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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,071 --> 00:00:03,306 Moderator: Welcome back to King Con! 2 00:00:03,373 --> 00:00:04,910 We've got a ton of heavy hitters here. 3 00:00:04,976 --> 00:00:06,345 Odysseus, King of Ithaca-- [Crowd cheers] 4 00:00:06,445 --> 00:00:08,384 Moderator: Theseus, all the way from Athens-- 5 00:00:08,484 --> 00:00:10,254 [Crowd cheers] Moderator: Volkar from Koth-- 6 00:00:10,354 --> 00:00:12,457 [Crowd cheers] Moderator: Oedipus from Thebes, 7 00:00:12,525 --> 00:00:16,198 that's a fun story... and a newcomer to King Con, 8 00:00:16,265 --> 00:00:19,707 Tyrannis of Krapopolis. Scott: Yeah! 9 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:21,109 Moderator: So let's talk king stuff. 10 00:00:21,242 --> 00:00:22,713 Why don't we start with an easy one? 11 00:00:22,846 --> 00:00:24,115 What's your origin story? 12 00:00:24,249 --> 00:00:26,285 How did you get your mandate to be the king? 13 00:00:26,385 --> 00:00:27,989 Tyrannis: Mandate. Moderator: That's what 14 00:00:28,089 --> 00:00:29,660 the people wanna hear! Odysseus? 15 00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:33,233 Odysseus: Well, I can tell you how I reclaimed my throne. 16 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,437 That all started when I won a little thing 17 00:00:35,571 --> 00:00:37,241 called the Trojan War. 18 00:00:37,374 --> 00:00:39,078 [Crowd cheers] Odysseus: Also 19 00:00:39,145 --> 00:00:40,848 had a trip called the Odyssey. 20 00:00:40,982 --> 00:00:42,786 Maybe you've heard of it. [Crowd cheers] 21 00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:45,558 Moderator: So not only did you become king but they named 22 00:00:45,658 --> 00:00:48,263 the whole idea of road trips after you. 23 00:00:48,396 --> 00:00:50,869 Odysseus: And when I got home, my wife had 24 00:00:51,002 --> 00:00:52,539 108 suitors, and I just 25 00:00:52,673 --> 00:00:55,243 murdered the hell out of 'em. [Crowd cheers] 26 00:00:55,310 --> 00:00:58,116 Volkar: I was born in a volcano! 27 00:00:58,183 --> 00:01:00,120 Moderator: Well, let's talk about that, Volkar. 28 00:01:00,187 --> 00:01:02,659 Volkar: I was born in a volcano. 29 00:01:02,726 --> 00:01:04,997 Moderator: Yes, I see your point. Theseus? 30 00:01:05,097 --> 00:01:06,399 Theseus: I guess what really sealed it 31 00:01:06,533 --> 00:01:08,938 was when I... killed the minotaur. 32 00:01:09,005 --> 00:01:10,274 [Crowd cheers] 33 00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:11,711 Moderator: Now that's a mandate! 34 00:01:11,844 --> 00:01:13,346 Volkar: Born in a volcano! 35 00:01:13,413 --> 00:01:14,850 Moderator: Also a terrific mandate. 36 00:01:14,984 --> 00:01:16,419 Now, Oedipus, I know you've got 37 00:01:16,521 --> 00:01:19,225 an interesting origin story. Oedipus: We talked about this. 38 00:01:19,292 --> 00:01:21,664 Moderator: Just tell people. Your story is great. 39 00:01:21,797 --> 00:01:23,534 Oedipus: We agreed this topic was off limits. 40 00:01:23,634 --> 00:01:27,041 Moderator: OK. Tyrannis? How'd you get that crown? 41 00:01:27,141 --> 00:01:28,410 Tyrannis: Yeah, I think the people 42 00:01:28,511 --> 00:01:30,014 really want to hear Oedipus' story. 43 00:01:30,147 --> 00:01:31,315 Oedipus: I don't want to tell it. 44 00:01:31,416 --> 00:01:32,752 Tyrannis: Oh, come on. It's King Con. 45 00:01:32,886 --> 00:01:34,188 We've all got origin stories. 46 00:01:34,288 --> 00:01:37,027 Oedipus: I killed my dad and slept with my mom, OK? 47 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:39,198 Everyone laugh, ha ha ha! [Crowd gasps] 48 00:01:39,298 --> 00:01:40,467 Oedipus: I didn't know! 49 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,138 Moderator: I can't even imagine 50 00:01:42,271 --> 00:01:43,173 what you've been through. 51 00:01:43,273 --> 00:01:44,610 Oedipus: I was so ashamed 52 00:01:44,710 --> 00:01:45,979 I stabbed my own eyes out. 53 00:01:46,046 --> 00:01:47,147 That's why I don't have eyes. 54 00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:48,417 [Crowd cheers] 55 00:01:48,551 --> 00:01:50,287 Tyrannis: Wait, you guys are cheering for that? 56 00:01:50,387 --> 00:01:53,327 Man: Of course we are! His reaction to the tragedy 57 00:01:53,427 --> 00:01:55,264 proves he's worthy of his crown! 58 00:01:55,330 --> 00:01:57,969 Tyrannis: OK, then, I'll tell you how I became king. 59 00:01:58,103 --> 00:02:01,309 I gathered the people and told them I was starting a city. 60 00:02:01,409 --> 00:02:03,848 A new kind of city, where the people have a say. 61 00:02:03,981 --> 00:02:07,822 And that I would be their king. King of the people! 62 00:02:08,691 --> 00:02:11,095 Odysseus: So...you got yourself a crown 63 00:02:11,195 --> 00:02:12,464 and declared yourself king. 64 00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:13,934 Theseus: How is that even legal? 65 00:02:14,068 --> 00:02:15,303 Tyrannis: That guy slept with his mom! 66 00:02:15,437 --> 00:02:18,309 Man: Bravely! Man 2: I think it was brave. 67 00:02:18,409 --> 00:02:21,048 Oedipus: Ha! Now I don't feel so bad. 68 00:02:21,148 --> 00:02:24,022 Oh, yes, I do, I still feel bad. 69 00:02:24,088 --> 00:02:26,392 Mommy! 70 00:02:26,493 --> 00:02:37,214 โ™ช 71 00:02:37,314 --> 00:02:38,416 Men: โ™ช Uh! โ™ช 72 00:02:38,551 --> 00:02:42,559 โ™ช 73 00:02:42,659 --> 00:02:44,930 โ™ช Uh! Uh! โ™ช 74 00:02:44,997 --> 00:02:49,405 โ™ช Uh, uh, uh, whoo! โ™ช 75 00:02:51,109 --> 00:02:52,912 Tyrannis: I swear, every single one of them 76 00:02:52,979 --> 00:02:54,348 had a better origin story than me. 77 00:02:54,481 --> 00:02:56,352 They all fought monsters or won wars 78 00:02:56,452 --> 00:02:58,356 or were born inside of volcanoes. 79 00:02:58,489 --> 00:03:00,060 Hippocampus: Oh, I've met that guy. 80 00:03:00,127 --> 00:03:01,630 Shlub: What an absolute stud. 81 00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:03,233 Tyrannis: Meanwhile, what do I have? 82 00:03:03,366 --> 00:03:04,636 Stupendous: Family? Tyrannis: Not now, Stupe. 