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1
00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:03,873
- hot in clevelandis recorded
2
00:00:03,916 --> 00:00:06,093
In front
Of a live studio audience.
3
00:00:06,136 --> 00:00:09,531
- and our newest cocktail,
The victoria chase,
4
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:12,403
A martini
With flecks of oscar gold,
5
00:00:12,447 --> 00:00:14,449
Named after one
Of our most famous customers.
6
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:15,450
- aw.
7
00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:18,322
What do you mean "One of"?
8
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:19,671
- you're all celebrities.
9
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,282
Melanie has her radio show,
10
00:00:21,325 --> 00:00:22,805
Elka's on city council,
11
00:00:22,848 --> 00:00:26,243
And joy's our best customer.
12
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:28,550
Honestly, without your bar tab,
13
00:00:28,593 --> 00:00:32,075
This place would have been
A joanne's fabrics.
14
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:34,164
- so glad I could help.
15
00:00:34,208 --> 00:00:35,948
- hey, you should name a drink
After joy.
16
00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:37,602
- that's not a bad idea.
17
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:38,603
What would that be?
18
00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:42,346
- something flat...
19
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:45,523
That goes down easy.
20
00:00:48,439 --> 00:00:50,702
- so stormi's named a drink
After you, victoria.
21
00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:51,703
How cool is that?
22
00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:54,489
- well, for cleveland,
Very cool.
23
00:00:54,532 --> 00:00:57,579
And that is why I can't wait
To start my new show in l.A.
24
00:00:57,622 --> 00:00:59,581
- [gasps]
So you got the part?
25
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,409
- well, I mean, I still
Have to meet with the creator,
26
00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,106
But, you know,
That's just a formality.
27
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:05,369
I mean, I'm an oscar winner.
28
00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:08,155
- I can't believe
You get to work with zed simms.
29
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:09,721
- I know.
30
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:12,289
I mean, he's created some
Of the most critically acclaimed
31
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:16,032
And confusing hbo series
Of our time.
32
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,426
I can't wait to tell him
How to fix my character.
33
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:20,080
- what's wrong
With your character?
34
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:23,605
- well, I don't know.
I haven't read the script yet.
35
00:01:23,648 --> 00:01:25,868
- melanie, you should come
To l.A. With us.
36
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,565
The production's putting
Victoria up
37
00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,959
In a fabulous malibu
Beach house.
38
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,352
There's plenty of extra room.
39
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,615
Even councilwoman ostrovsky's
Coming.
40
00:01:33,658 --> 00:01:35,747
On the city's dime,
I might add.
41
00:01:35,791 --> 00:01:39,795
- I'm going to bring film jobs
To cleveland.
42
00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:44,408
Or relax trying.
43
00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:46,976
- you know, I'm looking forward
To going to l.A.
44
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,673
- oh, me too.
I miss it.
45
00:01:48,717 --> 00:01:50,066
- you know, you guys
Always say that
46
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:52,024
Because you forget
How bad it is there
47
00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:53,983
And all the reasons we
Moved here in the first place.
48
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:56,985
- it's 75 degrees there.
49
00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,335
- I didn't say
I wasn't coming.
50
00:01:58,378 --> 00:01:59,597
- oh, wonderful!
51
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,643
- I present
52
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:05,560
The joy scroggs,
53
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:09,564
A whole bottle of wine
In one glass.
54
00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:12,044
- oh, my god.
That is borderline insulting.
55
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,045
- oh, I'm sorry.
56
00:02:13,089 --> 00:02:15,831
- I said borderline.
57
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:20,488
[upbeat music]
58
00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,751
- ♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
59
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:25,884
♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
60
00:02:25,928 --> 00:02:27,277
♪ hey!
61
00:02:27,321 --> 00:02:29,453
- victoria, this beach house
Is amazing.
62
00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:30,759
- I know.
63
00:02:30,802 --> 00:02:34,893
It's so good to feel the sun
On my sunblock.
