All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S04E07.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

a family feud and some flirting
to get your teeth into.

The tans you see might be fake

but the people are all real

although some of the what
they do has been set up purely

for your entertainment.

Previously on The Only Way Is
Essex.

[people cheering]

- I wanna ask you if you
will be my girlfriend.

- Yeah.

[man laughs]

- I'm newly on the market.

You fancy a purchase?

- I dunno if I should tell you
or not.

I slept with her the other
night.

- What?

[upbeat music]

- If we get married,
she'll be my sister in law.

Cara's gonna beat the shit outta
me.

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music]

- Alright Hun?

- [Georgina] Lauren.

Give me a cuddle, I can't
believe it

- I know

- Oh babe

- It's awful, do ya know what I
mean,

you go forward and you
get knocked back again.

- What has happened,
look at the state of it.

- I know

- What have they done?

- Basically someone's
crow barred the windows

and threw a petrol bomb inside.

I just don't get it, look
at the state of it all.

Like the smoke, the damages, the
wood,

the smoke damage of all of
my products, my clothes,

the equipment, even at the
back the teeth whitening,

it's covered in dust

That's the most expensive,
do ya know what I mean?

Could you imagine?

It's just all little things
that people just don't think of

- It's just evil
- Yeah.

I don't get what goes
through people's minds

to do something like this
people, do you know what I mean?

- It's jealousy, Lauren.

- It's madness though, why?

- You'll always get
people like that though.

You're lucky no one was
in here when they done it.

- I know.

I'm not gonna give up.

I want this.

I want Lauren's Way.

I want this business.

So I'm gonna clean it up and
start again.

- It's just ag that you didn't
need.

- I know.

[upbeat music]

- I really felt that there was
like sexual chemistry there

between you and Cara

- Did ya?

- I really did

- Why?

- Like when I was standing there
I felt

like a bloody lemon head, in the
corner.

I was like standing there,
like having a little convo

and yous two were like
flirting which each other,

and I was like so.

And then like Lauren came
over and I was like thank god,

and then she started flirting
with ya,

and I was like I was
standing there by myself,

like I was like, am the only
one that don't fancy Ricky?

- You don't fancy me?

- No, I see you as a mate.

I don't know, but it was like,
proper, like, I don't know.

I could tell that there
was something there

between you two.

- Yeah, no, there is
'cause I got her number.

- [Lydia] Shut up!

- Yeah.

- [Lydia] You text him?

- Yeah, I was textin' him this
mornin'.

- Look at you, eager beaver.

- I'm not eager, you know.

- [Lydia] What are you text him?

- Early bird catches the worm.

- I don't know, I think
that you were just flirting

with all the girls last night

- I don't realise it,

and then suddenly everyone's
saying it.

- See, I don't even know
how to flirt, I don't think.

- You don't have a way of doing
it, it's just naturally you.

- I don't think I'm a
very flirtatious person.

- You're flirting with me right
now.

- Shut up, I'm flirting with you
Ricky.

- I can see it in your eyes.

- [Lydia] No, I'm not.

- Yeah, you've got them eyes
that are like come get me.

- No, I haven't, you liar.

- I can see it, I can tell
honestly.

- [Lydia] Shut up.

- I'm the kind of flirty.

- [Lydia] I've not got those
eyes.

- I've made them eyes.

- Shut up, Ricky!

Have I got flirty eyes?

- Mmhm.

- [Lydia] No I haven't.

- They're fluttering all over
the place.

Come get me, big boy.

[both laughing]

- Oh, shut up.

[upbeat music]

- [Chloe] Yous threw a really
good party.

- [Cara] Do you think?

- The theme was really good

and then all the other
bits, like the cake.

- I missed that, I dunno where I
was.

- Probably flirting with Ricky
at the bar.

- Probably.

But I've not actually had a
proper full

on conversation with him.

He come across yesterday

like he was a little
bit cocksure of himself,

but I don't really think he's
like that.

- Cocksure?
- Cocksure.

- Don't say that Cara, it's
dirty.

- It ain't.

- Probably is, coz it's got cock
in it.

When you see him, do you think,

like do you feel a little
bit like [gasps], like that?

- No, I don't feel like that.

- [Chloe] But you think he's
nice lookin'.

- But I do think he's nice
lookin'.

I don't get like, all like, all
nervous.

- So you're not cocksure.

[women laughing]

- Are you not cocksure?

- I'm not cocksure.

