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1
00:00:13,310 --> 00:00:14,538
Hey, Calvin.
2
00:00:14,563 --> 00:00:15,753
Hola, mi amor.
3
00:00:15,778 --> 00:00:18,381
Guess what I'm making.
4
00:00:18,473 --> 00:00:20,492
Paella.
5
00:00:20,783 --> 00:00:25,122
Yes, the authentic recipe
we learned in "Barthelona."
6
00:00:25,955 --> 00:00:29,389
Well, you know, you could say
Barcelona like an American.
7
00:00:29,414 --> 00:00:31,556
No, I like saying "Barthelona"
8
00:00:31,581 --> 00:00:33,171
like a "Barthelonian."
9
00:00:33,196 --> 00:00:37,435
You know, Calvin, you don't
have to make paella every day.
10
00:00:37,460 --> 00:00:40,797
I still haven't finished
my lunch paella.
11
00:00:43,363 --> 00:00:45,565
Hey, you must have had a busy day.
12
00:00:45,590 --> 00:00:47,692
Yeah, let's go with that.
13
00:00:49,812 --> 00:00:52,249
And speaking of getting busy,
14
00:00:52,349 --> 00:00:55,985
you know, we haven't done
that since this morning.
15
00:00:57,387 --> 00:00:59,334
Calvin, where's my favorite mug?
16
00:00:59,359 --> 00:01:01,462
Oh, I, uh, I threw it out.
17
00:01:01,958 --> 00:01:05,197
Yeah, I was watching
Jennifer Hudson this afternoon,
18
00:01:05,222 --> 00:01:06,858
and the feng shui expert said that
19
00:01:06,883 --> 00:01:09,907
you should replace any
chipped or broken item.
20
00:01:09,932 --> 00:01:12,001
But my mug wasn't chipped.
21
00:01:12,169 --> 00:01:15,538
Well, I broke it when I was
trying to feng shui the kitchen.
22
00:01:17,219 --> 00:01:18,788
Oh, by the way,
23
00:01:18,813 --> 00:01:21,480
Magnum, P.I. thinks we should
get a reverse mortgage.
24
00:01:21,505 --> 00:01:22,972
What you think?
25
00:01:25,515 --> 00:01:28,155
Okay, Calvin, I know that you've had
26
00:01:28,180 --> 00:01:31,678
a lot of time on your hands
since selling the shop, but...
27
00:01:31,703 --> 00:01:35,191
you got to stop watching daytime TV.
28
00:01:35,192 --> 00:01:38,155
How about you just get out the house?
29
00:01:38,180 --> 00:01:39,471
Do something.
30
00:01:39,496 --> 00:01:43,475
Babe, I'm doing things.
I got plenty of stuff to do.
31
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:45,535
My schedule is jam-packed.
32
00:01:45,635 --> 00:01:49,038
Alexa, what's on my calendar tomorrow?
33
00:01:49,206 --> 00:01:51,741
At 03:00 p.m., you have a haircut.
34
00:01:51,841 --> 00:01:54,369
Hmm? Didn't you get a haircut yesterday?
35
00:01:54,394 --> 00:01:57,565
Yes, Tina. I'm a very hairy man.
36
00:01:59,416 --> 00:02:02,352
Well, how about you
go out and play some golf?
37
00:02:02,973 --> 00:02:05,359
Well, all my friends work.
38
00:02:06,756 --> 00:02:08,561
Are you trying to get rid of me?
39
00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:10,868
No, no, no, baby. I just...
40
00:02:10,893 --> 00:02:12,529
I don't think it's very healthy
41
00:02:12,629 --> 00:02:17,234
for a man to stay at home all day,
or his wife might kill him.
42
00:02:17,334 --> 00:02:21,190
Oh! I just watched
a Lifetime movie about that.
43
00:02:21,215 --> 00:02:22,817
You know, the lady
got away with it, too.
44
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,128
- Synced and corrected by synk -
- www.addic7ed.com -
45
00:02:32,187 --> 00:02:33,440
Okay.
46
00:02:33,465 --> 00:02:36,042
Oh, Tina, we can't take all your paella.
47
00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:39,203
Please take it.
It'll really help my marriage.