64
00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:37,331
- how do you spell spielberg?
65
00:02:37,374 --> 00:02:40,769
- you actually had a meeting
With steven spielberg?
66
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:43,293
- well, we had drinks.
67
00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:47,776
At least that's what
My expense report says.
68
00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:50,300
Then he came onto me.
69
00:02:50,344 --> 00:02:53,477
That's what my diary says.
70
00:02:53,521 --> 00:02:55,478
- okay,
I hate to admit it,
71
00:02:55,523 --> 00:02:58,829
But I may be falling in love
With l.A. Again.
72
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:02,486
Remember those louboutins that I
Was trying to find in cleveland,
73
00:03:02,530 --> 00:03:03,748
But they said they didn't exist?
74
00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,010
Well, they do exist.
75
00:03:05,054 --> 00:03:07,056
And now they're on my feet.
76
00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:11,278
And they are killing me.
77
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:14,324
- wait till you hear about
This new l.A. Exercise fad.
78
00:03:14,368 --> 00:03:16,413
I went to a class this morning
79
00:03:16,457 --> 00:03:18,937
Where you hang upside down
Like bats.
80
00:03:18,981 --> 00:03:20,287
- that makes sense.
81
00:03:20,329 --> 00:03:23,855
Have you ever seen a fat bat?
82
00:03:23,899 --> 00:03:26,684
And elka got a workout
This morning too.
83
00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:29,731
She ran down the beach
After jeff bridges.
84
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:33,168
- actually,
It was a homeless man.
85
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:37,434
But he seemed very interested
In filming in cleveland.
86
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:39,131
- well, if you'll excuse me,
87
00:03:39,175 --> 00:03:41,612
I should go and get ready
For my meeting with zed,
88
00:03:41,656 --> 00:03:43,918
My genius tv show creator.
89
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,486
- I'll drive you.
90
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:48,140
I just need ten minutes
To sell him on cleveland.
91
00:03:48,184 --> 00:03:50,752
- absolutely not.
92
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:53,537
- oh, look
At those beautiful dolphins.
93
00:03:53,581 --> 00:03:57,454
- wait, why is one of them
Coming out of the sea?
94
00:03:57,498 --> 00:03:59,978
- that's no dolphin.
95
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,372
That's zed.
96
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:07,682
- the camera rises
Out of the ocean
97
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:11,947
And flies the viewers right
Into the sun-drenched action.
98
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,993
Perfect opening shot.
99
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:17,213
Bam, I've done it again.
100
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,084
Victoria chase, zed simms.
101
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:21,870
- zed, I thought
We were meeting in your office.
102
00:04:21,913 --> 00:04:24,046
- I wanted to catch you
By surprise.
103
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:26,048
That's how I want
All my artists,
104
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:28,572
Out of their comfort zones.
105
00:04:28,616 --> 00:04:30,313
You're gonna
Have to forget everything
106
00:04:30,357 --> 00:04:33,185
You think you know about acting.
107
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:37,102
- that won't take long.
108
00:04:37,146 --> 00:04:38,408
- zed, these are my friends.
109
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:39,540
- stay, stay here.
110
00:04:39,582 --> 00:04:42,325
This is about us.
111
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:45,415
And boom, we're done.
112
00:04:45,459 --> 00:04:47,635
Remember, when you
Make yourself comfortable,
113
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,201
You make yourself dead.
114
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:53,423
Enjoy the house.
115
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:57,166
- oh, he's so dynamic
And multitalented.
116
00:04:57,209 --> 00:04:58,776
Oh, look at him,
117
00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:02,258
Swimming with one arm
And texting with the other.
118
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,259
[text message alert]
119
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,827
That must be him.
120
00:05:05,870 --> 00:05:07,350
Oh, no, it's my agent.
121
00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:10,005
Oh, zed said
He enjoyed meeting me.
122
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:12,355
Well, of course he did.
123
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:15,402
But the answer is no.
124
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:21,364
No?