[women laughing]

Anyway you missy, what went
on with you and Tom yesterday?

- Nothing.

- What was you sittin'
over in the corner for?

- No, nothing went on.

Right, oh my god.

It's really, really embarrassing
me.

- I'm gettin' embarrassed now.

- No, I was gonna tell
you later, all right.

Obviously I've known Cara's
brother

since I've known Cara, and
he was like last night,

do ya wanna go out?

And I was like.

- Are you having a laugh?

- Wait, I'm not finished yet,

and I was like well yeah,
like, me, you and Cara

and he was like, no, like me and
you.

And then I was like.

So and then I said yeah.

- You said yeah?

- Yeah, don't get the hump.

- I aint got the hump.

I think its like I think
yous are winding me up.

- I feel a bit embarrassed to
say to you

like I might go out with your
brother.

- I might come.

- No!

- Yeah, but listen to this,
if you start being horrible

to him you're gonna have me to
deal with.

- Yeah, and you don't want that.

- It's just, I don't.

- [Chloe] It's a bit awkward.

- Are you winding me up?

Is it a joke?

- No, it's not a joke.

I am gonna go out on a date with
him.

- Where's our food?

- Are you all right?

- Hey baby, you okay?

- Mmhm, you?

- How are you?

- Not too bad.

You all right?

- Yeah.

- [Mario] Yeah.

- You don't look happy.

What's up?

- There's something I
need to talk to you about.

- What?

Don't get me all worried.

Oh my god.

Oh my god!

Hello!

- [Mario] Lucy, this is Max.

- Max, hi Max!

Oh my god, Mario.

Is he for me?

- [Mario] Of course.

- [Lucy] And he's so small.

- [Mario] He's a teacup.

- He's the cutest thing I've
ever seen.

I love him!

Hi Max.

- Has he gotta be called Max?

- Yes.

- 'Cause I'd quite like
to call him Bentley,

he looks like a Bentley.

- [Mario] If we call him
Bentley.

- [Lucy] Yeah?

- You scrap the three date rule.

What?

It's up to you.

Like, you either have
Bentley and sexy time.

Or you get to have your three
dates and he's called Max.

- Bentley it is [laughs].

- Obviously have you
had sex in this car yet?

- No.

- [Diags] Yeah, you have.

- No I ain't.

- You could open the door

and she could be like that.

- Why are you explainin' this to
me?

I don't wanna see you do this.

- Well, because you do.

You wanna know how to do it.

- One of you'll be poking out of
that roof

'cause you'll be warm.

- Let's say summer.

- If it's summer I'd have the
roof down,

I'd be probably on the
front window screen.

- There's not really much of
a bonnet though, is there?

- No, no, yeah.

- You could probably
bang her over the bonnet.

- I don't know what I'd
do mate, I'd probably.

- This is the way to do it.

- I went round Arg's, the other
day, yeah?

- Yeah.

- And he showed me some shoes.

He was showin' 'em to me
and was like all depressed,

she was like, look,

look at these shoes
I'm gonna give to Lydia

like it was Snow White or
something

and she lost her shoe.

- Snow White didn't lose her
shoe.

- [Joey] Who lost her shoe then?

- Cinderella.

- I just thing Arg's head's
a bit all over the place

at the moment.

He told me something.

I can't really explain it

'cause obviously he told
me not to say nothing but.

- Did he, what did he tell ya?

'Cause he told me something as
well.

- [Joey] Well, what's he said to
you?

- He said the same
thing to you, didn't he?

- Well, what's he said to you?

- No, you say it first.

What's he said to you?

- He told me something

but he told me not to say
anything.

- He told me not say anything.

- [Joey] Don't tell me
he's told you something.

- He told me not to tell
anybody.

He went, this is between just me
and you.

You know, he has a thing where
he goes,

"Just me and you."

- He's such a donut.

He told me the same thing,
between me and you, though.

- It's the same thing isn't it?

The [whistles].

- The [whistles].

What, he told you as well?

- Yeah.

He needs someone to tell him,

actually, excuse you mate, get a
grip.

Like, not bein' horrible,
let's sort it out.

- Who?

- I don't know, someone
who's gotta listen to it.

Someone who he's gotta listen
to.

[peaceful music]

- [Debbie] Lydia wants
to be on her own, James.

Lydia wants to find herself.

- Yeah, but she's not really
finding herself, is she Debbie?

- Well she is.

- How's she findin' herself

by workin' nine to five in a
shop.

