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00:00:02,567 --> 00:00:03,264
Melanie: Previously on
Hot In Cleveland.
2
00:00:03,307 --> 00:00:05,483
The mayor is dead
3
00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:08,486
in my bed!
4
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:11,924
So we sneak the mayor'’s body
back to his mansion,
5
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:13,883
put him back
in his own bed,
6
00:00:13,926 --> 00:00:16,668
and then everyone thinks
he died peacefully in his sleep.
7
00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:18,801
It really looks like
he died in his sleep,
8
00:00:18,844 --> 00:00:20,150
and that'’s what
people will think.
9
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:21,891
Yeah.
10
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,632
Ashley: Ted, you'’re never
going to cheat on me again!
11
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:25,808
[gunshots]
12
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:28,854
Oh, God.
13
00:00:28,898 --> 00:00:30,508
She shot the mayor.
14
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:33,033
Technically, I'’m the mayor.
15
00:00:34,643 --> 00:00:37,428
Dead mayor.
People are gonna want answers.
16
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,996
Let'’s hope the acting mayor
can handle the pressure.
17
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,389
Chief Barker.
18
00:00:41,432 --> 00:00:42,912
Your Honor.
19
00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:44,435
We would have
been here sooner,
20
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,263
but it took us a while
to find the mayor'’s bedroom,
21
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:47,786
'’cause, you know,
we'’ve never actually
22
00:00:47,830 --> 00:00:48,961
been in the mayor'’s bedroom.
23
00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:51,964
So why would we?
24
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,749
Okay, let me fill you in.
25
00:00:53,792 --> 00:00:56,360
The mayor died
of natural causes.
26
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,623
But evidence indicates
that the body was moved.
27
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:01,974
Well, it happens.
28
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:05,587
Not really.
29
00:01:05,630 --> 00:01:07,719
And even more strange,
the mayor was untouched,
30
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,069
but there are
three bullet holes
31
00:01:09,112 --> 00:01:10,679
fired into
the pillow next to him.
32
00:01:10,722 --> 00:01:12,202
Which is probably
a way bigger crime
33
00:01:12,246 --> 00:01:13,377
than moving a body,
which is something
34
00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:14,987
that could happen
almost by accident,
35
00:01:15,031 --> 00:01:17,251
so I'’d concentrate
on those bullet holes.
36
00:01:17,294 --> 00:01:19,340
We'’re concentrating
on all of it.
37
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,211
Well, the mayor would like
outside investigators.
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00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:23,126
She feels we should handle
this discreetly,
39
00:01:23,170 --> 00:01:24,997
so as not to cause
a major scandal.
40
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:26,521
And we already have
some people in mind.
41
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:30,220
They are thorough and smart
and very discreet.
42
00:01:30,264 --> 00:01:31,743
These guys sound good.
43
00:01:31,787 --> 00:01:33,527
They'’re damn good.
44
00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:35,225
[camera shutter snapping]
45
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:37,532
The client is
Elka Ostrovsky.
46
00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:41,840
Yesterday Mayor Deacon
died in Elka'’s bed.
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00:01:41,884 --> 00:01:44,756
With a smile
on his face.
48
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:47,368
Just saying.
49
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:50,197
The body was moved back
to the mayor'’s residence
50
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,372
with the help
of Melanie Moretti.
51
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:56,158
No, no, no,
you can'’t use that picture!
52
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:59,293
It'’s a publicity still from
your radio show, it'’s fine.
53
00:01:59,336 --> 00:02:01,817
It is not fine.
Everyone else looks cool.
54
00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:05,734
And I look like they shrunk me
and gave me a 30-year-old phone.
55
00:02:05,777 --> 00:02:07,692
Forget the photo,
Melanie.
56
00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:10,086
We have a scandal here
that Elka can'’t be tied to.
57
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,870
This is a serious matter.
58
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,655
And speaking of serious,
59
00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:16,571
last night Joy Scroggs
and Bob Moore
60
00:02:16,614 --> 00:02:20,488
seriously professed
their love for one another.