83 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:06,607 I just think people don't take me seriously enough 84 00:03:06,673 --> 00:03:09,211 because they don't realize I rightfully deserve this. 85 00:03:09,278 --> 00:03:10,648 Shlub: They show up for your speeches. 86 00:03:10,782 --> 00:03:12,118 Tyrannis: They show up for the snacks. 87 00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:13,486 Shlub: Guilty as charged. 88 00:03:13,554 --> 00:03:15,090 Tyrannis: I mean, I have the crown, the palace, 89 00:03:15,156 --> 00:03:16,994 the absolutely huge olive, but I've been 90 00:03:17,127 --> 00:03:19,031 missing the most important thing of all. 91 00:03:19,131 --> 00:03:20,535 Stupendous: Family. Tyrannis: No. 92 00:03:20,635 --> 00:03:22,104 Stupendous: Just trying to get ahead of it. 93 00:03:22,204 --> 00:03:23,508 Tyrannis: What I'm missing is a mandate! 94 00:03:23,641 --> 00:03:25,477 Shlub: Yeah, good luck topping that volcano. 95 00:03:25,545 --> 00:03:27,783 Wait, what if you did top a volcano? 96 00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,387 Probably too risky. Love to see someone try, though. 97 00:03:30,487 --> 00:03:31,957 Deliria: Tyrannis, would you like me to set up 98 00:03:32,024 --> 00:03:33,393 a little show of strength for you? 99 00:03:33,527 --> 00:03:35,531 Put a sword in a stone that you can easily pull out? 100 00:03:35,664 --> 00:03:37,502 Tyrannis: No stunts. That's old school kinging. 101 00:03:37,569 --> 00:03:38,671 I'm a different kind of hero. 102 00:03:38,804 --> 00:03:41,242 My mandate must come from the people! 103 00:03:41,309 --> 00:03:42,546 Instead of me just being their king, 104 00:03:42,679 --> 00:03:45,050 what if they chose me for the job? 105 00:03:45,150 --> 00:03:46,687 Shlub: The people choosing their ruler? 106 00:03:46,820 --> 00:03:48,557 Tyrannis: My position would be cemented 107 00:03:48,690 --> 00:03:50,293 by their desire for me to do it! 108 00:03:50,427 --> 00:03:52,532 That would be the greatest mandate of all! 109 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:53,868 Shlub: Consensual kinging! 110 00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:55,638 Tyrannis: The will of the people is my volcano, 111 00:03:55,705 --> 00:03:58,143 and I will be born in the fiery bosom 112 00:03:58,243 --> 00:03:59,411 of the citizens' consent! 113 00:03:59,512 --> 00:04:01,382 Stupendous: Like I cut people open 114 00:04:01,448 --> 00:04:02,952 and you pop out of their chest? 115 00:04:03,052 --> 00:04:06,192 Tyrannis: No! It will be a simple process of voting. 116 00:04:06,292 --> 00:04:09,465 We'll call it a Selection. No, a Tylection. 117 00:04:09,566 --> 00:04:10,702 Tell the citizens to gather 118 00:04:10,835 --> 00:04:13,406 tomorrow morning for an announcement! 119 00:04:13,473 --> 00:04:15,410 Tell them there'll be baklava. 120 00:04:15,477 --> 00:04:17,983 Athena: Yoohoo, hi, Deliria. Like my new ride? 121 00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:21,455 Apollo took apart some eagles and made them into this for me. 122 00:04:21,556 --> 00:04:23,460 Deliria: How lovely for you, Athena. 123 00:04:23,594 --> 00:04:25,598 Athena: Oh, hi, Slug. Didn't see you there. 124 00:04:25,731 --> 00:04:28,403 Shlub: It's Shlub, and as odious as you are, 125 00:04:28,470 --> 00:04:30,841 I refuse to let you ruin our warmup sex. 126 00:04:30,975 --> 00:04:32,679 Deliria: I know what she's doing. It's the night of 127 00:04:32,745 --> 00:04:35,483 the Thousand Year God Ball and she's coming to gloat. 128 00:04:35,584 --> 00:04:38,056 Athena: It's the social event of the millennium. 129 00:04:38,156 --> 00:04:39,425 You've never seen a party like this. 130 00:04:39,492 --> 00:04:40,862 Why aren't you dressed for it? 131 00:04:40,962 --> 00:04:44,202 Oh, that's right, you don't get invited anymore 132 00:04:44,335 --> 00:04:46,105 since you're not an Olympian anymore. 133 00:04:46,205 --> 00:04:48,309 Such a shame, what I and all the other gods 134 00:04:48,376 --> 00:04:49,947 did to you by kicking you out. 135 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,182 Deliria: Are you finished? 136 00:04:51,249 --> 00:04:52,586 Athena: Not as finished as you are. 137 00:04:52,652 --> 00:04:54,355 Deliria: Clearly you're still obsessed with me 138 00:04:54,455 --> 00:04:55,524 or you wouldn't be here. 139 00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,127 Athena: Wrong. You're obsessed with me. 140 00:04:57,227 --> 00:04:59,231 Deliria: You wish. Athena: You wish I wish. 141 00:04:59,331 --> 00:05:00,635 Deliria: I couldn't wish any less. 142 00:05:00,735 --> 00:05:02,605 Shlub: Athena, you've angered my wife, 143 00:05:02,705 --> 00:05:04,208 which only makes her hotter. 144 00:05:04,341 --> 00:05:06,445 Leave now or be forever scarred 145 00:05:06,513 --> 00:05:08,483 by the sight of my back sex organs. 146 00:05:08,618 --> 00:05:09,853 Athena: I'm leaving, I'm leaving! 147 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,489 Anyway, Deliria, since I know you're sad 148 00:05:11,624 --> 00:05:13,193 that you can't come, I'll stop by tomorrow 149 00:05:13,260 --> 00:05:15,097 and tell you all the fun stuff you missed. 150 00:05:15,197 --> 00:05:16,199 Deliria: Don't want to hear it. 151 00:05:16,266 --> 00:05:18,470 Athena: You will anyways. Ta-ta! 152 00:05:18,537 --> 00:05:20,274 Shlub: Do you need a minute to cool down? 153 00:05:20,374 --> 00:05:21,743 Please say no. 154 00:05:21,810 --> 00:05:23,514 Tyrannis: Citizens of Krapopolis. 155 00:05:23,647 --> 00:05:25,116 Joshua: I-I have a question, 156 00:05:25,216 --> 00:05:26,653 specifically about the food? 157 00:05:26,787 --> 00:05:28,123 Tyrannis: We're not at question time yet. 158 00:05:28,223 --> 00:05:29,392 We're at the announcement part. 159 00:05:29,526 --> 00:05:30,862 Kayleigh: Right, but there's enough baklava 160 00:05:30,995 --> 00:05:32,131 for all of us, right? 161 00:05:32,264 --> 00:05:33,768 You didn't skimp? Cuz you've done that. 162 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,638 Tyrannis: There will be plenty of baklava for everyone. 