All language subtitles for The Girl from U.N.C.L.E. S01E07 The Danish Blue Affair

Direct hit. Target destroyed.

It works.

It works!

It works!

Magnificent shooting, Professor.

Very easy. The submarine was only 200
miles away.

Nevertheless, it proves that Spud can
destroy anything in the water. From a

guppy to an entire nuclear fleet.

It is the ultimate marine weapon.

Silent, swift, virtually undetectable.

It is perfect.

Not exactly.

In approximately five seconds, today is
an off -scene.

Tomorrow... What happened? Why did it do
that?

It happens every time.

And it will keep on happening until I
get the rest of the clans for the power

regulator module.

Without them, the unit will eventually
store up enough millivolts to blast us

into orbit.

Why those clans at Techlectro did not
build it directly into the circuitry?

My dear professor, you forget. It was
those clods at Techlectro who invented

SPAT. We merely borrowed their plans.

And may I remind you, the test for the
evaluating committee is only four days

off. I suggest you get the plans to me
no later than the day after tomorrow.

Calm yourself, my dear professor.

Our agent at Techlectro assures me he
has the situation well in hand.

I don't care if it's a man or a woman
doing the job, if the job gets done. Do

you understand? Ah, good. Thank you.
Wonderful. Have coffee. Coffee, please.

Which one of you miserable magpies
touched that blue cheese?

Well, I did.

We were out of blue cheese dressing, so
I made some.

What's wrong with that? Fool.

The cheese is in fury. I was sending it
back to my importer.

How many people did you serve it to?

Only one.

Table 12.

I am working on a paper now that will
absolutely prove the red -shift quasar

posture is compatible with Al's theory.

Al?

Einstein. Then you did your
undergraduate work in astrophysics, Dr.

Wiggins. No, no.

Medicine. I wanted to be a doctor. That
is, until I met Al.

Einstein.

Schweitzer. What would Al Einstein be
doing in the Congo?

Please accept my deepest apologies,
Mr... Dr.

Vicken. Thank you, Dr. Vicken.

Wrong salad.

That's the salad I started and that's
the salad I will finish.

But the blue cheese dressing, sir, it's
not up to our usual high standards. I

started, I ordered this, I will finish
it. My mother always said. I don't care

what your mother says. Now let go. Let
go yourself.

Let go. Let go.

Let go.

Let go.

Let go. Let go.

Let go.

Let go.

Let go.

Let go. Let go.

Let go.

Let go.

Don't think I won't report this to
personnel.

Shut up.

I'll blow his head off.

Yesterday's unfortunate incident at the
Techlectro Corporation had at least one

residual benefit.

We now know that Thrush has infiltrated
to the very top of our secret defense

planning. Our records show that every
Techlectro employee has a current top

security clearance, sir.

Including the chef.

That's a fact our Thrush friends would
find most amusing, I'm sure.

Do you notice anything peculiar about
their cheese?

Well, it's a bit gamey for my taste,
sir.

Hmm. Seems like an ordinary piece of
Danish blue.

Anything special about it?

I'll leave you to be the judge, Miss
Stanton.

A micro -duct?

The missing wedge was riddled with them.

But as the waiter didn't slice it
exactly on the mark, there are a few

that we've been able to salvage.

A light speed is supposed to kill me.

Seems the chef divided his talents
between the culinary and the

arts.

This is the same micro dot.

It's the final blueprint for Spud's
power regulator module.

What exactly is a Spud, sir?

It stands for Sonic Propulsion
Underwater Demolition. A weapon of

potential. The chef microfilmed each
Spud plan.

then secreted the microdots in wedges of
blue cheese.

Each week, he found an excuse to return
one or two of the wedges to the

importer, who in turn shipped it back to
Denmark and Thrush.

Do you think it's possible that Thrush
has already built a spud unit?

Yes, I do.

We believe it's the explanation of
yesterday's submarine disaster.

From the position of the wreckage, I
venture to say the spud unit is located

somewhere about here.

Without the power regulator module, the
spud unit could prove quite difficult

and dangerous to operate.

We have the cheese.

Thrush is only hope now of building a
module, as in Wickens' digestive tract.

So you want us to get to Wickens before
Thrush gets the microdots?

In addition to locating and destroying
the spud unit.

By the way, it might interest you to
know that your Dr. Wickens is an

imposter.

His real name, as far as we can make
out, is Stanley Umlaut.

His tech -lectro colleagues are quite
upset.

He had the lead in their amateur
theatrical production.

