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1
00:00:03,220 --> 00:00:07,007
[Joy]
Hot in Clevelandis recorded in
front of a live studio audience.
2
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:10,358
One month from today,
I'’m getting married in Paris.
3
00:00:10,401 --> 00:00:12,621
Why are you telling us things
we already know?
4
00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:14,710
Because I love saying it
so much.
5
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:16,973
And it distracts me from
my little procedure today.
6
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,281
Joy'’s getting
her sixth toe removed.
7
00:00:20,324 --> 00:00:21,978
It'’s not a toe.
8
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,111
It'’s a small nub of cartilage
with a half-nail.
9
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:29,768
I'’m gonna miss Joy's
stumpy little claw.
10
00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:32,206
It helped me lose weight
for the Oscars.
11
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,991
Oh, just thinking about it
killed my appetite.
12
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,080
Well, say good-bye.
13
00:00:37,124 --> 00:00:38,690
I need my feet to look perfect
14
00:00:38,734 --> 00:00:40,562
for my dress fitting
this Friday.
15
00:00:40,605 --> 00:00:42,042
Now, hand me that nail polish.
16
00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,608
Just because
it'’s being chopped off
17
00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:44,783
doesn'’t mean it can't be pretty.
18
00:00:47,438 --> 00:00:49,049
Oh, I'’m so happy
for Joy and Bob.
19
00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:51,355
I just can'’t stand the idea
of her moving out.
20
00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:52,791
It'’s funny.
21
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:57,013
I spent five years
wishing Joy would be gone.
22
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,754
And now you'’re sad?
23
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:02,671
No, I'’m just telling
what I'’ve been doing.
24
00:01:02,714 --> 00:01:03,976
Well, I'’m sad she's going.
25
00:01:04,019 --> 00:01:06,153
I am gonna miss her like crazy.
26
00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:08,894
Me too.
27
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:11,375
This house is gonna seem
so empty without her.
28
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:12,376
I know.
29
00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:14,030
Victoria, we can'’t do this.
30
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,336
I mean, come on.
31
00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:17,207
I mean, when my daughter
went off to college,
32
00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:20,254
I was so sad, I made everybody
ten times more miserable.
33
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:22,646
We have got to show Joy that
we'’re gonna be okay without her.
34
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:23,779
Brave faces from everybody.
35
00:01:23,822 --> 00:01:25,128
Yeah, you'’re right.
36
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,347
We just need to tamp down
our feelings,
37
00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,349
and it'’ll be good for us too.
38
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:30,351
No, I don'’t like dwelling
on sad things.
39
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:33,396
That'’s why I got divorced
so many times.
40
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:34,658
Hey, you.
41
00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,226
You ready to go
to the doctor'’s office?
42
00:01:36,270 --> 00:01:38,140
No, I want to wait until
my mother gets here.
43
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:41,449
And fair warning; she'’s
gonna be even meaner than usual.
44
00:01:41,491 --> 00:01:43,364
Her boyfriend Daniel
just broke up with her.
45
00:01:43,407 --> 00:01:45,931
So you sent Bob to the airport
to deal with her?
46
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,933
Well, it was either him or me,
and I didn'’t want to do it.
47
00:01:50,632 --> 00:01:52,634
Hello, everyone.
48
00:01:52,676 --> 00:01:54,157
- Hi, Mom.
- Hello.
49
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,942
Joy, I was telling Philipa
I'’m not just gaining a wife,
50
00:01:56,985 --> 00:01:58,988
but a beautiful mother-in-law
as well.
51
00:01:59,031 --> 00:02:00,642
Oh, you.
52
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,165
Well, Rejoyla,
53
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:05,690
your future husband
is not what I was expecting.
54
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,476
He'’s not drunk or in prison.
55
00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:10,651
Philipa, why don'’t I take
your bags to your room
56
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:11,653
so you can freshen up?
57
00:02:11,696 --> 00:02:13,742
Oh, what a gentleman.
58
00:02:13,785 --> 00:02:15,657
Oh, Joy doesn'’t deserve you.
