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1
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Someone's here to see you.
2
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:46,840
Really?
3
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,240
It's Gibby!
4
00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:49,600
I am Gibby.
5
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,080
Er, hi, Gibby.
6
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,280
Well, come in, come in.
7
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,960
Can you believe it? It's Gibby.
8
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:00,760
You are the Jonny?
9
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,120
Er, yup.
10
00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:05,640
And you are the Adam.
Or just "Adam".
11
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:07,240
I am the Gibby.
12
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,320
OK.
13
00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,840
What an amazing surprise, eh, boys?
14
00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,240
Yes, it would be if we...
15
00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,680
UNDER HIS BREATH:
..knew who she was.
16
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,920
What? Don't be silly.
17
00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:18,200
It's Gibby.
18
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,960
To them I am a mystery.
19
00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,720
Oh.
20
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,640
Oh, Gibby?
21
00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:27,200
Oh, why were you
so horrible to Gibby?
22
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:28,520
What? Who's Gibby?
23
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,760
I am Gibby.
24
00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,520
Who, is she?
She's your bloody au pair.
25
00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:35,240
So, we have an au pair now, do we?
I'll get the potty.
26
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,240
Not now, stupid, your old au pair.
27
00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:39,560
She's come to visit. Old au pair?
28
00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,800
Yes, you were four,
and Jonny was a baby.
29
00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,880
From Switzerland? Liked animals?
30
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,920
Used to cry quite a lot.
31
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,280
The memory of me, it has vanished.
32
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,560
What? Of course the memory
of you hasn't vanished.
33
00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,320
BOTH: The memory of you
hasn't vanished.
34
00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:01,760
There we are.
35
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:05,720
I am Gibby.
36
00:02:05,720 --> 00:02:07,760
Oh, my God.
37
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,840
Come though, darling.
38
00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:11,880
Well, did they remember her?
39
00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,880
GIBBY CRIES
40
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,400
She seems stable.
41
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:19,080
Oh, why did you have to
say anything?
42
00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:21,200
What?
43
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:22,800
KNOCKS ON DOOR
Gibby?
44
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:26,280
Excuse me,
I am using the facilities.
45
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,000
She's using the facilities?
46
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,680
URINATING
47
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,520
She's using the facilities.
48
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:38,240
Well, they're obviously
excellent facilities.
49
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:39,360
She's still in there? Shhh.
50
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,600
But who just turns up?
Stop it, will you?
51
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:45,600
So, how long's she staying?
Five bleeding nights.
52
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,680
All right, Martin.
53
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,200
Ah, five nights
with a total nutjob.
54
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,720
She's not a nutjob.
55
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:53,160
No, he said "total nutjob".
MARTIN LAUGHS
56
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:54,560
Martin.
57
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,920
She's just a little emotional.
58
00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,360
Gibby was always a little
emotional, wasn't she, Martin?
59
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:00,240
A little emotional?
60
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,360
Oh, she was so sweet,
she used to love it here.
61
00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:06,000
And you know, she's already
asked about having a cream tea.
62
00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:08,240
JACKIE LAUGHS
Only 40 bloody times.
63
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:10,880
Sorry, having a cream tea?
64
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,640
What? Like scones and cream and jam?
65
00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:15,040
Yeah. Don't you remember?
66
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:16,920
Gibby used to go to the
hotel round the corner,
67
00:03:16,920 --> 00:03:18,280
and have a cream tea every day.
68
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,840
Every day she had a cream tea?
69
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,240
And you let this woman look
after your children, did you?
70
00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,240
For a whole year. Very good.
71
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:26,720
While she worked her way
through 365 cream teas.
72
00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:28,200
Stop it.
73
00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:30,880
She just tried one once,
and was, you know, hooked.
74
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,880
Total nutjob.
75
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,080
Shut up.
76
00:03:35,080 --> 00:03:37,320
You used to adore her,
Adam, adore her.
77
00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:38,880
All right. I return.