48
00:02:39,929 --> 00:02:41,931
Ooh, look, Dave wants some.
He's drooling.
49
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:44,133
Nah, it's from the dentist.
50
00:02:44,233 --> 00:02:45,802
I'm still numb.
51
00:02:47,904 --> 00:02:49,839
Here, sweetie, clean yourself up.
52
00:02:51,673 --> 00:02:55,444
So, has it been hard for Calvin
having all this free time?
53
00:02:55,544 --> 00:02:58,214
Hard for me. He's driving me crazy.
54
00:02:58,314 --> 00:02:59,581
He's always here.
55
00:02:59,681 --> 00:03:03,619
He watches my shows before I do
and then spoils the endings.
56
00:03:03,719 --> 00:03:05,421
You know, I finally
just sent him to Ernie's bar
57
00:03:05,521 --> 00:03:06,967
to give away some of this paella.
58
00:03:06,992 --> 00:03:09,229
And there's this much left?
59
00:03:10,259 --> 00:03:11,660
You feel my pain.
60
00:03:11,685 --> 00:03:13,409
Ooh.
61
00:03:14,063 --> 00:03:16,165
Mama! Oh. Hey, guys.
62
00:03:16,265 --> 00:03:18,856
- Hey.
- Did a box come for me today?
63
00:03:18,881 --> 00:03:20,048
Oh, yeah, it's right over there.
64
00:03:20,073 --> 00:03:22,313
Um, why did you have it sent here?
65
00:03:22,338 --> 00:03:24,223
I didn't want Malcolm to see it.
66
00:03:24,248 --> 00:03:27,118
It's a longsword
for my Arthurian groom-posal.
67
00:03:27,143 --> 00:03:28,945
It's a what for the what what?
68
00:03:31,747 --> 00:03:33,762
I'm gonna ask Malcolm to be my best man.
69
00:03:33,787 --> 00:03:35,589
And then slay him?
70
00:03:36,418 --> 00:03:38,988
Marty's doing a grooms-posal.
71
00:03:39,088 --> 00:03:41,423
They're like prom-posals,
but for your groomsmen.
72
00:03:41,523 --> 00:03:43,392
Yeah, back when I did mine,
73
00:03:43,492 --> 00:03:45,394
society thought
they were only for bridesmaids.
74
00:03:46,328 --> 00:03:48,865
Then I rode into my friend Bobby's yard
75
00:03:48,965 --> 00:03:51,433
on that horse, shirtless.
76
00:03:52,701 --> 00:03:56,906
I broke barriers
for groomsmen everywhere.
77
00:03:57,974 --> 00:03:59,008
I'm...
78
00:03:59,108 --> 00:04:01,443
I'm-I'm gonna go "shirt on."
79
00:04:02,211 --> 00:04:05,047
But I do want Malcolm to be blown away.
80
00:04:05,147 --> 00:04:08,250
So, uh, Marty, got all your
groomsmen picked out already?
81
00:04:08,350 --> 00:04:12,421
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, i... It's only four of us.
82
00:04:12,521 --> 00:04:14,968
It's Malcolm, my two
best friends from college,
83
00:04:14,993 --> 00:04:17,228
and my play cousin Daniel.
84
00:04:17,726 --> 00:04:19,128
S-So he's not even
85
00:04:19,228 --> 00:04:20,396
- a real cousin, huh?
- David...
86
00:04:20,496 --> 00:04:22,531
Dave, let it go.
You're not in the wedding.
87
00:04:22,631 --> 00:04:24,566
Stop being so thirsty.
88
00:04:29,906 --> 00:04:34,143
Oh, shoot. Ernie's killing it
at cornhole. He's undefeated.
89
00:04:34,243 --> 00:04:35,911
Hey, Calvin,
90
00:04:35,912 --> 00:04:38,580
do you want me to embarrass
you next or should I
91
00:04:38,605 --> 00:04:40,642
crush Trey as a warm-up?
92
00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:42,894
Also, no outside food.
93
00:04:42,919 --> 00:04:43,919
Oh.
94
00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,288
It's paella. I brought you some.
95
00:04:46,388 --> 00:04:48,457
Oh, don't mind if I do.
