All language subtitles for The.Only.Way.Is.Essex.S04E02.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-SLAG_track3_[eng]

massive trust issues,
and a dirty third eye.

The tans you see might be fake,

but the people are all real,

although some of what they do

has been set up purely
for your entertainment.

Previously on "The Only Way Is
Essex".

- I know I said girly night out.

- I'm having a good birthday
party.

- [Arg] I know you are, I know
you are.

Listen up.
- You're ruining it.

- Lauren, if I really wanted
to take relationship advice

from someone, I don't think
you might be the first person

I turn to.
- Why's that then?

Why's that then, Arg?

- My willy is killing me in
these jeans.

- You are unkind.

It's disgusting.

- Look at them two fellas.

[whistles]

[all laughing]

[upbeat pop music]

- Do you know what, I spoke to
Argent,

literally the other day and said
to him,

"Leave Lydia, give her
space, give her time,

"and then you'll find
that if she wants you,

"she'll come running back to
you,

"and if she don't, then you
know you gotta break apart."

- I know.
- What will be will be.

- I think that's it now though,
you know.

I don't think they're gonna
end up sorting it out.

Let's have a little rest.

Oh, hello baby.

[laughing]

Hello bubby boy.

- Awww
- Ooh.

- [Cara] Did you have a nice
little walk?

- [Billi] Hello.

- [Cara] I love these prams.

- [Billi] I know, so much
easier.

At least they don't get worn
out.

I think it's good though,
at least they get fresh air.

They've been for a walk, but
not physically had to walk.

- And we've been for a walk,

'cause that doesn't really
happen that often anymore.

- No.

So glad you didn't let
me get the pink one,

'cause I would've looked
ridiculous.

- I told you didn't I?

[upbeat pop music]

- [Carol] Hello.

- [Debbie] Oh hi darlin', how
are you?

- I'm all right, thanks.

How are you?
- Are you okay?

- Oh, just got down
here just to have a bit

of a rest, Carol.
- Aw, darling.

- This is my little haven down
here,

get away from the mad house,
to tell you the truth.

- I did hear.

- It just was, it was just all
horrible.

I mean thank god it happened
right at the end of the night.

The trouble is, is over the
time,

James has become part of our
family.

- Of course.
- And I'm not that person.

I'm not that person.
- No.

- Just to be able to cut it off.

- Who invited him?

- Well, I didn't invite him
- Or did you just find out?

- No, I actually told him.
- Oh, right. [laughs]

- 'Cause again, I put my foot
in.

- So you're in trouble again?

Trust you.
- Yeah, again, again.

- But you know what it
is, you try to help 'em.

- No, I did.
- But sometimes it's worse,

and it takes time, but you know,
I think--

- And I think, I think so if
they don't realise as well,

that you've been through things

like that.
- Oh yeah, they forget

about what we've been through.

- And that's what I try and say
to him,

you know, we've all
been through heartache.

We've all been through upsetting
times.

- Like, they try to say,
"Mum, you got married at 23,

"You had children at 25."

But it doesn't matter.

I said, "Them days, you
know, it happened that way."

- Yeah.

- Would you get married now at
23?

I wouldn't, would you?

- No.
- I'd sail around the world.

- I'm still not married now, and
I'm 50.

[both laughing]

- [Gemma] Thanks for coming
today, Jess.

- That's all right, I'm glad you
asked,

I love all this sort of thing.

- It's good, 'cause it's
like, so interesting,

but not many people get it.

I know I am spiritual.

My third eye has become like, so
blocked.

My aura's blocked.

Just before Christmas,
I was like, thinking,

you know what, I'm 31,

and not found the love of my
life yet.

You know the Ouija board?

- Oh, you didn't.

- I did it.
- Why'd you do that?

- And I asked it who I was gonna
marry,

and it couldn't tell me,

and then I think that like,

a demon's got inside
me, 'cause since then,

I've not felt normal.

- Really?

- That's why I wanna come today,

and get my third eye cleansed.