78
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,160
Oh. There you are, love.
Everything OK now?
79
00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,960
Yes. The facilities,
they are clean.
80
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,480
Oh. Great.
81
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,600
I sit in the vicinity of the boys?
82
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,280
Um.
83
00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:52,200
The vicinity.
84
00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:54,560
Aw, Gibby and our little babies.
85
00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,240
Smile!
86
00:03:58,240 --> 00:04:01,840
CLICK
Mum. Ah, lovely.
87
00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:03,040
Aw.
88
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:04,600
And now we go for the cream tea?
89
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,840
Christ.
90
00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,120
Er, not now, Gibby, OK?
91
00:04:08,120 --> 00:04:10,640
But, you are saying the old hotel,
92
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,800
it is still providing
the cream teas?
93
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,240
Yes, but we'll get a cream
tea another day.
94
00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:17,360
Oh.
95
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,880
Gibby is very sad.
96
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:23,520
Um. Gibby's also visiting
some of the other families
97
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,600
she worked for all those years ago.
98
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:26,480
Isn't that... Weird?
99
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,480
Yes, I am performing all the visits.
100
00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:32,560
The family Sullivan, they is nice.
101
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:35,400
The family Goodman,
they is very nice.
102
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,800
Ooh.
103
00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:40,840
The family Carter,
they is the best family.
104
00:04:42,320 --> 00:04:43,600
Um, right.
105
00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:45,920
But they is dead.
106
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,000
DOORBELL RINGS
I'm getting that.
107
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,720
What he said. Yup.
108
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,720
Hello, boys and man.
109
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,520
ALL: Hi. All right, Jim?
110
00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:59,280
No, I'm not all right, actually.
111
00:04:59,280 --> 00:05:01,320
Really? I'm wounded.
112
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:02,920
JONNY AND ADAM: Wounded?
113
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:04,080
Oh, God, Jim, come in.
114
00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:05,520
Thank you, Martin.
115
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:07,880
Come no, Milson. Get up there.
116
00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:09,320
Oh, uh, uh.
117
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:10,920
That's it.
118
00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,920
Where's your wound?
119
00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:14,160
Here.
120
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,000
That's your wound?
121
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,360
I don't have any plasters you see.
122
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,920
And what if a dirty microbe
got inside the wound
123
00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:28,000
and travelled all
the way down to my organs?
124
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,080
Your organs?
125
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,360
Yes, my kidneys, my livers.
126
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,640
You only have one liver, Jim.
127
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,920
I only have one liver now?
128
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:37,000
Everything all right?
129
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,680
Jim's lost one of his livers.
Huh?
130
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,640
Do you have a plaster, Jackie?
131
00:05:41,640 --> 00:05:44,680
I have a terrible, gaping wound.
132
00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,320
God. Jonny, get a plaster.
133
00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,120
Go on, Puss-face. Ugh. Jonny.
134
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:52,200
A man und a dog,
they is in the house.
135
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,520
MILSON WHINES
136
00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:56,800
Um, Jim, this is Gibby.
137
00:05:58,760 --> 00:06:00,000
It's Gibby.
138
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:02,040
The dog, it is large.
139
00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:03,320
Is it?
140
00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,560
Um, Gibby's from Switzerland.
141
00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,360
In Switzerland, the dogs
of the mountain,
142
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:11,440
they is as large as wolves.
143
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,240
Wolves?
144
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,320
Er, Gibby was our au pair.
145
00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:18,360
A pear? Right.
146
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:19,560
Auf wiedersehen.
147
00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:21,600
JACKIE: Er, thank you.
148
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,040
Plaster. Thanks, Bobble.
149
00:06:24,040 --> 00:06:25,800
Jim, do you want me
to do it for you, or?
150
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:27,920
Can Gibby do my plaster?
151
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,040
OK.
152
00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:37,000
One, two... Ah, ah! ..it is done.
153
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,080
Good boy.
154
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,520
Good girl.
155
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:41,400
Und now I must use the facilities.
