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1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:03,438
- hot in clevelandis recorded
2
00:00:03,481 --> 00:00:05,179
In front
Of a live studio audience.
3
00:00:07,833 --> 00:00:11,663
- well, something just fell
Off the handsome truck.
4
00:00:15,276 --> 00:00:16,712
- he is cute.
5
00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:21,717
- watch me zap that silver fox
With my blue lasers.
6
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:30,508
What the hell?
7
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:32,815
- wow, that's never happened
Before.
8
00:00:32,858 --> 00:00:34,077
- it's your fault.
9
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:37,254
I'm shrouded in spinster fog.
10
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:39,561
- elka, we are not spinsters.
11
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:41,954
We are sophisticated,
Desirable women
12
00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:44,566
With a million exciting things
Going on in our lives.
13
00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:48,048
Oh, look!
New coffee sleeves.
14
00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:49,788
And they have sayings on them.
15
00:00:49,832 --> 00:00:52,922
"Freedom comes
From self-reliance."
16
00:00:52,965 --> 00:00:54,576
You know, this coffee sleeve
Has a point.
17
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,839
I pay people to do everything
For me.
18
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:58,971
I mean, why did I pay 20 bucks
To get this button sewn on?
19
00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:02,192
- that's what I charge.
20
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,715
- I mean, I know
It's just a cup,
21
00:01:03,759 --> 00:01:05,891
But I was just telling
My radio listeners the other day
22
00:01:05,935 --> 00:01:08,459
That inspiration
Can come from anywhere.
23
00:01:08,503 --> 00:01:11,636
- mine says,
"Make your brilliance known."
24
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:16,206
Well, as it happens, cup,
My agent says a big sponsor
25
00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:19,644
Is looking to build a whole
Lifestyle website around me.
26
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:21,994
- like oprah and gwyneth's?
- exactly.
27
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:24,170
Now, it turns out
People are dying to hear
28
00:01:24,214 --> 00:01:26,869
Oscar-certified advice
And celebrity tips.
29
00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:29,350
Like my thought on fasting,
30
00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:33,267
"When you feel like eating,
Don't."
31
00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:35,443
That's just one.
32
00:01:35,485 --> 00:01:37,706
- let's read elka's cup.
33
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:41,144
"Perseverance is
The soul of success."
34
00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:42,753
I think it's talking
About the silver fox.
35
00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:45,061
You should try again.
Persevere.
36
00:01:48,543 --> 00:01:52,286
- well, I guess it's time
To bring out the big guns.
37
00:01:52,329 --> 00:01:54,549
My dimples.
38
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:57,508
Excuse me?
39
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,771
Need some sugar?
40
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:01,121
- no, thanks.
41
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:06,952
- oh, stop that.
42
00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:09,346
These aren't for you.
43
00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,829
[upbeat music]
44
00:02:13,872 --> 00:02:16,048
- ♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
45
00:02:16,091 --> 00:02:19,400
♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
46
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:20,444
♪ hey!
47
00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,011
- so, paula,
48
00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:23,578
It's been three weeks and
The screen door is still broken?
49
00:02:23,621 --> 00:02:25,667
- yes, and when I reminded
My husband,
50
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:26,885
He accused me of nagging.
51
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,627
I mean, what am I
Supposed to do?
52
00:02:29,671 --> 00:02:31,716
- all right, sweetheart,
Men only want three things:
53
00:02:31,760 --> 00:02:33,414
Sex, food, and sex.
54
00:02:33,457 --> 00:02:34,719
So here's what you got to do--
55
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:37,591
- you think sex is
The answer to everything.
56
00:02:37,635 --> 00:02:39,550
- okay, give me a scenario
Where it's not.
57
00:02:39,594 --> 00:02:43,859
- um, okay, you've been
In a horrible accident,
58
00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:46,035
And your arm has been severed.
59
00:02:46,078 --> 00:02:47,254
- if that's the only thing
That's been severed,
60
00:02:47,297 --> 00:02:50,344
Sex is still the answer.