61
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,446
Oh, Bob.
62
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,796
We were called in
on this case right away
63
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,841
and haven'’t had time
for our first kiss yet.
64
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,974
We were waiting
for the perfect moment.
65
00:02:29,018 --> 00:02:30,150
Well, that is just
so sweet.
66
00:02:30,193 --> 00:02:31,760
First kisses
are so important.
67
00:02:31,803 --> 00:02:33,414
Oh, they set the tone
for the entire relationship.
68
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,589
[all talking at once]
69
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:39,202
Hey, hey, hey!
70
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:42,423
My next kiss could be
with a prison guard.
71
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,775
In exchange
for cigarettes.
72
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,998
As hot as that sounds,
Elka is right.
73
00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:55,523
And there'’s one other player we
have to deal with in this saga.
74
00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:57,438
Meet Dane Stevens.
75
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:59,135
He'’s a reporter that's been
nosing around the mayor'’s place,
76
00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,789
asking a lot of questions.
77
00:03:00,832 --> 00:03:03,444
Now one of you is gonna have
to use your feminine wiles
78
00:03:03,487 --> 00:03:07,491
to get him off the scent.
79
00:03:07,535 --> 00:03:09,667
Joy, really?
80
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,103
I'’ll do it.
81
00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:12,540
I'’ll call him
and set up a meeting.
82
00:03:12,583 --> 00:03:13,845
Well, it makes sense
that you'’d call.
83
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,761
You'’re the one
with the big phone.
84
00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,154
All right, now,
there'’s something else
85
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:20,243
that needs our
immediate attention.
86
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:24,508
This glamorous, Oscar-winning
woman is in trouble.
87
00:03:24,552 --> 00:03:28,033
Now HBO wants to test
my show today in Cleveland.
88
00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:29,383
And if it doesn'’t test well,
89
00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:31,559
then they may decide
not to air it.
90
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:33,691
And if I weren'’t
so concerned about Elka,
91
00:03:33,735 --> 00:03:35,824
I'’d be down there right now
trying to sway the vote.
92
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:38,653
But I'’m needed here to--
93
00:03:38,696 --> 00:03:41,090
What am I doing?
94
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:43,745
Nothing.
95
00:03:43,788 --> 00:03:45,834
Bless you, Elka.
96
00:03:45,877 --> 00:03:48,402
Okay, here'’s the plan.
97
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,099
Bob and I
will break into the morgue
98
00:03:50,142 --> 00:03:52,406
and clean any evidence
off the mayor.
99
00:03:52,449 --> 00:03:55,322
I'’m assuming there's some
of your DNA on his body?
100
00:03:55,365 --> 00:03:57,237
And glitter.
101
00:03:59,064 --> 00:04:01,066
Which leaves us
with one loose end.
102
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:03,155
Who shot the mayor'’s pillow?
103
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,418
We'’ve done a little digging,
104
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:05,941
and we now know
that in addition to Elka,
105
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:07,899
the mayor was sleeping
with two other women.
106
00:04:07,943 --> 00:04:10,641
This is Miss Shonda,
107
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:14,776
an astrologist the mayor
was consulting.
108
00:04:14,819 --> 00:04:16,255
We don'’t know
who this is,
109
00:04:16,298 --> 00:04:18,082
but we have this surveillance
photo of her
110
00:04:18,127 --> 00:04:20,521
leaving the mayor'’s house
at an earlier date.
111
00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,653
We need to find out
which of these mistresses
112
00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,438
is the shooter
113
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,614
and if she knows
anything about Elka.
114
00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,137
You know,
as a private detective
115
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:29,878
I'’m trained to look
for patterns in behavior,
116
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,706
but I'’m baffled.
117
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,360
If he was sleeping
with her,
118
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:36,101
why would he wanna
sleep with...
119
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:44,022
her?
120
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:46,895
You, I totally get.