156
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,880
Jackie, might I
also use the facilities?
157
00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,880
Jim, Gibby's using the loo.
158
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,880
URINATING
159
00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,440
Yes, Gibby's using the loo.
160
00:06:57,240 --> 00:06:58,400
Goodbye, Jim.
161
00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:01,160
Oh, yes, come on Milson.
162
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,760
Yes, Switzerland...
163
00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:07,960
Ugh. Has Professor Bonkers gone?
164
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,680
Martin. What?
165
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,600
Jim fancies Gibby.
166
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,560
Shit on it.
167
00:07:17,800 --> 00:07:20,040
Can't we just start? Shhh.
168
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,560
What's she still doing in there?
169
00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:23,200
Rebuilding the facilities?
MESSAGE TONE
170
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,360
Oh, Jim, not again.
171
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:27,440
What's he want now?
172
00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:30,040
"Is Gibby warm enough in the house?"
173
00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:32,040
Seriously?
He met her for one minute.
174
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,160
He's bloody obsessed with her.
175
00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,680
MESSAGE TONE
Oh. Another one?
176
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:39,200
"Please ensure Gibby has easy
access to fresh water."
177
00:07:39,200 --> 00:07:40,440
Boys, get the hosepipe.
178
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,840
Yeah, and strangle me with it.
JACKIE LAUGHS
179
00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:44,040
I return.
180
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,520
Um, great.
181
00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,240
Everything OK now?
182
00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:50,960
Yes. My body, it is emptied.
183
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:52,360
How nice.
184
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,880
Right, tuck in, everyone.
JACKIE LAUGHS
185
00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:58,040
Ooh, and there's still about
900,000 potatoes,
186
00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:59,360
so don't be shy.
187
00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:00,600
Mm.
188
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,520
That's it, Martin, don't be shy.
189
00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:04,480
Ow.
190
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:08,960
Gibby, nice?
191
00:08:08,960 --> 00:08:10,280
Gibby is nice?
192
00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,440
Er, the food, do you like the taste?
193
00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:16,080
Mm, this is a difficult question.
194
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,880
Really? Why?
195
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:19,560
Because there is no taste.
196
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,600
And you're staying here how long?
197
00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,160
For the five nights.
198
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,080
Oh, yes, the five nights.
199
00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,040
Actually, Jackie, the
taste that is the best for me
200
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,080
is the taste of the cream tea.
201
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:32,680
Bloody hell.
202
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:36,320
You know, with the scone
and the cream.
203
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:37,200
Um, yeah, love.
204
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,920
And the jam of the
berries of the straw.
205
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:40,720
Strawberry jam.
206
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,840
So, we are getting the
cream tea now, ja?
207
00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:48,200
Now? Er, not now, Gibby,
OK? Maybe tomorrow?
208
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:49,480
Hmmm?
209
00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,680
This is a tragedy.
210
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,160
WHISPERS: Five nights.
211
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,880
DOORBELL RINGS
Oh, Jim? Obviously.
212
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,520
Obviously. Hmmm?
213
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,440
Nothing. What do you want?
214
00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:06,400
Er.
215
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,800
Great.
216
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,960
Um, I must apologise,
217
00:09:12,960 --> 00:09:16,080
but I think I left
something in your house,
218
00:09:16,080 --> 00:09:18,840
you know, when I was here earlier.
219
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,120
Really? What?
220
00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,840
How's Gibby?
221
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:24,680
Erm, fine.
222
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:27,120
What did you lose, Jim?
Where's Gibby?
223
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,080
She's in the dining room.
What did you lose?
224
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:33,400
Yes, I lost it in the dining room.
225
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,760
No, you didn't lose
it in the dining room
226
00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:38,400
because you didn't go in
the dining room, remember?
227
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:39,720
You were just here.
228
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,120
Yes, well, maybe the
thing that I lost...
229
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,760
..it rolled all the way from here
230
00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,360
into the dining room.