That's not really findin'
yourself, is it?

- [Debbie] But that's her,
that's what she wants to do.

Who are you to dictate.

- Yeah, but understand,

that's not really findin'
yourself, is it?

- But James, who are you to
dictate

to somebody how they're
gonna find themselves?

- I'm not, I know, but
she keep saying something

and doing something else.

- No, James, listen, and I'm
gonna say this one more time,

Lydia doesn't want a boyfriend,
she wants to be on her own.

- I don't think that Ricky boy
seems

like Lydia's type at all,
d'ya know what I mean?

- James!

- [Arg] I'm just asking

- Stop it, stop it.

- Do you, I dunno, do ya reckon

there's something going
on between them two?

- What you mean,

that do you think she's
sleeping with Ricky?

- No, I'm not saying that,

I'm just saying do you think
there's something going on,

like is she talking to him
or what's going on, 'cause.

- Well yeah, she is talking to
him,

'cause she's known him for
years, James.

- [Arg] What, so they're just
friends?

- You know what your doing,
is called self persecution.

You're persecuting yourself.

If she goes out and talks to
somebody,

you wanna know who's she's
talking to.

If she goes out and, you know,

talks to a boy you're
automatically thinking

there's something going on,

that isn't letting her go, is
it?

- I think I'm just confused
Debbie,

'cause I am still getting,
you know, mixed signals

and stuff like that.

- Well you will do, because
you're both confused.

But you've got to really
man up, you've gotta man up.

What have I said to ya,
stand up, brush yourself down

and walk on, walk on, because
you ain't the first bloke

to be heartbroken, James,

and listen to me you won't be
the last.

[upbeat music]

- Right I've gotta go upstairs
and get these jeans off,

they're killing me, you go
and make yourself at home.

- All right Tom?

- All right Bil, you all right?

- [Billi] Yeah, you?

- Very well, thank you

- You all right?

- Yeah, sit down.

- You all right?

- I'm good, I'm good so.

- What's going on?

- What's going on?

- I had to tell Cara.

- You told her?
- Yeah.

- What did she say?

- Nothing, she thought I was
joking.

- She don't think you're
serious?

- No.

- Nah, but I do wanna
genuinely take you out though.

- You're making me blush Tom.

- I know, yeah, you're
going more orange, ain't ya?

- Shut up.

I'm not orange, I'm brown.

- But yeah, no, I'll sort
something out for us.

If you wanna.

- Yah, definitely, yeah.

- [Tom] Yeah?

Come on then.

- Alright yous two, what yous
doing?

- Nothing.
- Nothing.

- Apart from organising your
date.

Don't you think it's weird?

- Shut up, I don't wanna
talk to you about it anymore.

- I dunno how you feel about it.

Well, obviously, like, you know.

- Yes, okay, how do I feel about
it?

- How do you feel about it?

- I don't care.

But there's one thing
I'm going to say to you,

and that's how would you feel

if I went out on a date with
your mate?

- I'd think because he's
my mate I'd trust him.

- You would never ever let me
go out with one of your mates.

I don't care.

- I wouldn't let you go out with
anyone.

- [Cara] What?

- [Tom] Not just not mates.

- [Cara] You're just a mugger.

- That's why you're single,
babe.

- I'm not allowed a boyfriend.

No, I don't care, but, you,

for one, you wouldn't ever
let me go out with anyone.

- Yeah, but I'm like brother.

That's what brothers do.

Brothers look after
sisters, I'm protective.

- Okay, all right, all right.

All right, but.

- I don't have to run past you,
do I?

- Listen, at the end of the day,

it's a first date.

You might not even like each
other

so I ain't gonna cause any ag
yet.

- The thing is, right, we.

- I think yous two are winding
me up.

I think yous are having me on.

- But like, you know?

It's gonna happen.

- Yous can crack on.

[upbeat music]

- [Lauren P] Hi.

- Hi, how you doing?

- Good thanks, how are you?

- Nice to see you.

- [Doctor] Come and sit.

- Thank you.

- Good to see you again.

So just received the outcome

of the ultrasound you had done
yesterday,

and everything is good,
everything is really good.

There is no leakage

that is a good starting point
for me

before he surgery, yeah.

- So I mentioned to you before

that I've got really high
nipples,

and that's one of the
big things I want changed

with my new boobs.

- So the nipple from this
position

will just go fairly straight,

will be pointing straight, okay.

- How long does it take, the
operation?

- Probably an hour and a half.