163 00:05:35,771 --> 00:05:39,045 I, your king, have bravely and magnanimously decided 164 00:05:39,145 --> 00:05:42,618 to give you the chance to choose me as your king. 165 00:05:42,685 --> 00:05:44,656 Joshua: I'm confused. Miriam: You're the king 166 00:05:44,789 --> 00:05:47,161 and now we have to choose you to be the king? 167 00:05:47,261 --> 00:05:48,429 Tyrannis: You don't have to choose me. 168 00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:50,400 You can choose to choose me. 169 00:05:50,501 --> 00:05:51,937 Joshua: Just tell us what to do, man. 170 00:05:52,070 --> 00:05:54,308 Tyrannis: The whole point is I don't tell you what to do. 171 00:05:54,409 --> 00:05:56,378 That's what democracy is all about: 172 00:05:56,445 --> 00:05:58,283 power is in the hands of the people. 173 00:05:58,416 --> 00:06:00,320 Kayleigh: So we don't have a king? 174 00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:01,423 Tyrannis: No, I'm still the king. 175 00:06:01,557 --> 00:06:02,592 You just get to choose me. 176 00:06:02,692 --> 00:06:04,061 Now, you've each been given 177 00:06:04,161 --> 00:06:05,296 one rock to vote with. 178 00:06:05,430 --> 00:06:06,600 Kayleigh: Is this in place of the baklava, 179 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:08,637 cuz I don't consider this edible. 180 00:06:08,704 --> 00:06:11,108 Tyrannis: I promise you the baklava is coming. 181 00:06:11,175 --> 00:06:12,411 Miriam: Believe it when I see it. 182 00:06:12,512 --> 00:06:14,549 Tyrannis: But your rock is your vote. 183 00:06:14,682 --> 00:06:16,553 So each of you can place your rock 184 00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:18,323 in this basket, representing me. 185 00:06:18,423 --> 00:06:20,193 And when the votes are cast, I, probably with 186 00:06:20,260 --> 00:06:23,432 the help of my sister, will raise this basket above my head 187 00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:25,303 and declare that the people have chosen. 188 00:06:25,436 --> 00:06:27,474 Miriam: What if I want to vote for someone else? 189 00:06:27,576 --> 00:06:29,011 Tyrannis: Huh? There isn't anyone else. 190 00:06:29,111 --> 00:06:31,048 Joshua: Can there be? Tyrannis: I mean, you'd 191 00:06:31,181 --> 00:06:32,217 have to get another basket, 192 00:06:32,317 --> 00:06:33,588 which seems like a hassle. 193 00:06:33,721 --> 00:06:35,591 I will be in my palace awaiting the results. 194 00:06:35,725 --> 00:06:37,562 Also, remember who brought the baklava. 195 00:06:37,629 --> 00:06:39,999 Hippocampus: Basket of rocks? That's gonna be your thing? 196 00:06:40,099 --> 00:06:41,469 Tyrannis: Better than marrying your mom! 197 00:06:41,603 --> 00:06:42,672 I mean, the bar for these mandates 198 00:06:42,739 --> 00:06:44,475 is quite low, I just need one. 199 00:06:44,576 --> 00:06:48,316 Shlub: Ah, nothing like a vat of wine to start your day. 200 00:06:48,416 --> 00:06:50,353 What's this? Brutus: The tavern's closed. 201 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,224 Shlub: I didn't even know it had a door! 202 00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:54,161 And why in god's name is there anything 203 00:06:54,227 --> 00:06:55,598 between me and intoxicants? 204 00:06:55,731 --> 00:06:57,067 Brutus: It's Tylection Day. 205 00:06:57,201 --> 00:06:58,336 He ordered all the bars closed 206 00:06:58,469 --> 00:06:59,606 so that everyone votes. 207 00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:01,008 Shlub: Well, I'll tell you one thing. 208 00:07:01,108 --> 00:07:03,547 If I were king, I'd never close the bars. 209 00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:08,490 Scott: King Ty, disaster! Your father is king! 210 00:07:08,591 --> 00:07:11,630 [People chanting "Shlub!"] 211 00:07:11,730 --> 00:07:14,234 Shlub: I'm sorry, son, they got me a basket! 212 00:07:18,878 --> 00:07:20,614 Tyrannis: Unbelievable! You really just said, 213 00:07:20,714 --> 00:07:21,950 "I wouldn't close the bars," and that's all it took? 214 00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:23,086 Shlub: Well, I suppose so. 215 00:07:23,186 --> 00:07:24,590 Scott: King Ty, I mean just Ty, 216 00:07:24,656 --> 00:07:26,459 or how should I address you? 217 00:07:26,527 --> 00:07:27,528 Tyrannis: As King Ty, please! 218 00:07:27,628 --> 00:07:29,031 No, as King Ty, not please! 219 00:07:29,131 --> 00:07:31,235 How dare you even ask me! Off with your head! 220 00:07:31,369 --> 00:07:32,872 Scott: Um, well, before that, 221 00:07:32,939 --> 00:07:35,645 we should probably get that crown off your head. 222 00:07:35,745 --> 00:07:38,116 I mean, I'm just guessing. There's never been 223 00:07:38,216 --> 00:07:39,619 a peaceful transfer of power. 224 00:07:39,686 --> 00:07:40,655 Let me just-- Tyrannis: Stop it! 225 00:07:40,788 --> 00:07:42,424 Get away from me! Stop it! 226 00:07:42,491 --> 00:07:45,931 What are you doing?! Scott: Uh, and I guess there never will be. 227 00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:47,434 Tyrannis: We're not actually honoring 228 00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,804 this Tylection, are we? Dad? 229 00:07:48,904 --> 00:07:50,908 You wouldn't seriously take the crown from me? 230 00:07:51,041 --> 00:07:53,514 Shlub: Son, I love you, but the people chose me. 231 00:07:53,614 --> 00:07:54,983 I can't just say no. 232 00:07:55,116 --> 00:07:56,251 Tyrannis: Yes, you can! 233 00:07:56,385 --> 00:07:57,655 Shlub: To the greatest mandate of all? 234 00:07:57,755 --> 00:07:59,424 Tyrannis: That was just something I said! 235 00:07:59,525 --> 00:08:01,362 Stupe? Hippo? Stupendous: I don't know. 236 00:08:01,429 --> 00:08:02,665 Something about Dad being king 237 00:08:02,765 --> 00:08:04,301 kind of makes sense to me. Tyrannis: What?! 238 00:08:04,402 --> 00:08:06,573 Stupendous: Maybe it's the chest hair? 239 00:08:06,673 --> 00:08:08,075 Yeah, it's the chest hair. 240 00:08:08,209 --> 00:08:09,679 Tyrannis: You know he and Mom will be making out 241 00:08:09,813 --> 00:08:11,282 in front of us even more, right? 