231
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,480
OK, and the thing that you lost was?
232
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,120
A marble. Of course it was.
233
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,000
Yes, it was a particularly
round marble
234
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:05,080
because it rolled all the
way from here to remain...
235
00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,280
Jim? ..here.
236
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,080
Hello, all. Pissing heck.
237
00:10:11,080 --> 00:10:12,600
Oh, hi, Jim.
238
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,200
Jim's lost a pretend marble.
239
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:17,000
Pretend marble? Real marble.
240
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:17,800
Huh?
241
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,960
Hello...
242
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,560
..Gibby.
243
00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:23,920
Jim.
244
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:27,160
JIM WHINES AWKWARDLY
245
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,640
Is that all, Jim, or..?
246
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,560
Um, oh, yes.
247
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:31,800
Actually, no.
248
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,640
There is something I need
to talk to Gibby about.
249
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,800
Really? Um...
250
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,160
..Switzerland.
251
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:42,800
Mm-hmm.
252
00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:47,520
Well, thanks, Jim, so
if you could...
253
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:49,160
JIM WHINES AWKWARDLY
254
00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:50,520
Martin?
255
00:10:51,920 --> 00:10:54,080
Come on, Jim.
GIBBY LAUGHS
256
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,480
Come on.
257
00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:00,600
Right. Argh.
258
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:01,800
My God.
259
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,480
Erm, sorry about him, Gibby.
260
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:05,720
He is a nice man?
261
00:11:05,720 --> 00:11:09,080
Hm. Um. He has the fat legs?
262
00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,480
What? I'm sorry? Fat legs?
263
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:14,800
Because the man I was with,
I am having to finish with him
264
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,640
because he has the fat legs.
265
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,680
So, normal reasons, then.
266
00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:20,640
Jackie, you think Jim
has the fat legs?
267
00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:23,480
Er, I wouldn't really
know that, love.
268
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,720
GIBBY MOANS ANXIOUSLY
269
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,520
Nearly broke my bleeding back.
270
00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:33,520
GIBBY MOANS
271
00:11:35,160 --> 00:11:37,000
Everything all right, there, Gibby?
272
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,960
She's thinking about the fat legs.
273
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,920
The fat legs?
274
00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,440
Um. You OK, love?
275
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:46,920
I am just remembering living in the
house with the Goodman family.
276
00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:50,520
It is the happiest
time in the life for Gibby.
277
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:52,080
Ah, sweetie.
278
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:56,400
Sometimes I wished
you was my family.
279
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,960
GIBBY SOBS
280
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,000
Oh, come here, love.
281
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,560
Don't be sad.
282
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:09,480
CRIES: Ja-ck-ie!
283
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:13,360
Jackie, there is only one
thing in the world that can make me
284
00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,320
feel happy in this moment.
285
00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:17,280
Really? And what's that?
286
00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,600
I mean, it's ridiculous.
287
00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:24,560
Going for a cream tea
halfway through dinner?
288
00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:26,120
Who wants to bloody do that?
289
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:27,400
I want to bloody do that.
290
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,240
That's cos you'll eat
anything at any time.
291
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:31,120
Yeah, is there anything
you won't eat, ever?
292
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:34,640
Erm, wasps?
293
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,240
Oh, hurry up with the facilities.
294
00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:38,640
You OK, Gibby?
295
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:42,840
I am now re-emptied.
296
00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:44,640
Mazeltov. Let's go.
297
00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,520
Oh, crab. What are you doing there?
298
00:12:48,520 --> 00:12:52,600
Oh, just looking for my
very round marble.
299
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,000
Hello, Gibby.
300
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:59,480
Hello, the Jim.
301
00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:02,360
Well, we're just
popping out now, so...
302
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,480
Oh, where are you "popping" to?
303
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,320
WHISPERS: Don't tell him.
304
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,240
We go to the old hotel Welmsley
to have the cream tea.
305
00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:11,720
You put cream in your tea?
306
00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:14,000
It's a creamy tea?