- A ghost isn't gonna be able to
tell you

who you're gonna marry.

- But it's like, the spirits,
they know the future.

But I'm not gonna be very
spiritual later.

I'm going poker with Joey.

- Are you?

- I'm gonna be rolling in them
chips.

[Jess laughing]

- So every time I wake up,

it's the first thing I think
about.

I think about Lucy and Mark.

First thing I think about every
day.

Before I go to bed, I sit
there and think, Lucy and Mark.

- The problem is not what she
done.

It's the lies after that.

- It's the two months of lies
after.

- How can you lie for so long?

- Yeah, I know.
- To everybody.

- [Mario] It's everyone.

- She didn't just lie to you.

She lied to everybody around
you.

How do you feel about her
though?

- I still love her.
- Yeah.

- And I wanna be with
her, but at the same time,

I don't, I can't forgive
her at the minute.

- Yes.

- 'Cause I've always
been a firm believer of,

once a cheat, always a cheat.

And if it had been any
other ex girlfriend,

would I have really, really
stood for it?

No, I'd have walked away from
it.

- Love is just a word.

You gotta trust someone, innit?

If you cannot trust someone,

then it's pointless.
- That's right, so now,

she said, "Oh, I'm gonna
spend the rest of my life

"making it up to you,

"I'm gonna prove to you
that you should be with me."

All this sort of stuff.

She hasn't done fuck all,

'cause I let her have me back so
quickly.

She hasn't done any of that.

If anything, she's more selfish
now than she's ever been.

She's taking everything for
granted.

I pay for dinner all the time.

I do everything all the time,
which I do not mind doing,

but she doesn't even say thank
you.

- Might as well just get a
hooker.

Pay the hooker, you only pay
once.

- Exactly.

- I mean, you're a nice looking
boy.

You got so much ahead of you.

You shouldn't waste time.

Go ahead, and make the most of
it.

That's what I think.

That's what my advice to you is.

Say it was a friend of
yours in your situation,

what would you tell him?

- Fuck her off.

[upbeat rock music]

- [Lauren P] Do you like
my new watch, girls?

- It's lovely
- Really nice.

- It's nice, nice chunky boy
watch.

Have you ever had a guy buy you
a watch?

- No.
- Yeah.

- Have you?
- Yeah.

- Have you still got it now?

- No, I sold it, and
put it towards my boobs.

[Lauren P laughing]

I sold it with my engagement
ring,

and put 'em both towards my
boobs.

[Georgina and Lauren laughing]

- Pops, what happened
with you and Prince Harry?

You had a little flirt.
- Just a little flirt up

didn't I, Chloe?

I was almost a princess.

- When?

- [Lauren P] That was like,
years and years and years ago.

- And you just bumped into
Prince Harry randomly?

- Well, I accidentally elbowed
him

in the middle of Chinawhite's,
and then,

I was like, "oh hiya."

[Georgina gasps]
- Do you know it was him

when you see him?
- Yeah, of course.

You can't really mistake Prince
Harry.

- I wouldn't know who
he was, if I see him.

- I probably wouldn't know it
was him

if he was out of his castle.

[Lauren P laughing]
Like in a nightclub,

I'd just think he was like,

a look-a-like, eh?

- [Lauren] No, it was mad.

- Imagine your life though.
- Princess Pope.

- Alright, fair enough you
would have been a princess

but boring hell.

- [Lauren P] I know, you
wouldn't be able to do nothing,

would you?
- Ugh, couldn't have all that,

carriages up the Embankment,
snoring.

- What is her surname?

Like what would my surname be?

- Princess.

- [Lauren P] What, Lauren
Princess?

- Yeah, no, you would have

just been Princess.
- Maybe Princess Lauren.

- Something like,

they have like an area.
- What, Harry York?

- Everyone can't just be
Princess London.

- No, cause they're
not really from London.

They live in Buck, Buck, I was
gonna say

Buckersfield!
- Buckersfield!

[all laughing]

They live in Buckingham,

but they're not really from
there.

- No, that's the palace.