96
00:04:48,557 --> 00:04:51,160
Winning burns a lot of calories.
97
00:04:53,029 --> 00:04:55,131
Ernie, I haven't seen
you lose in a week.
98
00:04:55,231 --> 00:04:56,298
You juicing?
99
00:04:56,398 --> 00:04:58,667
Nah. No, man. No, no, no.
100
00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:00,102
I'm just the best holder
101
00:05:00,202 --> 00:05:02,939
anyone's seen this side of the 405.
102
00:05:03,039 --> 00:05:04,573
Probably the other side, too.
103
00:05:04,673 --> 00:05:06,642
There's just
too much traffic to be sure.
104
00:05:08,403 --> 00:05:11,774
You bragging about
throwing beanbags in a hole?
105
00:05:17,339 --> 00:05:19,541
Sound like somebody's scared.
106
00:05:19,641 --> 00:05:22,845
Ooh, I'm terrified.
107
00:05:22,964 --> 00:05:24,945
What's the next challenge... Hopscotch?
108
00:05:24,946 --> 00:05:27,181
Or maybe Candy Land?
109
00:05:27,281 --> 00:05:29,718
Calvin, just whup his ass
and shut him up.
110
00:05:29,743 --> 00:05:30,769
Man. Hey.
111
00:05:30,794 --> 00:05:32,495
I-It's ridiculous, man.
112
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,857
This requires no skills.
I mean, anybody could do it.
113
00:05:35,957 --> 00:05:37,525
Watch.
114
00:05:41,195 --> 00:05:42,363
Ha-ha!
115
00:05:42,463 --> 00:05:44,232
Reminds me of the time
we played mini-golf
116
00:05:44,332 --> 00:05:45,900
and you hit that old lady.
117
00:05:46,668 --> 00:05:49,971
It was a bank shot off her walker.
I still made par.
118
00:05:50,071 --> 00:05:51,472
Ah.
119
00:05:53,642 --> 00:05:55,209
Okay.
120
00:05:56,651 --> 00:05:58,085
Oh. Oh, yeah.
121
00:05:58,179 --> 00:06:00,048
Close, close, but no cigar.
122
00:06:00,148 --> 00:06:03,652
All right, this ain't over.
All right, here we go.
123
00:06:07,790 --> 00:06:09,090
Yeah!
124
00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:10,424
Oh!
125
00:06:10,524 --> 00:06:12,861
Boom, baby! In your face!
126
00:06:14,228 --> 00:06:16,064
Okay, Calvin. All right.
127
00:06:16,164 --> 00:06:18,266
If you feeling so cocky,
128
00:06:18,291 --> 00:06:20,084
then why don't you
play in the tournament?
129
00:06:20,109 --> 00:06:21,477
Mm, nah, I'm good.
130
00:06:21,502 --> 00:06:24,238
Uh-huh. Uh, I-I forgot... You retired.
131
00:06:24,338 --> 00:06:28,242
You too busy sitting on the front porch
in a rocking chair.
132
00:06:28,342 --> 00:06:30,478
Ooh!
133
00:06:31,917 --> 00:06:34,453
You know what? I'm in.
134
00:06:34,553 --> 00:06:37,556
And for your information, it's a glider!
135
00:06:38,871 --> 00:06:40,913
All right. Well, good luck, Calvin.
136
00:06:40,914 --> 00:06:44,677
Good luck. Oh, did you see
the gallery of champions?
137
00:06:44,678 --> 00:06:46,846
They all look a lot like me, don't they?
138
00:06:48,915 --> 00:06:52,018
You know, I forget about
the year you had the toupee.
139
00:06:52,104 --> 00:06:55,007
It's called a hair unit.
140
00:07:00,426 --> 00:07:02,061
Hold on.
141
00:07:05,077 --> 00:07:06,545
Oh, my God!
142
00:07:11,771 --> 00:07:13,572
Marty, what is going on?
143
00:07:13,714 --> 00:07:16,850
Malcolm Langston Butler,
first of his name,
144
00:07:17,191 --> 00:07:20,442
you are hereby commanded to pull
145
00:07:20,467 --> 00:07:22,271
the sword from yon stone.
146
00:07:22,296 --> 00:07:26,367
Only the true best man
can such a feat achieve.