59
00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:19,182
Wouldn'’t it have been easier
for your mom
60
00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:20,662
to just join us in Paris
for the wedding?
61
00:02:20,704 --> 00:02:23,012
Yes, but my mother'’s
never been easy.
62
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:25,101
So you must get it
from your dad.
63
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,805
I am sorry, Joy.
64
00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:37,418
There is nothing worse than a
parent showing up unannounced.
65
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:38,723
Hello, ladies.
66
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:40,464
Daddy.
67
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:42,204
What are you doing here?
68
00:02:42,249 --> 00:02:44,728
Don'’t you mean,
who is he doing here?
69
00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,214
Wait--wait a minute.
70
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,303
You mean to say that you
and Elka have been--
71
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:56,393
and you didn'’t think
to mention this?
72
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:59,656
We were doing
some unmentionable things.
73
00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,790
[Victoria]
Oh, God.
74
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:05,794
I'’ve also been seducing Elka
with my culinary skills.
75
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,796
Anyone else for Eggs a la Alex?
76
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,232
No, thanks.
77
00:03:09,276 --> 00:03:11,016
Just the thought of you and Elka
78
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:14,063
has replaced Joy'’s extra toe
as my appetite suppressant.
79
00:03:17,284 --> 00:03:20,374
Then, my darling,
we shall just feast alone.
80
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,940
- Mwah.
- Oh, I can'’t wait.
81
00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:25,988
I'’ve gotta dump your dad.
82
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:34,214
[upbeat music]
83
00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:36,433
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
84
00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:39,523
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
85
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,308
♪ Hey!
86
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:43,397
Doctor said she'’d be up and on
her feet by the end of the day.
87
00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:47,139
Oh, so she won'’t need
all these painkillers, right?
88
00:03:47,183 --> 00:03:49,490
I may need some to deal
with my father.
89
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:52,275
Has Elka gotten around
to breaking up with him yet?
90
00:03:52,319 --> 00:03:53,711
Well, she was going to.
91
00:03:53,755 --> 00:03:55,539
But then she tasted
his sweet-and-sour meatballs.
92
00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:01,850
Oh, can you believe our sweet
little Joy is moving on?
93
00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,199
Oh, we have had some good times
together.
94
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,722
[sighs]
95
00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:07,682
It is gonna be so sad walking
past this empty room.
96
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,597
No, Victoria.
97
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:11,728
We swore that we would tamp down
our sadness for Joy'’s sake.
98
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,775
No, you'’re right.
99
00:04:13,818 --> 00:04:17,692
We just have to act as if we'’re
happy that she'’s leaving us.
100
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:18,997
Oh, hey, you.
101
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,172
Are you awake?
102
00:04:20,216 --> 00:04:21,261
What are you talking about?
103
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:22,566
Oh, nothing.
104
00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,264
We were just talking about
how excited we are
105
00:04:24,307 --> 00:04:25,613
that you'’re getting married.
106
00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:27,310
Yes,
and how exciting it'’s gonna be
107
00:04:27,354 --> 00:04:29,181
to have an extra room
in the house.
108
00:04:29,225 --> 00:04:30,835
Good point, Victoria.
Ooh!
109
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:32,272
What shall we do with this room?
110
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,665
Well, we have talked about
starting an extra shoe room.
111
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:35,405
That'’s a great idea.
112
00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:36,841
Yes.
113
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,713
See, Joy,
great news for everybody.
114
00:04:38,756 --> 00:04:42,499
Ah.
There'’s our little patient.
115
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:44,022
So how are you feeling?
116
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:46,547
Good.
Where have you two been?
117
00:04:46,590 --> 00:04:48,244
I took your mom
to the import store
118
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,854
so she could buy you
some Marmite.
119
00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,334
Marmite?
120
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:54,076
It'’s a healthful yeast
by-product.
121
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:55,382
Rejoyla loves it.
122
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:57,079
No, I don'’t really like it.
123
00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:59,821
You don'’t know what you like.