Well, I'm afraid dear old Stanley has
just lost his amateur status.

Oh,

none of that, sir.

I hope you forgive me.

And please enjoy your vacation.

Goodbye.

Anton?

That was very awkward of you.

Hand it over, you blatant throwback.

Hand what over, Connie?

It's in his cup, Connie.

Oh, thank you, Gretel, dear.

Hansel.

Heck, I never fun.

No, I'll show you fun.

How many times have I told you we don't
want the police around here anymore

looking for lost bullets?

You're a bad boy, Hansel.

And you know what Granny does with bad
boys?

Granny, I want Hansel and Gretel to pick
up our usual parcel at the train

station. And don't dawdle on the way.
There is not a moment to waste.

children.

Now go.

Fresh from the oven. Used the way you
used to like them as a boy.

I'm still the same boy you found
wandering in the woods, Granny.

Everything I am today, I owe to you.

I always knew you as different from the
others.

You had ambition.

True. While most of my playmates were
content to remain mere soup stains on

vest of time, I strove to engrave my
thumbprint on the eyeglass of eternity.

Oh, you do have a way with words.

Well, I must be off.

I just received a message from Central.

There was a slip -up at the tech -lectro
end. Our man narrowly escaped.

What about the plants?

Safe.

Fortunately, the bungling fool managed
to ship them. You'll have them within

hour. And then, Professor, nothing can
stop us.

Oh, really?

Why don't you go get the rental car,
huh? Right -o.

I hope it doesn't lead up another blind
alley.

I'll wait here. I'll be right back.

Good God.

Oh, Hansel.

I hope you're feeling strong today.

Why today?

Instead of your usual parcel of one or
two cheeses, this time Granny's got a

whole plate on her hands.

You sure this is ours?

Yeah.

Oh.

Really better shape up. There are so
many refugees coming back from the

States. The government will be after her
to get an import license.

How are you? How do you feel?

How do I feel?

I went numb over Halifax. Oh, it's
pressure. Terrible.

Come on. Wait a minute.

Stanley.

Stanley. Here.

Here. Let me get your feet.

I can't believe it.

Would you mind telling me what is going
on?

It's time to not make her.

We've got to try and get out of here.

company. Let's give them a rousing
welcome.

Well, here's another fine mess you got
me into, Stanley.

Uh, no, sir.

I checked out the railway station after
I found a cosmetic bag, but nobody

remembers seeing a lead.

Uh, Mr. Stanley Umler.

Any progress to report there?

I haven't picked up his trail yet, sir.
At the moment, I'm in... At the moment,

Mr. Slade.

Uh, is that a message from me, Mr.
Covington? Not exactly, sir. I was on

the newsroom when this came over the
Scandinavian wire. I thought you'd want

see it.

Mr. Slade, I have a report to hear that
a sudden rash of dead fish have turned

up in the water's old harbour.

Local fishing association claim that the
fish have been poisoned.

Oh, it might just be a spud unit.

It's an interesting correlation, dead
fish and thrush.

Check it out.

Here's a two.

As for Miss Dancer, I'm certain we'll
hear from her before long.

That girl has an uncanny knack for
survival.

Yes, sir.

I'd feel a lot better if I knew where
she was.

Why did I order that salad?

Who was it that said, there's something
there is that doesn't love a walk?

My mother.

Your mother said that?

No, no, no. I mean, I ordered that salad
because of my mother.

Look, she starts squirming around. I
almost had it that time.

She worries a lot about my health.

Who does?

Oh, brother. My mother. Oh, I got it.

Now, careful, careful.

Yeah. Careful. Don't drop it.

Like the time I was in Alaska, she used
to send me a crate of lemons.

You know, my mother's very big on
vitamin C, the sunshine vitamin.

Uh -huh.

What were you doing in Alaska?

Practicing law. But then things got kind
of slow, you know, so I switched over

to oral surgery.

By the way, you've got a very nice bike.

Thank you.

No wonder your mother worries.

She gave birth to a cast of thousands.

Why do you do it, Stanley?

Repersonating lawyers and dentists. No,
oral surgeon.

There's a big difference between general
dentistry and oral surgery, according

to the American Dental Association.

This is hardly the time or place for a
toothpaste test.

Oh,

plastic explosives.

You didn't... Yes, I was the demolition
expert on the S1 dam project. Well,

this project's just a little smaller.
The theory's the same.

Yeah? Now, when this door blows, you
just put your head down and follow me,

right? Yeah.

Here you go.

Hello?

Now I'll have to get a new door for my
key.