147
00:07:29,123 --> 00:07:30,291
What?
148
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:34,088
If thou wouldst be the best man,
149
00:07:34,175 --> 00:07:37,744
thou must pull the very
expensive custom-engraved sword
150
00:07:37,844 --> 00:07:40,147
from yonder stone.
151
00:07:40,247 --> 00:07:43,984
Okay, Marty, obviously
I am going to be your best man.
152
00:07:43,985 --> 00:07:46,687
Uh, did you say "wouldst"?
What does that even mean?
153
00:07:46,787 --> 00:07:48,722
I don't know, man.
Can you just play along?
154
00:07:48,822 --> 00:07:50,224
No, I said I'm in, Marty, okay?
155
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,038
I-I'm doing all the best man stuff.
156
00:07:52,126 --> 00:07:53,994
I went to the cake tasting,
we went soup shopping.
157
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,997
Okay, if-if you're not into this,
158
00:07:56,097 --> 00:07:57,698
maybe I'll ask somebody else.
159
00:07:58,176 --> 00:07:59,900
Marty, I'm your only brother.
160
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:02,269
Who else would you ask
to be your best man?
161
00:08:02,294 --> 00:08:03,771
Derek.
162
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:07,341
Derek? Derek has no personality.
163
00:08:07,441 --> 00:08:08,909
He's a board game friend.
164
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,844
You have to be distracted
just to hang out with him.
165
00:08:10,869 --> 00:08:13,297
Well, Derek would have pulled the sword
from the stone by now, man.
166
00:08:13,322 --> 00:08:15,191
Well, 'cause Derek is a dork!
167
00:08:15,216 --> 00:08:18,018
Great. You tell him that to his face
168
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,537
when he takes your role as the best man.
169
00:08:19,562 --> 00:08:20,579
Wha...
170
00:08:20,604 --> 00:08:21,939
From the shadows you come
171
00:08:22,189 --> 00:08:25,826
and to the shadows I bid you return.
172
00:08:30,197 --> 00:08:32,466
Almost had it.
173
00:08:34,035 --> 00:08:36,703
Don't flatter yourself.
You weren't even close.
174
00:08:36,803 --> 00:08:38,339
You're pulling your left shoulder.
175
00:08:38,439 --> 00:08:39,873
Thanks a lot, Gemma.
176
00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:41,608
But a lot of those bags went in the hole
177
00:08:41,708 --> 00:08:45,479
before you broke my concentration
by sneaking up on me.
178
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,850
Okay, you want to keep missing,
keep doing it your way.
179
00:08:49,950 --> 00:08:53,720
Or you could square up a bit
and add a little arc to your toss,
180
00:08:53,820 --> 00:08:55,122
like this.
181
00:08:58,059 --> 00:09:00,361
Damn, woman, you can hole.
182
00:09:00,461 --> 00:09:01,928
Where'd you learn to play like that?
183
00:09:01,953 --> 00:09:03,988
There wasn't a lot to do
in Hickory Corners.
184
00:09:04,198 --> 00:09:07,067
All we had was corn.
Either you ate it or you threw it.
185
00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:08,435
Or the crows got it.
186
00:09:08,535 --> 00:09:11,172
On a bad day, all three could happen.
187
00:09:11,938 --> 00:09:14,541
So, you used to play with corn?
188
00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:15,976
Did you not have Barbie dolls?
189
00:09:16,077 --> 00:09:17,378
Crows got 'em.
190
00:09:19,346 --> 00:09:21,482
That's why I became so good at cornhole.
191
00:09:21,507 --> 00:09:23,800
Uh, w-wait, wait.
I want to learn how to play.
192
00:09:24,085 --> 00:09:26,153
Cornhole isn't something you learn.
193
00:09:26,253 --> 00:09:28,122
It's something you become.
194
00:09:28,222 --> 00:09:32,293
When I holed,
I gave myself fully to the game.
195
00:09:32,318 --> 00:09:33,969
I'd expect you to do the same.
196
00:09:33,994 --> 00:09:35,629
- I'm ready.
- No.
197
00:09:35,654 --> 00:09:37,889
No, you're not.