- How long do you think it
will take to recover then?

- The recovery is quite, pretty
much,

I mean, straight forward.

A couple of weeks.

- We're planning on
going holiday next month.

- [Doctor] Okay.

- Will they still look
really plastic then?

- Next month?

Where are you going to,

not because I wanna know
where you're going to but.

- Do you wanna go on
holiday with us, Marco?

- No, no, no.

It's because I want to know
how long is the flight.

- No, he just wants to come on
the beach

and look at his work.

- No, I wanna know how
long is the flight, sorry.

- Dunno, how far.

How long does it take to
get to like LA or Miami,

'cause we ain't decided yet.

- About eight, nine hours.

- Nine hours, yeah.

That is a bit long.

- I'll wear them socks.

- And she said she'll
do laps of the plane.

- Ah, okay, okay.

You know, so many things have
been said about the plane

and you come into the
UK by plane, of course.

- On a plane, yeah.

You're gonna be fine, babes.

Chillax.

- Yeah, I think I saw it

as a really shit situation, but
now.

- At first.

- Yes.

Turn it into a positive, I
get a nice new set of boobs.

- And obviously you're gonna be
happy,

he can change all the things
that you wasn't happy with.

- Yeah, and go shopping for new
bras.

- That's the best bit,
new boobs, new wardrobe.

- [Lauren P] Yeah.

- You're our new best friend.

- Tea?

- AH, hostess with the mostess.

- Yours is the one with
the pugs, take that off.

- Thank you.

Oh I love your tea, Sam

- [Sam] Your one.

- This tea's looking a bit grey,
Samantha.

- Oh Gem, look, I've
got a surprise for you.

- What the hell is this?

- [Sam] What d'ya reckon it is?

- Dunno.

- [Billi] Dunno.

I was reading through the
instructions

and I didn't have a clue what it
was,

then someone said to me
it's for your camel toe.

- I have not got camel toe.

Are you implying I've got camel
toe?

My vag is not that podgy, I'm
sorry,

I would get it out and show you.

What you put it down there?

- [Billi] Yeah, basically
you put it in your knickers.

- This is the most bizarre
thing I've ever seen.

- [Billi] Isn't it?

- But I'm not being funny, like,

I think as you get older,

like I've noticed like that
my crutch has dropped a bit.

When I was in my 20's
my nunny seemed more up.

- Tight.

- Not, it's still tight.

- [Sam] Oh, sorry I mean
like on the outside.

- But no, it just seems more
forward,

but as I've got to 30 it
seems to have gone a bit like.

- It's just falling,

You know what, gravity's taking
its toll, that's what it is.

- Yeah, it's just as like not as
up there.

- Well, that's just natural
then,

surely like you're in your 30s.

- But I am paranoid.

- No, you don't need a lift,
you ain't even had kids yet.

I think camel toe you only tend
to get it

in your leggings though, isn't
it or like your gym wear.

- Yeah, because that's like
the most revealing, isn't it?

- You try it on, come
on, let's have a look.

- [Billi] Shall I, shall I try
it?

- Get ya camel toe out.

- But don't you think though
they need different sizes?

- [Gemma] Yeah, coz not
everyone's like.

- Not everyone's got the same
size nun.

- They're all different, ain't
they?

- You'd be surprised though,

I reckon skinny people
even have big nunnys.

- Do they?

- Yeah, I've seen quite a few.

- [Gemma] Let's see the camel
hoof.

Oh my god.

- [Sam] It's gone smooth

- [Gemma] You don't need it.

- Do ya know what, it's
like having a shoe horn

in your knickers.
- That's it feels like!

- Yeah, it's like a shoe horn.

- I don't think blokes
are gonna get [groans].

You're sick.

You are sick.

[women laughing]

- Alright Lyd?

- You alright, mum?

- There's a cup of tea,

- Thank you.

- Bit drained, Lydia.

- Why?

- Just met James.

- Yeah.

- And he's in a very, very
dark place at the moment

and he's extremely low.

And I know you are, darling,

and I'm not saying that
you're not any lower at all

but sometimes I just
don't know what to say

or do for him because I
just don't think he listens

to what advice you're givin'
him.

- He just keeps, kept on texting

and saying that he was really
down

and like he was finding
it really, really hard,

so I have been in contact with
him.

- But you mustn't give
him those mixed messages

as in anything, you know,
sexual really Lydia,

you know, like sleeping with
him or anything like that.

