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00:00:03,699 --> 00:00:04,787
[Elka]
Hot in Clevelandis recorded
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00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:07,050
in front
of a live studio audience.
3
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:09,487
[male TV announcer]
The Cincinnati Bengals
are at their own one-yard line,
4
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:12,403
and barring a miracle, this game
belongs to the Cleveland Browns.
5
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:15,972
Well, that must make
you happy, huh, Elka?
6
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:18,235
She'’s on the phone
with the mayor of Cincinnati.
7
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,498
She bet him
that if Cleveland wins,
8
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,587
he has to wear
the Browns mascot costume
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00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:26,461
for a week
and dress like a dog.
10
00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:32,075
I hope that costume
won'’t be too ruff on you.
11
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:34,730
[TV announcer]
And it'’s Dalton to Jones,
and he'’s down.
12
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,471
No, a lateral to Bernard,
13
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:37,515
and he'’s up!
14
00:00:37,559 --> 00:00:38,299
They'’re not gonna catch him!
15
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:39,996
What? No!
16
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,911
[TV announcer]
Touchdown! It'’s a miracle!
17
00:00:41,954 --> 00:00:42,999
The Bengals win!
18
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:45,045
The Bengals win!
19
00:00:45,088 --> 00:00:48,091
That was amazing.
20
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:52,791
I mean, boo.
21
00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:54,184
I guess you lost the bet,
huh?
22
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:57,709
I'’ve never been a loser
before.
23
00:00:57,753 --> 00:01:00,408
How do you guys do it?
24
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,978
[door bell rings]
25
00:01:09,591 --> 00:01:12,028
- Hi, baby.
- Hey, babe.
26
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:14,683
Oh, weird.
27
00:01:14,726 --> 00:01:18,426
It'’s like kissing my mom.
28
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,950
You kiss your mom that way?
29
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:22,821
No, it'’s just that you're
wearing the same perfume
30
00:01:22,865 --> 00:01:23,953
my mom wears.
31
00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:25,301
Oh, yeah, I was at
the mall today,
32
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:26,956
and some girl asked me
if I like Shalimar,
33
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:29,567
and while I was trying to
remember if it was a disco band
34
00:01:29,611 --> 00:01:32,744
or a perfume, she got me.
35
00:01:32,788 --> 00:01:33,745
I'’ll go wash it off.
36
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,138
Don'’t use the kitchen sink.
37
00:01:35,182 --> 00:01:36,792
It'’s leaking.
We need to call a plumber.
38
00:01:36,835 --> 00:01:37,923
[Dane]
You don'’t need a plumber.
39
00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:39,273
You got the guy right here.
40
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:43,146
[Bob]
Two guys.
41
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,061
I didn'’t realize
you were the handy type.
42
00:01:45,104 --> 00:01:46,280
[Bob]
Are you kidding?
43
00:01:46,323 --> 00:01:47,455
Yeah, when I was a kid,
I used to help
44
00:01:47,497 --> 00:01:49,196
my dad fix stuff
all the time.
45
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:50,240
So you want
me to grab you a beer
46
00:01:50,283 --> 00:01:54,592
or just go play
in the back yard?
47
00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:55,985
Isn'’t Bob adorable?
48
00:01:56,027 --> 00:01:58,640
Oh, I'’m so in love with him.
49
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:01,382
I think I'’m ready to give him
the Love, Actuallytest.
50
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:04,907
Joy, you know the reason
every guy fails that test?
51
00:02:04,950 --> 00:02:06,778
It'’s because guys
don'’t like Love, Actually.
52
00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,911
Bob is not like other guys.
53
00:02:08,954 --> 00:02:10,913
I believe he is the one guy
54
00:02:10,955 --> 00:02:14,873
who will love that movie
as much as I do.
55
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:19,269
Doesn'’t Bob remind you
a little bit of Colin Firth?
56
00:02:19,313 --> 00:02:23,273
Yeah, you really are in love.
57
00:02:23,317 --> 00:02:24,840
What a disaster.
58
00:02:24,883 --> 00:02:26,320
A week before my play opens,
59
00:02:26,363 --> 00:02:29,801
and my costar totally screws me
and leaves the show.
60
00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:30,933
What happened?