- Yeah, but the Queen
lives there, didn't she?

- You would have been like

the Kate Middleton of Essex.

- I know.
- Yeah.

- Harry likes Essex apparently.

- No.
- Yeah.

- I feel too guilty, taking
a present off of him when,

and I feel like, as well, I feel
like

if I took the present off him

and opened it and like, said
thank you,

I feel like that's kind of
giving him, like, a false hope.

And I just gave 'em to my mom, I
was like,

"Look, mom, can you just give
'em to him?"

- What do you think it is?

- I think he got me a pearl
bracelet.

- It's better than
getting a pearl necklace.

- I've been here before, Lauren.

I've been here so many
times, and it's like,

it's just like although, like,

I'm really, really sad
that it's not worked out,

I've tried and tried.
- Yeah.

- For so long now.

- [Lauren G] Do you feel that
you need to meet someone else?

- No, I don't.
- You don't want that?

- I don't want it at all.

I feel like towards the
end of my relationship,

I felt so trapped the whole
time.

- How's things with your mom
now, with it?

- Yeah, again like things,

like things are fine.

Obviously she's just still like

good friends with James.

But I just don't want him to use
her,

like to ask always what I'm
doing and things like that,

because I feel like he just
needs

to be like cut away from me as
well,

like I do with him.
- Yeah.

- And that's the only
way I think it will work.

- So you're 100% not
getting back with him?

- No.

[energetic rock music]

- How good was last night?

[both laughing]

Ooh.

But that Georgina girl
was alright, wasn't she?

- She's a right naughty little
sort.

[chuckling]

- That sounds about right.

I'm gonna go see Micky after
this.

I've got to talk to her about
the poker night tonight.

- Oh, a poker night?

- You're gonna come yeah?

- Definitely will.

Call your bluff every single
time, mate.

I need to sort my outfit out.

- What are you gonna wear?

- Gotta poker myself up, haven't
I?

- I'll wear glasses, dog-ear
hat,

like strapped around my ears
like that.

- That's what I'm gonna wear.

[both laughing]

- You're going to close your
eyes

and take a very deep breath,

and breathe it down to your base
chakra.

- Do it like down there?

- Yes, exactly right.

Very slowly moving your
fingers and your toes,

just open your eyes and
come back into the room.

What did you feel, how
did you feel with that?

- I've got really bad pins and
needles.

- My ear's itching, is that a
sign?

[all laughing]

[sultry jazz music]

[clears throat]

- Whilst we're here, just me and
you,

sometimes I feel, you know,

I mean, it's quiet today,

but like, I feel that you don't

want to work here as
much as what you should.

- You're joking.

- No, like every time
like me or mum or anyone

who sees you like coming to
work,

and that it's like a moan or an
ugh.

It's not like, "Oh yeah,
it's our business, it's nice,

let's all go in and work."
- Right, right,

hold on a minute.

My job role when I started,
when we opened Minnies,

is to go buying, to work
in the shop every weekend,

and sort of, go to the office

and just see what's going on
down there.

Please show me something in
here,

when was the last time you went
buying?

- All right, okay, so the
last two times we went buying,

who drove, whose car did we go
in?

Mine.

- Stop making out you're
business woman of the year here,

'cause you're really not.
- Who said, oh go away!

Go on.
- No, you go away!

You go away, go on.

- No, you just come in--

- No, no, no, no, no.
- Probably choosing a dress

for the night out, off you go
again.

- Oh my God.

- You're just uptight cause
you're in a granny suit.

- It's hardly a granny suit,
darling.

- You look like you just
stepped out the zoo.

- You look like you're
from Big Fat Gypsy Wedding.

[birds chirping]

- [Lucy] Thanks for letting
me come over, girls.

- Anytime Luce.

- I've had so much crap
with Mario at the moment,

I just feel, ugh, usually
I'd speak to Lyd about it

but she's got so much going on,
ain't she?

And I just feel like I'll burden
her,

do you know what I mean?

- That's all right, you can
talk to us, you know you can.