'Cause once you kiss and cuddle
him,

he thinks that you're all okay,

and you've gotta make that quite
clear,

'cause once you go over that
line,

it's a different avenue, isn't
it?

- Yeah.

- While you're in this frame of
mind

that you want to move on in your
life

and James isn't part of it,

then you have to be clear with
that

because the other way isn't
working is it?

- No.

- Emotions change.

- I need to drum into
him we're not supposed

to be together.

I just need to meet up with
him and just talk to him

and hopefully make him see,

see some sense.

[peaceful music]

- There were three Billy goats.

They had to cross a.

- Rickety.

- Rickety old bridge.

- Right, shall we close the book
now

'cause you've done really,
really good reading.

- No.

- You keep going to sleep at
night

and then each day you're
gonna get bigger and bigger

and bigger, until you're as big
as mummy.

- What did you look like
when you was a little girl?

- Looked like you a little bit.

- What colour was your hair?

- Blonde.

- How long was it?

- Right down to my bottom.

- Like Rapunzel?

- [Chloe] Like Rapunzel.

- Yes.

What pyjamas did you have?

- I think I had My Little
Pony pyjamas and Barbie.

- Oh, you lucky girl.

- You know mummy's
friend's here, downstairs.

- Who's downstairs?

- Lauren Pope.

She's come round to have
a cup of tea with mummy.

You're gonna to give me a kiss,

'cause I haven't got lipstick
on.

- You have.

- I haven't.

What about a cuddle

- Yes.

- Come on then, gimme a cuddle.

Good girl, that was a nice
cuddle.

Good night.
- Goodnight.

- [Chloe] [gasps] magic.

[upbeat music]

- I've heard Ricky's goin'
tonight, your new best pal.

- Yeah, I know, I texted him
earlier.

- Ricky's like horny as tits.

- [Joey] Yeah.

- Is he?

- [Diags] So he'll be
like, oh I like Lydia or.

- Yeah, he is a bit like
a dog on heat, ain't he?

- He'll take any girl, bird,
do you know what I mean?

- But I reckon tonight
Cara'll be like nah.

- Well, she won't be like, "Fuck
off."

She'll be on it, like Wallace &
Gromit.

- Where yous going?

- We're going down Sugars, ain't
we?

- No, I think yous two are
gonna have a good night tonight,

I've got a feeling about it.

- Yeah, no, my plan tonight is,

the more girls you go for,

obviously you get knocked back
more, but.

- Why do you have to plan out
your whole night with girls?

- Because by the time you get
into it,

you get like half hour left
then you do the panic buying.

- A what?

What's panic buying?

- Basically, something like
before the club closes,

half hour before the club
closes,

we've been drinking all night

and we start getting the
girls in then, don't we?

- Yeah, but at the end of the
night,

all the girls are really drunk,

why would you wanna get the
girls at the end of the night?

- 'Cause the girls at
the first of the night

are called the Mrs Dunnos.
- Yeah.

- 'Cause they dunno what to do,

they're like I dunno, I dunno.

- The girls at the end of
the night are the Mrs Yeses.

They're like yeah, come on then.

- Yeah, coz they're all lagging.

You can't take advantage of
absolutely lagging girls, Joe.

- No, well, not paralytic,
just like on the lag boat.

- This looks different, don't
it?

Who the hell wears these
shoes no one, Joey Essex does.

- No one does that to them.

I'm waiting for you again.

Oh, put it down.

- Wait, don't touch the shoes
bitch.

- Fuck off now, you fucking
boring mug.

[Joey laughing]

Let's go.

- Looking reem though, ain't
they, look.

- She's so grown up, she's
like obsessed with phones.

She's got four Blackberries.

- Shut up.

- Yeah, she had a pink
one when she was four,

then I got her a white one
'cause everyone had white
phones.

- Yeah.

- And then for Christmas
she asked for one,

so I got her a mauve one.

And then she see Joey had a
black one,

so she's gone back to the
thing now she wants black.

- [Lauren P] Oh god.

- So she's got a black one now

- And she knows how to
use it all and everything.

- [Chloe] I know.

- She's just trying to
be you though, isn't she?

- Yeah.

- Like copy what you're doing.

- But I just want Maddie
to do simple things,

like sleep in her own bed.

- So when she was born,
she stays in your bed,

or no, she stays in the cot?

- Never.

They're not to ever supposed
to sleep in your bed.

It's really annoying.

- Oh my god.

- Little big arm smacks me in
the face.

