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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:03,264 Melanie: Previously on Hot In Cleveland. 2 00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:05,483 The mayor is dead 3 00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:08,486 in my bed! 4 00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:11,924 So we sneak the mayor'’s body back to his mansion, 5 00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,883 put him back in his own bed, 6 00:00:13,926 --> 00:00:16,668 and then everyone thinks he died peacefully in his sleep. 7 00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,801 It really looks like he died in his sleep, 8 00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,150 and that'’s what people will think. 9 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:21,891 Yeah. 10 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,632 Ashley: Ted, you'’re never going to cheat on me again! 11 00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:25,808 [gunshots] 12 00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:28,854 Oh, God. 13 00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:30,508 She shot the mayor. 14 00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:33,033 Technically, I'’m the mayor. 15 00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:37,428 Dead mayor. People are gonna want answers. 16 00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,996 Let'’s hope the acting mayor can handle the pressure. 17 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,389 Chief Barker. 18 00:00:41,432 --> 00:00:42,912 Your Honor. 19 00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,435 We would have been here sooner, 20 00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,263 but it took us a while to find the mayor'’s bedroom, 21 00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:47,786 '’cause, you know, we'’ve never actually 22 00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:48,961 been in the mayor'’s bedroom. 23 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:51,964 So why would we? 24 00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,749 Okay, let me fill you in. 25 00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,360 The mayor died of natural causes. 26 00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,623 But evidence indicates that the body was moved. 27 00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:01,974 Well, it happens. 28 00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:05,587 Not really. 29 00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,719 And even more strange, the mayor was untouched, 30 00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,069 but there are three bullet holes 31 00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,679 fired into the pillow next to him. 32 00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:12,202 Which is probably a way bigger crime 33 00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:13,377 than moving a body, which is something 34 00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:14,987 that could happen almost by accident, 35 00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:17,251 so I'’d concentrate on those bullet holes. 36 00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:19,340 We'’re concentrating on all of it. 37 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,211 Well, the mayor would like outside investigators. 38 00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:23,126 She feels we should handle this discreetly, 39 00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,997 so as not to cause a major scandal. 40 00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:26,521 And we already have some people in mind. 41 00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:30,220 They are thorough and smart and very discreet. 42 00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,743 These guys sound good. 43 00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,527 They'’re damn good. 44 00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,225 [camera shutter snapping] 45 00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:37,532 The client is Elka Ostrovsky. 46 00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:41,840 Yesterday Mayor Deacon died in Elka'’s bed. 47 00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,756 With a smile on his face. 48 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,368 Just saying. 49 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:50,197 The body was moved back to the mayor'’s residence 50 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,372 with the help of Melanie Moretti. 51 00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:56,158 No, no, no, you can'’t use that picture! 52 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:59,293 It'’s a publicity still from your radio show, it'’s fine. 53 00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,817 It is not fine. Everyone else looks cool. 54 00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:05,734 And I look like they shrunk me and gave me a 30-year-old phone. 55 00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:07,692 Forget the photo, Melanie. 56 00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:10,086 We have a scandal here that Elka can'’t be tied to. 57 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,870 This is a serious matter. 58 00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,655 And speaking of serious, 59 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:16,571 last night Joy Scroggs and Bob Moore 60 00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:20,488 seriously professed their love for one another. 61 00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,446 Oh, Bob. 62 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,796 We were called in on this case right away 63 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,841 and haven'’t had time for our first kiss yet. 64 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,974 We were waiting for the perfect moment. 65 00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,150 Well, that is just so sweet. 66 00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:31,760 First kisses are so important. 67 00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,414 Oh, they set the tone for the entire relationship. 68 00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,589 [all talking at once] 69 00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:39,202 Hey, hey, hey! 70 00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:42,423 My next kiss could be with a prison guard. 71 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,775 In exchange for cigarettes. 72 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,998 As hot as that sounds, Elka is right. 73 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:55,523 And there'’s one other player we have to deal with in this saga. 74 00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:57,438 Meet Dane Stevens. 75 00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,135 He'’s a reporter that's been nosing around the mayor'’s place, 76 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,789 asking a lot of questions. 77 00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:03,444 Now one of you is gonna have to use your feminine wiles 78 00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:07,491 to get him off the scent. 79 00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:09,667 Joy, really? 80 00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,103 I'’ll do it. 81 00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:12,540 I'’ll call him and set up a meeting. 