307
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,120
Goodbye.
308
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:17,800
Oh, I forget.
309
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,280
Gibby.
310
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,520
Oh-oh-oh!
311
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,800
Hmmm.
312
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,200
Gibby fancies Jim.
313
00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:50,800
Well, here we are.
314
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:54,800
Oh, my mouth is very excited
for the taste of the cream tea.
315
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,600
Is your mouths very excited
for the taste of the cream tea?
316
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:00,760
Oh, yes,
we all have very excited mouths.
317
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,800
And now I must use the facilities.
318
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,400
Bloody hell.
319
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,200
Can't we just dump her
here for five nights?
320
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,040
What? The hotel or the car park?
321
00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,320
Either will do.
322
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:10,560
Come on.
323
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:13,040
Wait. That's Bradley.
324
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:13,680
Bradley?
325
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:15,800
It is. I haven't seen him for about
40 years.
326
00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:17,440
We went to school together.
327
00:14:17,440 --> 00:14:19,240
Oh, God...
HE GASPS
328
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,760
He's lost an arm.
329
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:21,440
Poor Bradley.
330
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,440
Oh, dear.
331
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,320
Erm, excuse me.
332
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:28,840
I don't believe it!
It's Martin bloody Goodman.
333
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,360
That's right!
334
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:31,240
Hello, Bradley.
335
00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:32,320
Er, Neville.
336
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:33,920
Oh, yes, I meant Neville.
337
00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,440
Erm, Shirley, this is Martin.
We went to school together.
338
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,840
Lovely to meet you.
339
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,960
Oh, yes, this is my family.
340
00:14:39,960 --> 00:14:41,040
The wife.
341
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,480
And, er, the children.
342
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:44,800
Thank you.
343
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:48,200
You know, lads, me and your dad got
up to no end of mischief at school.
344
00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:49,720
Really? Did you?
345
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:52,920
Remember old Hasting's car,
when we let down all his tyres?
346
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,880
What? No.
347
00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:55,800
Yeah, by the main hall.
348
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,440
And we did Miss Gant's tyres.
349
00:14:57,440 --> 00:14:59,320
Did we?
350
00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,880
And Mr Dudley's tyres.
Don't you remember? Erm...
351
00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:02,800
He doesn't have the best memory.
352
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,600
He hasn't got a memory!
353
00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:08,600
Er, by the way, I'm so sorry.
When, er...
354
00:15:08,600 --> 00:15:09,880
When did that happen?
355
00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:12,800
When did what happen?
356
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:13,720
Your arm.
357
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,760
My arm? His arm?
358
00:15:15,760 --> 00:15:17,760
Are you joking or something?
359
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:19,320
Sorry? I didn't have an arm when I
knew you.
360
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,200
- Oh, God.
Didn't you?
361
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,560
No. I was born without an arm.
362
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:24,880
Shit. I must have forgot.
363
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,440
Er...
364
00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,320
Um... Well, nice to have met you
all.
365
00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:33,880
Yeah, really nice.
366
00:15:33,880 --> 00:15:35,120
You've never had an arm?
367
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,280
Goodbye, Martin.
368
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,960
Yeah, see you, Bradley.
369
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,440
Neville.
370
00:15:40,480 --> 00:15:42,240
Well, that wasn't the most
371
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,520
embarrassing conversation of all
time. Yeah, well done, dad.
372
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:46,160
Fancy not remembering
he didn't have an arm!
373
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:47,920
All right.
I remembered he didn't have a tail.
374
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:49,240
Martin!
375
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,600
Hello, all.
THEY ALL GROAN
376
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:55,440
Is this the right place for a
creamy tea?
377
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:59,440
Ooh! Oh, Jim! Oh, no!
378
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:02,760
Naughty Mr Metal Spoon is coming
back for more!
379
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,040
No, Jim, no!
380
00:16:04,040 --> 00:16:04,880
Please make it stop.
381
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:07,840
CLATTERING
382
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:10,800
Erm, five cream teas?