242 00:08:11,382 --> 00:08:12,317 It's not like it's gonna have 243 00:08:12,417 --> 00:08:13,788 an inhibiting effect on him! 244 00:08:13,854 --> 00:08:15,524 Hippocampus: Eh, I barely notice anymore. 245 00:08:15,591 --> 00:08:16,994 Stupendous: Yeah, I tune it out. 246 00:08:17,094 --> 00:08:18,564 Tyrannis: Mom, you're not letting this happen, right? 247 00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:19,832 Deliria: I don't know, I'm thinking. 248 00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,237 There may be certain advantages. 249 00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:23,808 Tyrannis: You know this would make you a queen, right? 250 00:08:23,941 --> 00:08:25,711 That's well beneath being a goddess. 251 00:08:25,811 --> 00:08:27,248 Deliria: Is it? There's never been 252 00:08:27,314 --> 00:08:28,550 a goddess queen before. 253 00:08:28,684 --> 00:08:31,690 Which means I get to decide what it means. 254 00:08:31,823 --> 00:08:34,094 Tyrannis: Dad, you'll hate this. You will hate it! 255 00:08:34,194 --> 00:08:35,965 Shlub: I've known plenty of kings and they've had 256 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,436 plenty of sex, so I doubt I would hate it. 257 00:08:38,570 --> 00:08:39,706 Tyrannis: Not the sex, the kinging. 258 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,475 You have to make decisions and run things. 259 00:08:41,576 --> 00:08:43,179 Scott, what's on the docket for today? 260 00:08:43,312 --> 00:08:44,682 For my father the king? 261 00:08:44,749 --> 00:08:46,720 Scott: Uh, well, there's a property dispute between 262 00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:48,590 Ned the Shepherd and Cora the Farmer. 263 00:08:48,724 --> 00:08:49,960 Shlub: Let's give it to Cora. 264 00:08:50,027 --> 00:08:51,461 Tyrannis: You're not even going to ponder it? 265 00:08:51,596 --> 00:08:52,899 Shlub: Son, I've known plenty of kings 266 00:08:52,999 --> 00:08:55,436 and you're the only one I've ever seen pondering. 267 00:08:55,571 --> 00:08:57,307 Come to think of it, you're the only one who 268 00:08:57,407 --> 00:08:58,544 didn't have sex, either. 269 00:08:58,611 --> 00:08:59,946 You may have been a bad king. 270 00:09:00,013 --> 00:09:01,583 Tyrannis: I cannot believe this! 271 00:09:01,683 --> 00:09:03,854 You will regret this. You will all regret this! 272 00:09:03,987 --> 00:09:05,958 Stupendous: This was basically his whole identity. 273 00:09:06,024 --> 00:09:07,494 Hippocampus: It's a kind of situation where a person 274 00:09:07,595 --> 00:09:08,597 could really lose it. 275 00:09:08,697 --> 00:09:09,832 Stupendous: Seen it before. 276 00:09:09,899 --> 00:09:11,569 Take away the one thing a guy has, 277 00:09:11,636 --> 00:09:13,339 and, uh... 278 00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:15,745 Hippocampus: You want to go check on him? 279 00:09:15,878 --> 00:09:17,080 Stupendous: Yeah, I was just gonna say, 280 00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:18,082 let's just--you know. 281 00:09:18,215 --> 00:09:20,587 [Shlub and Deliria kissing] 282 00:09:21,756 --> 00:09:24,161 Shlub: I apologize for the misunderstanding earlier, Scott, 283 00:09:24,294 --> 00:09:26,933 but when I heard that, as king, I get a Chief of Staff, 284 00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,839 I assumed that "staff" was a euphemism for-- 285 00:09:29,906 --> 00:09:32,477 Scott: I'm glad we got that cleared up. 286 00:09:32,612 --> 00:09:35,618 Athena: Yoohoo again. What a banger you missed. 287 00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:37,154 Shlub: What a banger she didn't miss. 288 00:09:37,254 --> 00:09:39,626 Athena: What's this I hear about Scrub being king 289 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:41,930 and you being...queen? Among mortals? 290 00:09:42,031 --> 00:09:45,169 Deliria: Yes, we're the new royal couple here in Krapopolis. 291 00:09:45,303 --> 00:09:48,042 If you ask nicely, you might be invited to the coronation. 292 00:09:48,175 --> 00:09:49,646 Shlub: We're having a coronation? 293 00:09:49,746 --> 00:09:50,781 Deliria: Yes, didn't I tell you? 294 00:09:50,915 --> 00:09:52,317 This is going to be quite an event. 295 00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:55,356 It's the first time a goddess has ever been queen. 296 00:09:55,423 --> 00:09:57,294 It is going to be a huge party. 297 00:09:57,361 --> 00:10:00,099 Athena: A little coronation? A little king and queen party? 298 00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:02,070 How cute. Gonna have some people there? 299 00:10:02,203 --> 00:10:03,640 Some mortals? Gonna have a little chair? 300 00:10:03,773 --> 00:10:06,045 A little king chair and a little queen chair? 301 00:10:06,178 --> 00:10:08,382 Some dignitaries or whatever they're called? 302 00:10:08,517 --> 00:10:10,053 Human dignitaries? 303 00:10:10,187 --> 00:10:12,691 Deliria: Not many dignitaries, although 304 00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:14,896 Zeus said he'd make it. Athena: What? 305 00:10:14,963 --> 00:10:16,900 Deliria: He said he wouldn't miss it for the world. 306 00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:19,204 Athena: Zeus is coming to your coronation? 307 00:10:19,338 --> 00:10:20,941 Deliria: Yup. Athena: What does that mean? 308 00:10:21,075 --> 00:10:22,545 Are kings and queens important? 309 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:24,048 Are you above me now? This can't be right. 310 00:10:24,115 --> 00:10:25,584 Deliria: Oh, I wouldn't read too much into it. 311 00:10:25,684 --> 00:10:27,688 Just a coronation. With Zeus. 312 00:10:27,822 --> 00:10:29,559 He wasn't at the ball last night, was he? 313 00:10:29,692 --> 00:10:30,861 Athena: No one's seen Zeus in years. 314 00:10:30,961 --> 00:10:32,598 And he's coming here? You're sure? 315 00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,401 Deliria: Mhm. Told me himself. 316 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,671 Athena: Well, I...I just... 317 00:10:35,771 --> 00:10:37,775 I'm better than you. Goodbye. 