82 00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:13,845 Well, it makes sense that you'’d call. 83 00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,761 You'’re the one with the big phone. 84 00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,154 All right, now, there'’s something else 85 00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,243 that needs our immediate attention. 86 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:24,508 This glamorous, Oscar-winning woman is in trouble. 87 00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:28,033 Now HBO wants to test my show today in Cleveland. 88 00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:29,383 And if it doesn'’t test well, 89 00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:31,559 then they may decide not to air it. 90 00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:33,691 And if I weren'’t so concerned about Elka, 91 00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,824 I'’d be down there right now trying to sway the vote. 92 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:38,653 But I'’m needed here to-- 93 00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,090 What am I doing? 94 00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,745 Nothing. 95 00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,834 Bless you, Elka. 96 00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:48,402 Okay, here'’s the plan. 97 00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,099 Bob and I will break into the morgue 98 00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:52,406 and clean any evidence off the mayor. 99 00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:55,322 I'’m assuming there's some of your DNA on his body? 100 00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:57,237 And glitter. 101 00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:01,066 Which leaves us with one loose end. 102 00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:03,155 Who shot the mayor'’s pillow? 103 00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,418 We'’ve done a little digging, 104 00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:05,941 and we now know that in addition to Elka, 105 00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,899 the mayor was sleeping with two other women. 106 00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:10,641 This is Miss Shonda, 107 00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:14,776 an astrologist the mayor was consulting. 108 00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,255 We don'’t know who this is, 109 00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,082 but we have this surveillance photo of her 110 00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,521 leaving the mayor'’s house at an earlier date. 111 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,653 We need to find out which of these mistresses 112 00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,438 is the shooter 113 00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,614 and if she knows anything about Elka. 114 00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,137 You know, as a private detective 115 00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,878 I'’m trained to look for patterns in behavior, 116 00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,706 but I'’m baffled. 117 00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,360 If he was sleeping with her, 118 00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:36,101 why would he wanna sleep with... 119 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:44,022 her? 120 00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:46,895 You, I totally get. 121 00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:49,506 Okay, so we all know our assignments. 122 00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,725 Yes, I'’ll call the hot journalist. 123 00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,335 We'’ll take care of the mayor'’s body. 124 00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,728 I'’ll deal with the mistresses. 125 00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:56,252 And I'’ll call the hot journalist. 126 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,688 You already said that. 127 00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,603 I know, but I really like my assignment. 128 00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:04,304 [upbeat music] 129 00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:06,871 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba 130 00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:09,526 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba 131 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,789 ♪ Hey! 132 00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,487 There'’s the mayor. 133 00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,360 Oh, Joy. 134 00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,622 What? 135 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:21,146 You look beautiful in this morgue light. 136 00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:23,888 You'’re so sweet. 137 00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:26,282 Hey, we'’re finally alone 138 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,503 in a quiet, romantically-lit place. 139 00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:31,069 Maybe we could-- 140 00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:34,421 [screams] 141 00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,858 Yeah, maybe this isn'’t the best place. 142 00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,816 When we look back on our first kiss, 143 00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:41,297 I don'’t want to remember doing it over the corpse of a man 144 00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,256 Elka killed during sex. 145 00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,736 Besides, we got a lot of work to do. 146 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:48,609 You'’re right. 147 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:52,221 Well, she wasn'’t lying about the glitter. 148 00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:56,399 You were the mayor'’s astrologist? 149 00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:57,531 I was. 150 00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:05,103 I heard you kept his Sagittarius rising. 151 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,889 Fine, I slept with him. 152 00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:11,545 But he said that he had never been with any woman 153 00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,721 as beautiful as me. 154 00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:18,073 Oh, let'’s just stick with the facts here. 155 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,727 Where were you last night? 156 00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:20,858 At church. 157 00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:23,121 Any witnesses? 158 00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:26,647 I sang my testimony for about 300 people. 159 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,126 Are you any good? 160 00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:33,436 ♪ Amazing 161 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,786 ♪ Grace 162 00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:39,703 ♪ How sweet 163 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:44,229 ♪ The sound 164 00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,976 Don'’t quit your day job. 165 00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:00,594 Ah, how'’s the testing going? 