61
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:34,763
Oh, his appendix burst.
62
00:02:34,805 --> 00:02:37,722
Where are we gonna find a
masculine Stanley Kowalski type
63
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:40,334
in his 40s in such little time?
64
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:44,468
Just letting you know
I turned the water off.
65
00:02:44,512 --> 00:02:46,296
And I helped out
with the whole righty-tighty,
66
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:49,821
lefty-loosy business.
67
00:02:49,865 --> 00:02:51,692
Excuse me,
have you ever acted?
68
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:55,697
I was the star
in a Nativity play once,
69
00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:58,308
literally the star.
70
00:02:58,352 --> 00:03:03,183
Ah, but you weren'’t
talking to me.
71
00:03:03,226 --> 00:03:05,968
Me? Oh, I haven'’t acted
before.
72
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:07,883
Oh, but honey, you could.
73
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,537
You should be
in Victoria'’s play.
74
00:03:09,580 --> 00:03:10,929
I mean,
you'’re between jobs right now,
75
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,758
and this might be just the thing
to get you going.
76
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:14,846
And you look like an actor.
77
00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:15,891
I mean, that'’s half of it.
78
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:19,460
80%, really.
79
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,766
I'’m afraid
I would embarrass myself.
80
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,552
Come on. On my radio show,
I am always telling people,
81
00:03:24,595 --> 00:03:27,207
fears about embarrassment
almost never come true.
82
00:03:27,250 --> 00:03:28,512
[Elka]
Not in this case.
83
00:03:39,043 --> 00:03:41,046
I know I'’m 18 days
into a juice fast,
84
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:45,921
but is anyone else
seeing Elka
85
00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:48,184
in a tiger suit?
86
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,968
She has to dress
like the mascot
87
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,840
of the Cincinnati Bengals
for a whole week
88
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:53,450
because she lost a bet.
89
00:03:53,494 --> 00:03:56,105
And I'’m scheduled
to be on The Grillthis week.
90
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,802
The Grillwith Arnie McManus?
91
00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,413
I love that show.
92
00:03:59,456 --> 00:04:01,066
He'’s always taking
politicians down.
93
00:04:05,027 --> 00:04:09,858
I'’m a politician,
you idiot.
94
00:04:09,901 --> 00:04:12,034
Well, normally I'’d be upset
when someone calls me an idiot,
95
00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:15,298
but in that tiger suit,
well, she'’s just so adorable.
96
00:04:22,043 --> 00:04:25,526
Oh, it'’s gonna be a long week.
97
00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:30,008
[upbeat music]
98
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:32,272
♪ Ba-ba, Ba-ba
99
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:35,231
♪ Ba-ba, Ba-ba
100
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,146
♪ Hey!
101
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:39,757
I just came to watch.
102
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:43,979
I ordered room service.
103
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:45,067
Are you hungry?
104
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:47,765
Hungry for you.
105
00:04:47,808 --> 00:04:52,553
Kiss me, Marnie.
106
00:04:52,596 --> 00:04:55,382
What the--
107
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:59,255
Stop it.
108
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,039
Your girlfriend doesn'’t
kiss you like that, does she?
109
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:06,480
I wouldn'’t be here
if she did.
110
00:05:06,523 --> 00:05:09,352
Their chemistry is amazing.
111
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:11,789
Everyone thinks
they must be doing it.
112
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:14,662
Well, they'’re not
because that'’s my boyfriend
113
00:05:14,705 --> 00:05:15,663
and my best friend.
114
00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,882
Oh, just like in the play.
115
00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:19,797
Yeah, yeah.
116
00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:22,670
Just like in the play.
117
00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:24,019
That was great.
118
00:05:24,062 --> 00:05:25,368
Now let'’s go again,
but remember to show
119
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,762
that insatiable hunger
you have for each other.
120
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:28,850
I want to see more heat.
121
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:32,201
More?
122
00:05:32,244 --> 00:05:34,508
Sorry.
Hi, honey.
123
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:41,384
Oh, my god, Melanie,
acting is such a rush.
124
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,821
Yeah, yeah, but all that
kissing with Victoria,
125
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:45,519
it almost seemed real.
126
00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:46,824
It was real.
127
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:48,609
I'’m sorry, what?