124
00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:01,301
Why are you still in bed?
125
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:03,259
Well, the procedure was just
a few hours ago.
126
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,565
The doctor said
she should rest.
127
00:05:04,608 --> 00:05:06,131
Oh, rubbish.
128
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:08,090
When I got rid of my sixth toe,
129
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:10,353
I simply wrapped
a rubber band around it
130
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,050
until it fell off
like a lamb'’s tail.
131
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:17,578
I may never eat.
132
00:05:17,621 --> 00:05:19,580
Why don'’t we give Joy and Bob
a few minutes alone?
133
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:24,019
Thank you for taking care
of my mother.
134
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,368
I enjoy her.
135
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:28,110
My Canadian politeness
is the perfect foil
136
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,546
for her British imperiousness.
137
00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:31,331
We British aren'’t imperious.
138
00:05:31,374 --> 00:05:34,899
And I'’m too Canadian
to disagree.
139
00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:37,685
Well, my advice to you is to
compliment her and feed her gin,
140
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:39,382
and everything should go well.
141
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:42,298
Oh, I'’m so happy
I have you to deal with her.
142
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,822
Well, then why do you lookso sad?
143
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:47,956
Melanie and Victoria don'’t seem
too upset that I'’m moving out.
144
00:05:47,999 --> 00:05:51,089
In fact, they seem excited
to be taking over my room.
145
00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:52,482
Well, that'’s good, Joy.
146
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,049
The last thing you want
is for people to be sad.
147
00:05:54,092 --> 00:05:56,181
I suppose you'’re right.
148
00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:58,532
In fact, move in with me
right now.
149
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,403
Rip the Band-Aid off fast.
150
00:06:00,447 --> 00:06:02,187
You know, when I moved out
of my parents'’ place,
151
00:06:02,231 --> 00:06:04,451
I did it swiftly so
there would be no hard feelings.
152
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:07,062
You were 34.
153
00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:09,369
33 1/2.
Don'’t make me seem like loser.
154
00:06:18,682 --> 00:06:21,381
Alex, we need to talk.
155
00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:22,556
One moment.
156
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:23,905
I'’m gonna check
on my baby backs.
157
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:34,219
Are those hickory-smoked?
158
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,221
You know your ribs.
159
00:06:36,265 --> 00:06:39,964
Of course, it takes a great rack
to know one.
160
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,183
Now, what did you want
to tell me?
161
00:06:41,226 --> 00:06:42,750
Oh, it can wait.
162
00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:50,671
Is it such a burden for Joy to
wear the Scroggs family veil?
163
00:06:50,714 --> 00:06:55,240
Yes, it smells of camphor
and lacerates the skin.
164
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:59,810
But marriage isn'’t meant
to smell nice or feel good.
165
00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:04,249
Important words to hear
on the verge of my wedding.
166
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,425
Thank you.
167
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,949
It'’s so nice
to feel appreciated.
168
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:13,345
I think perhaps
what I'’m really upset about is
169
00:07:13,389 --> 00:07:15,652
that Joy hasn'’t apologized
to me yet.
170
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:17,045
For what?
171
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:20,222
That she'’s getting married
in France.
172
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,485
And?
173
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:26,141
She knows perfectly well
that Daniel, my ex,
174
00:07:26,184 --> 00:07:30,101
broke up with me
in a French restaurant.
175
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:34,497
Well, let me apologize
for both of us and for Daniel.
176
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:36,717
I'’m ashamed of my sex, knowing
there'’s a man out there
177
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,719
who gave up such
a gorgeous woman.
178
00:07:38,762 --> 00:07:41,504
Oh, Bob.
179
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:44,464
Something so charming
about a man apologizing.
180
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:47,554
They say
when you'’re with a woman,
181
00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:49,033
you should look at her mother
if you want
182
00:07:49,077 --> 00:07:50,382
to know what lies ahead.
183
00:07:50,426 --> 00:07:52,863
And when I look at you,
184
00:07:52,907 --> 00:07:55,953
I see my future in your eyes.