I'm always worried about my
veneers.

- [Lauren P] Oh my god.

- And then I sleep like
that, you know that?

So she can't get like near my
face,

'cause I just feel like I'm
gonna wake up

with a black eye or like no
teeth.

- It can't be doing
anything for your love life.

- Well, I haven't got one, have
I?

I'm like a one man band.

- You are.

- I think, this is not my life.

This isn't how it was meant to
be.

[upbeat music]

- Like, to be fair, I am thirsty
as tits.

What do you do tonight?

- Get laggo, get some more
girls.

- [Diags] Get laggo, laggo
raggo.

- And then go home with them.

- What about Cara?

What's she gonna say

if she sees you go home
with a little [whistles].

- If it don't work out with me
and Cara,

I'm not gonna hang about.

- She's a bit feisty, if you
piss her off, she will go sick.

- Yeah, but I find her really
sexy.

- [Joey] Yeah?

- Like I look at her and I
like just wanna bite her face.

Do ya know when you just look at
someone.

- [Diags] You wanna eat her?

- And you're just like [growls],
you know?

- You wanna bite someone's face
off?

- [Ricky] Yeah, I just
wanna bite her face.

- If I like someone we normally.

- I normally take them out
on a date or kiss them or.

- We don't bite them.
- No, I'd bite her face

and then ask her out on a date.

Well I'm not gonna bite
it so it's gonna bleed.

- How hard you talking?

- Just like a little - nah?

A little nibble.

Just a little nib.

- [Joey] Hannibal turnout.

- Little nib.

- Essex boys don't bite people's
faces.

- Listen, I don't follow what
everyone else does, all right?

I do my own thing.

- Every girl you take out, you
bit 'em?

- Bite their face.

Just a little nibble.

- It's quite weird.

- Don't you fancy it?

- I really don't want you to.

- Why don't yous two try it
then?

- No, I'm proper sweet.

- I don't wanna munch on his
face.

- I don't want anyone to bite my
face.

- I don't wanna take you out.

- What are you gonna do if,
like,

obviously Cara's there and Tom's
there.

Can't just snog her Cece's face.

- If she's single then
she's free game I think.

- What about Lydia?

What d'ya think of Lydia?

- [Diags] I think Lydia's
lovely.

- The Arg thing is so fresh

that at the moment it
don't appeal to me like.

- Would ya though?

- Yeah, I would, yeah.

But do ya know what I mean,
I aint gonna do it now,

it's too fresh to be jumping in,

like do ya know what I mean?

I'd feel like I'm actually
still touching Arg.

- That's raw, it's raw.

- I know Arg and Lydia
have split up, yeah,

but really they're not exactly
together

but there still going
through a really hard patch.

I think they're still together,

so everyone should just leave
it.

- Right well listen, I'm
gonna crack on with Cara,

see where that gets me,
if it don't work out,

I'm gonna move on.

[upbeat music]

- Yeah, that's it.

That's it, man.

- [Lauren P] The things we
have to do to ourselves.

- I know.

- I always swore that was
it, I was never gonna,

after my nose I was

like I'm never getting anything
else done,

never gonna have any surgery.

- Did you?

- And this bloody happens.

- Yeah, but this isn't really
your fault.

You're just making, like, that.

What is it when they say it,

you're making a shit situation
great?

- The best of it, yeah.

- Whatever that saying is.
- Best of a bad situation.

- Yeah.

- What were you like before
you had anything done?

- I've got photos, d'ya wanna
see?

- [Lauren P] Yeah.

- I'll show you some.

Obviously I had different hair
back then.

That is before I had anything
done.

- [Lauren P] Look how orange
Frankie is.

- [Chloe] I know, look at my
little boobs.

- [Lauren P] Oh my god.

- I'd never had anything.

Like most I'd done was bleached
my hair.

- Is that your lips?

- Yeah.

- [Lauren P] So your
lips were massive anyway.

- I know, I know, that's
my argument with people

when they go on about oh your
lips,

you've had too much filler.

I'm like what you talking
about, I had big lips anyway.

- Would you ever have anything
else?

- I was thinking about having
laser lipo.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah, 'cause that's just
a laser that zaps the fat,

and I was thinking about trying
that

'cause I thought like well
what can go wrong really?

- There's literally like a
surgery

for everything, isn't there?

- Yeah, thank god.

[women laughing]

[upbeat music]

[doorbell rings]

- You okay?

- Yeah.