166 00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,291 They just started discussing your show. 167 00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,336 You wanna listen? 168 00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:05,860 [man] I really enjoyed it. 169 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,470 I especially loved Victoria Chase. 170 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:08,906 [woman] I thought she was wonderful. 171 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:11,474 Why have I been ignoring people from Cleveland? 172 00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,520 They'’re geniuses. 173 00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,130 [Ashley] I thought it was terrible. 174 00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,957 Bad dialogue and even worse acting. 175 00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:20,222 I can'’t believe I watched the same show as you people. 176 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:21,353 What? 177 00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:22,964 What'’s happening? 178 00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,879 Don'’t worry, there's always a negative voice. 179 00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,489 It'’ll be okay as long as she doesn'’t influence the others. 180 00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:27,707 You know, on second thought, 181 00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:29,449 the dialogue was pretty terrible. 182 00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,755 Yeah, I'’d like to change my vote too. 183 00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:34,758 We have got to stop that woman. 184 00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,804 [camera shutter clicking] 185 00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,675 Thank you again for meeting with me, Mr. Stevens. 186 00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,590 Let'’s cut to the chase. 187 00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,418 The mayor'’s dead, there'’s a bigger story here, 188 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,811 and you'’re gonna give it to me. 189 00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,987 A 72-year-old man died of a heart attack. 190 00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:47,554 There is no story here. 191 00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:49,730 Are you sure? 192 00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,558 Yes. 193 00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:54,517 And you'’re not covering anything up? 194 00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,432 No. 195 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,393 Darn! 196 00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:03,961 What? 197 00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:07,008 That'’s all the questions I had. 198 00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:10,533 I'’m definitely gonna get fired. 199 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,056 Why? 200 00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,015 I used to be a great journalist. 201 00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:16,060 At least my old editor thought so. 202 00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:18,889 It was compliments, like, all the time. 203 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,238 Now my new editor'’s like, 204 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,457 "Check your facts! 205 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,806 "Get sources! 206 00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:26,331 Put your shirt on!" 207 00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,942 Wild guess. 208 00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:30,553 Your old editor was a woman, your new editor is a man. 209 00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:33,469 Wow, beautiful and smart. 210 00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,471 Oh. 211 00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,126 You. 212 00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:41,607 Listen, I would just love to help you, 213 00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:44,567 but the mayor died of natural causes. 214 00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,917 You know, no scandal, no mistresses. 215 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,441 Mistresses, I wouldn'’t have thought of that. 216 00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:50,878 No, no, no. No, no mistresses. 217 00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,836 There'’s the story. Thanks, Melanie. 218 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,316 But wait! 219 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:57,667 I said no mistresses! 220 00:08:57,711 --> 00:09:00,844 Oh, damn it, Melanie! 221 00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,760 Now you'’re just beautiful. 222 00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:06,023 We have a new problem. 223 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:09,113 Somebody blabbed to the press about the mistresses. 224 00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:16,468 Who'’s that? 225 00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:17,992 That'’s me! 226 00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:19,863 I replaced my picture. 227 00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:23,519 It'’s from a few years ago, but it'’s obviously still me. 228 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,608 Could we write "Melanie" on that, 229 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,479 so we'’ll know who it is? 230 00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:34,617 Anyway, all the other teams did well. 231 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,619 Bob and I cleaned up the mayor'’s body, 232 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:39,883 and Elka eliminated the astrologist as a suspect. 233 00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:42,320 Yes, and since the astrologist wasn'’t there, 234 00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:44,061 we know that this is the woman who fired the shots. 235 00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:46,455 We need to find her. 236 00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:47,674 Ashley: And another thing, 237 00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:49,197 the premise is totally unbelievable. 238 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,286 Ugh, she'’s been going on like this for an hour. 239 00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,723 Can'’t we get her thrown out? 240 00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:57,161 Sorry, that'’s the way these things go sometimes. 241 00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:58,554 One bad apple can kill a show. 242 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,605 Murderer. 243 00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:12,394 [camera shutter clicking] 244 00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,614 Okay, we found out the shooter'’s name. 245 00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:16,354 It'’s Ashley Dreyer. 246 00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:17,791 We traced her cell. 247 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,880 She'’s currently at 42 Park Drive. 