185
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:57,215
And I like what I see.
186
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:00,958
You are a flatterer.
187
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:03,004
Oh, it'’s not flattery
if it'’s true.
188
00:08:05,180 --> 00:08:08,270
Hey, why don'’t I get us another
round of these gin martinis?
189
00:08:10,054 --> 00:08:12,622
Oh, you'’ve got an eyelash there.
Let me get that.
190
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,153
So, Daddy, about you and Elka.
191
00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:25,200
Oh, she'’s a real tomato.
192
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:27,158
And speaking of tomatoes,
193
00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:30,771
I was thinking of preparing my
special three-day chili for her.
194
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,207
Three days?
195
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:35,036
That'’s sounds like
a pretty big commitment.
196
00:08:35,078 --> 00:08:37,995
How long does a sandwich take?
197
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:41,129
Victoria, I was hoping
to speak with--oh, hello.
198
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:42,304
Hello.
199
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:43,434
Alex Chase:
200
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,786
Victoria'’s father, Elka's lover.
201
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:47,352
Philipa Scroggs:
202
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:52,096
Joy'’s mother and recipient
of too much information.
203
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:55,491
Nothing sweeter than the musical
lilt of an English accent.
204
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:56,753
Would you like to join us
for dinner?
205
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,407
I'’ve got some ribs warming
in the oven.
206
00:08:58,450 --> 00:08:59,408
No, thank you.
207
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,366
I prefer my meat
the English way,
208
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,107
with the color boiled out of it.
209
00:09:03,151 --> 00:09:04,413
Ah.
210
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:05,719
Ladies, excuse me.
211
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:08,896
Oh, I feel terrible.
212
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:10,288
Oh, don'’t worry about Daddy.
213
00:09:10,332 --> 00:09:11,768
He takes everything
as a compliment.
214
00:09:11,812 --> 00:09:13,422
It'’s a Chase family trait.
215
00:09:13,465 --> 00:09:15,424
No, not him.
216
00:09:15,467 --> 00:09:17,426
There'’s something
weighing on my heart,
217
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:19,210
and I need to tell someone.
218
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:20,472
Oh, of course, Philipa.
219
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,257
What is it?
220
00:09:22,300 --> 00:09:23,911
I think I'’m in love Bob.
221
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:33,921
You'’re in love with Bob,
your daughter'’s fiancé?
222
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:36,010
Oh, it'’s so wrong.
223
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,315
I just can'’t help myself.
224
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,274
All right.
225
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:41,711
I won'’t tell anyone about this
and neither should you.
226
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:44,627
You just have
to tamp down your feelings.
227
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:47,630
And you can hide them
by being extra nice to Joy.
228
00:09:47,674 --> 00:09:50,328
"Be extra nice to Joy."
Uh-hmm.
229
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:53,984
It'’s odd on the tongue.
230
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:56,639
Yes, I do owe her that much.
231
00:09:56,683 --> 00:10:00,817
Oh, why is so hard
to be a mother?
232
00:10:00,861 --> 00:10:03,515
I used to ask my children'’s
nannies the same thing.
233
00:10:07,563 --> 00:10:08,738
What'’s this?
What'’s going on?
234
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:10,566
Bob packed up my stuff.
235
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:11,872
I decided to move in
with him early.
236
00:10:11,915 --> 00:10:13,134
What?
237
00:10:13,177 --> 00:10:14,918
I mean, that'’s great news.
238
00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:16,659
We just thought that
you weren'’t gonna do that
239
00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,052
until after the wedding.
240
00:10:18,095 --> 00:10:21,316
I wasn'’t,
but why drag it out, right?
241
00:10:21,359 --> 00:10:24,580
So I'’ll leave, and you can get
started on turning my room
242
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:25,581
into your shoe room.
243
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,061
That'’s true.
244
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:28,540
We can get started right away
on the shoe room.
245
00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:29,846
Yes, let'’s get started
on the shoe room.
246
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:31,718
And what a lovely shoe room
this will be.