I-I didn't get the part.
125
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,323
- oh, honey, I'm so sorry.
126
00:05:23,366 --> 00:05:27,501
- well, I must have
Done something wrong.
127
00:05:27,544 --> 00:05:30,982
I shouldn't have tried
To introduce you guys.
128
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:34,725
I've got to figure out
Some way to see him again,
129
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,379
So I can change his mind.
130
00:05:36,423 --> 00:05:39,991
Maybe I just made
A bad first impression.
131
00:05:40,034 --> 00:05:42,211
- it happened when I met you.
132
00:05:42,254 --> 00:05:45,823
- yes, but then
You got to know me.
133
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:48,783
- don't go down that road,
Victoria.
134
00:05:56,617 --> 00:05:58,880
- joy, are you sure
Zed is dining here tonight?
135
00:05:58,923 --> 00:06:00,142
I don't' see him anywhere.
136
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,578
- relax.
137
00:06:01,622 --> 00:06:03,624
I knew he'd go to
The hottest restaurant in town.
138
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,539
I hacked
Into the reservation system.
139
00:06:05,582 --> 00:06:07,149
He's dining here alone
At 8:00.
140
00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:09,934
- I am still amazed
That you can do that.
141
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,153
You are
An incredible detective.
142
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:13,503
- I am, aren't I?
143
00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:17,377
- she still hasn't solved
The case of the missing boobs.
144
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,383
- welcome to chemistry,
Ms. Chase.
145
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:26,342
Nitrogen caviar beads on a bed
Of deconstructed hummus
146
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,736
Wrapped
In a lemongrass waffle cone.
147
00:06:28,779 --> 00:06:30,694
- thank you.
148
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:33,393
- oh, I can't eat all of this.
149
00:06:35,699 --> 00:06:37,875
I'm too nervous about zed.
150
00:06:37,919 --> 00:06:39,529
I'm just gonna have to find him
151
00:06:39,573 --> 00:06:41,618
And convince him
That I am right for this part.
152
00:06:41,662 --> 00:06:43,011
- have you read the script yet?
153
00:06:43,054 --> 00:06:46,884
- melanie, this is hollywood,
Not reading town.
154
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,799
- I'm sorry, I almost forgot
The creme fraiche vapor.
155
00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:50,366
- oh, no, thank you.
156
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:53,674
- come on, victoria.
You have to eat something.
157
00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:02,073
Mmm.
158
00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:09,124
- [gasps]
159
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:12,867
Look.
It's gregory pellegrino.
160
00:07:12,910 --> 00:07:15,173
He's the most famous private eye
In l.A.
161
00:07:15,217 --> 00:07:18,394
You know,
This might be a sign.
162
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:20,744
Maybe I'm wasting my talents
In cleveland.
163
00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:22,137
I should go talk to him.
164
00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,052
- well, wait, no,
If you go work for him,
165
00:07:24,095 --> 00:07:26,054
That means you'd have
To move back to l.A.
166
00:07:26,097 --> 00:07:29,492
- oh, do it, joy.
Follow my dream.
167
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:33,365
- [gasps]
168
00:07:33,409 --> 00:07:36,325
It's mario lopez,
And he's coming over.
169
00:07:36,368 --> 00:07:37,848
- mario, darling.
170
00:07:37,892 --> 00:07:39,720
- victoria chase.
171
00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:40,938
So good to see you.
172
00:07:40,982 --> 00:07:42,549
You look gorgeous, as always.
173
00:07:42,592 --> 00:07:44,942
And, by the way,
Congratulations on your oscar.
174
00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:45,943
So deserved.
175
00:07:45,987 --> 00:07:48,946
- I know.
176
00:07:48,990 --> 00:07:51,079
- do you think that
I can get you on my show extra
177
00:07:51,122 --> 00:07:52,080
While you're in town?
178
00:07:52,123 --> 00:07:54,778
- I have a better idea.
179
00:07:54,822 --> 00:07:59,000
Why don't you do your show
In cleveland?