121
00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:49,506
Okay, so we all know
our assignments.
122
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,725
Yes, I'’ll call
the hot journalist.
123
00:04:50,768 --> 00:04:52,335
We'’ll take care
of the mayor'’s body.
124
00:04:52,379 --> 00:04:53,728
I'’ll deal
with the mistresses.
125
00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:56,252
And I'’ll call
the hot journalist.
126
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,688
You already said that.
127
00:04:57,732 --> 00:04:59,603
I know, but I really like
my assignment.
128
00:05:02,563 --> 00:05:04,304
[upbeat music]
129
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:06,871
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
130
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:09,526
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
131
00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:11,789
♪ Hey!
132
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,487
There'’s the mayor.
133
00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,360
Oh, Joy.
134
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,622
What?
135
00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:21,146
You look beautiful
in this morgue light.
136
00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:23,888
You'’re so sweet.
137
00:05:23,932 --> 00:05:26,282
Hey, we'’re finally alone
138
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,503
in a quiet,
romantically-lit place.
139
00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:31,069
Maybe we could--
140
00:05:31,113 --> 00:05:34,421
[screams]
141
00:05:34,464 --> 00:05:36,858
Yeah, maybe this isn'’t
the best place.
142
00:05:36,901 --> 00:05:38,816
When we look back
on our first kiss,
143
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:41,297
I don'’t want to remember doing
it over the corpse of a man
144
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:44,256
Elka killed during sex.
145
00:05:44,300 --> 00:05:45,736
Besides, we got
a lot of work to do.
146
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:48,609
You'’re right.
147
00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:52,221
Well, she wasn'’t lying
about the glitter.
148
00:05:53,744 --> 00:05:56,399
You were the mayor'’s
astrologist?
149
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:57,531
I was.
150
00:06:00,925 --> 00:06:05,103
I heard you kept
his Sagittarius rising.
151
00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:07,889
Fine, I slept with him.
152
00:06:07,932 --> 00:06:11,545
But he said that he had
never been with any woman
153
00:06:11,588 --> 00:06:13,721
as beautiful as me.
154
00:06:13,764 --> 00:06:18,073
Oh, let'’s just stick
with the facts here.
155
00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,727
Where were you last night?
156
00:06:19,770 --> 00:06:20,858
At church.
157
00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:23,121
Any witnesses?
158
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:26,647
I sang my testimony
for about 300 people.
159
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,126
Are you any good?
160
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:33,436
♪ Amazing
161
00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:35,786
♪ Grace
162
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:39,703
♪ How sweet
163
00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:44,229
♪ The sound
164
00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,976
Don'’t quit your day job.
165
00:06:58,026 --> 00:07:00,594
Ah, how'’s the testing going?
166
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,291
They just started
discussing your show.
167
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:04,336
You wanna listen?
168
00:07:04,380 --> 00:07:05,860
[man]
I really enjoyed it.
169
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,470
I especially loved
Victoria Chase.
170
00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:08,906
[woman]
I thought she was wonderful.
171
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:11,474
Why have I been ignoring
people from Cleveland?
172
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,520
They'’re geniuses.
173
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,130
[Ashley]
I thought it was terrible.
174
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,957
Bad dialogue
and even worse acting.
175
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:20,222
I can'’t believe I watched
the same show as you people.
176
00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:21,353
What?
177
00:07:21,397 --> 00:07:22,964
What'’s happening?
178
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:24,879
Don'’t worry, there's always
a negative voice.
179
00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:26,489
It'’ll be okay as long as she
doesn'’t influence the others.
180
00:07:26,533 --> 00:07:27,707
You know, on second thought,
181
00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:29,449
the dialogue
was pretty terrible.
182
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,755
Yeah, I'’d like
to change my vote too.
183
00:07:31,799 --> 00:07:34,758
We have got
to stop that woman.
184
00:07:34,802 --> 00:07:36,804
[camera shutter clicking]
185
00:07:36,847 --> 00:07:38,675
Thank you again for meeting
with me, Mr. Stevens.