- Alright?
- Yeah

- Just be strong, yeah.

Oh, hello James, cold out there,
innit?

- [Arg] It's freezing.

- [Debbie] All right?

- [Arg] Yeah.

- Thanks for coming, James.

- That's all right.

- 'Cause I just really
wanted to talk to you,

and I know like how down
you've been, and just.

I don't know, I've been
really concerned about you.

- When you're used to seein'
someone every single day

for four years

to all of a sudden having

that completely taken away
from you, it's just very hard.

- I know.

- And not just that, you know.

I continuously hear you say
about how much you're still

in love with me and you love me

and there's still, you
know, we still do have

a little bit of that physical
attraction that, you know,

if things have happened
over the last month.

And I have been quite
confused by it all, you know?

- Like, I don't want you
to sit here and think,

like, be in denial, and be like,
oh,

but we love each other,
we love each other.

Yeah, we did love each other
Arg,

but we were killin' each other.

It wasn't a fact that it
came from nowhere, was it?

You saw the relationship
deteriorate for a whole year

and one minute we were so in
love

and like cuddling and the
next mind we were sittin'

in the back of a cab arguin'
and like hittin' each other.

And I used to beg you,
please Arg, just go back

to the way it used to be

and if we could go back

to the way we were two
years ago, then I would.

But I cannot, I cannot
be with you now Arg.

- But then even when you found
out

the Chilton rumours and stuff
like that,

why was you so distraught
cryin' your eyes out?

- [Lydia] Because it made me
feel.

- To find out whether it was
true or not.

- Because the thought of
you bein' with someone

and bein' deceitful to me for a
whole year

of our relationship, ate at me,
James.

And I don't know how you can sit
here

and think that that
wouldn't kill a person.

I was clinging onto
hope and trying to hard

to make our relationship work

and the thought that you
were just goin' out there

and doin' that, that
absolutely killed me, Arg.

- I just want you to know that,
you know,

I'm not here tonight to beg for
you back.

I just needed to.

You know, I'm trying to be
positive now

and really sort myself
out, and no matter how,

you know, no matter how
angry I get or frustrated

and thinking how have I let
this happened, you know,

I could never blame you, okay?

Because when you did meet me, I
was what,

20 years old, I had a skinhead
I was, you know, 18 stone

and I never ever had a
girlfriend before you.

And you was the only girl
that looked past all that,

and you were the only girl
that really gave me a chance.

- And in time Arg I
think that you'll realise

that I made the right decision.

- [Arg] I know you have.

- And I know that you,

like I feel like, I feel
like I'm being blamed for it,

but I know that you.

I know that you know
that we weren't working,

I know that you know

that we weren't supposed to be
together.

- No, listen, listen, listen,
I will never ever blame you

for anything, because it's not
your fault,

it's my fault, okay?

And I can't hate you, because if
it wasn't

for you I might not have ever
been in love with someone.

- Stop being an idiot, Arg.

- No, it's true Lyd, if
it wasn't for you I might.

If it wasn't for you, you're the
only girl

that gave me a chance,
you're the only girl that.

And the thing why I'll never
hate you is

because I always know, no matter
what,

how upset or lonely or down I
get,

I will always know that
someone has loved me, you know?

And I'll always know that you
loved me,

and it makes me so happy to know

that I'd made someone really
love me.

- You've gotta, we've gotta move
on,

because of, we weren't
right together, Arg.

And I'm sorry like it hurts,
but I cannot be with you.

[melancholy music]

[upbeat music]

- The last time I saw you,

I was really, really pissed,
weren't I?

- To be fair, you liked
me a little bit more

than you let on.

- I think you are too cocksure.

- Listen, I wouldn't be cocksure

if I didn't have the
confidence from your show.

- No, because you're not like
it with just me babe, are ya?

You just wanna be friendly.

- So you've obviously been
watching me?

- [Cara] Okay, so what's
going on with and Lyds?

- You've had your little eye.

- [Cara] No, so what's
going on with you and Lydia.

- Nothing.

- [Cara] Nothing?

- We've been friends since
like we was four years old.

- [Cara] Yeah, nothing else?

- Not really.

- This is doing my nut in now.

- You're not really in the
position

to say anything, are you?

- How am I not?

- You're not.

- You've given her the
option to have an opinion,

why can't I have an opinion as
well?

But if that was your brother,
do ya know what I mean,

it would still annoy you.

I don't wanna make a
massive scene about it but.