318 00:10:37,842 --> 00:10:39,946 Shlub: Zeus? You didn't talk to him, did you? 319 00:10:40,046 --> 00:10:41,415 Deliria: No, of course not. 320 00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:42,685 Shlub: Last time you saw Zeus, 321 00:10:42,819 --> 00:10:44,689 hadn't he turned himself into some sort of 322 00:10:44,790 --> 00:10:46,960 ouroboros pleasure-loop, locked forever 323 00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:48,697 in a state beyond consciousness? 324 00:10:48,830 --> 00:10:50,701 Deliria: Yes, he's achieved his ultimate form 325 00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:52,572 and is effectively "off the board"-- 326 00:10:52,705 --> 00:10:53,974 but they don't know that. 327 00:10:54,074 --> 00:10:55,711 All they know is a goddess queen 328 00:10:55,811 --> 00:10:59,318 is better than a goddess... at least in Zeus' eyes. 329 00:10:59,418 --> 00:11:00,855 [Giggles] Shlub: Ingenious! 330 00:11:00,955 --> 00:11:02,592 You completely flummoxed her. 331 00:11:02,725 --> 00:11:04,696 Deliria: Oh, if she does what I expect her to do, 332 00:11:04,762 --> 00:11:06,766 I've flummoxed all of them. 333 00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:09,238 Apollo: Deliria! Blub! I hear there's a coronation. 334 00:11:09,371 --> 00:11:12,845 I've come to offer my sincere congratulations 335 00:11:12,945 --> 00:11:14,448 to the king and queen. 336 00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,553 Or, to demand loyalty 337 00:11:16,619 --> 00:11:17,888 from the new king and queen! 338 00:11:17,988 --> 00:11:21,596 I...I...I'm-I'm flummoxed. I'll be back. 339 00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:25,102 Deliria: Hmm, I think I like being queen. 340 00:11:29,211 --> 00:11:30,581 Hippocampus: Hey, bro. 341 00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,050 Still drinking? That's fun. 342 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:34,387 Tyrannis: Go ahead and mock me. I have nothing. 343 00:11:34,454 --> 00:11:36,894 Stupendous: Is it time for me to say you've got family? 344 00:11:36,994 --> 00:11:38,630 Tyrannis: Sure. Stupendous: OK, you've got 345 00:11:38,763 --> 00:11:40,300 a family who loves you. 346 00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,170 And the timing of this next thing I'm gonna say is 347 00:11:42,270 --> 00:11:44,140 horrible, but we do have to take that crown off. 348 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,378 We need it for the coronation. Tyrannis: Coronation? 349 00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:48,382 They're rubbing it in my face? What about family? 350 00:11:48,449 --> 00:11:50,621 Hippocampus: Ty, we're right here and we love you. 351 00:11:50,755 --> 00:11:52,157 And you're gonna love not being king. 352 00:11:52,291 --> 00:11:54,629 You're gonna find that the crown was a burden. 353 00:11:54,762 --> 00:11:57,300 So Stupe's gonna take it off now, OK? 354 00:11:57,401 --> 00:11:59,071 Hippocampus: Shh-sh-sh-sh... Stupendous: You're doing great. 355 00:11:59,171 --> 00:12:01,275 Just a little bit more. Hippocampus: You got this. 356 00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:04,147 Stupendous: Easy...got it. 357 00:12:05,016 --> 00:12:06,519 Tyrannis: I know it's really just what the crown 358 00:12:06,620 --> 00:12:08,624 represents, not the crown itself, but 359 00:12:08,691 --> 00:12:10,528 I feel naked without that thing. 360 00:12:10,661 --> 00:12:12,163 Stupendous: No, whaaat? 361 00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:15,170 You--actually do look kinda weird without it. 362 00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:16,906 Hippocampus: Stupe! Stupendous: He does! 363 00:12:17,006 --> 00:12:18,777 It's not gonna make him feel better to lie about it. 364 00:12:18,877 --> 00:12:21,482 Hippocampus: No, but it just-- we're used to 365 00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:23,019 the way we usually see you! 366 00:12:23,085 --> 00:12:25,792 I mean, it's not like you are the crown. 367 00:12:25,925 --> 00:12:27,929 Tyrannis: Oh, my god, what if I am the crown? 368 00:12:28,062 --> 00:12:30,166 Stupendous: You might not be anything without the crown. 369 00:12:30,233 --> 00:12:32,572 Hippocampus: Stupe! Stupendous: Except 370 00:12:32,672 --> 00:12:34,575 that you're so much more! 371 00:12:34,675 --> 00:12:36,980 You don't look weird! 372 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,017 Hippocampus: Here, we-we can fix this. 373 00:12:39,117 --> 00:12:40,555 Look. See? 374 00:12:40,655 --> 00:12:42,825 I think it looks even better. 375 00:12:42,958 --> 00:12:46,298 Kayleigh: Hello, King Ty, I mean, citizen Ty. 376 00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:47,568 Is that a headband? 377 00:12:47,702 --> 00:12:49,238 Tyrannis: Go ahead and make fun of it. 378 00:12:49,304 --> 00:12:50,440 Kayleigh: No, I like it. 379 00:12:50,541 --> 00:12:52,443 You could be like a...an athlete. 380 00:12:52,511 --> 00:12:54,582 Tyrannis: Or just a guy with a terrible head wound. 381 00:12:54,682 --> 00:12:56,819 Kayleigh: Ha! Oh, that's funny. 382 00:12:56,953 --> 00:12:59,826 Ha! Citizen Ty, you're funny. 383 00:12:59,959 --> 00:13:02,565 Tyrannis: Wait, that wasn't mean or slyly disrespectful. 384 00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:04,100 What's happening? Kayleigh: I dunno. 385 00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:06,873 You just seem less... what's the word? 386 00:13:06,974 --> 00:13:08,577 Joshua: Annoying! Kayleigh: That's it. 387 00:13:08,711 --> 00:13:10,247 Shelly: He does seem less annoying! 388 00:13:10,347 --> 00:13:11,683 Brutus: Are you doing something different? 389 00:13:11,750 --> 00:13:12,852 Are you being more relatable? 390 00:13:12,952 --> 00:13:14,087 Tyrannis: Not that I'm aware of. 391 00:13:14,154 --> 00:13:16,258 I mean, I'm just a disgraced former king? 392 00:13:16,392 --> 00:13:19,297 Joshua: Thaaaat's what it is: former! 