186
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,590
Let'’s cut to the chase.
187
00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,418
The mayor'’s dead,
there'’s a bigger story here,
188
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,811
and you'’re gonna
give it to me.
189
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,987
A 72-year-old man
died of a heart attack.
190
00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:47,554
There is no story here.
191
00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:49,730
Are you sure?
192
00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,558
Yes.
193
00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:54,517
And you'’re not
covering anything up?
194
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,432
No.
195
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,393
Darn!
196
00:08:02,830 --> 00:08:03,961
What?
197
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:07,008
That'’s all
the questions I had.
198
00:08:08,749 --> 00:08:10,533
I'’m definitely
gonna get fired.
199
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,056
Why?
200
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:14,015
I used to be
a great journalist.
201
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:16,060
At least my old editor
thought so.
202
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:18,889
It was compliments,
like, all the time.
203
00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:20,238
Now my new editor'’s like,
204
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,457
"Check your facts!
205
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,806
"Get sources!
206
00:08:22,850 --> 00:08:26,331
Put your shirt on!"
207
00:08:26,375 --> 00:08:27,942
Wild guess.
208
00:08:27,985 --> 00:08:30,553
Your old editor was a woman,
your new editor is a man.
209
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:33,469
Wow, beautiful and smart.
210
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,471
Oh.
211
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:39,126
You.
212
00:08:39,169 --> 00:08:41,607
Listen, I would just
love to help you,
213
00:08:41,650 --> 00:08:44,567
but the mayor died
of natural causes.
214
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,917
You know, no scandal,
no mistresses.
215
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,441
Mistresses, I wouldn'’t
have thought of that.
216
00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:50,878
No, no, no.
No, no mistresses.
217
00:08:50,921 --> 00:08:52,836
There'’s the story.
Thanks, Melanie.
218
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,316
But wait!
219
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:57,667
I said no mistresses!
220
00:08:57,711 --> 00:09:00,844
Oh, damn it, Melanie!
221
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,760
Now you'’re just beautiful.
222
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:06,023
We have a new problem.
223
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:09,113
Somebody blabbed to the press
about the mistresses.
224
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:16,468
Who'’s that?
225
00:09:16,512 --> 00:09:17,992
That'’s me!
226
00:09:18,035 --> 00:09:19,863
I replaced my picture.
227
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:23,519
It'’s from a few years ago,
but it'’s obviously still me.
228
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,608
Could we write
"Melanie" on that,
229
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,479
so we'’ll know who it is?
230
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:34,617
Anyway, all the other teams
did well.
231
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,619
Bob and I cleaned up
the mayor'’s body,
232
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:39,883
and Elka eliminated
the astrologist as a suspect.
233
00:09:39,927 --> 00:09:42,320
Yes, and since
the astrologist wasn'’t there,
234
00:09:42,364 --> 00:09:44,061
we know that this is
the woman who fired the shots.
235
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:46,455
We need to find her.
236
00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:47,674
Ashley: And another thing,
237
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:49,197
the premise is totally
unbelievable.
238
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,286
Ugh, she'’s been going on
like this for an hour.
239
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,723
Can'’t we get her
thrown out?
240
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:57,161
Sorry, that'’s the way
these things go sometimes.
241
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:58,554
One bad apple
can kill a show.
242
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,605
Murderer.
243
00:10:10,174 --> 00:10:12,394
[camera shutter clicking]
244
00:10:12,437 --> 00:10:14,614
Okay, we found out
the shooter'’s name.
245
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:16,354
It'’s Ashley Dreyer.
246
00:10:16,398 --> 00:10:17,791
We traced her cell.
247
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:19,880
She'’s currently
at 42 Park Drive.
248
00:10:19,923 --> 00:10:21,446
Somebody'’s gotta
go talk to her.
249
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:22,447
I'’ll do it.
250
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:23,884
We'’ll be two model types
251
00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:27,627
talking about
the man we shared.