61
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:53,390
- anyway, paula, maybe forget
Asking for your husband to help
62
00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:54,739
And fix the door yourself.
63
00:02:54,783 --> 00:02:57,655
You know, I read
Something inspirational today.
64
00:02:57,699 --> 00:03:00,136
"Freedom comes
From self-reliance."
65
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,746
- yeah, melanie hasn't had
A date in a while,
66
00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:04,749
So self-reliance is
Her only source of freedom.
67
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:12,409
- I'm talking about doing
Something with my own hands.
68
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:16,021
I...Mean...
69
00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:20,504
I am going to install shelves
In my closet.
70
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:21,940
- [laughs]
71
00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,203
I'd like to see that.
72
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:25,117
- well, then you are welcome
To come over.
73
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,771
And when I'm finished,
You'll be eating crow.
74
00:03:26,815 --> 00:03:28,033
- I've had your cooking,
Melanie.
75
00:03:28,077 --> 00:03:30,253
It all tastes like crow.
76
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,602
Ding!
That's round one to frankie.
77
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:34,910
- no, no, it is not.
Paula, disregard the ding.
78
00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:38,000
Paula?
- now look what you did.
79
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:39,654
You went and scared off
Our caller.
80
00:03:39,697 --> 00:03:41,133
- hey, I'm back.
81
00:03:41,177 --> 00:03:45,007
I just had sex with my husband,
And it worked.
82
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:47,314
- he's fixing the screen door?
- yes!
83
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,838
He's out there right now
With a smile on his face.
84
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:52,362
Thanks, frankie.
85
00:03:52,406 --> 00:03:54,234
- ding.
86
00:04:12,948 --> 00:04:15,211
- I don't get it.
87
00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:18,345
These dimples have worked
For eight decades.
88
00:04:18,387 --> 00:04:19,476
- let it go.
89
00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:21,391
There's plenty of fish
In the sea.
90
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:25,961
- oh, he's too pretty
To throw back.
91
00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:27,092
- so what are you gonna do?
92
00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:28,703
- flatter him
93
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:32,272
By acting interested
In whatever he says.
94
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:35,579
I'll put on my listening face.
95
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:37,015
- that works.
96
00:04:37,058 --> 00:04:39,322
Even the dullest, most annoying
People in the world
97
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,803
Are thrilled when someone
Pays attention to them.
98
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:44,153
- fascinating.
99
00:04:47,808 --> 00:04:51,508
- you miserable old bat.
100
00:04:51,552 --> 00:04:54,076
- I got this.
101
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,426
- oh, elka,
You'll want to hear this.
102
00:04:56,470 --> 00:04:58,036
I have big news about me.
103
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:00,169
- fascinating.
104
00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:07,698
- ah, she's a dear,
Isn't she?
105
00:05:07,742 --> 00:05:09,657
I was just on the phone
With my website team,
106
00:05:09,700 --> 00:05:11,615
And they want to capture
My lifestyle
107
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,487
By doing videos of me.
108
00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:16,011
- really?
Hasn't that been done to death?
109
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,273
- they want to include you.
110
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,493
- well, there's a fresh twist.
111
00:05:19,536 --> 00:05:20,842
Are you serious? Me?
112
00:05:20,885 --> 00:05:23,018
- yeah, they like the idea
Of a british sidekick.
113
00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:25,803
- jolly bloody brilliant!
114
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:27,283
- and they're open to anything.
115
00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,285
I mean, whatever we do
In real life
116
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:30,634
Could be an episode
On the website.
117
00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:33,115
- well, let's pour
A glass of wine
118
00:05:33,158 --> 00:05:34,769
And think of an idea.
119
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:36,031
[doorbell rings]
120
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:37,293
- that's got to be frankie.
121
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:39,295
This is gonna be so sweet.
122
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:43,865
[sighs]
123
00:05:43,908 --> 00:05:46,346
Well, well, well, it's frankie.
Perfect timing.
124
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,043
I just finished installing
My shelves.
125
00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:50,437
[shelves crash]
126
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,094
- this is a mess.
127
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,879
- it's not my fault.