Another moment you could have saved
yourselves the trouble, Miss Stanza.

It's that time.

What time?

Time to operate.

On Stanley.

Huh? I simply must have those micro
-dots.

After you.

No.

They're mad, all of them.

Now, now, Stanley, there's no need to
carry on this way.

I assure you Granny knows exactly what
she's doing.

It will all be over before you know it.
That's exactly what I'm afraid of.

Look, can't we talk this over before
it's too late? But there's nothing to

about. The micro dots are here. The only
way to get them out is there.

Elementary, wouldn't you say, my dear
Stanley?

Oh, yes.

Stanley! Get back!

Yeah.

wouldn't you, Miss Dancer?

You both must be exhausted after so much
exercise.

A nice invigorating dip should fix that
up properly.

Enjoy your swim while it lasts.

Glasses. Everything is blurry.

One thing's clear. If we don't drown,
we'll freeze to death.

Well, wait a minute.

They have to let the water out of here
somehow. Did you see anything that

like a drain?

I wasn't looking.

But I will now. Here goes.

Did you find anything?

We have the hatch down there. It's that
door. Can you help me?

Wait a minute. I've got some water in my
ear.

Come on.

Look, you're making a bad mistake. I'm
not who you think I am.

Our friend here says we're making a bad
mistake.

Is that right?

Right.

He also says that he's not who we think
he is. Right again.

You pompous carp.

You think I'm going to stand here while
you lie your guilt away?

We caught you red -handed poisoning our
fish and grounds.

Can you deny that?

Vigorously, if you only let me.

Who do you work for?

An organization called Uncle.

Why are they poisoning our fish?

They're not thrushes.

It's very simple. If you'll just let me
explain.

There's no use being gentle with your
kind.

There's only one language you clizlings
understand.

You're perfectly right, Oli.

Why didn't they let you know sooner?

The evaluating committee apparently
couldn't care less about my schedule.

They just up and tell you they're
arriving a day sooner because their

demands it.

Will you be ready for the test?

I'll have to be.

After you finish the autumn, please, and
have the my products, Wotan assures me

he can build the regulator module in
eight hours.

Of course, the new schedule means I'll
have to select a new... A new test

to coincide with their change of plans.

Have there been any further intercepts
of fresh messages this evening?

Uh, no, sir, just that one.

At least we know the date of the spud
test.

And that the evaluating committee is
arriving a day earlier than expected.

Yes, we know that, all right.

What we don't know, that pains me.

Where the test will be held.

What the new target will be.

Mr. Kovacs, if you were the head of
Danish Thrush and you were faced with

problem of finding a new test target,
which of these vessels would you select?

They'll all be within a thousand miles
radius of Denmark by tomorrow noon.

Uh, this one, sir, the Remus.

Why so certain?

Playing a hunch?

No, sir. If I were about to launch a new
weapon, I'd look for a target worthy of

its powers.

The Remus will be approximately 600
miles off Denmark tomorrow on her maiden

voyage. She's been publicized as the
fastest and safest ship ever built. Yes.

We'll be in keeping with rush methods.

If only we'd be certain.

The older I grow, the more I realize
that life is one gigantic series of

compromises. Don't fret about it, Ori.

I'm sure that the Remus will be a lovely
target for the test.

I was really looking forward to that
nuclear carrier.

What a bang she would have made.

I hope the committee will understand.

for some searching parties, Mr. Beckman?
What do you think, you stupid lout?

I want every man we have into the field.
I want you to tear up the countryside,

do anything you have to, but find them,
and when you do, kill them on

sight.

Bergman's men must be crawling all over
the place. We'll be safer in the forest.

That sounds like a motorcycle.

It only sounds like a motorcycle. It is
a motorcycle.

Come on, Sam.

Throughout a dangerous road, someone
should put a stop sign here.

you could find some way to attract his
attention.

Sure.

Excuse me, my good man.

I say,

old chap, is that absolutely necessary?

Accosting people in the streets?

All I want to know is the directions to
the town square.

The square?

I mean, really.

Good.

I used to teach karate in Tokyo.

What is the delay? Why do we not stop
the test at once?

Budman, are you having trouble?

No trouble, sir. What makes you think we
have trouble?

No, I shall tell Volkan to start
immediately.

Hansel.

This is Bradley calling.

Do you read me?

Some disastrous habit.

I can feel it in my bones.

Anywhere again?

Nothing.

Perhaps we should postpone the test
until the uncle agents are found.

Impossible.

My entire future in trash depends on
this test.