393 00:13:19,397 --> 00:13:21,603 Tyrannis: So the "disgraced" part doesn't 394 00:13:21,703 --> 00:13:22,705 tip the scale either way. 395 00:13:22,838 --> 00:13:24,976 [Bar crowd laughs] [Tyrannis laughs] 396 00:13:25,109 --> 00:13:26,279 Hippocampus: See what's happening? 397 00:13:26,345 --> 00:13:27,147 Tyrannis: They like me. 398 00:13:27,247 --> 00:13:28,683 Hippocampus: Of course they do! 399 00:13:28,750 --> 00:13:29,819 Tyrannis: I'm a man of the people again. 400 00:13:29,885 --> 00:13:31,254 Stupendous: Therrrre you go. 401 00:13:31,354 --> 00:13:33,359 Tyrannis: Which means I can get that crown back now! 402 00:13:33,426 --> 00:13:35,898 Stupendous: Wherrree ya headed now, though? 403 00:13:35,998 --> 00:13:37,266 Tyrannis: I was right about the will of the people 404 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,138 but wrong about the way to secure it! 405 00:13:39,238 --> 00:13:40,875 Stupendous: I think you might be picking up 406 00:13:41,008 --> 00:13:42,411 on the wrong lesson here. 407 00:13:42,545 --> 00:13:44,348 Hippocampus: Yeah, come on, Ty, what are you gonna do, 408 00:13:44,481 --> 00:13:45,350 just have another vote? 409 00:13:45,483 --> 00:13:46,753 And another? And another? 410 00:13:46,886 --> 00:13:47,888 Let it go. 411 00:13:48,021 --> 00:13:48,991 Tyrannis: No, these people clearly 412 00:13:49,057 --> 00:13:49,993 aren't ready for democracy. 413 00:13:50,059 --> 00:13:51,028 What they'll respond to 414 00:13:51,161 --> 00:13:52,464 is an old-school mandate. 415 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,502 Stupendous: No, Ty! Tyrannis: I was thinking 416 00:13:54,602 --> 00:13:55,604 about this all wrong. 417 00:13:55,704 --> 00:13:57,106 I mean, Theseus, Oedipus. 418 00:13:57,173 --> 00:13:59,011 They all did huge kingly gestures. 419 00:13:59,144 --> 00:14:01,014 Stupendous: What are you thinking of doing, Ty? 420 00:14:01,148 --> 00:14:02,885 Tyrannis: I don't know yet, but these people like me. 421 00:14:03,019 --> 00:14:04,388 I've got momentum now. And by the time that 422 00:14:04,455 --> 00:14:07,194 coronation is over, I'll have my mandate! 423 00:14:07,294 --> 00:14:09,632 Hippocampus: Wait. Theseus' "huge kingly gesture" 424 00:14:09,732 --> 00:14:10,901 was killing a monster. 425 00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:12,772 Stupendous: And Oedipus' was killing a dad! 426 00:14:12,905 --> 00:14:14,074 Hippocampus and Stupendous: Shlub is both! 427 00:14:14,174 --> 00:14:15,977 Stupendous: Ty, wait! 428 00:14:20,086 --> 00:14:21,388 Deliria: No, no, no, 429 00:14:21,522 --> 00:14:22,658 I wanted it like this. 430 00:14:22,758 --> 00:14:24,260 Do you see? 431 00:14:24,394 --> 00:14:25,831 Now do it again. 432 00:14:25,931 --> 00:14:27,200 Apollo: Deliria! Shrub! 433 00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,773 I cannot wait for this coronation. 434 00:14:29,873 --> 00:14:31,810 Deliria: Apollo, always lovely to see you, 435 00:14:31,910 --> 00:14:34,181 but I'm afraid the guest list is full. 436 00:14:34,315 --> 00:14:37,186 Apollo: Full? You can't do this to me! 437 00:14:37,286 --> 00:14:39,191 Please don't do this to me! 438 00:14:39,324 --> 00:14:40,794 Aphrodite: I don't even know if coronations are 439 00:14:40,927 --> 00:14:41,829 above us or beneath us, 440 00:14:41,929 --> 00:14:43,667 but I demand to be included. 441 00:14:43,801 --> 00:14:45,537 Apollo: Yeah! I tried anger already! 442 00:14:45,637 --> 00:14:47,440 Hermes: Yoohoo, hi, bestie. 443 00:14:47,508 --> 00:14:50,312 I know you plucked my eye out but I found it hilarious! 444 00:14:50,379 --> 00:14:51,849 Athena: Hi, slut! Aphrodite: Crap. 445 00:14:51,949 --> 00:14:53,954 She's going for sex-positive nicknames. 446 00:14:54,054 --> 00:14:55,992 Hi, slut. I think you're a slut, too. 447 00:14:56,092 --> 00:14:57,828 Athena: Did you say Zeus was gonna be around? 448 00:14:57,961 --> 00:14:59,566 I'd love to say hi. Haven't seen him in a bit. 449 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:02,003 Deliria: Oh, no, just missed him. 450 00:15:02,103 --> 00:15:04,073 I say this as a friend. He actually asked 451 00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:05,376 if you were coming, and then he said, 452 00:15:05,476 --> 00:15:07,113 "I just can't deal with her right now." 453 00:15:07,213 --> 00:15:08,550 Athena: No! Apollo: Do you see 454 00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:09,552 what you did, Athena? 455 00:15:09,685 --> 00:15:11,421 You scared Daddy away! 456 00:15:12,456 --> 00:15:14,996 Shlub: Perfectly played. Shall we get into position? 457 00:15:15,096 --> 00:15:16,966 Deliria: What position did you have in mind? 458 00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:18,335 Oh, you mean for the coronation. 459 00:15:18,402 --> 00:15:19,806 Shlub: Yes. Deliria: It's just that 460 00:15:19,873 --> 00:15:21,374 you often do double entendres. 461 00:15:21,475 --> 00:15:23,378 Shlub: What are those? They sound sexy. 462 00:15:23,479 --> 00:15:25,517 Stupendous: I looked everywhere. No Ty! 463 00:15:25,617 --> 00:15:28,356 Hippocampus: I got nothing. Wait! There! 464 00:15:28,456 --> 00:15:30,594 Stupendous: Ty! 465 00:15:30,727 --> 00:15:32,263 Kayleigh: What the hell? 466 00:15:32,363 --> 00:15:34,133 Stupendous: Sorry, Kayleigh, you look like Ty. 467 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:37,942 Kayleigh: Oh, thank you! It's a cool look. 468 00:15:38,008 --> 00:15:39,679 He made it cool, didn't he? 469 00:15:39,746 --> 00:15:41,181 Joshua: We talking headbands? 470 00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:45,824 Hippocampus: Dammit, this is gonna be impossible. 471 00:15:45,891 --> 00:15:47,594 [Fanfare playing] 472 00:15:47,728 --> 00:15:50,065 [Crowd cheers] 473 00:15:53,238 --> 00:15:55,310 Priest: Citizens of Krapopolis! 474 00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:59,284 King Shlub and Queen Deliria-- Deliria: Goddess Queen. 475 00:15:59,384 --> 00:16:01,454 Priest: Yes, Goddess Queen Deliria, 476 00:16:01,556 --> 00:16:05,296 have written their own coronation vows. 477 00:16:05,396 --> 00:16:07,167 Shlub: Good people of Krapopolis. 