128
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,437
For my character.
129
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:54,179
My character
really was kissing Victoria.
130
00:05:54,223 --> 00:05:56,399
But aren'’t you your character?
131
00:05:56,443 --> 00:06:00,055
Let me explain to you
how acting works, Melanie.
132
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,709
My character says
he'’s a painter.
133
00:06:01,752 --> 00:06:04,538
Does that make Dane
a painter, too?
134
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:07,454
No.
135
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:12,807
Until he walks out there
on that stage, and then yes,
136
00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:15,070
he'’s a painter.
137
00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:18,813
Got it,
but about all that kissing.
138
00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:21,946
Does Dane get sexually excited
when he kisses Victoria?
139
00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:24,253
No.
140
00:06:24,296 --> 00:06:27,169
But when my character
kisses Victoria...
141
00:06:27,212 --> 00:06:31,303
oh, yeah.
142
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:34,784
Well, that really
clears things up.
143
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:37,222
There she is.
144
00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:41,226
Look at her, beauty,
brains, funny.
145
00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:45,405
You never get all three
in the same package.
146
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:48,190
No, you do not.
147
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:49,800
Hello, Victoria.
148
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:51,236
Can I get you a drink?
149
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,282
I'’ll have a glass
of merlot.
150
00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:55,327
Okay.
151
00:06:55,371 --> 00:06:58,766
Wow. Melanie,
your boyfriend is a natural.
152
00:06:58,808 --> 00:07:00,289
I was freaked out
about opening night,
153
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,030
but now I can'’t wait.
154
00:07:02,073 --> 00:07:03,988
The critics are gonna love us.
155
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:06,513
But you know,
it'’s a little unsettling
156
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,950
watching someone you'’re crazy
about kissing someone else.
157
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:11,343
Mel, it'’s just acting.
158
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:13,041
Yeah, but you really
seemed into it.
159
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,522
No, I'’m not,
but my character.
160
00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:18,960
[purrs]
161
00:07:19,003 --> 00:07:20,701
Let me explain how acting works.
162
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:24,922
I know how acting works!
163
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:27,621
[melodramatic piano plays
on TV]
164
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:31,712
So that was Love, Actually.
165
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,148
What did you think?
166
00:07:33,191 --> 00:07:36,194
I loved it.
Sweet and funny.
167
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:38,153
- Just like you.
- Aw.
168
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:40,721
Melanie said no guy would like
it, but I knew you would.
169
00:07:40,764 --> 00:07:42,244
Oh, of course.
170
00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:46,030
I mean, what a cast,
Hugh Grant, Liam Neeson,
171
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,119
Snape from Harry Potter.
172
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,649
Shall we continue
this Love, Actuallydiscussion
173
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:56,780
upstairs?
174
00:07:56,824 --> 00:08:00,262
Yes, actually.
175
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:04,309
- Let'’s get some wine.
- All right.
176
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:05,702
Elka, what are you doing here?
177
00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,530
Isn'’t this your bowling night?
178
00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:11,360
I'’m not leaving this house
until this bet is over.
179
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:14,581
Now, get off my tail.
180
00:08:14,624 --> 00:08:16,191
Okay, I'’m sorry.
181
00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:20,456
No, you'’re standing
on my tail.
182
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,326
Well, you'’re gonna
have to leave the house
183
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:23,024
to appear on The Grill.
184
00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,939
No, I don'’t.
I postponed.
185
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:27,028
Because of the suit?
186
00:08:27,071 --> 00:08:30,553
Plus I'’ve got a few things
I don'’t want to be asked about.
187
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,467
Like how you'’re still
living here
188
00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:37,429
and renting out
the mayor'’s mansion on AirBnB?
189
00:08:37,472 --> 00:08:41,303
I'’ve got a wedding
coming in next week.
190
00:08:41,346 --> 00:08:43,347
Arnie'’s gonna kill you
on The Grill.
191
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:45,350
He already has.
192
00:08:45,394 --> 00:08:47,091
They'’ve been
running his promo all day.
193
00:08:49,877 --> 00:08:53,489
Mayor Elka Ostrovsky,
why are you avoiding me?
194
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,405
Are you too busy making
silly bets to hop on The Grill
195
00:08:56,448 --> 00:08:58,450
and answer the tough questions?