248 00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:21,446 Somebody'’s gotta go talk to her. 249 00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,447 I'’ll do it. 250 00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:23,884 We'’ll be two model types 251 00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:27,627 talking about the man we shared. 252 00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,150 I wanna come too. 253 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:30,455 If I can my Fitbit up to 20,000 steps, 254 00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:33,023 I get an extra glass of wine. 255 00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:35,939 Oh, no, my Fitbit, it'’s gone! 256 00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:38,202 What if I lost it at the mayor'’s house? 257 00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:39,769 Well, that'’s okay. You were there this morning. 258 00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:40,944 Say you lost it then. 259 00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,206 No, no, no, I got the fancy one 260 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,207 that tracks every place you'’ve been 261 00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:44,469 and when you'’ve been there. 262 00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:45,862 It'’ll show that I was there last night. 263 00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:47,385 Which will implicate you in a crime. 264 00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,213 Or worse! 265 00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:51,651 I haven'’t gotten credit for any of my steps all day! 266 00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:56,133 All right, everyone, let'’s take lunch. 267 00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:59,528 We'’ll watch another episode in an hour. 268 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:04,968 Victoria Chase? 269 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:07,797 Oh, don'’t you "Victoria Chase" me. 270 00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,190 I know what you did. 271 00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,539 You'’re a murderer. 272 00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:11,888 How do you know about that? 273 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:12,976 I watched you through the window. 274 00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,848 I saw every shot you took. 275 00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:17,502 Oh, my gosh, I only did it because I was jealous. 276 00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,548 Well, I get that. 277 00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:21,071 But I'’ll make you a deal. 278 00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,726 You convince people to give my show a good review, 279 00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,598 and I'’ll forget that I ever saw anything. 280 00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:27,687 That'’s it? 281 00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,167 Hmm. 282 00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:31,299 What are you doing here? 283 00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,040 Well, what are you doing here? 284 00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,520 I'’m here to see her. 285 00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:37,087 I know what you did. 286 00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:40,308 Does everybody know what I did? 287 00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:43,050 She'’s the other mistress. She shot the mayor. 288 00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,704 What? 289 00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,314 What were you talking about? 290 00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,751 That. 291 00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:51,406 I can'’t lie anymore. 292 00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:52,755 Not about the murder. 293 00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,976 Not about Victoria'’s show being good. 294 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:58,195 I'’m just gonna go to the police and confess. 295 00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,762 Just take it easy. 296 00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,417 Now, there'’s no need to get the police involved. 297 00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:05,028 The truth is you didn'’t kill the mayor. 298 00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,638 Elka gave him a heart attack. 299 00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:08,771 In bed. 300 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:12,644 He died doing someone he loved. 301 00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,646 So it'’s agreed, 302 00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:16,344 we won'’t tell the police that you were the shooter, 303 00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,041 and you will keep your mouth closed 304 00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:19,521 about Elka and the mayor'’s relationship. 305 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:20,827 Done. 306 00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:24,961 Oh, you two with the same man. 307 00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:28,922 And yet my show is unbelievable. 308 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:32,926 Oh, my God. 309 00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,058 What? Did you find my Fitbit? 310 00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:39,540 I just looked at Joy, and I can'’t believe I'm with her. 311 00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:42,109 So no, you did not find it. 312 00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:45,155 Oh, Bob, I'’m so lucky. 313 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,678 Let'’s have that first kiss. 314 00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:47,767 Not now. 315 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,507 Why? 316 00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,118 Well, we both want our first kiss to be perfect, 317 00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:54,338 and right now I-- I feel fat. 318 00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,949 I ate a donut. I wasn'’t even hungry. 319 00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:59,039 I--I hate myself. I'’m hideous. 320 00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,521 You'’re beating yourself up over one donut. 321 00:13:03,565 --> 00:13:05,480 Did I leave out the word "dozen"? 322 00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:08,962 Hello, Melanie. 323 00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,485 Dane, how did you get in here? 324 00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:13,009 This is a sealed crime scene. No press allowed. 325 00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:15,055 I know, but the policewoman at the door 326 00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:18,188 patted me down a few times and let me right in. 327 00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:19,799 What are you doing here? 328 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,323 Well, um, I'’m here to, um, 329 00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:25,108 prepare the room for the next acting mayor, 330 00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,807 and these are the decorators. 