So what's going on?

- He's just being, he's just
got like a split personality.

Like, all happy,

and then just suddenly he
changes,

and I just want to know
what's going through his head,

I really do.
- Have you,

have you asked him?

- I ask him and he's like
"I'm fine, I'm normal."

And I read somewhere like, if
your,

if you think your
boyfriend's hiding something,

or he's, whatever, being weird,

don't like snidely look down his
phone.

Like just ask to look down it,

and by his reaction you'll know.

We was driving the other
day, and I said to him,

"Mario, can I look down your
phone?"

He went, "No."

And I was like, "Why?"

And he was like, "Well, no you
can't."

- Would you let Mario go down
your phone?

- Yeah, he does.

No, I say to him.

I leave it on the side,
he'll take it to the toilet.

He'll take it when he have a
shower.

He'll never leave it near me.

- But do you trust him?

- I don't know.

- I think when you get that
feeling that something's up?

- It's up.

- Something's wrong.

[slow rock music]

- [Mick] Yeah, how you
doing, you all right?

- [Joey] Yeah, good man.

I was gonna sort of talk
about the poker night.

- It's all sorted, I've got the
table.

- [Joey] Yeah?

- [Mick] Got the cards all
sorted out?

- I've got the cards.

I've got a card shuffler.

- Alright, professional card
shuffler?

Proper machine that does it all?

- Well obviously, I paid
like four quid for it.

- Oh, did ya?

- Yeah, it's not very good.

- What'd you get it at a
boot sale, or something?

[both laughing]
Four quid?

- Got it at Argos.

[both laughing]

- [Mick] So you good at
the ol' poker as well,

are you, Joey?

- Yeah, I'm alright at it.

- Would you rate yourself, like,

do you think you're gonna do
alright?

- 40 to 70% good.

- Oh really?
- Yeah.

- That's good then.

- That's all right, innit?

Like obviously, 40% is
obviously the bad bit but--

I do good.

- [Mick] Do you want some eggs?

- I don't understand what it is
though,

is it like a poo?

- No, it's an egg.

It doesn't come out of their
bum, does it?

- What's it come out of then?

- Comes out their V.

- What's that?

- Like that's where an egg comes
from.

- Vending machine.

[both laughing]

So do the chickens have names?

- No, I don't have any,

well, I have one.

I've just got one called
Gemma, like the broody hen.

You know, you get one
that sits on the eggs,

like all the others--
- Why Gemma?

- I just call it, I don't know
why, it's just called Gemma.

Do you want to pick it up?

- Come on, pick it up!
- I'm cringing a little bit.

- [Mick] Pick it up.

Go on, go on.

Go on, catch it Joey.
[Joey giggles]

- [Joey] Oy, chicken chickens.

- [Mick] You run like a chicken,
Joey!

Yeah, now you've got cornered.

He's over. [laughing]

- [Joey] Oh my God.

Man.

- [Mick] Oh, Joey. [laughing]

- [Joey] I'm not picking up
a chicken if it bites me.

- [Mick] You've never known a
chicken--

[Joey screams]
[Mick laughing]

[Joey screams]
- Fucking hell!

Oh my God!
[Mick laughing]

[both laughing]

- Come on, let's get out of
here.

That was actually fear on your
face.

You ain't like that when
you're in Nandos, are ya?

- [Joey] Oh my God. [laughing]

[gentle rock music]

- [Arg] Ya alright, girls?

- Alright, Arg.

- Hello.
- Hey, Bill.

- [Billie] You okay?

- Yeah.
- Mwah.

- I'm gonna go anyways.

See you later.

- Bill?

[Sam scoffs]

You alright?
- What's that all about?

- Aw, don't.

She just can't seem to take
any constructive criticism.

Mwah.

- What you rowing about,
the shop and stuff?

- Just work and whatever,
bore you to death.

So how you been?

- Tell you what, I'm
not much better either.

I'm just finding it really hard

cause I can't really turn to
Debbie,

I've fallen out with Lauren a
little bit,

so I can't really talk to her
now.