180
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:00,088
- cleveland?
181
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:03,221
- walk with me, dimples.
182
00:08:04,701 --> 00:08:07,748
- where is zed,
And why doesn't he want me?
183
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:11,012
I'm an oscar winner.
184
00:08:11,055 --> 00:08:14,842
No doors in hollywood
Are closed to me.
185
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,060
Wait.
186
00:08:16,104 --> 00:08:18,715
Did I just hear the sound
187
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:21,631
Of a hand touching velvet rope?
188
00:08:23,720 --> 00:08:25,200
Oh, my god.
189
00:08:25,243 --> 00:08:28,595
There's a vip room.
190
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:30,161
And zed must be in it.
191
00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:32,207
- okay.
192
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,556
Victoria, before you
Do anything foolish--
193
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,993
Okay.
194
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,829
- excuse me.
There's been a mistake.
195
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:50,530
I was accidentally seated
With my friends.
196
00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:51,879
- sorry. Vips only.
197
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:54,316
- do you know who I am?
198
00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:58,581
- yes, you're victoria chase,
Winner of just one oscar.
199
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,891
- look, zed sims is up there,
And he's expecting me.
200
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:06,415
- but he said he didn't want
To be disturbed.
201
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,417
- oh, but did he say
He didn't want to be disturbed
202
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:09,984
By victoria chase?
203
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:13,640
- yes, specifically.
204
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:24,085
- good evening,
Mr. Pellegrino.
205
00:09:24,128 --> 00:09:25,347
Joy scroggs.
206
00:09:25,390 --> 00:09:27,741
I'm a detective in cleveland,
207
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,786
But I think
You could use my skills here.
208
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:32,267
- okay, what do you got?
209
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:35,836
- you see that guy
At the end of the bar?
210
00:09:35,879 --> 00:09:39,361
The one whose hair color
Suggests he went gray years ago?
211
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:42,190
He's about to make a move on
The blonde two barstools down,
212
00:09:42,233 --> 00:09:44,932
The tell being the mint strip
He just popped in his mouth.
213
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:49,893
Which isn't a mint strip
At all but is, in fact, viagra.
214
00:09:49,937 --> 00:09:52,635
- you just described every man
In here.
215
00:09:52,679 --> 00:09:54,419
What else do you do?
216
00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:58,423
- I can hack into any computer,
Get past any security system.
217
00:09:58,467 --> 00:09:59,773
- that's very impressive,
218
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,775
But the bread and butter
Of any detective agency
219
00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:03,080
Is catching cheaters.
220
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:08,433
- oh, well, my specialty
Is being a honey trap.
221
00:10:08,477 --> 00:10:12,176
These legs have lured
A lot of men
222
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:14,570
Out of a lot of alimony.
223
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:15,832
- [clears throat]
224
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,529
Aren't you a little, uh--
225
00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:19,009
How can I put this?
226
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:22,099
Well-traveled?
227
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:26,669
- I am from england, so yes.
228
00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:31,543
- I didn't get the part,
229
00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:35,199
And now I can't get
Into the vip room.
230
00:10:35,243 --> 00:10:39,551
How do you stand being ordinary,
Melanie?
231
00:10:39,595 --> 00:10:41,336
- well, I don't think of myself
As ordinary.
232
00:10:41,379 --> 00:10:42,685
- well, of course you don't.
233
00:10:42,729 --> 00:10:44,731
I'm talking about how
The world perceives you.
234
00:10:47,995 --> 00:10:50,693
- can you believe that guy
Thinks I'm too old
235
00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:52,739
To seduce married men in l.A.?
236
00:10:58,440 --> 00:10:59,397
I know!
237
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:02,270
I'm speechless too.
238
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:05,490
I should go prove him wrong.
239
00:11:05,534 --> 00:11:06,970
- yeah, that's it.
240
00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:09,669
That is the thing about l.A.,
Isn't it?