The stud finder doesn't work.
128
00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,750
- let me see this thing.
129
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:01,796
Beep, beep, beep.
Yes, it does.
130
00:06:03,188 --> 00:06:05,365
- just tell me what I need to do
To fix it.
131
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,323
- well, for starters,
You got to drywall.
132
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:11,327
- [chuckles]
Duh, drywall.
133
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,285
What's that?
134
00:06:13,329 --> 00:06:15,244
- plasterboard.
135
00:06:15,287 --> 00:06:16,985
Look, it's easy--all you
Got to do is clean up the hole,
136
00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:18,769
Cut a piece of drywall,
Screw it into the studs,
137
00:06:18,813 --> 00:06:20,684
Tape the seams,
Apply the joint compound,
138
00:06:20,728 --> 00:06:22,425
And then all you got to do
Is sand it, prime it,
139
00:06:22,469 --> 00:06:23,687
Couple coats of paint,
And you're done.
140
00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:27,561
- clean...Out...
141
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,954
The...Hole.
142
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,002
- look, I know a guy
Over at the strip club.
143
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,656
He could probably do it for you
For a couple hundred bucks max.
144
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,092
But you got to pay him
In singles,
145
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:38,441
Because he's going out tonight.
146
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:39,921
- you're the guy
From the strip club?
147
00:06:39,964 --> 00:06:41,705
- smart girl.
- yeah.
148
00:06:45,753 --> 00:06:47,711
- may I join you?
149
00:06:47,755 --> 00:06:50,366
- I guess.
150
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:51,976
- I'm elka.
151
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:53,195
- I'm jim.
152
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:57,504
- jim.
What a fascinating name.
153
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:01,377
What are you doing there?
154
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,598
- I'm cost journaling.
155
00:07:04,641 --> 00:07:07,514
I keep track of every purchase
I make.
156
00:07:07,557 --> 00:07:10,995
- tell me more.
157
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:15,130
- which makes it an even $19
On toiletries.
158
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:18,481
It's interesting
How it all adds up, isn't it?
159
00:07:18,525 --> 00:07:22,529
- interesting is not the word
For it.
160
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:25,662
- wait till I tell you
How much I spend on electricity.
161
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,359
It's a shocker.
162
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:29,884
Did you catch that one?
163
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:33,061
- I did.
164
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:35,193
- I like talking to you, elka.
165
00:07:35,237 --> 00:07:39,589
- and you are so handsome.
166
00:07:39,633 --> 00:07:41,112
- I'm so excited to be
Developing this website
167
00:07:41,156 --> 00:07:42,070
With you.
168
00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:43,550
- apropos of nothing,
169
00:07:43,593 --> 00:07:46,030
Are there awards
For this type of thing?
170
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:47,510
- there are.
171
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:49,338
- [shudders]
172
00:07:52,428 --> 00:07:54,735
- and if it blows up,
Crazy money.
173
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:57,433
- we've got loads of
Brilliant ideas for the website.
174
00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,218
- that accent--gold mine!
Love that.
175
00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:02,003
The thing that really
Makes this special is
176
00:08:02,046 --> 00:08:03,918
The victoria/joy dynamic.
177
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:04,875
[doorbell rings]
Oh, good, she's here.
178
00:08:04,919 --> 00:08:05,920
- who's here?
179
00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,138
- well, as I mentioned,
180
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:09,010
We love the joy character.
181
00:08:09,053 --> 00:08:10,577
- character.
You mean me?
182
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,056
- when a sponsor's putting up
This much money,
183
00:08:12,100 --> 00:08:13,580
They always want choices.
184
00:08:13,623 --> 00:08:16,147
- bloody hell,
It's brass monkeys out there.
185
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:21,283
Oh, my god,
It's victoria chase!
186
00:08:21,326 --> 00:08:23,546
You're even more beautiful
In person.
187
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:28,332
- oh, I like this joy.
Don't you, joy?
188
00:08:28,377 --> 00:08:31,206
- okay, I have to admit,
It looks really good.