And Joey's always off with
Diags, and--

- Yeah.
- I just feel like I've got,

you know, no one really to turn
to,

I'm a bit of a loner at the
moment.

- Aw, you've got me to talk to.

- Yeah, I know like you've
always been,

like one of my best friends.
- Yeah, of course.

Well, obviously I'm working,

so how about later?
- Yeah, yeah.

- When I finish wanna
go for a drink, yeah?

- Yeah, definitely.
- We'll talk about it.

- Yeah, I'd appreciate that.
- And don't be down.

- [Arg] I won't.

- I'll see you later on, yeah?
- Cheers Sam.

- See you later.
- Appreciate that, thank you.

- Hiya, you alright?
- Hiya, I am.

- Thank you.

[upbeat electronic music]

- I've booked a consultation.

- Really, why?

- Cause I've got these stupid
implants.

NHS is saying they'll take them
out,

but they won't put anything back
in.

- Oh God, you can't do that.
- I know.

Obviously, it's like a shitty
situation,

but obviously the positive side,

I get a new set of boobs.
- Yeah, right okay.

- And I can change what I
don't like about these boobs.

I was thinking maybe
go a little bit bigger.

- No.

- [Lauren P] But I know
everyone's gonna be like,

"Don't do it."
- Don't you dare.

Don't need to.

Don't want these big
tits and like, [laughing]

- Massive, massive like porno
tits.

- Don't.

- Do you know what I'm
really scared about though?

'Cause I, the last time
I had my boobs done,

I fainted all the time.

- Oh my God.

- [Lauren P] I know.

- Stress you don't need.

What is the fascination with
boobs?

All it is is like, a
round thing with, like...

[both laughing]

- With milk in it?

- Yeah, like I think,
why do men love boobs?

- Does it go back to like, moms?

You know how boys like,
[Lauren G laughing]

do you you know what I mean,
like?

- Hope not.
- 'Cause obviously,

it's like motherly, isn't it?

- Yeah.

No, but some boys love bums.

And don't like boobs.

What's that got to do with it?

The dad?

[both laughing]

[upbeat hip-hop music]

- Lauren and Lydia wouldn't shut
up

and she kept butting in
and made things worse.

- [Sam] Really?

- I just hated it.

- I think, genuinely, if
I'm gonna be honest with you

you might not like hearing it,

but maybe she wants to know
what it's like being single.

Over the last year, you've
kind of led the single life.

You're out all the time,
out with your mates.

You chat to girls, you're
very friendly with girls.

Very friendly.

I wouldn't be happy if
you were my boyfriend.

Like, do you know what I mean?

I'm always on your side, I
would never like, you know--

- What do you mean by that,
though?

- Like I just feel yous both
lead separate relationships.

When I'm in a relationship,

I like to do everything
together.

- Well, that's what we used to
be like.

- [Sam] That's what you used to
be like,

yeah.
- We were inseparable.

- So something's gone wrong
there.

So maybe that's why she's
taking this time for space.

Maybe she wants to make it work,

so she needs this period to be
on her own.

- That's fine and I'll give that
to her.

But what I won't do, Sam, is,

if I hear one thing about her,
you know,

that she's kissed another boy

or she's been with another boy,

I won't get back with
her and that'll be it.

- Yeah, but that, you saying
that,

it's well easy saying that now,

but let's say the shoe
was on the other foot.

We're in Essex and there's
always,

always rumours been flying
around, always.

There's always gonna
be rumours about this,

about you out clubbing, if
you've cheated.

If it got back to Lydia,

maybe that's what's playing on
her mind.

Maybe she's hearing rumours of
you.

Have you like, have you cheated?

- Of course not. [chuckling]

- I hear that, so she must hear
that.

- Yeah.

[upbeat electronic music]

- [Mick] Looking forward to the
poker?

- [Mario] Yeah, mate.

- [Mick] Got you poker face on?

- Yep.

- [laughing] Is that it?

- On it, yeah.
- How you doing anyway,

you alright?