196
00:08:58,494 --> 00:09:02,280
Or to put it another way,
is the tiger chicken?
197
00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:06,284
I agree you shouldn'’t go
on the show,
198
00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:07,851
but isn'’t hiding out here
199
00:09:07,895 --> 00:09:11,376
worse than taking
a little public teasing?
200
00:09:11,420 --> 00:09:14,031
You'’re right.
201
00:09:14,075 --> 00:09:17,078
I'’m gonna go out there
and take my medicine.
202
00:09:17,121 --> 00:09:20,603
You'’re going to the bar,
aren'’t you?
203
00:09:20,647 --> 00:09:22,039
That'’s where they keep
my medicine.
204
00:09:28,089 --> 00:09:30,700
I think Dane'’s falling in love
with Victoria.
205
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:31,919
Oh, I'’m sure he's not.
206
00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:32,920
It'’s just the play.
207
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:35,183
The play is the problem.
208
00:09:35,226 --> 00:09:36,924
Melanie,
if you want my advice,
209
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:39,100
this is a trust issue.
210
00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:40,710
That'’s where I'm lucky with Bob.
211
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:44,671
The only thing I ever wanted
from him was complete honesty,
212
00:09:44,714 --> 00:09:47,151
and he'’s given me that.
213
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:50,633
How does that address
my problem?
214
00:09:50,677 --> 00:09:54,811
I guess it doesn'’t.
215
00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:57,422
I'’m gonna call Bob and tell him
how much I love him.
216
00:09:57,466 --> 00:10:00,643
And look,
there'’s a message from him.
217
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:01,731
See how in sync we are?
218
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:04,125
Amazing.
219
00:10:04,168 --> 00:10:07,607
[Bob voicemail]
Actually, Dr. Cutler, it'’s been
a pretty good week for me.
220
00:10:07,650 --> 00:10:11,088
He must have butt-dialed me
from his therapist'’s office.
221
00:10:11,132 --> 00:10:16,441
This is the holy grail
of snooping on your boyfriend.
222
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,705
[Bob voicemail]
Things are going great
with Joy,
223
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:21,142
except she made me sit
through this misshapen freak
224
00:10:21,185 --> 00:10:23,840
of a movie called
Love, Actually.
225
00:10:23,884 --> 00:10:25,625
He said he loved it.
226
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:26,669
[Bob voicemail]
If I wanted to be tortured
for two hours,
227
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:30,891
I'’d take a Pilates class.
228
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,719
Anyway, about my hopes and dre--
229
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:35,243
Who cares?
230
00:10:35,286 --> 00:10:37,898
Can you believe
Bob lied to me?
231
00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:40,814
He'’s a liar like every
other man I'’ve dated.
232
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:42,467
What are you gonna do?
233
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:43,904
I'’m gonna torture him
with Pilates
234
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:47,908
until he confesses
he'’s a liar.
235
00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:49,823
Bob'’s still trainable.
236
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:52,913
I'’m gonna break him
like a puppy.
237
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:55,219
Dane is like a puppy
with this acting thing.
238
00:10:55,263 --> 00:10:57,526
He just wants to put his mouth
on everything,
239
00:10:57,569 --> 00:11:00,485
especially Victoria.
240
00:11:00,529 --> 00:11:03,837
If only there was some puppy
repellant we could spray on her.
241
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:07,275
There is, Dane'’s mother's
perfume, Shalimar.
242
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:08,624
He'’ll still have to kiss her,
243
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,408
but he'’ll hate
every second of it.
244
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:12,933
All I have to do is spray it
on Victoria'’s costume.
245
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:15,283
That'’s a brilliant idea.
246
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,850
You know, most girlfriends
247
00:11:16,893 --> 00:11:21,332
wouldn'’t care enough
to go as far as we do.
248
00:11:21,376 --> 00:11:23,900
They'’re lucky to have us.
249
00:11:23,944 --> 00:11:26,250
[helicopter blades whirring]
250
00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:27,817
Oh, my goodness.
251
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:30,385
Why is there a helicopter
landing on our front lawn?
252
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:34,519
Thanks, LeBron.
253
00:11:39,046 --> 00:11:41,657
This suit is magic.