241
00:11:09,712 --> 00:11:11,496
Great weather,
Shopping, treatments.
242
00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:12,976
But at the end of the day,
243
00:11:13,020 --> 00:11:14,848
Only the guys
In cleveland find us hot.
244
00:11:14,891 --> 00:11:18,068
- from the gentleman
Over there.
245
00:11:18,112 --> 00:11:19,853
- scram!
246
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:26,076
- so that's my pitch
For cleveland.
247
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,512
Thanks for your time.
- good pitch.
248
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:28,557
Oh, you're welcome.
249
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:30,167
Oh, uh, elka,
250
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:34,563
You left an envelope of cash
Here on the bar.
251
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:36,826
- I think that's yours.
252
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:46,270
- you didn't see that.
253
00:12:00,676 --> 00:12:02,722
- all right,
I'll see you guys up there.
254
00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:10,991
- I saw you across the room,
And I saw that smile.
255
00:12:11,034 --> 00:12:13,471
And I thought, "Wouldn't it be
Nice if that smile were for me?"
256
00:12:13,515 --> 00:12:15,386
- well, that's very sweet.
257
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,737
But unless things
Have changed in l.A.,
258
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:20,174
Guys your age don't buy drinks
For women like me.
259
00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:21,871
- mm, you doing that thing
That beautiful women do
260
00:12:21,915 --> 00:12:25,005
Where they claim they don't know
They're beautiful?
261
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:30,401
- yeah, I guess I am.
262
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:31,663
- oh, can I get you
Another drink?
263
00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:34,362
- I would love one, yeah.
264
00:12:34,405 --> 00:12:36,581
Now I'm gonna do that thing
That beautiful women do
265
00:12:36,625 --> 00:12:37,669
When they
Put on their reading glasses
266
00:12:37,713 --> 00:12:41,586
To look at the drink list.
267
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:44,372
- I understand this is l.A.,
268
00:12:44,415 --> 00:12:47,810
And I may not be the young,
Dumb honey trap you're used to.
269
00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:50,030
But I do know
How to grab a man's attention.
270
00:12:50,073 --> 00:12:51,248
Observe.
271
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,120
- lady, I'm really--
- I said observe.
272
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:06,263
Oh, I'm so thirsty.
273
00:13:08,526 --> 00:13:12,530
So thirsty.
274
00:13:12,574 --> 00:13:17,057
What does a girl have to do
To get a drink around here?
275
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,406
- I don't know.
Ask the bartender.
276
00:13:18,449 --> 00:13:22,976
- [laughs]
277
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:25,021
Oh, you.
278
00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:32,637
I'm so thirs--
279
00:13:32,681 --> 00:13:36,772
- not interested.
280
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,469
- I am so glad
You came here tonight.
281
00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,254
- me too.
282
00:13:40,297 --> 00:13:42,125
- I'd really like to kiss you.
283
00:13:42,169 --> 00:13:44,519
- well, that's very flattering,
284
00:13:44,562 --> 00:13:48,131
But you are so much younger
Than I am,
285
00:13:48,175 --> 00:13:50,699
Though you have restored
My faith in l.A.
286
00:13:50,742 --> 00:13:52,657
- come on, just one kiss?
Real quick?
287
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:53,920
- real quick?
288
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:55,922
- I'll give you $20.
289
00:13:55,965 --> 00:13:58,968
- what?
290
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,491
- all right, look,
I'm on a scavenger hunt
291
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,493
For a bachelor party,
And I have till 9:00
292
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:06,758
To get a selfie
Of me kissing a hog.
293
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:07,759
- a hog?
294
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:09,892
- hot older girl.
295
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,459
- oh.
- that's you.
296
00:14:11,502 --> 00:14:15,115
- oh, so you've just been
Scamming me this whole time.
297
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:18,335
Well, thank you for reminding me
Why I left l.A.
298
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:20,337
- all right, I'll get back
To the scavenger hunt.
299
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:22,557
- mm.