247
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:32,719
She'’s gone.
248
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:35,809
You can stop saying "shoe room."
249
00:10:35,852 --> 00:10:37,332
Although, congratulations to us.
250
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,247
That was some pretty good
tamping down of our feelings.
251
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,075
Speaking of tamping down,
252
00:10:41,118 --> 00:10:42,206
I'’m tamping down the urge
to tell you something
253
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,991
I promised I wouldn'’t tellanyone.
254
00:10:44,034 --> 00:10:45,949
Victoria, we'’ve been friends
for over 30 years.
255
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,385
We both know how this ends.
256
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:48,648
All right, I'’ll tell you.
257
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:51,781
Philipa has fallen in love
with Bob.
258
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,043
What?
259
00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,218
Oh, my God.
260
00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:55,306
How long have you been tamping
that down?
261
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:58,135
15 whole minutes.
262
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,703
Look, now,
she'’s not gonna act on this.
263
00:11:00,747 --> 00:11:03,401
And the most important thing is
that Joy never finds out.
264
00:11:03,445 --> 00:11:06,187
We have to make this the
happiest time of her life.
265
00:11:06,230 --> 00:11:07,492
Even though she doesn'’t seem
to care
266
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:08,711
about our feelings very much.
267
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,017
I know.
268
00:11:10,060 --> 00:11:11,758
It'’s like she cut off
her sixth toe,
269
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:15,718
and now she can'’t stop
walking away.
270
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,546
Maybe that toe was
where her heart was.
271
00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:28,165
Oh, Rejoyla, a day'’s bed rest
has done you the world of good.
272
00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:31,386
You look two
to three years younger.
273
00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:33,344
Thank you, Mother.
274
00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:35,129
Here, let me take that box for
you, darling, put it in the car.
275
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:37,218
You rest.
276
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:40,482
Oh, and by the way, if you don'’t
want to wear the family veil,
277
00:11:40,525 --> 00:11:41,701
that'’s quite all right.
278
00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:49,056
Bob, you'’re amazing.
279
00:11:49,099 --> 00:11:51,798
Well, I guess somebody heard
I did eight push-ups
280
00:11:51,841 --> 00:11:54,626
at the gym today.
281
00:11:54,670 --> 00:11:55,627
No.
282
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:56,759
I'’m talking about my mother.
283
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,326
She'’s never been so sweet.
284
00:11:58,369 --> 00:11:59,675
Whatever you'’re doing,
keep it up.
285
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:02,156
In fact, double down
and do more.
286
00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:03,374
Don'’t you worry, Joy.
287
00:12:03,418 --> 00:12:05,028
Tell your mother
to tighten her suspenders.
288
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,900
I'’m about to charm
her pants off.
289
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:11,861
[crickets chirping]
290
00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:13,994
You complete me.
291
00:12:14,037 --> 00:12:15,430
Really?
292
00:12:15,473 --> 00:12:17,693
Sorry.
I was talking to the ribs.
293
00:12:19,173 --> 00:12:21,088
Fair enough.
294
00:12:24,656 --> 00:12:27,921
Look, Alex,
this isn'’t gonna work.
295
00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:30,271
I knew it.
296
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:32,403
It was inevitable, I suppose.
297
00:12:32,447 --> 00:12:35,189
But it was a wild ride,
you and me.
298
00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:38,932
Me hanging onto to bronc,
waiting for that bell to ring.
299
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:42,196
And my lasso, she could only
keep you tied up so long.
300
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:47,505
[Alex]
Elka?
301
00:12:47,549 --> 00:12:49,899
Elka?
302
00:12:49,943 --> 00:12:51,422
Oh, sorry.
303
00:12:51,466 --> 00:12:52,728
Meat coma.
304
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:58,647
Well, an actor knows when it'’s
time to make a solitary exit.
305
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,478
I'’ll never find another woman
like you, Elka.
306
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:06,263
That'’s true.
307
00:13:06,307 --> 00:13:08,570
On the other hand,
what do you think of Philipa?