198
00:09:38,835 --> 00:09:40,303
But you will be.
199
00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:43,170
Forget everything you think
you know about cornhole.
200
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,939
I literally know nothing.
201
00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:49,381
Raw clay. I like it.
202
00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:57,425
Derek?
203
00:09:57,526 --> 00:10:00,328
- Derek is gonna be your best man?
- Yes, Mom.
204
00:10:00,535 --> 00:10:03,717
Help me remember...
Did I carry Derek in my womb?
205
00:10:04,866 --> 00:10:06,735
I think you know you did not.
206
00:10:06,835 --> 00:10:09,504
Then Derek should not be your best man.
207
00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:11,111
Calvin, back me up.
208
00:10:11,571 --> 00:10:13,506
Listen to your mama, boy.
209
00:10:14,008 --> 00:10:16,244
Ooh! Four in a row!
210
00:10:17,064 --> 00:10:18,666
Calvin!
211
00:10:19,047 --> 00:10:22,181
What? I'm folding the laundry.
Thanks for noticing.
212
00:10:22,617 --> 00:10:26,187
Stop playing games and help me
talk some sense into this boy.
213
00:10:26,307 --> 00:10:29,911
Uh, Marty, if you want your
brother to be your best man,
214
00:10:29,991 --> 00:10:32,326
you should ask him like a normal person.
215
00:10:32,351 --> 00:10:33,670
I'm sure he'll say yes.
216
00:10:33,695 --> 00:10:35,229
Well, he did say yes.
217
00:10:35,254 --> 00:10:38,758
That's not the point, Daddy.
He disrespected my process.
218
00:10:39,968 --> 00:10:43,071
Listen, baby,
when you look back on your wedding
219
00:10:43,096 --> 00:10:44,998
years from now...
220
00:10:47,742 --> 00:10:50,411
...you're gonna want to have
those memories with your brother.
221
00:10:51,680 --> 00:10:53,281
Calvin, what the hell are you doing?!
222
00:10:53,381 --> 00:10:55,650
I'm emptying the dishwasher.
223
00:10:55,750 --> 00:10:58,186
Apparently, I have to do
everything around here.
224
00:11:02,356 --> 00:11:03,925
That was going in.
225
00:11:06,828 --> 00:11:09,030
I mean, it is nonstop, Trey.
226
00:11:09,130 --> 00:11:11,432
One ridiculous wedding event
after another,
227
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:13,835
a-and the groom-posal was insane.
228
00:11:13,935 --> 00:11:15,970
There was a rock, there was a sword,
229
00:11:16,070 --> 00:11:17,739
and then there was a suit of armor.
230
00:11:19,207 --> 00:11:22,844
So, he did all that just
to ask you to be his best man?
231
00:11:22,869 --> 00:11:24,671
Yes. I mean, it's ridiculous, right?
232
00:11:24,696 --> 00:11:25,697
Tell me I'm wrong.
233
00:11:25,722 --> 00:11:27,391
- You're wrong.
- Thank you.
234
00:11:27,416 --> 00:11:29,318
Wait, what?
235
00:11:29,618 --> 00:11:31,285
I'm just saying, Marty went through
236
00:11:31,385 --> 00:11:33,788
all that trouble to make you
feel loved and appreciated,
237
00:11:33,888 --> 00:11:35,990
and you went and acted like a jackass.
238
00:11:36,090 --> 00:11:38,259
I did not.
239
00:11:40,810 --> 00:11:43,646
Word on the street is you
were a total jackass to Marty.
240
00:11:45,811 --> 00:11:47,513
I said yes to Marty, okay?
241
00:11:47,538 --> 00:11:49,428
Look, maybe I wasn't as
nice as I could have been...
242
00:11:49,453 --> 00:11:51,823
Okay, I-I don't care. Uh...
243
00:11:52,641 --> 00:11:55,376
Are you now bumped down
to regular groomsman
244
00:11:55,476 --> 00:11:58,947
or... or are you out out,
and now there's an opening?
245
00:11:59,714 --> 00:12:02,250
Well, I can't be completely
out of the wedding, Dave.
246
00:12:02,350 --> 00:12:05,253
Uh, I mean, look, I got to do something.