254
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:44,704
LeBron James just dropped you
off in his helicopter.
255
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:47,750
Well, first we
stopped in Atlantic City.
256
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:50,318
- I won big.
- What?
257
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:54,365
I was counting cards out loud.
258
00:11:54,409 --> 00:11:56,759
They didn'’t care.
259
00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,761
So I guess
you'’re not hiding anymore?
260
00:11:58,805 --> 00:12:02,547
I'’m bulletproof, which is
why I'’m going on The Grill.
261
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:05,681
Elka, Arnie McManus
will eat you alive.
262
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,770
I got this.
263
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:10,425
I also got this.
264
00:12:10,468 --> 00:12:13,254
Is that LeBron James'’
championship ring?
265
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:15,212
Not anymore.
266
00:12:20,043 --> 00:12:21,871
I'’m so glad you like Pilates.
267
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:23,264
Are you kidding?
268
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,919
I love it.
269
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:30,140
It'’s fantastic, the way
it'’s stretching my groin.
270
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:33,622
I can'’t believe there was a time
I didn'’t do it.
271
00:12:33,665 --> 00:12:37,539
Oh, just thinking
about that time now.
272
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:40,107
So you'’re really enjoying it?
273
00:12:40,150 --> 00:12:44,198
Yeah, it'’s so much fun.
274
00:12:44,241 --> 00:12:45,939
- Liar.
- What?
275
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,723
You lied to me about Pilates,
276
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,204
the same way you lied
to me about Love, Actually.
277
00:12:50,247 --> 00:12:51,553
How do you know that?
278
00:12:51,596 --> 00:12:54,599
I mean, why would you say that?
279
00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:59,256
Because you butt-dialed me
from your therapy session.
280
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:02,912
And you listened?
281
00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:04,653
Don'’t change the subject.
282
00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,176
You violated my trust.
283
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:10,224
Well, what about
my trust, huh?
284
00:13:10,267 --> 00:13:11,791
Listening in
on a therapy session
285
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,836
is way worse than pretending
to like some stupid movie.
286
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:15,316
Stupid movie?
287
00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:16,970
Yes, stupid movie.
288
00:13:17,013 --> 00:13:19,320
Some creepy stalker holding up
a bunch of dumb cue cards
289
00:13:19,363 --> 00:13:20,669
for the woman he loves?
290
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:21,888
What'’s romantic about that?
291
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:23,324
How about everything?
292
00:13:23,367 --> 00:13:25,326
That'’s only my favorite scene.
293
00:13:25,369 --> 00:13:27,067
The point is, you lied,
294
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:29,286
and if you lied about this,
what else have you lied about?
295
00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:32,550
No, the point is you
eavesdropped, and I'’m furious.
296
00:13:32,594 --> 00:13:34,422
I'’m gonna need you
to storm out right now.
297
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:35,727
Me? Why should I storm out?
298
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:37,207
Why don'’t you storm out?
299
00:13:37,251 --> 00:13:38,818
Because I also lied about
how good it felt
300
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:40,036
to stretch my groin.
301
00:13:48,784 --> 00:13:50,264
Well, I did it.
302
00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:52,483
Not only did I spray Victoria'’s
costume with Shalimar,
303
00:13:52,527 --> 00:13:54,094
but I doused Dane'’s
in Old Spice,
304
00:13:54,137 --> 00:13:55,965
which is the cologne
that Victoria'’s dad wears.
305
00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:59,142
It'’s gonna be like they're
kissing their parents.
306
00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,491
Where'’s Bob?
307
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,145
I don'’t think he's coming.
308
00:14:02,189 --> 00:14:03,581
I found the love of my life
309
00:14:03,625 --> 00:14:06,106
and I pushed him away
with my stupid scheme
310
00:14:06,149 --> 00:14:07,237
just like you'’re about to push
Dane away
311
00:14:07,281 --> 00:14:09,326
with your moronic idea.
312
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:10,284
What?
313
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,900
I ordered room service.
314
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:19,641
Are you hungry?
315
00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:20,337
Hungry for you.
316
00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:28,345
Kiss me, Mommy.
317
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:32,610
I mean Marnie, not Mommy.
318
00:14:32,654 --> 00:14:34,308
Uh-oh.