189
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,513
Now I have to choose
The paint color.
190
00:08:33,556 --> 00:08:36,732
Do I want it to be energetic
Like swiss coffee
191
00:08:36,777 --> 00:08:40,258
Or welcoming
Like summer wicker,
192
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:43,347
Because don't you think a closet
Is sort of a wishing place?
193
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:46,526
- I wish I were deaf.
194
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:47,788
- I want to put the mirror
195
00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:50,181
On the back of this closet door
Right here.
196
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:53,010
Yeah, I think it will fit.
Okay.
197
00:08:53,054 --> 00:08:55,099
Oh, you know what?
It sticks sometimes.
198
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:57,493
- okay, frankie saves melanie:
Part two.
199
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:05,675
- you broke it.
200
00:09:05,719 --> 00:09:07,329
How are we
Supposed to get out now?
201
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,597
- this thing won't budge.
202
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:17,295
Oh, no.
203
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:19,254
Oh, no, this is not good.
204
00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:20,777
I'm a big man
In a small closet.
205
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:21,996
- what is wrong with you?
206
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:23,998
- I'm claustrophobic, okay?
207
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:27,001
Is this room getting smaller?
Are the walls closing in?
208
00:09:27,044 --> 00:09:28,655
I'm going to have to do
My calming song.
209
00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:32,484
♪ didly-didly-didly-dee
Didly-didly-didly-dee ♪
210
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:34,617
- does it work?
- it does.
211
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:37,272
In fact, I'm feeling...
212
00:09:37,315 --> 00:09:38,316
Fine.
213
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:39,274
- okay.
214
00:09:39,317 --> 00:09:41,145
Oh!
215
00:09:41,189 --> 00:09:43,800
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Okay, oh.
216
00:09:43,844 --> 00:09:46,020
♪ didly-didly-didly-dee
217
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:54,898
- you know, elka, I feel like
I can be myself around you.
218
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:58,032
In fact...
219
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:01,296
- holy crap.
220
00:10:01,339 --> 00:10:02,906
I mean nice glasses.
221
00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:03,907
- oh, thanks.
222
00:10:03,951 --> 00:10:09,130
Wow, look who has dimples.
223
00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:10,914
- so you didn't see them before?
224
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:13,569
- no, I'm blind
Without my glasses.
225
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,311
But now that we're dating,
I can wear them all the time.
226
00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:20,881
What happened to the dimples?
227
00:10:26,408 --> 00:10:28,758
- how did it go
With the website people?
228
00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:31,413
- well, I told them I didn't
Want to do it without you.
229
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:33,197
You're my best friend,
And I think they'd be
230
00:10:33,241 --> 00:10:34,677
Totally misguided
To go with olivia.
231
00:10:34,721 --> 00:10:36,853
- thank you, victoria.
- you're welcome.
232
00:10:36,897 --> 00:10:38,768
They're going with olivia.
233
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:41,336
- what?
- it's nothing personal.
234
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,772
They just find her
More likable.
235
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:44,992
- I don't even know
What that means.
236
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:49,213
- well, it means that they
Find her more likable than you.
237
00:10:50,214 --> 00:10:52,173
- I know that, you idiot.
238
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,479
- new joy doesn't say things
Like that.
239
00:10:54,523 --> 00:10:56,177
- they're still going
To call her joy?
240
00:10:56,220 --> 00:10:58,658
- oh, the name just tested
Through the roof,
241
00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:01,878
So there's a win for you.
242
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,315
- ay-yup, girlies.
243
00:11:04,359 --> 00:11:05,926
Victoria, we better get going
If we're going to be there
244
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:07,841
For the start
Of the cavs game.
245
00:11:07,884 --> 00:11:10,147
- oh, yeah, we're shooting an
Episode there for the website.
246
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:13,107
- but joy and victoria going
To the cavs game was my idea.
247
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:14,717
- oh, and we're still doing it.
248
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,893
Joy and victoria are going
To the cavs game.
249
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:19,330
Another win for you.
250
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:23,726
- somebody get rid of these.