478 00:16:07,267 --> 00:16:09,438 You have chosen me as your king. 479 00:16:09,539 --> 00:16:11,542 Deliria: And me as your goddess queen. 480 00:16:11,676 --> 00:16:14,014 Athena: Do you think that gives her new powers? 481 00:16:14,147 --> 00:16:16,251 Shlub: Good citizens, we promise not to 482 00:16:16,318 --> 00:16:19,758 work too hard, because mental health is very important. 483 00:16:19,859 --> 00:16:22,030 We promise to stay true to ourselves, 484 00:16:22,164 --> 00:16:24,034 which is mostly drunk and horned up. 485 00:16:24,134 --> 00:16:27,173 And we promise very little else, other than food, 486 00:16:27,273 --> 00:16:29,779 orgasms, and all the infrastructure 487 00:16:29,912 --> 00:16:33,318 and things like that. [Crowd cheers] 488 00:16:33,452 --> 00:16:35,456 Stupendous: Ty's still out there somewhere. 489 00:16:35,591 --> 00:16:37,193 Hippocampus: He's not really gonna kill Dad. 490 00:16:37,326 --> 00:16:39,030 Stupendous: Oh, I know he's not. Cuz if it comes to it, 491 00:16:39,097 --> 00:16:40,199 I'll kill him first. 492 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:43,338 Priest: And now, the ceremonial items. 493 00:16:43,439 --> 00:16:47,080 The royal robe. The golden scepter. 494 00:16:47,180 --> 00:16:49,451 The other golden scepter. 495 00:16:49,552 --> 00:16:51,355 Hippocampus: He gets two scepters? 496 00:16:51,455 --> 00:16:53,058 Stupendous: One's just ceremonial. 497 00:16:53,192 --> 00:16:54,929 Hippocampus: What's the other one for? 498 00:16:55,063 --> 00:16:56,465 Stupendous: I guess they're both ceremonial. 499 00:16:56,566 --> 00:17:00,072 Priest: And now the crown! Tyrannis: Halt! 500 00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:02,812 That crown is rightfully mine! 501 00:17:02,945 --> 00:17:06,552 Stupendous: Nooooooooo! 502 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,898 Tyrannis: Let the record show that the audacious Tyrannis 503 00:17:12,998 --> 00:17:16,338 valiantly swooped in and stole the crown from his own father. 504 00:17:16,471 --> 00:17:19,210 Joshua: Wait, you weren't trying to kill him just then? 505 00:17:19,310 --> 00:17:20,948 Tyrannis: No, I was stealing the crown. 506 00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,952 From my own father! And by doing this 507 00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:25,489 huge noteworthy stunt, I have my mandate! 508 00:17:25,624 --> 00:17:27,561 Kayleigh: Do you, though? Tyrannis: Yes! 509 00:17:27,694 --> 00:17:28,997 I'm your rightful king! 510 00:17:29,097 --> 00:17:30,968 Kayleigh: You would be if you had killed him. 511 00:17:31,068 --> 00:17:32,070 [Stupendous grunting "No"] 512 00:17:32,137 --> 00:17:33,139 Joshua: Yeah, slit his throat! 513 00:17:33,239 --> 00:17:34,609 That's one way you could do it. 514 00:17:34,709 --> 00:17:35,844 [Stupendous grunting "No"] 515 00:17:35,978 --> 00:17:37,380 Joshua: All right! You go, girl! 516 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:39,251 Tyrannis: How about the fact that I started this city?! 517 00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:40,987 The fact that I came up with the whole idea. 518 00:17:41,121 --> 00:17:42,792 I shouldn't have even needed to string a zipline 519 00:17:42,925 --> 00:17:45,262 and make Scott practice it with me for most of the night. 520 00:17:45,363 --> 00:17:48,136 You should have voted for me because I gave you everything! 521 00:17:48,236 --> 00:17:50,707 Kayleigh: Yeah, but he kept the bars open. 522 00:17:50,841 --> 00:17:52,077 Tyrannis: Too bad. I'm your king! 523 00:17:52,143 --> 00:17:53,714 Joshua: Nah, we don't acknowledge that. 524 00:17:53,847 --> 00:17:55,283 Tyrannis: You will! Scott! 525 00:17:55,383 --> 00:17:59,391 Scott: I guess I...probably... need to go with him? 526 00:17:59,491 --> 00:18:00,861 Tyrannis: "We don't acknowledge that." 527 00:18:00,961 --> 00:18:01,896 What the hell is wrong with them? 528 00:18:01,997 --> 00:18:03,365 I stole the crown. 529 00:18:03,432 --> 00:18:04,635 Scott: Maybe they're just not 530 00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:05,871 ready for your greatness. 531 00:18:05,971 --> 00:18:07,140 Tyrannis: Thank god you see it. 532 00:18:07,274 --> 00:18:08,275 Thank you for coming with me, Scott. 533 00:18:08,375 --> 00:18:09,310 Scott: Happy to follow you. 534 00:18:09,410 --> 00:18:10,747 Especially because your mom 535 00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:12,117 planned the coronation to end in 536 00:18:12,183 --> 00:18:13,720 a fight to the death between 537 00:18:13,787 --> 00:18:15,256 me and an ostrich. 538 00:18:15,322 --> 00:18:16,559 Tyrannis: Oh, that would have been cool. 539 00:18:16,692 --> 00:18:18,162 But no matter. I've got the crown. 540 00:18:18,262 --> 00:18:20,333 And the legends are going to start building. 541 00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,871 These things always take a bit to build. 542 00:18:24,107 --> 00:18:26,011 You know what? I don't have time to wait for that. 543 00:18:26,144 --> 00:18:27,748 We build a fire. A massive fire, 544 00:18:27,848 --> 00:18:29,284 as hot as a volcano. Then I, 545 00:18:29,417 --> 00:18:31,288 wearing some sort of protective suit, 546 00:18:31,388 --> 00:18:32,891 emerge from the fire unscathed. 547 00:18:33,025 --> 00:18:34,261 We'll have to figure that part out. 548 00:18:34,328 --> 00:18:36,666 Scott: That's a rock solid plan! 549 00:18:36,766 --> 00:18:37,768 Tyrannis: Of course it is! 550 00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:39,170 Child #1: I wanna be king! 551 00:18:39,304 --> 00:18:40,641 Child #2: No, I wanna be king! 552 00:18:40,774 --> 00:18:41,776 Child #1: You can't be king. 553 00:18:41,910 --> 00:18:43,179 I'm bigger than you! 554 00:18:43,312 --> 00:18:44,414 Child #2: Anyone can be king 555 00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:46,085 if the people vote for them! 556 00:18:46,185 --> 00:18:48,021 Child #1: Then violence is wrong. 557 00:18:48,088 --> 00:18:49,925 I lay down my sword. 