- To be honest with
you, I mean, not really.

- No, what's up?

Thought you looked a little bit
down.

- Yeah, it's just like, things
with Lucy

ain't that good at the minute.

- Oh, ain't they?
- No.

- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
- Really, really bad.

- In Essex, like all the
guys and all the girls,

they all like, make an effort
don't they?

- Yeah.

- [Chloe] Like even if you're
going somewhere really simple

and they're like in
competition all the time, and,

do you know what I mean?

- It's called topping.

- Yeah, toppers.

- I haven't heard that saying
before.

- Toppers, it's like,
- Toppers, yeah.

- When people around you are
always trying

to outdo each other.

- Yeah.

- Obviously my dad knows me, he
said,

"You're not happy, you're not
yourself."

- Yeah.

- You know, like Mario, he so
would love

to like, aspire to
everything that Mick's got,

but I've never seen
Mick actually be flash.

- [Chloe] He's not flash.

- He's like proper old school,

earned his money fair and
square.

- Yeah, and he's careful.

He shops in Tescos.

- Does he?

- And he has Tesco's biscuits.

- Do you know, I think a real
telling time

is if you have time apart,

and then you might realise
whether you do

or don't really want.
- That's exactly

what my old man said, he said,
like--

- That's a good test really.

- Yeah, he said exactly the same
thing.

He just said, "Have time apart,
you'll know where you are."

- He'll never forgive her.

Although he makes it
out he's Mr. Big-I-Am,

I'm over it.
- He told me he's over it.

- What I heard today,
that he didn't like it

if Lucy put her tracksuit in his
wardrobe.

- Shut up!

- What's that about?

- Well, he can't love her that
much.

- You can never tell what goes
on

behind closed doors, or
wardrobes for that matter!

[all giggling]

- [Mick] So a good game of poker

will take your mind off it,
hopefully.

- Yeah, hopefully.

As long I don't get beaten by
the girls.

- Oh no.
- 'Cause that would

just literally be the icing on
the cake.

- Oh my God, no.

We're winners mate,
we're winners, let's go.

- Cheers, mate.
- Cheers.

- No more gate crashing girl's
nights out.

Right, come on I've got to go
anyway.

- Coming.

- Right.

Remember, yeah, just give
her some space, you know?

- Yeah.

- [Lauren G] Oh God.

- [Arg] You alright?

- [Sam] Alright?

- Calm down, yet?

- I'm calm.

Have you calmed down?

- Tried to, yeah.

I mean, I just think
you were out of order,

to be honest Lauren, the other
night.

- I'm out of order?

- Yeah, I do think that, yeah.

- I'm not out of order at all,
Arg.

Like, the way you spoke to me.

All I do is try to be there
for you, be there for Lydia.

I feel like--
- You haven't been there

for me, Lauren, at all.

- 100% been there for you.

- You haven't really been
there for me at all, Lauren.

Lydia's got all her friends,
- How have I not

been there for you?
- Her mom,

and everyone there, for me,

I haven't really had anyone,
to be honest with you.

And the other night was a
massive thing

for me to turn up to Lydia's
party.

- I wasn't being horrible to
you.

I literally said--
- Yeah, but all

I was trying to do,
- To go and talk to her

away from the table.
- All I was trying to do,

I went there to turn up--

- Yeah, I know, you was in a
right state,

and I could see that.
- I know, and all I wanted

to do was give her the presents,

quickly say what I had to say,

and leave it at that.

That's all I wanted to do, and
you made it so hard for me.

- Yeah, but you don't
do that at her birthday.

That was the worst thing
you could have done.

That's what I was trying to tell
you.

- It's up for me to decide.
- You don't listen

to my advice.
- Isn't it?

- Well not really, because
you're not getting very far.

Are you?

You have to realise to stop
suffocating.

- No, because the whole reason

I wanted to do it was to get
it out the way so it's done.

And I've told her that I'm
gonna give her space now,

and that's the end of it.

I didn't need you--
- You won't give her space.