251
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:26,947
- oh, god, these are
Some well-ugly specs.
252
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:30,515
We haven't met.
I'm new joy.
253
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:34,171
- oh, I approve.
254
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,483
- you doing better?
255
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:43,006
- a little.
256
00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,008
- eventually, they're going
To come home and find us.
257
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,619
- sure, sure.
258
00:11:47,663 --> 00:11:49,447
- boy, this is real for you,
Isn't it?
259
00:11:49,491 --> 00:11:51,841
- yeah, yeah,
Since I was a kid.
260
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:54,714
See, when I was small,
To save money, my family hid me
261
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:56,411
In the trunk when we would go
To drive-in movies.
262
00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:58,108
And one time,
They forgot about me,
263
00:11:58,152 --> 00:12:00,415
And I was in there
For a couple hours.
264
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,764
I still remember
The movie too.
265
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:04,811
It was cheech and chong
Up in smoke.
266
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,029
- that's terrible.
267
00:12:06,073 --> 00:12:08,423
- it was no better heard
Through a trunk.
268
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,903
- [chuckles]
269
00:12:09,946 --> 00:12:13,471
- and since then, I've been
Afraid of small spaces.
270
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:16,300
And cheech and chong.
271
00:12:16,344 --> 00:12:18,128
- really?
Cheech and chong?
272
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:21,044
Like, "Dave's not here, man."
273
00:12:21,088 --> 00:12:22,263
- stop it, stop it!
274
00:12:22,306 --> 00:12:25,570
- I'm sorry. Jeez.
275
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:28,791
You know what?
I have crazy fears too.
276
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:32,926
I am scared to death
Of butterflies.
277
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:34,971
- butterflies?
278
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,625
Butterflies can't hurt you.
279
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:39,236
- neither can
Cheech and chong.
280
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:44,807
- truce?
281
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,858
I appreciate you sharing
What you're afraid of and, uh,
282
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:53,294
Helping me to calm down.
283
00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,339
- you're welcome.
284
00:12:57,341 --> 00:12:59,213
What are you doing?
285
00:12:59,256 --> 00:13:00,344
- nothing.
286
00:13:02,433 --> 00:13:04,044
What are you doing?
287
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:06,176
- nothing.
288
00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,135
- what are we doing?
289
00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:09,963
- I don't know.
290
00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:12,182
But I'm about to--
- go for it.
291
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,227
- [sneezes loudly]
292
00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:21,757
- door's open.
293
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,413
- uh, sorry about the sneeze.
294
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:28,024
- so, um, what just happened?
295
00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:30,157
- nothing.
Nothing happened.
296
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,333
- good.
That's what I thought.
297
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,683
Just checking.
298
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:37,512
So I'll, uh, see you at work?
- yeah, see you at work.
299
00:13:37,555 --> 00:13:38,513
- yeah, you want me
To fix this door?
300
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:40,820
- no, no.
I like it there.
301
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:50,394
- I guess
Victoria's still sleeping.
302
00:13:50,438 --> 00:13:51,874
She must have gotten home late
From the cavs game
303
00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,397
With her new friend.
304
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:56,879
- I saw victoria and new joy
On the jumbotron.
305
00:13:56,923 --> 00:13:58,881
- can we not call her new joy?
306
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:01,318
- okay, old joy.
307
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:07,890
- good morning, victoria.
308
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,500
Or would you prefer...
[exaggerated accent]
309
00:14:09,544 --> 00:14:13,417
"Cor blimey, victoria,
Good bleeding morning"?
310
00:14:13,461 --> 00:14:15,942
- listen, joy, I know
That last night was bad.
311
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:18,031
- bad?
It was typical.
312
00:14:18,074 --> 00:14:20,642
So typical of you, victoria,
313
00:14:20,685 --> 00:14:23,601
To sacrifice your friends
To climb the ladder of success.
314
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:26,996
But this time, you invited me
On that ladder with you.
315
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:29,172
And just as I was beginning
To enjoy the view,
316
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,913
You kicked me off.