252
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,150
I wanna come too.
253
00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:30,455
If I can my Fitbit
up to 20,000 steps,
254
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:33,023
I get an extra glass
of wine.
255
00:10:33,067 --> 00:10:35,939
Oh, no, my Fitbit,
it'’s gone!
256
00:10:35,983 --> 00:10:38,202
What if I lost it
at the mayor'’s house?
257
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:39,769
Well, that'’s okay.
You were there this morning.
258
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:40,944
Say you lost it then.
259
00:10:40,988 --> 00:10:42,206
No, no, no,
I got the fancy one
260
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:43,207
that tracks
every place you'’ve been
261
00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:44,469
and when you'’ve been there.
262
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:45,862
It'’ll show that
I was there last night.
263
00:10:45,906 --> 00:10:47,385
Which will implicate you
in a crime.
264
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,213
Or worse!
265
00:10:49,257 --> 00:10:51,651
I haven'’t gotten credit
for any of my steps all day!
266
00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:56,133
All right, everyone,
let'’s take lunch.
267
00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:59,528
We'’ll watch another episode
in an hour.
268
00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:04,968
Victoria Chase?
269
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:07,797
Oh, don'’t you
"Victoria Chase" me.
270
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,190
I know what you did.
271
00:11:09,233 --> 00:11:10,539
You'’re a murderer.
272
00:11:10,582 --> 00:11:11,888
How do you know
about that?
273
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:12,976
I watched you
through the window.
274
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,848
I saw every shot
you took.
275
00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:17,502
Oh, my gosh, I only did it
because I was jealous.
276
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,548
Well, I get that.
277
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:21,071
But I'’ll make you a deal.
278
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,726
You convince people to give
my show a good review,
279
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,598
and I'’ll forget
that I ever saw anything.
280
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:27,687
That'’s it?
281
00:11:27,730 --> 00:11:30,167
Hmm.
282
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:31,299
What are you doing here?
283
00:11:31,342 --> 00:11:33,040
Well, what are you
doing here?
284
00:11:33,083 --> 00:11:35,520
I'’m here to see her.
285
00:11:35,564 --> 00:11:37,087
I know what you did.
286
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:40,308
Does everybody
know what I did?
287
00:11:40,351 --> 00:11:43,050
She'’s the other mistress.
She shot the mayor.
288
00:11:43,093 --> 00:11:44,704
What?
289
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:46,314
What were you talking about?
290
00:11:46,357 --> 00:11:48,751
That.
291
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:51,406
I can'’t lie anymore.
292
00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:52,755
Not about the murder.
293
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:55,976
Not about Victoria'’s show
being good.
294
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:58,195
I'’m just gonna go
to the police and confess.
295
00:11:58,239 --> 00:11:59,762
Just take it easy.
296
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:02,417
Now, there'’s no need
to get the police involved.
297
00:12:02,460 --> 00:12:05,028
The truth is
you didn'’t kill the mayor.
298
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:06,638
Elka gave him
a heart attack.
299
00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:08,771
In bed.
300
00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:12,644
He died doing someone
he loved.
301
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:14,646
So it'’s agreed,
302
00:12:14,690 --> 00:12:16,344
we won'’t tell the police
that you were the shooter,
303
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,041
and you will keep
your mouth closed
304
00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:19,521
about Elka and
the mayor'’s relationship.
305
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:20,827
Done.
306
00:12:20,870 --> 00:12:24,961
Oh, you two with
the same man.
307
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:28,922
And yet my show
is unbelievable.
308
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:32,926
Oh, my God.
309
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:35,058
What?
Did you find my Fitbit?
310
00:12:35,102 --> 00:12:39,540
I just looked at Joy, and
I can'’t believe I'm with her.
311
00:12:39,584 --> 00:12:42,109
So no,
you did not find it.
312
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:45,155
Oh, Bob,
I'’m so lucky.
313
00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,678
Let'’s have that first kiss.
314
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:47,767
Not now.