319
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,963
I can smell them from here.
320
00:14:37,006 --> 00:14:39,139
Don'’t stop.
321
00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:40,096
I'’ll never stop.
322
00:14:49,845 --> 00:14:52,674
Tonight, I ask Mayor Ostrovsky
the tough questions.
323
00:14:52,717 --> 00:14:55,677
Why is she funneling city money
to the zoo?
324
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:59,855
Why does she conduct
city council meetings in a bar?
325
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:05,426
And why is her chief of staff a
Pomeranian named George Clooney?
326
00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:08,429
We'’ll find out when
I put the mayor on The Grill.
327
00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,126
[newsroom music]
328
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:12,912
[sizzling]
329
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:15,175
Your Honor, you know
how it works on The Grill.
330
00:15:15,218 --> 00:15:18,091
First question,
how do you respond to the rumors
331
00:15:18,134 --> 00:15:19,788
that you have to be
a single handsome man
332
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:20,963
to work in your office?
333
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:22,399
So?
334
00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:26,273
Your assistant is barely legal
and has big boobs.
335
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:27,622
That'’s my daughter.
336
00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:30,364
Lovely girl.
337
00:15:30,407 --> 00:15:32,235
Next question.
338
00:15:32,279 --> 00:15:35,978
Is it about how cute
I look in a tiger suit?
339
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,153
No, it is not.
340
00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:38,938
I despise cute things.
341
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:41,766
Ruh-roh.
342
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:42,985
Life isn'’t cute,
Your Honor,
343
00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,987
and I don'’t like my emotions
manipulated.
344
00:15:45,031 --> 00:15:47,294
This show
is not about appearances.
345
00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:51,515
It is about the dark,
ugly reality underneath.
346
00:15:51,559 --> 00:15:54,083
- Who hurt you?
- What?
347
00:15:54,127 --> 00:15:55,128
What? Nobody hurt me.
348
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:56,956
What are you talking about?
349
00:15:56,999 --> 00:15:59,828
Was it your mom or your dad?
350
00:15:59,871 --> 00:16:03,658
Which one named you Arnold?
351
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,355
You don'’t grill me.
I grill you.
352
00:16:05,399 --> 00:16:07,357
It was your dad, right?
353
00:16:07,401 --> 00:16:10,447
Wrong. I didn'’t have a dad.
354
00:16:10,491 --> 00:16:13,102
I mean, there were a series
of men that I had to call "dad,"
355
00:16:13,146 --> 00:16:15,626
but back to you, Your Honor.
356
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,541
Wow, that must have been hard.
357
00:16:17,585 --> 00:16:19,804
It wasn'’t easy.
358
00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:22,503
I mean, one guy was
only six years older than me.
359
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:26,811
My mom lost her job
as a teacher because of him.
360
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:32,208
Why'’d my best friend pay
for my daughter'’s boob job?
361
00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:35,037
Those are all good questions,
Arnie,
362
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,909
but it looks like
we'’re running out of time.
363
00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:40,651
Oh, yeah, we are.
364
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:43,611
I'’ll see you tomorrow
on The Grill.
365
00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:45,439
[newsroom music]
366
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:48,224
[sizzling]
367
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:49,617
Tiger hug?
368
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:53,186
Yes.
369
00:16:53,229 --> 00:16:55,144
So soft.
370
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:57,016
So soft.
371
00:16:57,059 --> 00:16:59,801
Why were you wearing
my mother'’s perfume?
372
00:16:59,844 --> 00:17:01,803
You ruined my kiss acting.
373
00:17:01,846 --> 00:17:03,544
Well, you wore Old Spice.
374
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:06,721
It was like doing a love scene
with my father.
375
00:17:06,763 --> 00:17:08,201
I never put on Old Spice.
376
00:17:08,243 --> 00:17:10,855
Well, I never wore Shalimar--
377
00:17:13,205 --> 00:17:16,252
Sabotage.
378
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:20,996
Lucci.
379
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,867
No, it was me.
380
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:27,394
[Victoria]
[gasping] Melanie.
381
00:17:27,436 --> 00:17:31,224
I'’m so sorry, but the rest of
your performance was grrrreat!