317
00:14:30,957 --> 00:14:32,872
Next time, why don't you just
Take me to the desert,
318
00:14:32,915 --> 00:14:35,265
Have me dig my own grave hole,
And shove me in?
319
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,789
- I could go for a trip
To the desert.
320
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:45,058
- look, joy, I know I deserve
Everything that you just said.
321
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:48,496
And that's why last night
I told the website people that
322
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:52,239
Your friendship means more
Than this project, and--
323
00:14:52,282 --> 00:14:53,240
And I quit.
324
00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:55,851
- you quit?
- yeah.
325
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,506
- but that website's important
To you.
326
00:14:58,549 --> 00:15:00,508
- not as important as you.
327
00:15:00,551 --> 00:15:04,512
I realized something
At that basketball game.
328
00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:06,166
I don't want to spend time
With a person
329
00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:08,951
Who is young and bubbly
And likable.
330
00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:11,998
I want to spend time
With you.
331
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:15,349
- really?
Oh, victoria, I'm so touched.
332
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:17,177
You know what?
333
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:18,700
I'm gonna get some champagne,
334
00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:21,485
So we can celebrate
Our friendship.
335
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,317
- that was a nice thing
You did.
336
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:30,973
- well, it's just
The kind of person I am.
337
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:33,976
- they fired you, didn't they?
338
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,457
- can you believe it?
339
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,981
Apparently new joy tested better
Than I did,
340
00:15:39,025 --> 00:15:40,765
So now they're building
The whole website around her
341
00:15:40,809 --> 00:15:43,029
Instead of me.
342
00:15:43,072 --> 00:15:46,684
But I feel bad.
343
00:15:46,728 --> 00:15:48,382
Do you think I should tell joy
The truth?
344
00:15:48,425 --> 00:15:51,733
- no.
It would hurt her feelings.
345
00:15:51,776 --> 00:15:54,954
Let me do it.
346
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,698
- elka?
347
00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:02,787
- over here.
348
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,791
- it's the strangest thing.
349
00:16:06,835 --> 00:16:09,403
Now I can't find
My spare pair of glasses.
350
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:10,970
- no.
351
00:16:11,013 --> 00:16:12,667
- I've looked
All over your place.
352
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,975
- well, the last time
I saw them,
353
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:18,934
They were under the covers.
354
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,936
Let's go look there.
355
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:45,961
- hello, frankie.
Good to see you.
356
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,356
- hello, melanie.
Good to see you as well.
357
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:59,105
- so, um, that thing that didn't
Happen in the closet yesterday,
358
00:16:59,148 --> 00:17:01,368
That's not going to affect us
Here right?
359
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:02,151
- well, first of all,
Nothing didn't happen
360
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:03,544
In the closet yesterday,
361
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:05,981
And, uh, second,
The show comes first, so--
362
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:06,982
- I'm glad we're clear.
363
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:08,505
- me as well.
364
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:11,769
- up next, he said, she said
365
00:17:11,813 --> 00:17:13,771
With frankie and melanie.
366
00:17:13,815 --> 00:17:17,210
Turn up your radio,
And let the battle begin.
367
00:17:17,252 --> 00:17:19,125
[explosion sound effect]
368
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:20,387
- hello, everybody.
369
00:17:20,430 --> 00:17:22,867
Our first caller is tom
From cuyahoga falls.
370
00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:23,954
- yeah, hi.
371
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:25,608
I've been married
For ten years,
372
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:28,482
And now we're only having sex
Like once a month.
373
00:17:28,525 --> 00:17:29,961
What do I do?
374
00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:32,921
- well, um, maybe you
Should deal with the problems
375
00:17:32,964 --> 00:17:36,403
In your relationship that are
Leading to her lack of interest.
376
00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:38,970
- yeah, I don't really care why.
I just want more.
377
00:17:39,014 --> 00:17:40,450
Right, frankie?
378
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:42,974
- I actually think melanie
Had a pretty great point.
379
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,629
- well, thank you, frankie.
- you're welcome, melanie.
380
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:46,935
- should we take another call?
- I think we should.
