I know he's
spiritual,

but he don't look like that.

He's very good looking.

How does Gandhi begin with an M
though?

It's an M party.

Is it Mohammad Gandhi?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- My phone just went.

Who's this?

- Look at her taking her gloves
off to get her phone out.

- Charlie.
- Charlie?

What's he saying?

- Hi, Gem, I'm so sorry
but it doesn't look like

I'm gonna make the party.

Something has cropped up
which I can't get out of.

- Oh no!

- Oh, that's a bit disappointing
innit?

- Do you know what?

Don't worry he's not worth it.
- I'm not gonna cry or

anything but whatever.

What's more important than me?
- Exactly.

You're not gonna let him

upset you like how Mick did.

Charlie's missing out.

- That's the thing though,

like 'cause you're looking
forward to it

but I thought that it'd be nice

for him to meet everyone today.

- I was so excited about meeting
him.

I'm pissed off with Charlie.

- You know, I chose this outfit
choice

because I didn't want to
look weird in fancy dress.

- Yeah, you wanted to be
like sexy for your new man.

- Yeah, I don't wanna look
embarrassing.

- If it's meant to be, its meant
to be.

If he ain't come tonight
and he's saying something's

cropped up, give a shit.

Do you know what I mean?

- Yeah, give a shit.

- Yeah, give a shit.

- Give a shit.

- It's a bit embarrassing though

'cause I've told people he's
gonna come.

- No, it's not.

Don't worry.

I'm not being funny but if he's
not

gonna come then more fool him.

- I just don't have that
much luck with men, do I?

[techno music]

- Athos, Pothos, Dartanian
and then there's one more.

- It ain't, there's three
musketeers.

- There's four.
- There's three.

- There's a little nutter.
- Are you bring serious?

It's three musketeers.
- Yeah, but there's

a little one who comes in and
was like--

- No, it ain't 'cause otherwise

it'd be called the four
musketeers.

- No, 'cause it's just the
three musketeers and the guy.

And Dartanian, Athos, and
Pothos.

- What do they do?

What are each of them
like 'cause I wanna know

what one I am.
- You're the big fat one.

- The big fat one?
- Yeah, Pothos.

- This is like quite
uncomfortable, isn't it?

I don't like it.
- Yeah, I know.

But I think babe, you've
got an opportunity now,

haven't you to speak to Jess?
- I want to.

At the end of the day I
do want to talk to her

'cause I want out of the whole
family.

I want out of the relationship,
I want out of it all.

I wanna go back to Lauren
I was before I met them.

And for me it's closure.

I've got other things to worry
about.

I don't need to be dragged
back again into it,

it's like that's a topic,
that's her topic at the minute.

And I've got more in
my life to talk about.

- Maybe she's holding on
to you as I don't know.

- I don't know.

It's hard innit?
- I know.

- Do you think I should go over
there now?

- I'm here all right, if you
need me.

I'm here, I'll stay here okay?

- Okay.
- Okay, all right.

Can I have a word?

- You okay?

Do you want us to wait?

- No, no, no.
- Are you sure?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Okay.

- Right, obviously what
has happened between us

and stuff, obviously it's awful

and it's upsetting and
it's very hard for me

considering how long I've known
you.

But obviously there's a lot
of hearsay going on here

and I feel

are you listening?
- Yeah, I'm listening.

- I just feel that

it is weird that I've come over
here

'cause I do feel uncomfortable.

It's like--
- How do you think I feel?

I don't know what to say Lauren.

If I'm honest.

I really don't know what to say.

I'm seriously drained.

You know how much I've stood by
you

and you know deep down in your
heart,

you know I've always been there
for you.

- The fact is you haven't
really been there for me.

- How can you say that?
- I don't think you have.

- How can you say that?
- You didn't even text me

when my shop blew up.
- How can you say that?

- Didn't even text me.
- Didn't I BBM you?

- No, you didn't.