331 00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:30,418 Yes, I'’m a decorator, 332 00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:33,638 you handsome guy, you. 333 00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,466 You'’re gay? 334 00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:37,381 I thought I just heard you talking about kissing her. 335 00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:38,905 Well, I'’m straight for joy. 336 00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,951 I'’m just gay for design. 337 00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:47,000 We became a couple last night, 338 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,002 but we haven'’t had our first kiss yet. 339 00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:50,481 You don'’t plan your first kiss. 340 00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,440 You take it. 341 00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:04,539 That is how you kiss a woman. 342 00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,454 Yes. 343 00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,935 Yes, it is. 344 00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,980 Well, I was hoping that there was a story here, 345 00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:15,028 but if there was I guess you guys would have found it. 346 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,638 If my writing career were a sentence, 347 00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:22,426 this would be that dot thing at the end of it. 348 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:25,038 Dane, I'’m sure you're a terrific journalist. 349 00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,909 Just find something that interests you 350 00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,650 and then write about that. 351 00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:29,912 Thanks, Melanie. 352 00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,566 It means a lot that you believe in me. 353 00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:34,308 Yes, well, that was a really great kiss. 354 00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,745 It was, wasn'’t it? 355 00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,226 Hey, what is this? 356 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:41,445 Well, looks like somebody'’s Fitbit. 357 00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:42,925 That'’s mine! My Fitbit. 358 00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:48,017 I dropped it when I was legitimately here. 359 00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:50,498 Wait. Legitimately here? 360 00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:55,633 Why is everything you say so darn cute? 361 00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,638 [camera shutter clicking] 362 00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:02,336 Well, we'’ve cleaned the body of Elka'’s DNA, 363 00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,990 silenced the witnesses, 364 00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,427 and there'’s no incriminating evidence at the crime scene. 365 00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,864 The fixers have fixed it. 366 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,648 - Yes. - Thank goodness. 367 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,999 One might say that now is the perfect moment 368 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,348 for a kiss. 369 00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:15,218 One might. 370 00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,658 Hold on! 371 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,096 I know that you were having an affair with the mayor 372 00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:25,533 and that you two moved the body. 373 00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,535 Oh, come on! 374 00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,889 [camera shutter clicking] 375 00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,673 The mayor died of natural causes. 376 00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:38,154 You said you weren'’t chasing this story anymore. 377 00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:39,634 I wasn'’t. 378 00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:41,853 But Melanie gave me some good advice. 379 00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,986 She told me to find something I'’m interested in. 380 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:47,685 And unfortunately, I'’m interested in her. 381 00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,687 Really? 382 00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:52,560 He said "unfortunately," Melanie. 383 00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:56,520 I found out you recently filed a complaint 384 00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,174 with the police against your neighbor'’s kid 385 00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,610 and his camera drone. 386 00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:01,090 I looked at his pictures, 387 00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:03,745 and while most of them were of Melanie naked... 388 00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,747 Oh, my God. 389 00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:08,706 And? 390 00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,795 You have a gorgeous body. 391 00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,363 Agreed. 392 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:14,495 Bob! 393 00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:16,540 If you like curves. Blegh, no! 394 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:21,110 Straight up and down for me, thank you. 395 00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,895 But there was a shot of the mayor going into Elka'’s house. 396 00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:26,811 So? We were seeing each other. 397 00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:28,161 And there was another shot of you and Melanie 398 00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:29,901 dragging a rolled-up rug 399 00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:32,078 with the mayor'’s foot sticking out of one end. 400 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,254 Would you believe foreplay? 401 00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:40,521 What are you planning on doing with this information? 402 00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:42,827 Well, if I cared about the law, I'’d call the police. 403 00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:45,047 If I cared about my job, I'’d write the story. 404 00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:48,442 But right now, I only care about you. 405 00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,705 Oh, Dane. 406 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:53,142 Well, if Dane could find these photos, 407 00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,318 sooner or later the police are gonna find them too. 408 00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:56,928 We need a plan. 409 00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,495 Bob'’s right. 410 00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:01,498 There'’s only one thing to do. 411 00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:04,284 And that'’s the whole story. 412 00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,286 So the body-dragging, the shooting, 413 00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:08,330 the cover-up, that was all you? 414 00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,246 No one else here was involved? 