381
00:17:46,978 --> 00:17:48,850
- okay.
382
00:17:48,893 --> 00:17:51,853
- hey, guys, uh, so what
Happened with those shelves?
383
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,289
- nothing happened.
- absolutely nothing.
384
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,378
- but she screwed it up,
Right?
385
00:17:55,422 --> 00:17:57,641
- well, actually,
We ended up working together,
386
00:17:57,685 --> 00:17:59,121
And it was
A pretty successful endeavor.
387
00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:02,255
Now melanie has a shelf
That she can put things on.
388
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,909
- uh-huh. Did she put your balls
On that shelf?
389
00:18:04,953 --> 00:18:06,737
- hey.
390
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:08,957
Watch your mouth.
There's a lady here, all right?
391
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:12,700
- thank you, frankie.
- you're very welcome, melanie.
392
00:18:12,743 --> 00:18:15,616
Okay, you know what, we'll be
Right back after this break.
393
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:16,617
What the hell was that?
We're terrible.
394
00:18:16,660 --> 00:18:17,661
- I know!
395
00:18:17,705 --> 00:18:19,228
We're gonna get
Kicked off the air
396
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,143
If we spend the next three hours
Agreeing with each other.
397
00:18:21,187 --> 00:18:23,102
- look, this whole thing started
Because you tried to kiss me.
398
00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:24,886
- I tried to kiss you?
No, no, no.
399
00:18:24,929 --> 00:18:26,322
You tried to kiss me.
You leaned in.
400
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:27,584
- you leaned in.
401
00:18:27,628 --> 00:18:29,847
- the point is,
There was leaning.
402
00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:31,980
- I can't do this show
If you have feelings for me.
403
00:18:32,023 --> 00:18:33,982
- oh, please.
Feelings for you.
404
00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:35,766
The only feeling I have for you
Is utter disgust.
405
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:38,073
- right back at ya, baby.
406
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,292
Oh, this is good.
407
00:18:39,335 --> 00:18:41,120
- I know!
This is us.
408
00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:44,514
- and we're back.
409
00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:46,429
To that caller earlier who was
Only getting it once a month,
410
00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:48,866
I actually agree
With melanie.
411
00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:51,173
Have a dialogue with your wife.
Here's the dialogue.
412
00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:52,479
"Put out or get out."
413
00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:54,437
- please, frankie's just jealous
Of any man
414
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:55,743
That doesn't have to pay
For it.
415
00:18:55,786 --> 00:18:58,528
- and melanie
Can't give it away for free.
416
00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:10,323
- so that's why a thermos
Keeps things both hot and cold.
417
00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:14,240
Goodness, I've been talking
About thermoses for 40 minutes.
418
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:17,112
- has it only been 40?
419
00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:22,813
Look, jim, about us,
I mean, it's been fun--
420
00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:24,598
- ah, hold that thought.
421
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:27,905
It's kind of bright out here.
422
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:33,476
- oh.
423
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,740
Oh, you look good
In those glasses.
424
00:19:36,784 --> 00:19:38,786
Damn good.
425
00:19:40,614 --> 00:19:43,573
- actually,
They're prescription.
426
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:46,750
- so you don't need
Your other glasses?
427
00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,797
- no.
These are easier on my eyes.
428
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:53,801
- they're easier
On my eyes too.
429
00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:58,371
- so, um, what were you
Going to tell me?
430
00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:00,416
- I can't remember.
431
00:20:02,244 --> 00:20:04,507
- elka, I wanted to mention,
432
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:07,467
I'm going to have
Some dental surgery later on,
433
00:20:07,510 --> 00:20:11,122
And I won't be able to talk
For a few days.
434
00:20:11,166 --> 00:20:14,256
- we'll make it work.
435
00:20:30,533 --> 00:20:32,274
[upbeat music]
436
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:34,537
- ♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
437
00:20:34,581 --> 00:20:36,931
♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
438
00:20:36,974 --> 00:20:41,849
♪
439
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:44,243
♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
440
00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,549
♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
441
00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:56,864
♪ hey!
31857
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