- Liar.
- You did not BBM me.

- Did you not see my status on
BBM?

- No, I didn't see your status
on BBM.

- Well then, you missed it.

Listen, I introduced
you into my friendship

when we were 15 years of age.

And I brought you in with open
arms.

- That's what breaks my heart.

Because you always had an
issue with me for some reason.

- No, you've had an issue with
me.

This is what started it the
other night.

Yes, you have.
- Listen, I'm not

going to row with you, I'm
really

not going to row with you again.

- I'm not rowing with you.

Say sorry for once in your life.

- You say sorry!

I text you.
- Why should I apologise?

Did I slag your family off?
- You went in my face

the other day, right, you went
in my face.

- Yeah, of course, I did 'cause
of

what you were saying to me!

I'm a nobody, I'm a wannabe.

- I'm not standing here
having a row with you, Jess.

Grow up!

- Do you know what, I'm not
interested,

stay away from my family,
stay away from me.

- Girls, girls, girls.
- Don't get involved now.

- No, Mario.
- It's my party.

- We're not interested.
- Mario please,

I've had enough of it.

You're rude, you're out of
order.

- What you doing?
- Frankie!

- You've known each
other for so many years.

- Yes, I know, exactly.

And I've stuck up for her

and all she does is throw it in
my face.

You don't care 'cause you're
rude to me,

you slag me off every minute
you've got!

- Do I say that, Frankie?
- I love you and I've always

cared for you and all you
do is throw it in my face.

- Are you having a laugh?

- I'm not interested in you
anymore.

All I've ever bought into your
life,

I don't wanna know anymore.

Go away!
- Attention seeking.

- I'm not attention seeking.

- I've had enough.
- I don't want it anymore

in my life.
- Fucking hell.

- I want to go home.

- Get a drink?

- Let's get another drink.

- Two Jaegers, let's go.

- Look at me in this tennis
dress.

- You actually do look
like you're about to go

play a game of tennis though.

I'm not gonna lie.

- I'm Maria Gepravova.

- Sharapova, innit?
- Sharapova.

Obviously she's blonde, but
I decided that if anyone

says to me like Maria
Sheparaova is blonde.

- Sharapova.
- Sharapova is blonde,

I say to them yeah, but she
dyed her hair brown for charity.

- All right, darling.
- Nice to see you.

- All right, Mrs. Kilby.

- Is that what you are?
- Yeah.

- Obviously I'm Mrs. Kilby.

Uh, we're knackered, we're
gonna go home, all right?

- All right then, have a nice
night.

- Going home?

See you later, darling.

- Awkward moment, see you later.

- See you later.

- I'll see you later.
- Have a good night.

- Bye!

- Is that a bit weird?

- Weird, awkward.

- Are they going back to yours
or Billi's?

- I don't fucking know.

- Do you want to know?
- No, I don't.

Probably mine.

[slow dance music]

- Will you

move in with me?

- Yes.

Oh God, I thought you were going

to say something else, then.

- Just trust me for once.

Go with it for once.

Okay?

- Oh my God.

- Go on, Gemma!

- Oh!

Crumbs!

- Meet Charlie!

- Charlie!

- Do you reckon he'll pick her
up?

- I think that's what he has to
do.

Like the film, yeah.

[laughing]

[cheering]

Oh, he was gonna grab her
boob then, did you see that?

- Can I say one thing?
- What?

- He's not gay.

- [Narrator] Next time
on The Only Way is Essex,

will Arg's unique training
regime lead to marathon glory?

- Someone push me!

- [Narrator] Which girl will
be next on Ricky's hit list?

- She gets mean.

- [Narrator] And will Joey
ever leave Little Joey alone?

- Why do you keep going like
that?

- What that?

Well you see, I can't
help it, I just do it.

- [Narrator] Who knows?

These people are real.

And anything can happen
on The Only Way is Essex.

- My balls!

[whistling]