300
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,951
- hey, you don't happen to have
A garter belt in your purse?
301
00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:28,432
- how about a louboutin foot
In your ass?
302
00:14:51,542 --> 00:14:53,109
- ms. Chase?
303
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:57,374
- uh, I was just looking
For my contact lens.
304
00:14:57,418 --> 00:15:00,769
It fell up.
305
00:15:00,812 --> 00:15:03,641
Oh, fine, just take me back
To my table.
306
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:15,871
- how'd it go with pellegrino?
307
00:15:15,915 --> 00:15:17,568
- mm, terrible.
308
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:20,093
I was trying to show off
My honey trap skills,
309
00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,530
But everyone rejected me.
310
00:15:22,573 --> 00:15:26,403
Then he leaves,
And out of the blue,
311
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:30,755
This hot young guy
Comes over and kisses me.
312
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:38,415
He was so proud of it,
He wanted to take a selfie.
313
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,332
- did he?
314
00:15:48,251 --> 00:15:51,863
- your entree, sir.
315
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:54,518
- [spits]
That's not salmon mist.
316
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:58,609
- I know.
It's my perfume.
317
00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,394
- victoria, what the hell
Are you doing here?
318
00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:01,656
- I had to talk to you.
319
00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:03,179
Now, I am right for this part,
320
00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:04,267
And I can prove it to you.
321
00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:05,486
- how?
322
00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:07,792
- well,
I hadn't thought that far.
323
00:16:07,836 --> 00:16:11,361
I spent all my energy shoving
That waitress into the closet.
324
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:13,276
I just know I can do it.
325
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,713
- no, you're still wrong for it.
326
00:16:15,757 --> 00:16:17,150
- oh, but why?
327
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:20,370
- when I saw you in that bright,
Unforgiving beach sun,
328
00:16:20,414 --> 00:16:22,416
I realized
That you had no chemistry
329
00:16:22,459 --> 00:16:25,941
With your young,
Vibrant costar, malibu.
330
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,638
- what are you saying?
331
00:16:27,682 --> 00:16:31,033
- don't make me tell my agent
To tell your agent
332
00:16:31,077 --> 00:16:34,167
What I'm saying.
333
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:37,257
- do you mean that I am not
Hot enough for malibu?
334
00:16:37,300 --> 00:16:39,476
- your words, my feelings.
335
00:16:45,482 --> 00:16:47,658
- she may not be hot enough
For l.A.,
336
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:51,619
But she's hot enough
For cleveland.
337
00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:54,230
- elka, how did you get here?
338
00:16:54,274 --> 00:16:56,450
- I'm 92.
I do what I want.
339
00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:01,281
- cleveland?
The show's set in malibu.
340
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:03,892
- oh, fine.
Stay in your comfort zone.
341
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:05,894
That's the safe thing to do.
342
00:17:05,936 --> 00:17:09,897
- what are you saying,
Egg chair woman?
343
00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:12,335
Zed simms
Has no comfort zone.
344
00:17:12,378 --> 00:17:13,336
- prove it.
345
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:17,992
Shoot your show
In a real city.
346
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:20,430
- cleveland.
347
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:23,912
Wait, I'm seeing it.
Yes, ah.
348
00:17:23,954 --> 00:17:27,959
The camera
Rises out of the great lake...
349
00:17:28,002 --> 00:17:30,310
Erie?
350
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:33,182
- sure.
351
00:17:33,226 --> 00:17:35,532
- in malibu,
You're not glamorous.
352
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:37,143
Life has slapped you around,
353
00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:39,362
And you have
A lot of bad angles.
354
00:17:39,406 --> 00:17:43,540
But in a place that's gritty
And dark and damp,
355
00:17:43,584 --> 00:17:46,195
Oh, my god.
356
00:17:46,239 --> 00:17:50,721
In cleveland,
You're beautiful.
357
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:51,983
- so I got the part?
358
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:54,116
- yes, yes.
I have to go.