383
00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:11,840
Thank God.
384
00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:13,080
There you are.
385
00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,040
And one...
386
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,360
..creamy...tea.
387
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:24,680
Ahh, creamy tea.
388
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:30,080
HE GROWLS SOFTLY
389
00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,200
Lovely and thick.
390
00:16:33,520 --> 00:16:38,360
25 years I am
waiting for the delicious cream tea.
391
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,760
Well, I hope you enjoy
it as much as you used to.
392
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:43,520
I hope so also, Jackie.
393
00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,640
Very much.
394
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,760
Well? Well?
395
00:16:53,760 --> 00:16:56,200
Oh... Gibby?
396
00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:58,880
The cream is just too much sweet.
397
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:00,720
The jam, it is too much not sweet.
398
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:01,760
And the scone...
399
00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:02,720
SHE SNIFFS
400
00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:06,400
It is smelly.
401
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:07,680
"Smelly"?
402
00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:12,680
SHE SOBS
403
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:17,840
JIM SLURPS LOUDLY
404
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:23,560
Well, this is terrific.
405
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:30,240
Oh, come on, Gibby, come out now.
406
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,560
I do not never come out.
407
00:17:32,560 --> 00:17:33,880
What a shame.
408
00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:35,280
What are we meant to do?
409
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,560
Nothing. She just spends the next
five nights locked in a hotel bog.
410
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:40,320
Yup. Where's your father?
411
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,760
Er, he's just finishing his five
cream teas.
412
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,040
SHE SIGHS
413
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:48,000
Oh, come out, will you?
414
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,680
Jackie, I've finished my creamy tea
415
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:54,880
and now I'm all ready to
liberate Gibby.
416
00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,400
You're going to liberate Gibby,
are you, Jim?
417
00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,120
Yes, Jackie.
418
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,000
Right. And what are you going to do?
Kick the door down?
419
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,840
Erm...
420
00:18:02,840 --> 00:18:04,600
Stand back, please.
421
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,600
# There was a frog lived in a well
422
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,040
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee
423
00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,040
# There was a mouse lived in a well
424
00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,520
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee
425
00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:21,360
# The frog he would a-wooing ride
426
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:23,000
# With a sword and buckler by his
side
427
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,640
# With a harum-scarum diddle dum
darum
428
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,920
# Whipsee diddledee dandy dee! #
429
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:34,840
DOOR OPENS
430
00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,760
Thank you, Jim.
431
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,120
It is beautiful.
432
00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:53,000
We're going.
433
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,920
What do you mean we're going?
Don't ask.
434
00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:57,240
I've still got another three
cream teas to get through.
435
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,200
Come on. Jackie!
436
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,200
Come on!
437
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:04,040
I'm sorry, Martin.
438
00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,520
The girl's too much.
She's just too much.
439
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:09,040
Hm? Ugh! Martin!
440
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:10,880
Dad... What?
441
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,840
Your tyres?
442
00:19:12,840 --> 00:19:13,680
Oh, crap.
443
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,000
I wonder who did that?
444
00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:20,840
Neville sodding Bradley git.
445
00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:22,760
Right, well, here we are, then, Jim.
446
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,600
Yes, here we are.
447
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,120
Not you.
448
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:30,960
Oh, Jim is not here?
449
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,160
No, he's just had to pop home and...
450
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,680
Make love to his dog.
451
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:35,640
Ow!
452
00:19:35,640 --> 00:19:37,880
Gibby is so sad without Jim.
453
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,280
Yes, well, I'm sure you'll survive.
454
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:44,600
Why don't you come and have a nice
little sit-down in the living room?
455
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:45,760
On the own?
456
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:47,480
That's right - on the own.
457
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,920
Mum?
458
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,200
Upstairs.
459
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,720
Ooh, what about this place?
460
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:02,000
Martin, you've shown me
that place five times already.
461
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,880
It's fully booked. All right.