308
00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,618
Oh, my God, Bob.
309
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,272
I haven'’t moved out my stuff,
310
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:17,144
and they'’ve already turned it
into their shoe room.
311
00:13:17,187 --> 00:13:19,189
They'’re not sad
I'’m leaving at all.
312
00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:22,323
Maybe they'’re just jealous
that you'’re marrying me.
313
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:23,890
[chuckling]
Oh, Bob.
314
00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:25,413
That'’s what I love about you.
315
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,023
You always make me laugh.
316
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:29,721
Right.
317
00:13:29,765 --> 00:13:31,419
So how'’s it going with my mum?
318
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:32,942
She'’s not here yet.
319
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,944
Well, find out how long
she'’s staying.
320
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:36,337
If it'’s gonna be more
than a week,
321
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,295
see if you can entice her
into going to a hotel.
322
00:13:38,339 --> 00:13:39,383
I'’ll do my best.
323
00:13:39,427 --> 00:13:40,428
Oh, here she is.
324
00:13:40,471 --> 00:13:42,473
Wish me luck.
325
00:13:42,517 --> 00:13:44,867
Philipa, a vision as always.
326
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:46,869
Thank you for joining me
for lunch.
327
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:49,045
I won'’t be staying long.
328
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:50,438
Well, then I will cherish
the moments
329
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:51,569
that we do have together.
330
00:13:51,613 --> 00:13:53,354
In fact, I was wondering,
331
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:56,444
how much more time will we have
you here in Cleveland?
332
00:13:56,487 --> 00:13:57,837
Till the wedding,
of course.
333
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,360
No.
334
00:13:59,403 --> 00:14:03,016
Only four more brief weeks?
335
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,365
Well, then I'’m gonna suggest
336
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:07,542
something old
and unconventional.
337
00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:11,807
How would you feel about
checking into a hotel?
338
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:14,201
Really?
339
00:14:14,244 --> 00:14:16,899
A hotel?
340
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:20,947
I think it might make
everything easier.
341
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:22,600
What do you think?
342
00:14:22,644 --> 00:14:25,952
Are you saying
what I think you'’re saying?
343
00:14:25,995 --> 00:14:30,347
I'’m saying I want to see you
in the best hotel room in town.
344
00:14:30,391 --> 00:14:34,351
Room service, champagne,
whatever your heart desires.
345
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:36,179
What about Joy?
346
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,399
Oh, she'’ll be a little sad
at first.
347
00:14:38,442 --> 00:14:40,836
But I'’m sure she'll come around
to accepting it.
348
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:44,274
More than anything, she wants
you to be happy, as do I.
349
00:14:44,318 --> 00:14:45,536
Oh.
350
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:47,930
This is all so overwhelming.
351
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:50,802
I felt foolish having feelingsfor you.
352
00:14:50,846 --> 00:14:51,847
Feelings?
353
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:56,373
Now I know that you share
those feelings,
354
00:14:56,417 --> 00:14:58,158
I'’m over the moon.
355
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:00,160
But...
356
00:15:00,203 --> 00:15:02,118
It will be difficult dealing
with Rejoyla.
357
00:15:02,162 --> 00:15:05,861
But let'’s not worry about
that now.
358
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:09,909
Oh, Bob,
you make me feel so alive.
359
00:15:11,258 --> 00:15:13,303
I'’m going to pick up
something disgraceful
360
00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:14,783
at Victoria'’s Secret.
361
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:32,714
Joy, do you need any help
in there?
362
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,368
No, no.
I can do it myself.
363
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:36,631
By herself.
364
00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:38,676
Well, I guess she doesn'’t need
us at all anymore.
365
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,722
No, no.
Tamp, tamp.
366
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:43,116
We can feel those feelings
but we can'’t say them.
367
00:15:43,159 --> 00:15:46,293
[Joy]
I'’m ready.
368
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:47,337
[Victoria]
Aww.
369
00:15:47,381 --> 00:15:48,556
[gasps]
Oh.
370
00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,384
Oh.