359
00:17:54,160 --> 00:17:55,944
I have to totally rewrite
The role.
360
00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:57,250
- oh, wonderful.
361
00:17:57,293 --> 00:17:58,599
I already have notes.
362
00:17:58,642 --> 00:18:01,732
- which I'm already ignoring.
363
00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:02,994
- we did it, victoria.
364
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:06,128
- we did, didn't we?
365
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,608
Oh, crap.
366
00:18:07,651 --> 00:18:10,001
I'm going back to cleveland.
367
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,351
- can we get out of here?
368
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:12,656
- what, are you kidding?
369
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:15,442
I am the star
Of a new hbo series
370
00:18:15,485 --> 00:18:19,794
In the vip room of
The hottest restaurant in l.A.
371
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,535
Oh, and look.
372
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,624
Oh, they have a little window
In the floor
373
00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:27,149
Where you can look down
On the nobodies.
374
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,673
And there's joy and melanie.
375
00:18:29,717 --> 00:18:33,503
Oh, nothing could get me
Out of this place.
376
00:18:33,547 --> 00:18:35,810
[rumbling]
377
00:18:37,290 --> 00:18:38,421
- earthquake!
378
00:18:40,771 --> 00:18:46,037
[glass shatters]
379
00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:47,256
- we need
To evacuate the premises.
380
00:18:47,300 --> 00:18:49,606
Hot women
And child stars first.
381
00:18:49,650 --> 00:18:53,393
- oh, I hate l.A.
382
00:18:53,436 --> 00:18:55,873
Let's go home.
383
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:05,144
- a round of elka ostrovskies
For you ladies.
384
00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:07,363
- hey, I thought
Those were victoria chases.
385
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:10,801
- they were, but we renamed them
In honor of the councilwoman.
386
00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:13,021
Thanks for bringing jobs
To cleveland.
387
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:14,327
- I had to.
388
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:17,939
I spent so much money.
389
00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:20,724
- they're from those guys
Over there.
390
00:19:20,768 --> 00:19:22,726
- well, now that is
More like it.
391
00:19:22,770 --> 00:19:24,598
Strong drinks
From good-looking men.
392
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:26,077
[chuckles]
It's good to be home.
393
00:19:26,121 --> 00:19:27,688
- oh, it is.
394
00:19:27,731 --> 00:19:30,473
It's so comforting to know
That, if hired to,
395
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:34,216
I could ruin any marriage
In here.
396
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:36,131
- l.A. Makes me shallow.
397
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:37,393
When I was there,
398
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:39,134
I was jealous
Of everyone else's success.
399
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:41,832
But here,
Everyone's jealous of me.
400
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,573
- you know what l.A. Is?
401
00:19:43,617 --> 00:19:45,923
L.A. Is
The sexy bad boyfriend.
402
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:47,273
You keep going back to him,
Thinking he's gonna change,
403
00:19:47,316 --> 00:19:48,752
But he's never going to.
404
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:51,668
Cleveland,
He's our loving husband.
405
00:19:51,712 --> 00:19:53,540
- you know, I've already been
With cleveland
406
00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:57,239
Longer than any husband
I've ever had.
407
00:19:57,283 --> 00:19:58,545
He may not be glamorous,
408
00:19:58,588 --> 00:20:00,547
But he's always there
At the end of the day.
409
00:20:00,590 --> 00:20:04,072
- and like a good husband,
Cleveland always thinks
410
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:06,379
We're just a little bit better
Than we are.
411
00:20:06,422 --> 00:20:08,598
- buzz off, ladies.
412
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:10,644
I was here first.
413
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:21,959
[upbeat music]
414
00:20:22,003 --> 00:20:24,440
- ♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
415
00:20:24,484 --> 00:20:27,269
♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
416
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:31,708
♪
417
00:20:31,752 --> 00:20:33,971
♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
418
00:20:34,015 --> 00:20:36,887
♪ ba-ba, ba-ba
419
00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:46,245
♪ hey!
29765
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