382
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:39,536
Aw, she'’s doing
what a tiger does.
383
00:17:39,580 --> 00:17:42,409
See, I have the suit on, so
you can'’t be mad at me, right?
384
00:17:42,452 --> 00:17:44,802
Oh, yes, we can.
385
00:17:44,846 --> 00:17:47,414
That whole play
was based on sexual chemistry,
386
00:17:47,457 --> 00:17:49,111
and you ruined it.
387
00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:52,114
[phones beep]
388
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,595
Oh, no.
The reviews are in.
389
00:17:54,638 --> 00:17:56,249
Hang on.
390
00:17:56,292 --> 00:17:57,815
The Plain Dealersays,
391
00:17:57,859 --> 00:17:59,121
"Open a window '’cause
392
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:00,818
these two are hot."
393
00:18:00,862 --> 00:18:02,255
[Dane]
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
394
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:05,910
"Victoria Chase and Dane Stevens
are a revelation.
395
00:18:05,954 --> 00:18:08,696
Their decision
not to kiss was genius."
396
00:18:08,739 --> 00:18:09,827
We did it!
397
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:13,135
Of course we did.
We'’re geniuses.
398
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,920
You'’re the genius, Victoria.
399
00:18:15,964 --> 00:18:18,358
I'’ve never met a more amazing
person in my life.
400
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:21,056
Aw.
401
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:25,539
So glad I put the suit on.
402
00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,410
Joy, we'’re a hit.
403
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:28,716
Congratulations.
404
00:18:28,759 --> 00:18:30,152
Joy, where are you going?
405
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:33,068
Over to Bob'’s house
to beg forgiveness.
406
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:34,635
I treated him
like my other boyfriends,
407
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:36,854
and he'’s not.
408
00:18:36,898 --> 00:18:39,074
He was only lying about a movie,
409
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:42,295
wasn'’t cheating on me
or secretly living in my car
410
00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:45,602
for a month
like other guys have.
411
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,561
Wish me luck.
412
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:55,569
Bob.
413
00:18:55,612 --> 00:18:58,311
[romantic piano ballad playing]
414
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:06,362
♪
415
00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:35,435
Oh, Bob.
416
00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:50,885
And it turns out
there was a Broadway producer
417
00:19:50,928 --> 00:19:52,147
in the audience who saw me,
418
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,409
and he offered me a play.
419
00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:54,976
Wow, that'’s great.
420
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:56,847
So you'’re going to New York.
421
00:19:56,891 --> 00:19:59,415
Yeah, and I'’ve got to get
in really good shape
422
00:19:59,459 --> 00:20:02,462
because I'’m doing a nude scene
with what'’s her name, Angela--
423
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:05,726
Lansbury?
424
00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:07,858
No, that wasn'’t it,
425
00:20:07,902 --> 00:20:10,034
but I'’ve got to be to New York
by tomorrow morning,
426
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,862
so I'’d better go pack.
427
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:15,823
Well, if you'’re gonna be nude,
you don'’t have to pack much.
428
00:20:15,866 --> 00:20:19,435
Once again, Melanie, you'’re
forgetting how acting works.
429
00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:20,915
Well, good luck.
430
00:20:20,958 --> 00:20:22,569
I'’m really happy for you.
431
00:20:22,612 --> 00:20:23,570
I'’ll text you
when I get there.
432
00:20:23,613 --> 00:20:24,788
That sounds perfect.
433
00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:26,486
Hey.
434
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,488
How much longer are you gonna
need that suit?
435
00:20:28,531 --> 00:20:29,706
Why?
436
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:32,056
Somebody egged
the Mayor of Cincinnati.
437
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,841
I need it for the lineup.
438
00:20:40,630 --> 00:20:42,284
[upbeat music]
439
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,243
♪ Ba-ba, Ba-ba
440
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,332
♪ Ba-ba, Ba-ba
441
00:20:46,375 --> 00:20:51,772
♪
442
00:20:51,815 --> 00:20:53,643
♪ Ba-ba, Ba-ba
443
00:20:53,687 --> 00:20:55,906
♪ Ba-ba, Ba-ba
444
00:20:55,950 --> 00:21:02,261
♪
445
00:21:04,393 --> 00:21:05,394
♪ Hey!
31699
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