315
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,507
Why?
316
00:12:49,551 --> 00:12:51,118
Well, we both want
our first kiss to be perfect,
317
00:12:51,161 --> 00:12:54,338
and right now I--
I feel fat.
318
00:12:54,382 --> 00:12:55,949
I ate a donut.
I wasn'’t even hungry.
319
00:12:55,992 --> 00:12:59,039
I--I hate myself.
I'’m hideous.
320
00:13:00,867 --> 00:13:03,521
You'’re beating yourself up
over one donut.
321
00:13:03,565 --> 00:13:05,480
Did I leave out
the word "dozen"?
322
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:08,962
Hello, Melanie.
323
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,485
Dane, how did you
get in here?
324
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:13,009
This is a sealed crime scene.
No press allowed.
325
00:13:13,053 --> 00:13:15,055
I know, but the policewoman
at the door
326
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:18,188
patted me down a few times
and let me right in.
327
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:19,799
What are you doing here?
328
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,323
Well, um,
I'’m here to, um,
329
00:13:22,366 --> 00:13:25,108
prepare the room
for the next acting mayor,
330
00:13:25,152 --> 00:13:27,807
and these are
the decorators.
331
00:13:27,850 --> 00:13:30,418
Yes, I'’m a decorator,
332
00:13:30,461 --> 00:13:33,638
you handsome guy, you.
333
00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,466
You'’re gay?
334
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:37,381
I thought I just heard you
talking about kissing her.
335
00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:38,905
Well, I'’m straight for joy.
336
00:13:38,948 --> 00:13:41,951
I'’m just gay for design.
337
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:47,000
We became a couple
last night,
338
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,002
but we haven'’t had
our first kiss yet.
339
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:50,481
You don'’t plan
your first kiss.
340
00:13:50,525 --> 00:13:52,440
You take it.
341
00:14:01,057 --> 00:14:04,539
That is how
you kiss a woman.
342
00:14:04,582 --> 00:14:06,454
Yes.
343
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:08,935
Yes, it is.
344
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,980
Well, I was hoping that
there was a story here,
345
00:14:11,024 --> 00:14:15,028
but if there was I guess
you guys would have found it.
346
00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,638
If my writing career
were a sentence,
347
00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:22,426
this would be that dot thing
at the end of it.
348
00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:25,038
Dane, I'’m sure you're
a terrific journalist.
349
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,909
Just find something
that interests you
350
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,650
and then write about that.
351
00:14:28,693 --> 00:14:29,912
Thanks, Melanie.
352
00:14:29,956 --> 00:14:31,566
It means a lot
that you believe in me.
353
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:34,308
Yes, well, that was
a really great kiss.
354
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:36,745
It was,
wasn'’t it?
355
00:14:36,788 --> 00:14:39,226
Hey, what is this?
356
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:41,445
Well, looks like
somebody'’s Fitbit.
357
00:14:41,489 --> 00:14:42,925
That'’s mine!
My Fitbit.
358
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:48,017
I dropped it when I was
legitimately here.
359
00:14:48,061 --> 00:14:50,498
Wait.
Legitimately here?
360
00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:55,633
Why is everything you say
so darn cute?
361
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:00,638
[camera shutter clicking]
362
00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:02,336
Well, we'’ve cleaned
the body of Elka'’s DNA,
363
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:03,990
silenced the witnesses,
364
00:15:04,033 --> 00:15:06,427
and there'’s no incriminating
evidence at the crime scene.
365
00:15:06,470 --> 00:15:08,864
The fixers have fixed it.
366
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,648
- Yes.
- Thank goodness.
367
00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:12,999
One might say that now
is the perfect moment
368
00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:14,348
for a kiss.
369
00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:15,218
One might.
370
00:15:18,352 --> 00:15:20,658
Hold on!
371
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:23,096
I know that you were having
an affair with the mayor
372
00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:25,533
and that you two
moved the body.
373
00:15:25,576 --> 00:15:27,535
Oh, come on!