- Don't let it wind you up, you
nutta.

- It winds me up, it properly
winds me up.

- Don't let it wind you up.

- Do ya know what,

I find you really quite
sexy you know that?

- Most boys do.

- Oh do they?

But most boys wanna
just bite your face off.

- No, they don't wanna bite my
face off,

they usually just wanna kiss me.

- What about if I just give you
a little?

- [Cara] No.

- Why not?

- [Cara] You are so forward.

- [Ricky] Why?

- You are so cock sure.

- Can I just at least try it?

- Ricky!

- Can I just give it a little..

Just have a little nibble

- [Cara] What are you doing?

- [Tom] Oi, what is that all
about?

Fuming hell.

- Listen, fuming hell, I'll
tell you what fuming hell is.

- [Tom] What?

- You and Billi, that's
fucking fuming hell.

- [Tom] That's not fuming hell
at all,

how's that fuming hell?

- No, maybe not, nah, didn't
think so.

- It's not fuming hell.

- Oh really?

- She kissed me.

- Just made it awkward, eh?

Just make it awkward.

- [Cara] Where you going?

- [Billi] Wee.

- Don't even know what
to say, to be honest,

you're doing my nut in, man.

- Awkward.

[upbeat music]

- I'm gonna go and find Tom,
man.

I'm gonna go see Tom, man.

[Ricky laughs]

- Great, so I'm the bad
guy in all this, am I?

- You're not.

- I feel like the bad guy.

- At the end of the day, listen,

Tom is with my best
mate Billi, yeah, well,

they can have a little snog,
whatever,

but I can't talk to you?

You're not even Tom's mate.

- I feel a little bit bad,

but I don't expect you to
be single, all your life.

- Exactly.

- We can just do again if you
want to.

He's gone now.

- Ricky!

- What?

He's gone now, we may
as well take advantage.

He's already annoyed

- Obviously, you have to
understand

that I'm sitting here with you
talking,

and then my sister's kissing
a boy right in front of me.

- I know that Tom, but you doing
all that

don't do me and you no favours.

- No, I understand that.

- I didn't think Cara
had a problem with me

and you going out but
then because you said

to her what you doing?

Then she went oh well, it's
alright

when you're going out with
Billi,

and it was like a dig, weren't
it, because it was like.

- I'm not just gonna sit there,
am I?

Yeah, but that's just natural.
- Come on, don't be silly,

don't let it wind you up.

Don't let it ruin our night out.

- What the hell is the problem?

- You're kissing other boys.

- Why would you walk off like
that?

Are you having a laugh?

- It was like getting a bit full
on.

- You having a laugh?

- No, it was.

- [Tom] It was, definitely.

- What it's not full on
that I walk in on yous two

in my conservatory having a
little kiss,

and I'm sitting there
with Ricky having a kiss.

- Yeah, what in front of me?

- It was hardly a kiss, was it?

- In front of me.

- In front of you hold on a
minute,

I don't think you're in
the right place to say

that I can't sit there.

- But I'm not saying anything,

I'm just saying what you
think I'm gonna sit there

and watch my sister kiss
a fella in front of me?

- No, don't.

It was hardly a snog, was it?

It was like a kiss on the lips.

- But I don't care, a
snog or kiss on the lips,

it's the same thing.

- Oh, go away Tom.

- What?

- As if.

I think taking my mate my
best mate out is much worse.

- Okay, then, well then.

- Well then.

- But do ya know what?

I don't even wanna talk
about this right now.

- Let's not.

- [Tom] Right, 'cause, whatever.

- Yeah, let's not.

- It's a joke.

Sit down and talk, d'ya know
what I mean,

between both of ya.

- You dug her out and
embarrassed
her in front of everyone.

- It's not embarrassed
her, she's embarrassing me.

- I don't wanna not go out with
you, I do,

but she means the world to
me and I don't wanna argue

with her.
- I know she does.

And she means the world.

- I don't want to argue with
her.

And everything tonight
that's happened Tom,

you've started and I'm
gonna have to sort it out.

- [Narrator] Next time
on The Only Way is Essex,

will Gemma's privates
still give her the hump?

- I have not got camel toe!

- [Narrator] Will Billi decide

to put misters before sisters?

- Are you winding me up?

- I am gonna go out on a date
with him.

- [Narrator] And has Ricky
bitten off more than he can
chew?

[upbeat music]

Who knows.

These people are real
and anything can happen

on The Only Way Is Essex.

[upbeat music]