247
00:12:05,353 --> 00:12:08,857
Marty's a big baby,
but he is my baby brother.
248
00:12:08,957 --> 00:12:11,359
You're right. You're a good brother.
249
00:12:11,459 --> 00:12:12,994
Damn it.
250
00:12:13,094 --> 00:12:16,030
So, what do I do?
251
00:12:20,935 --> 00:12:23,905
Malcolm, go to him.
252
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,450
Yeah, but you got to do it right.
253
00:12:28,475 --> 00:12:32,044
After what you did,
you need to go all the way. Yeah.
254
00:12:32,274 --> 00:12:34,711
Meaning I got to
completely humiliate myself?
255
00:12:34,983 --> 00:12:37,018
No, no, not at all.
256
00:12:37,118 --> 00:12:39,821
Now, let's talk tunics and tights.
257
00:12:39,921 --> 00:12:42,523
Oh...
258
00:12:53,067 --> 00:12:56,437
You do know there's nothing
in your hand, right?
259
00:12:57,098 --> 00:12:58,700
Of course, babe.
260
00:12:58,816 --> 00:13:01,485
The tournament is tonight.
I can't risk injury.
261
00:13:01,976 --> 00:13:04,412
Hey, Tina, would you do me the honor
262
00:13:04,512 --> 00:13:07,782
of shagging my bags this evening?
263
00:13:07,882 --> 00:13:09,250
Do what now?
264
00:13:11,067 --> 00:13:13,370
I forgot, you don't speak hole.
265
00:13:15,488 --> 00:13:17,701
It means retrieving my bags.
266
00:13:17,726 --> 00:13:20,228
I just need to concentrate
on my throwing.
267
00:13:20,328 --> 00:13:23,731
Alexa, is it windy in Pasadena tonight?
268
00:13:23,732 --> 00:13:26,034
Hello, Cornhole King.
269
00:13:26,134 --> 00:13:28,302
This evening in Pasadena, California,
270
00:13:28,327 --> 00:13:31,164
it's breezy at 14.2 miles per hour.
271
00:13:31,189 --> 00:13:32,390
Hmm.
272
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:36,077
I'm gonna have to adjust
my arc for the wind.
273
00:13:38,012 --> 00:13:42,072
Did you actually program Alexa
to call you Cornhole King?
274
00:13:42,097 --> 00:13:46,135
Yes. And trust me,
it's starting to catch on.
275
00:13:49,623 --> 00:13:52,894
Uh, you know, Calvin, I know I
encouraged you to get out of the house
276
00:13:52,994 --> 00:13:54,328
and find something to do,
277
00:13:54,428 --> 00:13:56,097
but don't you think
that maybe you're taking
278
00:13:56,197 --> 00:13:58,099
this Cornhole thing
a little too seriously?
279
00:13:58,199 --> 00:14:00,134
Don't be ridiculous.
280
00:14:01,770 --> 00:14:05,840
Calvin, bombaye!
281
00:14:05,940 --> 00:14:08,843
Calvin, bomba...
282
00:14:08,943 --> 00:14:11,445
Did you people not see Ali?
283
00:14:12,715 --> 00:14:14,752
Calvin, bombaye!
284
00:14:14,777 --> 00:14:18,781
Calvin, bombaye! Calvin, bombaye!
285
00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:26,060
Go, babe!
286
00:14:27,937 --> 00:14:30,339
It's all right, my man.
287
00:14:30,364 --> 00:14:33,935
You can tell your grandkids
you got beat by Calvin Butler.
288
00:14:34,035 --> 00:14:35,469
Go on, now.
289
00:14:38,206 --> 00:14:40,274
Calvin, let's talk management.
290
00:14:41,698 --> 00:14:42,966
What are you celebrating?
291
00:14:42,991 --> 00:14:44,493
You haven't won anything yet.
292
00:14:45,146 --> 00:14:47,481
I just took the semis.
293
00:14:47,975 --> 00:14:49,276
Finish the job!
294
00:14:50,985 --> 00:14:52,520
Sorry, Calvin.
295
00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:54,555
You've had your fun,
but your little lucky streak
296
00:14:54,655 --> 00:14:57,291
ends here. This is my house.