- I will give her space, I have.

I've given her space.
- That's what you need to do.

- I'm trying to.

I don't know.

I just want to have a
friend there, Lauren.

- I'm there for you.
- I want to have a girl

that used to be

one of my best friends,
- I'm there for you.

- Who has all of a sudden, you
know, ganging up with Lydia.

- I'm not ganging up, no one's
ganging up.

You've gotta stop feeling
sorry for yourself.

Man up a bit.
- I'm not feeling sorry

for myself, I'm trying to man up
a bit.

- And realise the situation.

- That's what--
- You're going through

a break up, I'm there for both
of you.

Stop thinking the whole
world revolves around you,

because it doesn't.
- I'm not.

- You're quiet, Sam.

- It's just hard to get a word
in edgeways sometimes, innit?

- I don't wanna row with you,

I think it's more the
fact that he turns on me.

And I think he thinks
that I'm taking sides,

and I'm not and that's it.

- I just think that it's not
gonna work

with me trying to be your
friend,

Lydia trying to be your friend.

- Oh, don't be stupid.

- I just don't think it is.

I think you're better off,
you sticking with Lydia,

and I'll do my own thing now
and that's the end of it.

- Well, if you wanna be
like that, that's fine.

- Cool.

- Bye.
- Come on.

See ya.
- See ya.

[Lucy sniffling]

- God.

Basically, I was at Mario's
earlier,

and he left, he's got some poker
thing

that he's gone to with the boys.

And I stayed in his flat,
like watched TV and stuff.

And I just sat on his iPad,
like, just looking at stuff.

For some weird reason,
like I could see all his,

his emails going up and I
thought,

I just thought I'll have a look.

I know you shouldn't.

It's just loads and loads to
girls.

20, 30, 40!

- [Billi] What the same girl?

Or all different?

- No, all different,
like, 40 different girls,

like ridiculous amounts of
girls.

They're just so hurtful like,

and I look at the dates and
they're when I was with him.

So I'm sitting there
like the mug with him.

And he's sitting on his phone

and his iPad I fucking bought
him,

emailing all these girls.

- [Billi] And what was the
messages say?

What are they, like general
chat?

- Some of them are general chat,

and some of them are like him
asking them

to send naked pictures of them.

- Are you joking?

- So, I've had to sit and look.

- [Billi] Because of what you
done to him,

he thinks he can now do what he
wants.

- Do you know what it is, Bill?

The worst thing on here is one
of them

is to a girl on Christmas day.

And I'm laying there
cuddling him at the sofa,

he's sitting on his phone

messaging another girl
on Christmas. [sniffling]

- You alright?

- Right girls, who wants a cup
of tea?

- Yes, please.

- Luce?
- Yes, please.

I'd love something stronger
but I'll have a cup of tea.

- [Cara] Okay, tea first.

- Yeah, thank you.

- Let me go and help Cara get
the tea.

You alright?
- Yeah.

What am I gonna do about these
texts?

- [Billi] So awkward.

- I've received a few
messages from him too.

I wanna tell her, I
just don't think today,

you know, the state she's
in, is the right time.

- What an asshole, though.

- He's a proper prick isn't he?

- Right then.
- Go and see if she's alright.

- All right.

I think tonight, you wanna go
home,

put your jammies on, and
just have an early night.

Tomorrow's a new day.

- I don't think I'll be sleeping
tonight.

- I know, you just have to try.

Relax and chill.

[upbeat soul music]

- Are we alright to play
poker, do we know how to play?

- Yeah.

- If you know how to
play, put your hand up!

[Frankie laughing]

- Oh wow.
- You don't know!

- Joey!
- Half of you

don't know how to play.

- [Joey] Right, what's a flush?

- We sort of win, innit?

[all laughing]
- All right, what is it?

What is it though?

- [Mick] You don't really
know Gemma, do you?

- A flush is when you get an
ace, a two,

a six, a Jacks, and a Queen?

- [Joey] That's it, that's it.

- Have we got to strip?

- That's later.