415 00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,291 No one else here is smart enough. 416 00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:19,646 I believe that. 417 00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,257 But you realize I'’m going to have to arrest you 418 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,172 and take you downtown. 419 00:17:23,215 --> 00:17:24,826 Oh, my God! 420 00:17:24,868 --> 00:17:28,047 My HBO show is gonna air. 421 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,832 I'’m sorry for this interruption, 422 00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:33,965 but, you know, during this terrible tragedy 423 00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:37,839 isn'’t it nice that we can all have some good news? 424 00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,928 Are you ready to go, Your Honor? 425 00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:41,234 I'’m ready. 426 00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:42,974 Bob, what can we do? 427 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,628 Well, on Scandal Olivia Pope 428 00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,282 would always make a speech and save the day. 429 00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:48,110 That'’s so implausible. 430 00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:51,418 Yeah, but it just might work. 431 00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,420 Elka'’s ready, Chief, but are you ready? 432 00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,639 Are you ready to give up the sun? 433 00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:57,902 Yes, you could throw this woman in jail 434 00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:59,469 for a victimless crime. 435 00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:01,036 But the second you book her, 436 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,690 this crime does have a victim: 437 00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,213 the city of Cleveland. 438 00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:07,738 Let me paint a picture of the dark days that lay ahead. 439 00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:10,306 You arrest her, and the seamy details 440 00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,787 become national news and Cleveland becomes a joke. 441 00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:16,095 Again. 442 00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,139 Remember what they used to call us, 443 00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,488 "The Mistake by the Lake"? 444 00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:19,707 "Burnt River City"? 445 00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,797 "Crap Town." 446 00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,147 But Cleveland can'’t survive a scandal like this. 447 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,541 One mayor dies in a secret love nest, 448 00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,630 the next mayor tries to cover it up. 449 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:33,024 Before you know it, we'’re Cincinnati. 450 00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:40,206 And Cleveland'’s time in the sun, well, it'’s over. 451 00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,470 I love this town. 452 00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:48,518 The official word will be that Ted Deacon 453 00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,216 died alone in his bed, in his home, 454 00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:51,913 of natural causes, 455 00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:54,133 as the proud mayor of this great city. 456 00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,613 - Oh, thank you, Chief. - Oh, that'’s fantastic. 457 00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:58,354 I could write that story. 458 00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,313 And I could kiss this man. 459 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,536 Hey, who'’s that girl in the red sweater? 460 00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,289 So where do we go from here? 461 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,378 Well, I did propose to you. 462 00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,380 You could accept this time. 463 00:19:24,424 --> 00:19:25,642 Not yet. 464 00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,078 If this is the real thing, 465 00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:29,559 I want ours to be a real courtship. 466 00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,170 All right. 467 00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,954 Let'’s talk about our first date. 468 00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:34,129 Hmm, it should be romantic. 469 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,261 Mm-hmm. 470 00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,045 But not sex that night. 471 00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:41,180 Maybe no sex for lots of nights. 472 00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,486 Because I'’ve slept with so many men on the first date 473 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:47,011 just for the physical gratification. 474 00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:49,623 Uh-huh. 475 00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:52,365 I mean, I'’d hop into the sack instantly, 476 00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:54,541 do anyone and anything 477 00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:57,152 just because it felt great. 478 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,937 And then wake up feeling horrible the next day. 479 00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:03,680 But with you, I don'’t want that. 480 00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,988 Do not want that. 481 00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,946 And sure, 482 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:11,471 the thrill of discovering a new lover'’s body, 483 00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:14,343 of finding new ways to pleasure a man 484 00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:16,258 was always exciting. 485 00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:17,781 But was anybody happy? 486 00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:24,527 I want things to be perfect with you, 487 00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:26,790 no matter how long it takes. 488 00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,662 I want it to be special. 489 00:20:28,705 --> 00:20:30,229 Yes. 490 00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:32,056 Special. 491 00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:42,284 [upbeat music] 492 00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,591 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba 493 00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:46,941 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba 494 00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:51,946 ♪ 495 00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:54,253 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba 496 00:20:54,296 --> 00:20:56,646 ♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba 497 00:20:56,690 --> 00:21:04,480 ♪ 498 00:21:04,524 --> 00:21:06,874 ♪ Hey! 35214

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