374
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:33,889
[camera shutter clicking]
375
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,673
The mayor died
of natural causes.
376
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:38,154
You said you weren'’t
chasing this story anymore.
377
00:15:38,198 --> 00:15:39,634
I wasn'’t.
378
00:15:39,677 --> 00:15:41,853
But Melanie gave me
some good advice.
379
00:15:41,897 --> 00:15:43,986
She told me to find something
I'’m interested in.
380
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:47,685
And unfortunately,
I'’m interested in her.
381
00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,687
Really?
382
00:15:49,731 --> 00:15:52,560
He said "unfortunately,"
Melanie.
383
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:56,520
I found out you recently
filed a complaint
384
00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,174
with the police
against your neighbor'’s kid
385
00:15:58,218 --> 00:15:59,610
and his camera drone.
386
00:15:59,654 --> 00:16:01,090
I looked at his pictures,
387
00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:03,745
and while most of them
were of Melanie naked...
388
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:05,747
Oh, my God.
389
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:08,706
And?
390
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:10,795
You have a gorgeous body.
391
00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:13,363
Agreed.
392
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:14,495
Bob!
393
00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:16,540
If you like curves.
Blegh, no!
394
00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:21,110
Straight up and down for me,
thank you.
395
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:23,895
But there was a shot of the
mayor going into Elka'’s house.
396
00:16:23,939 --> 00:16:26,811
So?
We were seeing each other.
397
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:28,161
And there was another shot
of you and Melanie
398
00:16:28,204 --> 00:16:29,901
dragging a rolled-up rug
399
00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:32,078
with the mayor'’s foot
sticking out of one end.
400
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,254
Would you believe foreplay?
401
00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:40,521
What are you planning on doing
with this information?
402
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:42,827
Well, if I cared about the law,
I'’d call the police.
403
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:45,047
If I cared about my job,
I'’d write the story.
404
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:48,442
But right now,
I only care about you.
405
00:16:48,485 --> 00:16:50,705
Oh, Dane.
406
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:53,142
Well, if Dane could find
these photos,
407
00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:55,318
sooner or later the police
are gonna find them too.
408
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:56,928
We need a plan.
409
00:16:56,972 --> 00:16:58,495
Bob'’s right.
410
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:01,498
There'’s only
one thing to do.
411
00:17:01,542 --> 00:17:04,284
And that'’s the whole story.
412
00:17:04,327 --> 00:17:06,286
So the body-dragging,
the shooting,
413
00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:08,330
the cover-up,
that was all you?
414
00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:10,246
No one else here
was involved?
415
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,291
No one else here
is smart enough.
416
00:17:15,991 --> 00:17:19,646
I believe that.
417
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,257
But you realize I'’m going
to have to arrest you
418
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:23,172
and take you downtown.
419
00:17:23,215 --> 00:17:24,826
Oh, my God!
420
00:17:24,868 --> 00:17:28,047
My HBO show is gonna air.
421
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:30,832
I'’m sorry
for this interruption,
422
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:33,965
but, you know,
during this terrible tragedy
423
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:37,839
isn'’t it nice that we can
all have some good news?
424
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,928
Are you ready to go,
Your Honor?
425
00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:41,234
I'’m ready.
426
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:42,974
Bob, what can we do?
427
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:44,628
Well, on Scandal
Olivia Pope
428
00:17:44,672 --> 00:17:46,282
would always make a speech
and save the day.
429
00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:48,110
That'’s so implausible.
430
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:51,418
Yeah, but it just might work.
431
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:53,420
Elka'’s ready, Chief,
but are you ready?
432
00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,639
Are you ready to give up
the sun?
433
00:17:55,683 --> 00:17:57,902
Yes, you could throw
this woman in jail
434
00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:59,469
for a victimless crime.
435
00:17:59,513 --> 00:18:01,036
But the second you book her,
436
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,690
this crime does have
a victim:
437
00:18:02,733 --> 00:18:04,213
the city of Cleveland.