[all laughing]

- Guys, so right.

Everyone tell me how good you
are,

how much percent are you?

- I'm 100%.

- You're not.

- I am.
- You're lying.

How about, what are you,
Frankie?

- I'm kind of no percent,

but I did win something
like 28 grand once.

- What about you Chloe,
where do you rank yourself?

- Minus percent.

[Chloe and Frankie laughing]

- [Joey] Well, I'm 70, so
that means I'm the best here.

- I'm the best here.

- You're not, you're not 100%,
mate.

- What the [beep], you absolute
melon.

[Chloe laughing]

- Look at all yous lot looking
at my ears.

Getting all distracted
cause I'm gonna win.

[all laughing]

- [Mick] Deal them out, dealer.

[upbeat soul music]

- Pair of tens.

- No, he's gonna smash you to
bits.

- I haven't got anything
there, but you know,

you've always got one of them
three.

- [All] Ohh!

[all clapping]

[all cheering]
- Well done, well done!

[all laughing]

- [Joey] What are you saying?

[all laughing]
- Ohh!

- [Gemma] Let's go again.

[sniffling]

- So, what I want to know
is, did anybody cheat?

- Today?
- I didn't.

- [Joey] Why would someone
cheat?

- [Chloe] Diags has got
embarrassed!

He's gone under pressure,
did you cheat, Diags?

- I lost!
[Chloe laughing]

I didn't cheat.

- [Mario] He's the worst
cheat in the world.

- [Frankie] I think Mario
cheated.

- [Chloe] Mario.

- [Mario] I didn't cheat.

- Mario's a cheat.
- No, you're straight.

- I don't think he did

well enough to cheat.
- He's cute,

but he's got a non-cute face,
so he blatantly cheated.

- [Mick] No, definitely not.

[all laughing]

- You've got to turn that
off, you're driving me mad.

- You're driving me mad.
- Keep going off.

- [Chloe] Can't really think
right now.

[all laughing]

- [Diags] What about you?

- [Chloe] Nothing.

I haven't really bought
anything that's pointless.

I'm quite sensible.

- [Diags] I don't think I have
either,

don't think I've bought anything
that's--

- [Joey] I bought a tracksuit.

- [Mario] Yeah, I'll see you all
later.

- You alright?
- Yeah, yeah.

- Alright mate, see you later
mate.

- See you later, man.
- See ya!

- What's happened now?

Did you say something to him,
upset him?

- He's been funny all day.

- [Gemma] Probably wants to
go and buy another watch.

- Nah, I had a little chat with
him.

I don't really think he's
getting on well

with Lucy at the moment.

- Nah, I had a chat with
him, no he's not, he's not.

They're having a bit of a tough
time.

- [Frankie] Well, what's
happened?

- [Mick] He says he's finding
it hard to forget things.

- Can't put the past behind him.

- He seems like a bit
different tonight as well.

Like quiet, didn't he?

- I think they're a nice couple
though,

when they've been together,
though, and they seem all right.

But you never know what goes on

behind closed doors, do you?

Anyway, anyone want another game
of poker?

- [Gemma] Yeah, strip.

[all laughing]
- Strip!

[gentle folk music]

[doorbell chiming]

[Mario knocking]

- [Mario] Please just let me in.

Baby.
[Mario knocking]

- [Mario] Oh come on.

[Mario knocking]

Lucy, please talk to me.

[Lucy sniffling]

Lucy.

[Mario knocking]

Lucy, please talk to me.

Please talk to me.

[upbeat electronic music]

- [Billi] Hello, baby!

- [Narrator] Next time, on
"The Only Way Is Essex".

Will Joey ever get to choke that
chicken?

- [Joey] Fucking hell!

- [Narrator] Will Prince
Harry ever take Chloe

up the Embankment?

- I probably wouldn't notice him

if he was out of his castle.

- [Narrator] And will Lucy ever
get round

to fixing that blind?

Who knows, these people are
real,

and anything can happen on
"The Only Way Is Essex".

[horns blow]