371
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,255
You look beautiful.
372
00:15:52,299 --> 00:15:53,691
I hate you.
373
00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:56,956
What?
374
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:58,218
I couldn'’t hold it in anymore.
375
00:15:58,261 --> 00:16:00,002
You didn'’t hold it in at all!
376
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:01,177
And I hate you too.
377
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,831
Why?
378
00:16:02,874 --> 00:16:05,312
Because you'’re leaving us,
and you don'’t care.
379
00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:06,748
I don'’t care?
380
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:07,967
You'’re the ones who don't care.
381
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,055
You couldn'’t wait for me to go
382
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:10,447
to make more room
for your shoes.
383
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:11,448
I hate both of you.
384
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:13,015
But we only acted like that
385
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,582
because you were acting
like you couldn'’t care less.
386
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:17,933
I was tamping down my feelings
for your sake.
387
00:16:17,977 --> 00:16:20,762
We were tamping down
our feelings for your sake.
388
00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:22,546
We don'’t hate you.
We love you.
389
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:25,419
And you look so beautiful
in your dress.
390
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:27,160
I love you too.
391
00:16:27,203 --> 00:16:29,597
[all crying]
392
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:30,598
[cell phone pings]
393
00:16:30,641 --> 00:16:31,642
Oh, there'’s your phone.
394
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:34,471
It'’s your phone.
Get it.
395
00:16:34,515 --> 00:16:36,125
Oh, it'’s my mother.
396
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:37,518
"On my way over.
397
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,476
Have something awkward
to discuss."
398
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,478
Oh, my God.
399
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:44,829
That'’s British for
"I'’m about to ruin your life."
400
00:16:44,873 --> 00:16:47,049
Wait, what if she'’s sick?
401
00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:48,659
I can'’t stand her,
402
00:16:48,703 --> 00:16:50,661
but I don'’t want something bad
to happen to her.
403
00:16:50,705 --> 00:16:51,923
She'’s in love with Bob.
404
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:55,623
I'’ll kill the bitch.
405
00:16:55,665 --> 00:16:57,755
[Philipa]
Rejoyla, prepare yourself.
406
00:16:57,799 --> 00:16:58,800
I'’m going to make a scene.
407
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:04,066
Oh, my goodness.
408
00:17:04,109 --> 00:17:06,373
Oh, you look stunning.
409
00:17:06,415 --> 00:17:09,115
You'’re the most beautiful bride
I'’ve ever seen.
410
00:17:09,157 --> 00:17:10,768
Thank you.
411
00:17:10,811 --> 00:17:13,728
That'’s a very sweet thing
to say.
412
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:16,599
But I believe you came here
to tell me something.
413
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:18,515
Yes, I did.
414
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:20,952
But looking at you now,
415
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:24,781
I realize
what I wanted to say is...
416
00:17:24,826 --> 00:17:26,958
I'’m a silly old fool.
417
00:17:27,002 --> 00:17:28,221
What are you talking about?
418
00:17:28,263 --> 00:17:29,918
Oh, I'’ve been in a bad place
419
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:32,660
ever since Daniel broke up
with me.
420
00:17:32,703 --> 00:17:34,531
I'’ve been lonely and vulnerable,
421
00:17:34,575 --> 00:17:37,056
and it'’s led me to some
very peculiar behavior.
422
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,059
[Bob]
Joy, are you in there?
423
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,364
Bob, you can'’t come in here.
424
00:17:41,408 --> 00:17:42,539
You can'’t see the dress.
425
00:17:42,583 --> 00:17:44,802
[Bob]
I'’ll cover my eyes.
426
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:47,370
Joy, I need to talk to you
before your mother gets here.
427
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:48,110
Hello, Bob.
428
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,590
Ah!
429
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:53,115
Joy, what did she say to you?
430
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,117
I didn'’t say anything to her.
431
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,946
But I want to say something
to you, Bob.
432
00:17:57,989 --> 00:18:00,905
You shouldn'’t love any womanbut Joy.