297
00:14:57,316 --> 00:14:59,585
Yeah, that's because
you lost your real house
298
00:14:59,610 --> 00:15:00,978
in your last divorce.
299
00:15:03,857 --> 00:15:05,225
True.
300
00:15:05,250 --> 00:15:09,555
But not you or my other exes or the IRS
301
00:15:09,580 --> 00:15:11,247
can take cornhole from me.
302
00:15:11,272 --> 00:15:14,275
Don't you worry, Calvin Butler.
303
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:15,769
I'll keep the trophy here.
304
00:15:15,794 --> 00:15:17,796
You can come see it whenever you want.
305
00:15:17,846 --> 00:15:20,423
Oh. Uh, I'm gonna see it every night
306
00:15:20,456 --> 00:15:22,080
'cause it'll be in my bedroom.
307
00:15:22,105 --> 00:15:23,572
The hell it will.
308
00:15:23,597 --> 00:15:26,900
Hey, uh, shag girl,
you're messing up my trash talk.
309
00:15:37,699 --> 00:15:40,072
Hedwig?!
310
00:15:47,275 --> 00:15:50,444
"Your presence is requested
in Mother and Father's yard
311
00:15:50,469 --> 00:15:52,509
"at the stroke of 9:00.
312
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:56,955
Yours, magically, Alan Dumbledore."
313
00:15:58,807 --> 00:16:01,220
It's Albus, but okay.
314
00:16:05,919 --> 00:16:08,621
Who dares approacheth my lair?
315
00:16:09,697 --> 00:16:11,377
You invited me, Dumbledore.
316
00:16:11,402 --> 00:16:15,736
Yes, right.
Approacheth, Grayskull Legolas.
317
00:16:16,804 --> 00:16:20,541
You are mixing so many different things,
but I love it!
318
00:16:22,362 --> 00:16:24,212
When I cast this spell,
319
00:16:24,237 --> 00:16:28,867
you will no longer remember that
I was dickish unto thee.
320
00:16:30,180 --> 00:16:32,750
And you will once again welcome me back
321
00:16:32,775 --> 00:16:36,445
as your best friend,
your best brother and...
322
00:16:37,651 --> 00:16:39,287
...your best man.
323
00:16:41,251 --> 00:16:43,486
Kombucha!
324
00:16:45,470 --> 00:16:48,740
Yes. A thousand times yes.
325
00:16:51,557 --> 00:16:53,359
This is unbelievably tense.
326
00:16:53,384 --> 00:16:54,785
It is?
327
00:16:55,972 --> 00:16:59,542
They're tied. They've gone
bag-for-bag this whole round.
328
00:16:59,567 --> 00:17:00,668
The next hole wins.
329
00:17:00,693 --> 00:17:02,528
Ooh, and then we're done?
330
00:17:03,904 --> 00:17:05,673
Oh. Hey, hey.
331
00:17:05,787 --> 00:17:07,322
You hear that, Calvin?
332
00:17:07,410 --> 00:17:09,979
That hole is calling my name.
333
00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:14,350
Ooh!
334
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:17,443
Yeah. Oh, I hear it now.
335
00:17:17,687 --> 00:17:21,357
And it's saying,
"You're in second place, sucker."
336
00:17:22,198 --> 00:17:24,266
Time out. Time out, time out.
337
00:17:24,360 --> 00:17:26,562
Calvin, his bag
is teetering over the edge.
338
00:17:26,662 --> 00:17:28,097
It's air mail time.
339
00:17:28,198 --> 00:17:29,232
- Air mail?
- Yes.
340
00:17:29,332 --> 00:17:30,500
We practiced this.
341
00:17:30,600 --> 00:17:32,235
No, we didn't.
342
00:17:32,335 --> 00:17:34,437
We didn't? Crap.
343
00:17:34,537 --> 00:17:35,938
Okay.
344
00:17:36,038 --> 00:17:38,908
You've got to arc high. Crazy high.
345
00:17:39,008 --> 00:17:40,943
Higher than you've ever
arced in your life.
346
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:43,045
Your bag's got to come straight down
347
00:17:43,213 --> 00:17:45,648
through that hole without
taking Ernie's bag in with it.