438
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:07,738
Let me paint a picture
of the dark days that lay ahead.
439
00:18:07,782 --> 00:18:10,306
You arrest her,
and the seamy details
440
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,787
become national news
and Cleveland becomes a joke.
441
00:18:12,830 --> 00:18:16,095
Again.
442
00:18:16,138 --> 00:18:17,139
Remember what they
used to call us,
443
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,488
"The Mistake by the Lake"?
444
00:18:18,532 --> 00:18:19,707
"Burnt River City"?
445
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:22,797
"Crap Town."
446
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,147
But Cleveland can'’t survive
a scandal like this.
447
00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:27,541
One mayor dies
in a secret love nest,
448
00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,630
the next mayor
tries to cover it up.
449
00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:33,024
Before you know it,
we'’re Cincinnati.
450
00:18:35,766 --> 00:18:40,206
And Cleveland'’s time
in the sun, well, it'’s over.
451
00:18:42,033 --> 00:18:43,470
I love this town.
452
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:48,518
The official word
will be that Ted Deacon
453
00:18:48,562 --> 00:18:50,216
died alone in his bed,
in his home,
454
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:51,913
of natural causes,
455
00:18:51,956 --> 00:18:54,133
as the proud mayor
of this great city.
456
00:18:54,176 --> 00:18:56,613
- Oh, thank you, Chief.
- Oh, that'’s fantastic.
457
00:18:56,657 --> 00:18:58,354
I could write that story.
458
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,313
And I could kiss this man.
459
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,536
Hey, who'’s that girl
in the red sweater?
460
00:19:18,244 --> 00:19:20,289
So where do we go from here?
461
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,378
Well, I did propose to you.
462
00:19:22,422 --> 00:19:24,380
You could accept this time.
463
00:19:24,424 --> 00:19:25,642
Not yet.
464
00:19:25,686 --> 00:19:27,078
If this is the real thing,
465
00:19:27,122 --> 00:19:29,559
I want ours to be
a real courtship.
466
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,170
All right.
467
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,954
Let'’s talk about
our first date.
468
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:34,129
Hmm, it should be romantic.
469
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,261
Mm-hmm.
470
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:37,045
But not sex that night.
471
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:41,180
Maybe no sex
for lots of nights.
472
00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,486
Because I'’ve slept with
so many men on the first date
473
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:47,011
just for the physical
gratification.
474
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:49,623
Uh-huh.
475
00:19:49,666 --> 00:19:52,365
I mean, I'’d hop into
the sack instantly,
476
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:54,541
do anyone and anything
477
00:19:54,584 --> 00:19:57,152
just because it felt great.
478
00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:59,937
And then wake up feeling
horrible the next day.
479
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:03,680
But with you,
I don'’t want that.
480
00:20:03,724 --> 00:20:06,988
Do not want that.
481
00:20:07,031 --> 00:20:08,946
And sure,
482
00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:11,471
the thrill of discovering
a new lover'’s body,
483
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:14,343
of finding new ways
to pleasure a man
484
00:20:14,387 --> 00:20:16,258
was always exciting.
485
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:17,781
But was anybody happy?
486
00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:24,527
I want things
to be perfect with you,
487
00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:26,790
no matter how long it takes.
488
00:20:26,834 --> 00:20:28,662
I want it to be special.
489
00:20:28,705 --> 00:20:30,229
Yes.
490
00:20:30,272 --> 00:20:32,056
Special.
491
00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:42,284
[upbeat music]
492
00:20:42,328 --> 00:20:44,591
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
493
00:20:44,634 --> 00:20:46,941
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
494
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:51,946
♪
495
00:20:51,989 --> 00:20:54,253
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
496
00:20:54,296 --> 00:20:56,646
♪ Ba-ba, ba-ba
497
00:20:56,690 --> 00:21:04,480
♪
498
00:21:04,524 --> 00:21:06,874
♪ Hey!
35214
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