433
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:04,692
She'’s strong and brave,
and you'’re lucky to marry her.
434
00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:07,303
And if you say or do anything
to hurt her,
435
00:18:07,347 --> 00:18:09,871
I'’ll rip off your head
and spit down the hole.
436
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,272
I love Joy.
437
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:21,012
I'’ll never do anything
to hurt her.
438
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:22,884
See that you don'’t.
439
00:18:22,927 --> 00:18:24,625
Good-bye, Bob.
440
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:30,979
So, Joy, how much do you know?
441
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:32,676
I know that my mother fell
in love with you
442
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,809
because I made you
be extra nice to her.
443
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,941
And nobody can resist
your charms
444
00:18:36,985 --> 00:18:38,378
when you'’re turning them on.
445
00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,249
Well, that was easy.
446
00:18:40,293 --> 00:18:42,033
I didn'’t think I'd get out of
here without a bunch of yelling.
447
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:44,166
[all yelling at once]
448
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:45,080
Ah, there it is.
449
00:18:52,957 --> 00:18:54,872
[crickets chirping]
450
00:18:54,916 --> 00:18:57,875
I am so glad you decided
not to move out
451
00:18:57,919 --> 00:18:58,876
until after the wedding.
452
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,617
Me too.
453
00:19:00,661 --> 00:19:03,751
Now, we can do this the right
way: in slow, painful stages.
454
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:04,752
[chuckles]
455
00:19:04,795 --> 00:19:06,754
Yeah.
456
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:08,712
I'’m really gonna miss coming in
here and just sitting with you.
457
00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:11,933
This room does have
a lot of memories.
458
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:14,849
Especially that bed.
459
00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:16,285
That'’s why
I'’m not sitting on it.
460
00:19:19,984 --> 00:19:22,117
And we have decided to keep
your room just as it is.
461
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:23,379
You can come back
and visit anytime.
462
00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:28,341
Thank you for a lovely visit,Rejoyla.
463
00:19:28,384 --> 00:19:29,646
I'’m returning to London now,
464
00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:32,301
but I shall see you in Paris
on the big day.
465
00:19:32,345 --> 00:19:34,521
You'’re leaving so soon?
466
00:19:34,564 --> 00:19:35,870
Can I at least give you a lift
to the airport?
467
00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:38,612
She has one.
468
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:40,440
Daddy, that is so sweet.
469
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,834
Philipa has promised to give me
a culinary tour of Britain.
470
00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:45,967
That should only take an hour,
471
00:19:46,010 --> 00:19:48,491
giving us plenty of time for--
how shall I put this?
472
00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:51,146
Sex.
473
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:54,323
Let'’s go
before I change my mind.
474
00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:55,803
- Bye, love.
- Bye-bye.
475
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:01,417
He'’s boorish, and uncouth, and I
just might do him on the plane.
476
00:20:05,247 --> 00:20:08,119
Well, I guess that worked out.
477
00:20:10,339 --> 00:20:13,864
So my mum is gonna sleep
with your dad.
478
00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:15,953
Well, come to think of it,
he also slept with my mom.
479
00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:17,781
And me.
480
00:20:17,825 --> 00:20:18,826
Yeah.
481
00:20:18,869 --> 00:20:20,567
And Joy and I both slept
with Bob.
482
00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:23,134
And you and I both slept with
Captain LeBeau from the ship.
483
00:20:23,178 --> 00:20:25,093
And Melanie and I both slept
with Kyle,
484
00:20:25,136 --> 00:20:26,355
the guy who left at the altar.
485
00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:27,487
And we both slept with Mitch.
486
00:20:27,530 --> 00:20:29,489
And we all slept with Sinatra.
487
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:33,884
Oh, wait, it was just me.
488
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:41,762
[upbeat music]
489
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,286
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
490
00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:46,419
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
491
00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:51,598
♪
492
00:20:51,641 --> 00:20:53,730
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
493
00:20:53,774 --> 00:20:55,993
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
494
00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:06,265
♪ Hey!
35731
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