If I fail now, I may never have another
opportunity to prove my leadership

ability. But this is sheer folly.

Once I bring the spy unit up to full
power, we're doomed.

You saw yourself what happens with only
partial power.

We must have the regulator module.

Remus will be less than 500 miles off
the coast.

Half power should more than do the job.

Start warming up the units now,
Professor.

Someone has broken the electric bi -beam
in the main tunnel.

is what I call a determined woman.

Foolish, but determined.

Have Stanley placed in a maximum
security cell.

What about her?

I shall look after her personally.

Exactly. You see, we start the test
immediately.

I demand to know what is the delay.

My dear Sendall, what are a few extra
moments when you learn of the surprise I

have planned for you?

Surprise? What kind of surprise?

Have you heard of April Dalton?

The Uncle Agent? The very pretty Uncle
Agent.

What about her?

In addition to the test, gentlemen, it
will give me great pleasure to present

for your edification and entertainment
her demise.

Now, if you'll follow me, please.

This gentleman is the Remus.

In a few minutes, she'll be entering our
target zone.

And now, for a preview of the
entertainment I promised you.

Excellent, Bergman.

Excellent.

I knew you'd appreciate it, gentlemen.

The instant the spud beam comes up to
full power, as it streaks toward the

liner,

Bye -bye, little uncle girl.

I told you your way wouldn't work.

He has a strong bag, that one.

What if he was stealing the tooth?

Oh, it all starts up again.

It's as guilty as they come.

He's worth more to us dead than alive.

Let's string up his miserable body in
the town square as a warning to his team

and friends.

machine gun.

Ah, I invented it. The Stanley Mark IV.

That's my gun.

You invented this?

Yes, my son, which is why I must warn
you. Do not try to fire that particular

weapon under any circumstances.

The firing pin?

Defective. Yes, that could be one of the
earlier models with the weak recoil

spring, which caused a lot of them to
blow up right in your face.

Here. Let me look at that, my son.

Yeah.

Uh -huh.

Take off your clothes.

Faster. The test, gentlemen, will begin
in exactly

ten seconds.

is zero minus one minute of time.

Zero minus 55 seconds.

Bergman wants you. He asked me to take
over.

Tell me, Bergman, is there any way for
the spud beam to unlock itself from its

target?

Virtually impossible.

The only thing that could possibly make
it deviate from the target would be a

close -range signal on the same
frequency.

The likelihood of that ever happening is
most remote.

Zero minus 30 seconds.

The unit.

Have we left the signal?

No, we're still on dock with it.

Do something. The unit is out of
control.

We'll pick up and have the signal in our
favor. I can't jam it out.

Take her to port.

Back to tarmac.

Half speed.

Reverse your engines.

assassin from the thief.

First poison, then we'll wreck Channel
Market.

Gentlemen, I don't have a clue as to
what you're talking about.

But I'd be absolutely delighted to come
on board and listen to whatever you have

to say.

The signal must be coming from the
communications room.

Guards! Guards!

Someone is using a transmittal in the
communications room. Get it!

I can't bring you back to the position.

It's out of control.

I say, I think we've popped off at the
wrong time. Good job.

It's going to blow up.

I want to get through.

I've got a chance of a lifetime on my
hands, and you wipe it away.

I won't do that, Mark.

I didn't go to the downfall.

You did.

makes you think I would believe anything
you say?

Look, John, you can always shoot us
later, but unless you turn this boat

and get it moving fast... We'll blow up.

Both of you try my patience with your
lies. I think I'll kill you now.

We tried to warn him.

At least now he won't be on our cut.

You're telling the truth?

Yes.

Happens to the best of us, everyone, so
what?

Look, not a quarter to two.

Are you sure you told Stanley to meet us
here?

Twice. He said he had to go off and buy
a souvenir for his mother.

Mark. Hmm?

You don't think he could be off on one
of those?

No, I think he's cured of that for good.
I hope you two aren't waiting for this

train here.

Shouldn't we be?

Well, it has been chartered by the Prime
Minister of Rupi. No passengers

allowed. Now look here, I've got to be
in Copenhagen by 6 .30. I have a plane

catch. I'm sorry, but the Prime Minister
has taken over the entire train.

He's giving a private party.

Your names wouldn't be...

Dance and say good day. Yes, yes. Why
didn't you tell me? Here are your names

from the Prime Minister's VIP list.

Thank you.

Check this out.

I don't believe it.

If you knew Stanley like I know Stanley,
you'd believe anything.

Well, shall we?

Mustn't keep the Prime Minister away.