558 00:18:50,026 --> 00:18:51,362 Tyrannis: You there. What's your name? 559 00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:53,199 Child #1: The Future. Tyrannis: I'm sorry, what? 560 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,737 Child #1: My name is The Future, and his name 561 00:18:55,804 --> 00:18:57,274 is The Wisdom of Children. 562 00:18:57,340 --> 00:18:58,576 Tyrannis: Are you kidding me right now? 563 00:18:58,676 --> 00:19:00,179 Child #2: Our parents are in a cult. 564 00:19:00,312 --> 00:19:01,414 Tyrannis: Well, your names are perfect because 565 00:19:01,481 --> 00:19:03,052 you just showed me exactly 566 00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:04,321 what I needed to see. 567 00:19:04,421 --> 00:19:06,024 Scott, forget the fire stunt. 568 00:19:06,091 --> 00:19:08,095 Scott: Yeah, it was a tall order. 569 00:19:08,195 --> 00:19:09,798 Tyrannis: My legacy is guaranteed. 570 00:19:09,932 --> 00:19:11,101 I'm the guy who gave people hope. 571 00:19:11,201 --> 00:19:12,738 And everyone will remember me for that. 572 00:19:12,871 --> 00:19:15,343 You'll all remember me, right? What's my name? 573 00:19:15,443 --> 00:19:19,217 Child #1: I wanna say, Marb? Tyrannis: It's Tyrannis. 574 00:19:19,351 --> 00:19:21,255 And I know what I have to do. 575 00:19:21,355 --> 00:19:23,359 Child #1: Cut it out, Eugenics! 576 00:19:23,492 --> 00:19:26,131 Tyrannis: And with that, I relinquish my throne. 577 00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:27,668 And to my father, the rightful, 578 00:19:27,768 --> 00:19:30,507 popularly selected king, I return the crown. 579 00:19:30,607 --> 00:19:32,945 Shlub: Thanks, but that's not necessary. 580 00:19:33,078 --> 00:19:34,380 Tyrannis: No, Dad, I insist. 581 00:19:34,480 --> 00:19:36,384 Deliria: It's not necessary because I've already had 582 00:19:36,484 --> 00:19:38,355 another, better crown made. 583 00:19:38,489 --> 00:19:41,361 Did you really think I'd let your father have one so dinky? 584 00:19:41,461 --> 00:19:42,964 Tyrannis: I don't know if it's dinky. 585 00:19:43,065 --> 00:19:44,234 Deliria: Do you want to do the honors? 586 00:19:44,367 --> 00:19:45,971 Tyrannis: Uhh. Whoa, that's heavy. 587 00:19:46,105 --> 00:19:48,008 Deliria: Yes, it's pure gold. 588 00:19:48,108 --> 00:19:49,477 [Crowd cheers] 589 00:19:49,545 --> 00:19:51,983 Tyrannis: Mine had a little gold in it, too, I think. 590 00:19:52,083 --> 00:19:53,252 Before it scraped off. 591 00:19:53,385 --> 00:19:55,390 Stupendous: You need a calming belly rub, bro? 592 00:19:55,524 --> 00:19:57,426 Tyrannis: Yes, please, if you wouldn't mind. 593 00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:02,805 [Crowd cheers] 594 00:20:02,905 --> 00:20:06,111 Apollo: Some of us don't even think Zeus was here. 595 00:20:06,244 --> 00:20:07,113 Deliria: Oh? 596 00:20:07,246 --> 00:20:08,583 Apollo: But the rest of us 597 00:20:08,717 --> 00:20:10,252 are on the fence? 598 00:20:10,352 --> 00:20:12,692 Athena: Just know this, Deliria. We're watching you. 599 00:20:12,792 --> 00:20:14,795 Deliria: Good. Glad to have your full attention. 600 00:20:14,895 --> 00:20:16,532 Hippocampus: You know what, bro? For what it's worth, 601 00:20:16,666 --> 00:20:18,235 you did finally create something 602 00:20:18,302 --> 00:20:20,406 for this city that actually worked. 603 00:20:20,541 --> 00:20:22,176 As an inventor, I'm impressed. 604 00:20:22,276 --> 00:20:23,880 Tyrannis: Thanks. I may not know 605 00:20:23,980 --> 00:20:25,016 who I am if I'm not king, 606 00:20:25,149 --> 00:20:26,285 but it means a great deal 607 00:20:26,385 --> 00:20:27,688 to have my family by my side. 608 00:20:27,788 --> 00:20:29,324 Stupendous: Yeah. Sorry we almost killed you 609 00:20:29,424 --> 00:20:31,027 because we thought you were gonna kill Dad. 610 00:20:31,161 --> 00:20:32,631 Tyrannis: You--what was it now? 611 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:38,543 Hippocampus: I'll stop it before it hurts you. 612 00:20:38,677 --> 00:20:40,881 Just doing some tests on fear. 613 00:20:40,981 --> 00:20:43,152 Are you scared? 614 00:20:43,252 --> 00:20:44,789 Stupendous: Torturing squirrels again, bro? 615 00:20:44,856 --> 00:20:47,026 Hippocampus: It's not torture if you have a control group! 616 00:20:47,159 --> 00:20:48,295 [Whispers] You're next. 617 00:20:48,428 --> 00:20:49,765 Stupendous: You know, I feel like 618 00:20:49,898 --> 00:20:51,201 I get you a lot better now. 619 00:20:51,301 --> 00:20:52,571 Hippocampus: Oh, yeah? How's that? 620 00:20:52,705 --> 00:20:54,040 Stupendous: 'Cause I've been spending 621 00:20:54,174 --> 00:20:55,711 a lot of time with this little guy. 622 00:20:55,844 --> 00:20:57,714 Hippocampus: Hippo 2?! Stupendous: Yeah. He's really 623 00:20:57,848 --> 00:20:59,451 helped me understand your whole thing. 624 00:20:59,552 --> 00:21:01,154 Hippocampus: Oh, has he? Stupendous: Yeah. 625 00:21:01,221 --> 00:21:03,225 You two are so much alike. 626 00:21:03,326 --> 00:21:05,664 [Hippo 2 coughing] 627 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,870 Hippocampus: Uh-huh. I thought I destroyed that thing. 628 00:21:08,970 --> 00:21:10,339 Stupendous: They're really tough to kill. 629 00:21:10,439 --> 00:21:11,575 Hippocampus: Wait a minute. They? 630 00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:12,811 Stupendous: Yeah, they've been 631 00:21:12,911 --> 00:21:14,046 making more of each other. 632 00:21:14,180 --> 00:21:15,316 Hippocampus: They've been doing what?! 633 00:21:15,416 --> 00:21:17,721 [Squirrel squeaking] 634 00:21:17,855 --> 00:21:19,692 Hippocampus: Oops. [Squirrel squeaking] 635 00:21:19,758 --> 00:21:23,331 Hippocampus: Ugh. One to 10. How scared do you feel? 636 00:21:23,432 --> 00:21:26,104 [Hippo 2 grunting] 637 00:21:26,204 --> 00:21:27,207 [Stupendous chuckles] 638 00:21:27,340 --> 00:21:30,346 Two fishpeas in a bowlpod. 639 00:21:30,446 --> 00:21:32,082 Dan Harmon: Did you get any of that? 640 00:21:34,688 --> 00:21:35,590 Voice: Bento. 49281

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