462
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:06,680
Isn't it a bit mean to just stick
her in a hotel for the weekend?
463
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,000
Boys, it's only a couple of nights.
464
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:11,080
This place?
Oh, my God, it's the same place!
465
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:12,400
Right, move. I'm doing it.
466
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,360
SHE SIGHS
467
00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,280
Boys, please give your
father Internet lessons.
468
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:18,200
Bloody Internet.
469
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,160
There's got to be somewhere
near that's got a room.
470
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:22,440
That place looks all right.
471
00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:23,680
Does it look all right?
472
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,000
"I found a rat in my room."
473
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,520
The London Rat Hotel.
474
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,080
Oh, shit.
475
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:31,440
You know, we're the ones
that should be staying in a hotel,
476
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:32,880
Jackie, not old Giblet features.
477
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:34,280
Ha-ha!
478
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,400
Having a bit of time to ourselves.
479
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,480
Dad!
480
00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:38,880
Having a bit of nippy-nippy.
481
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:41,520
Argh! Oh, my God, you're animals!
482
00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,640
Oh, just go downstairs, then,
if you don't like it.
483
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,480
We don't like it. Yeah.
484
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:49,600
Enjoy your five nights here with
Gibby-Gibby and no nippy-nippy.
485
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:52,000
Sods.
486
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:53,520
I mean...
JIM: Gibby!
487
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,520
SHE LAUGHS
Oh, Casanova's back.
488
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:01,560
MUSIC PLAYS
489
00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:08,680
Terrific evening.
490
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:10,120
And jump!
491
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,920
Er, Jonny? What?
492
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:26,880
Er, why are Mum and Dad driving off
in your car?
493
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:30,720
Oi! Mum? Dad? Hey!
494
00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,440
Come back!
495
00:21:32,440 --> 00:21:34,360
Where are they bloody going?! Right!
496
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:38,440
What's going on?! Adam?
497
00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,400
What's that?
Obviously they're not answering.
498
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:46,280
The shits. "Found a room in a
rat-free hotel. Back late Sunday."
499
00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:47,840
Oh, my God! The shits!
500
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,880
"Please look after Gibby."
501
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:51,800
They want us to look after Gibby?!
Bastards!
502
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,760
What's dad put here? Oh,
"Two words, - nippy-nippy."
503
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,600
Nice touch. I can't believe it.
504
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,920
They've just dumped us
here with bloody... Hello?
505
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,200
The mother and the father,
they is gone?
506
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,160
Er, they've just had to go
away for a couple of days, Gibby.
507
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:06,480
Yeah.
508
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,120
But...who will look after Gibby?
509
00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,520
BOTH: We will look after Gibby.
510
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,560
Can we do some more erotic dancing,
now, Gibby?
511
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:22,880
Jim, I am thinking we have the
upstairs of the house
512
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:24,720
to ourselves tonight.
513
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:25,920
Oh, God.
514
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,600
Maybe we can be having some fun.
515
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:30,000
Ooh, Gibby...
516
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,320
Ahh... Ahh!
517
00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:34,640
Er...
518
00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:38,440
You are liking what you are seeing?
519
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,000
Oh, yes, Gibby.
520
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,800
Guys...
521
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:44,400
Maybe you are liking to see
some more?
522
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,360
HE BREATHES RAPIDLY
523
00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:54,480
Wolves! Wolves!
524
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,520
HE WHIMPERS
525
00:22:57,480 --> 00:22:59,120
HE SCREAMS
526
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:01,800
Oh...
527
00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:02,840
Oh.
528
00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,360
I use the facilities.
529
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:10,560
# I change shapes just to hide in
this place
530
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:15,200
# But I'm still, I'm still an animal
531
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:17,920
# Nobody knows it but me when I slip
532
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:22,360
# Yeah, I slip, I'm still an animal
533
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:25,480
# I change shapes just to hide in
this place
534
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:28,920
# But I'm still,
I'm still an animal... #
535
00:23:28,920 --> 00:23:31,960
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