348
00:17:45,748 --> 00:17:47,717
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Delay of game.
349
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:50,220
Okay, hey, I'm tossing.
350
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:52,221
I'm tossing, man.
351
00:17:52,222 --> 00:17:53,889
Okay.
352
00:18:20,883 --> 00:18:23,886
Yes! We did it! We're awesome!
353
00:18:23,986 --> 00:18:26,422
Suck it, loser!
354
00:18:28,758 --> 00:18:31,260
Hey, uh, good game, Calvin.
355
00:18:31,261 --> 00:18:33,796
- Yeah, that felt pretty good.
- Oh,
356
00:18:33,896 --> 00:18:35,598
need to take your picture for the wall.
357
00:18:35,698 --> 00:18:37,667
Oh, not without my shag girl.
358
00:18:37,767 --> 00:18:39,101
Nah, I'm good.
359
00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:44,607
Hey, that was, uh
that was some fine holing, Calvin.
360
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,609
Yeah. Maybe the best I've ever seen.
361
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,711
- It was fun.
- Yeah, it was.
362
00:18:48,811 --> 00:18:51,914
Oh, it doesn't have to be over.
See, there's a doubles circuit.
363
00:18:52,014 --> 00:18:54,083
We can take this act
on the road as a team.
364
00:18:54,183 --> 00:18:57,086
There is a tournament
next weekend in Reno.
365
00:18:57,186 --> 00:18:59,622
- Now, the way I figure...
- Look, sorry, Ernie.
366
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:03,343
I mean, since I sold the
shop, I have been looking
367
00:19:03,368 --> 00:19:06,070
for something to be
passionate about, but...
368
00:19:06,095 --> 00:19:08,931
this is your thing, man. All right?
369
00:19:09,031 --> 00:19:10,666
I'm still searching for mine.
370
00:19:10,766 --> 00:19:13,302
Mm. You'll find it, baby.
371
00:19:13,303 --> 00:19:16,472
Hey, you-you sure about that, Calvin?
372
00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:19,041
Very. But you...
373
00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:20,476
You go out there and give 'em hell.
374
00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:21,736
Hey!
375
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,829
I'll do it.
I'll go with you, Ernie. Reno!
376
00:19:23,854 --> 00:19:25,923
Reno!
377
00:19:25,948 --> 00:19:27,157
Hey,
378
00:19:27,182 --> 00:19:28,317
- you drive stick?
- Yeah.
379
00:19:28,318 --> 00:19:29,719
- Uh-huh.
- Yeah, you do.
380
00:19:29,744 --> 00:19:32,297
Hey, hey! You're not going to Reno.
381
00:19:32,322 --> 00:19:34,374
You're a wife, a mother and a principal.
382
00:19:34,399 --> 00:19:37,793
Okay, Gemma,
uh, go home, all right? Go on, now.
383
00:19:37,818 --> 00:19:39,487
Go.
384
00:19:45,468 --> 00:19:48,338
Something is definitely wrong with her.
385
00:20:00,875 --> 00:20:05,245
David Seymour Johnson,
first of his name, come forth.
386
00:20:12,252 --> 00:20:13,787
Oh, my God.
387
00:20:13,888 --> 00:20:15,389
Is this happening?
388
00:20:15,489 --> 00:20:17,925
The maiden Necie hath decreed
389
00:20:18,025 --> 00:20:21,695
that the size of her bridal
party will increase by one.
390
00:20:21,795 --> 00:20:25,032
Her cousin Keisha will be joining us
from the Woods of Ingle.
391
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:27,467
Huh?
392
00:20:27,567 --> 00:20:29,269
Keisha from Inglewood.
393
00:20:31,171 --> 00:20:35,642
Wilst thou do me the most high honor
394
00:20:35,742 --> 00:20:37,711
of joining the Groom's Watch?
395
00:20:37,811 --> 00:20:39,914
Wedding is coming.
396
00:20:41,048 --> 00:20:44,151
T'would be my honor, your grace.
397
00:20:45,819 --> 00:20:49,156
With thy very knee
I bendeth like Beckham.
398
00:20:54,194 --> 00:20:55,395
Macchiato!
399
00:20:58,435 --> 00:21:02,435
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